Chapter Text
Her eyes wandered from row to row, concentrated. Moving slowly with the arms behind her back, Suki made sure that each component of the row had assumed the correct position. She wore a smirk, under the city sun, content to see the security advances come to life as the days went by.
It had been two months since she had started training the new non-bender police force and she was pleased to see how quickly they learned, always eager to learn new techniques.
Some of her sisters had joined her in Cranefish Town, as promised; while others remained at the royal palace, and with all that progress made, it was clear that it was only a matter of time before they left. The Kyoshi Warriors and, consequently, her too. That thought left a bitter taste in her mouth.
It was fun teaching, and it had been a long time since last time. She liked doing it at home, on Kyoshi Island, and she liked doing it there. Suki found it satisfying and fulfilling. Not to mention the expression of joy that took shape on the faces of her students, as soon as the awareness of having made a move correctly reached them. The respect with which they looked at her and the friendships she had made with them, and she had to admit they were really good. Furthermore, the city was still in turmoil and there was no shortage of opportunities for her to take action and for her students to immediately put into practice what they had learned.
Not that serving as the Fire Lord's bodyguard wasn't nearly as satisfying. Without distinction, she always tried to give her best in any task she was assigned. She was aware that her role at the royal palace was just as important but, sometimes, she wondered if she was doing it again. As had happened during the war, on Kyoshi Island; before she met Aang and the others, she felt like she was locked up in a bubble. Standing still in the same place again, seemed wrong.
The war was over, but there were still many problems to be solved. She didn't understand politics and she gladly left that task to whoever was responsible but, looking at Cranefish Town, she couldn't help but wonder if other cities were in the same situation. How many other cities needed help.
She cared about Zuko, and that had helped to make her task of protecting him less arduous but, fortunately, her intervention wasn't always required at the palace and she often found herself listening to speeches by important men made to other important men. Not exactly as exciting as the action on the street.
Plus, being friends with the Fire Lord had its disadvantages too. Like Zuko's insistence on not needing all that protection, or at least not always, and his asking her to take days off even if not required. When that happened, Suki couldn't stop herself from getting nervous. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate the friend's concern for her but, exactly as she had told Sokka years ago, she was perfectly capable of taking care of herself and knowing when her body needed to rest.
She would never agree to take a break, unless extremely necessary. Perhaps, that was the price to paid for having to become leader of the Kyoshi Warriors when she was still just a teenager. For that being all she had known since she was eight. Always looking for a new form of adrenaline, to not bear her body being still for too long, looking for the frenzy of fight.
She wondered if sooner or later, with the passage of time, that search would diminish until disappeared. She hoped so. She felt dirty every time she recognized that feeling rising in the back of her mind. She should have been glad that for some time no one had tried to break into the royal palace, yet her body didn't seem to understand it.
Or maybe, it was just her way of keeping her mind busy. She still liked to have fun when she wasn't on duty but, at night, she felt like she was constantly waiting. As if she was waiting for something to come and destabilize the peace they had fought so hard for. For this reason she hadn't felt like judging Zuko during his breakdown in the first few months as the Fire Lord, with his fear that there was a killer around every corner, but she had stayed close to him as best she could.
She had never found the courage to ask the other warriors if they felt that way too. What if she found out that was just her, if they didn't understand? Maybe there was something wrong with her.
The only reasons she strayed from the royal palace were to come home from time to time, just long enough to ensure that the recruitment and teaching of the new Kyoshi Warriors were progressing well, and her meetings with Sokka. That was the other reason why she got nervous when Zuko asked her to go, because a part of her was always tempted to let him win and run wherever her boyfriend was at that moment. But it wasn't fair, and so she never did.
Sadly, Suki realized that Sokka's presence in Cranefish Town greatly affected her being so reluctant to leave. He would still stayed there, while she wouldn't.
Stupid, she told herself. What was she thinking?
Before starting her relationship with Sokka, she had always promised herself that no hypothetical boyfriend would ever get between her and her duty, with or without war. It had been like that and it still was. Before him, however, she had never felt this way towards anyone.
Sokka respected her and he was impressed with her work, and she was eternally grateful for it, but that didn't mean that it made things easier.
Their going their separate ways was certainly nothing new. She knew that the day of her departure would come, sooner or later, because that was how it worked between them. It had been like this since the day they decided to continue their relationship, despite the distance. They didn't have to think about it much, actually, it had been a completely natural choice but it had been still nice to hear it, grateful that they shared the same desire. They would never have been able to put aside what they had lived and shared during the war but, above all, they would never have been able to ignore what they felt for each other. They both knew it.
She had always known that what bound them was a deep feeling, that what she felt for him wasn't something fleeting or light. Not a simple crush, but something that lasts over time. Suki had no doubt that it was love. She understood that years ago.
They said it every time they had the opportunity, through gestures. In the way they looked at each other, in not being ashamed to show their vulnerability and gain strength when they watched each other’s back, in the warmth of the tone that he reserved only for her and in the smile that she reserved only for him, through kisses and caresses, during their moments of passion.
Despite the difficulties, neither of them had ever asked the other to stay or go, well aware of their roles and their duty, in those four years of half-way meetings.
