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Bucky stared at the note within his fingers struggling to ignore the way the words on the page caught his attention. Much like the first few notes he’d been delivered in various places throughout the tower meant for his eyes alone, Bucky was met with one line that left him feeling flattered and a little bit excited in the discovery of each note finding himself more curious with each tiny, colorful piece of stationary that had worked itself through his fingers. Smiling to himself, Bucky couldn’t help, but take note of the craftiness behind his admirer’s attempts at reaching him with a sentence and a doodle all meant to make him smile. Each note was typed out and printed to refrain from revealing the sender, yet the message was clear with each smiling face attached to the tiny page he’d been delivered. Bucky had a secret admirer in the tower.
Now unable to hide his latest smirk, Bucky read over the latest message on the yellow-colored sheet before him.
I THINK YOU’RE CUTE!
“What are you looking at Buck?” Steve questioned entering the kitchen only to discover Bucky standing near the sink with the tiny note in his hand and a goofy grin on his face.
“Nothing,” Bucky lied tucking the note into his pocket and looking over at his friend with a neutral expression on his face. He stood up straighter and tried to recompose himself, but judging by the expression on Steve’s face the damage had already been done, “I was just…”
“Got another note today, huh?” Steve teased with a hint of amusement behind his laughter. Unable to resist taking a closer look, Steve rushed over to Bucky and poked at his side eager to steal a glimpse of Bucky’s latest message, “Let me see it.”
‘No,” Bucky shook his head in refusal clenching the note tighter in his palm within his pocket.
“Come on,” Steve stepped forward reaching out to Bucky’s pants pocket in the hopes of snatching away the note Bucky had been delivered, “Let me see it!”
“No,” Bucky replied to slapping Steve’s fingers away, shaking his head in refusal when Steve kept at it, pursuing the issue in reaching out to Bucky again. In doing so Bucky smacked at Steve’s fingers before offering a stern warning, “Stevie, knock it off! I mean it!”
“What?” Steve stepped back and rolled his shoulders, unable to hide the amusement behind his eyes, “I want to see it. That’s like what? The third one this week?”
“Fifth,” Bucky corrected grudgingly reaching into his pocket and withdrawing the tiny piece of paper. He held it within his fingers feeling the warmth that carried over him in the sentiment behind the message he’d been delivered. It was simple and understated, but enough to bring a ridiculous smile to Bucky’s face regardless of how strange it was in receiving the notes to begin with.
“Fifth?” Steve repeated looking down to the page that Bucky grudgingly handed over to him, “Already? When did the fourth arrive?”
“Yesterday,” Bucky replied reaching into his pocket and handing the note over to his best friend, “When I was in Tony’s lab it was there waiting for me just like the first one that I found.”
“In the lab too?” Steve’s brow arched with interest, taking the time to look at the two notes he was holding before his grin expanded. Shifting the tone of his voice, Steve raised it up an octave to be sickly sweet to match the feel of the notes, “I really like you!!! I think you’re cute! Oh look. This one has you smiling, and it shows your dimpled chin.”
“Shut up,” Bucky swiped the notes away from Steve before Steve discovered just how hot Bucky’s face was at the silly little notes he’d been given over the last week. They’d been spread out over the last few days leading up to something of a curiosity for Bucky.
Each morning Bucky found himself waking up anticipating a new one waiting for him around the tower out in the open in places Bucky frequented. At first when Bucky spotted one in Tony’s lab, he assumed it was a mistake. Then when a second one showed up in his locker after a training session, he’d been surprised, but now each morning was filled with curiosity and eagerness to see what his secret admirer would say to him to brighten his day.
“I think it’s adorable,” Steve crooned further now that Bucky was certain that his cheeks were a deep shade of crimson.
“What’s adorable?” Tony’s bored voice questioned. He moved into the kitchen to discover the two best friends chatting with one another near the sink. The sound of his voice caused Bucky’s eyes to dart up towards Tony’s arrival, swallowing down a nervous breath when Tony worked his way into the kitchen in the middle of Steve’s teasing.
“Buck’s gone and got himself a secret admirer,” Steve announced much to Bucky’s dismay.
“Is that right?” Tony questioned barely looking up from the pages of notations he was going over for a project Nick Fury had asked him to consult on. He moved across the kitchen stretching his fingers out towards the coffee pot with little to no interest in what was happening with Steve and Bucky beyond noticing that they were in the room with him.
“He’s been getting love notes all week,” Steve added when Tony looked up from the coffee pot to barely acknowledge Bucky standing near the sink.
“All week huh?” Tony asked setting his pages down on the countertop careful to avoid getting them wet on the countertop where Clint hadn’t bothered to clean up the milk that had spilled out of his cereal bowl in between gaming sessions. Frowning at the mess, Tony reached for a dish towel and wiped at the counter’s surface before resuming in his task at hand. Opening the cabinet door, Tony hadn’t bothered to await Bucky’s response before pulling out a mug for his own coffee, “Seems like they’re pretty determined with it.”
