Chapter Text
Taking a deep breath, he remained with his eyes turned to the sky. He had pulled his knees up to his chest by leaning his elbows on them and letting his hands dangle as he absently watched the clouds move above them. The travel was proceeding without too many hitches and, this time, he didn't mind Appa's leisurely pace. He didn't feel the same rush and impatience he had felt on the way, when they headed to the Earth Kingdom to meet his girlfriend.
Sokka grimaced when he felt a slight sense of guilt rising from his stomach. Sure, he was happy to go home but, inevitably, this forced him to think about issues that he would rather have avoided addressing at that moment. Not only did it remind him of the events and conflicts he had learned about the last time they visited the Southern Water Tribe but it also reminded him that he had no real plans for the future, letting his anxiety grip his throat every time he wondered what his father wanted to talk about.
Having a plan, a purpose, was functional. He liked it, it made everything easier and made decisions final. Having a plan was efficient.
He had always had one ever since he was just a kid. First, to protect his sister; left alone, to defending the entire village and teaching the children of the tribe something that, at the time, he wasn't even sure he knew.
Then, he met Aang and, even then, the plan seemed pretty clear. Not immediately, but clear, initially confused by his bizarre behavior. Well, to tell the truth, looking back now, maybe the bizarre ones had been him and Katara. Aang had been as playful and lighthearted as any child would, as it should have been. But he and his sister had had to grow up fast, too fast, and before they left the village, they had never allowed themselves the luxury of behaving like someone their age.
He had followed Katara; like a good older brother, with a bigger general plan, which had been divided into many small tasks during their travels.
A mission, a goal, that's what it took to be able to plan a future. That was what he needed. Not that having a plan made it easy, he knew that well, but leaving everything in the hands of chance was never a good idea. What to do when you don't have a goal anymore, that; he didn't know that.
After Zuko's coronation ceremony, with the excuse of allowing his leg to heal completely, he thought he could take some time to think. But the world hadn't stopped to wait for him, moving on without his realizing it.
The team had begun to separate, after the celebration organized by Earth King Kuei. Toph had stayed there, in the Earth Kingdom, with the idea of opening the academy that had already begun to whirl in her head, Zuko struggling with his role as Fire Lord and the removal of the colonies, and he, Katara and Aang had been busy in their travels to make sure that decolonization didn't disturb too much the peace of the citizens. And then; of course, Suki, who returned to Kyoshi Island to make sure everyone was safe and to figure out what her next step would be.
The Harmony Restoration Movement, although at the time it seemed the right thing to do; with his sister's insistence, it had completely demolished all his plans which included his visits to Kyoshi Island. It was at that precise moment that the knowledge that his relationship with Suki would continue to be a long-distance relationship hit him in the chest. He had turned to look at her, lost in her thoughts outside the Jasmine Dragon, while the wind had moved her hair, beautiful as always with the colors of the Earth Kingdom on her. It had been enough that she had turned to him and simply smiled and that was it, he had known it. Suki was his person.
They couldn't have done otherwise, they didn't want to do otherwise.
Sure, the image of being able to make her smaller enough to be able to put her in his pocket and carry her with him still touched his mind every now and then. He smiled at that silly thought.
It was difficult, it had been since they decided to continue their relationship despite the distance, but Sokka had always thought it was worth it and he knew she felt the same way too. He would have always preferred a week, a day, even an hour with Suki rather than nothing.
A year after the coronation, the Fire Lord had been the victim of an attempted assassination and that was the event that had started to overturn the lives of all of them.
When Suki had told him that she and the other Kyoshi Warriors would be Zuko's bodyguard at the royal palace, he was initially surprised. Not that he had thought she would stay home, or that she would agree to live isolated again. Although the war was over, she had no intention of withdraw from her duties, willing to help. He knew that she would do a great job and, even if that meant going their separate ways again, he had been proud of her decision and he still was.
It was one of the things he loved about Suki, her independence, her following what she felt was right in an altruistic way. She was a woman of action, while he was more of a man of strategy; convinced that that was one of the reasons why they worked so well together, and remaining doing nothing would be like suffocating for her.
Sokka would never ask her to give up that side of her, asking her to stay, just as he knew she would never ask him that too. Grateful, however, to know that if a big problem ever occurred, as it had with the war that had threatened to breaking out due the Harmony Restoration Movement, she would still thought of him. Not because she wasn't able to get by on her own or simply because he was part of the team, but because she really trusted his abilities and for him there was no other person in the world that he trusted more to watch his back.
From then on, he, Katara, Aang and; when she hadn't been too busy with the academy, Toph had resumed traveling together to try to rebuild a world that had just emerged from the war. The obstacles they had encountered had never been a trivial matter, and remaining watching and doing nothing seemed impossible at this point.
And then, it was like suddenly waking up from a dream.
When he and Katara realized how much time they had actually spent away from home, it was almost a shock. How could years have gone by without them noticing?
At that moment, therefore, returning to the Southern Water Tribe had seemed like the right thing to do and, even there, everything had begun to change.
He hadn't even had time to assimilate every single change, that visit had been an up and down of emotions.
Seeing that the village had become a city had been thrilling for him, unlike his sister who had been reluctant to accept it. He didn't blame her, changes scare but, as he had often said, it wasn't something that could be stopped so why not embrace it.
He had felt the same enthusiasm he felt for technological innovations. As a non-bender he couldn't fail to see the advantages, seeing how it helped them to be more independent from benders, to be more equal. And he understood how that had completely upset the world of work for many, in some areas, but nothing could ever justify the use of violence, whatever the reason. That was why he believed in finding a solution that would bring together benders and non-benders, as he had tried to do in Cranefish Town.
