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Missed Opportunities

Summary:

Not only was all of Skyhold seemingly cock blocking you, but you were also having a hard time voicing your feelings to your lover.

Notes:

(I wrote this in a way where your Inquisitor can be either human or elven depending on your preference.)

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Free time was a luxury that someone with the title “Inquisitor” couldn’t afford at Skyhold. And you just so happened to be that unfortunate person. At least, that’s how you saw it for a good amount of time after you survived the explosion at the Conclave. Now you viewed the anchor you were bestowed with a newfound light.

The main reason for your change of heart lay mere inches away. Commander of the Inquisition Cullen Rutherford was sleeping soundly on your sheets in all his bare-chested glory. The former templar’s body proudly displayed how well of a fighter he is. Seeing him in such a peaceful state made your heart thump uncomfortably in your chest.

Sitting up you let your gaze roam from your lover to the light spilling from the balcony doors. Metallic swords clashing, chatter, and birds chirping made the morning feel deceptively peaceful. When you note the brightness of the day, you sigh. The only time you had to breathe were the few sparse seconds after you woke and before you fell asleep.

You let the soft covers slip off your bare upper body as you try to stretch out the aches and pains that always seemed to linger. As much as you appreciated combat practice with the Iron Bull; he threw you around like a ragdoll. And unlike the Qunari’s many admirers, being roughed up was not your thing.

A soft moan leaves your lips when you roll your shoulder in tight circles. As you lean forward your hair frames your still relaxed features. Warm orange light caresses every dip and curve on your body. For just a moment you want to bask in the tranquility before you had to force yourself out of bed.

“Maker’s breath, you are a beautiful sight.” The voice left husky from sleep made warmth immediately flood through you. You turn your body so you’re resting your knees next to Cullen’s hips. Gold-tinted brown eyes take in every inch of you. A deep red blush creeps up Cullen’s neck at your undressed state.

He quickly looks up so he can lock onto your gaze. Forever the gentleman. “I could say the same about you, Commander.” Like a panther on the prowl, you crawl the small distance until you can trace your finger across the defined muscles on his chest. Cullen sucks in a sharp breath at the contact. Lust starts to crackle in the air.

You hadn’t been truly intimate with Cullen for what felt like ages. That’s what life was like though as an Inquisitor and Commander respectively. Never was there a moment to yourself, to indulge in the greed of fulfilling your desires.

That’s why you suggested that you both slept in the nude. If you didn’t get to at least feel Cullen’s warm skin you might go insane. Thankfully he was more than willing to accept that request. (Even though no matter how many times he saw you he still blushed like a young boy.) His conservative nature, although troublesome at times, was enduring.

Leaning down you ghost your lips over the delicious Adam’s apple that bobbed at each thick swallow of Cullen’s throat. To your delight, he turns his head to give you better access. Before you could get a taste of his pale skin he bolts up. At least Cullen had the courtesy to bring you up with him instead of slamming his body into you.

The position of the sun seemed to of caught Cullen’s attention. “Please forgive me, my love. I can’t afford to miss this training. As well-meaning as they are; some of these soldiers can’t tell the difference between the sky and the ground.”

You let out a breathy chuckle. At this point, anyone with a passion for the cause was what mattered the most. With the skillful grace of a seasoned swordsman on the battlefield, Cullen slides off the bed and gathers the spare clothes he left in your wardrobe to dress.

It felt domestic, with a hint of normalcy amidst the danger and uncertainty. Sometimes you felt guilty to let your mind get distracted from your duties to daydream about such things. A memory that makes you cringe and laugh comes back to the forefront of your mind.

After downing a tanker of ale that left your brain fuzzy and lips loose, you confessed your inner turmoil to Varric. With your options of drinking partners though, the only concern you had about Varric was that you’d give him too much information that might manifest into a book that would haunt you for years.

“There’s nothing wrong with play mixed in with work Inquisitor. Maker knows Curly could also use some loosing up.” Groaning you rested your head on the stained wood of the table still clenching your almost empty cup. “Even still. What if people knew their ‘Herald of Andraste’ was a pinning, lovesick fool.”

You were normally a rowdy drunk; laughing boisterously and throwing things around. However, tonight your thoughts were enraptured by that damn beautiful lion-haired man.

The chuckle that came from the dwarf soothed your self-pity. “That only adds to your story. Who can’t resist a bit of drama? I can imagine the summary of your tale now.” Varric dramatically clears his throat before moving his hands like he is reading from the air, “Love in the Battlefield, fighting demons from the sky and the bedroom.”

Lifting your head, you drunkenly giggle at the way Varric wiggles his brows. “Hush! Imagine the rumors you’ll cause Varric! If Mother Giselle heard, she’ll think desire demons are influencing me.” Despite your scolding words, you’re smiling the whole way through.

