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If Marriage Was an Olympic Sport

Chapter 6: Epilogue

Summary:

Shen Qingqiu might be a married-ish man now but he still had some responsibilities from his bachelor life to sort.

Notes:

This fic wouldn't let me rest and it demanded that I write an epilogue. So I wrote this in a frenzy, guys. I hope you like it.

I also changed some titles for consistency because holy shit. Like my sun sign, I'm an inconsistent idiot. This is why you don't write and edit while sleep-deprived my dudes.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

With the stupendous amount of points and the SYSTEM going on vacation mode (again), everything was suddenly quiet and peaceful. In the ensuing aftermath, it took Shen Qingqiu an embarrassingly long time before he found the strength to pull away from Luo Binghe's touch and let his more rational brain act.

It wasn't because he didn't want to or for any lack of trying on his part. It was because of Luo Binghe's face! Those fucking watery puppy eyes! The tiny wounded whimper! Whenever Shen Qingqiu tried to put some breathing distance between them! Or even if he turned his head away from a kiss!

What kind of heartless monster would Shen Qingqiu be if he were to deny his most beloved protagonist - and husband! - at this point?

Oh, his poor touch-starved Binghe.

And Shen Qingqiu couldn't find it in his heart to deny him anymore the moment he woke up to soft, barely suppressed sobs and Luo Binghe whispering, "You're here, you're here" as he clutched at Shen Qingqiu as if he was his lifeline. He could only hold him through the tide of grief and kick himself inside his mind.

So Shen Qingqiu swallowed any protests he had and did his duty as Luo Binghe's...husband by allowing the young man to stick close to him like sticky rice super glued onto his skin. He let Luo Binghe map his body with his hands and that sinful mouth until every inch of his body was a marked territory. 

Luo Binghe's touch was still rough, heavy with urgency and desperation. His kisses were still biting much to the dismay of Shen Qingqiu's sore lips, but they started gaining a sweeter and gentler undercurrent because of Shen Qingqiu's coaxing. It took him hours but at least he could now get a kiss that wasn't set on devouring his mouth at the slightest chance. 

They lounged in the bed together for the most part. In between their rounds of papapapa, they would take a bath and curl around each other, and trade some idle talk. They never mentioned anything about the abyss, which was a good thing on Shen Qingqiu's part because even though he read about it, it didn't mean that he would want Luo Binghe to go through all of that horrific shit again just to entertain him or sate his curiosity.

Time and time again, Luo Binghe would leave their cocoon to make a snack or a meal then insist on hand-feeding Shen Qingqiu. After the nth hand-feeding ensued make-out session, Shen Qingqiu took the chopsticks from Luo Binghe's hands and, red-faced, returned the favor.

Big mistake on his part.

On the second day, Shen Qingqiu drew the line at doing it more than twice every three hours. He never came so much in his entire lives. Youthful vigor was a terrifying thing. But a stallion protagonist’s youthful vigor? Holy fuck. Shen Qingqiu felt like a deflated balloon during the sixth round on the second day. Binghe , Shen Qingqiu thought, this old man is flattered that you find him attractive enough but the flesh can only go through so much!  

His jaw, his wrists, his thighs, his own dick, and his ass cheeks would be sore and chafed to hell and back if it weren’t for Luo Binghe’s blood parasites. 

It was a good thing that aside from the experimental fingering earlier to test the waters, his Binghe hadn't insisted on putting it in yet much to the relief of Shen Qingqiu's chrysanthemum. As a man born in the 21st century and with a closet fujoshi as a sister, he knew how important lubrication and stretching were - especially with a monstrous weapon that his protagonist possessed. 

Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on who was asked), they didn't have the supplies yet. And Luo Binghe himself confessed almost tearfully that he wanted to do it properly - which, included a marriage ceremony that would take at least three fucking weeks to prepare. Apparently, it wasn't enough that Shen Qingqiu was paraded as Lord Luo's bride, Luo Binghe wanted to make everything official according to human customs. He was even willing to be married to Shen Qingqiu instead as long as Shen Qingqiu said yes! 

So yes, Shen Qingqiu chose to put that off his mind for his future self to worry and focus on the present.

In short, the two days he spent in Luo Binghe's company were basically him being confined in Luo Binghe's rooms, with barely anything but a single layer of Luo Binghe's robes on. He didn't mind it. It was way more comfortable than the layers he had to wear because of the setting and his status. Plus it smelled like his Binghe!

Luo Binghe was warm and awfully snugly. His muscled chest made a surprisingly good pillow. He smelled so good and comforting, too. No wonder all those women fought each other just to have the chance to lay in those arms. Shen Qingqiu found it harder to pull away - in fact, he might actually fight any potential harem member for the honor which was a new low for him to ever admit out loud.

Fuck.

But, he had to admit to himself, that he barely remembered if there was a wife who got pampered like this after she was acquired by the protagonist. Each arc ended with her getting ushered into the harem and with brief cameos whenever Airplane bro needed her for papapa purposes. Well, it might be because this was new and for now, Shen Qingqiu was the sole member of the harem. For now, he thought despite Luo Binghe's fervent promises of him being the only one.

