Chapter Text
3 days later…
Wilhelm's bones crack as he stumbles out of bed, blindly searching for the robe Simon lent him their first night together, spent lounging inside, too drawn in by each other to even entertain the idea of breaking past the comfort of Simon's home. It feels like a lifetime ago when, realistically, it's only been days since everything happened.
Wilhelm sighs, still weighted by the week's events, only able to find relief when he's in Simon's arms and reminded that it's all worth it. How perfectly they fit together despite how difficult it was to get here. A fact that's only confirmed when Wilhelm descends the stairs with fresh coffee wafting through Simon's apartment as he makes his way toward the kitchen.
Wilhelm blinks the sleep from his eyes as he rounds the corner to find Simon leaning against the counter. He sips his coffee and stares at the fridge like he might hold the secrets of the universe. Soft skin and intense eyes that draw Wilhelm in, bright concern to his brow when Simon doesn't seem to register his presence.
"Simon?" Wilhelm says, stepping further into the kitchen.
Simon jumps at Wille's voice. His coffee sloshes in his mug but thankfully doesn't spill as he seems to focus back on reality.
"Sorry," Simon mumbles, turning around to reach into the cupboard for a mug which he hands to Wilhelm.
Carefully watching the unconvincing smile on Simon's lips, Wilhelm pours coffee into the cup, failing to let it cool but welcoming the bitter trail it leaves over his tongue and down his throat. He never used to drink it black but has grown accustomed to the taste over the years.
"I think we should talk," Simon says stiffly, catching Wilhelm off guard.
Wilhelm's heart immediately sinks to his knees. "Uh, y–yeah," he mumbles, trying not to think of how this single conversation might break his heart.
He could never regret it though. Even if Simon takes it all back and says he wants nothing to do with Wille. Wilhelm would cherish last night, and every moment he and Simon shared close to his chest. Because Simon didn't just give Wilhelm an evening of lust and touch, he gave him more than that. He reminded Wille to live for himself and at his own pace. Simon really is magnificent in that way, but despite that, fear instantly creeps up his throat and latches onto his tongue. It's impossible to say anything more as he follows Simon down the narrow hall leading to the lounge, where they'd had their first real conversation.
Wilhelm sits, holding tightly to his mug if only to stop himself from bringing his nail to his mouth and chewing dangerously close to the nail bed. He waits patiently, scared to look up but forcing himself to do so. To meet Simon's gaze, which thankfully doesn't look as intimidating as the words 'I think we should talk' are.
Simon sips his drink and then rolls his lips together, wetting them with his tongue as he places the mug on the coffee table. He sighs like he's trying to muster up some form of courage to help the words spill past his mouth. It isn't until Wilhelm prompts him with the simple use of Simon's name that it all comes out.
"Where will you live?" Simon asks abruptly.
Wilhelm blinks. He shouldn't be surprised. It's a valid question that Wilhelm himself has been pondering throughout these blissful days that they have spent tangled in the sheets, hiding from the world and responsibilities. Wilhelm had asked Simon if he needed to go to work, but Maddie gave him the weekend off to sort everything out, and as the weekend comes to a close, it seems that time is now.
"Well, I've been thinking about moving back to Sweden," Wilhelm begins, carefully choosing his words, not wanting to give Simon the wrong impression, so desperate to do things right. "I'll have to find a job and a place to live. I can't imagine Kristina will be thrilled to have me in the house. It'll just be a few days though. I've saved enough that I should be okay for at least four months, maybe longer."
"You think she'll cut you off?" Simon asks, seeming genuinely shocked.
Wilhelm shrugs. "Probably, I'm sure my dad will try to talk her out of it, but we both know he's never been one to call the shots."
Simon sighs, shoulders shrinking. His thinking face, like when they were kids, tackles his features. "You could stay here until you find your own place. That way you don't have to deal with Kristina," Simon suggests. "But I don't think we should live together, not yet," he clarifies, clearly following the same path Wilhelm's mind had ventured.
A place somewhere in the distant future where the two of them own their own home, living in harmony. Simon with his music and Wilhelm with… whatever the hell he's going to do. But most importantly, together. Bickering over household chores and snuggling in front of the TV with blankets scattered over their bodies.
Wilhelm clears his throat, ignoring the tension in his body. Everything feels very real all of a sudden. Everything he's done and the people he's given up. Sure, Wilhelm never liked his life in France, but that does mean he won't miss the few people he's actually managed to form connections with. He brings his hand to his chest, pressing firm over his heart with a steady palm, like the anxiety he's kept at bay for three days is finally crawling to the surface for Wilhelm to face. The consequences of his actions. The fallout.
"Wille?"
He knows it's Simon talking, knows that behind the muffled blur of his voice lies the man Wilhelm loves and aches to be with at any cost.
"Wille? Are you okay?" Simon asks again, placing his hand on Wilhelm's shoulder.
A shiver marks a path from Simon's touch throughout Wilhelm's entire body, and with that, Wilhelm knows it will all be okay in the end. No matter what happens, he and Simon will always have each other. He'll make sure of it.
"Yeah, I'm okay," Wilhelm smiles before sipping his coffee, attempting to hold together his emotional side that wants to collapse into Simon's arms and unravel the man like he has the last few days. To touch him where Wille knows he likes and hold him in the way Simon begged for the previous night. But this is important. They need to talk. They should talk. "I agree. I think I should find my own place before w–we think about that sort of stuff."
It's true. Wille does think it's best for both of them. They've already rushed into so much they should ease into the rest. Learn to feel comfortable with each other, and get to know each other again. Because, as much as Wilhelm hates to admit it, he doesn't really know this version of Simon. Sure, he can recognize the bits of the man that remain from his childhood, and he's still so fundamentally the same person, but things are different. He's different. And if Wilhelm's honest, he's not sure Simon knows him entirely either.
