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Parental Advisory

Summary:

"I didn't ask for this" -Eda, probably

Notes:

Idk man, just take what I have.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Today should have been a good day.

It was a rare moment that Eda had the house to herself. Luz was at home with her mother and Hunter had offered to take King with him and the twins, knowing how much the little demon missed the human when she was gone. Even Hooty- while always present- was on an adventure of his own. What that was the Titan only knew, but she wasn't about to complain.

Nope, nothing could ruin this for her.

As if on cue, urgent raps to her front door caught her attention. Eda frowned, knowing that not many people dared to approach the Owl Lady, even after Belos had been defeated. And Raine tended to walk in whenever they liked nowadays (yeah, she was at that point in her relationship). Grabbing Owlbert in the case of intruders, she opened her front door.

Since meeting Luz, not many things tended to surprise Eda anymore. When one decided to house a human- let alone one as strange as Luz- unexpected things happened. And of course along with Luz were her friends, who were just as- if not more- penchant for trouble.

But to her utter shock, standing outside her house were Odalia and Alador Blight.

Eda stared at the two for a long time. Odalia still had that air of self-importance she'd possessed when they were in school. Amity had been much of the same at first, until Luz had softened her up. The kid was good at bringing out the best in people; she had down so with Hunter and she had done so with Eda herself. Though, Odalia looked like she would rather be anywhere else.

Well, the feeling was mutual. She already had three Blights in and out of her house, she didn't need nor want anymore.

Alador, as usual, was a lot more open. He regarded her with careful curiosity and she could tell just by the way he stood that he wanted something from her.

By the Titan, she hadn't asked for this.

"Edalyn, dear," greeted Odalia condescendingly. She didn't miss the way that the other witch's sapphire eyes looked over her judgmentally. "You look... lovely."

Well, that was a load of crap. Eda had rolled out of bed not twenty minutes ago and hadn't even attempted to brush her hair. Yeah, they definitely wanted something from her.

Eda crossed her arms over her chest. "Not everyday that the Blights deign to visit a lowly witch such as myself," she noted, raising an eyebrow. "What do you want?"

Odalia's facade fell and contempt crossed her face. "This certainly wasn't my idea," she sniffed. "Alador was the one-"

"Our children spend a lot of time here," Alador interrupted her. Huh, that was new. "We would like to know why." Odalia glared at her husband, but crossed her arms and nodded begrudgingly.

If she was being honest, Eda had half a mind to slam the door in their faces.

Eda had never looked fondly on either of the witches in front of her. In school she had thought they were snobby teacher's pets who thought they were better than everyone else. But after meeting Amity, Edric, and Emira, her opinion of them had worsened.

She wouldn't sugarcoat it, the Blight kids had issues. Amity's constant need to prove herself and craving for perfection due to the fear of being discarded otherwise. Edric's crippling low self-esteem and lack of self-worth. Emira's sense of responsibility, responsibilities that shouldn't have been hers.

Alador and Odalia were pretty low on her list when it came to parenting. Though, no one quite came close to Belos. A good chunk of the sudden influx of money that had come in after the emperor's defeat had gone to therapy sessions in the human realm for Hunter. He was getting better- Camilia's recommended therapist was good at her job- but some things just wouldn't go away.

But being better than Belos wasn't quite an accomplishment now was it?

However, something stopped Eda from turning her unwanted guests away. Maybe it was the way Amity would longingly look at Luz and Hunter when she ruffled their hair. Maybe it was the way Emira would ask for help on skills she was already well-versed in. Maybe it was the way Edric was constantly looking to her for approval.

Sure, she could tell those kids all day that they didn't need their parents. That they always had a home at the Owl House. But as much as she told them that, it wouldn't stop them from wanting love from their parents. There was no fixing Belos- even if he wasn't dead- but maybe there was a chance for the Blights.

Just maybe.

'Ugh,' thought Eda as she stepped aside to let the couple in. 'The things I do for those kids.'

OoOoOo

"Alright you two," said the Owl Lady as they sat down across from her. She hadn't bothered to offer them tea. Maybe she was petty, but bad parents didn't deserve tea in her opinion. "Let me ask you a question. Why do you think Amity and the twins are always here?"

Odalia scoffed. "You must let them run amok," she answered. "It wouldn't surprise me, considering your notoriously wild ways."

Eda's eye twitched. "Magic is supposed to be wild you stuck up-" No. She took a deep breath. No, she had to hold in her temper. This was for the kids. "Alador, what do you think?"

