Chapter Text
The life of a bodyguard is one full of threats danger and all around excitement.
Well anyone who told you that is either ignorant or lying, in reality it's just standing around a bunch of people who have more important shit to do like your just a statue, Emilia has to study for the election Rem and Ram for some reason are the only two maids in the mansion, or well I should say Rem is the maid Ram is trying to invent a profession where all you do is waste time as that all she seems to be doing, honestly I was expecting demon hordes and lords to be the problems in this new world not fighting boredom.
This day alone made me realize how I took the internet for granted, why couldn't my life be reincarnated into a world of superhero's or something like that?
I sighed as I murmured
"Might as well make myself useful."
As I did I headed to the kitchen and entered only to see Ram peeling some potatoes, or well tatos now.
"Need help with those?" I asked as I picked up a knife and a tato.
"Hah do I appear so useless as to require help from a Barusu." She said, but did nothing to stop me.
"Did you just turn my name into a curse word?" I asked genuinely amazed at her level she seemed to hate me, or is it just joking around I aren't exactly well socialized so I could be mistaking the two.
"Your existence is a curse upon the world." She declared as I sighed and turned my attention to the tato in front of me, wile I have never cooked before I have been born with a talent for cutting things so said skills should transferee here, and well they did after a second the tato was cut in a perfect circle all it's skin on the table, I turned to look at Ran's face filled with shock at the perfectly shaped fruit in my hand, this lasted for but a second as she turned to me and said.
"Stop looking at my beautiful face with such lustful eyes Barusu." She sap, venom evident in her voice which was weird because.
"I am pretty sure my face hasn't changed whatsoever." I said.
"Hah your attempts to hide your perverseness are absolutely pathetic." She said raising her head proudly.
"...I can't really win with you." I said as I kept peeling potato's.
"Naturally you are going against myself." She said holding her head up high.
"If I am so pathetic is beating me such an achievement?" I said trying to use her logic against her but.
"Ha so you have finally realized your own incoherence Barusu." It backfired immediately, honestly at this point all I could was raise the Fren-White flag here.
"Ah Why do I even bother, how many more tatos should I peel?" I asked rezoning she couldn't turn that in to an insult.
"Ha are you so pathetic you have never even cooked I suppose swinging a sword is all you are good at." I reasoned wrongly apparently I guess sassing back is my only option here.
"I'm sorry but I don't know how big the number "Ha are you so pathetic you have never even cooked I suppose swinging a sword is all you are good at." is could you say it in you know actual numbers." I said ignoring her insults, I may not be the best at social interactions but I am pretty sure there is no malice coming from her... Probably.
"...Nine." Was that so hard to say?
"Thank you." I said trying to show my gratitude for her cooperation.
"It is only natural that I help someone as pathetic as Barusu." ... Baby steps Subaru baby steps.
"Thank you for your kindness Nee-sama." I said.
"Ha have you finally realized my greatness useless barusu."... Correction Inset steps.
"I was being sarcastic." I said as I continued to peel eight more potato's and dealing with Ram's remarks.
...
"Hey Rem do you need some help?" I asked Rem as I saw her Shaping the bushes of the garden.
"No I am quite capable of handling this myself." She said, I suppose she could have some pride in her profession and me just coming around like that could come off as condescending I should probably rephrase that.
"I see well do you want some help, I doubt taking care of the entire garden is easy for one person." I said offering my help in a more friendly manner, advice I got from my cousin and wile he meant it for when I was offering advice about swords It is probably applicable here as well.
"...Have you ever dose such a job." Asked Rem.
"Well no but I think I can handle a sword pretty well so I should be able to shape some bushes right?" I was once again coming off as condescending but I also wasn't about to lie as it would only serve make our relationship worse.
"Do as you please." She said as I nodded, picked up a pair of scissors meant for shaping the bushes and with the help of the see-through world and copying Rem I managed to get the handle of things pretty quick.
"All done what do you think?" I asked, as Rem looked at my work with slightly widen eyes.
"...I thought you said this was your first time doing such work." She said looking at me with skeptical eyes.