It should make him sad, the thought that there's distance between, but if anything, it only excites Wilhelm. It's as if he can watch the same show or book over again with the same knowledge as before but with elements that bring something new to the screen or page. And to Wilhelm, it seems a gift.
As the day continues, Simon brings up similar questions. Some that Wille has answers to and others that they come up with together. Eventually, they ask about the years they missed and the adventures they couldn't share until now.
"You really want to know?" Simon asks as he begins to cut up peppers he'd found hiding in the back of the fridge.
Wilhelm thinks for a moment. He considers declining, but the torture of endless wondering almost makes him feel sicker. So, Wilhelm nods with a playful grimace that Simon chuckles at.
"There were only three other men I was with after you," Simon confesses, each like an arrow to Wilhelm's chest. "There was Marcus, who I told you about, the one who broke up with me."
"Asshole doesn't know what he's missing," Wilhelm comments, playful enough that Simon knows he's joking and laughs with him.
"And after him was Chad," Simon confesses with a grimace.
Wilhelm can't help but snort, "I'm sorry, Chad?"
Simon sighs, focusing on the peppers and hanging his head with embarrassment. "He was American and didn't last long… in more ways than one," Simon tacks on with a telling brow.
Wilhelm snickers along with him. As much as it pains him to know that there were others, he has no right to feel any resentment, but that doesn't fix the jealousy he's currently trying to mask.
"But I guess the only real one of note was Anders," Simon says with an almost wistful air like he's reflecting fondly on moments that Wilhelm doesn't get access to, and he's sure he wouldn't want it with the way Simon's smile drives like a dagger in his heart.
"And Anders was, uhm," Wilhelm clears his throat, shifting back against the counter beside Simon. "He was special?"
Simon looks at Wilhelm as if assessing whether or not to continue his story. But something about Wilhelm's curiosity must encourage him, so he keeps on.
"Anders was… we were together for about a year. We broke up just before we were gonna move in together," Simon stops cutting the peppers and turns to rest his hip on the counter. "Half my stuff was already in boxes," he says with a small laugh.
"What happened?" Wilhelm asks, finding himself genuinely interested.
Simon grimaces, looking to the floor as he rolls his lips together like he's not particularly proud of himself or at least a tad ashamed or embarrassed.
Wilhelm frowns at his obvious discomfort. "You don't have to tell me, I'm not–"
"No no, it's not that, it's just uh…" Simon licks his lips, finally looking up to meet Wille's gaze. "One night, I was at his place, and we were, uhm, in the middle of…" Simon trails off, eyes casting to the floor for a split second.
Wilhelm's stomach sinks, and a prickle rips through his chest that he does everything not to physically shake away.
"I was about to uhm… and well, I might have said the wrong name," Simon bites his lips, scrunching his nose like he's genuinely embarrassed at the confession.
"Oh my god," Wilhelm says, holding back a small burst of laughter that comes only when Simon seems amused by it too.
"Shut up, it was mortifying, and it ended a year-long relationship!" Simon shoves Wilhelm's shoulder with a smile that silently tells Wilhelm he's moved past the unfortunate incident. Still, Wilhelm reigns back the laughter, not wanting to seem insensitive.
"So, whose name did you call?" Wilhelm asks, crossing his arms over his chest, attempting to look casual as he waits for an answer.
Simon looks at him then, his features questioning like he's unsure if Wilhelm's asking a serious question. "You're joking, right?" Simon asks.
Wilhelm frowns, unsure of what exactly he could be joking about. "No," he says with uncertainty.
"Wille," Simon says his name as if his following words will be the most obvious thing in the world. "I said your name."
"Oh."
As Simon nods slow and amused, something warm slides between Wilhelm's ribs and heart. He leans into the feeling, preferring it over the jealousy.
"I mean, he at least was kind enough to let both of us finish before he pointed it out to me. I hadn't even noticed I'd done it." Simon confesses, turning back to the peppers with an almost nonchalance.
Wilhelm's mind travels to unfortunate places as Simon chops in silence, moving to the carrots as Wilhelm gets himself a glass of water, chugging it down in four gulps before placing the glass in the sink. He leans against the counter behind Simon in his u-shaped kitchen, letting his eyes trail over the man's frame. His navy blue jeans and yellow plaid shirt.
He thinks about all the times he almost did the same thing with Simon's name. It happened often enough that Wilhelm would be lying if he said he never thought of Simon during sex, that he never got off with a picture of the curly-haired man in his head, which he'd of course force himself to forget once it was done.
"Did you ever think of me when you got yourself off?" Wilhelm finds himself asking, lost in visions of Simon wrapping his hand around himself while Wilhelm's name circled over his lips. And worse, he pictures Chad or Anders, faceless strangers, driving into Simon from behind as he pretends it's Wilhelm. A horrible thing to dream up in his head, but the idea that Simon's always wanted him, just like Wille had wanted Simon, is enough to drive him mad.
Simon snorts, shaking his head. "Of course I did, Wille. Probably even when I shouldn't have." Simon's voice wavers slightly as he pushes a small pile of carrots to the side with his knife, moving on to the next.
Wilhelm's heart aches as he crowds closer behind the man, slouching slightly to rest his chin on Simon's shoulder. "I thought of you too," Wilhelm confesses like a sullied secret he should be ashamed of, and he is a bit. Still, he breathes in the man in front of him and can't help the words that pass his lips. "I'm still not finished with Later," Wilhelm says, voice raspy in Simon's ear as he crowds behind the man. His breath begins to fall heavily against Simon's skin as he drags his lips along his neck, breathing the fresh scent of morning coffee and coconut.
