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Philip knocked on Henry´s door.
It´s been quite a few years since he had done that, probably hadn´t since he was in his early twenties and now, he was getting closer and closer to third, which made him cringe a little bit. It meant that he was closer to fifty then twenty. Philip did not enjoy to get older, it only meant he had less time to build up a legacy for later generations of royals.
He had passed Henry’s royal equerry, Shaan Srivastava, on his way to his brother's room. The tall Indian man had tried to tell the oldest prince that Henry probably wasn’t in the best mood to talk to him at the moment, but Philip had waived him off, saying that it’s was important family matters.
He knocked again.
Philip was actually here to have a somewhat serious talk with he’s younger brother. Pretty big news, and he figured he should tell him in person and not just send him a text or tell Shaan to tell him. They were brothers after all.
When Henry didn’t open the door this time either, Philip frowned. Maybe the youngest prince wasn’t in his room. Maybe he was practicing polo or out for a walk. He should probably just send him a text and say he wanted to talk to him. Philip was just about to turn around when he heard a quiet bark inside of Henry’s, which meant that David the Beagle was inside, which meant that Henry was there as well. His brother never left his beloved dog inside his room alone for a long time, and David did follow him like a... well, like a dog.
Philip knocked once more, hard this time, when he finally heard a loud groan for the other side of the door. A few seconds later, Henry opened the door and jerked back a few inches when he says his older brother face.
“Philip?”
Henry’s hair was a mess, and his eyes had dark circles under them and they were red and swollen. It’s was obvious that he’d been crying.
“What happen?” he asked the same second Henry said: “What are you doing here?”
“I was going to talk to you about something, but that can wait. Why are you crying?” Philip said,
Henry quickly dried his eyes and looked away.
“I´m not.”
“I´m not fucking blind, Henry. Why are you crying?” Philip answered, a little offended.
Henry didn’t meet Philip´s eyes, and it struck Philip how little he could read about his brother’s body language. Sure, they hadn’t been very much in contact for the past years, not since their dad had passed, but Philip couldn’t really retell when he had actually been able to tell Henry’s body language. And for some reason it made him feel like less of a brother.
“I honestly don’t see why I should tell you of all people.” Henry said with a dry tone, still not looking Philip in his matching blue eyes.
And Philip had to admit, that hurt a little bit. Again, sure, they hadn’t ever been very close, not ever. It had always been Henry and Bea who were the closer siblings, the siblings that went out together, the siblings who laughed together, the siblings that neither of them saw the point of why Philip tried so hard to make a good legacy and doing all of the things he was expected to do as the oldest son to the future queen and as the oldest grandchild to the current one. And Philip knew he would never be the kind of brother Henry would look up to, he had known for years at this point, but to hear his youngest sibling, and only brother, say to his face that he would rather tell his equerry about his problems, rather than his own brother, that only said how actual of a bad brother Philip had to be.
Philip frowned.
“Am I that shitty of a brother to you?”
For the first time in these minuets together, Henry met his eyes.
“Do you want me to answer that in a nice way of an honest way?” he asked dryly, lifting one of his brows. Philip had always been jealous of how high he could do it, it reminded him way too much of their dad used to do that in his movies, and it reminded Philip so much of those days they all snuck out the Victoria and Albert Museum in the early mornings and when their dad whispered to both of them that he was a very lucky dad with such handsome boys as his sons.
Philip signed.
“Look, I know more than anyone I haven’t been the best brother to you. But believe it or not, I do care. And I know I haven’t showed you for the past years, past decade even, that I do. Maybe you haven’t thought of it in this way before, but I’m not the only one of us who haven’t giving it a try to trying to make things right or showing that I care about you. I'm your brother for god's sake! Of course I care!”
They locked eyes for a few seconds in the silent. Henry looked at him in sort of mildly shocking way, a way that tried to read him, to see if he was being serious or not. He then seemed to realize that Philip hadn’t joked around him since they were kids, because he signed and opened the door further.
“Get in.”
They walked inside in silent. Henry threw himself on the cream sheets, looking up at the ceiling. David the Beagle jumped up next to him and curled himself close to his owner, laying his head on one of the pillows. Philip would never approve of having a pet in his bed, not even the sofa, but since David only did it inside of Henry’s four walls, he didn’t see it as a problem.
He looked around the room he had barley been in at all. It was a nice one, he wouldn’t mind living there himself when he still lived in the Buckingham Palace, but he had chosen to live closer to the Queen, in case Mary wanted something form him. Henry had seemed to have thought the opposite, to get so far away from their grandmother as possibly. He looked over to this brother, who was carefully studying him from his bed.
“So,” Philip said. “how’s it going?”
Henry laughed right out. A very dry and sad laugh.
“The fucking worst I’ve been since dad passed. Thanks for asking.”
“How so?” Philip frowned.
