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“Everyone! Gather around!”
At the sound of our manager’s voice, all 11 trainees stopped their actions and made their way towards the door, where their manager was waiting. Their choreographer was with him as well as another individual who even Changmin was unfamiliar with, and that says a lot considering that he was the first trainee of Cre.Ker Ent.
“Alright, let me introduce to our latest and last trainee. This is Kevin, Kevin Moon. His korean name is Hyungseo and he’ll be joining us from today.”
As soon as the name fell from our manager’s name, everyone widened their eyes and looked at him again. It was him, the participant from K-Pop Star 6, they were in the presence of a celebrity.
Beaming, all of us immediately bowed to greet him, “Hello! We’re The Boyz! Welcome to the team!”.
“Thank you! Please look after me as well!” Kevin chuckled and bowed towards us. His voice was really soothing, Changmin noted smiling from ear to ear. Finally, we are a complete team, Changmin thought, relieved.
“You’ll be beginning your dance class in 10 minutes! Take the time to get to know each other more.” said the manager as he and choreographer made their way out of the practice room.
As soon as the door closes, all hell breaks lose.
“OH MY GOD, KEVIN MOON?”
“Holy shit, I’m in the presence of a celebrity.”
“ERIC! YOUR WORDS!”
“YOUR PERFORMANCE WAS AWESOME!”
“Damn, you’re even more handsome in person.”
To say that they were loud would be an understatement, but it was comforting and familiar to Changmin, and even Kevin. Chuckling, Kevin went on to put his bag down while another trainee, probably their leader he thinks, gets everyone to sit down.
“Kevin come sit here! Let’s all introduce ourselves.” Kevin jogs and sits down, looking slightly nervous but still excited.
“Alright, let’s start doing it by age. Kevin can go last.” after a series of nods he continues.
“Okay. Hello! I’m Sangyeon. Born in 1996 and the eldest one here. My current position is leader and main vocalist. Nice to meet you.” Sangyeon started with a smile. Kevin nods his head and greets back with a bow.
“My turn! I’m Jacob! I was born in May 1997 and I’m from Toronto, Canada! Current position is lead vocalist.” Jacob chuckles cheerfully.
“Oh my God. A fellow Canadian! I’m from Canada too!” Kevin screams happily. He spoke in english so no one else understood but everyone got the gist of it, or at least Changmin did.
“That’s cool! Nice to meet you!” Jacob ended, still as shy as ever.
“Well I’m next. Name’s Younghoon. My birthday is on August 1997. Just before anyone says anything, I’m in love with bread okay? Hehe, my current position is sub vocalist and v-visual.” Younghoon stuttered at the end, still embarrassed at his current positions apparently.
“Woah no wonder you’re so handsome. Nice to meet you!” Kevin reached out to shake Younghoon’s hand, earning a smile from Younghoon.
“My turn, my name’s Hyunjae. Born in September 1997, last member in the 97’ line! My current positions are lead vocalist, lead dancer and visual.” Hyunjae finishes with a smile as Kevin greets him back.
“I’m next. I’m Juyeon. I was born in January 1998 but apparently my Chinese zodiac is still an Ox. My positions right now are main dancer, vocalist and visual.” Juyeon finishes off proudly, reaching out to shake Kevin’s hand with a smug on his face, and to no one’s surprise, Juyeon laughed out loud while calling Kevin’s hand small. Juyeon always liked to show off his big hands.
“Oh right, those three are part of the Bermuda Line! Meaning that one look at them you’ll never be able to look away again.” Changmin whispered softly into Kevin’s ear chuckling.
“That makes a lot of sense really, they’re all so handsome. But to be honest we all are so.” Kevin shrugged at the end of his sentence, earning a chuckle from himself and Changmin.
“Ahem, I think it’s my turn.” Chanhee coughed slightly to get everyone’s attention. Changmin and Kevin immediately turned their attention to him with apologetic smiles on their face.
“Okay, I’ll start. My name’s Chanhee! My stage name will be New though and I was born in April 1998. My current position is main vocalist, nice to meet you!” Chanhee ended smiling showing his cute mochi cheeks as many would call it.
“Oh, my turn! I’m Changmin! Like Chanhee I also have a stage name, Q! I was born in November 1998 and the last of the 98’ line. My current positions are main dancer and vocalist. Nice to meet you Kebin!” Changmin said reaching out for a hug, which Kevin took gratefully.
