Chapter Text
Steve hadn’t been able to take his eyes off of Max since they had all managed to regroup at the Wheeler’s basement. He knew she felt it too, knew she probably didn’t appreciate his overprotective watch, but he couldn’t look away. He knew that the image of her convulsing as she floated away from the ground would become a permanent fixture in his nightmares for years to come, right along with the haunting thud of demodogs on a bus and the nauseous feeling of unknown Russian drugs streaming through him.
As the group settled down for the night in the Wheeler’s basement, and it was determined that there should be a ‘Max Watch,’ he found himself volunteering for the first watch and then sitting down on the bedraggled couch next to Max. They watched in silence as the other members slowly began to pass out from exhaustion, and in the silence Steve couldn’t help but listen to the lyrics of Max’s favorite song, committing it to memory.
And if I could
I’d make a deal with God
And I’d get him to swap our places
It wasn’t until Nancy’s gentle snores began to fill the room that Steve dared to speak up. “I’m no musical genius like Robin, but ‘m pretty sure that’s one hell of a depressing song.” Max just shrugged her slim shoulders.
You don’t want to hurt me
But see how deep the bullet lies
Unaware, I’m tearing you asunder
There is thunder in our hearts
Is there so much hate for the ones we love
As the chorus came back stronger, Max wound the headphone cord around her finger. “It’s not really. It’s actually kind of,” she paused, looking carefully around the room as if to make sure no one else was awake. “Comforting. To know someone else knows how it feels.”
“How what feels?” Steve asked.
“To- to miss someone you’re not supposed to,” she whispered.
A dawning realization came over Steve. He knew he wasn’t as close to Max as he was to Dustin, or even Mike and Lucas, she had always been too independent to ask for advice the same way. But she was still a kid, one who had had to watch someone close to her die and she couldn’t talk to anyone about it because she assumed everyone hated Billy too much to empathize.
He shifted closer to her on the couch, leaning down to make their conversation seem as private as it could be. “I kind of know what you mean.” She abruptly turned her head around and dropped the walkman in her lap. “It’s not exactly the same,” he continued to explain. “I mean they’re not actually dead, but my parents- They’re not really there anymore. Haven’t been in years. I’m supposed to be happy about that right? I mean, teenager with a huge empty house. It was practically Tommy’s wet dream. But at night, when the parties ended and the house was empty again I just felt…numb. And lonely.” Steve rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed and uncomfortable as Max just kept silently staring at him incredulously.
Then within one breath and the next, Steve suddenly found himself with a lap full of Max Mayfield. Her hair tickled his nose as she dug her face into his neck, but he could also feel the shivers that wracked her small frame as she tried desperately to silent her crying. He just wrapped his arms around her and began rubbing small circles on her back. Remembering her words from earlier, he bit back the automatic reassurances he wanted to falsely promise her and simply let Kate Bush and synthesized piano chords ring out from the headphones crushed between them.
Come on angel
Come on darling
Let’s exchange the experience
The song played twice more before he felt her silent sobs begin to die down, and then just as quickly as she had flung herself at him, Max retreated to the farthest end of the couch. He could just catch a glimpse of red, puffy eyes behind her curtain of red hair. Another loop, and Steve gathered up the courage to speak again.
“I won’t promise that things will work out, but I can promise that this group,” he twirled his finger in a gesture meant to include everyone in the basement, “will do their damndest to figure this out and put a stop to the wizard’s curse.”
Max didn’t say anything in response, just gave a jerky nod before pulling the headphones over her ears and curling even tighter into the arm of the couch. Steve could still hear Kate Bush though.
If I only could
be running up that hill
With no problems