“Yeah,” Bucky’s voice grew quieter as his face turned a deeper shade of crimson. He observed the man that he’d been thinking about often pouring himself a mug of coffee across the way not too concerned with Bucky’s new admirer. It was both a disappointment and a relief as Bucky had hoped that the mention of the notes would spark something from Tony, but much to Bucky’s dismay it hadn’t.
“Hmph…” Tony’s response was less than Bucky had hoped for as Tony searched through the mugs before him seeking out one beyond the one that he’d initially grabbed. He kept his back turned to Bucky, not bothering to look over him as Bucky’s heart sank with disappointment.
“Yeah,” Bucky sighed repeating himself before dropping his chin down to stare at the floor beneath his feet. He shuffled them side to side on the floor wishing that he could just be swallowed up within the tile and disappear when Tony’s refusal to deliver any kind of response left Bucky feeling even more foolish about Steve including Tony in their conversation. Not that it mattered anyway since Tony was obviously not interested in Bucky the way Bucky had thought about him.
“It’s really kind of adorable,” Steve piped in either oblivious to the tension in the air between Tony and Bucky or just doing what he always did in trying to make things as relaxed as possible with the team, “Knowing that someone is sweet on Bucky. The notes are a nice touch I would think.”
“I’m sure,” Tony continued to shuffle through the cabinet in front of him, refusing to engage in a deeper conversation, “and they were sending them for a while, huh?”
“Uh-huh,” Bucky mouthed wishing like hell that he could tell Tony how he really felt about the things they hadn’t been saying to one another over the last couple of weeks.
Granted Bucky hadn’t thought to vocalize his interest in Tony directly, but it was a moot point after Bucky had made a misstep in trying to awkwardly explain himself at the wrong moment. After that Tony’s disinterest was apparent in the way Tony barely spoke to Bucky after the holiday party where Bucky had messed up big time. Now Bucky was convinced that he was the last person Tony wanted to spend his time with after Bucky had stepped out of line.
“Gives you something to look forward to I suppose,” Tony remarked with casual disinterest in his tone, “If they are doing it on a regular basis.”
Now watching Tony pour his coffee with his back turned to Bucky, Bucky couldn’t help, but find himself gawking at the inventor, imagining all the different ways that Bucky could work up the courage to spark Tony’s interest, but as with every other time Bucky tried to speak to him, his words fell flat leaving Bucky feeing like a blundering idiot in his approach when nothing felt appropriate.
“All week,” Bucky corrected raising his chin up to catch the way that Tony’s posture grew rigid. His back was still turned to Bucky, refusing to deliver him direct eye contact in their conversation.
“Seems persistent,” Tony noted with a small shrug before looking over his shoulder in Steve’s direction, “Can I get you some coffee Cap?”
“Nah, I’m about to head on down to the gym, but Bucky might like some if you’re looking to share,” Steve replied looking from Tony to Bucky again and delivering a suggestive wiggle of his brow as Steve had known full well about Bucky’s mini crush on their benefactor, “Right Buck?”
“I mean if it’s not too much trouble, I guess I wouldn’t mind…” Bucky swallowed down hard wishing like hell that he could just say what he wanted to say where Tony was concerned.
“Great,” Tony replied when a beeping sound filled the kitchen space. It caused Tony to look down to his Stark phone on his side, reaching for it when it was clear he had a new message. He set the coffee pot back on the warmer without a second thought as his eyes scanned the phone’s screen before him. Focused entirely on the screen Tony motioned to the cabinet where he’d pulled his mug from moments earlier before mumbling under his breath in Steve and Bucky’s general direction, “Mugs are up here if you want some.”
“But…” Bucky struggled to get the words out, to say something witty or remarkable to cause Tony to look up from the phone and the papers that were in his hand again. They were taking up his focus entirely right up in his face as Tony sipped on his coffee returning to his business-as-usual mode without bothering to acknowledge Bucky any further. In an instant Tony’s nose was buried in the files as he was already crossing the room in his exit without another giving Bucky’s presence another thought, “great.”
“Later,” Tony raised his hand up over his head and stepped out of the room without a second glance.
“Damn it,” Bucky cursed slumping his shoulders down and leaning up against the counter as once again he’d blown it in coming up with a way to capture Tony’s attention.
“Why don’t you just tell him that you like him?” Steve suggested with a nudge to Bucky’s ribs, “Let him know that you might be interested in getting to know him better.”
“Because you can see how much that would impact his life,” Bucky rolled his eyes and groaned at the thought of working up the courage to make Tony aware of the growing crush that Bucky had upon him over the last few months spent at the tower. Granted, it was a slow simmering thing, but now after Bucky had taken the time to adjust, he was even more drawn to the man that he was convinced would forever hate him.
Then again, Bucky thought to himself when defeat carried over him, maybe that was part of the appeal in knowing that Tony could never return Bucky’s interest.
“Maybe I just like torturing myself over what could never be,” Bucky sighed leaning back against the counter and allowing himself to fall back into the disappointment that he carried with him after every opportunity to reach out to Tony ended without anything beyond a few awkward words exchanged between them.
