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"Well?" Helian Yi says, lowering his cup to the table. He looks back and forth between Jing Beiyuan and Zhou Zishu. "What is it?"
Zhou Zishu looks at Jing Beiyuan. Jing Beiyuan refills Helian Yi's cup. They'd been listening to a report from Lu Shen on one of Helian Qi's holdings, which Lu Shen thought might be a weak spot, and how they might use it against him. Jing Beiyuan had checked out about five minutes in, only reemerging when Helian Yi had thanked Lu Shen for his work, and Lu Shen took his leave from the estate.
"We have a better plan," Jing Beiyuan says simply.
Helian Yi smiles. "I suspected as much. And I assume you didn't want to interrupt him out of politeness."
Jing Beiyuan feels Zhou Zishu looking at him again. "It's better for Lu Shen to sleep easy at night, to serve Your Highness without complicated feelings."
"Ah," Helian Yi says, smile going flat. "I see."
There's a pause. Jing Beiyuan steels himself. In his first lifetime, he and Helian Yi had eased into these sorts of decisions together. The balancing of ends and means had been heartbreaking, until it became second nature. But Jing Beiyuan's well past that now. He's not entirely sure how to convince Helian Yi of their plan yet, but it'll come to him once he gets going. "Zishu, will you check the room?"
Zhou Zishu starts to get up, but Helian Yi says, "No, it's alright. You have a plan. It'll work?"
Jing Beiyuan nods. "It'll get us a foothold, at least, without any damage."
Helian Yi pauses for a moment to think, swirling his cup, then takes a drink. "That's all I need to know. I trust you," he says, looking up again at Jing Beiyuan. He turns to Zhou Zishu. "See to it."
Zhou Zishu stands up. "I'll get started on the preparations right away," he says with a bow, then slips out of the room.
Jing Beiyuan wonders if Helian Yi is going to try to get more out of him now that Zhou Zishu is gone, but Helian Yi just drinks his wine.
"The bottle's almost empty, we should finish it," Helian Yi says. So Jing Beiyuan refills his own cup and drinks.
He feels like he miscalculated somewhere. It was too easy. It's worked out in his favor but there's still been some sort of misstep.
"What's wrong?" Helian Yi asks. "Second thoughts?"
"No, just tired," Jing Beiyuan says. He shoots him a grin. "You used to tease me for sleeping so much when we were kids, but now look where we are. You should have let me sleep more, so I could be ready."
Helian Yi laughs and says, "How could I have known? Back then you didn't…" He smiles to himself and shakes his head. "You weren't so dedicated. You didn't seem to care. But it's different now, isn't it?"
Jing Beiyuan looks down into his cup. It's not. There had been a brief period where he’d considered giving up on the whole thing and disappearing into the jianghu, but he knew Helian Yi couldn't do it without him. Conceited or not, given the chance, he’d wanted to help. "Yes," he lies. "I couldn't see how important this was until I got older."
Helian Yi hums. He sets his cup down on the table and rests his hand near it. Jing Beiyuan abruptly realizes how close to each other they're sitting.
"You're wondering why I didn't want to know more about your plan," Helian Yi says. It's not the first thing on Jing Beiyuan's mind anymore, but he's not going to contradict him. "I know why this is important to you, I know why you work so hard. We have the same vision, we–"
Helian Yi hesitates, then his hand reaches out to Beiyuan's hand wrapped loosely around his cup on the table. His fingers slide around Jing Beiyuan's wrist, and Jing Beiyuan feels it like a shock to his nerves, all the way up to the back of his neck.
"Your Highness–"
"Beiyuan, it's ok," Helian Yi says. He pulls Jing Beiyuan's hand away from the cup and up to his lips. "We can have this."
Jing Beiyuan has to close his eyes against the bleeding sincerity of his voice. This is what he’d miscalculated. The fortune-telling, the rabbits, the house arrest, he’d thought all of it was working but apparently Helian Yi has decided to see love in Beiyuan's diligence and uncertainty in his distance.
Never mind that, what's his way out? He’d never planned for this. He doesn't really have an exit strategy that involves a jilted emperor.
"Your Highness," he tries again, opening his eyes.
"Shh," Helian Yi says and kisses him.
It's– ah, fuck. He's so gentle. He holds Jing Beiyuan's face like he's made of porcelain. What's the story he's told himself about this? Jing Beiyuan, distantly pining, never allowing himself to believe he could have who he wanted, drowning himself in booze and brothel boys. Who’s never been kissed like he was precious or loved, whom Helian Yi must touch with the utmost care.
He's half-right. Jing Beiyuan remembers this. Helian Yi's lips warm with wine, the scent of his robes. He remembers stolen kisses in hidden corners of the palace, sinking into each other's arms in private inn rooms with Zhou Zishu keeping watch. Kissing the gasps from Helian Yi's lips as his legs wrapped around Jing Beiyuan's hips, urging him on.
What's one kiss, compared to all that? What's five or ten or… If he knows what's coming down the line he can prepare for it and then get out in time. He wouldn't look for love in this again, but it had been fun, hadn’t it? Easy when it had been good, grounding when the choices they’d had to make had become overwhelming.
Jing Beiyuan slides his hands up Helian Yi's collar and moves to the edge of his chair to get closer. Lets himself be drawn in. Helian Yi really does kiss the way Jing Beiyuan remembers, even without Jing Beiyuan to learn with. What does fate have to say about that?
He laughs at that, just a small huff against Helian Yi's lips. He feels Helian Yi’s smile curl up against his skin.
"Beiyuan," Helian Yi starts, moving his hand to the back of Jing Beiyuan's neck—
Jing Beiyuan is leaping to his feet before he's even realized he's moved.
"Beiyuan!" Helian Yi startles, horrified. Jing Beiyuan grips the back of his chair, trying to ignore the nausea and the burning afterimage of Helian Yi's touch. "What happened? Did I hurt you?"
You held me down at the neck and peeled the fur off my shaking body, Jing Beiyuan thinks. This is why it's best not to get too close to humans.
"Beiyuan," Helian Yi says, again, tentatively, getting out of his chair. Jing Beiyuan steps back. He has to leave before he's sick in the Crown Prince's estate. He'll figure out how to fix this later.
"I'm sorry, Your Highness," he says, and runs.