She was very proud of what he was doing too, of his travels to help Aang rebuild a world out of war and of the meetings they held in the city. She had had occasion to listen some of his speeches, from time to time, in his room at the inn where they were staying. When he was so caught up in mulling that he didn't notice he was reading it aloud, making some changes, or when he deliberately recited it in front of her to see if it worked. She felt very honored, in those moments.
She had always thought that Sokka was an intelligent and clever man. He had already proven to be a skilled warrior and strategist, revealing to be a multi-faceted person. Suki was constantly curious to discover new ones, and to see how else he wanted to put his mind at the service of others.
Foolishly, during the first months of their relationship, she had thought that she could even get used to all the times they would have to separate but, instead, each time was more and more painful than the last. They couldn't even say it, 'goodbye'. It was just a word, saying it or not wouldn't change the fact that they would have to separate soon ; yet, not saying it seemed even comforting.
She was aware that, this time, it was going to be devastating. They had never been together this long, before they had to go their seperate ways again. Not that it would change much. Just being able to see him for a few moments was enough for her to get back in a good mood and make her knees tremble as soon as he left but, after getting used to finding him next to her in the morning and in the night when she went to sleep for two whole months, it would be hard get back to normal. With those little, fleeting dates of their, when they both had a few free minutes. Sometimes, they were moments so brief that she wasn't sure she could call them such; yet, she didn't care. She loved each of those moments.
She thought back to the day they met on the street, she with her sisters; at the end of a lesson, and he accompanied by Aang returning from a business council meeting. She had simply smiled at him as she continued walking, aware that neither of them could stop but as soon as she passed him, she felt someone tap on her shoulder. She had turned and found a white peony just a breath from her face. Instinctively she had taken it, before looking up at Sokka who had shown her a pleased smile in front of her surprised expression. He had approached to place a kiss on her cheek and then, as if nothing had happened, he had reached Aang a little further and disappeared into the crowd.
Suki smiled at the memory. She had never thought of being a flower girl but, maybe, it just depended on who was giving them.
Sokka never gave her the opportunity to forget how romantic he was, and she never missed the opportunity to show him how much she appreciated his every gesture. Big or small.
She put a hand to her face and rubbed her eyes slowly, sighing.
"One more!" She ordered aloud so that she could be heard even from the back of the line, taking a few steps away to get a clear view of what was in front of her.
She took a deep breath as she watched the officers repeat the movement, until she heard a familiar voice calling her from afar.
"Ty Lee." Suki greeted her, turning to her, noticing how her bright smile had started to fade as their eyes met. She frowned. "What happened?"
Ty Lee shook her head, raising the hands to try to reassure her, once she reached her. "Nothing happened, I just wanted to ask you if everything was alright."
Suki raised an eyebrow. "What?"
She and Ty Lee were spending a lot of time together by now, not only because they were Zuko's primary bodyguards but also during their free time, yet she still remained a mystery more often than not. Despite their differences, Suki enjoyed her company and her cheerfulness put her in a good mood. Even with those strange questions all of a sudden, it was hard to get bored with her.
"Your aura is a little blue." She said, making a face.
"I like blue." Suki murmured, still confused.
"But that means you're mulling over something, like a lot."
And then there were those moments, when it seemed impossible to be able to hide something from her.
Suki blinked. "Oh."
She saw Ty Lee approach her, bringing her hand to the corner of the mouth as if to confide a secret. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yes, I'm sure," Suki whispered in turn, leaning towards her to indulge her "but thank you."
Ty Lee took a few steps away but from the expression she had assumed, Suki realized that she hadn't been able to convince her.
She bit her tongue and let her gaze wander over the figure of her friend. She wore the Kyoshi Warrior uniform. Suki had noticed that she often had a tendency to pull it from the fabric of the collar as if she were suffocating, or to rub her arms as if it were itchy, and she wondered if she still bothered the idea to dress all alike; with the exception of the headgear to indicate the rank.
"What about you?" She asked, catching her gaze again. "How do you feel about going home?"
"Great!" Ty Lee exclaimed clapping her hands, as a smile returned to her lips. "I can't wait. My curiosity has been completely satisfied and I miss Mai so much."
Suki smiled, satisfied with the answer. She should have known. If there was one thing she had learned about the former acrobat it was that she cared a lot about her friendships. So, It wasn't a surprise that she was enthusiastic at the idea of returning to the royal palace, where her whole life and one of her closest friends were.
She still remembered the first time she had taken Ty Lee to the dojo, to train her with the new Kyoshi Warriors and to learn from her how to chi-block. Ty Lee had stopped in the middle of the lesson and asked her if they were friends. Suki had been surprised but considering all she had been through, she didn't blame her for wanting confirmation. Then she had smiled at her and had told her they were much more than that, they were sisters. Ty Lee had looked away as a small smile took shape on her face. Different from the usual, but sincere.
Suki raised her head squinting, as the sun's rays hit her. It was high in the sky, with no cloud to cover it. Probably, it was almost lunchtime.
"Alright," she called her students to attention, with the same vigor as before "let's take a break."