Henry’s eyes kind of zoned out of focus, somewhere where Philip couldn’t see. Philip hadn’t been in the country when their dad had actually passed. He had been on the other side of the world, doing his military part, when his general had walked up to him, taking him aside and told him that he had received a call from his mother, Catherine, and she had told him through sobs and tears that Arthur Fox had passed away just two hours earlier. And Philip had... well. He had been in denial. He knew Arthur wouldn’t pass away without a fight. He would call and make sure that he could have a moment alone with his oldest son, to tell him that he wanted Philip to look after their family, to tell him that was a proud father, to tell him that he shouldn’t miss him too much and that he would look after them from whatever energy he came back too. To tell him that he loved him. He was in denial until the very moment he called his mother and she answered her phone crying. Philip had fought back the tears with all of him power, but they had still fallen down from his eyes. He had flown back home for the funeral and Henry had been like a ghost. He had been pale, in the background and, despite being the tallest of them all, being very, very small. He would barely speak for the following weeks and he was always seen with swollen and red eyes.
Philip was reminded of that now when he was looking at his brother lying on his bed.
“I... I’ve gotten the one thing I've wanted for years now. It has been the fucking best months since we were kids, Philip. I’ve got everything I have asked for and being more than willing to give anything in return. But at the moment it all came down to the final punch, I fucking ran away. Because I knew I couldn’t have it forever, and I’ve been aware of it, but I wanted it to last. But I’m a fucking coward and I fucked everything up over with a few words.”
Henrys eyes were overflowing with tears now. Philip sat down at a chair close to the bed and looked at the French book that was lying on the nightstand.
“Did you break up with your secret girlfriend?” he asked, reaching for the book.
Henry’s jaw bulked and he signed loudly. “No.”
Philip flipped through the book in his hands. It was the “Le Monde”.
“Secret boyfriend, then?”
At that, Henry flipped his head so fast, Philip thought his neck were going to snap. He looked at Philip with a wild gaze in his blue eyes. Like he couldn’t believe that Philip actually suggested that Henry might have a boyfriend and not a girlfriend or a friend with benefits. But Philip had decided that he wasn’t here to judge; he was here to listen.
It took a few moments before Henry broke the silence.
“You’re not gonna yell at me?”
“Why would I yell at you?” Philip asked with frowned brows.
“Because I'm gay, Philip.”
“And?”
“ ’And’ ?” Henry almost seemed madder that Philip wasn’t yelling at him. “You know damn well why.”
“You think because you’re gay, you’re less valid?”
“No! Of course not!” Henry was getting angry at this point, Philip could tell, but in his defense, he was only asking a question.
“Just because I'm gay doesn’t make less of a person and I know that! But the fact that I'm a fucking prince, how’s supposed to get tuns of children and build up this whole fucking nation because that’s what expected of me! I'm can’t be who I am and do that at the same time.”
“You know there are ways for you to have biological kids if that’s what you’re worried about.” Philip said, lifting one of his brows, not as high as Henry could, but still high.
Henry made a frustrated sound before de sat up so he could face his brother for real.
“You’re missing the point, Philip!” He dragged his fingers though his hair, grabbing it at the roots. “I know I can have kids; I know I can be gay, but I can’t be thanks to this ‘monarchy’. Not thanks to Gran.” there was an icy tone when Henry mentioned their grandmother, like Henry had already had this talk with the Queen, and like that conversation had not gone well.
“And you of all people! You’re the only one of us that is as obsessed with this fucking monarchy as Gran. I can’t be with him because my position doesn't allow it! And you of all people should me yelling at me, lecture me that I can’t be this stupid that I’m gay, that it’s just a fucking phase. That fucking royals can’t be queer!” Henry’s voice broke at the end.
He took a deep breath, dried his eyes and straightened his back, his eyes having the same glimpse as their mother had, the one that made her the fearless princess she had been all those years ago. Philip hadn’t seen it for years.
“I’ll ask you again. Why aren’t you yelling at me? ”
Philip looked down at his hands that were neatly braided together in his lap. Why weren’t he yelling? All of what Henry had said had been true, and it had felt like a bitch slap for every statement he had laid out between them.
Philip knew that there had always been something about Henry he could never lay his finger on, he had never shown any interest in any girl he had been on dates on, not more than being polite or asking some questions that where suiting, but he had never gone on more than two or three dates. And, Philip would admit, the thought had crossed his mind, that Henry was gay. And thinking about it now, knowing Henry was gay, there had been times when a few of his old uni friends had asked him about Henry, more than it should been normal, but at the time, he hadn’t notice. And especially one of his mates, Oliver (who was openly pansexual) had seemed to ask about him a lot.
“I guess because I found one more puzzle piece I have been looking for when it comes to your puzzle.” Philip said. “There always been things I don’t understand about you, and now there is one more thing I know, which means that the, maybe 100 pieces I have about you in these 1000 pieces puzzle, is finally matching. I found another piece. And I'm glad I found this specific piece of the puzzle, because it connected to many more pieces that I couldn’t fit before. And I want you to know that I don’t look at you different now. If more, I quite admire you, H.”
Philip lifted his head and met his brother’s eyes. Many people who were close to the royal family used the nickname on Henry, but Philip couldn’t bring himself to remember the last time he called Henry that.
Henry himself just looked at him. Processing what his older brother had just said.
“And while I’m still going, you being gay doesn’t make you less of a prince,” Henry rolled his eyes. “Let me finish. A royal is supposed to do whatever is he, she or they, can to unite their country. A royal duty is not to bring children to the world. And I'll come back to that topic soon.”