The dwarf merely waves a hand at you. “You love birds will be just fine. Trust me. Do you know how many times I’ve written about angst and romance?”

You didn’t actually. Unfortunately, you haven’t found the time to read “Tale of The Champion” or any of his other… interestingly written works. One steely-faced Seeker did, however. That made an insidious thought cross through your mind.

Straightening up you yell across the Tavern, “CASSANDRA! TELL ME ABOUT THE SMUTTY BOOKS!” Varric falls over the table in a fit of laughter as said woman stomps over. If looks could kill. You would have been terrified if you didn’t notice the blush spattered on her face in the dim light. Oh yeah, she would make you pay for this later.

Even though Cassandra was covered in a raging blush the whole conversation she and Varric gave you the insight you didn’t have before. The story about Hawke and their relationship with an elven mercenary named Fenris intrigued you the most. Although at the moment you were dissolved to only teasing jests at Cassandra’s embarrassment.

Your night of self-searching drinking happened not too long ago, so you still found yourself keeping an eye out for the Nevarran-accented woman to get her revenge. And boy did she know how to hold a grudge.

Through the ragging headache, Varric’s words sunk in the next morning. Being able to see the next day was not guaranteed in war. You shouldn’t let yourself hold back on enjoying every single moment you could afford with Cullen. What scared you the most was that it made you realize you were in love with your Commander.

These emotions had yet to be shared of course. It was odd how you fought terrifying creatures, but were a coward when it came to those three little words. Cullen was so stressed you feared the sentiment might short-circuit his brain.

You had to sink your teeth into your lip to keep from begging Cullen to come back to bed. Alas, the giant hole in the sky wasn’t going to close itself. Letting yourself rest against the headboard you watch Cullen get dressed. And it was the show of a lifetime. You couldn’t help but steal a look at his gloriously sculpted ass.

If only he knew how alluring he was. Everyone else seemed to. When Josephine told you about all the women (and men) vying for his attention during the ball at the Winter Palace, you couldn’t say you were surprised. Thankfully the only woman to win a dance with the Commander was yourself. The memory still gave you butterflies.

Before Cullen rushes out of the room, he gives you an all too brief kiss on your forehead. If you didn’t know better you would think he was being chaste on purpose. He wasn’t used to the experiences of love and romance. Being a Templar at a young age and the circumstances that came after didn’t give him the opportunity for such things.

After breaking down the endlessly tall walls he kept around his heart Cullen divulged his past and intertwined fears with you. The vulnerability he felt when for the second time he fell for a mage was almost too much for him. Especially since the first time ended up bringing him pain you couldn’t even imagine. Thinking about his experience with blood magic made you shiver.

Despite his fears that you would find his confessions pitiful, it all only made you love him more. Never had you met a man so kind and determined through all the horrors he faced.

During your mussing, you pulled on your clothing. It was still early so you found yourself reading an old book about ancient elven gods that Dorian lent you. Of course, it was followed with the comment, “You may be almost as pretty as me dear Inquisitor, but good looks can only get you so far.” For Dorian that was a high compliment despite the suggestion that you were uncultured swine.

Almost on cue, your stomach rumbles when the sun reaches above the tree line. Pausing your reading you make the journey to the tavern for breakfast.

-

Due to it being the tail end of breakfast the tavern isn’t bustling as much as usual. After gathering the nutritious yet not visually appealing gruel you look around for a place to sit. You smile at the sight of Cullen eating near the back with a handful of his soldiers. Having the opportunity to share a meal with your lover made you feel like a giddy little girl.

When you move to head toward Cullen’s table a blur of pale skin jumps Infront of you. “Hey! Seems as though the Lady Herald has finally graced me with her presence.” The title that most say with respect is now said drawn out with a twinge of sarcasm. That’s what you loved about Sera though, she didn’t blow smoke up your ass.

You try your best to hide your disappointment at the appearance of the young elf. “Nice to see you too Sera.” You narrow your eyes when you meet hers. “You’ve got that little mischievous sparkle. What trouble have you gotten yourself into?” She crosses her arms deceptively casual.

“Oh, you know. Jumpin’ around here, climbin’ around there. Pokin the arse of know-it-all soldiers.”

“Sera…”

“What? He kept mouthin’ off the top the safety of that high wall. When he walked away, I climbed up, as one does, to catch him off guard. Imagine my surprise when that metal head pops out of nowhere like a little sneak.”

The irony of Sera being the one who was doing the sneaking was funny enough for you to let it slide. “Got him good though.” Sera starts to laugh in that oddly charming way that is a mixture of a snort. “Nearly shite his pants. Gave me enough time to slide down the wall after snaggin’ his fancy little knife.”