A murmur rose as soon as she said it and while they wiped the sweat and joked with each other, she turned back to her friend. "When do we leave?"
Ty Lee shrugged. "You are the leader."
She nodded. She would ask the other girls what they thought, or if they had any unfinished business before returning to the royal palace. Even though she was the leader, she enjoyed confrontation with her sisters and was always ready to hear what they had to say. She had always given them the freedom of choice, even when they disagreed, as had happened when she announced that she wanted to leave the island and some of them had decided to not follow her.
Suki smiled at her. "You should go to rest too."
"Aren't you coming to eat with us?"
“Oh, no, sorry. I," she chuckled, pointing absently behind her "I have to go."
Ty Lee gave her a sly smile, before humming. "Sure."
Suki frowned, but she didn't inquire. She was tired and she couldn't wait to reach a place in the shade. Her mind was already elsewhere, lost in fantasizing about the moment she would go up to the room.
She said goodbye to the others and walked towards the main street, unable to stop the smile that was born on her lips.
Ty Lee called her again, rousing her from her thoughts. When she turned around, she found her with one arm raised waving it left and right to draw attention to herself.
"Say hello to Sokka for me." She screamed, causing some of the officers to turn towards them.
Suki blushed, giving her a dirty look that seemed to have no effect on her friend. She shook her head and decided to ignore her, quickening her pace as she heard a laughter echoing behind her.
o o o
She let her gaze focused on the door of the inn as soon as she stopped in front of the entrance. It was located in one of the streets most affected by the revolt, still under reconstruction after the attacks of Liling's supporters.
There was still tension between the benders themselves and the non-benders and although the citizens of Cranefish Town had refused their help in the past, it seemed like a good idea to help the local economy, at least a little. Also, it was easier to monitor the situation that way, compared to staying in a high-class neighborhood. No more unnecessary luxuries, much to her boyfriend's disappointment, but it was worth it.
Toph had decided to continue spending the nights in her father's quarters, even though she spent her days at the inn with them. Toph had never been the kind of person to care about that kind of thing; she had even seen her sleep on the floor in the past, and Suki suspected she was only doing it to spite Sokka and brag about it the next morning. Suki had to admit, it was kind of funny.
She looked around. The street was crowded; full of workers repairing houses and buildings nearby, while the markets had reopened their businesses and the chatter of passers-by echoed in the street. Everything seemed calm, and it was nice to see that the city was trying to recover little by little.
She entered and ignored the eyes that she felt on her from some customers, still on the threshold, and greeted the innkeeper behind the counter, which she reciprocated with a slight nod. Suki passed the tables and headed for the stairs to go upstairs, where the rooms were.
They had rented three, one for the girls; one for Sokka and one last for Aang. This arrangement allowed her to sneak out of the room, as soon as Katara fell asleep, to spend the night with Sokka. Suki had no idea what lie he had told Aang to get him to take a separate room, but she wasn't even sure she wanted to know.
Neither of them wanted to waste the opportunity to spend more time together and moreover he would never allow his sister and her boyfriend to sleep in the same room, like a good older brother; in his opinion. Although Aang was one of his closest friends, there was a limit to what he could endure during their travels.
She felt her heartbeat speed up as she approached the door of Sokka's room. It didn't matter how much time has passed, she could still feel the butterflies in her stomach.
She knocked and waited for an answer before making her entrance. But when she crossed the threshold, the smile died on her lips.
She was amazed to find the room upside down, with clothes and objects that Sokka carried on his travels scattered around, including the typical Water Tribe helmet that he had finally managed to buy and which he had shown her with such pride. Not that Sokka was a maniac of order, but he was certainly an organized type. Perhaps, between the two, she was the more disorderly and she had been used since childhood, in the dojo, to keep all her personal effects in their place; from weapons to the most futile object. Suki found it funny, considering that it was the exact opposite way of how he slept.
Making her gaze wander around the room, the open wardrobe and the emptied drawers were the first thing that caught her eye. On the bed, instead, there was a half-empty bag and a couple of sacks already filled. What seemed a nervous chuckle to her, drew her attention and she noticed that Sokka had frozen in place with a blanket in his hand. He looked at her in surprise, as if he didn't expect to see her.
Suki took a few steps, leaving the door open, and gave a hint of a smile.
"Hey." She said, trying to use a neutral tone of voice as much as possible.
"Hey." He followed suit, throwing the blanket on the mattress distractedly to get closer to her. "Sorry, I lost track of time."
"Don't worry." She reassured him. At the moment, there was another matter that she wanted to know more about. "You're leaving."
Sokka sighed, raising his hands up to caress her arms gently. “Yes, my father sent a letter. I'm going home for a while."
For a while , she thought, not a specific date. It wasn't a good sign.
Suki nodded, clutching his tunic in response to the gesture. Instinctively, looking for a contact as well.
She looked away to turn her gaze to the table in the center of the room, where there was the white peony he had given her, placed on a vase. She herself had decided to leave it in his room, not only because it was where she spent the most of the time and occasionally she liked to observe it, but also to keep it away from prying eyes. As much as she adored Katara, she didn't want to be teased every time her eyes landed on it or risk that Toph flying it out the window while she was intent on destroying the room when she got bored.