He selfishly hoped that it would stay that way for a while longer.

His mind started veering off into dangerous territories because he could get used to this. Yang Guifei who? Shen Qingqiu was going to be the most spoiled spouse of any nobility at this rate.

Zero stress? Check.

Warm bed? Check.

Good food and company? Check. Check.

His favorite person in this world? Check.

Contentment? Check.

No responsibilities? Well...

The only thing missing right now was a good book to read but surely, he had all the time to peruse the hidden libraries later. Luo Binghe promised him a tour of the palace and the libraries tomorrow.

However, as much as he would like to do nothing but bury his face in Luo Binghe's chest (his pecs were so plush, sue him) and raise both of his middle fingers to everything around him (because gods knew he deserved a fucking break), there was an annoying niggling sensation at the back of his head. It nagged at him in the comfortable silence whenever Luo Binghe was asleep or not distracting him from reality.

The thing was, Shen Qingqiu knew that he needed to get up and write letters to inform his sect that a) he was still alive, b) he wasn't kidnapped by his wayward disciple so everyone please put your weapons down and stop panicking, and c) yes, they're together. What was the source? Trust him.

But to do that, he needed to get Shang Qinghua in front of him ASAP.

On the other hand, he also had a feeling that Luo Binghe wouldn't like having someone else intrude on their time together but Shen Qingqiu was doing this for Luo Binghe's sake. Why make enemies when you could make allies? With his crisis averted, there was no reason for Luo Binghe to have any enmity with Cang Qiong Mountain Sect.

And Shen Qingqiu didn't want them to be a hindrance in the future, especially if they were to ever cross paths. 

So with that, Shen Qingqiu shook off the heavy remnants of this Binghe-induced brain fog and stretched his stiff muscles. He blearily opened his eyes as he lazily looked around the room. He caught the sight of their breakfast placed on the table. Ah, Binghe got up earlier to make their breakfast then crawled back to bed right after. Nice.

Under him, Luo Binghe stirred in his sleep. The arms around Shen Qingqiu’s waist tightened before a hand rubbed soothingly up and down his bare back. Fuck, it was almost enough to lure him back to sleep.

He felt that hand dip lower until it was cupping his ass. Shen Qingqiu's eyebrow twitched as he felt a Pavlovian response in his belly at that bold action. Binghe, it’s way too early!

Thankfully, Luo Binghe didn’t do anything else.

Luo Binghe’s long lashes fluttered open, revealing honey-sweet starry eyes that gazed down at him with so much adoration it hurt to even think about. A tender smile grazed his flushed and bitten lips as he raised one of Shen Qingqiu's hands to his face and kissed his fingertips one by one. 

Looking at him like this, Shen Qingqiu thought that getting stabbed in the gut by Xin Mo would ache less than the throbbing in his chest brought about by those actions. Ah, fuck. Be still, his heart.

He entwined their fingers together in response, unable to say anything. 

“Good morning,” Luo Binghe murmured, all sleep-roughened voice and soft eyes. as he brought their hands to his heart, right close to the scar.

Shen Qingqiu mumbled back the greeting, suddenly feeling shy. 

“What is husband thinking about?”

“Nothing," Shen Qingqiu answered quickly before he said something stupid and horribly cliche like "you."

Luo Binghe tilted his head, exposing the side of his neck which bore a deep imprint of Shen Qingqiu's teeth when the latter bit him back last night as vengeance for biting him way above his collar usually sat. Luo Binghe, the huge M, moaned so loud he shamed any porn star and came so hard that Shen Qingqiu was practically dripping with his come.

Shen Qingqiu's face cracked further, heat flaring in his cheeks at the sight. It looked worse in the morning! Why the fuck was it not healed yet?! 

In the back of his mind, he knew that bite marks were kind of a thing among demonkind. Something about claiming and all that shit. Yet, for the hundreds of wives the stallion protagonist had, none of those flowers - even the feistiest demonesses like Sha Hualing - dared to mark him in a place where everyone could see. Luo Binghe in PIDW never allowed that. He was the master, the lord, who would dare claim control over him? 

His Binghe, however, didn't get the memo. Seriously, was the young man intending to go into public with that thing on his neck? Oh, who was he kidding? That must be Binghe’s plan at the start! Give this old man some face!

Shen Qingqiu mentally sighed. He knew that it was an exercise of futility to talk Luo Binghe out whenever the young man got an idea stuck in his head.

Sending for Shang Qinghua on the other hand...

“It must be serious since my husband is hesitating to share it with Binghe,” Luo Binghe said, sounding like a kicked puppy. 

Shen Qingqiu sighed and sat up. He fixed his hair and his borrowed robes so it wasn’t falling off his shoulders. He heard a rustle of cloth and then Luo Binghe slid behind him. Shen Qingqiu allowed himself to melt back into the protagonist’s embrace - even tilting

"Husband?" There was a pout in Luo Binghe’s voice.

"This master must write letters and I need you to get your Shang-shishu,” Shen Qingqiu said and absentmindedly kissed Luo Binghe’s cheek. 