“You should just talk to him. Clear up the confusion from the party,” Steve suggested when Bucky found himself focusing on the notes in his hands his admirer had delivered him, “I’m sure if you just said something…”
“About how I crashed and burned on Christmas when I took the initiative to kiss him under the mistletoe at that holiday party?” Bucky’s face grew hot at the memory knowing that he’d crossed one too many lines when the eggnog he’d been using for liquid courage hadn’t provided a good enough excuse to explain his inappropriate behavior. At the time, it felt right in so many ways as Tony had responded in kind, delivering a sultry taste of the man that Bucky had admired from afar. In their entanglement, they’d ended up in a corner of the room, pawing at one another in ways that neither had anticipated until someone arrived, and Tony hurried away too embarrassed to tell Bucky to piss off for crossing the line in daring to kiss him.
After it had happened, Bucky realized that Tony was avoiding him at all costs, doing his best to pretend that Bucky wasn’t in the room when others were present. From that day forward they were seldom alone with one another, yet all it served to do was make Bucky feel worse about the way he’d complicated things for everyone else at the tower.
“I don’t think he holds any of that that against you. Technically you were both kissing each other even if he likes to dwell on the fact that you were the one that started it,” Steve suggested.
“Did he say that? That I started it and was to blame for…?” Bucky’s voice cracked with panic.
“No Buck. He hasn’t said anything about it, but maybe you should. You should talk to him. Tell him how you feel,” Steve interrupted Bucky’s condemning thoughts over the memory of the kiss gone wrong, “He’s just busy with the project Fury gave him and could probably use the distraction. If you just approach him on neutral ground and lay it out there when he gets a free moment…”
“Right,” Bucky slumped down and focused on the notes in his hands again, “though I guess it doesn’t matter now that I’ve got these. If Tony doesn’t like me, at least someone else thinks I’m special.”
“There’s the spirit,” Steve stepped in closer to wrap his arm around Bucky’s shoulders and offer up an encouraging squeeze, “but I still think it’s worth taking a chance on if you are interested.”
“Tony hasn’t really talked to me since that night,” Bucky sighed dramatically knowing full well it was a futile battle within to crush on the unreachable Avenger, “I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”
“Start with saying that you like him. See how he feels about that,” Steve suggested delivering another squeeze to Bucky’s shoulders, “If he doesn’t feel the same, then at least you’ll know.”
“Easier said than done,” Bucky let out an ironic laugh, “You weren’t the one who pulled him into a kiss like that and…”
“Maybe not, but Tony likes the unexpected. Even if he takes his time working around the idea in his head,” Steve suggested once again with a smile, “I wouldn’t completely write him off just yet because you never know what could happen if you just talk to him. Plus, he didn’t exactly shove you away at that party. He kissed you back.”
“Yeah maybe,” Bucky’s frown intensified as the printed notes in his hands worked to build up his confidence again.
“Worst case scenario it doesn’t work, but if it does, well…you never know,” Steve continued to deliver a pep talk, “Plus while you might like Tony, if the feeling isn’t mutual, it’s not the end of the world.”
“No, it would just make everything even more awkward than it is already for everyone round here if I put it all out on the line like that,” Bucky raised his chin up to meet Steve’s concerned eyes.
“At least you’ll know Buck,” Steve insisted with a wide grin and a small teasing wink, “On the bright side even if Tony might not feel the same way that you do, there’s someone here that thinks you’re pretty darned special. Worst case scenario is maybe they’ll finally tell you who they are at the New Year’s Eve party tomorrow night.”
“I’m not sure I’m ready for that,” Bucky divulged thinking about the notes he’d received, “especially if it is someone that wants something more and…”
“You can’t spend forever pining over Tony,” Steve reminded him once more, “and if you aren’t going to work yourself up into talking about it with him, then maybe it’s time to let yourself see what else is in store for you down the road. Who knows? You might be pleasantly surprised once you find out who is behind all of this. It might open the door to new options for you.”
“Yeah, I know,” Bucky half laughed staring down at the page when his eyes traveled to the words before him knowing only too well that a secret admirer was the last thing that he’d anticipated finding in his silent agony in having a crush on the one man who certainly wasn’t interested in him. Still a part of him wished like hell that it was Tony offering him attention instead of a hidden admirer too shy to speak up about their feelings for Bucky.
Bucky stretched out across the leather couch in the library at the tower tucked away on the communal floor struggling to focus on the book in his hands. He’d been staring at the same page for an hour going nowhere with his thoughts when the faint sound of feet tiptoeing across the hallway guided him to a new distraction. Unable to mask his curiosity at the sound beyond the open door, Bucky looked over his shoulder to discover a slip of yellow paper being pushed beneath the space between the door and the floor below.
