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what i wouldn't give

Chapter 15

Notes:

To be honest, this last chapter is mostly just... "Now what?" and an exploration of what happens next rather than any Big Things, but I hope it brings some closure nonetheless and is a good ending to everything

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

“Here.” Mitsuri held out a cup to Senjuro. “It’s more of Sanemi’s. You should drink it.” 

Senjuro blinked, and stared down at the cup. 

“It’s alright!” she assured him. “I know smelling it must be hard for you. It’s a special kind of blood that demons really like. It’s good for you. So go on, drink it.” 

That was the last encouragement he needed, and he snatched the cup from her to greedily gulp down the blood. 

Honestly, Kyojuro was beyond impressed that Senjuro had managed to hold it together through… everything that had just happened. He’d been a demon for barely a week, and had only a couple cups of blood to sustain him, and the entire time he’d been bleeding out, and the scent of Sanemi’s blood had been wafting around the room, he hadn’t slipped at all. 

Hell, Kyojuro could feel the saliva pooling in his own mouth over the smell of Sanemi’s blood, and he’d already had… Well, he didn’t really know how much, but he wasn’t exactly hungry anymore. It didn’t change how good it smelled though. 

“Where is Sanemi?” he asked. 

Mitsuri stood up straight with a sigh. “He’s outside. I think… I think he’s just having a hard time with this.” 

“He’s having a hard time?” Akaza demanded. “He’s the one who—!” 

Kyojuro took Akaza’s hand in an attempt to calm him down. “He was just doing his job. I’m not upset.” 

“Well I am! He killed you!” he snarled. “He was going to kill Senjuro!” 

“Yes…” Kyojuro could admit he wasn’t thrilled about the fact that Sanemi had been so quick to go for the kill without even allowing him to explain, but it was to be expected of him. And maybe he would have been willing to listen if Akaza hadn’t been here. 

But nothing could change what had just happened, and Sanemi was no longer trying to kill any of them, which for him was… a very big deal. Not to mention that he’d actually given them some of his blood. 

Mitsuri lingered awkwardly in the doorway of Kyojuro’s bedroom, her hands clasped behind her back as she examined the three of them. 

Kyojuro sighed and hung his head. “What are you going to do with us?” Just because the conflict had ended and none of them were trying to kill them didn’t mean it was all okay. Mitsuri, Shinobu, and Sanemi could not overlook something like this, and they were still trapped by the sun. 

All three of them were now, and Kyojuro hadn’t even had the time to fully process what he was yet. 

“We can’t pretend this never happened,” Mitsuri said. “I… I mean, we just can’t. Not when you…” She took a deep breath. “It’s not like you could show up to the next Hashira meeting as a demon. What… was your plan originally?” she asked. “You had to have had one, all things considered…” 

“We were going to run,” he admitted. “Tonight, actually. As soon as the sun set.” 

“Right. So even though you weren’t a demon, you were just going to disappear?” she asked. “Without even telling me goodbye?” 

“Mitsuri—” 

“You thought we would all just be okay with that!?” 

“Well what else was I supposed to do!?” he demanded. “Look at what just happened when you all found out what I’d done!” He gestured to the massive bloodstains on the floor. “And we’re lucky this didn’t end with all three of us dead!” A snarl rumbled through the room, and it took a moment for Kyojuro to realize it came from him, and not Akaza. 

“I… I understand that. Truly, I do. But I—” She stepped over the threshold. “I would have at least tried to listen, to let you explain. We’re best friends. You think I wouldn’t do that for you?” 

“I told you so,” Senjuro muttered. “I told you they would listen.” 

Kyojuro glared at his brother. Now was not the time for that. Especially now that he realized if he’d just tried talking with Mitsuri about at least part of this, maybe this all could have been avoided. 

“You never answered his question,” Akaza said as he pressed closer to him. “What are you planning to do now?” 

Mitsuri sighed and shook her head. “I’ve spoken with Shinobu and Sanemi about it. Like I said, we can’t completely pretend this never happened. We’ll be here until the sun sets, and then you run.” 

Kyojuro blinked. “What…?” 