She pulls the weapon in question out of her pocket. “How’s that for what the idiot called a ‘dirty elf’? Pfft. A knife ear stole his knife. Serves him right.” As a leader, you shouldn’t feel pride over Sera’s behavior, but you do. Besides, it was a nice knife.

The poor treatment of elven people made your skin crawl. Especially when your father was a slave owned by a Tevinter noble. The look on Dorian’s face when you told him about your childhood was priceless. It wasn’t easy to make the mage squirm, but that did the trick. Being orphaned as a young child only to be taken in by an elven family always seemed to stun people.

Stealing a glance at the table your lover occupied you nod with a smile, “Indeed Sera. Although I wouldn’t expect anything less from the Red Jenny.” When you go to step away, she moves in your path again. Of course, she wouldn’t let you go that easy.

“Listen for a moment, yeah? That idiot wouldn’t have gotten the jump on me if my lady friend wasn’t too busy snoggin’ Cullen-wullen. You use to be my partner in crime! We had some good-hearted fun. Won’t hurt you to let loose with your good ol’ pal Sera again.”

How could you refuse when she gave you that little smile? Sometimes the elf could be infuriating to talk to, but she did know how to make you laugh. “No need for the guilt trip Sera, I give in. Say the word and I’ll be at your full disposal.” You said that with the intention that it would be later rather than sooner.

Before you can excuse yourself, Sera pulls your arm and hauls you towards a table to immediately let you in on her plan for a new devious prank. This was fine. Your time had to be carefully rationed out and if this made Sera less crabby it was good for the Inquisition as a whole.

However, you were still left hot and bothered by your short morning with Cullen. That mixed with your unprofessed love made you feel jittery. You sigh inwardly. There was still the whole day ahead of you to talk to Cullen. One of the many perks of dating your Commander.

-

You watch Cullen with a heated gaze as he commands the room. His office was dimly lit with amber light. Each flick of the flame managed to only brighten those golden locks.

Seeing him in his element always seemed to get under your skin. What didn’t help at the least was being near that damned table. You would need extra fingers to count the number of times you were either on your back or your stomach against the surface.

Out of instinct, you catch your lip between your teeth. This seems to distract the Commander as a slight stutter appears in his speech. Your body braces harder against the stone wall as you clench your thighs together.

Thankfully the information being shared was something you were already briefed on because nothing besides primal need was registering in your brain. Cullen’s stern voice and authoritative aurora created explicit fantasies that you wondered could come true if you asked nice enough.

The tortuous meeting comes to an end, but some linger before being dismissed. A part of you thought Cullen was unaffected by the lack of intimacy, but Maker were you wrong. You notice how instead of standing straight, he keeps his hips low to the table. There could only be one reason for that.

Seizing the opportunity, you walk towards Cullen when the last recruit he was talking to leaves. When you approach the table, you decide to lean against the side across from him instead of going to his side. After a few seconds of basking in each other’s presence, Cullen speaks up, “Please tell me today has been just as unbearable for you.”

You bring a finger to your lips in mock contemplation. “Well, my intelligence was insulted by Dorian, I was accosted by Sera, Cassandra nearly clubbed me with one of Varric’s books, and my mind is raging like a horny teen… so I would say my day is going the same as usual.”

Cullen’s eyes are locked on your lips as he lets out a breath. “Andraste forgive me, but I would do anything to replace your finger.” His boldness shocked and aroused you. Maybe this unintentional abstinence was getting to him as well.

Tracing small swirls across the flesh of your lips you flutter your lashes and push for more. “With what Commander? With your finger? Perhaps your lips? Or maybe something much larger?” Cullen’s grip on the table noticeably tightens as he fights for control.

There was a time he swore off the prospect that anyone would want to be with him, let alone bring him to his knees. Yet here you are.

In your current position, you got a perfect view of the noticeable bulge straining against his trousers. “If I keep affecting you like this you might need a coat with better coverage.” That rewards you with a growl.

Cullen swiftly rounds the table. Leather-clad hands cup your face in a passionate yet soft grip. “You are driving me absolutely mad.” His beautiful eyes bore into your own, searching for an answer to a question he didn’t have to ask but needed to hear.

Resting your forehead on Cullen’s, you inhale the intoxicating scent of elderflower and oakmoss that was uniquely him. Your hands wrap around his wrist; silently begging him to not let you go. Being this close, this intimate made you feel lightheaded.

Those three little words lay idly on your tongue. Now felt like the perfect time to say it. Shifting your gaze to meet his intense stare you part your lips.

The large wooden door in your peripheral creaks open. “Commander Cullen, I just got word from the Orlesian court that… Oh!” Josephine stands a few feet away from the open doorway with wide eyes.