“Maybe not, but Gran would never accept anything else.” Henry signed.
“Oh please, Henry. Gran won’t be around long enough to see you have kids. You still running around on party's and flying around the world, and you’ll still be doing that for a few years.”
“Did you just insult Gran ?” Henry said, the corner of his lips twisting.
“Maybe I did.” Philip said, a little pleased with himself that Henry has actually thought it was funny.
“But I'm saying; you’re not less of a prince or a royal because you’re gay. And Gran just has to live with it.”
“You honestly think she will? She would go down and bring me and my gay ass with her to the grave, and you know it too.” Henry huffed, patting David on his head.
“But you don’t have to give in,” Philip said, surprising himself and Henry. “Gran is living in the old days. You and this guy, or some other guy, can show her that today is not fifty years ago.”
“You don’t think I want to do that?” Henry said, frustrated.
“Well, since you cut it off, it seems like you don’t.” Philip simply said.
To that, Henry shut his mouth. He looked down, and looking quite embarrassed and heartbroken.
“Why aren’t you yelling at me?” he asked quietly, soft tears falling from his eyes.
“Because I don’t see why I should. You're still a human being, Henry. We all do what we think is right in the moment, but the way we get there, might not always be the way we wanted it to happen. And I don’t see why you broke up with him, you obviously were in deep.” Philip shifted on the chair. “I’m not blind, Henry.”
Henry snorted.
“You sure?”
Philip frowned.
“I’m stubborn, not ignorant.”
“Both Bea and I can argue with that statement. Where on the list do you want to start?” Henry asked with a dry laugh.
“Not that ignorant.” he huffed.
Henry stopped and looked Philip up and down for a few seconds, trying to read his body language, his face and his thoughts. And although it had only been around half an hour, this was already the most time the two of them had been together for years. And Philip had to admit that it was nice being with his brother and talking about his problems.
“No, maybe not that ignorant.” Henry confirmed after a while.
They sat quiet for a moment, and Philip remembered when their father had taken the brothers out for lunch when Philip was thirteen. Henry had been nine and very fascinated with big Actias Luna what had been flying close by their table. He had run off with the royal equerry following him. Philip had thought that Henry was being childish and naïve, who got so distracted from a moth? But Arthur had just smiled at him when he pointed out that Henry was being stupid.
“You have to keep an eye on him, Pip.” Arthur said. “He’s a kind soul, and he is just a kid, you know. You're the one who’s getting older now, soon you and Henry has to watch over me, because I'm going to be old, stupid and getting distracted with butterflies.”
“You’re not old, dad.” Philip had huffed. But he looked over at his brother who had managed to catch the big moth in his tiny hands. He run up to them and showed them the creature.
“It tickles when she walks on me!” Henry giggled when Arthur carefully placed the moth on Henry’s forehead.
“I can imagine!” Arthur laughed and took of a photo of the young prince, his eyes shining in the afternoon sun.
Philip hadn’t thought of that memory in many years, but he still thought Henry had been childish and naïve back then. And he had been. But now Philip realized it was because he was a child. And he was a kind soul. Henry always made sure to treat everybody kindly and like his equal, even though he was a prince. But a kingdom only builds like the way you build it. Philip would build it with strategy, a well-planned plan on how to make it big and powerful. While Henry would build it with his heart, kindly and proud. That was the biggest different between the brothers of Wales.
“You have to keep an eye on him, Pip.”
Philip hadn’t.
He took a deep breath before asking:
“May I ask who he is? Or was, I guess.”
Henry gave him a side eye.
“I’m pretty sure you would kill me if I did.”
“You think so?” Philip frowned.
“Positive.” Henry nodded.
“Why? Was it one of my friends from uni?”
The tips of Henry’s ears got pink, but he shook his head.
“No.”
Although he wouldn’t meet Philip’s eyes, which told him that he had in fact hooked up with one of Philip’s friends at least at some point.
“Was it Percy?”
Henry made a face hearing his best friend's full name.
“I’ve never dated Pez, and don’t call him ‘ Percy’ , it’s sounds weird.”
“But he’s queer, right?”
“Yes, but they don’t have a label on their sexuality. They date whoever they want and that’s just how it’s always been.”
“You keep calling, um, Pez, ‘they’, should I change the way I talk about him?” Philip was still unsure about Percy, but he knew he was a great friend to Henry.
“Pez goes by he/they, so he doesn’t mind you calling them ‘he’ or ‘him’, but you could switch them up.” Henry looked at Philip. “They’d appreciate it.”
“Alright, thank you for clarifying. But the two of you never were a thing?”
“You’re welcome. But no. And we probably never will. His like a brother to me.”
At that last sentence, Henry tensed up, and Philip had to admit he did too.
“Ah, sorry.” the younger prince’s ears got pink again.
“No, worries. They've been acting more like your sibling then I've had for the past years.” Philip huffed and looked down at his hands. “Remember that one time he was ready to jump that old lady in Paris for throwing a cany wrapper at your feet? Never have I've seen a person so offended by such a childish act.”
The corner of Henry’s lips twisted as he thought of the memory, maybe were he remembering that ridiculous hat Pez had worn that day, or the bird that had pooped on Philip’s shoulder. Whatever it was, it made him smile.