“You run, and we’ll stay here for another hour,” she continued. “Then we’ll send word that we came to the Rengoku residence because we hadn’t heard from you in a while and were concerned. When we arrived, both you and Senjuro were gone, and we found evidence of a struggle, and copious amounts of blood, but no bodies.” 

“Mitsuri—” 

“No!” she shouted. “You listen to me! You run, and you stay far away! We talked about it, and maybe we could… maybe you and Senjuro would be spared because you’ve never killed any humans, but him?” She pointed to Akaza. “If he’s captured, he’ll be killed. Every Hashira will argue for that, Sanemi and Shinobu said they will as well. Even if he somehow broke free from Muzan, he was still an Upper Moon. But just this once… We’ll turn a blind eye, and pretend we never saw a damn thing. So make sure we don’t see him again, alright? This is the best we can do for you.” 

Kyojuro’s mouth fell open. They were really going to let them go…? 

“You expect me to believe that?” Akaza asked. “After the marechi did all of this?” 

Mitsuri clenched her fists. “Look, I know Sanemi is a piece of work, but if he said he would do something, he will. He won’t say anything. And if he does, I’ll—I’ll—” She raised her fists and scrunched up her nose in displeasure. “I’ll tell him I’ll cut his dick off!” 

Kyojuro nearly choked on his own damn spit, while Akaza burst out laughing. 

“You’ve—” Kyojuro shook his head. “You’ve been spending way too much time with him.” Because only Sanemi himself would come up with a threat like that.  

“Look, the point is, you have this chance to get away,” Mitsuri said. “And it would… probably be for the best if we didn’t see each other again. But…” Her eyes glossed over with tears. “If I ever got random letters that aren’t signed by anyone, or—or if sometimes certain demons passed through my region and stayed for a night, that would be okay with me.” 

Kyojuro stumbled forward and wrapped Mitsuri in a hug. “Thank you. Thank you.” 

Mitsuri buried her face in the crook of his neck, and squeezed him back. “Hey, I can hug you as tight as I can now and not worry about breaking something.” 

Kyojuro laughed, but the sound was cut off as she carried through and hugged him so tightly the breath was wrenched out of him. 

“You be safe,” she whispered. “And you keep that demon in line. And you… Please, just be happy, Kyojuro.” 

“Yeah, okay.” He thought he could at least manage that much. 

She pulled back and smiled. “Promise?” 

“Promise.” 


“This is… weird.” Kyojuro held his hands against his eyes. 

“Weird that you have two eyes?” Akaza asked. 

“Well, when you go over two years with one, yeah, it’s a bit weird.” Kyojuro shook his head and tossed the eyepatch off to the side. “Guess I don’t need that anymore, though.” 

“I’m not tired all the time anymore, and that’s weird, too,” Senjuro said. “I didn’t even know you weren’t supposed to be tired all the time.” 

Kyojuro smiled at him and ruffled his hair. “Have you got everything you want to bring? We can’t come back.” 

Senjuro nodded, and adjusted the bag on his shoulder. “Yeah. I’m ready.” 

It was a mild relief that with Sanemi’s blood, Senjuro seemed to have gotten completely back to his old self. Of course, Kyojuro would never, ever fault him for it or be upset that he couldn’t speak much, but it was nice being able to have actual conversations with him again. And he knew how frustrated Senjuro got when he hadn’t been able to get his words out properly. 

“Do you… want to try and tell Father goodbye?” he asked. 

Senjuro’s gaze fell to the floor, and he shook his head. 

“That’s fine,” Kyojuro assured him. “I’m not telling him goodbye either.” Partially because he didn’t want to, and he was going to do his best to listen to his mother and stop worrying so much about Shinjuro, but also because the less their father knew about what had just happened the better. There was the risk he could reach out to the Corps and tell them what he knew, so if he never knew Kyojuro was a demon himself… Well, that was for the best. 

Though he was fairly certain Mitsuri would threaten the man into silence if he ever attempted anything. 

They would disappear, and their father would never know for sure what had happened to them. 

Good. 

He’d never cared about them anyways, and if he actually did care in some way, he could spend the rest of his life wondering what the hell had happened to them. 