The arrival of the factory in the Southern Water Tribe, instead, had been the last decisive event that made the situation degenerate for a group of extremists, opposed to the idea of living in a city and to the progress. That had increased the tension between the North and the South. In the South even towards outsiders in general, causing a revolt that had arisen in an attempt to maintain independence; from the North and from collaboration with other Nations, while the North intended to take control of the South and appropriate the oil extracted. Or at least, that would have been Maliq's plan.
It wasn't the fault of the machines, it wasn't the fault of progress, but of those who had chosen to act in a hostile way. There were no parties to side with. Benders and non-benders, all the Nations, needed to work together to find a balance. It was the fault of the individuals, it was unthinkable to be able to discuss at general, but it seemed that it was always easier to point the finger at others than at oneself.
It seemed so simple to him, yet it seemed a truth that still eluded many.
Sokka had risked losing his father in those days due that rivolt, more than once, again, and just the thought of it was enough to make him feel sick.
The meeting with Maliq had shown him how easy it could be to be blinded by the desire for progress but the one with Malina had shown him that finding a balance was indeed possible and how nice it could be live at the Southern Water Tribe, together.
Malina really seemed to make his father happy, and that was all it took to get him to accept her. It had been easier for him than for Katara but he was grateful to see that they started getting closer. They were still working on it.
Observing his father, in his office, he had wondered if he would ever be able to fill his role but then had spent two months in Cranefish Town, managing to get his voice heard by the members of the business council. Even though he knew it was very different from being Chieftain, he couldn't deny that it had done him good. True, they had failed to get a new form of government approved in the city or a solution that would bring balance between benders and non-benders but not because his ideas weren't valid, and that was a certain awareness.
Now, when he imagined he had to make a speech, he didn't think about his first poor attempt during the war anymore but he could visualize the faces of people intent on listening by taking him seriously. With Aang beside him, as the Avatar, but never stepping on his toes, trusting his words, and Sokka knew that the respect his friend had for him was genuine. He could see Suki's gaze, in his room at the inn, not only focused on listening to him but with a different light in her eyes, full of so much more, which had filled his chest with pride. He still had a lot to learn but, at least, he had stopped babbling in front of a group of people.
Now; still on Appa, Sokka felt a bit lost.
He wondered if his sister felt the same anxiety about the future too, but he doubted it. Not in the same way, at least.
It was ironic, but the end of the war had left behind not only new problems to solve but also so many possibilities that it was impossible know which one to choose.
Following in his father's footsteps seemed the most logical path but, then, why didn't it come so natural to him to think about it? He would do anything to see his father's proud expression, again, and he had always thought that his destiny would be that since he was a child; yet, now it didn't seem the only possible path to take anymore.
A part of him kept telling him that if he stayed in the Southern Water Tribe, he would give up many opportunities. On the occasion of learning new things, on seeing where the studies of other Nations were leading, on traveling freely and designing new inventions with engineers from all over the world. There were so many other factories to visit, all different from each other.
When he was a child he could never even have imagined it. Life outside the village.
His gaze shifted to Katara, sitting across from him. Her chin was resting on her palm as she looked at the horizon over Aang's shoulders. He hinted at a smile, seeing how much she had grown up. Not that he would ever say it out loud, of course, a part of him would always see her as his little sister. But that he was proud of her, she knew it.
His eyes followed the same direction as Katara's then, however, focused on the figure of his friend. How long their travels together would last, it was impossible to tell but he doubted that he could follow Aang and help him with his 'Avatar problems'; as he called them, forever. Not him, at least.
His eyes shifted back to his sister. Would she stop, someday, or would she still like to following him?
Sokka's thoughts returned to Suki. Not that he was trying to compare their relationship, it would have been certainly weird and even useless; he considered, since they were completely different people. But they were both two of the strongest women he knew, determined and brave, as they had shown him more than once in the past. In all meaning.
He still couldn't believe that Suki had told him she loved him. Not that it was necessary, he already knew but; spirits, it had been nice to hear it and say it in turn. As unsure as he might be about the future, that had always been certain. Sokka felt his heart pound against his rib cage at the very thought of it, still feeling the same happiness in his chest that he had felt in that instant.
Suki seemed to have found her place, her goal. Now that he thought about it, his sister had never told him what she was going to do now.
"What?" Katara asked when their eyes met.
He blinked a couple of times, caught in the act staring at her, and tried to relax, realizing just then how tense he was. He shrugged, trying to look as casual as possible and reached for one of the bags.
"Here," Sokka said, handing her the parka "you should wear it, it's starting to get cold."
Katara rolled her eyes, as if to say he shouldn't have worried, but she took it anyway following his advice.
Sokka smiled, satisfied, wearing his right after.
He sighed and felt the irrepressible desire to be able to stay there, in the air on Appa, a little longer. Hanging and free from doubts, from having to make decisions, only with the cold wind to hit him and with his certainties.
The boomerang is the best weapon, the haiku's schematic is cathartic, I miss my space sword, he started counting them, art is a fun hobby, science finds the answers, food is a serious passion, my sister will always be a little girl to me, the moon spirit is kind, I adore my family, I love Suki.
He wasn't sure how much more time exactly, just a little bit longer.
o o o
His arm swung, left and right, over the expanse of white that had occupied his sight for hours. Leaning forward, looking into void as if hypnotized, Sokka struggled to keep his eyes open. He seemed to come to his senses only when Katara hurried to reach his side, with a broad smile on her lips.
His sister; however, wasn't looking at him and, imitating her, he straightened his back by turning his head to the right. As soon as the buildings of the city became clear on the horizon, he felt slightly relieved. Grateful to feel the anxiety slip away from his chest to give way to joy, to the idea of meeting his family again.
Appa began to lower for a place to land and Sokka's eyes wandered through the streets and buildings where, from time to time, someone looked up to the sky attracted by the passage of the big shadow of their hairy friend. Noticing their presence, adults and children began to greet them and he couldn't help but smile at that welcome.