"Yea I just looked at what you were doing and copied that." I said leaving out the see-through world explanation.
"I see so that is why you were staring at me and not just your perverseness." She said. "You're Ram's sister alright." I said noticing the similarities.
...
I walked in the bathhouse to find it empty a bath was already ready at the perfect temperature, I slowly waked in it and let out a deep breath, I decided I would enjoy a bath once again my motivation was sheer boredom, thinking about it now not much has changed from home as I am once again trying to stave off boredom back then through video games now through helping out the maids.
'I guess I haven't changed much huh.'
"Mind if I join yooooou?" I heard a voice call out to me.
I turned around and saw a naked Roswaal standing over me.
"No." I deadpanned.
"Ha ha, I appreeeeeciate your hooooonesty Subaru-kun but this plaaaaace is part of my dooooomain and as my employer aren't as welllllll?" Said Roswaal holding my chin, yea I have no proof but i would not be surprised if this guy got caught with child porn.
"I certainly don't see it that way." I said as I made way for Roswaal in the bath who now seemed far calmer than when we first meet, back then he had almost seemed scared, I thought it was because he is a mage so probably week physically and I am a swordsman and he felt scared being so close to someone so dangerous, but given his body and how calm he seems here that probably wasn't the case.
"Hoooooow has your tiiiiiime in the mansion beeeeen Subaru-kun, I heard you have been helping the maids out." Said Roswaal questionably.
"Well in all honesty the main motivation is boredom and given there are only two maids in this mansion there was plenty of work to be done, speaking of which why are there only two maids in such a big mansion?" I asked raising my voice by the end.
Probably not a smart way to talk to your employer but well I already did and It's not like I can turn back time.
"I assuuuuure you Subaru-kun Rem and Ram can handle all the duties in the mansion espeeeeeeecially with you aaaaaaiding them." Said Roswaal smiling widely.
"That's not the point, besides you don't seem to be someone so cheap as to do this out of greed so I am assuming there is something else." I said looking straight in to Roswaal's eyes, and despite sounding like the start of a yaoi fan fiction, Roswaal's eyes turned sharp as he tried to figure out something from my expression but given I basically never have one he naturally got blank.
"You will find oooout in duuuuuue time Subaru-kun." Said a smiling Roswaal who just got a lot more annoying to deal with, but alas all I could do was sigh and leave the bath.
...
And another day of helping out the maids in hindsight It might have been better to just become a butler as that is all I am doing after all, although I might have had to wear a butler suit so It might still be better that I didn't, but man the Isekai experience is as boring as real life although I don't know how accurate that term is, still all I could do Is sigh.
"I don't think you should bother helping if that is the attitude you're going to take." Said a pink haired girl.
"I would if you would actually doing your job instead of drooping it on me and Rem." I said as I turned to look at Ram standing arms crossed and "Overseeing" me and Rem cleaning a guest room it would appear that I am the only one bothered by this.
"It is alright with Rem she need her sisters supervision." Said Rem siding with her sister now I might not have siblings but I am pretty sure siblings don't take each others sides no matter what.
"I saw you work all day and I can assure you, you don't." I said slightly razing my voice.
"I assure you Rem is need of Nee-sama my work otherwise is unsatisfactory."
"You wouldn't notice it if it wasen't or if you did you would fix it." Rem was her sisters opposite as she was quite reserved and all but prideful which is ironic given she has plenty to be prideful of.
"Barusu enough if your excuses and get back to work." Said Ram raising her head to look down on, honestly if she tried harder she might have pulled a Boa Hancock, but clearly Ram and hard work were as far apart as me and by birth town.
"You know normally I'd just drop the broom and say do it your damn self if you are so capable, but I know you would just drop this on Rem." I said looking directly at Ram.
"Are you implying I don't love my sister enough to help her out." Said Ram with a sharp look that would scare the devil, but I was honestly too pissed to care for it.
"There is no implication about it you are clearly demonstrating it." I pointed out to which Ram responded with a simple.
"Hah you are showing your lack of brain capacity as you seem to have forgotten I am overlooking my dear sisters work." I just sighed and decided to give up on the argument but not without one last sass back.
