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Her quarters are nice, nicer than his, which are covered in piles and piles of papers and whiteboard with three different calculations going on. Her walls are mostly bare - it makes sense, she's new enough - bar a few posters of butterflies and frogs and her bed is a double rather than Rodney's single.
A well thumbed copy of the picture of Dorian Gray sits on the wooden bedside table, an innocuous battered rainbow bookmark hiding between pages.
It was a close miss today, and they both knew it. Photos could've been taken, there was already chatter amongst the new marines that there was something going on between Rodney and Sheppard, and her and Vega. The looks, people had picked up on the looks, they'd picked up on the smiles they willingly gave and the fond gazes that they kept throwing at their object of affection. It was close, too close of a miss, and Jennifer's scared that it wasn't even a miss - her breath hitches as she sits in silence, she hasn't been here for long - she can't bear to get shipped out over this.
Someone recognised the faded rainbow patch she had in the collar of her labcoat - something that she'd sewn on to keep her from losing a part of her. Someone had recognised the thickly jacketed book she read at the infirmary as the works of Sappho.
She’d gotten out of it – the rainbow patch’s ruse that she simply liked the colours and the Sappho as a testament to her enjoyment of Ancient Greek literature.
But there were still whispers.
"Hi." she sighs from the chair she's perched on, a small smile on her lips as she flicks unreadable eyes between the medical reports she's going through, and the door.
"Hi..." he breathes out. The breakup with Katie had been... turbulent. He really doesn't want to go back to his empty quarters again and again, and the rumors circling around didn't help.
"So..." she says, after a pause which lasted too-long, "what brings you here...at....around 2am?"
"I don't want to deal with it anymore." and the way he says 'it' makes Jen bypass any other train of thought and stare at him directly.
"Then stop dating girls!" She throws a pen at him. "You know what? I'm sure you enjoy your own self destruction."
He rolls his eyes, flopping down onto her double bed - something he was going to do so much more often since he's broken up with Katie - her mattress isn't orthopaedic, but it does feel like you've fallen onto a cloud.
"I thought Katie really was the one," he muses to no one in particular, the ceiling above being his only audience.
Jennifer flicks a few pages, and Rodney can hear the frantic clicks of words being typed onto a computer.
"I said-"
"I know what you said," she groans, "But please give me a second before I put up with your emotional crisis."
"I do not have an emotional crisis!" Rodney splutters, "what is this, therapy?"
"Yeah, with Dr. Keller Md." she says it without sparing a glance at him, but he can hear the smirk in her voice.
"Oh shut up, I'm Dr. Rodney McKay, PhD PhD."
"Two PhDs and he still can't spot a gay crisis when he sees one."
"Oh please." He rolls his eyes. "I'm comfortably bisexual!"
”I think you’re having a gay crisis.”
”Shut up! How can I be gay if I dated Katie-?”
"Yeah but you dating Katie just felt...." She pauses, spinning her office chair a little to face him, watching the way the cream light curves over his pointed nose. "It felt forced."
"You thought I was overcompensating?" He lets out a dry chuckle. "Carson also thought I was overcompensating."
There's a pause, and Jennifer can almost see tears in his eyes as he turns away from the ceiling towards her. Carson's a touchy topic for the two of them, her predecessor left her huge shoes to fill in, and she knows: whenever people look at her - they see him.
People, as in Rodney.
"I don't think you're overcompensating, Rodney," she says carefully, voice gentle - they're not at that part of their relationship where she can constantly tease him, "I just think you're in love with someone else."
"Yeah, I know about that... obviously." He rolls his eyes. Although he hated it - it was a little freeing having someone to confide in about his oh nearly four year crush on Colonel Captain Kirk.
Of course, there was Zelenka - the coworker turned best friend over the years. One of his first friends from the Atlantis mission, working with Radek was one of the easiest things that came to him, the Czech thought like him - even if Rodney maintained that he was slower than himself - and their frequencies aligned. There was nothing about him that Zelenka didn't know, but as much as Rodney could wax poetic about Sheppard, Zelenka just... didn't get it.
Then there was Ronon, Ronon actually got the poetry bit. He was actually the one who helped Rodney with the whole poetry thing, but the Satedan wasn't one to do miserable pining with since Ronon was a go-getter.
She smiles a little - there's a wistful look on her face - she was ready to stay in the closet on Atlantis - working with the military and her own parents had often forced her to make the closet her own little apartment.
And then she met Rodney McKay, the man who'd barreled in sideways into her life and tried to pick her up, one night alone in the infirmary, with possibly the worst pickup line in all of existence.