“Yeah, he is a bit protective about their friends.”
“I can imagine” Philip nodded. Then, again, he asked: “You’re not going tell me who he was?”
Henry looked up at him, a careful look in his eyes.
“I’m positive you’re going to kill me if I do.”
“Why, it can’t be that bad, can it?”
“You would say otherwise if you knew, trust me.”
Could it be that bad? No, Philip had told himself he was just here to listen, but it Henry thought it was bad, this secret relationship he had with this guy, must either had to be someone who could sabotage the whole royal family. Or, there was someone who was very close to Philip himself.
“Was it Oliver?” Philip asked. “He always seemed to have a think for you back in the day. He still asks about you too.”
Henry’s face got read at the mention of Oliver.
“No. But I... might have lost my virginity to him, so...”
Philip almost choked on his own tongue.
“Wait, wait, wait. Olivier took your virginity? When this that happen?”
“I was 17.”
Philip was going to murder Olivier next time he saw him. Seriously! How had one of his best friends gone YEARS without telling him he had slept with his brother?
“What the actual fuck. No wonder he always asked if you were coming along. He's dead meat the next time I see him.”
“It was consensual, Philip.”
“Still. Goddamnit, Oli.”
At that, Henry actually laughed quietly, like he had the audacity to think seeing his brother realize that one of his closer friends took his brothers virginity, was funny. He looked down at David and smiled.
“It wasn’t Oliver. That really was a one-time thing.”
Philip looked over at him.
“Then who was it?”
“Promise you won’t murder me.”
“If it’s as bad as you’re making it seem, then I promise I'll do my best not to murder you.”
Henry nodded, and stayed silent a few seconds before answering. His eyes filled with tears once more.
Wow, he must have really liked him , Philip thought.
“It was Alex.”
Silence.
“Alex...?”
“Yes, that Alex.”
“The, president’s son, Alex?”
“The one and only.” Henry wiped his eyes.
A few seconds went buy.
“Hm.”
Philip sort of spaced out. Picturing his brother and the first son of the U.S. It was... not too hard, actually. Sure, the first son was a young man with an All-American Smile, a humors and sarcastic personality and not afraid to either speak and/or act up if he felt like it. While Henry was a quieter young man, with a charming face, a neutral personality and not speaking up if he was not told.
Or at least, that’s was the Henry Philip knew.
Henry carefully looked over at Philip when he didn’t continue.
“You’re not...”
“Not what?”
The brothers locked eyes.
“Mad?”
“Why would I be mad?” Philip asked.
“Because he’s Alex? The son of the most powerful woman on the planet? He helped crash your wedding? You’ve literally never said a single good think about him.”
“My personal feelings about Alex have nothing to do with your relationship. Is there a reason I should be mad at him for your sake? Did he hurt you?” Philip frowned.
“What? No! Like I said, it was the best months I've had since dad passed.”
At that Philip raised his eyebrow at his younger brother.
“Then why did you break up with him?”
Henry rolled his eyes.
“I literally spent the last hour explaining it to you.”
“And you think that would stop Alex? The Alex Claremont-Diaz? Why, did he not have the same feeling for you?”
Henry snapped his mouth shut and looked away; his eyes full of tears once again. And that’s when it clicked in Philip’s head.
“He did have the same feeling for you, didn’t he? But you were too scared to accept that he loved you too? And you’ve loved him for way longer than he had known, so when he was ready to admit his feelings, you got scared and locked your feelings away?”
Henry didn’t say anything at first. He sat silent and still, letting the tears roll down his face. He was taking his time to find a good way to respond to Philip’s accusations. Then he took a deep breath, his voice shaky;
“I ran away, Philip. He had invited me to his dad’s old lake house and we were swimming in the lake in the middle of the night when he was about to tell me. And I just... I couldn’t hear it. Not when I thought I could just have a piece of him for a while. I couldn’t hear it after that I loved him since 2016. I just couldn’t. So, I ran away. I flew back here and he tried to contact me for a few days but then he stopped, and I thought that was going be it. But then he showed up last night after finding a piece of paper I wrote and put in his pants so many weeks ago and he demanded an answer. We had a fight and he said that I just had to tell him I was done with him and then he’d be back to Washignton for good and never speak to me again and told me write angry poems about him. And I told him to leave... I fucking told him to leave, Pip.”
Henry’s voice broke down into sobs.
And Philip did something he hadn’t done since they were kids and Henry fell of his bike in the Royal Garden; he stood up, took the two steps towards the bed and embraced Henry into a hug.
Henry seemed surprised at first, because he gasped and stiffened up for a split second, before he grabbed the back of Philip’s suit and cried into his neck, shaking and almost desperate for the touch. Philip gently rubbed his hands on his brother’s back, feeling more and more like he’d won the price of the worst brother in the world.
“It’s alright. Let it out, H. Let it out.”
And Henry did. Besides them, David was whimpering. The dog laid his head in Henry’s lap.
They sat there for what felt like forever and just when Philip couldn’t feel his arms anymore, Henry polled way. He wasn’t shaking anymore but the tears were still rolling down his eyes. He ran his hand under his nose.