"Forget it I have better things to do." First by setting up a trap.
"Such as?" Asked Ram.
"Talking to a brick wall for starters." I said finishing my job leaving the room and a frowning Rem and a speechless Ram.
...
Damn that was a good one might use it again, but for now I just have other jobs to do after which I will spend time with my cute Emilia-tan, but as I opened the door I found myself in a massive library with a little girl in a victorine era dress twin blond braids and a small crown on her head.
"How can you brake my door crossing so easily In fact." She said pissed off at what I assume was her reading time, which seems to be all the time.
"I just sorta opened the door, but that's not important a little girl shouldn't spend all her time alone with her noose in a book, you will end up all alone." I said as I started dusting off the books on the shelves deciding this room also was in need of cleaning.
"Betty doesn't need your advice I suppose Betty is a great spirit a mere humans advice is useless to someone like Betty in fact." She protested still just looking at her book seemingly as to say I aren't even worth her notice, ironic given all the insults thrown my way but still.
"Ever heard the term don't shoot the messenger, I am saying this for your sake trust me I was the same and I know how horrible loneliness is." I said trying to relate to the little girl.
"...Don't compare your measly existence to Betty I suppose you don't know anything about Betty In fact." She said venom clear in her voice.
"Your right I meet you all of yesterday but that you are lonely to me at least seems self-evident." I said causing her to go quiet, before I felt a wind pushing me away from the bookshelves towards the door, in all honesty I could resist it but I have walked in her room and started chastising her for being locked in all day it's obviously she wouldn't want to hear me out, I have done this with so many teachers and so often even with my own parents I should have known this wasen't going to work.
'What the hell are you doing you moron you are acting like all those teacher as if it did something you of all people should know better how could you be so dumb as to try exactly what they did?'
"Myyyyy youuuuu seeeeem to have made Beatrice-chan angry Suuuuubaru-kun."
Oh god why of all people in this mansion even Ram would be better now.
"It would seem Beatrice-sama put Barusu in his place Roswaal-sama." Oh neverminded she didn't send me to the person I least wanted to talk to she send me to the two people I rather not talk to right now.
...
'Annoying human acting as If he know Betty's pain In fact'
I closed the book full of inked pages in my hand and went for the blank one I had hidden, as I flipped through the pages I saw the same thing I had been seeing for the last four centuries the pure white pages had not a drop of black in them not a single symbol.
'What dose a human know about loneliness and that Betty's loneliness is self evident well what can he do about it it's not like he'll utter those words and Betty will finally be free, but he can't do that, he was hired as a mercenary so he could at least end Betty's misery but that is not what he dose all he dose is utter some hollow words and act as if he has the solution'
I clutched the book as if that would help prevent the tears from leaving my eyes why had mother even made it possible for such a thing to happen? why did she have to give Betty eternal life? so that she might experience the pain of loss more than anyone in this world? Why did mother give betty such a task? Why couldn't he just say those words and have Betty die so this torture ends? Why can't anything go Betty's way? Why has the world decided to punish her? What was the sin she had committed to require such a repentance? Was it her sloth at Sanctuary failing to save the people there through her door crossing was it even possible is not relevant she should at least bothered trying.
Tears finally left my eyes as they fell on the blank pages.
'Ah if only that had caused words to appear'
As the pointless hope faded from my heart the irrationality of it made me scoff, why was I even exiting it to do something life is no fairy tail all I can do is wait for someone walk through that door and declare themselves that person.
"He should have just said I am that person and cut off my head in fact."
And so my tears betrayed me for the first time in years as I made sure no one would walk on me in such a state not even Buddy.
...
A few days had passed and I had formed a routine of waking up making myself some tea checking the mansions surrounding for anything suspicions talking to Emilia-Tan and unfortunately Puck helping the Maid's all day eating talking to Emilia checking the surroundings again after all night is the ideal time to attack after inevitably finding nothing finally going to bed, honestly the checking the perimeter was more me trying to justify my position as a bodyguard than anything else as in all practicality I was a butler in all but name, although this meant If Emilia-tan asked fir something as her body guard it was my duty in particular to get it for her so that is a pro of my official position.