"When?" She asked, not quite understanding how she felt about it. It was a bit sudden. That wasn't how she thought they were going to separate, she thought she would be the one to leave first. Her brain had to process the news.
"Tomorrow morning." Sokka replied, in a small voice. Then, he made a face. “Urgh, I didn't mean to tell you like this. I just found out, too."
Suki gave a chuckle and looked back at him. "It's fine. I'm leaving in a few days too, remember?"
He rolled his eyes, before meeting hers again. “Yes, but I could have organized my schedule better. We could have gone out like in a real date, before leaving, and instead here we are!"
A familiar warmth expanded in her chest as soon as she heard it, and she had to bite her lower lip to keep from letting out a lament. It was sweet and it would have been a lie if she said that the idea of it left her indifferent, but she knew that Sokka felt genuinely bad about it and she didn't want to make things worse in any way.
"Calm down, planner boy." She tried to play down, tapping with her palm on his chest in a playful way a couple of times, satisfied to see him hint at a smile. “I would have liked it too. Maybe next time."
"Yeah, next time." He whispered and Suki's heart sank as she recognized the sadness in his tone.
Spirits, she would have done anything to make it disappear. Bottle up that pain and throw it away, but even she knew that feeling all too well. Sometimes, even she didn't know how to handle it.
"Come here." Sokka added, gently pulling her into a hug.
She let herself be embraced, feeling melt immediately as soon as he brought her close to him. He held her tight as he brought a hand through her hair, causing her shiver. Suki loved when he held her in his arms like that, running his fingers through her locks. They had that strange power of giving her the impression that she was learning to breathe again, no matter in what situation. Even when he had hugged her inside her cell at the Boiling Rock, years ago.
"Are you staying here, tonight?" He asked her, a whisper from her ear.
"Of course." She answered, without hesitation, running a hand up and down his back.
Suki heard him breathe a sigh of relief, as he let himself be lulled by her caresses, and she moved away to look him in the face with affection before placing her lips on his cheek. He smiled, squeezing her side gently. When their eyes met again, they met halfway in a kiss.
It was slow and demanding at the same time, and Suki raised her hands up to encircled his neck with her arms so that she could feel him as close as possible. Sokka let his other arm fall slowly along her body, taking opportunity to pass his palm along her curves, until it encircles her hips, driven by the same desire as her.
He parted his lips, and everything seemed perfect to her. As if, suddenly, it was easy not to think of the world outside those walls, as if they were the only ones. Alone, in that room.
The two broke away to catch their breath but Sokka continued to steal quick kisses on her lips, making her giggle. Suki turned her head in an attempt to pull herself together, with poor results, laughing louder when she received a long, noisy kiss on her cheek in response to her gesture.
“Hey, Sokka—whops.”
On hearing Aang's voice, Suki quickly moved away with her back still to the door as she put a hand to her face as soon as she felt her cheeks heat up.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt, the door is open and I thought..." He stammered, embarrassed.
Sokka cleared his throat, interrupting his friend's muttering, and she turned to face him.
"It's alright, Aang, don't worry." She reassured him, smiling. "I was just about to leave."
Suki shifted her gaze to Sokka, reaching out a hand towards his. "I'll wait for you downstairs."
He nodded and tightened the grip and she couldn't help but notice the way he hesitated to let her go, as she began to walk away.
She gave Aang a quick nod and passed him, leaving the room. She hurried down the corridor and reached the stairs, stopping halfway up the flight of steps.
You already knew that , she repeated to herself, seeking comfort . You'll be fine, focus on your duties.
She took a deep breath through the nose and let it out of the mouth, as if she was trying to catch her breath after a grueling exercise. She fought against the urge to turn around and she went down the remaining steps.
o o o
"... And then they made such a fuss for nothing, they continued to reject every proposal and nobody wanted to take responsibility for their own decisions."
Suki listened carefully to Sokka's outburst, squeezing his hand resting on the mattress.
They were lying in bed, in their little ritual that they had promised to keep during those months. Every night, when finally free from any commitment, no matter how tired, they had made it a habit to telling each other how the day went or what they had done since the last time they met.
He made their fingers intertwine and continued. "There is still so much to do. I know I'll come back here with Aang, sooner or later."
She saw him look down for a moment. Illuminated only by the light coming from outside, he looked at her from above with his head resting on his fist and the sheets that covered him from the waist down.
"It seems harsh." She murmured. Every time Sokka told her about the discussions that arose at those meetings, she couldn't help but visualize the image of a person talking to a wall or to an angry crowd of people intent on covering their ears so as not to listen. Apparently, politicians enjoyed complaining so much but not really struggling to make anything change. It must have been frustrating. “You have nothing to blame yourself for. You have proposed all great ideas."
“I know,” he sighed, then smiled, “but thanks. I care about your opinion, you know."
"Of course," Suki smiled back "as the other non-bender member of the team."
Sokka frowned. “No, I mean, yes. You understand me and you know what I would like to say, but it's not just that." He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it. "I care because it's you."
