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"You didn't have to walk me home," Charlie tells Nick once they're standing outside his house. "Not that I don't appreciate it," he's quick to add as he gives Nick a shy smile.
Nick squeezes Charlie's hand and says, "Of course I did. This was a proper date, and I am a proper gentleman. Plus," he continues, as he leans in to kiss Charlie's cheek, "I also got to spend even more time with my boyfriend."
"Boyfriend," Charlie repeats, blushing wildly. "I don't think I'll ever get tired of hearing that."
"Good," Nick grins, "because I'll never get tired of saying it."
"Me either," Charlie agrees, which is the best reply he can manage for now. He wants to say something sweet and romantic, but he doesn't trust himself not to accidentally unleash any of his negative internal monologue.
He's been trying to get better about ignoring the nagging voices in the back of his mind, but some days he struggles with it more than others. Being with Nick certainly helps a lot, but Charlie never wants Nick to feel like he's becoming Charlie's constant pillar of reassurance, either.
Especially not when it comes to their relationship. Charlie always treasures every single moment they spend together, but he can't help worrying that he's suddenly monopolizing all of Nick's free time.
Nick had a thriving social life before they met, and now he rarely ever hangs out with anyone other than Charlie. It's an unfair trade-off in Charlie's opinion because he's never considered himself to be a particularly interesting person.
He would never admit that to Nick though.
He also knows that Nick would emphatically disagree, and that fills Charlie's heart with indescribable joy. Despite the self-conscious thoughts that creep into his mind sometimes, Charlie would never doubt Nick's feelings for him or the sincerity of his kind words.
"You're my favorite person; I need you to believe me" he had told Charlie on Sports Day, and Charlie had never felt more loved than he did in that moment. Well, until Nick decided to publicly declare their relationship status to anyone within earshot at the beach, that is.
So now, Nick is officially his boyfriend, and what's even more amazing is the fact that he finally wants to come out to their friends and family about it. Not that Charlie had any problem waiting until Nick was absolutely ready, but he's undeniably ecstatic about them being more open about their relationship now.
Within reason, of course. Charlie is fully aware that the coming out process isn't easy, and he certainly doesn't want Nick to feel pressured or overwhelmed. (Especially not in front of homophobic twats like Harry Greene.)
"So," Charlie says as he fumbles with his house key. "Do you, maybe, wanna come in for a bit? My parents aren't home, but I don't think they'd mind anyway. I mean, if you want," he rambles because that's his default setting.
"Yeah, I'd love to," Nick beams, which floods Charlie with instant relief. He hates wondering whether or not Nick is just agreeing to be polite, but thankfully Nick's warm smile drives away that irritating doubt.
Once they make their way inside the house, they quickly dump all of their stuff onto the living room floor, which includes entirely too many prizes that they won for each other while playing games on the boardwalk.
"Char," Nick says suddenly as he reaches for Charlie and gently cups his face.
"Yeah?" Charlie replies as he leans into Nick's touch and rests their foreheads together.
"Hi," Nick giggles while dragging his fingertips along Charlie's jaw.
"Hi," Charlie echoes, grinning uncontrollably.
It's both thrilling and comforting in equal measure, and Charlie could spend forever like this, just being as close to Nick as humanly possible.
"You're staring," Nick teases as if he isn't the one who started this.
"So are you," Charlie counters without missing a beat. It's not exactly the best comeback, but it's hard to be articulate when every cell in his body is buzzing from Nick's touch.
Nick tilts his head slightly and nudges Charlie's nose with his own. "Can't help it. I guess I just really like looking at you," he admits just before closing the remaining space between them and giving Charlie a soft, lingering kiss.
"So I was wondering," Charlie continues a moment later when they break apart. "My parents won't actually be home until tomorrow night, so maybe you could sleep over? If you want to, that is. I know we have school in the morning, but Tori and I take the bus so we could all ride together. If you're okay with it, I mean since people might work out the fact that you stayed over - "
Nick cuts Charlie's rambling off with another kiss. "I definitely want to. I'll just wake up a bit earlier so I can run home and get my uniform and school bag in the morning."
"Really?" Charlie asks, eyes brimming with uncertainty. "It's okay if you don't. I know we were together all day, so maybe you want to spend time with your mum or cuddle with Nellie, or - "
Nick kisses him again, a little more firmly this time as he slides his hands up into Charlie's hair and runs his fingers through Charlie's curls. "I'd much rather cuddle with you."