“Got ya,” Bucky mouthed to himself springing up from the couch and rushing over to the door, stealthy and silent in his approach. He paused hearing the soft sounds of tiny steps beyond the door’s opening. He reached for the thick wood and pulled it open just a bit further to peer out from behind the opening. It was then that he noticed the tiny feet moving rapidly down the hallway. In the movement dark colored hair tied up in a ponytail bounced along to the soft sound of giggles as pink unicorn sneakers squeaked on the flooring in a rush of movement. As the courier rounded the corner, it gave Bucky another clue in who was behind sending him his latest note before the flash of color and giggles disappeared down the hallway revealing the truth behind his secret admirer.
“Morgan,” Bucky gasped when suddenly it all made sense. Looking down to the page on the floor, he stepped back and took in a slow breath reaching for the delicate creased paper. Crouched down on the floor, he unfolded the page as the printed words were accompanied by a doodle of a smiling Bucky holding a daisy in his right hand beside the latest message.
I LOVE YOUR SMILE!!! IT MAKES ME WANT TO SMILE TOO!!!
“Of course,” Bucky dropped down to the floor when it all became clearer. Each note had been a small taste of a flattering comment meant to boost Bucky’s ego in ways he would experience as a child. The messages were sweet and innocent, enough to have come from someone with the purest of intentions looking to brighten someone’s day when Bucky finally saw the truth behind his series of love notes.
“Morgan’s my secret admirer,” Bucky mouthed to himself when the mystery was suddenly solved opening the door to a different kind of sweetness behind the note’s intent. Unable to mask the smile that carried over him in thinking about Tony’s daughter sending him positive affirmations to let him know he was a special person to her, Bucky was touched. It was quite different than what he’d been imagining but knowing that Morgan was trying to boost his spirits and make him feel better about himself touched him in all the right ways in letting him see he was an important enough person in her social circle to let him know.
“She’s a great kid,” Bucky thought aloud recognizing the kindness in Tony’s daughter. It was a bright spot as now the notes were less about some mystery person crushing on him and more about a happy, kind-spirited child just wanting to make him smile by spreading happiness in the world around them. However, in thinking about the chilly reception Bucky had been delivered by Tony, Bucky realized that having Morgan as his secret admirer was opening the door to a new kind of tension he feared facing where Tony was concerned if she had a tiny crush on him as well. It was bad enough that Bucky had spent weeks pining away after Tony, but now with Morgan’s precious note in his hand, Bucky struggled to figure out what to do with the new information that had been presented to him as the last thing he wanted to do was upset either one of them.
“Hey Morgan,” Bucky approached the entertainment lounge where Morgan was seated at the small table in front of the television set coloring in an oversized coloring book. She was wearing her oversized art smock with an array of crayons and paints in front of her while Clint and Sam were playing a video game with one another and supposedly supervising her art time. They were both on the couch caught up in the game none too aware of what she was working on while they were challenging each other in a racing cart game. Though Morgan couldn’t be more delighted to have free reign over the tabletop where a variety of colorful images were spread out across the surface, each accented by her artistic abilities when Bucky moved into the table to take a seat beside Morgan, “how are you doing today?”
“James,” she smiled as she looked up from her creation on the page. She blew out a puff of air from her lips attempting to push a loose strand of hair away from her eyes. When that didn’t work, she pushed her tiny fingers up to smack it back as she still held a worn-down crayon in her hand, “hello. I’m good. How are you?”
“Very well. Thank you for asking,” Bucky knelt down across from her at the table and pulled out a box of crayons that he picked up for her before making his trip down to visit her, “I brought you these. I thought maybe you could use more colors at your disposal.”
“Thanks,” she reached out across the table to accept the box of crayons with a smile, “I was running low on red so you’re right on time.”
“There’s plenty of red in there,” Bucky nodded to the oversized box before her on the table.
“Cool,” Morgan replied tearing open the top of the box and pulling out a crimson-colored crayon to continue on her latest masterpiece, “I’ll take this one.”
“That’s a good color,” Bucky swallowed down hard finding himself at a loss on how to let Morgan down gently over her secret ‘crush’ on him. When he’d gotten the last note, Bucky had spoken with Steve, who happened to be talking to Pepper at the time. As Bucky shared the notes with Pepper, Pepper had smiled at her daughter’s generosity and kindness before encouraging Bucky not to break her daughter’s young heart too much in his response as it was clear with Morgan’s messages that she’d taken a liking to Bucky. Now, seated across from Tony’s daughter with Pepper’s permission Bucky struggled to find the words to say what needed to be said going forward, “I got your note today, Morgan.”
“What note?” Morgan questioned pressing the tip of the crayon into the page before her. She kept her head tucked down as she continued to color the oversized dog on the page before her. Focused on the page before her, she stuck the tip of her tongue out in concentration before wrinkling her nose at the splash of color on the page.
“The one you left at the library for me,” Bucky reminded her gently when she continued to pour herself into her work reminding Bucky of Tony in her concentration, “It was a nice drawing on the note you left me.”
“I didn’t draw it,” Morgan scribbled across the page, refusing to meet his eyes. She ran her fingers over the page before her smudging the crayon color that she had just put upon the page. She seemed to be reconsidering her decision with her color selection as she pushed up on her knees to stretch across the page before her on the tabletop, “It wasn’t my note.”