It was good to be home.
Among the others a figure stood out, standing still, a few steps from the town hall. As they get closer, he noticed that it was a man and saw him raise his arm to greet them with enthusiasm.
Sokka's smile widened as he recognized him.
"Dad!" Katara exclaimed and, as soon as Appa landed on the ground, she jumped down to run towards him. "You came."
"Of course," Sokka heard him say as he followed his sister "the last time I didn't know you were coming but, this time, no meeting could stop me from welcoming my children properly."
Sokka's gaze softened upon hearing him as Katara let herself be wrapped in their father's arms.
"Hi, dad." He greeted him in turn, once reached, joining the hug.
As that warmth enveloped him, he felt his muscles loosen, at ease. He breathed a sigh of relief.
When they released the embrace, Hakoda turned his attention behind them still smiling.
"Avatar Aang, it's always a pleasure to have you here." He said, bringing a fist to his palm and leaning slightly in respect.
"Nice to be here, Head Chieftain Hakoda, sir." Aang returned the gesture and Sokka refrained from rolling his eyes as he wondered if all that formality was really necessary. Some things were destined to never change.
"Actually, I won't stay long." He added as concern took shape on his face. "I'll be leaving in a couple of days."
"Of course, take all the time you need."
Aang smiled gratefully, and Sokka peeked out of the corner of his eye to look at Katara. She had lowered the gaze to her own feet. It only lasted a second but he couldn't help but notice it, well aware what she was feeling in that moment. Instinctively, he moved a little closer to his sister as if it could help ease that pain.
“I'm curious to hear what you have to say about Cranefish Town,” Hakoda admitted, turning back to his children “but what about if you put away your bags first? We will talk about it over a warm meal."
"Yes, please." Sokka exclaimed as he stroked his abdomen playfully, receiving an affectionate pat on the shoulder from his father.
The group hastened to unload their bags and, after arranging a place for Appa to rest peacefully, Hakoda led the way through the city.
Sokka quickened his pace to move away from the couple and reach his father's side. He looked at him for a few seconds. He didn't seem worried, or nervous, and until that instant his tone had sounded calm as usual; yet, he couldn't help but ask: "In the letter you wrote that you wanted to talk to us about something, what is it?"
Hakoda laughed. "Don't be impatient, son." He turned to look at him. "As I said, we'll talk later."
Those words didn't seem to be able to reassure Sokka who stopped abruptly, having the impression that the chatter of passers-by had become frighteningly distant as he let the other two pass him.
He felt a shiver run down his spine, aware it wasn't due to the cold.
o o o
Sokka let out a long sigh as soon as he stepped inside the building. With the heat taking the place of the cold, he put his bags on the floor so he could take off the parka.
He hung it up and retrieved the bag and sacks, heading for the bedroom. He placed them on the bed and looked around. His father had pointed at it, informing him that since they left he had started organizing to make sure his children had a home of their own. Sokka was grateful for that, aware that he was now old enough to live on his own. After all, they had traveled without any adult supervision in the past, not to mention that he had helped end the war. Plus, he didn't want to compromise the privacy of his father and Malina; it would have been weird. He preferred it that way.
The house looked cozy. Modest, it mirrored the inside of the others Southern Water Tribe buildings. He still had to get used to it, but he liked it.
He noticed that the house was a bit large for only one person, it even included a study and another rather bare room, and he wondered if his father had noticed it.
He couldn't prevent his thoughts from going to Suki and, instinctively, he put his hand in his pocket. Maybe they could stay there together, when he took her to visit the city.
He remembered how happy he had felt as soon as they started talking about it in Cranefish Town.
It had happened a little by chance. Sokka had said it almost as a joke, trying not to hope too much about it, but he had not been able to hold back when Suki had shown curiosity in front of the typical Water Tribe helmet that he had just bought. She had looked up to make their eyes meet and confessed that she would like to visit the Southern Water Tribe, next time she had time to take a break. Only if he wanted, she had quickly added, still remembering the blush that had colored her cheeks. She had taken him so by surprise that he had felt his pulse racing and, taken by the euphoria, he had hugged her tightly. Excited by the idea of showing her the place where he was born and grew up. Wanting nothing more than to make her participate also in that side of his life, of himself.
She probably wouldn't stay for many days anyway, but that was more than enough for him; knowing that she really meant it.
He could already see it. The two of them, in front of the fire, talking about how the day went and what they had done since the last time they met; just as they had got used to do in the last two months.
He heard a knock on the door which roused him from his thoughts.
"It's open." He said raising his voice to be heard from there, as he hastily removed his hand from the pocket.
"Are you ready?" He heard Katara ask, turning to her as she stopped in the bedroom doorway.
"In a minute." Sokka replied, walking over to the bag on the mattress.
He saw his sister taking it as an invitation to come in, approaching him.
“Haven't you unpacked yet? Dad is waiting for us." Katara said, crossing her arms over her chest.
"I know," Sokka retorted disconsolately, as he began to empty his bag "I was looking around."
His sister nodded, letting her gaze wander around the room. "It's nice."
He stopped to look at her. She turned serious as she stared at some indefinite point in the room, and he wondered what she was thinking at the moment.
Even before he could say anything, however, she added, “Is it weird that I feel more at home here than outside? I mean, it doesn't look like our hut at all; still…"
"No," Sokka replied, smiling at her, "I don't think it's weird."
It wasn't, but what he felt was a little different. Home was where his family was. Being able to be with his father, with his sister, with Gran-Gran and his auntie Ashuna. Home was all the Southern Water Tribe; with the traditions and typical dishes that he had missed. Even the sturdy seal jerky, and the cold that almost took the breath away that he had got used to again. But he could understand how Katara felt; in a way. The comfortable certainty of knowing what to find each time they returned home, it was gone.