The moment was effectively ruined.

“Please forgive me for not knocking first. I just… I wasn’t… I didn’t think…” The poor woman seemed to be malfunctioning. You reluctantly step away from Cullen to give Josephine a polite smile. “No need to apologize. You weren’t interrupting anything.”

The not interrupting anything part was a bald-faced lie. If she came in even a minute later, she would have walked in on something that would have truly given her a heart attack. Worse enough your courage to tell Cullen you loved him flew out the window.

To save yourself from the awkward situation you bid them both farewell as you had your own business to attend to. When you spare one last glance at Cullen a light blush tinged his features as well as a darkness in his eyes that spoke of more than just lust.

-

Sweat slides down every inch of your skin. Grunts and groans spill from your lips at each impact. You usually preferred this type of exertion on more tantalizing activities, but luck was not on your side today.

Pivoting backward you narrowly miss a swing aimed for your side. Why were you letting yourself get worked up over this? If anything, Cullen should be the one to say it first. “No, he shouldn’t.” You mentally concede.

Even if he did want to, he probably didn’t know how to. This was his first tangible relationship and the taunts of his tortuous past made emotions not come easy.

Just as you try to kick out at your opponent, they sweep your legs. With a pained groan, you are thrown to the ground for what felt like the hundredth time. Krem snickers from the sidelines. “Do you need to manhandle her so much boss?”

The Iron Bull gives a hardy laugh, “It seems as though she isn’t getting release anywhere else. I’m doing the Inquisitor a favor.” A large hand extends out to help you up and you accept it while rolling your eyes. “Haha. Very funny.” Your tone was less than amused.

Almost getting what you need only for it to be pulled away multiple times in one day was starting to grate on your nerves. You brush off the dirt on your clothes and shake out your limbs. At the sound of rowdy soldiers, you turn your head. Cullen was instructing a group of recruits nearby. The way he was both dominating and gentle drove you mad.

“Distracted?” The deep voice makes you jump with how close to your ear it is. Crossing your arms, you step back enough to properly stare up at the large Qunari. “Don’t play coy Ben-Hassrath. Also, you know it’s poor sportsmanship to spar with someone whom you know has a disadvantage.”

Once again, the Iron Bull laughs at you. “All is fair in love and war Inquisitor. Your enemies will never be so considerate.” Sighing you brace your body and position your fists. “Touché. Less chit-chat then. I would be less distracted if you didn’t fight so soft.”

You were goading Bull to change the subject away from your love life. Cracking his knuckles, he gives you a look full of amusement and fire. “Be careful what you wish for.”

After many failed attempts at besting your opponent, you regretted your choice of words. Krem had to use his entire body weight to properly stand you upright.

The Iron Bull pats you on the shoulder a little too hard. “Your job leaves you with a lot of responsibility which brings stress that one person can’t carry on their own. If you need something from Cullen you need to ask for it.”

As much as you wanted to feel bitter, he was right. How could you quell your turmoil if you let it fester? You fight demons and abominations for Maker’s sake. There was nothing to fear. It seems that getting the shit beat of you was the only way to realize that.

“I would kiss you right now if it didn’t make the rumor mill explode, you insufferable bastard.” A cocky smile graces Bull’s hard features. “Your welcome boss.” Krem slowly lets go of you and thankfully you don’t fall back down in a heap. Hissing you hold up your back with your hand as you hobble away. Maker did you need a bath, and maybe a new sparring partner too.

A visit to the healing tent was also much needed. With the number of bruises forming on your body people will start whispering that you were into some seriously kinky stuff. Speculation on your social and bedroom activities didn’t just stop with the Orlesians.

-

“You seem… bothered.”

“I apologize. I’ve been feeling slightly unwell today. Must be from a lack of sleep.”

Your pitiful excuse seems to be convincing enough. It would make sense for the Inquisitor to not get much rest, especially during the heart of war. Although what was truly plaguing your mind was how you were going to confront Cullen about your feelings.

The war room was filled with its usual suspects as Leliana discusses the details of a mission you were going to be sent on. Despite being told you got to wear a disguise; the meeting was largely uneventful. What irked you the most was that it seemed as though Cullen was purposely avoiding your gaze.

When everything is addressed, you nod your head at your companions. You just wanted to go to your room and wallow in bed. “Now, if you’ll excuse me.” As you turn to leave a soft voice catches your attention.

“She’s conflicted. Will he or will he not? Someone who was supposed to love her left her before, what if he does too? She frets that being the kind he used to despise will be their undoing.” Your head snaps over to the human-like spirit standing in the shadows.