"Letters? Shang-shishu? Whatever for?" Ah, there it was. The petulance was getting more pronounced. Was Luo Binghe jealous? Shen Qingqiu was oddly endeared by that even though the idea of getting jealous because of Airplane Bro was ridiculous.

"Binghe," Shen Qingqiu said as he bit back the urge to laugh and tease him. "If this relationship is to be acknowledged by everyone then it is only proper that the sect must be informed. This master is still the peak lord of Qing Jing and I must also make arrangements for my absence in the foreseeable future. Your Shang-shishu is the only one who can deliver the letters without suspicion and he can also give me news about the current situation right now."

He heard a shaky exhale and, "You want everyone to know about us?"

Shen Qingqiu was dumbstruck.

Did - did Luo Binghe seriously think that Shen Qingqiu was going to hide them like this was a sordid affair with a mistress?

He took Shen Qingqiu away from a public event - a motherfucking marriage hunt - and in front of his two martial uncles! The rumor mill must be grinding harder than any celebrity news site right now. Luo Binghe even wanted to marry him even if the whole ass ceremony was private! What was even the point of denying things? Of course, Shen Qingqiu wouldn’t deny who Luo Binghe was to him right now. He was no heartless scum ML from those dog blood novels who took advantage of the MC just to discard her at the end. Of course, he would gladly take responsibility!

Besides, it wasn’t like Shen Qingqiu was a cut sleeve who went after his own disciples. Dear gods, Luo Binghe was his sole exemption!

Shen Qingqiu quietly turned around and faced the young man. And there it was, Great Lord Luo’s greatest weapon: his tears. This boy of his, Shen Qingqiu thought fondly as he wiped those tears away and pressed tiny kisses on his eyelids, his brow, his demon seal, the tip of that fine nose, and the trembling fullness of his lips.

“Don’t be silly,” Shen Qingqiu said as he pulled back. Luo Binghe held him tighter. 

“Why would this master hide who you are to him? Or does Binghe not like the idea of telling anyone else at the moment?” He cupped Luo Binghe's face.

"No! Shizun can tell everyone that this disciple is his husband or even his wife if he wants -”

Shen Qingqiu squeezed his cheeks gently. Some day, he was going to process how the hell the stallion protagonist sort of developed this strange housewife kink of his. But that day was not today.

“Mn. Now be good and send for your Shang-shishu after we have breakfast.”

 

—-



The office Luo Binghe let him borrow was sprawling and filled with dozens of dozens of war trophies. Some of which he could easily recognize at a glance like the skull of the last Bronze Horn Eagle Ape, the war ax of a forgotten demon god of war from the Eastern regions, and the holy jade statue of the Seven Ringed Twin-tailed Fish which was now used as a paperweight and was sitting on top of the desk made of black granite wood from the abyss. The chair looked like it was inspired by the Game of Thrones with all the carved thorns and spikes but it didn’t poke Shen Qingqiu’s butt.

Right above where he was sitting was the preserved antlers and bones of Dragon Scourge of the South.

Even the carpet was fashioned out of the black fur of hundreds of the now endangered Six-Headed Spider Bears.

A plus classic demon aesthetic.

Luo Binghe had been hesitant to show this room to him as if he was afraid of scaring Shen Qingqiu away but what Shen Qingqiu felt was the exact opposite. Because holy shit, the entire thing was so cool!

None of the wives - other than Liu Mingyan but it was an emergency - had been allowed to step foot in here so being told by the protagonist himself that he could use this place as he saw fit was...well. It made his heart tremble even more.

So now he was sitting in the Iron Throne-inspired chair, wearing Luo Binghe’s clothes (again) and munching on the last lotus crisp while waiting for Shang Qinghua to arrive. He managed to convince Luo Binghe to leave them alone for an hour...after coaxing him with more kisses and assurances to soothe Fair Maiden Luo’s heart.

There was a knock on the door. Shen Qinqgiu hurriedly rearranged his position so he was now sitting with more dignity as befitting a spouse of a demon lord. He lightly fanned himself with the fan Luo Binghe brought to him from the treasury - it was made by a legendary Moonsilk Demon Spider and the silk itself seemed to glimmer when the light caught it.

“Come in,” he announced.

“Woah,” was the first thing Shang Qinghua said. “Bro, you’re glowing. Married life suits you.” Then he stared at Shen Qingqiu’s neck and robes. “Wait, are you wearing my son’s clothes? And holy fuck, bro, those are damn massive hickies. Congratulations on losing your virginities even though I still can't believe that you bent my protagonist-”

A massive headache crept on Shen Qingqiu’s forehead. They hadn't done the deed yet so Shen Qingqiu could only count it as partially losing their virginities, but Shang Qinghua didn't need to know that! And what bent? This was clearly Shang Qinghua's fault in the first place, too! He snapped his fan closed threateningly and growled, “If you don’t shut your mouth, Airplane Bro, we are going to have problems.”