“Sun’s set,” Akaza said. “We should probably head out so we don’t test their patience anymore.” 

Tension Kyojuro hadn’t even realized was in his body began to flow out at the realization that the sun had gone down. And that… that would definitely take some getting used to. 

But now that the sun set, even if Sanemi and Shinobu attempted anything (which they wouldn’t, of that Kyojuro had no doubt), they were free to run and fight, which also helped settle his nerves. 

Shinobu waited on the engawa, one hand on the hilt of her sword. “Kyojuro.” She inclined her head. “It was an honor to serve as a Hashira with you, though I wish we could be parting on better terms. I’ll try not to let this tarnish my memory of you too terribly. And Senjuro…” Her normal, polite smile fell. “I am sorry I could not do more for you.” 

“It’s okay,” Senjuro assured her. “Because we got Akaza from this.” 

Shinobu’s eyes widened, and she turned away, while Akaza muttered, “Gods above, kid,” though his exasperated tone couldn’t contend with his small smile. 

“Get the hell out of here,” Shinobu said. “Remember. One hour, and then we send a report. Slayers will be crawling the area. For both your sake and theirs—” She glared towards Akaza. “Be gone by then.” 

“We will be,” Kyojuro promised. 

“And I better not ever come across reports of demons harming people matching any of your descriptions. Do not make me regret this.” She turned her back to them. “Go.” 

Kyojuro knew better than to try assuring her that none of them were going to hurt innocent people, so he merely nodded and walked down the steps, Akaza and Senjuro trailing after him. 

Sanemi and Mitsuri stood across the garden. Tears poured down Mitsuri’s cheeks as she waved them off, and while Kyojuro would have liked to give her another hug, they’d said their goodbyes, and given the way she clutched Sanemi’s hand, she might be the only thing keeping him grounded. 

The Wind Hashira refused to look at them, his grimace even more fearsome than usual, but Kyojuro saw the blood-stained bandages on his wrist, and decided that he’d done more than enough to make up for what he’d done today. 

He wished he could have some semblance of a goodbye with the other Hashira, and Oyakata-sama, but this would have to do. 

“You okay?” Akaza asked as he took his hand. 

“Yeah.” Kyojuro leaned against him. “I am. Let’s get going.” 


“My mother said to thank you.” 

Akaza blinked himself awake, and sat up straight so he wasn’t leaned against Kyojuro’s shoulder to doze off. “What?” 

Kyojuro shifted, angling himself a little closer to the fire, and bringing one arm up to wrap around Akaza’s shoulders. “When I was dying. Looking back on it, it might have all been some elaborate fever dream, but…” He shook his head. “I like to think it was actually her. She said to thank you.” 

“Why would she tell you to thank me?” Akaza asked. It was his fault all of that had happened. If he hadn’t been there—

“She said for finding us,” he said. “Me and Senjuro. I think she knew you did far more than just save Senjuro’s life. She said she wished she could have actually met you.” 

Akaza hummed, and could admit it was a nice thought that at least one of Kyojuro’s parents was not only a decent human being, but actually approved of him. Not that he needed approval from anyone to care about Kyojuro, but he knew how much his mother had meant to him. 

Whether it had all been an intensive dream or not, it was something nice to hold onto. 

“She said…” Kyojuro held him tighter. “She said I could come with her, or I could go back, that the choice was mine. And I knew if I woke up again, it would be as a demon. You didn’t force anything on me, Akaza.” 

“Death being the other option isn’t much of a choice,” he argued. 

“I’d already chosen to die when I got in front of Senjuro,” he said. “It wasn’t like that. I just—I don’t want you to think I didn’t want this. I’m glad I get to be with you, and that I can better protect Senjuro and understand him like this.” 

Across the fire, Senjuro curled up beneath his blankets, sleeping soundly, safely.  

“If you’re sure…” Akaza relented. 

“Well, I’ve got a long time to convince you,” Kyojuro teased. “What else do we have to do?” 

“I guess that’s true.” It’d been a week since they’d left the Rengoku estate, and no slayers had caught onto their trail, so Mitsuri, Shinobu, and Sanemi must have kept their word. After putting a bit more distance between them, they could start looking for somewhere more permanent to stay, so they didn’t have to keep dragging Senjuro all over the place. 