Simon gently tilts his head to the side and leans into Wilhelm's touch as Wille snakes his hands around Simon's middle. "Good," Simon whispers, licking his lips, creating a gloss that Wilhelm catches from the corner of his eye. "And this time can be slow," Simon adds, gasping when Wilhelm begins to suck at the flesh near the back of his neck.
"Good," Wilhelm murmurs, already lost in the warmth of Simon's skin as he spins him around and drops to his knees, intent on making this last. Or at least last longer than Chad had.
3 months later…
"You know when you said to come over for a beer, this isn't what I imagined," Henry remarks, placing one of Wilhelm's moving boxes onto Simon's– well, their kitchen table.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Simon responds while stacking his box on top of the others, dusting his hands together with an innocent smile.
"Come see the new place, they said. It'll be fun, they said," Henry mocks, grabbing his beer, which Simon and Wille actually did provide, off the fireplace mantle, taking a generous swig.
"Would you stop complaining and get the last box," Stella teases her husband, giving him a peck on the cheek before he mumbles something like 'yes, dear'. He grumbles something under his breath that makes Felice and Sara laugh as they pass him through the front door.
Wilhelm had made a point to invite Sara to his and Simon's moving escapade. They were never really close, but when Wille and Simon had finally got back together, and Wilhelm made his way to the Eriksson residence for dinner, there had been some tension. Linda was lovely as ever, but Sara… well, she loves her brother, and Wilhelm can't blame her for feeling protective over him. If Wilhelm's honest, he's happy she was the way she was. It was nice to know that Sara was looking after him for once and not the other way round.
"Is that it?" Simon asks, moving to Wilhelm's side.
"That is all," Felice confirms with a smile. "Can you believe this? You two together at last," she moves closer to hug them both, followed by Sara with her own congratulations.
"I expected you to wait longer to move in. I thought it was a bad idea?" Sara asks plainly, mainly looking to Simon for an answer.
He smiles, huffing a breath of laughter at his sister. "Well, this place was too good to pass up."
Simon's right of course. Wilhelm had found an apartment fairly quickly after moving back to Sweden, he'd only needed to stay with Simon for a week, but it was long enough to make the move sting a bit. Wilhelm's place was a month-by-month agreement which meant he was living on his toes, waiting for the day his landlord finally said to beat it. That was when he'd stumbled across this place. It was perfect, an apartment complex right near the city center, only a block from Rosh and Maddie's place. The only problem was it was a tad out of Wilhelm's price range. That's when Simon suggested they move together. They'd agreed to wait, but it just seemed right, so they decided to take the plunge.
It's a two-bedroom place. One room is entirely dedicated to Simon's music, a room at the corner point of the building with enough windows to last a lifetime. The perfect place for Simon to find inspiration and motivation.
"And when's the official housewarming party?" Henry asks, making himself known as he hands the last box to Stella, who nearly drops under the weight of it, something Henry doesn't consider as he scrambles to save her from being squished.
"If I'm alive to attend, that is," Stella remarks playfully, using Henry's help to set the box down.
The idea of a housewarming party does something to Wilhelm's belly that both flurries with nerves while also excitement. There's a thrill behind being able to entertain his friends in his new place, a place he shares with Simon, because they're together, finally.
"We'll have one eventually. We just need to get unpacked first," Wilhelm says, shoving his hand in his hair as his eyes trail across the sea of boxes they've surrounded themselves with. Wilhelm's already tired and has never been happier about their choice to unpack the bedroom over the weekend so they'd have a place to sleep during the transition.
"And on that note, we'll be leaving," Felice says, herding the others out of the house, clearly avoiding helping them unpack entirely.
As they make their way to the door, Felice spins on her heel. She hugs Wilhelm and tells him how excited she is for him. How proud. And she's gone before Wilhelm could even attempt to ask her to stay.
Wilhelm and Simon spend most of the evening setting up their kitchen, ordering pizza when they realize that most of the items primarily used for cooking are buried at the bottom of a massive stack of boxes. After the food arrives in the late hour of the evening, they silently agree that it's time to call it a night.
It's not their first time sleeping in the new place together, but it is the first where there's no backup apartment to fall on if things go south. Simon had given the keys back to his landlord earlier that morning, and Wilhelm had done the same the day before. It seems monumental for some reason, and as Wilhelm lays under the sheets, tucked into Simon's side, he can't help but keep himself from saying something.
"Thank you," he whispers into the night, unsure if Simon's even awake by the methodical rise and fall of his chest and steady beat of his heart where Wilhelm's ear is pressed.
"For what?" Simon asks.
His hand trails through Wilhelm's hair, the contact wonderfully comforting, sending waves of devotion through Wilhelm's body. Wishing there was some way he could clutch onto Simon tighter, to hold him close and give every bit of himself to the man. To trust him with the good and the bad and be trusted with the same in return. It's terrifying how important Simon is to him, how intense every touch carries more meaning than Wilhelm could ever comprehend.
Wilhelm shifts to nuzzle his nose in the crook of Simon's neck, leaning into the scent like it's the oxygen he breathes. "Just thank you. For everything."
It's Simon who moves this time, reaching to turn on the bedside lamp which glows dimly and impractical across the room. Wilhelm had tried to convince Simon to replace the dark shades that do more to dull the light than amplify it, but Simon declared the yellow it emits as 'mood lighting' and who was Wilhelm to argue with that. And in truth, he's happy for Simon's choice because as Simon rolls back, a halo of warmth surrounds the shadow of his body, magnifying the sharp jut of his hips and trail of curls over his head. Wilhelm wants to reach out and touch, but it's almost as if he's stunned to silence by Simon's beauty, completely frozen in want.
"Are you okay, Wille?" Simon asks, reaching out to stroke his cheek, a gesture that never fails to make Wilhelm's heart flutter. "Baby?" Simon asks again, smoothing his hand over Wilhelm's shoulder now.
