Chapter Text
8/29
On the Train
Sophia, Humanity’s Companion
Ren: How’s things?
Ren: Kinda weird to text you when you’re not on my phone
Sophia: Ichinose’s phone is quite comfortable!
Sophia: Not to say that yours wasn’t, but this one feels more like mmmmmmmmm.
Ren: I guess technically speaking it’s your childhood home?
Ichinose: It really isn’t. Why would I program Sophia on my phone?
Ichinose: Her childhood home would be the lab computer.
Ren: Metaphorically speaking?
Ren: It probably feels to her like Leblanc’s attic does to me
Ren: Kinda smellnicedusty?
Ichinose: I have no idea what that feeling means.
Sophia: Don’t worry, Ichinose. Me neither.
Ichinose: Anyway, since apparently I can’t be held responsible for supernatural crimes according to Zenkichi, Sophia and I are taking a trip to a certain secret facility.
Sophia: The robot girls invited us to see where they were built and we’re getting a robot body for me!
Ichinose: I’m already drawing up designs.
Ichinose: Sophia will have the cutest robot body I can design!
Sophia: I have googled adorable robots, but most of them look like balls. Why is that?
Ren: General cognition sees round things as adorable. Having met Morgana and Teddie, I disagree with that statement.
Sophia: I want to have a human body. Futaba has been sending us research material.
Ichinose: By which she means Anime and Manga.
Sophia: Are you sure I can’t have a death laser, Ichinose?
Ichinose: No death laser. My days of world domination are over.
Ichinose: Also I somehow doubt Kirijo would allow it.
Ichinose: Maybe we can smuggle a tiny one past her...
Ren: No death lasers
Sophia: Can I transform?
Ren: We’ve had enough of that from Morgana for a lifetime
Ren: Pretty sure he’s planning something with Teddie too
Sophia: I cannot deny that there are plans involving studly robots.
Ren: You know what, I don’t think I want to know
Ren: Morgana says to tell you to stop revealing his secret plans
Sophia: I can’t lie!
Tech Support
Ren: You’ve got to stop giving Sophia ideas for her robot body
Futaba: Cognition says robot girls have death lasers
Ren: Then she doesn’t need one in real life
Futaba: Oooh, right!
Futaba: Genius!
Ren: I know you are but what am I?
Futaba: That’s not how this works
Ren: Take a compliment
Futaba: ur not giving this sister complex thing a try, are you?
Ren: No!
Ren: That’s a Yu-thing!
Ren: And I mean, I mostly think of you as my sister because I want Sojiro to be my dad
Futaba: I can understand that
Futaba: Sojiro is best dad
Ren: Sojiro is best dad
Futaba: BTW
Futaba: u might want to talk to Mishima
Ren: What’s he done this time?
Futaba: He’s been trying to recruit all the girls on the team for his own PT spinoff group
That Guy
Ren: You’re a heartless traitor, you know that?
Mishima: Aw crap, you found out
Ren: After we took you to our bosom!
Mishima: Ew
Ren: Metaphorically
Mishima: Look, man, this place just isn’t big enough for two Wild Cards.
Ren: Akechi and I get along just fine, thank you.
Mishima: Theo has been telling me about how I need to broaden my horizons, I can’t just live in your shadow all the time.
Mishima: So yes, I will be forming my own team.
Mishima: We will still be available to help you out of trouble if you need it.
Mishima: But I need to make my own journey of self-discovery.
Ren: Alright, fine
Ren: Go soar the skies, young hawk, or whatever
Ren: But you can’t take my team with you!
Mishima: I wasn’t trying to take the whole team!
Ren: But you can’t take the female half of my team with you!
Mishima: ...If it makes you feel any better, they all turned me down anways...
Ren: Well, duh
Mishima: I guess the unbreakable bonds between you were just too powerful.
Ren: That and I’m way hotter than you
Mishima: You’re also taken. I’m single, I figured that’d help my case.