Just this morning well morning for Ram at least I had walked in to Rem dressing her sister after I had made the absurd assumption that Ram a maid of the mansion was not the last inhabitant of the mansion up and dressed even beating the cat as such I had been further dubbed a pervert but well what's a few more years to a life sentence I guess.
"Sigh." That was all this morning as of now I was done cleaning the mansions front gate when I notice someone.
"Hm where are you going Rem?" I asked as I noticed she was leaving the mansion.
"I am going to resupply in the village." She said calmly, while Ram showed pure discussion to my very existence Rem seemed indifferent she didn't seem to have an opinion of me any more than a coworker or someone I know, she is just far too distant someone who people just don't seem to be able to connect with...
"Hold on I'm the same." I thought out loud causing Rem to give me a confused look.
"Sorry was talking to myself, but do you need help with carrying the supplies?" I asked.
"It's fine I can carry all of them by myself." She said, god am I this hard to get along with no wonder no one approached me.
"Even if you can carry all of them, it's annoying to carry many things so let me help you there." I said, I honestly don't doubt that Rem is far stronger than she looks given how she has basically been taking care of the mansion by herself for god knows how long, so in stamina alone she is superhuman this should probably apply to other things.
"Do as you please." Said Rem, as she began walking and I followed.
"Feel free to ask me for help whenever you need it Rem taking care of an entire mansion by yourself is a incredibly hard job I will gladly help you out." I said trying to strengthen my relationship with Rem, and wile friendships are supposed to be a connection between people there certainly is a utilitarian aspect to them as well you ask your friends for favors and the like you wouldn't ask something of someone you don't trust but you have to put faith on someone initially in order to find out if you can trust them, this will normally be done through small tasks after which the friendship grows stronger after which bigger favors follow and so on friendships are created, or well that's what I've read about I don't know how healthy it is to base your relationships with on such advice but I am desperate enough and not having relationships with people Isn't a great substitute.
"It's quite alright I have Nee-sama to help me with my duties." Said Rem somewhat showing some emotions when bringing up her sister.
"Allegedly." I deadpan causing to look away slightly frowning wanting to defend her sister but being unable to.
"...Nee-sama can preform any duties far better than Rem." She said trying to build her sister up by putting herself down.
"I'd certainly love to see her do any of those thing so I suppose that is one thing you are better than your sister at." Also breast size but I'd rather just down the Eifel tower than say that out loud.
"What exactly?" Asked Rem seemingly actually not understanding what I meant.
"You are far more disciplined than your sister." Honestly this was one thing she couldn't deny not after she woke Ram up dressed her and made her tea just this morning this was a truth that could not be den-
"No Nee-sama is far more disciplined that me." Oh she is delusional.
"Oh you're just messing with me." I said trying to make sense of a square circle.
"I am not joking whatsoever." She said.
"Did you not wake Ram up this morning?" I asked.
"Yes." She responded.
"And dress her" I said.
"Yes you pervert." She responded.
"And make her tea." I said
"Yes." She responded.
"Did you do and or redo all of her tasks?" I said.
"Yes." She responded.
"So In what way Is Ram the disciplined one." I asked. "You just cannot grasp Nee-sama's greatness." She said causing me to sigh. "I guess we aren't coming to an agreement here huh." I said, honestly Rem's straight up idealization of her sister is depressing I don't think this is how all younger siblings see their older ones but it was didn't seem normal to me but alas there was nothing I could do after meeting her for all of five days.
"I suppose you shall remain ignorant of Nee-sama's greatness." she said.