His touch vibrates over Wille's body, and goosebumps rise to every inch of visible skin. The hairs of his neck stand in the most delicious way, completely in tune with the pads of Simon's fingers as they move to outline Wilhelm's lips, his nose, then his eyelids. It's overwhelming and nowhere near enough. Wilhelm's so taken with every bit of Simon that it almost seems like nothing will give way to the pull that rests low in his belly, untouched and wanting, begging, praying, until…
"Simon, will you fuck me?" Wilhelm asks, sure that his face and chest have gone flush, splotched with nervousness he hasn't felt in years.
"What?" Simon whispers with wide and unbelieving eyes.
Wilhelm takes a deep and slow breath, gaze dancing across Simon's features, never wavering. "I want–want to feel you come inside me."
"Holy shit, Wille," Simon half laughs with a small but wondrous smile. "Warn a guy, will you? You're gonna kill me."
A grin makes its way to Wilhelm's lips, chuckling fondly at a memory he's sure Simon remembers. "Imagine hearing that while already inside me and on the brink of coming," Wilhelm remarks cheekily.
Simon huffs a breath of laughter. "Fair point," he agrees.
A lull of silence stretches across the room, not uncomfortable or unnerving, just two people pondering the moment. Simply being in each other's presence as their hands linger over the other. Simon moves to help Wilhelm remove his shirt and to do the same to his own, chucking both to the floor before settling above Wilhelm, nestled between his thighs.
Simon rolls his lips together, wetting them as his presence brings an aching warmth south of Wilhelm's body. "You want me to fuck you, baby?" Simon asks, voice carrying a wanting rasp that Wilhelm's not sure he's heard before. He can feel it under his skin, burning hot in his veins, growing more intense the longer Simon's eyes trace along his neck, chin, and lips.
Wilhelm nods, incapable of anything else.
"You want me to come inside you?" Simon adds, rocking his hips in a way that makes Wilhelm's breath hitch.
"Please," he whimpers, moving his hands to Simon's sides, nails involuntarily digging into Simon's skin.
Simon tilts his head, looking at Wilhelm with an intensity that adds to the hunger aching between them. "You know, I almost said it that time," Simon says like he should be making complete sense to Wilhelm.
"Said what?" Wilhelm manages to ask despite Simon refusing to cease the movement of his hips, making Wilhelm's desire more prominent under his sweatpants.
Simon laughs, looking back at a memory Wilhelm can't recall, at least not on his side of the event that Simon's referring to. "When you were on top of me, buried so fucking deep I thought I was losing my mind, I almost said 'I love you,' but I stopped myself." Simon shrugs, and Wilhelm's entire mind goes numb, if only for a moment. Simon's fingers trail through his hair, bringing him back from a version of the memory Wilhelm never thought to conjure.
"Why didn't you say it?" He asks, hands grasping Simon tighter now.
Simon shrugs. "I was scared. I mean, we were just kids and I didn't want to ruin it in case you didn't feel the same way."
"I did," Wilhelm confirms, faster than he's probably responded to anything in his life.
Simon rolls his eyes, smiling sweetly from above. "Well, I know that now," he says, leaning down to capture Wilhelm's lips.
They kiss for a while, rocking their bodies together in the best of ways, their excitement clear as day as Simon begins to kiss a wonderful trail the length of Wilhelm's chest and downward until he's toying at the hem of Wilhelm's sweats. He gently tugs them off, meeting Wilhelm's grin as he casts them aside to the floor.
Simon crawls up Wilhelm's body once more, hovering over him. "Are you sure, baby?" Simon asks, searching Wilhelm's expression. "It can feel a bit… uncomfortable at the end."
Wilhelm's heart softens at Simon's warning, bringing his mind back to the first time Simon buried himself inside him. They've done this before, but Simon had worn a condom then. He had handled Wilhelm with every lick of care he could muster, holding Wilhelm gently, checking in so often that Wilhelm had to remind him that he'd tell Simon to stop if he wanted, which of course, he never did.
He knows this is different, though. It's different because after they'd both gotten tested and Wilhelm was able to do this exact same thing to Simon after so many years later, something changed between them. Not necessarily because of the act itself but more so because of the trust behind it. What it means to wholly give yourself to someone. Simon said he'd never gone without protection with another man. Wilhelm couldn't say the same for him and Marion, which did fill him with a sliver of guilt, but Simon didn't seem bothered by it.
Wilhelm focuses back. He presses his palms to the back of Simon's neck, thumbs toying with the small curls there, drawing his attention to Wilhelm's words to ensure that Simon hears them. "Simon, I've waited over five years to know what it's like to feel you like this. I'm definitely sure that this is something I want."
It's enough, of course it's enough, because Simon trusts Wilhelm. If he says it's okay, that he's okay, then Simon will listen.
It doesn't take long to stretch Wille, sure they don't do this often, but that doesn't mean Simon's fingers don't occasionally wander south amid a heated moment. Simon shifts back on his heels once three fingers effortlessly glide within Wilhelm's body. He licks his lips and curls the digits, drawing a hopeless moan from the back of Wilhelm's throat. He flutters around Simon's fingers.
"Please, Simon," Wilhelm whimpers, barely able to keep still, to hold his hips stable, desperate to rock against Simon's hand. "M'ready,"
Wilhelm gasps a short breath when Simon removes his hand completely, suddenly empty where he was just beginning to feel satisfied within himself. Pulsing around nothing as Simon swears under his breath. Wille's head presses back against the pillow when Simon's lube-slicked hand wanders over his own length until it glistens in the light.
"Fuck, baby, you look so good like this," Simon moans, reaching out for one of their pillows to tuck it under Wilhelm's rear so his tailbone easily angles upward as Simon moves above him. His hands press against the backs of Wille's thighs, pushing them against his chest to keep steady as he positions himself at Wilhelm's entrance, bearing down as their eyes lock with every heated touch and bated breath that's led them to this point.