"Nicholas," Charlie huffs when he pulls back slightly, "you can't just kiss me every time you want to shut me up."
"On the contrary," Nick says as he sways back into Charlie's space, "I think I can do exactly that." To prove his point, he brushes his lips against Charlie's once more.
"You're insufferable," Charlie laughs as he wraps his arms around Nick's neck and peppers his face with kisses.
God, he loves Nick so much.
He especially loves the fact that Nick would never actually interrupt him, not when it really matters. Nick is so patient with him, and always listens intently to every word Charlie has to say. Charlie just has a tendency to ramble when his insecurities flare up, so Nick also knows when it's time to intervene.
"Rude!" Nick gasps. "I am an absolute delight, and I will not tolerate this blatant defamation of character."
"Well," Charlie pretends to think a moment, "I suppose I could find a way to make it up to you."
"Oh really?" Nick gives Charlie an amused smile and adds, "and how do you plan on doing that?"
"We have the house to ourselves for the evening, and you know Tori won't bother us…" Charlie trails off as he drops down onto his couch and pulls Nick down with him.
"And?" Nick hauls Charlie onto his lap and pulls him close.
"And," Charlie continues, "that means there will be no witnesses if I'm nice enough to let you win a few games of Mario Kart."
Nick's mouth falls open in shock. "How is that making it up to me? That was just mean, so now I think you owe me twice," he pouts.
Charlie's eyes sparkle mischievously as he leans forward and murmurs, "did I mention there would be lots of making out?"
"Next time, lead with that," Nick laughs as he cradles Charlie's face between his palms and kisses him slowly.
💛
"You want some tea?" Charlie offers a while later after they finally pry themselves apart.
As much as he loves kissing Nick, Charlie also knows that Tori is lurking somewhere in the house, and he'd rather not deal with the horror of her walking in on them.
Not that they would be doing anything other than kissing, but it's still embarrassing.
They haven't actually progressed beyond the kissing stage yet, which is just fine with Charlie. He's not ready to take things any further, and he's pretty sure Nick isn't either.
Charlie has definitely thought about it though, (quite a few times, if he's honest) but he's only fifteen, and Nick has also just recently come to terms with his bisexuality. So for now, Charlie is more than content with kissing and cuddling, and he plans on doing excessive amounts of both tonight as long as Nick is willing.
"Yes please," Nick says as he pulls out his phone. "I just have to call my mum real quick and make sure it's okay to stay over."
"Okay," Charlie smiles as he reluctantly extracts himself from Nick's embrace and heads to the kitchen.
On his way there, he quickly texts Tori to let her know that Nick is (hopefully) staying over. She hasn't come out of her room yet, but she rarely does when Nick is around. Not because she doesn't like him, but because she's always courteous enough to give them privacy.
I figured, she replies immediately, and then, don't stay up too late.
we won't, Charlie promises before pocketing his phone and filling up the kettle.
💙
Just as Charlie finishes pouring the tea, Nick sneaks up behind him and slides his arms around Charlie's waist.
"Hey," Charlie says as he carefully moves their cups aside and spins around. "So, do I get to keep you for the night?"
"Nope," Nick shakes his head. "I'm afraid not."
"Oh." Charlie tries not to sound as disappointed as he feels, but he fails spectacularly.
"You get to keep me forever," Nick corrects as he tilts Charlie's face up for a kiss.
"Nick!" Charlie squeaks as he swats playfully at Nick's shoulder. "That was so cheesy."
"You love it," Nick winks and kisses Charlie again.
Charlie certainly can't argue with that. It may be a bit too early to tell Nick, but Charlie definitely wants to keep him forever.
Happily ever after, The End.
As far as Charlie is concerned, he wants to grow old with Nick Nelson, have at least two kids, and probably too many dogs.
He wants to always wake up to Nick's smiling face, and fall asleep to the rhythmic sound of Nick's breathing.
He just always wants Nick by his side. Through the good times, the bad times, and everything in between.
"Earth to Charlie," Nick says as he comically snaps his fingers. "You okay?"
"Yeah," Charlie blushes. He hadn't meant to space out like that, but that's just the kind of effect Nick has on him. His mind wanders constantly these days, always thinking about their future and imagining all of the amazing things they'll hopefully get to experience together.