After arriving to the village I helped Rem with lifting the supplies wile doing so I saw the kids playing with a dog, I decided to go play with them and wile messing around with them only to get bit my the dog, after which I noticed the dog had bitten almost all the kids except the blue haired one named Meili, to which I said. "You are good with animals aren't you Meili." This caused her to jerk upwards slightly, it appeared as If I was the only one to notice it. "Ah yes I do love animals, I want hundreds of them." I smiled at the little girl's naïve dream but also her ability to act properly despite being surprised she appeared to be quite disciplined. "A hundred might be a bit too much but I am sure you will find many." I said as I went back to Rem and helped carry the supplies to the mansion. "You seem to like kids." Said Rem and for the first time in these five days she was the one to start the conversation. "They didn't seem to like me though." I said the kids weren't exactly friendly with me they kicked bit and all around were small little shits. "Kids are like animals they know when it's alright to belittle someone." Said Rem. "Speaking of animals that puppy bit you as well right?" I asked as Rem nodded.
"Is it alright to let such a dog with kids it bit them as well It won't do damage now but if it grows up then it will be a problem." I said implying it was better to just kill the puppy for as cruel as that sounded.
"Well the dog will either be tamed or the adults will kill it and say it ran away." Said Rem.
"I guess so let's just hope the kids don't get hurt too badly before that happens." I said as we continued to walk towards the mansion.
...
"Where are you going at this hour Barusu." I hear Ram call to me as I was about to leave the mansion, me and Rem had placed all the supplies at the appropriate places, well Rem I was stuck in a loop of picking up an item looking around a bit before giving up and asking Rem where to put it.
"I'm doing a patrol around the mansion to see if there is anything suspicions." I said already thinking up of a counter to whatever snarky remark Ram was going to throw my way.
"I see." She said.
"At lea- wait what?" I asked as I turned to look at her surprised.
"Hm is there something wrong." She said.
"No I was just expecting some snark remark." I told her.
"I believe I have made my opinion of you quite clear." She implied that she was done with these snarky remarks and games.
"But it appears your Barusuness is preventing you from noticing it so It seems I will still have to waste my breaths with you. She said with a sigh.
"There it is, also what's with turning my name in to several blinding curses?" I asked as Ram raised her head with a "Hah" and turned around and left, causing me to sigh as I went on my patrol.
As usual nothing happened as I reach the gates of the mansion I suddenly felt something I never knew I had leave my body similar to what Beatrice had done.
"Hey I know I said somethings to piss you off but this is a bit of a overreaction no?" I said as I continued walking up to the mansion trying to find Beatrice, strangely enough my conciseness did not leave me as I continued to walk through the corridors I kept looking for Beatrice.
"Hey I get it your mad but I really feel like I might die this time." I said hoping for her to stop, only to be disappointed but it should be fine right she should know how much of this I can handle right?
But the pain did not subside no It kept getting worse, I was honestly starting to worry she might be out for the kill, but It's going to be fine I found Beatrice's library I will politely or even not so politely ask her to stop messing with me, as I opened the door she was the first to speak.
"What a horrendous man In fact coming to Bettys library just to die I suppose." She said.
"Die huh yea It really feels like that's what's happening so could you please stop this alright I'm sorry for what I said earlier but this getting ridiculous." I said as she looked at me like I was an idiot.
"How presumptuous In fact to assume Betty is doing such a terrible thing I suppose." She said as my eyes widened.
"If not you then who?" I said shocked.
"I don't know." She said.
"Then what's going on!" I said worry now evident in my eyes.
"You were cursed I suppose."
"How do I get rid of it." I said immediately after.
"Kill the person that cursed you, but that is beyond anyone's ability right now In fact." She said looking at her book.
"So I'm going to die?" I asked terror filling my face.
"...Yes." She said looking away.
"N-no..." I said as I turned to leave Puck should be able to do something or Roswaal yes he is the greatest mage in the kingdom he has to be able to do something.
'What if he can't?'
'No no I mustn't think like that there has to be a way to make it out alive I was isekaied I have some great purpose here I won't die like this.'
'Am I really some special guy?'
'Yes yes I am I have to be I was born to the greatest swordplay clan of the modern day I have been summoned to another world of course I am meant for more.'
'Was Elsa all I was summoned for?'
'No no stop it you will survive you have to I don't want to die.'
"I don't want to die"
"I don't want to die"
"I don't..."
'Please anyone help me' As I failed to whisper my final pathetic words my soul left my body and as such.
Natsuki Subaru died.