“Sorry, I probably ruin your suit.”
“No worries. I have a thousand others that look like this one.” Philip said honestly, which made Henry snort.
“Literally every single one of your ‘day-to-day' suits looks like that.”
“That’s what I said.”
Henry chuckled at that and the stayed quiet for a while after that. Philip sat down on Henry’s bed so they sat shoulder to shoulder, like they were kids again and were watching VHS in the, what they called, “the Livingroom”.
The time passed and they still hadn’t said much more to each other, when there was a gentle knock on the door and Bea opened it. She had her back turned to them.
“I thought I'd make you breakfast, otherwise you probably won’t eat at all for the next days, am I right, H?” she said, before turning towards them, a trolley full of food next to her. When Bea and Philip locked eyes, she jumped back into the trolley, almost knocking it over to the ground.
“What the fuck- Philip?!”
He gave her a nod.
“Good morning, Beatrice.”
Bea looked shocked when her eyes shifted back and forth between her brothers on the bed, she rubbed her eyes, like she was making sure she wasn’t hallucinating the whole thing, and when Philip was still in her sight, she just gaped.
“What are you doing here?”
Philip shrugged.
“Well, I was going talk to Henry about something, but we got caught up in another conversation.”
Bea looked at him like she didn’t believe him. Mostly because she probably didn’t. She looked over at her younger brother, who did the same shrugged and dried the corner of his eye. Before Bea could ask him, Henry said;
“I told him.”
She clearly knew what he was talking about because that almost made their sister look like someone had dropped her on the moon.
“You... told him?”
Henry nodded.
“Everything...?”
“Everything, Bea.”
The princess slowly nodded. Then she turned her head to Philip and buried her eyes like knives into his.
“If you ever tell a single soul about this, I will sneak into your house and place wax-paper over your dick, staple it to your inner thigh and shave half of your head and one eyebrow. And that’s not a threat, it’s a promise. Are we clear?”
“Very.” Philip said, lifting his hands in surrender
“Don’t do that, please.” Henry chuckled. “Pip might be stupid, but his not that stupid.” the brothers locked eyes and they both smiled at each other.
“Okay, I clearly missed something big here, ‘cuz if my eyes and ears are not lying, the two of you just smiled at each other and you just called Philip ‘Pip’ .” Bea said, bringing the trolley to the bed. “Sorry I didn’t bring one mug to you too, Philip.”
“Don’t worry, I’ve already had my tea.” Philip said, grabbing a piece of toast.
“You can never have too much tea, Philip.” Henry said, while Bea filled up the two mugs with boiling water. She gave him the mug and sat down with her legs crossed on the bed.
“Agreed. And I'm curious; how come you’re not freaking out about this whole ‘my brother is gay’? Also, who the fuck eats plain toast?” Bea asked, sipping on the tea.
Philip frowned.
“What’s wrong with plain toast?”
“Literally just you would eat plain toast, Pip.” Henry said, retching for his own piece, adding a bunch of stuff on it.
“And that supposed to mean...?”
“That you’re boring.” his siblings said at the same time.
“Wow, guys. I can really feel the love coming from you.” Philip said sarcastically while rolling his eyes.
His siblings giggled at him, and a warm feeling spread in Philip’s body. It was the first time he had made both of his siblings laugh at the same time since they were kids. He couldn’t had been older than nine, which meant that it was twenty years ago last time it had happened.
“But seriously, what did I miss?” Bea asked. “You clearly told him about Alex, but what else? Shaan didn’t say anything about breaking up a fight or even yelling form here.”
Henry shrugged.
“Because we didn’t. We just talked. He got here, saw I was crying and then we talked. And speaking of which; why were you here in the first place?” he turned to the oldest sibling in the room.
Philip looked down on his half-eaten toast.
“It’s not that important.”
“Bullshit, Philip. You almost never show up in person to tell news. So, spill.” Henry said.
Philip stayed silent for a few seconds.
“I was going tell you that me and Martha might have thought of starting our own family.”
Both of his sibling went silent.
“That’s... great.” Bea said, sounding very unsure. “But, um, correct me if I'm wrong, but don’t you hate kids?”
“’Hate’ is a very strong word, Bea.”
“What, would you like me to say ‘strongly dislike them’ instead?”
Philip signed.
“I don’t hate kids. I just get uncomfortable when they cry and I can’t stand being near them when that happens.”
“You know kids cry like 24/7, right?” Bea asked.
“Of course, I do.” Philip signed. “But what am I going do when Martha wants a baby so badly and I can’t say no to her?” He asked.
Philip signed. He loved his wife. He adored her. And she knew he got uncomfortable when a child was crying nearby, but the longing eye she had whenever there was a baby close, Philip couldn’t say no when she had asked him about it last week.
“But, do you want a baby?” Henry asked. “You can’t have a baby if not both of you don’t want it. That's not fair to either of you.”
“You’re not wrong. But I hope the way I feel around children change when we have our own.” Philip threw the last piece of toast into his mouth.
His siblings looked at each other for a split second, then both of them laid their hands on top of Philip’s knee.
“I’m sure you’ll be a great dad, Pip.” Henry said.