Shock makes you dumbly stare at Cole in silence. “Not a hint of malice fills him in your presence though. Safe and solid, protecting and proud. If only you could see what he sees. A beauty beyond comparison wrapped in a warm light.”

“Cole, you don’t-“

“Her mind is wondering. Skin hot. She has a need but hasn’t had it met. A dull ache followed by the clenching of muscle strums in an area I can’t quite place.” He did not just say that for the entire room to hear. The retelling of your fear you could take, but this, this was too much for you to handle.

“Cole!” Green sparks jolt from your hand. Your left palm would sometimes spontaneously crackle under the sheer strength of your new power. Which happened when you let yourself indulge a little too much in your emotions.

After all the events today, your emotions were on the brink of making you explode.

To your relief, the spirit stops. However, his observation had gone far enough to give away your current state. As much as you liked Cole, you were furious. You notice a blush also start to creep its way up Cullen’s neck. Trapping yourself in the Fade for the rest of eternity didn’t seem like such a bad idea anymore.

Did everyone and their blasted mothers have to involve themselves in your personal affairs? Once you were forced with the title of “Herald of Andraste” your privacy was stripped away.

Cole has the courtesy to look guilty. “Your pain is loud. I just wanted to help.” You inhale a deep breath before weakly smiling at the young-looking spirit. “I know.” Although you knew his intentions were good-natured, it didn’t make the embarrassment ease any less.

Not daring to look at your companions you make a hasty exit. You just prayed all this mayhem didn’t make Cullen grow tired of you. The possibility makes your heart grow heavy.

-

Skyhold was beautiful at sunset. Nothing in your life wasn’t complicated, yet you still found yourself fighting against that notion. What would have happened if you weren’t at the Conclave? One specific person made you want to not even consider that.

You lean against the opening of the balcony in only a thin night dress. The soft glow of the sun coming to rest caresses your skin. This was the first time you had gotten to steal a moment for yourself all day. Not only did everyone require your time, but each moment you were left alone your thoughts were only full of Cullen.

“Every day I wonder how I was blessed with such a gorgeous woman.” Knowing exactly who the owner of the voice was, you keep staring at the orange-tinged sky. “If you were truly blessed you wouldn’t have gotten stuck with a mage.”

The way Cullen practically worshipped you always made you feel unworthy. His words always had a way of pulling him closer and closer into your heart. The light insecurity was ironic because Cullen felt the same way.

Hands meet your hips to spin you around. Hazel eyes bore into your own. It was like he was trying to reach into your soul, speak into the depths of your heart. “I know what Cole said, but… you don’t truly believe that do you, my love? Not after all this time.”

You bring a hand up to comb through his blonde locks. A wave of insecurity hits you so hard you need to pause to take a breath. You knew what Cole said too. The second comments he made were clearly Cullen’s feelings. How he described the way Cullen felt made you feel silly about any lingering doubts.

Still, you can’t help but joke away your insecurity. “Ironic, isn’t it? A former templar and a mage being together. If we were anywhere else you would be watching me for a very different purpose.”

The grip on your hips tightens, bunching the fabric. “No matter where we were you would have captivated me. I don’t even want to consider for one second that there is a world where I don’t get to have you in my arms.” For someone who never let anyone in his life before you, Cullen put words together in a way that made you swoon.

You rest your other hand under his jaw and soothe the stubbled flesh with your thumb. “I only tease. You would think I was the Maker himself by the way you talk to me. If only I could get the same amount of attention.” Cullen leans into your touch. “I’m sorry about today. I know it was… frustrating.”

A breathy laugh escapes your lips, “Frustrating would be an understatement. Between Dorian, Sera, the Iron Bull, and Cole I could have been thrown in a dungeon over sheer madness.” Gold-flecked eyes implore you to focus. “You still haven’t answered my question.” There were truly too many interlaced with the one simple question to even know where to start.

Pulling away you walk into your room. Quick feet follow close behind you. “I don’t believe it, Cullen. It’s just…” You lean your body against your bedpost so you can look at Cullen without collapsing on your shaky legs. All day you planned what you were going to say, but the stress of the moment made you draw a blank.

Cullen’s pale skin seems to turn even whiter, “Do you no longer wish to continue our relationship?” It was your turn to be stunned. “No! Absolutely not! Maker, I’m bad at this.” Did everyone else have a hard time with this kind of thing? Based on the way he is fidgeting you are not helping Cullen’s nerves. “If it’s about us not having time to-“

“I love you, Cullen! Okay? I was getting in my head because all I think and breathe is you! Guilt has been eating at me because sometimes the only motivation that gets me through battle is not thinking about our people, but coming home to you.” It feels as though an invisible weight has been lifted off your chest. Although you were hoping for this moment to be more romantic, you had to get the words out.