"So you can stay then?" Charlie asks, just to be sure. Nick's mum is fairly lenient, but Nick has never asked to stay over on a school night before.
"Yep," Nick confirms as he tugs on the front of Charlie's shirt and drags him closer. "I'm all yours."
Charlie winds his arms around Nick's waist and gives him a hopeful look. "Forever?"
"Forever," Nick nods.
"I'm holding you to that," Charlie says as he surges forward and kisses Nick softly.
💛
"Can I ask you a silly question?" Charlie says a while later when they're curled up in Charlie's bed together that night.
"Always," Nick grins, warm and sweet as ever.
"When did you realize that you liked me? Like properly? Was there a specific moment?"
"Um, yeah," Nick laughs even despite the blush dusting his freckled cheeks, "probably the moment I typed 'am I gay?' into a Google search, I reckon."
"Now I regret asking," Charlie groans as he pretends to try and push Nick away.
Nick just tightens his hold around Charlie's smaller frame and kisses the top of his head.
"I'm kidding," Nick says, even though Charlie already knew that. He loves everything about Nick, but he especially loves that Nick's teasing is always fun and playful. It's never once been hurtful or mean, not that Charlie could ever imagine Nick being mean to anyone.
"Hmm," Nick muses while combing his fingers through Charlie's hair. "I'll have to think about that one for a while because there were so many moments, honestly. I mean, you quite literally had me at 'hello'," he adds.
"Oh God, I was so embarrassing," Charlie whines. "I knew I'd seen you around school before, but it's like I hadn't really seen you? And then you smiled at me, and God, I'm pretty sure I was done for at that moment."
"Wooooow," Nick teases. "So you were already swooning over me like thirty seconds after we met?"
"Shut up," Charlie groans. "I just told you how embarrassing I was, what more do you want from me?"
Nick smiles brightly and says, "Anything you'll give me."
"Now who's swooning?" Charlie smirks as he leans in and kisses Nick until he's completely breathless and blushing from the intensity.
They've shared every kind of kiss by now - soft, slow, firm, sweet, sometimes a bit desperate when they've gone too long without seeing each other - but Charlie thinks these kinds of kisses might be his very favorite. There is a deep satisfaction in knowing that he's the reason why Nick looks completely wrecked from just a kiss. With his tousled hair and flushed cheeks as he looks down at Charlie like there's no other place in the entire world he would rather be.
"What was the question?" Nick pants softly as he ducks down and nuzzles Charlie's neck.
"I forget," Charlie giggles. "I'm a bit distracted right now," he explains while tilting his head to give Nick better access.
"You mean distracting," Nick whispers against Charlie's skin.
When Nick starts kissing his neck, Charlie immediately freezes. It's not that he minds - because he really doesn't - but the evidence of his enjoyment is about to become embarrassingly obvious if Nick continues.
"Sorry," Nick frowns as he pulls back and turns to face Charlie. "I guess I got a bit carried away."
"No, it's not that," Charlie blushes. "Okay, well maybe it's a little that," he admits. "I just thought we should probably talk before things go any further."
"Further?" Nick blinks. Then his face turns completely scarlet as he finally makes the connection. "Oh, shit, no, I didn't mean to... I mean, I don't really think I'm ready for... I mean, we've only just... okay how about you talk now," he begs while burying his face into one of Charlie's pillows.
"Nick," Charlie says gently as he lifts Nick's face back up. "We should have probably picked a better time to have this discussion, but - "
"It wouldn't be us if we did that," Nick grins.
"Exactly," Charlie nods. "I'd ask why we're like this, but I'm pretty sure we'll never have an actual answer."
"Probably not," Nick agrees, and then, "So…"
"So," Charlie repeats. He knows what he wants to say, he just doesn't know how to get the words out without messing them up. Eventually what he settles for is:
"I'm sorry I made things weird."
"No," Nick shakes his head, "I'm sorry for crossing a line."
"You didn't, I promise," Charlie assures him, "It's just… um… well, my neck is a bit sensitive, that's all. So… yeah," he trails off, hoping he won't have to explain any further.
"Oh." Nick gives him a flirty smile and says, "can I file that knowledge away for later?"
"Definitely," Charlie replies because he is very much in favor of that.
"Okay," Nick continues as he runs a shaky hand through his hair. "I don't think there's an easy way to do this, so I'm just going to jump right in. I love this - us, like being together like this and I really love kissing you, but I don't think I'm ready for more than that yet. I wasn't purposely trying to take things further before, but well - "
"You were distracted," Charlie teases.