Wilhelm whimpers, a breathy moan escaping him that might sound something like Simon's name, but he can't be sure, too lost in the glide of Simon's length as he easily deepens within him. Neither let their gaze falter, peering desperately at each other as Simon hits that particular spot which makes Wilhelm's lips form a desperate circle, working with everything in him to watch Simon the entire time. Savouring every detail. He narrows in on the bead of sweat that trickles the length of Simon's temple, the way he presses his lips together, licking them deliciously like it's taking everything in him not to plow into Wilhelm with no regard for anything but the brutal pleasure he surely aches for.
"Wille," Simon finally breathes, pressing down so his stomach rests at the back of Wilhelm's thighs, leaning between his knees to press his forehead to Wilhelms, nearly folding him in half.
Wilhelm should find it uncomfortable, not used to being bent this way, but either he's suddenly become increasingly more flexible without realizing it, or the warmth of Simon pressed inside him is enough to distract his mind from any discomfort he might feel. Though he's sure he'll feel it tomorrow.
Simon's still not moving. He's breathing through his nose, waiting for Wilhelm to give him the okay, which he gladly does, signalling for Simon to press and take and pull from anywhere he desires.
It's hot and cold all at once, sending sparks through Wilhelm's body, unlike before. Burning and aching as he clutches the sheets, tugging desperately as if it's the only thing that will keep his mind sane when Simon finally lets go completely and fills Wilhelm with every part of himself. The thought alone makes Wilhelm's eyes roll, accompanied by a surely unattractive moan that catches in Wilhelm's throat as Simon barrels down, deeper than before, deep enough to build a delicious tension in Wilhelm's body, shivering through his frame as he tugs fiercely thin fabric around him.
"Simon," Wille gasps with a warning. "I'm gonna–fuck–come."
Simon nods against him, pressing a gentle kiss to Wilhelm's brow. "That's it, baby, you can come for me."
Another roll of pleasure ripples from Wilhelm's chest toward his cock from Simon's words for reasons he hadn't expected. The way Simon grants him permission, decides he's allowed, does something that Wilhelm tucks away for another time.
"No-no," Wilhelm studders, clutching onto Simon's arm when he begins to slow his pace, squeezing with reassurance. "Want you to feel you in–in me before I–fuck," Wilhelm manages to breathe out, biting at his lip, holding himself back from the edge.
Simon nods eagerly, "Okay, baby, I got you."
Simon begins to fully take what he needs, fucking into Wilhelm at a wonderous pace, frantic and beating to the drum of Simon's heart, searching for what he needs while doing just that for Wilhelm. Driving into the untouched place of him that still aches for more, only given temporary release with Simon's thrusts until finally, Simon rolls his hips and calls Wille's name, a half-broken whimper as he grinds lower than Wilhelm thought possible.
He gasps as Simon's warmth erupts within him, cock throbbing against his walls as his head presses back against the pillow with Simon's name fresh on his lips. It's then that everything comes washing over him with a breathless moan. He focuses on Simon inside him, how the warmth Simon shares, low in his belly, falls toward the place Wilhelm craved more than he thought he knew. Satisfied and aching as Wilhelm finds his own release as Simon softens deliciously within him. Stars mark Wilhelm's vision with a tense heat that coils through his veins, throughout his muscles until the only reality Wilhelm knows is the sensation of Simon Simon Simon, until everything fades to black and he's trembling under his lover's touch.
"Fuck," Simon breathes.
He slowly pulls out and removes the pillow from Wilhelm's rear, allowing his body to lay flat as Simon's warmth begins to drip free. As curious as it feels, Wilhelm leans into the sensation, melting into Simon's body as he shifts them on their sides, spooning Wilhelm from behind, massaging his thumb into Wilhelm's hip, like he determined the ache that's already blooming within his muscles from being bent at such an angle.
"So," Simon asks, kissing Wilhelm's temples as he continues to massage. "How do you feel?"
Wilhelm hums, body still limp from exertion, eyes fluttering closed not to sleep but to keep himself immersed in the moment. In the gentle press of Simon's hands as he works his skin, the warmth of Simon's body as he cradles Wilhelm with his own. But most importantly, the ache within him that, for the first time, in over five years, feels warm and settled, curiosity searched and answers gained. Answers that, frankly, Wilhelm loves.
"That was nice," Wilhelm hums, nuzzling back against Simon.
"Just nice?" Simon asks. Wilhelm can hear the smile on his lips.
"More than nice," Wilhelm confirms with a blissful smile as Simon leans to kiss his cheek.
"Good," Simon whispers.
6 months later…
Family dinners were something Wilhelm experienced a lot growing up. However, they never usually looked like this. Too many people crammed around a too-small table, elbows bumping while music courses through the quant space. Dishes handed for guests to scoop servings onto plates. Laughter that fills the room, causing everyone to shout just to be heard by the person next to them. It’s chaotic, and a mess and Wilhelm loves it.
“Shut up,” Simon playfully flings mashed potatoes across the table, nearly hitting his mother in the process.
Sara manages to dodge his attack, but only barely.
“Mama, do you see this?” Sara places her hand on her mother’s shoulder, grabbing her attention like she didn’t just witness Simon’s assault.
“I don’t know what you want me to do about it,” Linda innocently leans back in her chair with her hands up in surrender.
Linda’s gaze meets Wilhelm, and they both smile, trying their best to keep their laughter in check while Sara accuses Simon of writing endless songs about Wille after he left. A thought that both warms Wille’s heart while simultaneously spreading an ache through it. Of course, Sara’s only poking fun at how gone they’ve always been for each other, but that fact doesn’t erase the pain it took to get to this point. It’s obvious that Sara is exaggerating, trying to get a rise out of her brother. It’s ridiculous and silly, but Wilhelm can’t help the bits of joy that wander toward his heart and bring a smile to his eyes.