Gold eyes blinked as the man thought. "Well," said Alador. "I suppose the children enjoy it here. It is a more... comfortable atmosphere than our house."

Well, it was a start. Eda crossed her arms. "How much time do you spend with the kids?" she asked. Odalia was about to open her mouth, but she cut the other woman off with a glare. "Outside of your business."

"Not much," admitted Alador. "I tend to get very busy when I'm down in the lab."

Odalia turned up her nose. "We're busy keeping a roof over their heads," she snapped impatiently.

Eda raised a hand. "Sister, don't even talk to me about keeping a roof over anyone's head," she replied. She had been struggling the entirety of her adult life, and that had only been more difficult when she had taken in King and later Luz. Times had really gotten hard when Luz destroyed the portal. But that had never stopped her from taking care of them.

And it had never stopped Camila either. Camila with her long hours and a husband long gone. That woman had gone through more than most people ever would. Neither of the Blights had an excuse.

"If you want your children around, spend time with them," stressed Eda. Titan, was that not obvious? Who had let these two reproduce? "No one wants to be in an empty house."

Odalia scoffed, but Alador seemed to be considering it. "Emira and Edric aren't interested in abominations," he pointed out. "Not like Amity."

Eda smacked her forehead. "Then do something they want to do," she retaliated. "You have three children, not one. Edric has so many good ideas, but neither of you think he's worth enough to listen. And on that note, pay attention to Emira."

Odalia grimaced. "I don't see why the twins need such coddling; they're older."

"They're still children," growled Eda. "They still need you. But neither one of you take the time to notice that. You treat Emira like an adult when she isn't. And words of encouragement towards Edric won't kill you, Blight."

Odalia grunted, but didn't argue. "Anything else?" she demanded.

"Yeah," said Eda, glaring. "Stop trying to dye Amity's hair, you maniac. What's wrong with you? Why do you have this weird obsession with your children looking like you?"

The other woman was surprisingly quiet at that and Eda almost felt bad. Maybe, in her own twisted way, that was how Odalia stayed close to her daughter. That didn't change the fact that it was creepy, though.

"And," Eda added. "Encourage the twins to take their gems off around you. Tell Amity you like her hair no matter what color it is. They shouldn't feel uncomfortable in their own house. They need to know that they can be themselves with you." 'They need to feel safe with you.'

Alador was actually jotting down notes. Bonus points for effort, she supposed. "Do you have any other advice?" he asked.

She blinked. "Take it from there," she instructed. "See how it goes. Come to me in a month and we'll see what needs to be improved."

There was no guarantee that either parent would do what she said. But if there was a chance that they would, Eda was willing to work with them. Those kids deserved good parents.

To her shock Odalia nodded. "Thank you Edalyn," she said as she stood up primly. "You have provided us with some... insightful information." She held out a hand.

Eda stared at it for a moment before shaking it. "Just put it to good use, Blight," she said sternly. "I won't turn any of them away if they decide to run away."

Odalia scowled, but there was no biting retort as she walked towards the door. Alador shook her hand next. "Thank you, Edalyn. Amity told me that it would take a while to repair our relationship. I do want things to get better."

"Put in the effort, Blight, and then we'll talk."

Just as the couple walked out the door, a "Mom? Dad?" reached her ears. It seemed as though Hunter had returned with the twins.

"What are you guys doing here?" asked Edric.

"We had business with the Owl Lady," said Alador from outside. "Son, why don't you, er, tell me about the projects you've been working on?"

"Emira, darling, why don't we spend the day together?"

Emira was skeptical. "Is this for another experiment?" What in the name of the Titan?

"No, no, of course not..." Whatever Odalia said trailed off as the family walked away from the Owl House. Hunter walked through the door, a bewildered look on his face. "What just happened?" he asked, a tinge of apprehension in his eyes.

Since going to therapy, Hunter had become protective of his friends. Especially when it came to their parents. He largely disliked Alador and Odalia. It had taken a while for him to warm up to Willow's fathers. One time, Camila had upset Luz over something minor and he had been just a little colder to her.

But Eda ruffled his hair. "Don't worry," she reassured him. "Your friends will be fine."

And for some reason, she truly believed that.

Notes:

Soooo I honestly don't know where this came from. I just... wanted Eda aggressively teaching the Blights how to parent. So I wrote it. Obviously, a fix wouldn't be this quick realistically, but eh. This is half crack anyway. Thanks for reading and please review!