It was sad to think that the hut where they had grown up, where he had seen his sister open her little eyes for the first time , no longer existed; or that to observe the aurora polar, as he had often done as a child, he now had to go outside the walls and move away from the city just enough so that the lights would not prevent him from seeing it. At the same time, he couldn't help but feel excited, often feeling these two conflicting emotions. However, there were more days when the euphoria for a different future took over the other while for Katara, probably, it was the opposite in which nostalgia assailed her every time she set foot outside.
Katara smiled back, letting her arms drop to her sides.
"So," she said, trying to change the subject "what do you think dad wants to talk about?"
That question took him by surprise. So she was wondering that too.
"I don't know," Sokka whispered, sincere "the future?"
Katara gave a chuckle, then looked down. "I really missed home."
"I know." He murmured, bitterly. He wished the situation for his sister was better.
She sighed. "Well, I'll wait for you outside."
He watched her turn and walk towards the entrance but that confession had left a strange tension in the air. He didn't like the expression his sister had put on, still vivid in his mind. Not wanting her to come out of that house in those condition, he began to think of something that could cheer her up.
"Hey, wait." Sokka said, moving towards her.
Katara turned back at him, stopping with one hand already on the door handle.
"Um," he mumbled as he looked down, still searching for something and he put both hands in his pockets, uncomfortable. He quickly raised his head up, smiling. "I'd like to talk to you about something."
She frowned in confusion, but she let go of the door handle. "What is it?"
Sokka didn't answer, but he didn't look away either. He knew that his sister would be the first person he wanted to tell it, but he hadn't planned on doing it now. He swallowed and decided to tell her anyway, knowing that she would be happy about it. At least, he hoped so.
"Actually, I've been wanting to tell you for a while."
"Sokka?"
"I don't even know when I'll do it."
"Sokka."
"Maybe I should start planning it."
"Sokka!" Katara raised her voice to stop her brother's muttering. Now, with her arms crossed again, she looked at him impatiently.
He blinked, as if suddenly awakened from a dream. He sighed, feeling his mouth dry and said, "I want to ask Suki to marry me."
Silence fell in the room as soon as those words slipped from his lips, and he could swear he could only hear his heart pounding so hard that he could felt it in his ears. He saw her open her eyes wide, as if she had understood only in that instant what he had said, open her mouth but no sound came out, while she brought both hands to her face.
"Say something," Sokka whispered, worried "please."
Katara gave a little scream of joy and, after jumping on the spot a couple of times, she ran to hug him.
He burst into a liberating laugh and returned the hug. He loved Suki, but seeing his sister's enthusiasm meant a lot to him.
"You scared me for a moment, you know?"
"Sorry, you caught me totally off guard." Katara admitted, releasing the embrace. "I'm really happy for you."
"Thank you." Sokka said, still smiling.
She took a few steps away, then her eyes slid down at his tunic and he had to fight against the instinct to put his hands back in his pockets.
His sister, however, seemed to have noticed that because her tone turned accusatory when she asked, "How long have you known?"
Sokka let out a nervous chuckle, looking away. "For a while."
"How long is a while?" She persisted.
"Urgh," he grunted, raising his arms in exasperation, "I take it back, I preferred when you couldn't speak."
The provocation didn't have the expected effect and, when he received no response, he gave up. "Since the last time we came here."
"But that's a long time!" Katara exclaimed, incredulous. Then, she raised an eyebrow before chanting in amusement. "Oh, that's why you thought Malina was Maliq's wife."
"Please, don't remind me."
"Aww, Suki is your most important person." She teased him, showing a sly smile.
Sokka blushed. "Why are you doing this to me?"
"Because I'm your sister." She replied casually, opening her arms as if to show how obvious it was.
He fell silent, lowering his head, then chained his gaze back to hers. "Aren't you angry?"
"About what?"
"About the fact that the most important person to Maliq is his sister, while I..." he stopped, feeling a bitter taste in his mouth "I hadn't even thought about it." He tried.
"Of course not." Katara laughed.
"Why not?" Sokka asked, with genuine curiosity.
"Because I already know you'd do anything for me," she explained, "plus I know that your being annoying equals exactly to how much you love me and, trust me, you couldn't be more annoying than that."
"Ah ah." He mocked her laugh, but he couldn't help but smile. "Then, who is your most important person?"
"I won't tell you." Katara retorted and, this time, it was her turn to blush.
"You know what, you're right, I don't want to know." Sokka said, making a face.
"So," she hummed, putting her hands behind her back and starting to walk around the room, "would you have liked to make the proposal to her in Cranefish Town?" she inquired, returning to the subject.
"No!" Sokka exclaimed, almost offended by the idea. “I mean, no! It wasn't the right time, after the revolt and what happened after, we were both too busy and when we had time to be together, well, we wanted to be together."
Katara grunted in disgust, pausing to turn around as if she could no longer look at him. "Gross."
He rolled his eyes. "I didn't mean that."
Actually, that too, but obviously it wasn't something he wanted to say to his sister.
The truth was that he had missed his girlfriend, like all the times they weren't together. Of course, he had missed their intimacy and he thought no one could blame him for that. It was Suki, she was gorgeous, she was everything but it was her presence that he had missed. He had missed talking to her, not just about serious matters; in which he knew he could always count on her attentive ear, but also talking about silly thing, the way they teased each other, he had missed joking with her. The adorable pout that came to life on her lips whenever one of her puns didn't come out as she had hoped.
He always had fun with her, even though she wasn't good with jokes, she had other methods of eliciting a laugh. Suki was a really funny person. Probably, more than she thought.
"I've already made the betrothal necklace, it's just..." Sokka sighed "I want everything to be perfect."
"Perfection doesn't exist, Sokka." Katara warned him. "If you wait for the perfect moment, it may never come."
He backed away until he reached the bedroom threshold again. "I'm working on it."