“Nothing from Muzan?” Kyojuro asked. 

Akaza shook his head. “You?” 

“No.” 

They didn’t know why Kyojuro never seemed to have a connection with Muzan to begin with, but Akaza certainly wasn’t going to complain about it. Maybe it was because by the time Akaza’s blood contaminated him, he’d been in the midst of breaking his own connection with him. But if that theory was true, the same did not extend to Senjuro, so they needed to find some way to sever that connection before Muzan realized it and decided to hurt Senjuro to get at them. 

It was a terrifying thought, but not one they could do anything about themselves. Either Senjuro would break the connection on his own, or… 

“Have you heard back from Tanjiro?” Akaza asked. 

“Not yet, but I’m sure we will soon,” Kyojuro said. “He’s likely just caught up with slayer work.” 

“Mm…” Akaza laid his head against Kyojuro’s shoulder once more. “I’m glad you got to speak with your mother.” 

“Me too.” 

“And you’re… really okay with this?” he asked. 

Kyojuro smiled, fangs glinting in the firelight. “Yeah.” He pressed a soft kiss to the top of Akaza’s head. “Yeah, I am.” 

Akaza sighed, and let his eyes slip closed. 


“Rengoku!” Tanjiro waved his arm over his head as he ran towards them, a bright smile on his face. “It’s good to see you! I’m glad you’re all well!” 

Nezuko trailed after him, far less animated, but she waved as well. 

Kyojuro felt a little bad that the siblings had to travel so far to meet with them, but it’d barely been three weeks since… the incident, and they needed to stay as far away as possible from places frequented by slayers. 

But he returned the boy’s smile all the same. “And you as well, young Kamado! Hello, Nezuko!” 

Nezuko tilted her head as she approached, likely confused over the three demons who waited for them, but she did little more than press closer to Tanjiro. 

“Hey, brat,” Akaza greeted as he crossed his arms. 

“I knew you could do it!” Tanjiro exclaimed as he pointed at Akaza. “No kanji!” 

“No kanji,” Akaza confirmed. 

Tanjiro’s smile brightened. “That’s wonderful! Hi, Senjuro!” 

Kyojuro stepped aside and nudged his brother forward. There was no point in him trying to hide what he was from Tanjiro, the slayer did not care at all. 

“Hi…” Senjuro mumbled. “Thanks, for uh, for coming to meet us all the way out here.” 

“Oh, it’s no trouble,” he assured them. “I’ve got time before my next mission, I’ve mostly been dealing with promotion stuff—” 

“Promotion?” 

“Oh! Oh, um…” Tanjiro awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. “Guess I’m a Hashira now. I honestly can’t really believe it myself. I mean, I guess I have killed plenty of demons, and there was when Inosuke and I killed the Lower Moon back at the train, so I am technically qualified? I guess? But—” 

Kyojuro laughed and patted his shoulder to cut off his rambling. “That’s wonderful! You’re more than qualified for the position at this point! You’re more than a worthy replacement for me!” 

Akaza scoffed, but Kyojuro was quick to elbow him in the side. 

“I-I’m not replacing you!” Tanjiro hurried to say with a wave of his hands. “The Corps is still looking for you! Um, you’re… you’re technically considered MIA, I think. No one really knows what happened. Well, I do, Kanroji told me after I asked and we both realized we knew, you know?” He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. I think they’re considering promoting Kanao to Hashira as well. Kocho’s pushing for it. Almost like… like she knows no one is going to find you.” 

“That’s good!” Kyojuro wanted nothing more than for the Corps to continue on like normal in his absence. 

“Yeah… Demons have been getting a lot more active since… Well, since you disappeared, but I’m guessing that might be something to do with you, huh?” Tanjiro asked Akaza. 

“Yeah, I doubt Muzan was thrilled that I was able to break free,” he said. “Lots of demons are probably vying for an Upper Moon spot now, and gods know how Muzan is reacting.” 

Tanjiro nodded. “Kanroji and I are being sent to the swordsmiths’ village to investigate some things, so I’ll keep that in mind. But I think that’s all that’s really going on. What did you want to meet with me for?” 