“It wasn’t?” Bucky asked wondering if he’d embarrassed her by putting her on the spot in questioning her earlier actions. Remembering to be gentle in his approach he softened his tone further, “But I saw you outside the door when I was in the library Morgan. I know that you’ve been giving me notes all week and…”
“Not all week,” Morgan stopped coloring long enough to raise her chin up and meet his concerned eyes head on, “Just today.”
“Only today?” Bucky sank down to take a seat on the floor when she nodded again. Behind her big brown eyes there was a solemn expression on her face—one that Bucky wasn’t quite sure how to take when she scrutinized him sitting across from her as if she was considering what to reveal to him in her actions.
“Only today,” she repeated stretching her tiny fingers out towards him, “Can you get me a blue crayon for the sky?”
“Sure,” Bucky nodded obliging her request when she regarded him all over again with the same expression Bucky had caught in Tony in the past.
“Thank you,” she accepted the crayon before discarding the red one she’d been previously working with. Turning her attention to her work again, she began to color at the sky on the page before her, “Can I tell you a secret James?”
“Of course, you can,” Bucky replied watching her at work all over again, “as long as it is a secret you are allowed to share with me.”
“I think so,” Morgan shrugged as she continued to color, “but I really don’t know. I still want to tell you anyway.”
“Alright,” Bucky nodded catching the way that Morgan stopped coloring long enough to regard him once again.
“I saw it in my dad’s lab today, so I wanted to bring it to you,” Morgan explained solemnly holding nothing back in her innocent confession, “It was in his desk in the top drawer where he keeps the rest of the notes that he wrote to you. He’s got another one down there too waiting for you with a drawing of you and Alpine on it.”
“He does?” Bucky’s eyes widened with surprise in Morgan’s confession.
“Uh-huh. She looks really cute in it too. She’s sticking her tongue out and smiling like a dog would,” she brought her hand up to her lips and stifled the giggle that fell from her lips, “He made her look really silly and super furry.”
“So, your dad drew the pictures?” Bucky fought to mask his surprise in Morgan’s innocent admission.
“And wrote the notes,” Morgan nodded scribbling along the page in front of her, “He has a whole bunch of them there that he wrote for you because he wanted to say he likes you.”
“He did, did he?” Bucky observed the way that Morgan continued to color, giving her full attention to her work before her much like Tony did when he was invested in his projects.
Morgan nodded again before tilting her head up to reveal a sly grin, “He really likes you, James.”
“He does?” Bucky fought to contain the encouragement that fell from his lips when Morgan’s confession once again changed the way that Bucky viewed his secret admirer now that he was discovering new layers to the notes he’d been receiving, “Why would you say that?”
“Because he wrote you those notes to show you how special you are,” she stated pausing in her coloring long enough to look at him again.
“Oh, I don’t know if that is…” Bucky opened his mouth to say something to deflect Morgan’s observations.
“I was there when he did it James. He was really happy to tell you how great you are,” Morgan continued to reveal the details of the note writing session with Tony, “Plus, he told me that he likes you. Likes-you likes you.”
“Is that right?” Bucky arched a curious brow.
“Yep,” Morgan nodded emphatically. Getting more excited by the moment she discarded her crayon to place her hands on the tabletop and divulge the secret details of her time alone with Tony where the notes came to life in his lap, “Last week when we were in his lab together, he wrote them. We were building a new suit together for me to wear on take your daughter to work day and I was talking to him about this boy at school I like named Billy. I didn’t want to tell Billy that I like him-like him because I don’t know if he likes me back. Billy’s got the coolest toys and he’s really smart.”
“I see,” Bucky replied observing the way that Morgan’s eyes lit up at the mention of her classmate.
“Plus, he’s really fun. We play together a lot at recess, and I wanted him to know that I like him. I just didn’t know what to say, so I asked my dad,” Morgan continued to recount her story to Bucky unaware of the impact it would make moving forward where Tony was concerned, “He told me what I should do.”
“What did he tell you to do?” Bucky questioned leaning back against the chair positioned behind where he was seated.
“He said that I should tell Billy I like him because it never hurts to let people know that you like them, which it makes sense. It was a good idea. My dad always has good ideas,” Morgan took to coloring once again, “The best ideas because my dad is the smartest person I know.”
“Me too Morgan,” Bucky agreed as the memory of Tony filled his mind taking him back to that holiday party when Bucky had taken a chance on pushing the envelope further with Tony. At the time it felt like a misstep, but with Morgan revealing Tony’s ‘secret’ it put things in a new light for Bucky.
“After we talked, I asked him who he liked-liked since he and mommy don’t like each other that way anymore. He said he liked-liked you James,” Morgan’s big brown eyes found their way to Bucky’s again, “but he didn’t know if you liked him back too.”
“Oh,” Bucky caught the question behind Morgan’s curious dark eyes as if she was awaiting confirmation on Bucky’s feelings for her father. When he didn’t speak up, she pressed the issue further.
“Do you?” she batted her long, dark eyelashes at him hoping to charm a straight answer out of him in their conversation.