Katara shook her head, following him a few steps to continue that conversation. “I can't believe you carried the necklace with you for another two full months. What would have happened if you had lost it?"
"I thought I was the paranoid one of the family." Sokka muttered, resuming emptying his bag. She had say it herself, in the past.
"Fine." She said. "The proposal is yours, do whatever you want."
"Thank you." He said, with a little too much emphasis.
Katara turned to walk towards the door but, then, something seemed to change her mind. "Can I ask you one last thing?"
Sokka muttered under his breath, feigning annoyance, but he nodded.
"Why did you decide to make the marriage proposal following the tradition..." she hesitated "of the North?"
He stopped abruptly at hearing it and, when their gazes met, he found concern on her face, as if she were afraid she had gone too far with that question.
Sokka shrugged, wanting to give the impression he didn't care too much. “Mom had it. I just thought it would be nice if Suki had one too." He cleared his throat. "I guess."
A strange sense of shame hit his stomach. Saying it out loud sounded stupid and that thought made him want to turn his back on his sister but, even before he could move, she ran to hug him again.
"I think it's a good idea." Katara said, with tears in her eyes.
"Thank you." Sokka whispered, this time, sincere.
She smiled and started to walk away, when he called her. "Oh, you have to promise me one thing."
"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone." His sister anticipated him, trying to reassure him.
"Good." He thought about it. Then, he added, "You can't even tell Aang."
Katara stopped. "What? Why not?"
"Because he can't keep a secret."
She frowned. "What are you talking about?"
Sokka opened his mouth to answer but someone knocked. He hurried past her to reach the entrance and, when he put his hand on the door handle, he turned his head towards her. He raised a finger of his other hand towards his sister to tell her not to say anything and she glared at him as she approached him.
"Hey, guys." Aang greeted them, cheerfully, once the door was opened. "What are you doing, why are you taking so long?"
"Nothing." Sokka hastened to say, turning to look at Katara seeking confirmation.
Instead, he saw a sly smile rise on her face and he realized he was in trouble.
“Actually,” Katara began, approaching her boyfriend, “we were discussing whether you can keep a secret. Sokka says no."
"What?" Aang exclaimed, turning to his friend. "I'm an excellent secrets keeper."
"That's not true at all." Sokka snorted crossing his arms over his chest, surrendering to the idea of ending that conversation as soon as possible. "Have you forgotten all the times you revealed you were the Avatar, when we were in the middle of a war?"
"Only when strictly necessary."
"Yeah, sure." Sokka retorted, sarcastically.
"I never told Katara it was your idea to toke separate rooms in Cranefish Town—whops." He stopped abruptly, putting a hand to his mouth.
"You, what?" Katara stepped in, raising her voice. "Sokka!"
"See?" He asked rhetorically, raising his arms. "This is exactly why I can't tell you anything."
"Sorry." Aang whispered, guilty, in a low voice. He seemed genuinely disappointed and that was enough for Sokka to decide to let it go, not without throwing him a dirty look first.
"I'm not five anymore, you know." His sister continued, undeterred.
"La la la," he almost shouted, quickly bringing his hands to cover his ears. Sure that she only said it to punish him "I don't want to hear it."
Katara snorted at her brother's overreaction. "I didn't say anything, really." Then, she walked over and gently grabbed his wrists to pull them away from his face. "But if you tell him, we'll be even."
Sokka gasped, as if offended. "This is a straightforward extortion."
“Wait, do you really have a secret? Oh, please tell me." Aang approached cautiously. "I'll be more careful this time, I promise."
Sokka looked at his friend out of the corner of his eye. He had his hands folded and a pout so pronounced that he seemed to be about to cry, at any moment.
"Don't look at me like that." Sokka murmured, even though he felt he was already on the verge to givin in.
It was funny, but seeing him like that reminded him of one of their old adventures. Not that Aang still behaved like a twelve-year-old, but lightheartedness had always been one of his characteristics, even after learning about the war; at least most of the time. That was one of the main reasons they got into trouble often, testing Sokka's patience. The strange thing was that instead of annoying him, that memory, made him want to smile .
"Alright, alright." He tried to calm his friend down but, despite everything, he couldn't hide the emotion when he said: "I want to ask Suki to marry me."
“Woah, Sokka! That's great, congratulations!" Aang exclaimed enthusiastically, his face lit up with a broad smile, then it began to fade. "Oh, that's a secret."
"You promised." He reminded him, serious.
"And I intend to keep my promise, don't worry."
Sokka breathed a sigh of relief and slid his gaze between the two in front of him, while they looked at each other happy and pleased, now complicit in having extorted that information from him. He didn't mind. Saying it had been almost liberating, he felt lighter. It was nice to tell someone and share that joy, even though there was now a real danger that Suki might find out. Especially with Aang around, but as long as they were apart there was no danger.
"Wait, did you want to do the marriage proposal without saying you love her first?"
Nevermind, it was a bad idea.
"Of course not—now stop talking about my love life." He blurted out, approaching the door. "Enough advice, I'm the oldest and I know better, and we have to go!"
Sokka retrieved the parka and lowered the handle, letting the cold hit his face as he heard his sister giggle behind him.
o o o
The customers's chatter at the Two Fishes Northern Cuisine filled his ears as soon as he stepped in the restaurant. It was exactly as he remembered. Simple but still a bit stranger, full of delicious smells that whetted his appetite.
He took off his parka, under the warm light of the chandelier, and looked for his father. He found him a little further away, sitting at the table with Malina and three other empty chairs.
He paused to look at them. They were just talking, about what was impossible for him to say, being too distant. His father smiled from time to time, followed by Malina soon after. They seemed happy.
The sound of the door opening behind him caught his attention. He saw Katara give him a questioning look, noting that he was still standing near the entrance, while Aang joined her shortly after.
Sokka shook his head, as if to say it was nothing, and together they started to reach the table.