Rosh and Maddie join in on the argument, fueling the fire long enough that barely anyone notices when Linda begins to collect the plates. Wilhelm’s quick to help, stacking as many as he can before the walk to the kitchen becomes more dangerous than it should be. He wordlessly assists Linda by drying the dishes after she washes them, then putting them back in the cupboards and drawers they belong.
“How are things, Wille?” Linda asks after a stretch of comfortable silence.
She rinses a bowl before handing it over for Wilhelm to take, wiping away the droplets from the inside. “Good,” he smiles, and it’s the truth.
Things between Simon and Wille have never been better. They’ve spent the majority of the last six months relearning each other, loving each other, and adapting their lives to shape each other comfortably. As of late, that means involving Wilhelm in more of Simon’s family dinners. Something he’s more than happy to host.
“Mama, what are you doing?” Simon comes rushing around the corner, looking at his mother like she should know better. Linda attempts to defend herself, but Simon quickly dismisses her, insisting she’s a guest with strict orders to do nothing but sit down and enjoy herself.
“Alright alright,” Linda laughs, wiping her hands dry, then squeezing Wilhelm’s shoulder with an amused little smile before joining the others back at the table.
Simon quickly replaces his mother at the sink with a sort of grin that comes naturally. One that appears whenever Simon’s with his family, when he’s happy. Wilhelm loves it.
“Enjoying yourself?” Wilhelm asks, bumping his hip to Simon’s.
Simon looks up at him with a wistful gaze. “I love you.”
Wilhelm’s heart softens at the declaration. It’s not the first time Simon has said it, but it still makes his stomach swoop.
“I love you too,” Wilhelm responds, lips twitching into a grin as Simon focuses back on the dishes.
Wilhelm doesn’t look away, though. His eyes stay transfixed on soft skin and beautiful eyelashes. Pink lips and an adorable nose. On the man he loves, because god, does he love Simon.
9 months later…
"Look, I'm all for sharing, but I don't think Stella's as down as I am," Henry jokes, earning himself a slap on the shoulder from his wife that seems half-hearted as she holds back her own snort.
Felice glares in Henry's direction, sighing at the group, realizing her mistake as they all look back at her. Their group has outgrown Felice's cabin since Wilhelm re-entered the fold. Apparently, before this year, it was determined that the annual lakeside trip would remain the core group, but when Henry and Rosh pointed out that Simon and Wille got to have their partners here, they'd won out on a technicality. So now there stands eight of them in a place meant for six. Well, nine if you count the little one growing in Maddie's belly.
"We can take the couch," Simon says, pointing between him and Wille.
Wilhelm's brows shoot up at Simon's offer, which of course he'll follow along with. But being put on the couch where anyone could walk past wasn't exactly how he'd hoped to spend the weekend.
"We're not putting the birthday boy on the couch," Maddie says, gesturing toward Wilhelm like it should be obvious it's the last thing they'll do.
"Yeah, anyone could walk in on Wille's special night, and no one wants to see that," Rosh jokes earning herself a glare from Simon.
"Speak for yourself," Stella mutters under her breath, which is promptly greeted by Henry doing a double take at his wife, clearly taking a moment to process the words that turn Wilhelm's cheeks pink.
Felice interrupts their bantering, toying with her phone and chewing on the inside of her cheek as she thinks. "No one is sleeping on the couch," she declares as she dials a number into her phone. "Just give me a minute."
She argues with someone on the other end, but when she hangs up there's a smile on her face that suggests she's found a solution.
"Alright, there's a cabin about ten minutes from here where Maddie, Rosh, Henry and Stella can stay. Sara and I and Simon and Wille will all stay here. I've got a driver coming to shuttle you guys back and forth whenever you want," She smiles, clearly proud of her problem-solving abilities.
The solution seems to satisfy everyone. They agree to meet back at Felice's after dinner for a couple of drinks, declaring they'll save the real partying for the next night when it's Wilhelm's birthday. They keep good on their promise, sitting by the fire and calling it a night earlier than Wilhelm's ever witnessed for the group. Henry comments about them all getting old, which no one can disagree with, nor does anyone seem to want to. Sara takes the guest room, and Felice takes her parent's room, winking at Wilhelm and Simon as they climb the steps toward the leftover bedroom room. The room they stayed in ages ago.
Simon's hand pauses over the door handle, and a small smile plays on his lips like he's caught in the memories as much as Wilhelm.
"You okay?" Wilhelm asks, placing a reassuring hand on the small of Simon's back.
He turns to look at Wilhelm with a soft smile, tilting his head to the side, peering up at Wilhelm with amusement in his eyes. "I'm okay," he confirms and pushes the door open.
As soon as they step inside, Wilhelm is instantly transported to the past. Very little has changed, aside from maybe a lampshade and the colour of the curtains. If Wilhelm remembers correctly, they used to be a soft shade of purple, whereas now, hints of blue and white drift along the closed french doors that Simon instantly moves to open.
It's been an unseasonably warm spring, not that Wilhelm's complaining. The hot air is welcome within the room, but much too cold to manage sleep even when piled under the massive duvet.
"Remember the last time we slept here," Simon asks, spinning on his heel with his hands shoved in his pockets. A teasing smirk on his lips makes Wilhelm's heart do all kinds of flips as the moon and stars cast through the doorway, glowing around his body like he was meant to be in this exact spot. Beauty is illuminated by the wonders outside.
Wilhelm clears his throat, placing their bags on the bench at the end of the bed, peeling off his sweater before giving Simon his own knowing smirk. "How could I forget?" He asks, thinking back to the two of them, awkward and young with no idea what they were doing. Now, however, they very much know what they're doing.