Shang Qinghua raised his hands in mock surrender and moved towards the chair Shen Qingqiu set up for him. Shang Qinghua plopped down on the chair and stared, wide-eyed, around the room. Shen Qingqiu drank his tea in silence. Unfortunately, Luo Binghe just prepared snacks for one so he couldn’t offer any to Shang Qinghua.

“Believe it or not, I’m glad to see you’re okay. This means that your...crisis has been averted, right?” Shang Qinghua started once he got his fill.

Shen Qingqiu coughed to cover the fact that he was slightly touched at the hack author’s concern. “Yeah.”

“That’s good!” Something wistful crossed Shang Qinghua’s eyes as he sighed. Then a shit-eating grin formed on his damned smug face. “So now you’re Shen Guifei-”

Shen Qingqiu’s headache turned into a migraine. “Shang Qinghua-”

“Ah, no. Maybe Huanghou-”

Shen Qingqiu thwacked him with his fan. Shang Qinghua yelped. Shen Qingqiu sat back and fanned himself to calm down. Empress? He was a man for fuck’s sake! Even Luo Binghe in the PIDW hadn’t named an empress and he had wives! 

“So...” Shang Qinghua started once they settled down. “Why did you call for me, bro?”

Shen Qingqiu took out the letters he wrote and placed them on the table.

“I need you to send these letters to the sect for me so they would know that I’m not dead and I’ll be staying with Binghe for a while,” he said and pointed to each letter. “This one is for the head of the hall masters of Qing Jing. The others are for zhangmen-shixiong, Liu Qingge, Mu Qingfang, and Qi Qingqi-”

“Uh, I don’t think a letter would be enough to convince them,” Shang Qinghua cut him off with a wince.

Shen Qingqiu paused, frowning. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, at this point, even if you sent a letter written in your blood and sealed with your qi...I don’t think you can convince Yue Qingyuan and Liu Qingge that you’re okay and you wrote that letter willingly. They might think that Luo Binghe threatened you to write it.”

His fanning paused. Shen Qingqiu frowned harder. “What happened while I was gone?”

Shang Qinghua grimaced. “Well, you see. I wasn’t there when Lord Luo took you away so I just heard this from the others. But, when you were taken away, Yue Qingyuan almost had a qi deviation. Liu Qingge tried to leave to look for you but Yue Qingyuan stopped him. Liu Qingge then attempted to challenge Sect Master Zhang into a duel only to be stopped by Mu Qingfang. Yue Qingyuan had called for the other sects’ help to find you and yesterday, he was organizing a search party for you. Yesterday, Yue Qingyuan, the elders of the Zhang sect, and the Huan Hua Palace Master nearly got into blows.”

The migraine encompassed Shen Qingqiu’s head. He slumped back and nursed his head.

“Liu Qingge is accusing Luo Binghe of being a demon- which is the truth- and has been preparing to come to the demon realm to look for you. The other cultivators are also blaming Lord Luo for the death of one of the grooms.”

“I...see,” Shen Qingqiu said weakly.

The only thing he could process right now was Groom No. 4. He forgot about him.

“I couldn’t steal Xiu Ya to bring it to you because Yue Qingyuan was guarding it with his life. So yeah, Cucumber bro. The only way you could stop them is to come back.” Shang Qinghua shrugged helplessly.

Shen Qingqiu rubbed his temples, suddenly regretting the fact that he dragged himself out of Luo Binghe’s arms just for this. Was it possible to turn back time and just sleep the day away, ah?

“How did you even avoid suspicion?” He asked Shang Qinghua.

“It was a shit show, no one would miss me,” Shang Qinghua replied. He tried to give Shen Qingqiu an encouraging smile. “Well, you can do it, Cucumber bro!”

Shen Qingqiu quietly smacked him again.

 

—--

 

If Shen Qingqiu were to ignore this problem, this problem might just become a bitch to deal with in the future. Not to mention that his pride took a blow at being considered a damsel in distress. Therefore, he had to set the record straight to make them leave Luo Binghe and him alone. He was pretty sure that his older brothers would be proud of him for taking the initiative to confront the problem but in Shen Qingqiu’s opinion, it wasn’t like he always ran away from his problems.

After he kicked Shang Qinghua out, he went to find Luo Binghe.

The protagonist was in the bed chambers, humming to himself as he changed the bed sheets.

To his surprise, telling Luo Binghe that he needed to go back was not the impossible mountain to climb that he was thinking of. Shen Qingqiu concluded that it must be because he told him upfront that he was taking Luo Binghe with him.

“Does Binghe have any protests?” He asked him just to be sure.

Luo Binghe merely held his hand and vowed earnestly, “This one promised that he will go wherever you want to go. Be it the heavens, back to the abyss or even death, it does not matter at all. No power is strong enough to force me away from your side.”

Shen Qingqiu, face red enough to rival a tomato, turned away. Luo Binghe merely laughed and kissed the back of his head. 

After an hour of fooling around and a quick lunch, they set out to leave in the afternoon.

Luo Binghe took the role of a dutiful spouse and insisted on helping Shen Qingqiu prepare. From the bath to his hairstyle, everything was done by him alone.