Kyojuro and Akaza exchanged a glance. 

“We want to meet with Tamayo,” Kyojuro said. Of course, they did not need her help showing Akaza how to break free of Muzan’s control, but they needed to be sure Senjuro had no connection with him. And if she really could modify them to only need small quantities of blood, the sooner that was done the better. Sanemi’s blood was enough to tide him and Senjuro over for far longer than they’d expected, but the hunger was creeping back, and Kyojuro still wasn’t sure if he could ever eat a human, even one of Akaza’s prey choices. 

“Oh, of course!” Tanjiro exclaimed. “I’ll contact her and see what we can do. I’m sure she’ll be more than willing to work with you, and be intrigued to meet another demon who broke free from Muzan like her.” 

“Mmhm!” Nezuko nodded enthusiastically. 

“Thank you, Kamado,” Kyojuro said. “Truly. I know… I know that even speaking with us can put you in a dangerous position.” 

“It’s alright,” he assured him. “I’m just glad you’re all okay. Even you, Akaza.” 

Akaza rolled his eyes, but said, “Thanks, kid.” 

Kid, not brat. 

Kyojuro smiled. 


“Hey, Kyojuro.” 

“Hm…?” Kyojuro opened his eyes to look up at Akaza, though he refused to move from where his head rested in his lap while he carded his fingers through his hair. 

“After we meet with this Tamayo, then what?” he asked. “I… I always just assumed I would always be working for Muzan. But if her experiments work, what are we supposed to do then?” 

“Oh… I don’t know,” he said. “I’m sure we’ll figure it out. Maybe… Maybe we could find where you lived as a human,” he suggested. “It’s still coming back, right?” 

“Slowly… I remember Koyuki. Keizo. But the details are still fuzzy.” He knew remembering them hurt, but he also knew he needed to remember them. 

“You’ll get there,” Kyojuro assured him. “Maybe visiting would help.” 

“Maybe.” 

“But like I said, the three of us will figure it out. So long as we’re together.” 

Together… Yeah, that was more than alright. 

“I love you,” Akaza said. 

Kyojuro smiled. “I love you, too, Akaza!”

Notes:

I just wanna thank everyone who's read this fic! Honestly, I think it's one of the best responses I've ever gotten to one, and I'm so glad so many people enjoyed it, and all your comments always made my days brighter and encouraged me to work on it often, so once again, thank you! <3

Post this fic, our little demon family stays with Tamayo for a while, and Senjuro is very carefully freed from any connection to Muzan, and all three of them are willing to undergo Tamayo's tests and procedures to be modified to only need small amounts of blood (moderately risky process, but they all pull through).
Everything goes down in swordsmith village like in canon, and the rest of the series events follow suite. Basically, after Akaza's betrayal, Muzan goes after the slayers with a *vengeance,* so things spring back into action very easily. Also during the final battle, Kyojuro and Akaza absolutely post up to help fight Muzan. As far as if that changes any outcomes or prevents more deaths... well, I'll leave that up to you

If you liked this fic, you can check out my other multi-chap Renkaza fic here! (Admittedly, much *much* darker than this one though, so go in with some trepidation lol)

I also recently started a complete role reversal AU with all the slayers as demons and vice versa (which will eventually feature some Renkaza when I get there lol) which you can check out here if that sounds interesting :D

And then on top of all this, I do have another tentative multi-chap Renkaza fic in the works. I am not sure when it will be posted, as it's not even finished being outlined which I like to do before getting things written/posted, but it is coming eventually! I have a few shorter JJK fics I wanna wrap up first, and a Grimmichi fic for Bleach to finish first too (you know, literally Renkaza in a different font, down to the villain with cannibalistic tendencies, an insane lust for battle, signature move is punching holes through protagonists, has his rank tattooed on him and serves at the whims of a harsh leader and oh my god Akaza is a Grimmjow kinnie lmfao). Anyways, point is! Definitely more Renkaza on the way, just not sure of when exactly yet.

One more time, thank you to everyone who read this fic, and an even bigger thanks to anyone who has left a nice comment, I'm glad you all enjoyed it so much <3

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