Suki opened her mouth and then closed it again, taken aback by that statement. It had never occurred to her that there could be another reason why he wanted her to listen to his speeches. The thought made her miss a heartbeat.
Taking advantage of the proximity of her hand to his face, she caressed his cheek as he closed his eyes to enjoy the cuddle. "You're adorable and you don't even know it."
Sokka gave her a sly smile, before shaking his head slightly, making his loose hair move and placing his free hand on his knee to strike a pose. "I'm sorry, but I think you meant handsome."
"No, I used the correct word." She laughed, reaching up to give him a quick kiss. "But luckily for you, you can be adorable and handsome at the same time."
Sokka laughed in turn and, when Suki rested her head on the pillow again, he turned to her and said, "Your turn."
"Nothing new, really." She sighed, then thought about it. "Well, I think the officers are ready. I taught them the basics and they will teach them to anyone who joins the police, when I leave. They are really good."
"I don't find it hard to believe, with such an extraordinary teacher." He said, proudly.
"Thank you." Suki whispered, moving closer as she held the sheet tight to her chest. It was still strange to hear someone, her boyfriend, talk about her with such pride. It was embarrassing, but nice. She probably would never get used to that.
"I know what I'm talking about." He added, drawing her attention.
That's right. She had taught to Sokka too in the past, at the dojo. She found herself thinking about how many things had changed since then, how much they had learned from each other. He that the girls could also be warriors and that in order to be leaders someone didn't necessarily have to give up on themself, on adolescence, even allowing themself to have fun every now and then; and she that there was a world outside the island and that their choice to remain isolated had consequences.
She never thought it would end that way. In bed, half naked, with that boy who had even dared to challenge her. But she had begun to hope for it, when she had had the opportunity to know him better and that has been the first time she had desired something that wasn't related to her duties, to being a warrior and to the will of the Avatar Kyoshi. She was there now, in love and loved, but unsure of what the next step to take on her path would be.
It was funny, but it even seemed that the eight-year-old girl she had once been had clearer ideas than she was. She had always thought that being a Kyoshi Warrior would protect her from the uncertainty of the future.
"Too bad that you're leaving without being able to give the city a new name." Suki hummed, sensing the desire to want to be distracted.
"I know, right?" Sokka exclaimed. "They rejected those too and they were all great names."
"Oh, I know, I read that list." She smiled. “They were all very… creative. They simply don't understand your artistic streak."
His face lit up. "Exactly!" Then he stopped, squinting. "Wait, are you making fun of me?"
Suki shook her head, giggling. "No."
"Yes, you are." Sokka retorted, feigning offense. "You know what happens to traitors."
She saw him bending over her and couldn't help but laugh, now, when she saw a mischievous smile rise on his lips. And yes; she knew very well what was about to happen but, despite that, Suki didn't even move when his hands slipped under the sheets to reach her hips.
"Get ready to taste my fearsome tickle-bending!"
As soon as Sokka's fingers ran on her bare skin, she couldn't contain the laughter that echoed around the room. She squirmed, as his laughter joined hers, letting her mind go blank.
"Enough, enough," she said, with tears in her eyes "you'll end up waking everyone."
"Me?"
"Yes," Suki replied, although they both knew that if only she wanted to, she could easily escape that punishment "yes, you."
Sokka slowed his movements to a complete stop, and when her laughter began to subside, he placed his lips on her forehead.
"You're beautiful."
She made their eyes meet. "Yeah?"
"Yeah." He repeated, bending down to kiss her.
It was a chaste but sweet kiss, full of affection. It reminded her of one of the first they had exchanged, as if he were trying to study her again, as if he were trying to assimilate every detail so as not to forget it.
"I'll miss your laugh." Sokka whispered, still a breath from her lips.
Suki's expression softened, raising an arm to stroke his hair. She led him down gently, until he was lying completely on top of her and his breath tickled her neck.
"I'll miss the way you make me laugh."
She felt his smile on her skin and she resumed her caresses, while with the other hand she ran her fingers up and down his shoulder.
"Mmh." Sokka murmured. "If you don't stop, I'll fall asleep."
Suki laughed. "And is it bad?"
"If I fall asleep, the morning will come faster." He mumbled, clearly drowsy.
"You will regret it tomorrow." She laughed again, feeling her eyelids getting heavy as well.
"I'll sleep on Appa."
"Uncomfortable." Suki considered. "So, Toph and Aang are going with you and Katara?"
“Nah, Toph is busy with her academy and Aang, I don't know, he will take us home but I don't know if he intends to stay. He is still worried about what Liling told him even though the situation doesn't seem that bad, at least for now."
She had no difficulty in believing it. Hold political debates; as much as Aang didn't like them, were one thing but another war? None of them wanted it to happen.
Suki didn't answer and silence filled the room, so much so that she thought Sokka had fallen asleep until he spoke again. "Do you think my father wants to talk to me about the idea of taking his place, someday?"
She blinked several times, trying to recover from half-sleep, in an attempt to be as lucid as possible to address the subject. Surprised by that sudden question.
She found herself unable to find an answer, so she asked, "Do you think this might be a possibility?"