"Yeah," Nick admits. "Extremely. I promise I wasn't trying to go any further than just kissing, though. Not yet."
"Yet?" Charlie prods as he elbows Nick playfully.
"Well, I mean, yeah, like obviously I'm attracted to you, and I definitely want to go further one day, but only if that's something you want also. Otherwise, it never has to be anything more than this. Or it can be even less than this if we've gone too far - "
"This is good," Charlie interjects, "This is amazing, actually. I mean, yeah, this," he gestures between them, "but like overall, I mean. I'm not ready for anything more either," he clarifies, "but it's definitely something I want eventually."
"I have a proposition," Nick says, "and no, not that kind, I promise."
"You're such a dork," Charlie rolls his eyes fondly, "but go on."
"How about we put a pin in this entire conversation until we're ready to take the next step? And if there's anything we're feeling or thinking in the meantime, we can promise to talk to each other about it?"
"Deal," Charlie grins and seals it with a kiss.
💙
Half a pizza and four rounds of Mario Kart later, Nick - who lost badly - flops dramatically onto Charlie's bed and pouts. Literally pouts, which is far more adorable than it should be.
"So much for making it up to me," he teases Charlie as he reaches over and tickles Charlie's stomach.
"Hey!" Charlie squeaks. He tries to shuffle away but Nick grabs him around the waist and pulls him close.
"Get back here," Nick laughs. "Don't I at least deserve cuddles from my boyfriend after that annihilation?"
"You always deserve cuddles," Charlie agrees while rolling onto his side and settling into Nick's arms, "but it's not my fault that you're terrible at video games."
"I resent that," Nick smirks, but he doesn't look the least bit upset as he tips Charlie's face up and kisses him slowly. "So I, um, remembered something," he adds a moment later when he pulls back and reaches for his phone.
"Okay?" Charlie says as he sits up and gives Nick his undivided attention.
Nick sits up as well and says, "you have to promise not to make fun of me forever," as he hands Charlie his phone.
"I will do no such thing," Charlie objects, "but I can promise to go easy on you since I kinda like you."
"Just kinda?" Nick pouts again.
"Okay, immensely," Charlie corrects as he nudges Nick's shoulder. "Indisputably, unequivocally - "
"Show off," Nick says affectionately before cutting Charlie off with a kiss.
"So what did you remember?" Charlie asks when he pulls back and looks down at Nick's phone that he's still holding.
"The first moment I realized that I was developing a massive crush on this really cute guy in my form group," Nick replies.
"Nick," Charlie whines, "you like making me blush, don't you?"
"Yes, very much so," Nick nods. "You're even cuter when you blush," he murmurs against Charlie's mouth before lightly dragging their lips together. It hardly counts as a kiss in comparison to all the others they've shared, but it still sets all of Charlie's nerve endings on fire.
"Right, so," Nick continues before they get sidetracked again. He reaches down to unlock his phone for Charlie and opens Instagram. It only takes a few seconds of scrolling before Nick finds what he's looking for. "Here," he says as he taps on one photo in particular.
Charlie recognizes it immediately since he's the one who took it. It was from the day that Nick's fountain pen exploded, and Charlie accompanied Nick to the bathroom to help him get cleaned up.
"Here, let me try," Charlie had offered when Nick couldn't seem to make any progress. Charlie carefully held Nick's hands and tried to scrub them clean, but regular soap just wasn't cutting it.
Thankfully Charlie remembered that alcohol can usually help with ink stains, so he suggested they go ask the school nurse for some. It worked pretty well even though Nick's palms were still tinted blue for the next couple of days.
It's one of Charlie's absolute favorite memories because that's when he and Nick officially became friends. A few hours later, Charlie got a notification that Nick had started following him on Instagram, along with a DM that said: Thanks again! At least now I won't be blue forever!
In response, Charlie sent him literally every single blue emoji he could find on his phone.
"I don't get it," Charlie says because he's not quite sure where Nick is going with this.
"So the thing is," Nick begins as he runs a hand through his hair.
He normally only does that when he's nervous, so Charlie reaches for his hand and holds it tightly as Nick continues.
"My pen didn't exactly explode that day. I um, kinda broke it on purpose," Nick admits.