"Ah, there you are." Hakoda welcomed them. "So Aang found you."
"Sorry, my bad." Sokka explained.
Hakoda made a casual gesture with his hand. "Before he went to look for you two, he started telling me about Cranefish Town."
Sokka stopped, one hand still on the back of the chair to push it away from the table. "Really?"
His father nodded, as they sat down. "It seems that there had been a revolt."
"Yes but we managed to stop it, at least for now." Aang replied, then added. "This is why I can't stay long."
"I understand." He said, apprehensive.
A cheerful expression returned to Aang's face as he turned to his girlfriend and his friend. “We didn't just stop the leader of the revolt, Sokka and I took part in the business council meetings. He had a lot of ideas."
Sokka glanced quickly at Aang, which he smiled back. He felt his throat go dry as the eyes of everyone sitting at the table turned to him. Funny, he found himself thinking, he would feel more comfortable around the council members, a group of strangers, rather than explaining what he was referring to.
"Um," he began uncertainly, "yes, I gave speeches, even though we couldn't reach an agreement."
“Politics is complicated. So many heads to convince." Hakoda sighed. "Ah, I wish I had listened one of those speeches."
That was enough to make Sokka smile.
"It was intense but I turned out to be pretty good at it, if you ask me." He explained, now, with enthusiasm in hearing his father's approval. “But I wasn't there alone, Aang was with me and, as he already said, we had to stop a rivolt with Katara and Toph, and Suki too. She was amazing, she taught the basics of chi-blocking to the police officers in one night—” he paused, embarrassed “what I mean is we all did our best.”
Hakoda laughed. "I have no doubt about it."
His sister gave him a smug look, while Aang giggled in the background, but Sokka could still feel the broad smile painted on his face.
"While we are waiting for someone to bring us dishes," his father changed the subject "there's something I would like to talk to you about."
Hakoda and Malina exchanged a knowing glance and, instinctively, Sokka sought Katara's eyes again. She looked as confused as he was.
What is happening? He wondered, hoping his sister could give him an answer somehow, Now they'll tell us they want to get married, it's proposal night, no more secrets from now on.
"As you know, there have been elections to appoint me the Head Chieftain of the entire Southern Water Tribe." Hakoda began to explain.
Oh, right, Sokka thought, that.
"But you are still my children and there is no one else in the world that I trust more for when I'm gone—"
"You're sick?"
"Something wrong?"
Sokka and Katara exclaimed in unison, leaning forward.
“No, no, you two calm down. I'm perfectly healthy,” he tried to reassure them, as he raised his hands “but, may the spirits help me, I wish I could retire one day and live my last moments; that are still very far away, in peace at home."
Sokka leaned back on the chair. Suddenly tired, as if someone had sucked the air directly from his lungs.
"But, as I was saying, you are my heirs and you could still become the Local Chiefman, or..." he looked at his daughter "Chiefwoman, and then decide what to do after that."
He saw his father hint of a smile and say nothing more as he intertwined his fingers with his hands on the table, waiting. Malina, instead, kept repeatedly shifting her gaze between him and his sister, still smiling, excited.
"I…" Katara was the first one to speak, but then she stopped.
Sokka turned to her and could see, from her expression, how surprised she was to be considered for the role of Chiefwoman. He wasn't, and a surge of pride lit up in his chest. His sister deserved it and he knew she would be capable of great things, if she accepted. It would also have been the first time in the tribe's history that a woman became Chiefwoman, regardless of who she married, without being a co-Chieftess.
Pride, however, was soon replaced by a grip that squeezed his stomach, when he remembered that the same offer had also been made to him too. He would have given anything, at that moment, to know what was going through Katara's mind.
"It's just a proposal, the choice is yours." Hakoda said, rousing him from his thoughts.
Silence fell again at the table, interrupted only by the arrival of the dishes. Although the smell of grilled meat tickled his nose, Sokka felt he was no longer so hungry.
o o o
The rest of the evening had passed rather pleasantly. Among the comforting flavors of tradition and new discoveries in typical Northern dishes, Sokka had done his best to avoid thinking about the future and enjoy the company of his family; despite his stomach in a knot.
Shortly after leaving the restaurant, after saying goodbye to their father and Malina, Katara had held him by the arm.
"Let's take a walk, shall we?" Although it had come out as a question, she hadn't seemed open to rejection.
He hadn't objected and said goodbye to Aang. When it was his sister's turn, he'd heard her say she needed to talk to him. Aang smiled sympathetically and he had left them alone, without asking any questions.
Now, they walked side by side through the streets of the city, still in silence. Even though the cold stung his cheeks, it was pleasant.
Sokka looked up at the sky. There weren't many stars visible, due to the lights in the buildings and in the street. He shifted his gaze, with his head still turned upwards; despite all those lights, the moon was still there. Noble, in all its glory. He smiled.
"I'm going to consider dad's offer." As soon as Sokka heard Katara say those words, he set his eyes on her.
"Yeah?" He only managed to say, a little surprised.
She nodded. "I wanted you to know it."
Sokka smiled. "You shouldn't worry about me."
Katara glared at him then, however, she smiled and he returned the gesture.
"Don't get me wrong, I'm really interested," his sister explained, stopping suddenly, forcing him to do the same "but I also know that there is something holding you back."
He sighed and looked away. As much as he appreciated Katara's concern, he had no desire to open the subject. He wanted to tell her to do what made her happy, to follow her instincts and go straight to their father to tell him, if that was really what she wanted. But a part of him wondered if he wanted to tell her that just so he could allow his sister to lighten the weight he felt on his shoulders, to avoid taking a decision himself, and he felt a little sorry for that.
"Years ago, you would have jumped out of the chair just on hear it." Katara continued, making him laugh. "What has changed?"
Sokka shrugged. "You said you're interested, would you ever have said that years ago?"