Surprisingly, Luo Binghe finally found a few sets of robes that were in Shen Qingqiu’s size. He refused the ones that looked too elaborate and formal because no one would believe that a rogue cultivator could afford them. The set he chose was in Luo Binghe’s official colors which was a good thing because it showed that they were a team. Thankfully, it had a collar that was high enough to cover the worst of his hickies as long as he didn’t move too much. 

Luo Binghe cut a portal in the air with Xin Mo and together, they left the demon realm.

The first thing Shen Qingqiu saw was the stairs leading to the entrance of the Zhongcheng Sect. There weren’t as many as Cang Qiong Mountain Sect and he could see the disciples guarding it from the distance. It looked like they weren’t paying much attention.

He took a step forward before realizing that Luo Binghe wasn’t beside him. He looked back, just to see him positioned behind Shen Qingqiu as a disciple would. The intimidating aura of a powerful OP demon lord was gone. He looked meek and a little unsure.

Shen Qingqiu beckoned Luo Binghe to his side. When the young man obeyed, Shen Qingqiu took a deep breath and reached for his hand. He ignored the wide-eyed stare and the reverent whisper of his name. A united front, he told himself to keep himself from dying of shame. How were the others supposed to believe his claims if they weren’t doing couple-y things like holding hands? It was fine, their sleeves hid what they were doing.

He said nothing and led the protagonist up the stairs.

When they got near the top, there were loud exclamations. Luo Binghe tensed. Shen Qingqiu squeezed his hand in reassurance.

“P-Peak Lord Shen!” One of the disciples guarding the gate cried out as if he had seen a ghost and a god appear in front of him. “Peak Lord Shen, you’re - you’re here! A-Fang, quick, tell the sect master that Peak Lord Shen is here-” He stopped and gawked at Luo Binghe but his companion elbowed him. They bowed in unison.

Shen Qingqiu nodded in greeting. “Where is everyone?”

“Answering Peak Lord Shen, everyone is at the Anxiang Hall. This lowly disciple shall escort Peak Lord Shen and...” the nameless disciple hesitated as he peeked at Luo Binghe.

“His husband,” Luo Binghe answered for him with a devastating grin.

The disciple choked on his spit.

His companion, however, finally realized. “You’re Luo-”

“No need. This master knows where it is. Come along, Binghe,” Shen Qinqqiu quickly said before someone blew up. He tugged the protagonist with him, feeling his ears burn hot. They left the pair of gobsmacked disciples and turned in the direction of the Anxiang Hall - which was the biggest hall of the sect.

“Does husband mind it?” Luo Binghe asked once they were out of earshot.

“Don’t be silly,” Shen Qingqiu repeated his answer earlier. It wasn’t like he could stop the other from saying it. Luo Binghe’s thumb ran across his knuckles. He hastily took out his fan from his belt and fanned it over his face.

They didn’t encounter many disciples but the ones who saw them were hurriedly whispering something about “kidnapping” and “scoundrel disciple who stole the poor peak lord away.” Shen Qingqiu’s eyes twitched as he fought the urge to scold them.

The disciples guarding the doors to the Anxiang Hall seemed to have gotten the memo because they opened the doors without a question. Already, there was a loud cacophony in the hall. Several cultivators were on their feet and arguing. At the center of the room were his martial siblings.

Shen Qingqiu took a deep breath as they entered the hall. He already had a speech prepared in his head for this -

“Shen Qingqiu!” A voice bellowed.

All at once, the noise died down.

Hundreds of eyes fell on the two of them.

Shen Qingqiu looked up and saw Liu Qingge. The man strode towards them, Cheng Luan already unsheathed. A dark cloud of fury covered his face. 

Holy fuck. Slow down, shidi!

“Shidi-” Shen Qingqiu started, moving in front of Luo Binghe. He didn’t let go of his hand.

Liu Qingge came to a stop in front of them. He stared at Shen Qingqiu’s face with a heavy and unreadable expression before his eyes narrowed. Liu Qingge’s head whipped towards Luo Binghe, rage written on every inch of his skin.

“Shen Qingqiu, come here.” Liu Qingge held up a hand towards Shen Qingqiu but his glare was directly fixed on Luo Binghe.

Shen Qingqiu stared nervously at that hand. Fuck, this wasn’t part of his script, ah! Good thing he was good at improvising. Also, could Liu Qingge calm down for a bit? He was already here and see, he was fine! “Shidi, stand down. Binghe didn’t do anything wrong-”

“Disciple or not, Shen Qingqiu, that demon has taken over your senses. Listen to me.” Liu Qingge was nearly pleading. “Come here.”

Shen Qingqiu tried not to react to the word “demon” because even though he didn’t mind Luo Binghe’s heritage, slinging that word around at a crowd of cultivators who would love nothing more than to kill them, was not a good thing at the moment. While he didn’t doubt that his Binghe could easily fight them off, he didn’t want this to turn this place into a bloodbath if it could be avoided!

The whispers started.

He firmly stood in his place. “Shidi, there’s no need for that. You can check this master for any possession, curses, or poisons because none is clouding my head.”