“I’ll baby sit.” Bea said.
Philip couldn’t help but laugh out loud. It felt good having this moment with his siblings. Especially after spending years of seeing the two of them being so much closer than he’d ever been with either of them.
“Thank you.”
The royal siblings nodded and smiled at each other.
An alarm went off from Philip’s phone, which reminded him he had other places to be at soon. He straightened his back and took a deep breath.
“I’ll have to leave in short, but before I do; may I borrow your phone, Henry?”
Henry, looking very confused, gave him his phone. Philip scrolled for a few seconds, made a mental note and gave the phone back to his brother.
“There, thank you. I’ll make sure to come around before Mazzy and I leave tomorrow. How about lunch at 12?”
“Ah, sure. Text us the details?” Bea asked as she stood up.
“Yes, I’ll text.”
He gave Henry a nod and started walking to the door, but Bea followed him out.
“I’ll be right back.” she told Henry.
When the door closed, Bea turned to Philip and gave him a look. Then she stood up on her tiptoes and pulled him into a hug, which was the second surprise-hug Philip had gotten today.
“Thank you for looking after him this morning.” she said into his neck. “I saw Alex leave last night. He looked like he’s world had collapsed, and he won’t answer my texts. June tried to get something out of him when he got back but he just wouldn’t talk. I’m really worried about him.” her eyes got glossy. It was clear that both of his siblings were very close to the first son and daughter.
Philip nodded, gently hugging her back.
“I’ll see if I can do something.” he promised.
Bea nodded, then she gave him a wave before going back into Henry’s room again.
Philip walked out of Buckingham Palace, made sure no one were around, before he pulled out his phone and dialed a number. It took a few signals, but then someone answered.
“Hello, it’s June on Alex’s phone?”
“Hello June, this is Philip.”
Silence. Then;
“Oh! Hi! Um, how can I help you?” June asked, clearly confused.
“I wanted to talk to Alex, but if he’s not in the mood to talk at the moment, I'd appreciate you putting me on speaker so he at least can hear me.”
“Ah, sure, hold on.”
A moment passed. A whisper in the other end.
“He can hear you now.”
“Thank you, June.”
Philip took a deep breath. He was really doing this, wasn’t he?
“Hello Alex, this is Philip. I’m very much aware of this being very unexpected and weird that I'm calling you, but I am doing it on my siblings' behalf. They didn’t ask me to call you. Neither of them knows of me doing it either, if you’re wondering. You see, I had big news that I wanted to tell my brother when I found him crying in his room and we’ve spent the last hour and a half, two hours, spending time and talking with each other, which is more then we have done in many, many years. And I want you to know that I know. About you two. And I also want you to know that the two of you are being the biggest idiots I've ever known off. My brother is a coward of telling you to leave last night, and I'm sure you feel something similar. But the way he described the relation he had with you, the way he felt and how awful he looked and sounded... I haven’t seen him like that since our dad passed away. And this is Henry’s words, not mine; ‘It has been the fucking best months since we were kids, Philip. I’ve got everything I have asked for and being more than willing to give anything in return.’.
Now, I don’t know exactly what you two talked about last night, but I know it didn’t end well. And I know you are hurt. I know this whole thing didn’t go down as you thought it would. Neither one of you wanted it to end, I could tell that much out of this. He loves you very much, Alex. He was trembling when he said he told you to leave, and I'm pretty sure it’s one of his biggest regrets in life.
I think you already know this, but Henry is one of those people who don’t think he deserves to be loved. And I am sure I’m part of that reason he doesn't think he can be that. I haven’t thought about it before, if I'm being honest. I only had the sight for what I needed to do to please the queen and to do what was expected of me. I was so focused on that my whole life, that I forgot about the people around me. But I got reminded about it today. Believe it or not, but I got both of my siblings to laugh today, it might be the first time in twenty years.”
Philip chuckled.
“It felt good to do that. And I know I've never been the brother that Henry wanted. Or needed. But I hope I can change that. One time dad told me that I needed to keep an eye on Henry. We were out for lunch and Henry, being nine, and a naïve child, saw a moth and ran after it. And thirteen-year-old Philip, thought he was stupid and pointed it out to their dad who said that one day they had to look after their dad one day, when he was old, stupid and got distracted by butterflies. But we will never get to that part, will we?”
Philip looked up at the sky. He was not going cry now.
“But I didn’t. Keep an eye on Henry, that is. But Pez did. Henry told me they were like a brother to him. I'll admit it hurt a little bit, but I know it’s true. And Bea did as well. I've always felt left out of our little sibling group, and for a good reason too, I guess. But I hope I can change that, and getting them both to laugh feel like a good start.
So, I wanted to thank you, Alex. For keeping an eye on him, because I didn’t. And thank you for loving him too. And I guess I should thank you too, June. And Nora as well. All three of you have done something to Henry that not very many people haven’t been able to do in many years. And that’s making him feel loved.
So please, Alex. I’m not here to excuse his behavior or saying that you should accept his apology if he contacts you, because that’s totally up to you. But please don’t do the mistake I did. For not seeing him.”
Philip breathed out. He had not realized how much those words had weighted on himself. But once they were out, he knew they were true.
