Chapter Text
1:30 p.m. pandas the seventh wheel
knife wifes wife : anyone can help me with math
panda : what topic
knife wifes wife : idk but it has algebra
mean asshole : ew algebra
knife wife : the math for straight people
salmon hair : good thing none of us are straight
dog person : you guys just suck at math
panda : straight fushiguro era 😳
dog person : ew gross
dog person : go cry me a river about how bad you are at math
knife wifes wife : how do we know your not just straight 🤔
dog person : @salmon hair make out with me
salmon hair : mkayy
dog person : also
dog person : HAH I WIN
salmon hair : motherfucker
dog person : im fucking you tho ?
salmon hair : s m h
dog person : YUUJI ARE YOU A MOTHER ???
salmon hair : do yall need photographic evidence btw
salmon hair : i have a pic of meg kissing my neck if you want
salmon hair : also yes i am megs
salmon hair : stripes is my child
dog person : tbh you scared me for a second
dog person : also ?? When did you take the pic ??
salmon hair : its a mirror selfie
salmon hair : remember when you kissed me in the bathroom
dog person : ohh yea
dog person : also send me please :O
salmon hair : mkay ;D
panda : at least we know he ain’t straight
itafushi is blind
the thirdwheel : in actual tears rn 😀
the thirdwheels gf : one gay bestfriend duo who are very gay for each other down one more to go
the thirdwheels gf : also if i come over and kiss you will it make you feel better
the thirdwheel : i dont need to feel better im js subsjsks oml they were literally tgt and we didnt even realise
the thirdwheel : also yes pls
the thirdwheels gf : coming :>
private chat between apple juice and orange juice (aka yuta and toge)
nerds
apple juice : so we’re keeping this lowkey right ?
orange juice : yes , i want Maki to have the biggest shock of her life when she sees me kiss you when you get your ass back here
apple juice : i- okay :O
orange juice : are you blushing again
apple juice : maybe
apple juice : can you blame me tho
orange juice : nah
orange juice : btw im going to flirt with you every single second your back here
orange juice : just to see that pretty blush on your face
apple juice : oh my lord
orange juice : i could start now pretty boy
apple juice : do you want me to die ?
orange juice : yes its been a part of my scheme all along
apple juice : romeo and juliet core ✨
orange juice : LMAO
apple juice : its true tho
orange juice : do share some of your literature wisdom with the class
apple juice : so basically romeo saw juliet at a party and thot she was hot or smth then
apple juice : they fuck and then death
orange juice : dw if we ever planned to fake it i would check ur pulse UwU
apple juice : good to know
orange juice : also when are you coming back O': .
apple juice : should be the same time as last year and the year before
orange juice : so no change ?
apple juice : yep
orange juice : boo 😒
apple juice : u realise i regularly listen to the song i can't handle change right ?
orange juice : your life literally 360-ed in like several months while you were at school with us
apple juice : why do you think i listen to it
apple juice : not that meeting you guys was a bad thing
apple juice : especially you
orange juice : aww you spelled especially out for me
apple juice : the peak of romance tbh
orange juice : literally 😻
private chat between ita & fushi
we’re as straight as a pretzel
ita : when do you think gojo sensei will find out 👀
fushi : about us ? he already knew i had a crush on you
fushi : (not that i told him)
fushi : but he doesn’t know we got tgt
ita : i'd love to know his reaction to that
ita : (as expected)
fushi : he told me to ask you out and all that but i obviously didn’t listen
ita : heh i had to ask you out 😎
fushi : yk i love you but i don't think i ever would have on my own
ita : understandable im very menacing
fushi : i get to ask you to marry me though
ita : dhdbsjsgshjsnj
fushi : also did you do the biology homework
ita : you can’t just-
ita : also no i didn’t
fushi : do it with me 🙏
ita : mm wasn’t in the mood to do hw tho
fushi : pleasee 🛐 its boring without you
ita : you just want to make out
fushi : wow you can read me like a book 😳
ita : just come to my dorm already lover boy
fushi : as you wish
panda is the seventh wheel
mean asshole : so since yutas coming back soon you are all obligated to come have dinner 🤭
panda : 👌
knife wife : u act as if we’d refuse
mean asshole : just making sure you all know you dont have a choice
anxiety 101 : thats sweet Toge but they dont have to come if they don't want to
knife wife : and you act as if we wouldn’t want to
anxiety 101 : i just want you to know you have a choice 😭
mean asshole : oh yea @knife wife’s wife @salmon hair @dog person yall are invited 😻
mean asshole : cause yuta thinks yall are cool 😎
anxiety 101 : shush Toge
knife wifes wife : cool are we eating at the dorms ? ordering in ? cooking ? or going to town
knife wife : town the only person whos ever been able to cook is yuta and we’re not making him do that
mean asshole : wheres itafushi they usually reply faster
knife wifes wife : well i saw megumi in the kitchen earlier and he smiled at his phone , got up and went in the direction of their dorms so they're probably busy
anxiety 101 : is there nothing esle he could be smiling abt
knife wifes wife : u already know the answer to that
knife wife : megumi's got dead eyes till yuji walks into the room and suddenly their sparkling
mean asshole : lets leave them to their own devices till dinner then
knife wifes wife : good idea
knife wife : nancy drew who 😻
2 hours later ~
salmon hair : LMAO 💀💀
dog person : stop gossiping about us in a group chat we’re in
dog person : use the other one 😒
knife wife’s wife : YK ABT THE OTHER ONE ????
dog person : yea ? it’s not like you were super secretive about it
knife wifes wife : FUSHIGURO MEGUMI HAVE YOU BEEN SNOOPING
dog person : oh no ! you caught me
dog person : ofc not you mentioned it while half asleep
mean asshole : not her breaking out the full caps
dog person : ofc not …
knife wifes wife : i-
knife wife : lmao 🤡
knife wifes wife : MAKI
mean asshole : rip 💀
knife wife : sorry babe ily but its funny
knife wifes wife : i guess :/ but still feeling really betrayed rn
mean asshole : catra applesauce meow meow that u ?
anxiety 101 : babe what 😀
knife wife : if im adora and nobara is catra that means yuuji is bow right
panda : my eyes have been opened
panda : i call swiftwind
mean asshole : not the pastel horse 👹
salmon hair : pastel horse LMAO 😭💀
anxiety 101 : toge ,, dont leave me hanging 😭😭😭
mean asshole : thats her full name 💀
anxiety 101 : catra’s ?
knife wife : yuh
anxiety 101 : your joking
mean asshole : nope :P
anxiety 101 : why-
salmon hair : idk but i love it