“Shen Qingqiu-”

“Liu-shishu should respect shizun’s choice,” Luo Binghe spoke, voice soft as velvet. “Shizun wanted to come back here for all of your sakes. This disciple is merely accompanying him.”

Liu Qingge clicked his tongue. “Cease your lies-”

“Liu-shidi, please.” Yue Qingyuan came from behind Liu Qingge. He was flanked by a tense Qi Qingqi and Mu Qingfang. Shang Qinghua slipped beside Mu Qingfang, eyeing them nervously. With a huff, Liu Qingge retracted his hand and stood beside them.

“Zhangmen-shixiong,” Shen Qingqiu briefly let go to bow in greeting. “This one has heard what you have done for me and this shidi is grateful. But the search party is no longer needed.”

“Of course. Qingqiu-shidi, this one is relieved to see you well.” Yue Qingyuan’s gentle eyes were dark as they bore on Shen Qingqiu’s face with a kind of desperation that felt a little bit uncomfortable to be in the center of. His eyes rove from head to toe before he turned to Luo Binghe, and his face turned to stone.

“Luo Binghe,” Yue Qingyuan said, deceptively mild, “are you here to return Qingqiu-shidi to us?”

“This disciple will follow shizun’s decision, zhangmen-shibo,” Luo Binghe answered. 

Qi Qingqi scoffed. “How filial.”

Shen Qingqiu had enough. He flicked his fan close and said, “This master and his disciple are here to clear some misunderstandings. Mayhaps my martial siblings and the esteemed cultivators here would hear our side of the story?”

He directly addressed everyone in the hall. As if chastened, the whispers quietened. Sect Master Zhang appeared in front of them along with Huan Hua’s Old Palace Master.  Shen Qingqiu eyed him with the kind of wariness of someone who just stole someone’s favored son-in-law right under his nose. Well, it wasn’t like Shen Qingqiu would allow his Binghe anywhere near that old man’s spoiled rotten daughter. Over his dead body.

“Peak Lord Shen, this one is glad to see that you are well,” Sect Master Zhang said. 

Shen Qingqiu gave him a thin smile. “This master apologizes for bothering Sect Master Zhang yet again.”

“It is no matter,” Sect Master Zhang replied. He glanced at Luo Binghe. “This must be Luo Binghe.”

Luo Binghe bowed in courtesy.

“The rumors have greatly exaggerated your feats, young man,” the Old Palace Master said. “And so has been your death. Falling into such a dreadful place, I wonder how you managed to survive.”

Shen Qingqiu inwardly tensed.

“This disciple had been lucky to fall into a shallower portion of the abyss. Through luck and the skills my shizun taught me, I managed to survive and find an entrance leading to the human realm,” Luo Binghe said, lies falling out of his mouth as easy as breathing.

“Hmm. Luck." The Old Palace Master gave him a considering look. “And how long have you been in the abyss?”

“Two years. This disciple chose to roam around and make a name for myself before I come back to Qing Jing Peak.”

Interest glinted in the Old Palace Master’s eyes. “How did you find your way here, Luo Binghe?”

Something about the way he said Luo Binghe’s name made Shen Qingqiu want to stab him with his fan.

Luo Binghe looked him straight in the eye and lied, “This one was just passing by when he heard about the celebration that the Zhongcheng was throwing for Sect Master Zhang and that there were representatives from Cang Qiong Mountain Sect. This disciple decided to stay in the city, hoping to meet shizun or any of my shishu so I can join them on the way back. Unfortunately, this one saw a barrier over the sect. After I confirmed that shizun was also trapped inside, I rushed inside to save him.” 

A frown pulled at the corner of Luo Binghe’s lips. “I managed to break through the barrier and saw my shizun being hunted down like a sport. Esteemed cultivators, do you blame me for choosing to take away my shizun for his safety when he was being as treated like a prized animal?”

Shen Qingqiu, who knew the whole truth, told himself: Fuck. Even I almost believed your bullshit.

He didn’t doubt that Luo Binghe must have altered some people's memories to support his story.

However, Luo Binghe’s final words hit a nerve. The faces of the grooms turned ashamed and offended.

“We were not hunting Peak Lord Shen like that!” One protested.

“Oh?” Luo Binghe’s smile was cold. “Then why didn’t you just wait in place until the sun set instead of pursuing him?”

“That’s against the rules!”

“Luo Binghe, you weren’t a participant. How dare you act like you know everything-”

“-and we all had an agreement-”

“Did any one of you care for my shizun’s well-being? I dare anyone whose goal was pure enough to stand in front of me.”

Shen Qingqiu balked. He tugged Luo Binghe’s hand to signal him to stop spraying them. Both Liu Qingge and Yue Qingyuan took a step forward but the Old Palace Master’s chuckle broke the rising tension.

“Peak Lord Shen is fortunate to have a disciple like Luo Binghe.”

“Indeed,” Shen Qingqiu said. “This master is fortunate.” To the rest of the room, he declared, “This master was not kidnapped or taken advantage of. I went with Luo Binghe of my own volition. This master hopes that those unfounded rumors will be laid to rest.”