"After everything that happened the last time I was there, maybe."
Suki knew what he was referring to. Sokka had told her how much the Southern Water Tribe had changed, not only because it had become a real city, but also because of the conflicts that had arisen. She still couldn't believe that his father had been stabbed and had risked dying, moreover by the one who had once been his brother in arms.
Maybe it was due to the fact that he was half asleep, but Suki couldn't understand how Sokka felt about it. By his tone of voice, he had sounded hopeful but also scared.
She swallowed, and couldn't stop the question that had sprung up in her throat. "Would you like it?"
Suki waited, keeping her gaze intently on the ceiling. The darkness made difficult for her from focusing on it, forcing her to blink several times.
The South Pole was far away but, after all, what would have changed? Theirs was already a long-distance relationship. She found herself smiling, bitterly, when a thought crossed her mind. It was ironic, but Kyoshi Island was closer to the Southern Water Tribe than the Fire Nation where she spent most of her time now. Maybe, she could have even used it as an excuse to spend more time at home. In any case, it wasn't up to her to decide.
"Sokka?" She called him, when she realized she hadn't received any response.
Suki smiled, as soon as she heard him snore. A clear sign that that conversation had now come to an end.
She ran her fingers through his locks one last time, before closing her eyes. "Goodnight, warrior boy."
o o o
A knock on the door caught her attention. She placed the bag she was holding on the table and turned towards the entrance.
She was now alone in that room. Katara had already taken her belongings away and was now outside the inn, busy placing her bags on Appa with the others.
Seeing the half-empty room had caused her a certain annoyance that she hadn't been able to explain and, so, she had decided to prepare for her imminent departure.
"Come in."
The door opened and Suki couldn't help but smile. That was a surprise, a good one, and when her eyes met those of the girl standing in front her, her gaze softened.
"Ru!"
"Hey, Suki." She smiled. "Ty Lee told me you will leave soon, I came by to say goodbye."
"I would never have left without meeting you first." Suki admitted, moving closer. "How are you doing?"
"Good." Ru replied, but her smile faded shortly after. “It's everything still so… strange. I tried to talk to my mother and my sister, in prison, but they still don't seem to understand. They are still angry."
"I'm sorry." She whispered, sincerely.
“Don't be. It's not your fault." Ru took her hands. "Actually, I came here to thank you."
Suki tightened her grip, trying to give her some comfort. She admired her courage and, as much as it was the right thing to do, she could only imagine how much it had cost her to rebel against her own family. At first, she was surprised to hear that Ru was visiting them. She had never hidden her aversion to her mother after what she had done, yet; she seemed determined to try to make them understand her point of view.
In a way, she could understand that desire. Suki was a proud person, she knew her worth and she wasn't afraid to show it. But she has been surrounded by non-benders since childhood, she had never witnessed discrimination before leaving the island. The fact that she was a non-bender had never stopped her from being a great warrior, but she couldn't see herself sitting with a bender and trying to explain that she was worthy of respect too. Not with words, anyway.
Did it really matter if she was a bender or a non-bender? She was a person, wasn't that enough?
Perhaps for Ru was different, prompt by a bigger desire. Family relationships always confused her.
Suki hoped that, with time, Ru could succeed in her intent. She knew it wasn't going to be easy, but Suki believed in change in people. The past had taught her that it was possible but also that, sometimes, there was nothing to be done.
“I thought about what you told me and you were right. It's useless to think about the things I could have done in the past, now what will come will depend solely on me. You and Sokka showed me a world I didn't think possible for us non-benders." A bright smile returned to her lips. “I will continue to train and I promise you that I will use everything you have taught me for a good purpose. We all will. Thank you, Suki."
Suki felt her eyes tingle and smiled back. That was unexpected.
Being a warrior meant helping people. It was her duty, act came by instinct, it was what she was. It was what people expected her to do. Nevertheless; Suki never did it to be praised or for the glory. She had always acted following what she believed to be more right, her values and what she had learned with experience, and precisely because it was what people expected of her; often, no gratitude was shown to her. Actually, the times she'd been thanked could be counted on the fingers of her hand, but she had never cared.
She remembered the day her intervention on Kyoshi Island has been requested for the first time. She remembered Oyaji's look on her, so different from the one he had reserved for her as a child.
Suki swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. It wasn't the right time to think about it.
"Take care of yourself, Ru." She recommended, pulling her into a hug.
"You too." Ru released the embrace. "Now go, I know there is another person you would like to meet."
Suki laughed and thanked her, before heading down the corridor and hurrying down the stairs.
As soon as she stepped out of the inn, she recognized familiar voices from the chatter of passers-by. She turned to the sources and smiled.
At the corner of the street, Appa was lying down intent on yawning still sleepy. Next to him, Aang was turned towards Toph while Katara and Sokka, on the opposite side, were busy in an argument whose subject was impossible for her to know, unable to distinguish the words from there. Looking around, she noticed that, not far away, there was also Ty Lee who was watching the scene laughing.
"If you are going to be like this for the entire time of the trip, say it now." Suki heard Sokka mutter as she began to approach.