Sheepishly, you shift your head down to stare at the floor. You couldn’t bring yourself to watch his reaction. Your voice is just above a whisper as you continue, “I feared that telling you these emotions would scare you away. I understand if it’s too much-“ A heavy weight presses against your lap, cutting you off.  

Large hands are splayed across your bare thighs as Cullen looks up at you. It takes you a minute to process the sight. Cullen Rutherford aka the fierce Commander of the Inquisition was on his knees in front of you. The concept makes a rush of heat tickle your skin.

Your name comes out of Cullen’s mouth in an almost pleading tone. “What have I done to deserve you? If I didn’t know better, I would think I conjured you from my deepest fantasies. I love you too; more than you’ll ever understand.” That breaks the dam holding back your tears.

Before you can cover your face with your hands they’re enveloped by Cullen’s. He quickly stands so his body is against you; the warmth calming your shaking form. “Please don’t cry. Nothing in this world deserves your tears, not even me.”

An exasperated laugh leaves you, calming your intense emotions. “Keep saying those lovely words and I won’t be able to stop.” Cullen trails kisses from your forehead to your ear. “Let me take care of you, my love.”

You gasp when Cullen swoops you into his muscular arms bridal style. He chuckles before giving you a reassuring squeeze. You gently sat on the edge of the bed. Clearing your hazy mind, you place your arms behind you so you can stare up at Cullen. If you knew this was the outcome of a love confession you would have said something sooner.

He had a fire in his eyes that betrayed how disheveled he looked. The primal need that nagged you the entire day comes back in full force. “After everything that’s been keeping us apart today, I will personally tear your clothes off if you don’t hurry.”

Without hesitation, Cullen works on the many layers of cloth and armor encircling his chiseled body. It doesn’t take long for him to be left in only his briefs. You admire him like an expensive piece of art. Every scar and fine line were engrained in your mind.

You lean back further to give Cullen a better view. To your delight, the straps of your night dress slide off your shoulders. The action reveals your breasts to the flustered man. “Maker’s breath, you are divine.” In one swift movement, he cages your hips in between his arms.

Cullen seals his lips over yours in a long-awaited kiss. It felt different than any other you shared in the past. The movements of your lips are more intense. There was passion before, but the love behind this kiss made it scorching hot.

You moan, allowing him to slip his tongue into your mouth. Cullen tasted of something addictively sweet. His hands wander over to your thighs before he pulls away. “Cullen…” You practically beg his name.

“I said, let me take care of you.” As if to prove his devotion, Cullen sinks back down to his knees. When he trails up the hem of your nightgown you can’t help but blush. Underneath the silken material, your sex was covered by a pair of white laced panties. You send a silent thank you to Vivienne for gifting you them, even if it embarrassed you at the time.

Cullen’s scruff scratches you deviously as he kisses up your thigh. He whispers sweet compliments across your skin between each movement. When he reaches where you want him the most you moan in anticipation. Cullen kisses your clothed mound before hooking his fingers under the fabric to pull down your panties. It’s been so long since you’ve been intimate with Cullen that these simple touches were working you up to a dizzying degree.

Hot breath fans across your wet core. “Absolutely breathtaking.” Cullen wastes no time as he licks up your pussy before latching onto your clit. Your hands desperately grip the sheets on the bed. As much as you want to throw your head back, you are hypnotized by the man in-between your legs.

Each swirl and stroke of his tongue makes you gasp for breath. Just when you think the pleasure couldn’t bring you more rapture a thick finger slides into your quivering entrance. It has been so long that the intrusion brings about a delicious stretch.

Cullen groans against you, “Maker, you are so tight, so needy for me.” Although it is not a question, you feel compelled to respond. “Yes, Cullen! Always for you; only for you.” You watch in awe as Cullen’s eyes turn a shade darker. Like a starved man, he licks and sucks you with a new ferocity. A second finger joins the first and they curl inside of you in a way that makes you forget your name.

Sensations blend until all you feel is pure bliss. Dark hazel eyes meet your own, compelling you to not look away. At that moment you understood the sentiment of “safe and solid, protecting and proud”. Every fiber of your being trusted Cullen to a level you didn’t know was possible.

Right now, any threat and looming danger vanished. The only thing that mattered was being in this room with the man you loved.

“I’m so close! I can’t-“ Your hands relinquish their grip on the sheets only to thread through golden strands of hair. The overwhelming sensation of reaching your peak makes you want to push him away, but your hands pull him closer.

Cullen’s pace only quickens. “Don’t hold back. Please let me feel you come.” He pleads as though the act of you coming undone was more pleasurable for him. After a few more deep thrusts of his fingers, you cry out his name in rapture. Each wave of release is stronger than the last. You try to slam your thighs shut, but two large hands keep you at Cullen’s mercy.