There was silence from the other line. All Philip could hear was the ruffle from, what he guessed, was sheets. A sniffle. Then a sigh.
“’Your brother is the biggest asshole I've ever meet’. That's what I said about you, you know.” Alex voice were raspy, he had clearly been crying.
“’Your friend has the biggest ego I've ever seen’. That’s what I said about you.” Philip answered.
Alex snorted, and Philip could hear June giggle in the background.
“What’s so bad about having a big ego if I can’t share it with His Royal Highness Prince Philip?”
“You’re not wrong.” Philip chuckled.
Alex breathed out loudly.
“How... how is he?”
Philip looked down at his shoes.
“I think you already know how he is, because I can imagine you feel like it too.”
“So, like someone ripped your heart out, smashed into a million pieces then gluing it together and said: sorry, where this important to you?”
“Sounds about right, yeah.”
Alex sighed and next time he spoke his voice were breaking.
“I just- fuck... I just love him so much...”
Philip closed his eyes and nodded, even though Alex couldn’t see him.
“I know.”
“Do you know if there anything we can do?” June asked and it sounded like she was crying too.
Philip looked up at the part that were Henry’s room.
“He’s with Bea right now, so he should be as fine as he can, at the moment.” Philip said. “So, the only think I could recommend you to do is to call Bea if you want to get in contact with him, because I'm not sure he will answer his own phone if either of you call. But you guy knows him better at this point than I do.”
That statement only got a whimper from Alex as an answer. There were ruffles and then there was a low voice that didn’t belong to either of the Claremont-Diaz siblings.
"Come here, big guy...” Nora said. Philip guessed that she had been in the room the whole time, but she hadn’t said anything.
There were more ruffles and then sobs from Alex. June pulled up his phone a few seconds later.
“Sorry, Philip. Lots of emotions here as you can imagine.” She sniffled. “But thank you for calling, really. I think this cleared up a lot.”
“Happy to help.” Philip answered, then a little bit quieter he added: “Do you mind keeping me updated from your sides? I’m not sure what I’ll do right now to make this better. I know it’s a fresh cut for all of you, but I want to help.”
“That’s very sweet of you, Philip” June said sounded very honest. “I’ll keep you updated. And I get the feeling that you haven’t opened up about your feelings about your sibling to them, haven’t you? But I'll be honest and I hope this makes you feel any better; I think this is exactly what the brother Henry both wanted and needed, would do.”
Philip could feel his eyes fill up with tears at those words. He quickly dried them away and cleared his throat.
“I- Thank you, June. That means a lot.”
“No, thank you , Philip.” and he could hear the smile on her face when she said that.
They hung up and Philip looked up at the sky once more. He had done the right thing in this moment, hadn’t he? He hoped he had. Arthur had told him to keep an eye on his brother, and he was just fifteen years too late.
Philip got into his car and he was about to texted Bea where to meet him tomorrow for lunch when he saw he got two notifications;
One was a picture from Bea; it was Henry holding a photo album from their childhood, David the Beagle had his head in his owners' lap, and Henry was holding up a picture of all three of the royal siblings. It wasn’t one of the royal photos, that they took every year, this was from one of the photos from the album their parents kept. The Fox-siblings were reading a children's book, six years old Bea holding up the book to show her brothers the pictures, and a four years old Henry sitting in eight years old Philip’s lap.
“Starting to feel like old times, eh Pip?”
Philip smiled at the photo. He liked the message and send a heart.
The next one was from an unknown number, but it was a picture of Alex cuddled down between June and Nora, covered in blankets and pillows, in a gray hoodie that looked very much like one of Henry’s.
“Dealing with a breakup with movies, ice cream and coke. Send our love to Bea and Henry<3”
“It’s June btw”
Philip smiled again and saved the number under “June Claremont-Diaz" and saved the number he had called under “Alex Claremont-Diaz".
“Looks comfortably. And I will.”
He put away his phone and drove off.
-
Philip tried to focus on the meeting he had with one of the royal planers for an event that was coming up, but he really could not take his mind of the “Henry and Alex” problem. What more could he do? He had already talked to both of them, he gave the only advice he could think of to Alex and his friends. He hadn’t talked to Pez, but he figured they would find out soon enough from his siblings. Should he put Henry on a jet and fly him to The White House so the young men could talk in person? Should he fly Alex back here? No, he the first son had already flown back and forth to the UK this past day, so he was most likely jetlagged. Maybe he should go himself? Fly to the U.S to talk more to Alex about this? No, he was not going be able to say much more to Alex. Maybe he could-
Philip felt a warm hand on his knee.
“You alright, love?” Martha gently asked in a low voice.
Philip threw a look her way. Her light brown hair was brushed away from her face and her beautiful clear green eyes were looking at him with curiousness and a slightly worries in them. She was dressed in a cream-colored polo shirt with the simply silver chain with a small diamond necklaces he had given her for their engagement. Martha was the most beautiful woman Philip had ever seen, and he was so thrilled that she was his wife.
“Yeah... I am.” he said back and liked their fingers together under the table. “But, Henry’s not.”
Martha lifted her brows, then nodded.
“Tell me after this boring meeting is over?”
“Of course.” he brought their hands up to his lips and kissed hers.