“Do I what?” Bucky feigned innocence causing her to shake her head and laugh at him.
“Do you like-like my dad back like he likes you?” Morgan questioned observing Bucky’s response to her questioning with a vested interest behind their exchange, “My dad said that when boys like you sometimes they act all quiet and say silly things to get your attention. That sometimes they are so shy that they can’t really talk to you. They want you to tell them that you like them, but I don’t know. Billy talks to me, but I still don’t know if he likes-likes me. My dad told me that I shouldn’t worry about it. That I should write Billy a note and see if he likes me too, but I said that was silly.”
“It’s not silly Morgan,” Bucky replied thoughtfully, “If you like being around someone, it’s good to let them know that you think they are special.”
“That’s what my dad said, which is why I told him if I write Billy a note, then he had to write you a note and tell you that he likes you too,” Morgan sweetly smiled up at him.
“You told him to write me?” Bucky’s blue eyes widened when Morgan nodded eagerly.
“Uh huh,” she nodded with a triumphant smirk rubbing her palms together. She was clearly pleased with her decision to guide Tony’s feelings along in their mutual decision to pen letters to their crushes, “and he did. He even drew you that picture with the latest note because he knew it would look like you. It was my favorite one he drew. I just knew you would like it James because you like him too, don’t you?”
“I do,” Bucky couldn’t help, but admit with a smile as Morgan delivered the truth behind the messages he’d received, “a lot.”
“I thought so,” Morgan giggled bringing her hand up to her face. She laughed into her hand before pushing her hair hanging down in her ponytail away from her face, “which is why I took this too.”
“Took what?” Bucky asked watching her slide away from the table to stand up.
“The other note,” she pushed her fingers into the paint smock she was wearing and pulled out another note from Tony. This one was in an official looking envelope appearing a bit more formal than the others as it was sealed with a sticker, “He wanted you to find it yourself the next time you stopped by his lab, but I wanted to give it to you. I like seeing you smile when you read them.”
“Thank you, Morgan,” Bucky reached out to accept the envelope she’d picked up for him. It had his name written on it in Tony’s handwriting delivering a much different messages than the tiny colored papers that had been popping up over the last week.
“Thank you, James, for making my dad smile,” Morgan replied reaching for her crayon once again to continue her coloring masterpiece, “He does it a lot when he talks about you. He told me that he really likes you.”
“I really like him too Morgan,” Bucky replied knowing full well that with Morgan’s latest delivery all the rules were changing when it came to Bucky’s secret admirer.
Nervous anticipation licked over Tony’s body, causing his casual cool to taper into something decidedly less sophisticated. Standing outside on the rooftop listening to the sounds of the party taking place below, Tony couldn’t help, but question if he’d made a mistake—if somehow, he’d miscalculated and all the not-so-subtle flirting he’d been doing for the few weeks before the holidays hadn’t amounted to anything. At first, Tony believed his hints were getting him somewhere, but then after that incredible kiss at the holiday party, it seemed that he’d screwed up with Bucky. At the time he’d been beyond surprised by the kiss knowing that he’d been struggling to work up the courage to say something to Bucky about how he’d felt. It had been building for a while, but Tony hadn’t been able to act upon it fearing that coming on too strong would push Bucky away.
That had always been there at the back of Tony’s mind keeping him from crossing that line, but when Bucky had taken the initiative to kiss him, Tony had given himself entirely to it. It was beyond anything Tony had imagined, yet when he soaked in the sweetness of Bucky’s lips, the lingering taste of eggnog and the interruption guided Tony back to the reality that Bucky couldn’t possibly have meant it. Fearing that he’d taken advantage of a situation when Bucky was a little tipsy, Tony had backed off entirely, hoping like hell that Bucky didn’t hate him for crossing that line into something more between them.
“I’ll give him space,” Tony decided after Bucky hadn’t thought to bring up the kiss. Instead, they’d continued to avoid each other until Tony finally found the courage to take matters into his own hands with Morgan’s encouragement to write the silly love notes.
Now standing on the rooftop looking out onto the city and wondering if he’d made a mistake in extending the silly invitation, Tony felt like a kid again back in the days when awkward love letters with check boxes marked yes or no ruled the class in terms of communication. It was a lot simpler then, but now, well now it was a whole hell of a lot more complicated when he’d been pushing his limits in flirting with one of the last people to be taken in by subtlety. To get his message across, Tony felt like he was going to have to literally hit the man he’d coveted with a brick over the head to get him to react and even then…well, Tony wasn’t quite sure it would do the trick since Tony wasn’t certain that Bucky could reciprocate Tony’s interest in exploring the chemistry between them beyond that kiss.