His tongue continues to assault your sensitive nerves until overstimulation makes you quiver and beg. With one final kiss to your core, he towers over you. Once Cullen is level with you again, the large bulge in his briefs is hard to miss. However, when you go to palm his hard length, he snatches your wrist. Bringing it to his lips, he kisses the inside of it.

“Let me touch you, Cullen. You’ve done more than necessary to deserve it.” Cullen lets you go to rid himself of the fabric around his waist. “You blessing me with your heart and body is more than enough, my love.” How could one man be so wonderfully passionate and caring? A selfish part of you reveled in the fact that you were the only one to ever see this side of him.

Out of instinct, you swallow when his cock springs free from its confines. Cullen was the farthest from a selfish lover. Not only was he generous in his attentiveness, but he was generously endowed. The perfect length to reach places that make your toes curl and thick enough to make you impossibly full.

A sweet, almost tentative smile is sent your way. Cullen leans down to nuzzle your cheek, “If you’ll let me, I want to make love to you until the sun rises.” He was truly going to be the death of you. All you can manage is a nod, but that’s all the motivation he needed.

Cullen grabs your hips and lightly tosses you up the bed. His body covers yours like a warm blanket you wanted to curl into for hours. One hand settles on your side while the other grips his thick shaft. Cullen rubs himself on your soaked slit. Each time the tip of his cock hits your swollen clit you moan.

You loosely wrap your legs around his hips, your heels digging into his firm ass. “It’s not nice to tease.” You expected Cullen to make a witty comment and continue to rub against you. What you didn’t expect was for him to sheath himself inside you with one slow thrust. Your arms stretch out to brush against his hips.

Cullen lets out an almost strangled groan, “Your wish is my command, Herald.” The use of your titles in bed makes you giggle. Your laughing quickly turns into a moan when he pulls out only to slam back in.

At first, Cullen goes slow. Drawing out deep thrusts that make you cling to him. With you mewling his name, it doesn’t take long for his carefully crafted composure to slip away. Cullen fucks into you with reckless abandon. Every time your walls constrict around him, he curses under his breath. Something you rarely get to hear from the Commander.

Everything about Cullen felt so right. Now you truly didn’t understand what you were so scared about.

It’s a challenge, but you manage to find your voice, “I-I love y-you so much.” Cullen pulls your bodies flush together. At the same time, he joins your mouths together. Neither of you cared that your teeth clashed against each other at each hard thrust. Each moan, each breath, and each gasp were shared and exchanged. Your bodies melded together in a way that made you one.

“I love you too. I will never take for granted that you are mine.” Cullen’s voice turns into more of a growl when he gets to the last part. He was not only protective but possessive when it came to you. His actions only serve to prove his point every day. 

The bed starts to knock against the wall at the speed of Cullen’s thrust. Your foreheads rest together as you both give into the pure euphoria of it all. The thrusts of his hips were so deep his groin rubbed against your sensitive bud in a way that drove you wild.

Holding his face, you let Cullen watch your face as you find release for a second time. You feel his thrusts falter as your pussy ripples around him. “Isalan ma gara suin em.” The request comes out through high-pitched moans.

You didn’t use the tongue of the ancestors often, but it always seemed to affect Cullen. It was important to your parents that you were fluent in elven. The way the words rolled out of your mouth in soft breaths, enchanted Cullen. As if he knew what you said, he tightens his hold on you. After three more deep, harsh thrusts Cullen spills inside of you with loud grunts.

Coming down from your highs, you bask in the quiet afterglow of sex. That word didn’t even do what just happened justice. It was more like earth-shattering, mind-blowing, lovemaking.

Bracing you in his arm Cullen rolls your bodies. With a huff, you are splayed across his heaving chest. You both were sweaty and hot, but neither of you wanted to break contact. Rough fingers comb through your damp hair. “Remind me to thank Cole tomorrow.”

Shifting your head, you stare up at Cullen. “For what?” The fingers in your hair are still. “For making me realize how blind I was to your concerns.” You absentmindedly trace circles along the arm around your waist. “Don’t be ridiculous. How were you supposed to know if I didn’t tell you? We were both too lost in our heads and own daily stresses.”

Your reassurances earn you a kiss on the forehead. “I can’t give you much. I don’t have riches or a title outside of the Inquisition, but just know that you’ll always have my love and loyalty.”

You can’t help but giggle, “Only you could manage to be unsure after what we just shared.” Cullen was the type of person to never accept a good thing for what it was. You didn’t blame him though. He’s been through so much, that it was hard for me to accept that you weren’t too good to be true.

