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Shylock is in Sugar Daddy Denial 😔

Summary:

Mov kinky crackfic
this is scarring Im warning you

idk why you're choosing to read this but have fun🥰
if you came across this thanks to exams I hope you have a get well soon and manage to never enter this wormhole of disastrous crack ever again

Work Text:

Act 4 scene 1, basically

Setting: Some Courtroom in Venice

Characters:
D- Duke
A- Antonio
B- Bassanio
B - Boy Portia
N - Nerissa
G- Gratiano
S- Shylock

 

D- Antonio u der?

A- hi im here

D- rip bozo

A- I will be patient to his fury and suffer his tyranny with my quietness of spirit
🥺

 

D- Shylock he will literally die

S-ok and?

D- why are you doing this

S- why not

B- kys

S- actually I want to kill Antonio

B- just because you don’t love him :(

S- all because I hate him <3

A- nothing will stop shylock from carrying out his kinky desires.

B- Please Shylock I will be your sugar daddy

 

S- No stfu

D- I mean Bassanio has a good deal-

S- shut up slave owner

D- Where is the fucking judge

Stefano- He is sick he will not be arri-

D- Thank fucking god please get me out of here

B- I will take part in organ trafficking if that saves you Antonio

A- weird take but ok

S- *sharpens his knife*

B- why

S- I want that man meat fr

G- you sick fuck

S- I know.

G- inexecrable dog Pythagoras was right you wolf man goddammit how are you so weird

S- stop screaming

D- GUYS PLEASE GET A JUDGE IN HERE

N- *enters*

N- The judge is outside, you might wanna check out this letter-

D- Go get the guy in here you dumbasses

*snatches letter*

*reads*

Hi Duky it’s me Bellario. I’m sick asf and not in a skater boy way . Anyway I’m getting my bae to cover for me if that helps you guys. I told him about whatever shitty kink play that is gonna take place when I’m away. We ended up reading many law books together which was pretty steamy but I feel like you’re already stuck in your own gay smutty novel that’s inevitably happening. Hope he helps.
xoxo kisses hmu for dinner later.

 

D- Well that was a shitshow.

BP - *enters*
BP- I’m here

D- Omg hiiii

BP- ...

Everyone- …

BP- Moving on
BP - Kinda need an introduction here

D- Oh right Antonio Shylock come forth

BP- Yo Shylock dat u?

S- Hi I’m here

BP- weird fetishes my guy but ig I can’t really stop you

BP (to Antonio) - You’re the one who’s gonna die?

A- yea

BP- rip bozo
BP- Shylock pls spare him

S- Why tho

BP- because we are all chirren of Jesus

S- ok and?

BP- Is he not able to give you like any money?

B- I will take part in organ trafficking if that saves you Antonio

(A- not again)

BP- Well then

BP- Antonio ur kinda dead

S- omg Daniel sama roast him harder 😩

BP- shut up and hand me the bond

S- here it is baby boy 🥺

BP- Bro this guy’s willing to give you thrice the money you offered

Shylock – I’m more willing to give him pleasure with my knife 😏

BP- Oh god please stop speaking I’ll let you do whatever you want

S- ilysm bae I’ll deff pay you back after I’m done w my sugar baby

A- can the court please give their judgement I’m fucking done-

 

BP- prepare your bosom for his knife

(A- 😩 😩 😩 time to undress for my shdaddy)

 

S- oh my god im so turned on rn

BP- as sad as this is it’s kinda the law-

S- So true I agree

BP- So lay bare your bosom

S- Cmon Antonio show dem tiddies let my I promise I’ll steal your heart 😩😩

BP- is there a balance to weigh the flesh

S- yeah I have it right here

*audible booing*

BP- Do you have a surgeon

S- But why do we need one

BP- Because he’ll literally die

S- Well it’s not in the bond B)

BP- Antonio what are your thoughts?

A- Give me your hand Bassanio, I fell into this shit because of you, but I would do it again if I had the chance. I’ll help you get all the bitches you want as long as I get to stay in the bottom of your heart and on top of your body.

B- Omg bae, I might love my wife and my life, but I’d kill her and myself to save you and your sexy 14 inch

BP- I’m right here 💀

G- I’ll ditch Nerissa if we can have a threesome

N- what the fuck-

S- God what has my daughter gotten herself into

BP- You win the pound now kill him already

S- thanks bae

BP- Grab your scissors we’re in for a ride

S- I’ve come prepared to take a bite

BP- Lol jk you can’t rlly take out his blood cus you didn’t put it in the bond

S- What

BP- if you do we will kill you and take all your money

G- ur suddenly so hot

BP - So unless you get his flesh out while keeping his blood in you're kinda fucked

S- Is that really the law?

BP- Yeah fr

G- kiss me judge

BP- ok you can cut his flesh now

G- omg Daniel sama harder

BP- u still tryna foreplay shylock?

S- Ykw ill take the money

B- I have it w me right here

BP- You refused it in open court L

G- ilysm Daniel
Shit Shylock’s rubbing off of me

S- naw fuck this my money’s more important than a bunch of man tiddies

BP- You are so wrong.

S- I’m leaving

BP- Not before daddy duke punishes you for being a bad boy 😈 😈 😈

G- shylock kindly kys

D- I’m taking all your money

BP- Letsgo W

S- I’m unironically going to kill myself

BP- Antonio what are your thoughts

A- All hail Jesus Praise the Lord save his soul-

D- I'll save him for you Antonio <3

D- psst Balthazar will you join me for dinner afterwards

BP- kinda gay ngl

D- me tbh

 

 

I do not know what I have written
But I am going to post it anyway
Hope you enjoyed this is the end