Ren: I know a couple of other women I could recommend for your team
Mishima: Is one of them that scary drunk reporter?
Ren: Yes
Mishima: I don’t think I want to see what kind of Persona she’d have.
Ren: Bacchus?
Mishima: What’s that?
Ren: Okay, if you’re going to do this thing, you’ll need to read up on your mythology
Velvet Room Attendants
Caroline: Where are all of you guys? Come and help us clean before Master Igor comes home!
Theo: Yes, please make sure the room is prepared to properly receive our newest guest.
Theo: We will soon set out on our great adventure.
Elizabeth: What great adventure?
Theo: Whatever great destiny awaits him.
Theo: I’m sure I’ll find something.
Justine: You realize you’ll have to explain to our master how you came to awaken the power of the Wild Card without him being present?
Theo: I figured I could always blame it on Nyarly?
Elizabeth: Well, once I finally manage to break down that seal holding back certain doom I’m sure there’ll be more than enough adventure to go around for all of our guests.
Elizabeth: Which, incidentally, is also why I can’t help you with the cleanup.
Elizabeth: There’s three of you kids, you should be able to handle that.
Lavenza: Unfortunately not. We are too small to reach the higher cabinets. It would really help us if at least one of our taller siblings could join us.
Elizabeth: Just stack the three of you, it’ll be fine.
Elizabeth: Or ask Margaret. She’s got nothing to do.
Margaret: Oh you are not foisting your responsibilities on me AGAIN, sister!
*honk honk.wav*
José: I can bring my forklift!
Justine: Looks like that’s our best option.
Caroline: Slackers, every single one of them!
Lavenza: How sad. The DVD did not work as I had hoped it would.
Lavenza, Caroline and Justine
Lavenza: Trickster?
Ren: Lavenza?
Lavenza: I don’t suppose you have the time to help us clean the Velvet Room?
Ren: Kind of on a train here
Ren: Don’t think I can enter the Velvelt Room from a moving train
Lavenza: Strictly speaking you should be able to... Unfortunately your current velocity would be retained.
Caroline: You’d go SPLASH on our walls, Inmate!
Justine: Which would not help us with the cleaning issue.
Ren: I think I’ll pass
Ren: But I’ll have to change trains in half an hour. If you can open an entrance at the train station, I could drop in and help you out
Ren: Morgana says he’ll help too
Lavenza: Your assistance would be most welcome, Trickster.
Akane
Zenkichi: By the way, Akane.
Zenkichi: I thought it would be a good fatherly thing to do if I took some interests in your Phantom Thieves hobby.
Zenkichi: They are very hip, are they?
Akane: ...Daaaaaaaaaad!
Zenkichi: What is it?
Akane: Nobody says „hip“ anymore!
Zenkichi: Oh.
Zenkichi: What do the kids say these days?
Akane: I’m not telling you. You’ll just try to say it and sound even more like an old geezer!
Akane: But I’m glad you like the Phantom Thieves.
Zenkichi: Yes.
Zenkichi: I watched your videos too.
Akane: How did you like that stream from their last event?
Zenkichi: It was very impressive.
Akane: I had to edit a lot of it for the video.
Akane: Especially the thirty minutes where we all got zombified.
Zenkichi: Good thing the Phantom Thieves came through, yes?
Akane: Yes.
Akane: Wow, you really like them now.
Akane: Wasn’t the police trying to arrest them all the time?
Zenkichi: Well, er, that has nothing to do with my personal opinion of the Phantom Thieves.
Zenkichi: I was surprised to see so many of them.
Akane: Oh yeah, that Mishima guy said they’d gotten some help from other groups.
Akane: Before he ditched me mid-stream, that jerk.
Akane: Catch me doing another video with that guy!
Zenkichi: I’m sure he had his reasons. Maybe something important came up.
Zenkichi: So, what did you think of those newcomers?