“The way you say my name is so cute by the way.” Kevin whispered in to Changmin’s ear before ending the hug, earning a small pout from Changmin. Everyone chuckled at the sight.
“Alright my turn! Name’s Haknyeon! Born in 1999 and I was a participant of Produce 101! My current positions are lead dancer, sub vocalist and rapper.” Kevin immediately covered his mouth in shock.
“No way… wow no wonder you looked so familiar! I watched all your stages they were so cool!” Kevin said with a big smile, excited. Chuckling Haknyeon thanked Kevin and told Kevin that he watched his stages too, before moving on to the next member.
“I’m next. Name’s Hyunjun and my stage name will be Hwall. Born in March 9, 2000 which is basically the same day as Haknyeon. My current positions are lead dance, lead rapper and sub vocalist.” Hwall ended with a sly smile. Chic as always, Changmin quietly thought smiling throughout the introductions.
“Me next! My name’s Sunwoo! Born in April 2000 and was part of High School Rapper hehe. Current positions are main rapper, lead dancer and sub vocalist. Nice to meet you!” Sunwoo ended with a smile, shaking Kevin’s hand, but before he could say anything Eric spoke up.
“AH FINALLY MY TURN!” Eric sighed loudly, earning a chuckle from all of us. Of course, Eric couldn’t stay still but it’s okay, we all love our maknae.
“HEY! My name’s Eric! Born in December 2000 and I came from LA! My current positions are lead dancer, lead rapper, vocalist and maknae! Nice to meet you bro!” Eric ended loudly, raising his hand for a high five, which Kevin had gladly returned with a smile. Eric introduced himself in english as well, now the group had 3 english speaking members.
“Likewise! So, I guess it’s my turn?” Kevin returned Erics greeting before asking. After a series of nods and yeses, Kevin sat back down an smiled.
“Okay! So my name is Kevin, or Hyungseo but I prefer Kevin. Uhm, I was born in February 1998 and I come from Vancouver, Canada! I also really like to draw! According to the managers and teachers my current position is main vocalist! So nice to meet you all!” Kevin greeted, earning an applause from everyone.
“Woah we have a full 98’ line that’s so cool!” Changmin said excitedly as soon as Kevin finished his introduction. After Kevin’s introduction, everyone fell into an easy conversation, talking about their interests and their soon to be debut.
Although Changmin could be loud at times, he took this time to look at each member affection blooming at the sight. Though still slightly nervous of the future, he never told anyone of his separation anxiety. They didn’t need to know he thought. But then again, he was never the one to share is truest inner feelings to everyone anyways, and they were a big group there was no way he’d be alone.
Changmin’s separation anxiety first started when he was kidnapped while playing the the playground alone. His sisters were at the bench eating and talking to each other instead of watching little Changmin the entire time. No one could complain though, the playground was huge and the place was relatively safe anyways. So when the two girls decided to head home, they were horrified after not finding Changmin in the playground, yet his favorite stuffed toy is left on the ground.
Running towards the police station, one sister spoke with the security guard about the kidnapping while the other called their parents. Luckily, the kidnapper wasn’t aware of the CCTVs in the playground and they were able to identify him immediately. It took almost 2 days searching for the kidnapper until finally they found him and Changmin in an old rusty apartment around the corner. Little Changmin just ran up crying to his family at the sight of them while the police took hold of the kidnapper, and ever since Changmin’s been extremely scared to be alone.
The memory still sends shivers down Changmin’s spine. Quietly, he looked down at his hands to find them slightly shaking. Cursing under his breath, he tried his hardest to stop it and ease his anxiety a bit. Leaving his family had been hard and extremely challenging, but at the reminder of him living his dreams and his sister’s assistance, he pushed through. Once Hyunjae had signed up to be under Loen (the company they first signed in to) he started to feel much better.
Changmin must’ve been spacing out for a while, because suddenly a hand from his left comes into contact with his hands. Jerking slightly, he went to look to the owner’s hands, which happened to be Chanhee.
“Hey, you okay? You were shaking for a bit..” Chanhee whispered lowly, the chatter in the background distracting everyone else from the two of them. Instead, Changmin smiled. Of course Chanhee would’ve noticed it, he’s Chanhee for crying out loud.
“Yeah I’m okay. Just remembered some bad memories, nothing much.” Changmin said with a smile, hoping it would convince Chanhee. Eyeing the other, Chanhee sighed and said a quick ‘okay’ before putting his attention back to the conversation with Kevin, deciding not to push further.