"Oh, may nothing ever spoil the prince's beauty nap here." Katara retorted.
"Right, thank you for the consideration."
Suki shook her head, amused. Strange as it might seem, she knew she would miss seeing those squabbles; she was used to them by now. Sometimes, they started for foolish reasons; and yet, it only took few minutes and everything returned exactly as it was before. It had to be a brother and sister thing.
She quarreled with her sisters from time to time, but it wasn't the same. It was a little more complicated than that, they didn't have a real blood relationship. Not that Suki ever cared, anyway. She hadn't lied to Ty Lee, she really believed that the bond that united her and the Kyoshi Warriors was much deeper than a friendship or a banal relationship between colleagues but, sometimes, she wondered what exactly that word meant. Although she had also shared childhood with many of them, after all, she had no way of comparing as she was a only child. Well, that's what she knew at least.
They were her family. Her version of a family, but no less important.
Katara rolled her eyes before meeting hers. A sly smile rose on her lips and, pointing a finger at her, she screamed. "Look, there's Suki!"
She saw Sokka turn his head sharply in the direction his sister was pointing and his face lit up. Suki stopped and opened her arms, waiting, infected by the happiness of her boyfriend.
"Suki!" He exclaimed, running towards her.
She smiled. She would never get tired of hearing him say her name, not like that.
She laughed heartily as he wrapped her tightly in his arms. When their eyes met again, however, she saw his gaze darken as if he had just remembered in that moment that she wasn't coming with them.
A despondent expression appeared on Sokka's face, and he immediately pulled her into another hug. Suki reciprocated with equal energy, trying to get as close as possible. And she was aware that the difficult part was yet to come.
He gently took her face in his hands and kissed her hair, before taking a deep breath, as if to impregnate himself with her perfume, while Suki closed her eyes, letting him caress her cheekbones with his thumbs.
"Sokka." She called him but even before she could say anything, he kissed her. One, two, three times, until she lost count.
"I'll write to you every day." He promised.
"That's stupid, and you know it." Suki laughed. “You must wait for the messenger hawk to arrive, Sokka. You can't send letters every day."
"I said write." Sokka specified, showing a pleased smile. "I'll write every day, then I'll wait for the hawk to come back and send you what I have."
“This is…” she hesitated, “still stupid. You will end up just piling up sheet of papers."
He rolled his eyes. "Alright, fine, I'll write to you whenever I can."
"Better."
The two laughed, then Sokka brushed her hair away from her face and she leaned against his palm.
"You are really important to me, Suki." He whispered and Suki smiled, knowing perfectly well what he really meant by those words. For a moment, her mind went back to the day they had said it for the first time. On Ember Island.
"You are really, really, important to me too Sokka."
I love you, too .
He smiled and pulled her into his arms again. He ran a hand up and down her back and she squeezed him one last time, before they both broke the embrace.
"Leave everyone speechless, clever boy." Suki said, while they were still holding hand.
"Kick some butt, tough girl." Sokka replied, making her laugh.
Suki emptied her lungs in a sigh, when neither of them moved away. She could have easily got lost in those eyes that she adored so much.
"Sokka!" Katara's voice reached them. Her tone wasn't demanding or impatient; she knew it was hard for them, but it was still a painful reminder that their time was up.
"I'm coming!" He raised his voice to be heard by his sister, without turning around.
Sokka leaned over her and placed his lips on hers for one last time. Hesitating, he savored them slowly and she raised her arm to caress his face.
Suki felt him encircle her hips and the heat of his body enveloped her once again until, suddenly, she felt cold. She opened her eyes and saw him suddenly broke away, as if in pain and, despite she had leaned forward, she managed to stifle the desire to follow him.
Sokka turned and headed in the opposite direction, where the others were waiting for him.
Suki started to turn around as well but something, inside her, held her back.
They had established a rule, long time ago. It was stupid, really, but it worked. They had established that; each time they had to go their separate ways, neither of them would have to look back, once they were parted. They knew that if they did, the desire to run into each other again would prevail and, if they did, it would only be more painful.
Suki looked down. She wasn't turning away from him quite yet, but like that, she wasn't technically breaking the rule.
Her thoughts returned to Ember Island again; to how they both had decided to allow themselves the luxury of a little leisure despite the war, in indulging the desire to feel like teenagers because they were uncertain about how it would end, the first time they explored their intimacy.
It had been nice to let go of the emotions freely and completely.
Suki slowly looked up and immediately remembered why that rule was so important. She couldn't see Sokka's face as he continued walking but there was no need, his posture spoke for him. His head was slightly bowed and his shoulders hunched, and as soon as she saw him raise his arm to bring a hand to his face, she felt her eyes tingle.
She quickly shifted her gaze and directed it at the others, waiting on Appa. Katara's eyes were focused on her brother. She looked sorry.
Suki felt a huge weight sink into her chest and looked at her own hands.
Her mind went back even further, to their first kiss, to when she had tried to apologize, and to the night before when she had confessed her feelings to him. She wondered what happened to that girl. She seemed so brave and sincere, and Suki felt a little envious of her.
It was stupid, she was still her but, at the same time, she knew she wasn't.