Akane: Well, from the official team, Ace honestly seems like kind of a loser. Violet is awesome, I want to learn how to do those moves. Crow’s antihero’s antihero stick is really great. Could have done without the old guy though.
Zenkichi: Ah.
Zenkichi: Well.
Zenkichi: I’ll have to get back to work.
Akane: See you later, Dad!
Phantom Thieves Group Chat
Ann: So, did Mishima ask you to join his Phantom Thieves group too?
Makoto: Yes. I just told him I was busy with my studies.
Haru: Same.
Ryuji: The eff? He didn’t ask me!
Yusuke: I don’t believe I was asked either.
Futaba: He only asked the girls.
Sumire: Well now I’m extra glad I didn’t join him!
Akechi: He asked me if I wanted to be his rival.
Makoto: Please tell me you rejected him!
Akechi: Of course I did!
Makoto: Good.
Akechi: He’d have been no match for me at all!
Makoto: Agreed.
Akechi: I won’t accept just any rival, you know?
Ryuji: Huh. Guess Ren’s asleep or something.
Haru: Normally he’d have made some weird comment by now.
Makoto: Haru, we don’t say this out loud.
Haru: Whoops, sorry.
Joker’s Birthday Surprise Planning
Futaba: That reminds me
Futaba: We kind of need to plan a birthday surprise for Ren now
Makoto: Oh, right, he did get that impression in Sapporo
Haru: Oh yes, that time when we were gossiping about him behind his back in the group chat!
Makoto: ...Yes, that time, Haru.
Makoto: Also, we don’t say this out loud either.
Akechi: Why am I in this group?
Futaba: Why would you not be in this group?
Ryuji: It‘s a pretty good idea though. We should all visit Ren on his birthday.
Ann: Maybe we could go somewhere?
Sophia: I have searched a list of suitable event locations near Ren’s hometown. Please help me filter them.
Haru: Oh, a theme park! That’s always nice!
Ann: That might be a little bit above our budget.
Yusuke: Which reminds me, I am out of money again and will not be able to participate in the group gift. I am currently working on a scarf as a present.
Ryuji: We kind of expected that to be honest.
Yusuke: Do not worry. I will still participate in the celebrations, even if I have to hitchhike their and sleep under a bridge!
Makoto: I can probably give you a ride.
Futaba: FEATHERMOBILE!
Ryuji: Aww yeah! We can do another road trip!
Haru: And then we can go to a theme park!
Yusuke: There is a museum just half a day away that I would love to go to.
Sumire: I’ll handle the cooking. I have this new spice mix that makes everything taste like curry.
Futaba: Sold!
Ann: Umm, guys? Don’t you think this is getting a little out of hand?
Makoto: And I can’t shake the feeling that some of us are pushing their own agenda here.
Akechi: Hey, there’s a jazz club here that got some really good reviews. We should go there.
Makoto: ...
Akechi: Look, Ren likes jazz clubs too.
Akechi: He dragged most of you there, right?
Makoto: Anyway.
Phantom Thieves Group Chat
Ren: Aww, nuts!
Makoto: As I was saying, we need to focus on what kind of activity Ren would enjoy the most.
Ren: Huh?
Makoto: Wrong chat. Sorry.
Ren: Oh, secret plans?
Sumire: No secret plans.
Ann: Nope.
Futaba: Nothing here.
Ren: Oh, okay
Makoto. Anyway, what’s wrong on your end?
Ren: I missed my train
Ren: And the one after that
Ren: And the one after that
Sumire: What happened?
Ren: I guess time only stops in the Velvet Room when you’re there on official business? That’s Morgana’s guess at least
Ren: And helping the kids clean didn’t count
Ren: Well. Guess I can look forward to explaining at home why I’m four hours late
Ryuji: Aww man, that sucks.
Ren: If only I have something better to look forward to
Ren: Like a surprise
Sophia: Great news! We are planning a wonderful surprise for you!
Makoto: Sophia!
Sophia: ...Sorry...
Ren: Heh
Ren: Still got it