But at least she'd gotten a friendship from it - queer people find each other.
"I mean-" she yawns, "four years is a bit embarrassing."
"Oh please."
"Shut up!" she giggles again, trudging her way onto the bed. "I'm just saying, four years is a long time to be in love with someone"
"Well, I'm glad he hasn't caught on yet." Rodney squints up back at the ceiling, counting the way the rays of light mingle with each other. "If Mr. ChadStraightGuy ever caught me ogling at him..."
"Why is it never 'how is my good friend Jennifer doing?'" she looks down at him, "and always-" she imitates Rodney's whine, "'Oh no… my crush doesn't like me back!'"
"It's not a crush!!!" Rodney whines (in the same exact way).
"Oh, okay, what is it then?"
There's a pause.
"...........................Manly unrequited love."
"You're hopeless."
He throws a pillow at her.
"Like you're doing any better."
"Actually, I was doing better!" She slides onto the bed, kicking Rodney a little to make him budge over to the other side of the bed.
"Captain Vega asked me out-" She raised both eyebrows, grinning, "It definitely jarred me for a few seconds, cus, like, I always thought these military types were straighter than the eiffel tower-"
"Oh no, Evan's fully dating Parrish, I'm sure of it."
"Really? We should invite him to our little misery queer tea parties." Jennifer scoffs, leaning against the headboard, and reaches for the candles on her dresser.
Rodney scrunches up his nose. “I mean, as much as I love Lorne, I dont think I can cope with happy gay people in love right now.”
”This still about your manly unrequited love?”
“Please Stop.”
”Okay, I'm just saying. But we’re going to have to expand our circle a little more—“
Rodney gives her A Look as she leans over to switch off the lights and leaves the soft purple glow of the mood lamp to illuminate the room in its shadowed hue.
"People think we're going on dates, Jen." Rodney laughs a little, "I think the eye contact that we keep making is being interpreted as romantic!"
She lights a candle - green apple - with a cigarette lighter, "I mean, isn't that good?"
"Dr. Keller MD, if your goddamn candles send me into an asthma attack then I swear to g-" he pauses in his ramble.
"What?"
"No, because, listen to me," she flicks the lighter on again, after she's placed the first candle onto the table, to light the cranberry one resting in her hands, "the more people think we're in a relationship-"
"The less people will clock the fact that we're gay!" he clicks both his fingers. "Jennifer Keller, you're a goddamn genius."
"Literally never thought I'd hear those words from you, Rodney McKay PhD PhD."
"I mean, I'm already a genius… you know who else is a genius?"
"John?" she asks, lazily.
"Correct, he's so perfect..."
"Yeah, well have you seen Teyla's smile? It's like that lady can brighten the whole room with it-"
"You're into Teyla? But I thought you were-"
"Oh so you can have a crush on Sheppard for four years and my puny five month crush on Teyla isn't viable?"
"Stop making us sound like schoolgirls." Rodney lifts his head a little, before putting it in her lap, continuing to muse.
"I'm sorry, I'm still not over the fact that you've been into your best friend for four years "
"His hair defies gravity… how am I not supposed to love hi-"
The door chimes and his pale blue eyes widen in panic, a whispered "Oh shit, what if they heard?" reaches his ears, and her grip on his shoulder tightens.
"Dr. Keller, I'm here for the reports-" A very familiar voice strolls through the room, and the man who just came in proceeds to freeze in his tracks.
"Oh..." John flushes red, taking in the scene in front of him. "Oh... I'm sorry, you left the door unlocked, and I-"
She raises an eyebrow and nudges Rodney to try and sell the part, and proceeds to clamp his eyes shut and feign sleep.
"I didn't know you were uh....uhm...."
"Yeah, no...sorry for leaving the door unlocked- I was on a. A." she swallows loudly, probably swallowing the last of her pride, "Date… with....Rodney… good old rodders here just fell asleep."
"Well then." He clears his throat, "I should leave you two to. it."
And then he turns around with an unreadable expression that Keller has no idea how to interpret.
"Ask him what he's doing up at two am," Rodney hisses. "Ask him what he's doing up at two am!"
"I'm not fucking asking him what he's doing up at two am," she angrily mutters back. "He’s your boytoy, you ask him."
"Fuck you."
"No, fuck you."
At the door, John spins around again, breaking her away from nearly strangling Rodney. "I hope you take good care of him." He gives a soft sad smile.
"I'm sure he deserves someone as good as you."