When the meeting was finally over, the couple walked off to an empty room and closed the door after them. Martha turned to her husband and took a carefully look at him before she opened up her arms and he leaned into the embraced and locked his arms around her waist and buried his head into her neck. They stood there for a few minutes before Martha gently asked:
“So, what’s going on?”
Philip sighed and told her. He told her about everything. Henry and Alex, Henry’s meltdown, Bea’s threat, the call too Alex and June, his own feeling over the past years, Oliver and Henry, the broken promise he had made to his dad and the laugh he had with his siblings after he had told them about the possible baby that was going to come eventually.
Martha gently dried the few tears that rolled down Philip’s cheeks when he was done.
“Sounds like you did all you could do, love.” she said with a kind smile on her face. “And I'm very proud of you for doing all of this.”
“But there must be more I can do. I just need the two of them to talk to each other, But Henry most likely won’t call Alex himself and he most likely won’t answer if Alex calls. If he calls. He said that all he needs to hear to leave Henry alone was for him to say he was done with him, which he did! God, why are they such big idiots?!”
Martha dragged her hand into his hair.
“Just give them time, Pip. It happened last night , of course it’s a fresh cut for both of them. And if then love each other as much as you say they do, I don’t think it will take too long until they find their way back to each other. You have done enough. I get the feeling that both Henry and Alex know you’ve done your best for both of them. Just the fact that you called Alex was a huge deal breaker. And for Henry was that you actually stayed and didn’t judge him for his choses, at least not to his face. Even Bea saw that you tried to help, and that’s exactly the kind of brother I would have wanted if I were her.”
She leaned in and gave him a soft kiss on the lips.
“Everyone can see you’ve taking a part in this, and I think you should be proud of it.”
Philip nodded and leaned his forehead against his wife’s. Great Lord, he loved her so much.
-
Philip was sitting at his breakfast table, a cup of tea in his hands, and looked out the window, taking in the morning sun. He had thought much for the past hours, how to help his brother and the man he loved, but he had come to the conclusion that he couldn’t do much more then he already had. Martha was right. If his brother and his lover loved each other as much as he could tell, they would find a way to talk to each other again.
When he had woken up this morning, Martha had still been asleep next to him, like she usually was. She had admitted on their first meeting that she wasn’t a morning person, and that her mother gave her hell for it when she was younger. So, Philip had the habit of always letting her sleep about thirty minutes after they were supposed to wake up. After all of these years of living together, he had learned that she had made a schedule for her mornings, a schedule that allowed her to sleep as long as possible, but also getting ready for the day. And Philip loved this part of his mornings. To see the sun, kiss his wife’s naked shoulders, her wavy hair all over the pillows and the cute huffs she did in her sleep.
His thoughts wondered away. Was this what Henry was so afraid of to have? The person he loved next to him every morning, his curly hair on the pillows, his dark skin under the sheets, his smile when he saw Henry looking at him?
Philip sighed and sipped on his tea.
He had texted Bea the location and time for their lunch together, he had chosen a small place where he knew they could have a privet conversation, mostly for Henry’s sake. Maybe he should have just cooked for them himself, it would be more like “family time”?
“Still thinking about Henry’s problem, huh?” Martha yawned when she walked into the kitchen in her morning rob.
He gave her a little smile.
“Is it that obvious?”
“Yes.”
She walked up next to him and placed a kiss on his temple, running her warm hand over his shoulder blades, making small circles.
“I just want them to be happy.” Philip admitted, sinking into her touch.
“They will, eventually.” Martha guaranteed.
Just then, Philip got a call from Henry. He pulled the phone to his ear.
“Morning, Henry-”
“Philip, you sick son of a bitch! I fucking love you so much!” his sister screamed into his hear.
“Jesus Christ, Bea! Why are you screaming? What happen?”
“Because you are a fucking idiot!!! June just called me and she asked if she could talk to Henry and it took a lot of convincing, but he finally took the phone and June had swapped it to Alex. He said that you had called them yesterday and told them about how he, June and Nora and made him feel loved and how he shouldn’t do what you did and God, Philip!” Bea was crying now. “You really are the worst brother out there; you know that right?”
Philip could feel himself tens up. A ball of ice started to form in his stomach.
“You fucking told Alex and June how you thought you had failed as our brother and then you just don’t tell us that you’ve always felt left out? Fucking why, Philip?! You’re the most idiotic person I know of, you fucking got Alex to try again. You fucking made Henry want to fight, you really did all of that in just o few hours. And I don’t think no one else could had made either of them realizing that.” Bea sobbed. “You made it right again, Pip.”
“I, I really had no idea of what I was doing.” Philip said in a bit of a shaky voice, the ball of ice shrinking. Martha hugged him from behind over his shoulders.
“Really, I just went with the flow.”
“But you fucking did it!” Bea was clearly smiling; he could hear it on her voice.
“I guess I did.” Philip smiled at his wife, who was smiling big back at him.
“Were’s Henry? Why are you calling from his phone?”
“He’s still talking to Alex,” Bea said. “It looks like he won’t be here for much longer, care for a brunch instead for lunch?”
“Count me in.” Philip answered, still smiling.