At the time, Suki had found herself in front of the boy that she hadn't been able to get out of her head after his departure. It had been pure chance or, perhaps, fate. She liked to think that it had been, a little. However, she hadn't been sure that they would meet again. She had wanted to risks by putting her heart on the line. And now?
There was no more war, but she still felt uncertain about the future. They had restored peace, yet they still risked their lives. Again, to go separate ways and hope that nothing bad would happen while they weren't together watching each other's backs.
During their first kiss, Sokka had surprised her. She still remembered the palpitations but also the joy when the realization of what had happened had reached her. She often wondered if she had ever make him feel the same way, what she could do to make that happen.
That girl was still her. She was just a little different, grown up and she hoped that, maybe, she had even become a better version of the old her. She just had to allow herself to let go to the emotions, once again.
Although she still felt uncertain about the future, there had always been one thing she had never doubts about.
Suki took a step forward and stopped.
"Suki?" She heard Ty Lee calling, now beside her. She didn't turn to her friend, she didn't want to know what color her aura was. Not at that moment.
She raised her head upwards. Appa was already high in the sky, but she could still see them clearly. Sokka was facing the horizon, with his back to the city to continue to abide by their rule. Perhaps, he would still be able to hear her.
Suki took a deep breath and, with a determined momentum, began to run.
"Suki!" Ty Lee exclaimed, surprised, but she ignored her.
She kept running straight in front of her, looking up from time to time to make sure they weren't too far away.
"Sokka!" She tried.
Nothing happened but Suki didn't give up continuing her run, avoiding anyone who stood in front of her. If anything, she was fast.
She stopped only when she reached the port, forced by the end of the pier. She bit her lower lip and filled her lungs in another attempt.
She smiled as Katara moved, leaning forward slightly as she looked down at her. She saw her turn and tap her brother's shoulder.
After a few seconds of uncertainty, Sokka turned to Katara. From there, it was impossible for her to hear what they were saying but she could see Sokka peeking out as Katara pointed to the harbor.
"Sokka!" She screamed again, feeling her heart pounding. She was aware that it wasn't because of the run. She put her hands to the corners of the mouth, as if it could help him to hear her better, and she screamed. "I love you!"
He stood still for a few seconds as Aang was already pulling on the reins to signal Appa to turn back, and she wondered if he understood what she said, until he leaned down so much that he seemed to want to jump off.
"What?" He asked aloud, instead. "I can't hear you because of the wind."
Suki giggled, taken by the euphoria of the situation. "I said I love you!"
She saw him suddenly pull himself up and shake his friend vigorously, as if to order him to go faster. She laughed, backing away as Appa began to lower for a place to land.
They found it not far from the pier and she ran in their direction, while Sokka let himself slide down to the ground. He began to run towards her, with so much vehemence that he nearly tripped over his own footsteps.
They crushed in an hug, and Suki realized she was still laughing.
"I love you." Sokka said breathlessly, a whisper from her ear as he still held her tight. "I love you so much."
"I know," she said "I know."
"I wanted to be the first one to say it." He complained. Suki couldn't see his face, but she was sure he had an adorable pout.
"Then why didn't you do it?" She teased him but Sokka just shook his head, still surprised.
"If you were trying to get me to stay, it's working." He added, without malice.
"Sorry." Suki smiled, a little guilty but she knew he was just joking. He would never stay, although, he was probably more displeasured to leave now.
Sokka released the embrace and looked into her eyes. "You are amazing."
She shook her head, even though she could feel her cheeks heat up. She had no idea what her expression was at that moment, but she was sure she looked silly. She could feel the muscles of her face aching, from how much she was smiling, and so much energy in her body that she could climb a mountain.
Is this what it feels like to say it out loud? And she wondered why she had waited so long to do it.
"I have to go."
"Yes," Suki agreed. "I have to go, too."
He nodded and smiled. He kissed her, before saying once again, "I love you."
"I love you too," she whispered. Saying it from this close was even better.
Sokka laughed, happy, and Suki skipped a beat as she felt that same happiness invade her chest.
He gave her a quick kiss on the lips, then took her hand and kissed the back of it. He took a few steps back, still keeping his gaze on her, before releasing her hand and turning to go back to the others.
Suki heard footsteps reaching her, as she watched Sokka's back get further away, and it was like waking up from a dream. She blushed, suddenly aware that she had screamed out her feelings in the middle of the town, keeping her head down to avoid making eye contact with someone.
"I guess we will leave too, now." She breathed a sigh of relief to see that it was just Ty Lee.
It's a good idea , Suki thought, it seems like the ideal time.
Street brawling and crime had decreased, and she trusted the non-bender police force she had taught. She knew the officers and Ru would be able to get by without her, by now. Plus, putting it off was useless. She would miss teaching, but she also knew that returning to the royal palace would do her good. She had to clear her mind.
"Yes," she smiled, determined, turning to her friend, "Zuko is waiting for us."
Suki closed her eyes for a few seconds and took a deep breath as she let the salty breeze that the port was offering to her, fill her lungs. Then, she turned to head towards the street and, this time, she didn't look back.