"What?" Charlie asks, eyes blown wide as he surveys the picture. It was taken before Nick got cleaned up, so he's doing his best impersonation of a shrug emoji, while proudly displaying his Smurf-blue hands.
"This is going to sound really dumb," Nick winces.
"I promise it won't," Charlie says as he gives Nick's hand a reassuring squeeze.
"Okay," Nick nods and threads their fingers together. "While I was heading to form that morning, I realized how much I was looking forward to seeing you. You weren't on the rugby team yet, and we don't have any actual classes together, so I was trying to think of a way to spend some time alone with you. So… yeah. I broke my pen on purpose before I got to form so I could ask you for help."
Charlie is in shock. Nick was willing to subject himself to public embarrassment just so they could spend some time alone together? There are so many things he wants to say to that, but what unfortunately comes out is:
"I love you."
Just like that. No warning, no consultation with his brain, nothing. "I mean - " he falters while quickly trying to figure out how to make this less awkward. "That wasn't… I didn't…"
Yeah, okay, he's way beyond damage control at this point.
Sensing his obvious distress, Nick cradles Charlie's face between his palms and holds him steady.
"You love me?"
Charlie does. He really does. He's known for a few weeks now, although he certainly wasn't expecting to admit it yet. He's only fifteen, which is probably too young to be in love, he realizes, but he knows what he feels in his heart.
And his heart loves Nick Nelson.
Nick is sunshine personified.
Nick is the rainbow after a storm.
Nick is the sprinkles on an ice cream sundae.
Nick is a warm blanket on a cold evening.
Nick is his, and he makes Charlie's life better in every imaginable way.
"Yes," Charlie says simply because it's the honest truth. "I know it's probably way too soon since we literally only put a label on our relationship a few hours ago, but I do love you, Nick. And I don't expect you to say it back," he quickly adds, because he absolutely doesn't want Nick to feel pressured, "but I definitely meant it."
"You love me," Nick repeats, but this time it's not a question.
"Um, yeah," Charlie blushes. "Was my awkward confession not obvious enough for you?"
"Say it again," Nick whispers as he gently sweeps his thumbs across Charlie's cheeks.
"I love you, Nicholas Nelson," Charlie says, proudly and confidently this time as he surges forward and captures Nick's lips in the sweetest kiss they've shared yet.
"I love you too, Charlie Spring," Nick pants softly as he gathers Charlie into his arms.
"Nick!" Charlie squeals, clearly delighted by Nick's confession. "Are you sure?" he asks as he slides onto Nick's lap. "I don't want you to feel pressured to say it back."
Nick shakes his head and says, "I don't feel pressured, I promise. I love you, and I've never meant anything more."
"Oh my God," Charlie says as he wraps his arms around Nick's neck and hugs him tightly.
Nick tucks his face against Charlie's neck and asks, "Want to know when I knew?"
"Yes!" Charlie squeals again as he pulls back to meet Nick's eyes.
"Okay," Nick laughs as he reaches down and plays with the hem of Charlie's T-shirt. "It was when I realized that you were trying to break up with me," he says quietly. "At the lunch table. You never finished your thought," he pauses to take a shaky breath, "but I knew what you were trying to say. And it crushed me to know that you blamed yourself for things that were absolutely not your fault, but I knew that I had to fix it."
"Oh, Nick," Charlie frowns. God, he suddenly feels like the worst boyfriend ever.
"This story gets happier, I promise," Nick smiles. "That's when I knew that I was in love with you and that there was no way I was letting you break up with me. Not unless it was really and truly what you wanted, since I will always respect your decisions."
"It wasn't," Charlie sniffs, and oh great, he's crying now. This would be much more embarrassing if he wasn't so ridiculously happy. "God, that's not what I wanted at all, and I'm so glad you didn't let me make the absolute worst fucking decision ever."
"Char," Nick murmurs as he gently brushes Charlie's tears away, "you can't get rid of me that easily."
That startles a laugh out of Charlie, which in turn has Nick laughing too.
"Dork," Charlie says as he playfully taps Nick's nose.
"Perhaps," Nick replies, "but I'm your dork."
"And you love me," Charlie adds, which is definitely not a question.
"And I love you," Nick happily agrees. "Indisputably, unequivocally - "
The rest of Nick's sentence is muffled against Charlie's lips as Charlie drags him forward and kisses him.
🍁🍂
'Cause the world goes on without us
It doesn't matter what we do
All silhouettes with no regrets
When I'm melting into you