Making quick work of it, Wilhelm moves toward Simon, wrapping his arms around the man's waist and drawing their bodies together. His intentions clear against Simon's thigh, which he chuckles at, looping his hands around Wilhelm's neck.
"Not tonight," Simon whispers, drawing Wilhelm in for a quick kiss.
Wilhelm groans, letting his forehead fall forward to press against Simon's. "But it's my birthday," he pouts, joking of course.
"Tomorrow is your birthday," Simon reminds, stepping out of Wille's space but not letting go of his hand to drag him toward the bed. "I'm going to need you well-rested if you're to survive tomorrow."
A shiver trails down Wilhelm's spine, excitement flowing low in his belly at the promise. "Is that right?" Wilhelm asks, following Simon in removing his shirt and pants, leaving them both in their boxers as they tuck under the covers.
Wilhelm snuggles around Simon's body, making up the big spoon. They fall asleep wrapped in each other's arms like most nights. The only difference is that when Wilhelm wakes up to the morning sun settling warm through the room, Simon is nipping on his ear and tickling his chest, circling Wilhelm's nipples and flicking gently with his thumb.
"Good morning," Simon whispers, nosing along Wilhelm's neck, kissing a trail to his chest as he moves to straddle Wilhelm's thighs.
"G'morning," Wilhelm murmurs, breath escaping him as Simon leans lower, licking across Wille's chest with the tip of his tongue, flicking dangerously until Wilhelm's nipples grow pointed and red.
"Fuck," Wilhelm whimpers when Simon's stomach grazes over his already straining length on the brink of coming from the attention so early in the morning.
Simon pulls back to look Wilhelm in the eye with a playful grin. "I want to blow you," Simon declares with a challenging flare to his words, mimicking the exact words Wilhelm had said all those years ago.
Maybe it's because he's been awake for less than five minutes, but the first thing he does is snort and say, "Is this the part where I'm supposed to say no and tell you to wait for tomorrow morning?"
Simon shakes his head, rolling his lips together as if playing unimpressed. "I mean, if you rather I didn't…"
Simon then begins to climb off Wilhelm's body as if planning to commit to the joke without a second thought. Of course, Wilhelm's hands grab Simon's hips, keeping him in place, if not a little closer to where Wilhelm wants him most.
"You're lucky you're cute," Simon giggles, leaning forward to plant his lips on Wilhelm's, keeping to his word as he shuffles down his body with wet kisses that are easy to get lost in.
Once satisfied and chasing to catch their breath, they roll out of bed to ready themselves for the day, barely able to brush their teeth past their smiles as they stand side by side in the mirror.
They spend the day rather casually, taking the boat out twice and barbecuing for lunch. The group spends most of the day on the beach, lending a hand to the constant nostalgia that trails through Wilhelm's mind. Both mixed with pleasant memories and sadness for the ones he missed. Still, it's the best way Wilhelm could imagine spending his birthday.
Simon touches Wilhelm's shoulder holding his phone toward him. "Phone call," Simon says with an odd sort of smile, making Wilhelm check the contact as it vibrates in his hand.
Incoming call from Marion [18:23]
Wilhelm's heart stops in his chest. They've talked once or twice before now. The first time was awkward and painful and held a lot of resentment on Marion's end. The second call had been Marion's birthday. He'd considered sending her a text, but it seemed wrong, not enough. They did spend a good chunk of their adult life together. Besides, it's not like Wilhelm dislikes Marion. There's just a lot left to settle between them. That was two months ago. She'd been surprised to hear from him but didn't seem to mind. They'd had a rather pleasant conversation that allowed Wilhelm a positive story when Simon later asked him how it went. So, she must be returning the favour, an extended hand that Wilhelm doesn't take lightly.
Wilhelm presses the green button on the phone screen and then holds it to his ear. "Hi," he says, looking at Simon, who gives him an encouraging nod.
"Wilhelm?" Marion asks on the other end. She sounds good, happy, maybe?
"Yeah, uh, just one second."
Wilhelm stands on the breach, turning to Simon and pointing toward the back porch of the house. When his partner nods, Wilhelm climbs the stairs to distance himself and the group.
"It's good to hear from you," Wilhelm confesses, meaning every word.
"Yeah, I just wanted to wish-wish you a happy birthday," Marion says through the line.
There's noise on the other end that sounds like a group of people. She's probably at some sort of private event at the museum if Wilhelm knows her at all. And he'd like to think he still does, even just a little bit.
"I appreciate it," Wilhelm says, watching his friends on the beach where they all sit together, laughing and enjoying the abnormally warm day.
There's a twinge in his chest that yearns for a world where things could have been different. Where somehow, Marion and Wilhelm didn't end in disaster, ending up friends over anything else. A world where she could join Wilhelm on this trip and mould seamlessly into the friend group. He misses her. They may not have worked together, but her absence is still felt all these months later. If she hadn't called something today, Wilhelm is certain his birthday would end feeling like something is missing.
"I should probably get back," she says, "tell Simon hi for me." There's no resentment in the words, and Wilhelm's heart warms.
"Of course," he smiles, gaze meeting Simon's curiosity the moment she says it. "Goodbye, Marion."
"Goodbye, Wilhelm."
3 years later…
He'd be lying if he said he wasn't nervous because of course he's nervous. It's an odd sort of feeling in his stomach that's crossed with excitement. Turning him into a mess of a person the moment he wakes up at an ungodly hour, even on Christmas morning.
He manages to sneak out of bed unnoticed by Simon, who rests comfortably in the warmth of their sheets, snoring softly into the room despite Simon being convinced he doesn't snore. Which he definitely does.
Wilhelm shuffles down the stairs of their place and creeps toward the kitchen, careful not to make a sound as he climbs onto the counter, probably looking ridiculous with his outstretched limbs as he opens the corner cupboard. He peers into the back, spotting a blue box lined with soft velvet. His heart flutters when his eyes land on the thing, instantly going over the plan in his head.