Qi Qingqi huffed and crossed her arms. She murmured something to Mu Qingfang but Shen Qingqiu couldn’t hear it.

Sect Master Zhang cleared his throat. “That may be so. However, Disciple Luo Binghe still has two other accusations set against him. Peak Lord Shen, this one hopes that you are willing to listen.”

Shen Qingqiu gritted his teeth. “Speak.”

Elder Hui stepped forward and said, “Disciple Luo managed to break the barrier when no one else could. It was a powerful demonic barrier that no other cultivator could break. You also weren’t affected by the curse. Peak Lord Liu claimed that you are a demon and your sword has a demonic origin. Since Peak Lord Liu personally fought against you, such accusations cannot be dismissed so easily.”

“It’s not an accusation if it’s the truth,” Liu Qingge said, scowling.

“Then I am willing to be tested if it will put everyone at ease,” Luo Binghe said confidently, staring back at Liu Qingge.

If Shen Qingqiu hadn’t known that Luo Binghe’s unique heritage granted a cultivation system that broke all scientific reasons, he would be sweating buckets. He had two cultivation systems that should not, in the name of all xianxia novels, exist. Both spiritual qi and demonic qi circulated in his body. He had to multitask and coordinate the two systems into one working network. But if Luo Binghe was confident enough to pull being one hundred percent human then Shen Qingqiu believed him.

This world always worked in Luo Binghe’s favor, after all.

An abbot from Zhao Hua Monastery stepped forward. In his hand were spiritual testing instruments. Luo Binghe squeezed Shen Qingqiu’s hand and let go. Shen Qingqiu instantly missed him before stopping that train of thought because what was he, a pining maiden? He watched helplessly as Luo Binghe was ushered to the center of the hall, in front of a round table. He watched, with bated breath, as Luo Binghe poured his spiritual energy into that instrument while the abbot chanted.

The instrument glowed white. If it turned black, it would be demonic.

Negative.

“Amitabha. Disciple Luo Binghe is human,” the abbot said.

Luo Binghe smiled, dazzling and triumphant, at Shen Qingqiu’s direction.

Shen Qingqiu’s lungs deflated as relief sagged in his body.

“That’s impossible-” Liu Qingge protested but Yue Qingyuan shook his head at him.

“Daozhang can also test my sword for further proof of my innocence.”

Shen Qingqiu almost choked. He goggled at Luo Binghe before he turned to look at Shang Qinghua. What the fuck?

Shang Qinghua raised an eyebrow and raised one thumb of the hand scratching his elbow.

What the fuck had they planned -

Oh.

Luo Binghe unsheathed his sword and gave it to the abbot.

He knew that stupid plot device.

Chapter Two Thousand and Nine. The one with the wife who wanted to steal Xin Mo but managed to steal the look-alike instead at the treasury before she got caught. To the untrained eye, both swords looked the same. However, the look-alive, unlike the real deal, wasn’t a demonic sword and didn’t contain any trace of demonic energy. What was the purpose of that sword? Only Airplane knew but his reason would only justify how lazy he was at coming up with shit.

Now, though. Shen Qingqiu was, for the first time in this transmigration, thankful for Airplane’s plot devices.

The test came back negative.

Shen Qingqiu hid his smile behind his fan as Luo Binghe came to stand beside him. Their fingers brushed. “This master hopes that this will prove my disciple’s innocence.”

The crowd of cultivators started murmuring towards each other before they all accepted the result. The abbot retreated to his fellow sect brothers.

“Disciple Luo Binghe might be human but it does not answer how he was able to get inside the barrier unharmed nor the death of my disciple,” a sect master persisted.

Shen Qingqiu said, “Esteemed cultivators, the Heavenly Jade Lilies of Matrimony bracelet’s curse is relatively still a mystery. We only know the rules, the consequences, and how the marriage hunt is played because of an excerpt that survived. Perhaps, as time went on, the curse gradually weakened. Or perhaps, my disciple found a weak spot on the barrier that’s why he got in. The rules didn’t say what would happen if someone who wasn’t affected or trapped by the curse got involved.

As for the death of the participant, this master extends his condolences. However, this master wonders why his disciple is being accused of the death of Sect Master Man’s disciple.”

“Peak Lord Shen should not worry. Sect Master Man, there is solid evidence that your disciple has been attacked by some sort of creature. Such attack can’t possibly be done by a human alone.” One sect master reminded.

“Tsk!” Sect Master Man turned on his heels and left the hall.

Shen Qingqiu heaved a small sigh as he watched the man walk away. Attacked by an animal. Shen Qingqiu thought back on Luo Binghe's claws when they first met in the forest. Nope, he wasn't going to think hard on it.

“There’s another matter that I am curious about, Peak Lord Shen,” the Old Palace Master spoke before the voices died down. “This is about your relationship with your disciple, Luo Binghe. A  Zhongcheng disciple said that Disciple Luo himself claimed that he is your husband. Is it true, Peak Lord Shen?”

Shen Qingqiu’s back stiffened. He met the beady eyes of the Old Palace Master and he couldn’t take it anymore.