Tony only thought about it a million times long before it happened. Even now looking back at the first time he’d caught Bucky in the communal kitchen area clad only in a towel, leaning over the sink and trying to dry out that long, silken, gorgeous hair that Tony had imagined running his fingers through time and time again, Tony knew he was hooked. Of course, at the time it would’ve been entirely inappropriate as Tony had been coming in from his lab to refill his coffee only to discover Steve’s best friend before his very eyes wet and barely clinging to the towel that hugged his every curve revealing just about everything Tony would need to fulfill a solo late-night fantasy after hours when he’d been tucked away in his bed. There was no denying how hot Sergeant Barnes was looking like a tasty treat that Santa had delivered for Tony to play with and rediscover the waning libido that had worked its way out of his life after a near death encounter had left him without purpose and reason.
Now, however, flushed at the memory and feeling suddenly foolish at the wishful thinking on his part that his stupid notes would make an impact Tony looked to the pair of champagne glasses on the table wondering if despite his quirky attempts at catching Bucky’s eye if he’d be bringing in the New Year alone. Granted, Tony could’ve stuck around with the others and enjoyed, but he’d taken a chance after he discovered that the final invitation was no longer in his office. Much with every other note, Tony assumed that Bucky had found it as he’d anticipated. It was all falling into place as Tony had thrown everything out on a whim when he’d had an assortment of silly, cryptic love letters to Bucky delivered over the last few days with the latest one set to be presented to Bucky a few hours prior to the party.
Granted it hadn’t been how Tony had planned on making his interest known, but for some reason it all started when Morgan’s curiosities about how to be honest with a boy she liked came onto the front burner of the conversation. It was in his talk with his daughter that Tony had realized that he too had a secret crush on Steve’s often quiet best friend. From the start when Bucky had stopped inside the lab to work through the upgrades on his arm, Tony was hooked—curious in ways he knew he shouldn’t be. However, during that day with Morgan, all Tony could think about was Bucky especially after the holiday party disaster plagued at the back of his mind. It was that day that with his daughter’s encouragement, Tony had decided that he was going to put it out on the line until Tony almost lost his nerve. Instead of being brave, he’d left the first note on the tabletop where Bucky had discovered it and opened the door to the new game between them. It was enough encouragement for Tony to keep writing them after all Tony’s courage was lost in the aftermath of the kiss he’d walked away from. Hoping to fix that Tony struggled to get the words out as the decision be honest with Bucky that he’d been the man behind the messages was still lingering in his mind, but he’d chickened out at the last second opting instead to let the last letter he left for Bucky earlier in the day to speak for itself.
That first day Tony left Bucky alone with Dum-E to deliver the secret message leading up to today’s most recent note signaling Tony’s intentions to ring in the New Year with the handsome former Winter Soldier. Now Tony stood on the rooftop hoping that the last thing Steve’s brooding best friend would do was deliver him a refusal after the energy that had been bouncing between them. Granted, Tony and Bucky hadn’t said much to one another since that ill-fated kiss, but Tony had felt a spark…or rather an explosion after the chemistry he’d tasted between them. Even now he could remember the heat exchanged between them when Bucky had leaned in closer in their conversation. He could recall the perfect pink tongue that revealed itself when Bucky’s inappropriate laughter at Tony’s even more inappropriate joke had guided them down a path to a wicked conversation filled with surprising twists and flirtations. At the time things felt like they were going good between them but now standing alone on the decorated tower patio rooftop armed with anxiety over an impending rejection, Tony swallowed down hard fearing he’d missed his opportunity to show Bucky how he truly felt. Looking at the time, Tony felt a breeze sweep over him. The darkened sky revealed the snow on the horizon threatening to deliver on the winter festivities they’d skipped with the warmer weather over the last year.
Closing his eyes Tony focused on the music knowing that it was nothing more than a soundtrack to accompany the racing in his heart serving as a reminder of the thoughts spinning through his mind. In his head he’d thought he’d been clever when he’d delivered the message, hoping to convey his interest with a scattered array of doodles on the page made by the impulsive decision to just lay it out on the line.
“It was a ridiculous thought,” Tony sighed as the countdown began, alerting him to the fact that a new year was beginning. With the cheery festive sounds below, his heart was beating wildly in his chest serving as a reminder that he should probably be downstairs with the others instead of wishing for something that would no doubt never happen. It was silly to think that Bucky could’ve felt it too.
“Ten….nine…”
“This was a stupid idea,” Tony mouthed to himself finally accepting defeat in the knowledge that he’d overstepped his boundaries. He glanced at the champagne table again, delivering it one last look before focusing on the night beyond the party.
“…eight…seven…”
“Just as well,” Tony remarked unable to mask the disappointment that carried over him. He walked over to the table picking up a lone glass of champagne knowing that things would’ve inevitably been complicated for them. Bucky was Steve’s best friend. Tony was Steve’s…coworker…friend…headache of the moment…he wasn’t really quite clear on the definition of their friendship, but Tony imagined crushing on Steve’s best friend wouldn’t bring them any closer to any kind of peaceful coexistence after years of butting heads over their various ideologies when it came to the team.
