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3rd December 1986
I still remember the third of December, me in your sweater
You said it looked better on me than it did you
Only if you knew , how much I liked you
The callous wind did everything but help Steve’s predicament - the first few nights of December that welcome in the new winter always bring in the uncaring and unwelcome cold - he should’ve known better.
So now Steve was left, shivering , wearing nothing but a flimsy t-shirt and his overtly tight jeans , on a relentless freezing night. He never should’ve agreed to even leave his bedroom tonight but Robin was too stubborn and that was the only reason he came , he definitely didn’t agree the second he realised she would be there too.
And there she was, leaned up against Steve’s new car , cheap drink in hand , staring up at the twinkling stars - or she was , until she noticed the state Steve was in - She smirked , and tugged off her navy sweater that was a little too big on her , and gestured for Steve to take it.
As he started to protest , she lightly scoffed - “Harrington just take the damn thing , you’re about a minute away from dying on me”
So he did , hastily , all while she took in Steve’s form , from his mudded sneakers to his - very very cared for- hair , she slowly let a smile take over her face and said , unbeknownst to the inner turmoil taking place in his heart -
“It looks better on you than me , i’m sort of jealous Harrington.”
Afterwards they sat in comfortable silence , just taking in the glorious night sky - at least until Robin arrived.
But I watch your eyes as she walks by
What a sight for sore eyes,
Brighter than the blue sky
She's got you mesmerized while I die
Steve watched her as her eyes glanced over every part of Robin , as if she was trying to memorise every inch , every perfection and every flaw.
He watched her as she softy smiled up at Robin, watched her act as if she and her were the only two alive, watched her as she looked at Robin mesmerised.
Steve watched her , as she snuggled into the crook of Robin’s neck, and every single piece of him died.
22nd December 1986
Why would you ever kiss me?
I'm not even half as pretty
You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester
But you like her better
Wish I were Heather
The holiday rush was one of the reasons why Steve sometimes thought he’d rather be tied up by evil Russians or be beating the shit out of an ugly gloopy creature from the Upside Down instead of dealing with irritating customers who think they’re always right.
So when he was stacking misplaced tapes back onto their retrospective shelves , the last thing he needed was to see her walk through the Family Video entrance , at 7am on an already shitty morning , and greet Robin with a shy smile and a delicate kiss.
Steve’s heart clenched as she turned to face him , still in Robin’s embrace , and addressed him with niceties and a friendly smile.
He missed the days when things were easier with her , when he didn’t have to force or subdue any feelings, when they could just joke around each other. He missed the days when he didn’t feel like a shitty friend to Robin by harbouring a secret. He missed the days where she didn’t occupy every thought.
He knew he’d get over her soon enough , and he’d go back to teasing Robin about being lovesick and start feeling full again.
But he couldn’t help but let the overwhelming thoughts of her wash over him , for now.
He knew she would never kiss him , never touch him the way she touches Robin , and never look at him the way she looks at her.
Why would she?
Robin, despite her clumsy quirks , was smart , kind , beautiful - even her quirks were endearing- the whole package. There was a reason why Robin was Steve’s closest friend.
Steve knew he wasn’t even half as pretty as her, he knew he wouldn’t understand references from nerdy movies, he knew he was a dickhead when he was younger - one thing was bitterly clear , he would never amount to Robin in any way.
He also noticed Robin looked much better in her sweater than he did. Navy really did compliment the colour of Robin’s eyes, just like she said. Cheap polyester twisted the knife in his heart just a little bit more.
A shitty , resentful , and very unwanted part of him fleetingly wished he was Robin , just in that moment.
31st December 1986
Watch as she stands with her holding your hand
Put your arm 'round her shoulder, now I'm getting colder
But how could I hate her? She's such an angel
But then again, kinda wish she were dead…
He should’ve known it was a stupid idea to spend New Year’s eve in the explosion of cold , surrounded by the sound of teeth chattering and excited murmuring , waiting for the firework show. But Dustin , the little shit , insisted on him joining The Party and their families , spewing some lame excuse about having good experiences with fireworks this year.
He was wrong about that.
Because there she was , standing a few mere feet away , wrapped up in a thick woolly jumper , clasping Robin’s hand.
Once she noticed the drop in temperature and Robin’s lack of appropriate winter-wear , she pulled her into chest - arm hanging loose over Robin’s shoulders, giggling into her ears.
Steve couldn’t blame the sudden blast of cold hitting him on the weather.
He knew by the time Easter hit , he’d be long over this godforsaken crush , although for now - he couldn’t help but want to hate Robin , and he hated every part of himself for that.
Instead he’d let that gnarly part of him wonder what it would be like to be her ; to be able to kiss her , to hold her , to be loved by her.
… I wish I were Heather.