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Chase sank down on the unoccupied side of the bench, glancing over at his former leader. Heart and alone didn’t go together. It was wrong. Heart, who cared so much, who took so many pains to surround himself with those he loved… alone. Perhaps that was what had kept Chase from walking away, from avoiding this chance encounter entirely. Perhaps that, perhaps it was only that Chase could never really bring himself to walk away from Heart.
“Chase.” Heart sounded surprised to see him. Chase supposed it was only reasonable, he’d been surprised to see Heart as well. He lifted his head enough to make eye contact; Heart’s gaze was expressive as always and Chase had to turn his head away after a moment, unable to hold the contact. He knew he’d hurt Heart but to be faced with the reality of the pain he’d caused…
“You seem lonely.” Chase explained, focusing on the way the sun glittered off Heart’s ring so he didn’t have to look at his face.
“Chase.” Heart repeated his name. Soft this time, affectionate. He reached up to brush Chase’s hair back and his hand trembled slightly. The tips of his fingers trailed down Chase’s cheek and Chase leaned into the contact. Heart was still warm, still comfortable. He still felt like home and family and comfort. “Worry doesn’t suit you.”
“It doesn’t suit you either.” Chase responded. Heart’s pulled his hand back and Chase curled his fingers into the fabric of his pants leg, fighting the urge to reach out for the lost contact. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“I know.”
“I’m sorry.” It made him feel sick, to have hurt someone who cared about him so much. Someone he cared about so much. To have broken their bond of mutual trust.
They were both silent for several moments until finally Chase looked up, daring to meet Heart’s eyes again. There was pain clearly written across Heart’s face, but there was affection in equal measure. This time Chase couldn’t help himself, didn’t want to help himself. He reached out for Heart, covering the few inches between them on the bench until he was pressed against Heart’s side, hand curling around the back of Heart’s neck. He leaned up and in and Heart met him halfway, hand coming up to grip Chase’s shoulder as they kissed.
It wasn’t a rough kiss, though it easily could have been. There was no anger there despite the pain and betrayal flowing between them. There was just a desperate need to express and to indulge. The kiss itself was slow and gentle, the sharp edge of hurt muted by the love they felt for each other. It made Chase want to curl into Heart’s side and cling to him, to never leave him again so he never had to be alone again. It made Chase want to be the only one who stayed instead of the first to leave.
The kiss seemed to exist outside of time. Chase wasn’t sure how long it lasted but when he eventually broke it Heart’s arms had wrapped around him, holding him as close as he could on the bench. Chase dropped his head to Heart’s shoulder, not willing to leave this world for the reality outside it yet. One last moment to pretend, one last moment to remember, one last moment to be anything but alone.
“I forgive you.” Heart’s words finally spurred Chase into action and he lifted his head, pulling away from Heart’s grasp. Heart let him go easily and somehow that made it hurt more, that Heart was so willing to let him go, that he didn’t even try to fight to keep him. But not because he didn’t care about Chase, rather the opposite. What was that human saying about letting something go if you love it?
On a whim, Chase pulled his own ring from his finger and set it in Heart’s hand. “Someday, maybe…”
“Someday.” Heart agreed and the smile on his face when he said it only served to make him look more alone than ever. There was no such thing as someday. It was only a lie and they both knew it.
Chase didn’t look back as he walked away. He didn’t need to. He could feel Heart watching him anyway.