"Well," she murmured, thoughtful "no, but I never even thought our village could become a city."
"Yeah." He agreed, in a whisper.
"And I always thought you'd be the Chiefman of the village, since you're the oldest, but now it doesn't seem like what you want anymore."
"I don't know." Sokka said, sincerely.
"Why?"
"What if—" he tried to answer, then stopped. “I guess I'm not ready to give up on anything. Maybe I'm not the man that dad thinks I am."
Katara frowned. "Who says we have to give up on something?"
He turned to look at her widening his eyes, as if he had heard something nonsense. “It's certain. This is how the world works."
"We have already given up on so much." She whispered looking down, as if she were talking to herself and; spirits, she was right.
"Don't you think you have to give up on something, if you accept?"
"What do you mean?" Katara asked defensively, as their eyes met again. "You're referring to my relationship with Aang, don't you think we can make it work at the same the way you and Suki do?"
"No!" Sokka almost screamed. “I mean, no, I know you two could. It's just that—urgh, that wasn't what I meant."
Stupid, he told himself. He should have known that her relationship would be the first thing she would think about.
He and his sister were different people. The reason that prompted Katara to travel and act was that she never wanted to turn her back on those in need; it was one of the things he admired about her, and so it made sense that she didn't mind following Aang and helping him. She had to be aware, however, that she could make a difference to the Southern Water Tribe and help just as many people, not to mention that she would stop feeling homesick, and therefore the only waiver left was her relationship. Unlike Sokka, which the idea of stopping traveling and seeing the world continued to weigh on him.
He grunted, running a hand over his face, frustrated. He felt touched lightly on his arm and, when he lowered them, he was surprised to see her sister's face serene.
"I've always wondered how you and Suki do it, long-distance relationship seems harsh." She admitted with a hint of sadness in her eyes then, however, she smiled. “But I never doubted you both could make it work. Then today you even told me you want to ask her to marry you. I think I've always known."
"Really?" Sokka asked, surprised, feeling his heart start pounding in his chest because of the subject.
"Oh, yes." Katara asserted, resuming walking. "You still took me by surprise, but I knew it was going to be her."
"What?" Sokka followed her. "I'm sorry, and how long have you known?"
Shrugging, his sister gave him a smirk. "I like her."
"I know you do." He said, fondly.
"Don't make her run away."
"I have no intention of that." Sokka retorted, serious.
"Good." Katara nodded. "Although, I still don't understand how she hasn't already run away in these four years..."
"Hey." He exclaimed, feigning offense, making them both laugh.
"You know, I had already considered this hypothesis." She said, turning serious. "About me and Aang, I mean."
"Why?"
She stroked her arm, absently. “What if, one day, he goes where I can't follow him, or reach him, or if he can't go back. I mean, he is the Avatar."
"Katara." Sokka whispered, surprised. The calmness with which she said it, made him realize that it wasn't something she had only recently realised. "Did you tell Aang?"
Katara turned to look at him, confused.
He brought his lips together in a thin line, frowning, but he refrained from retorting and asked instead, “Why not? I think you should talk to him about what scares you. Trust me, you will feel better and, perhaps, later, you will realize that it was nothing."
"Now you give me advice on my relationship?"
"Hey." Sokka raised a finger at her. "It was you who wondered how Suki and I make it work."
Upon hearing it, Katara fell silent, letting her gaze wander in front of her. Then, she let out a long sigh.
"I'm fine." She tried to reassure him. "I'll be fine, maybe I just want to enjoy the time I have left." She corrected herself. "I guess this is the price to pay for being in a relationship with the Avatar."
“You can't know that for sure. Just because you're afraid of it doesn't mean it will actually happen." He let it slip. "I still think you should talk to him, just like you'll tell him you're considering staying here, right?"
"Of course!" Katara blurted out.
"Good. Don't fear his reaction, you are free to do whatever you want."
"I know that." She rolled her eyes. “And what reaction are you talking about, anyway? You know as well as I do hat he would be happy for me."
“Yeah,” Sokka considered, “you're right. Well, good for him, otherwise he should have to dealt with me." He added in his older brother tone, pointing to his own chest with his thumb.
"Sure, thank you." Katara snorted, sarcastically. Then, she changed the subject. "So, what about you, what are you going to do with dad?"
"I'll talk to him in the morning," he sighed, "and when I understand what I want to do, I'll make the marriage proposal to Suki."
"It seems fair to me." His sister smiled at him. "Everything is going to be alright."
“Now you are trying to cheer me up? When did the roles change?" Sokka joked.
"What are you talking about?" Katara looked at him sideways. "It has always been like that."
o o o
He stared at the stairs just outside the town hall for what seemed like hours. He looked the steps with no real interest as his mind tried to come up with a speech, to find the right words to say to his father. He knew what he wanted to ask him, but that didn't mean he knew how to do it.
"Sokka!"
He jumped, taken by surprise, to hear his name almost screamed suddenly. He was sure he had let out a small scream too, even rather high-pitched one. Turning to the source of that voice, he found Malina smiling at him. Or at least, that was before she noticed his expression.
"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."
"It's alright." He reassured her. "I was lost in my thoughts."
Malina turned to the town hall, then looked back at him. "Do you have to go in and talk to your father?"
"Yes," Sokka sighed "that or I'm waiting for the stairs to come to life to give me advice or devour me, I don't know what's best." He complained.
He heard her laugh. "You are really funny, Sokka."
"It wasn't really a joke—nevermind." He decided to let it go, even before he really tried.
"If you are looking for him, he is in his office." She informed him.
"Thank you, Malina." He smiled at her. The problem wasn't knowing where he was.
Sokka looked away but didn't move, and he was sure he could still feel the woman's eyes on him. In fact, it wasn't long before she asked, "Are you alright?"