He'll set up the sitting room, spread pillows and blankets in front of the fireplace, make breakfast, and display it perfectly before Simon comes downstairs. It should be simple enough, but the time constraint makes things more difficult for Wilhelm. After starting the fire, he nearly lets the corner of one of the throw blankets hit the flame, but thankfully he's able to save it and set up the display quite nicely. He lights some candles around the room and turns off the main light. Something he probably should have done after bringing the food out, if only to avoid knocking everything over. But instead, he makes his way almost blindly through the room, the only light emitting from candles and the Christmas decorations, thankfully able to land the wooden tray over the blanket.
He prepared the meats and cheeses the night before and only had to cut the fruits and lay them out on a separate tray alongside the jams and crackers. It's not the most intense meal, but with limited cooking knowledge, it was the only thing Felice and him could come up with to avoid burning down the house. Though he seems capable of doing that no matter what. As an extra precaution, Wilhelm looks to the fireplace and quickly pulls the blankets further away from the edge.
He grabs an ice bucket and fills it fully, adding sparkling apple juice inside and bringing two wine glasses with him, adding it to the spread until everything looks perfect.
There's shuffling upstairs, and Wilhelm's heart drops to his stomach. He feels his pocket for the box, taking a deep breath when he finds it there. He tells himself it will all be okay, that Simon will say yes. They've talked about it already. It's what they both want. Still, it's hard to settle his nerves. It's not like Wille has the best track record when it comes to engagements. But this is different. This is right. It's for them, for both of them. Not a public spectacle, something private that they can enjoy together.
With a final pat over his pyjama pocket, Wilhelm quickly moves to the bottom of the stairs, looking up to find Simon in an oversized hoodie (one of Wilhelm's) and sweatpants. Simon licks his lips while softly blinking his eyes as if still waking himself.
"Hey, baby," Simon hums when he stops at the bottom step, making him about the same height as Wilhelm. He hums when Wille lifts his hands to Simon's hips with a warm smile and a kiss on his forehead.
"Morning," Wilhelm returns, ignoring the nervous tension under his skin, taking a deep breath and leaning into Simon's touch for comfort.
"You okay?" Simon asks, pulling away to look at him.
Simon's brow is raised like he can tell something is up. Wilhelm shakes his head to silently tell him there's nothing to be concerned about. And it seems enough for Simon to willingly follow when Wilhelm turns back, his hand still locked with Simon's, guiding him toward the lounge.
As soon as they pass the door, Wilhelm's sure to look back at his partner as he absorbs the scene. Simon's eyes cast over the warm Christmas decor, the gently crackling fireplace, and the spread atop the blanket on the ground.
"What is this?" Simon asks with a curious chuckle over his lips. His eyes scan the scene, mouth tilting at the sides as he steps further into the room.
Through the window, the morning light shines off the snow scattered outside, lighting Simon's features as he takes everything in. A shy smile creeps over Wilhelm's lips, watching carefully and eventually pulling his partner's hand to join Wilhelm on the floor.
"Can't I enjoy a nice Christmas morning with you?" Wilhelm asks, reaching for the sparkling apple juice and pouring some into their wine glasses if only to busy his hands.
Simon licks his lips, folding his legs under himself and reaching for a cracker, nibbling on it as Wilhelm begins to speak.
"Besides," Wilhelm clears his throat, taking a deep breath before looking at Simon's warm brown eyes. "I also uhm," suddenly, his throat feels dry, so he takes another sip of his drink then starts again. "I wanted to do something special, because well, it's the holidays, and that just seemed right." He had a speech planned. Why can't he remember the speech? "Plus, I knew we'd be alone and have a chance to see everyone later. It's just the perfect opportunity. But of course, I only want to if you want to, and it's– well, not that it's that sort of… all I'm saying is–"
A grin spreads on Simon's lips as Wilhelm fumbles through his words. He reaches to capture Wille's hands in his, silencing him instantly. "Wille, slow down," Simon says teasingly.
At Simon's reassurance, the tension in Wilhelm's body releases with a single exhale. A huff of laughter bubbles through his chest, and despite how comfortable he is with the man, he can feel his cheeks go pink. With how Simon's looking at him, rolling his lips together to mask an excited smile, Wilhelm is fairly certain he knows what's about to happen. Which somehow makes it all more thrilling for Wilhelm.
He reaches into his pocket and toys with the box. He clears his throat, and through his shy grin, he pulls it free and holds the box up to Simon. A gush of warmth flows from Wilhelm's chest as he watches Simon's expression light up beautifully against the scene Wille has set for them. His stomach somersaults as he opens the case to display the same gold ring that Simon had pointed out in the shop, what feels like forever ago.
Then, the words come to Wilhelm without needing to think. Straight from his heart. "Simon, there's no way I could describe how much I care for you. Since we were idiot kids until now, there's been a piece of my heart reserved only for you. You make me a better person, a more honest version of myself that you showed me how to find. You are special and kind and caring and so easy to love, and I can only hope I'm worthy of being able to cherish you every day," Wilhelm's voice wavers. He hoped he wouldn't cry but knew he would. How could he not with Simon, beautiful Simon, sitting on the floor across from Wilhelm, looking at him like he hangs the stars. Wilhelm sniffles, laughing slightly when Simon does the same. "Now, this may not be my first proposal," Simon laughs through his nose, playfully smacking Wilhelm's shoulder, "but it is the first one that feels right." Wilhelm pauses. He takes a deep breath to steady his words. "Please, Simon, will you marry me?"
Simon nods, and Wilhelm pulls the ring out, discarding the box to the side as Simon sticks out his hand.
"Of course I will, Wille."