“Palace Master knows what the condition of the curse of the Heavenly Jade Lilies of Matrimony bracelet had set. It is true that in that marriage hunt, Luo Binghe caught me and we broke the curse. However, the Palace Master should know that this master has not harbored any feelings of ill repute towards his disciples nor will I tolerate any accusations of such. The circumstances may not be favorable, but if two parties are of age and willing, then such business is theirs alone and not a play to be witnessed by the entire jianghu.” He flicked his fan close and grabbed Luo Binghe’s hand. “If that is all, then this master bids everyone a good day.”

They turned to leave but before he could take a step forward, Shen Qingqiu’s arm was caught.

There was something mournful and heavy in the way Yue Qingyuan gazed at him. Shen Qingqiu wanted to step back.

Xiao - Qingqiu-shidi,” Yue Qingyuan whispered, “are you happy?”

Shen Qingqiu raised his eyebrows in surprise at such a deep question. Well, Yue Qingyuan was his bro, right? Of course, the man would care about his happiness. How touching. 

“Yes,” Shen Qingqiu said.

Luo Binghe’s hand tightened around his hand.

“Will you come back to Cang Qiong Mountain?”

Shen Qingqiu looked at Luo Binghe before he shook his head. “Zhangmen-shixiong, this shidi wishes to explore the world first with Binghe before going back. I have already left instructions for Shang-shidi to give to the head of the hall masters of Qing Jing but if you have any concerns, you can still reach me through our usual correspondence. However, before I go...zhangmen-shixiong, may I take back my sword?”

The grip on his arm loosened. Yue Qingyuan’s smile was shaking as he said, “Very well. Xiu Ya is still in my room. Qingqiu-shidi and Disciple Luo, come with me.”

 

-----

 

After an awkward goodbye and Xiu Ya finally returned to him, they started down towards the gate.

Luo Binghe was oddly quiet as they left Yue Qingyuan’s room. He was still staring at Shen Qingqiu intently, smiling. If they weren’t in public, Shen Qingqiu would have-

Footsteps rushed towards them.

“Shen Qingqiu!”

Shen Qingqiu stopped in his tracks. He turned back warily, knowing that it was Liu Qingge who ran after them. He stared at his shidi, waiting for him to say something. 

"Shen Qingqiu,” Liu Qingge spoke after what seemed like an eternity of staring. "Why him?"

Shen Qingqiu, for a moment, was speechless at the question. Liu-shidi, isn’t that a bit personal? And why are you asking when said man is next to me?

He couldn’t tell Liu Qingge exactly why. The man would never understand. There were a thousand reasons why it was Luo Binghe but none of them came close to coming out of his tongue. He could only say, "Who else would this master choose other than Luo Binghe?"

That seemed to strike a blow at Liu Qingge. He nodded stiffly. "Good. Very good."

Liu Qingge tossed something at him before he turned on his heel without another word and left. Shen Qingqiu watched his back, puzzled at his reaction. Then he looked at the thing he caught and found that it was his fan, which was confiscated when he changed into that damned dress.

He tucked that fan into his belt and mentally promised Liu Qingge that he would help him find a suitable partner when he got the chance.

"Husband?” Luo Binghe asked.

“Yes?”

“Where do you want to go?”

Shen Qingqiu looked at the sky. The sun was starting to set. He thought back on the warm bed and the good meal awaiting him. Tomorrow, they would go visit the libraries. After that, who knew? Maybe he could go with Luo Binghe on his expeditions or maybe hit a human town just for fun. He mentally went back to his earlier checklist and put a checkmark on the ‘No Responsibilities' box.

“Let’s go home, first, Binghe.”

Notes:

Edit: Looking back, I wanna give LQG a hug 🥲

1. Deflated balloon = guys, you know that meme. If you don’t, I’m going to be so disappointed haha jk jk
2. Yang Guifei = she was an imperial concubine from the Tang dynasty who was so loved by the Emperor Xuan Zhong that he used the military message delivery system just to have fresh lychees delivered to her.
3. Huanghou = empress
4. spraying = in gaming danmeis, this means “trashtalk”

Why didn’t I reveal LBH’s origin? Well, I pulled an Airplane bro because with the HHP master there, it would be a fucking shit show that I don't want to write. Let’s just put it out that it’s not time yet. LBH’s origin does get revealed in the future and yes, shit will go down. BQ, in their extended honeymoon, will be visiting Jinlan City. SQQ gets accused but with LBH there, it was the HHP master who got turn-tabled instead and his sins against LBH's parents were revealed. In this AU, I like to think that TLJ got wind of what happened, killed the HHP master himself but was stopped by BQ before he could try to do his revenge plan.

So TLJ and ZZL somehow survived. Now TLJ won't stop teasing SQQ for being such a good bride much to LBH's annoyance.

Also the song of BQ would be waaay different here haha.

Will I write an extra featuring the reprise of the marriage hunt with an actual (consensual and negotiated) fucking? IDK my dudes.

I'll edit some stuff tomorrow cause I'm tired. Thank you for reading! Night.

Notes:

Fic is rt-able here

Thank you so much for reading!

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