He bit the inside of his cheek, unsure what to answer. He had accepted Malina as a new member of his family and he liked her, really; as much as he thought it was strange that she found everything he said hilarious, but opening up to her was something he had never done before and the idea of it still made him a little uncomfortable.
Sokka had always wanted to show himself strong for others, for his sister and for the people he cared about. Suki had been the first person he had let himself go with, showing her his vulnerability. She had shown him that there was no shame in being a leader with doubts and fears and, soon, he had learned to confide in her. But while it had become easy with Suki, he needed time with the others. And with Malina, well, he felt it was still too early for that.
"Yes, I'm fine." He replied, perhaps, more abruptly than he thought; without even meaning it. So, he hastened to add, "Sorry, I really have to go."
He went up a few steps and when he turned back to her, he tried not to give too much importance to Malina's confused expression.
"See you later." Sokka said wenting up the remaining steps and, without waiting an answer, he entered the building.
As soon as he stepped inside, he headed towards his father's office trying not to make eye contact with anyone. He rapidly walked down the corridor, quickening his pace, as if he feared that if he stopped he would never find the strength to walk again.
He reached the door and took a deep breath. He knocked and he hated the way his hand hesitated, feeling like a child again.
"Come in." Sokka heard his father say from inside, in an authoritative tone.
He peeped through the door but stayed where he was. Hakoda was sitting at his desk, bent over, reading and signing some documents.
The rays of the morning sun came in through the large window, hitting the center of the wide room. The office seemed even bigger than he remembered, or maybe he was starting to imagine things. Still wearing the parka, he suddenly felt warm.
His eyes were captured by the map of the Southern Water Tribe hanging behind his father as, with hesitant pace, he approached causing the wooden floor creak.
Hakoda lifted his head, attracted by the noise, and his expression immediately relaxed as he saw who it was.
“Hey, dad. Do you have a minute?"
He smiled, straightening his back. "Always, for my children."
Sokka smiled back as soon as he heard it, pulling off his parka and placing it on one of the armchairs.
"What's the occasion of the visit?" Hakoda asked, getting up from the chair. "It's because of last night, isn't it?"
Sokka refrained from making a face. It seemed that suddenly everyone knew what was going through his head, except him. "Yes."
His father nodded, then walked past the desk to approach. "You looked pretty nervous."
"Sorry."
Hakoda laughed. “It wasn't a scolding, Sokka. It's fine."
He looked down in search of the right words again and wondered, once again, why it was so difficult. Part of him knew it well. He was still his father and Sokka didn't want to disappoint him in any way. What he thought of him was important, and when his father had told him he was proud of him, it had filled his chest with joy. He didn't want what he was going to tell him to change that feeling in any way.
Sokka saw him approach the window staring out, absorbed.
"I left you a lot responsibilities when I left." Hakoda said, drawing his attention. "Years ago, I talked to Katara about it but I never had the opportunity with you."
"Dad?" Sokka called him, surprised.
"There are days when I still think about it." He crossed his arms over his chest, still staring in front of him. "I felt it was my duty, painful as it was, and you two had to grew up fast and alone."
"We weren't alone." Sokka hastened to say, feeling his throat tighten.
It was true, it hadn't been easy, but he didn't want his father to continue to feel guilty for doing what he thought was right. If he had been in his position at the time, he probably would have done the same. Now, with what he knew and the experience gained over time, he was no longer sure but he had never blamed him for it. He understood his father's intentions, he knew what it meant to want to protect loved ones. At the time, they were just a small village and, deep down, Sokka had always known that his father had believed that the Fire Nation would never return to the village once their purpose was achieved; despite the fact that he had entrusted him with the welfare of his sister and the entire village. No one could ever have predicted that he and Katara would find the Avatar and attract the attention of the Fire Prince.
Plus, he was grateful for everything Gran-Gran had taught him and Katara during his absence.
"I'm sorry, Sokka." Hakoda whispered, turning now to look at him.
No, he thought, I don't want to hear it.
But the tears had already begun to tingle his eyes and, to avoid meeting his father's filled with sorrow, he lowered his head. He swallowed hard as he heard footsteps coming closer until he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up and found an affectionate smile to greet him.
"You did good. You took care of your sister."
Sokka shook his head. "Katara did the same to me." He let out a wet chuckle. "We took care of each other."
"I know." His father said proudly.
Hakoda tightened his grip, before lowering his arm. “The war has forced you two to make many difficult decisions, in the past. I don't want you to feel that way anymore, I want you to choose freely, to make a decision because that's what you really want to do."
H is father sighed. “I have offered to you and your sister to take my place, not because you feel compelled to accept but because I want you to have a complete picture of the opportunities this new world has to offer. The future you both have conquered and deserved."
Sokka listened to him in silence.
"The choice is yours alone." Hakoda continued. "It's time you think about yourself, Sokka."
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, grateful for those words. When he opened them, he looked at his father with more determination and smiled.
"Thank you, dad." He said sincerely. "In this regard, I would like to ask you for more time to make a decision."
"Of course."
"And one more thing too." Sokka added, casting a glance out the window. From there, it was possible to clearly see where he had been mulling near the stairs before being interrupted. Where Malina had been standing, now, there was no one. Only emptiness. "I'd like to ask you to give me some months to travel, before giving you my answer."
"You have always been curious." His father murmured fondly. "You're an adult now, you don't have to ask me for permission."
Sokka let out a liberating laugh. He felt much better now.
"Can I ask you something too?"
He felt his heartbeat speed up, but he nodded.
"Before you leave, I'd like you to take some time to see what you can do here." Hakoda explained. "Just to make sure you make the right choice."
Sokka smiled. "It seems like a fair compromise to me."
"Good." His father exclaimed, putting an arm around Sokka's shoulders to make him turn, so that their eyes were directed at the map hanging on the wall. "Where do you want to start?"