There were a million reasons why it was a bad idea, but Tony hadn’t been one to back away from bad ideas. Hell, some of the best decisions of his life had been sparked from an outrageous idea that went horribly right after it deviated from its original path he’d intended. There were countless occasions when a gamble paid off, but this time clearly wasn’t one where…
“…six…five…”
“Sorry I’m late,” Bucky’s exasperated voice spoke out above the night. The smooth, sultry sound caused Tony’s body to ignite with eagerness, his heart to skip a beat as his fingers curled around the stem of the glass that he was holding, “I had a bit of catching up to do.”
Fighting to contain himself, Tony suppressed the relieved smile that tugged at the corner of his lips as he raised the champagne glass to his lips and delivered a cheeky, “I hadn’t noticed.”
“Good because I didn’t want you to think that I’d forgotten about your offer considering that…” Bucky’s words were decidedly closer. The warmth of his body heat served as a contrast to the cool winter air all around them, delivering Tony from the promise of a sour mood to the hope for starting the new year off on the right step, “Morgan delivered it to me last minute, but I needed to figure out a few things first.”
“Oh…Morgan gave my invitation to you?” Tony’s eyes widened with surprise knowing full well he’d deliberately left it in the lab for Bucky to discover on his own.
“I guess she thought we needed a little help guiding this thing along between us,” Bucky divulged reaching into his jacket pocket and pulling out a handful of post-it notes he’d tucked within, “I know that this isn’t nearly as organized as you were, but here…”
“What is this?” Tony questioned observing Bucky holding out the pages before him.
“Something that I think you need to see,” Bucky stretched his fingers out across the space between them to deposit the notes in Tony’s hand, “So I can play catch up here.”
“Are they…?” Tony looked down to the multicolored pages before him handwritten in various colored crayons.
“Morgan oversaw the project and offered the supplies, but I hope I get the point across,” Bucky announced holding up the top page to display the note he’d written to Tony.
I REALLY LIKE YOU TOO!
“You do?” Tony fought to contain the warmth that spread over his face when Bucky held up another note to deliver his message one right after another.
YOU MAKE ME SMILE AND BLUSH EVERY TIME YOU WALK INTO A ROOM!
I LIKE THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL WHEN YOU LOOK AT ME!
I THINK YOU ARE CUTE TOO!!!
“That’s good to know,” Tony laughed when Bucky held up another message enclosed within a red crayon drawn heart.
“I can’t stop thinking about kissing you,” Bucky read aloud before flipping to another one that displayed a series of hearts and another eager series of message.
I’D LIKE TO DO IT AGAIN…
IF YOU WON’T RUN AWAY AND STOP TALKING TO ME…
I PROMISE I DIDN’T WRITE THIS LAST BIT IN FRONT OF MORGAN, BUT I OWE HER A CRAYON.
“I’m sure she’ll forgive you for taking it,” Tony’s grin expanded filling his chest with excitement and enthusiasm when Bucky held up the final note hoping that it would deliver the message loud and clear once and for all.
I REALLY LIKE YOU TONY AND I WOULD LOVE TO KISS YOU AGAIN IF YOU ARE WILLING TO GIVE IT ANOTHER TRY.
“I mean it’s up to you,” Tony fingered the rim of the glass struggling to contain the excitement that bristled over his eager skin. He struggled to come off as cool and casual, but there was nothing laid back about the way his heart was racing in his chest in anticipation, “Given that last time I kind of messed it up between us…”
“I’ll make sure neither one of us do it again,” Bucky reached down to pull the champagne glass from Tony’s fingers. He carefully positioned it on the tabletop as the sounds of everyone at the party below singing to bring in a new year etched the melody to their moment bringing them closer in a warm embrace.
The snow was falling from the sky blanketing the rooftop in a light dusting of white, but it was secondary to the way that Bucky’s fingers curled into Tony’s hip, drawing him closer into Bucky’s strong, powerful chest until they were a breath apart.
“James…” Tony’s voice cracked with urgency, his fingers curling into the lapel of the jacket that Bucky had pulled on for the party.
“Can I kiss you, Tony?” Bucky’s words swept beyond his tantalizing lips to the warmth of Tony’s mouth providing a welcoming contrast to the chill of the night around them. Wordlessly they eased in closer to one another, eager to pick up where they’d left off at the ill-fated holiday party.
“I’d like that very much,” Tony nodded catching the warmth of Bucky’s fingers against his cheek, soaking in the heat between them. Their eyes connected beneath the moonlight with their chemistry guiding them together like invisible fingers bound and determined to keep them from denying that spark they’d tasted at the party a couple weeks early.
“Last chance to back out on this,” Bucky teased as his bottom lip skimmed against Tony’s delivering a teasing taste of the promise of a kiss. His left arm held Tony closer, bringing them chest to chest when Tony’s words fell from his lips in a trembling breath.
“Not a chance,” Tony promised closing the distance between them in a slow, tantalizing kiss he was certain would change the course of the year moving forward for them in all the right ways now that they’d finally laid it out on the line in being honest with how they felt about each other. As the kiss evolved into something deeper far beyond the subtle promise of temptation to a full awakening of desire, Tony knew without a shadow of a doubt that he’d never keep his feelings for Bucky a secret ever again not with so much riding on the line between them.