Cullen gives you a sheepish look, “I will admit this isn’t in my expertise.” Resting your hands on his chest you quirk a brow. “Is that so?” You make a show of rolling your hips, “I beg to differ.” He lets out a shaky breath at the friction. At his reaction, you continue to grind against him.

You moan when you feel his length harden inside of you again. Cullen grabs your hips before thrusting upwards. Burying your face in his neck you let him have his way with you. No one would have ever guessed that the Commander of the Inquisition had such an insatiable appetite. Not that you were complaining.

True to his word, between small naps Cullen made love to you until the sun graced the sky once more. Soreness was commonplace for you, but what you felt the next day made your heart swell. The both of you seemed to glow with renewed energy even though the night was not full of rest.

Bonus:

Humming a light tune you sit across Varric at your usual table in the tavern. The dwarf looks up from his gruel with raised brows. “Someone looks well rested.” You give Varric a mischievous smile, “You could say that.” This makes his brows shoot up with a knowing look.

“Please share Lucky!” You swing your legs on the bench with enough happiness to make Sera gag if she saw it. Shrugging your shoulders, you take a bite of your breakfast. Not even the twinge of bitterness breaks your cheerful mood. “Let’s just hope the nickname Lucky keeps up its charm.”

Varric takes out his notebook, flipping it to a page littered with words. You’re more than curious when he scribbles out a good portion of the text. “What are you doing?” He doesn’t bother to look up as he continues to write, “Revising my newest story in production.”

Realization dawns on you without needing further elaboration. “What did I do to change the storyline of ‘Love in the Battlefield’?” Despite how drunk you were, that night at the tavern with the dwarf was memorable in a multitude of ways. When Varric is about to answer something behind you cuts him off. The look on his face makes you turn around.

“Ah, Inquisitor! Just the lady I was hoping to see.” Dorian looks suspiciously pleased as he walks over to you and Varric. With a well-trained grace, he leans against the table.

“Did you come here to give me another book recommendation or to gloat?” A laugh reverberates through the Tevinter’s chest, “Both actually. You know me so well dear.” Dorian drops a book in front of you with a thunk.

It takes you a few moments to process the title. When you do a dark red blush inflames your face. “Dorian! What made you… How did you-“

“Servants are notorious gossips. Trust me, I use to hear my fair share back home. Talk in the kitchen is there was a noise complaint stemming from the Inquisitor’s room last night. You might have even used what is in this book.” You shoot Varric a death glare when he dares to laugh. You seethe in anger, even more, when Varric hands Dorian a pouch which no doubt contained coins.

“You placed a bet on me?!”

“Not you specifically dear. Your relationship with Commander Cullen.” When you turn your fiery stare up at Dorian, he holds up his hands in defense. “What? It was simply too tantalizing to watch you struggle to profess your ‘undying love’ to each other. I should be thanking you because if you waited even one more day, I would be out a good lump sum of coin.”

Varric scoffs, “It’s my fault for thinking Curly wasn’t the spontaneous type. Not my best business decision.” Dorian turns his attention back to the dwarf. “Don’t judge a book by its cover. Our Commander is a giant softy under all the muscular prowess,” The irony of it all!

“Will you two shut it!” Maker, you were embarrassed beyond repair. To your annoyance, another person invites themselves to sit next to you. The Iron Bull wraps a meaty arm around your shoulder, jostling you. “Proud of you boss. I knew you had it in you.”

You cover your face with one of your hands and groan, “I’m guessing all of Skyhold knows by now.”

“Not the goody bits!” Sera’s voice comes from across the table. What in the Maker did you do to deserve this?! Snatching the book that started this all you abruptly stand from the table. “If you’ll excuse me, I have more important matters to attend to that don’t include exposing my personal affairs in my private chambers.”

With that, you ignore the overlapping comments from your companions as you exit the tavern. Well, your good mood was short-lived. Even still you wouldn’t have changed a thing that happened last night. Although you would need to see about getting your bed adjusted.

On your journey to Cullen’s office, you hold the piece of literature, if you could even call it that, Dorian “gifted” you in a white-knuckled grip. Pressed against your hip was a book with a title that read, “Ancient Elven Positions: How to Seduce and Keep a Lover”.

Notes:

Elven Translation:
Isalan ma gara suin em = I want you to come into me.

This might be my favorite fic I have ever written. Dragon Age has my heart and soul, so I’ve been DYING to write something for it. I didn’t think it would be this long, but I don’t regret a word. I hope you guys like it! Thank you for reading <3

(Also, the book Dorian gives the Inquisitor is supposed to be like the Kama Sutra lol. ALSO, I imagine that if Solas knew about the book, he would have even less hesitation about destroying the world LMAO.)