Changmin wasn’t lying. For now he’s okay, he has 11 other great friends to be with for the next 7 years. He smiled at everyone before the choreographer clapped his hands, gaining their attention.
“Alright everyone! Let’s start!”
≿————- ❈ ————-≾
They were finally recording the last episode of Flower Snack. They were told to take turns recording a 5 word poetry per member, but which member was assigned to which member was kept as a secret until they entered the recording room.
“Jacob-hyung! Your turn!” Sunwoo called out the Jacob as he entered the dance practice room. Immediately, Jacob stood up and walked out the room excitedly. He soon made it to the recording room’s entrance, the manager told him to to make a 5 word poetry describing Changmin. Nodding Jacob carefully made his way into the recording room with a smile.
“Q is… a handsome and cute guy.” Jacob started, as he continued to explain more about Changmin’s duality. While dancing, Changmin was handsome and extremely powerful, but at home or when he’s fooling around he’s cute.
“He must hold on to something when he walks, so he always has his hands on someone’s shoulder or holding hands.” Jacob continued before ending his turn. Closing the door to the recording room, the manager asked his to look for Changmin for his turn. After greeting goodbye to the manager, Jacob jogged back to the practice room to get Changmin.
“Changmin-ah! It’s your turn!” Jacob screamed over the noise, eyes searching for the smaller boy. Soon enough, he found Changmin lying down on Chanhee’s lap, probably laughing about a joke they shared or something. Jacob knelt down beside Chanhee, earning the attention of the both boys.
“Changmin-ah it’s your turn to record.” Jacob said softly, smiling at the boy. Nodding he got up from Chanhee’s lap and stood up. But before Jacob could walk away, Changmin held onto his hand stopping him in his tracks.
“Changmin?” Jacob asked lowly, a little concerned since Changmin’s head was hanging low.
“Uhm, is it okay if you come with me to the recording room hyung? I like being with you guys a lot!” Changmin asked the first part shyly, but was more happier and earnest at the latter. Relieved, Jacob agreed and walked with Changmin to the recording room, holding hands of course.
“Thank you hyung! I’ll be back soon!” Changmin said as he hugged Jacob before entering the recording room. To be fully honest, Changmin was still slightly nervous about being alone in the room, but he knew their manager was just waiting outside.
‘You can do this Changmin. It’ll be quick, and you can run back to them.’ he thought to himself quietly before gathering himself and smiled at the camera. Luckily, things went well and he was able to say everything he wanted quickly. He quickly stood up after watching his message again over once to leave the room.
But instead of finding the manager outside the door he was alone. A flash of panic went through Changmin, because he was alone. He didn’t know where his manager was. His members were all in the practice room, but what if something happens to him or them before he gets there?
Vaguely, he remembered that he was still being filmed from the CCTV on the wall. With weak knees and shaky hands, he mustered his best smiled and turned towards the camera.
“End! That’s the end!” Changmin said with his biggest smile, waving his hands to disguise his anxiety on the camera. As soon as he was sure he was out of the camera’s view, Changmin sprinted as fast and quietly as he could towards the practice room. Thankfully the practice room and recording room were close, so he was able to see the room within seconds. Once he made it to the door, he couldn’t help be tear up in relief at the sounds of voices and laughter inside the room.
Signing, Changmin quietly leaned his head on the door, sliding down as the adrenaline leaves his body. He let his tears fall as he tried to ground himself with his members’ voices and calm his heart beat. They were alright. They’re all just joking around in the practice room. Everyone’s there, it’s okay. I’m okay.
He quietly continued to whisper small reassurances to himself, a habit he’s developed whenever he grew anxious at times like this. Luckily, it does help calm Changmin down when his anxiety isn’t as bad. Still hyperaware of his surroundings, he heard footsteps coming from his right. He didn’t know who it was, but he prayed that if he kept quiet he’d be alright. I have to be. I can’t show them. I’m okay.
“Changmin? What are you doing?” Juyeon asked, voice laced with sudden concern at the sight of his fellow dancer. He had just come from the bathroom, but when he had been walking back to the practice room, he found Changmin crouching in front of the door with his hands over his ears.
“Oh, I got a small headache for a second. Nothing much!” Changmin immediately looked up from his initial position smiling at his friend. Juyeon chuckled at Changmin, giving him a smile. He was slightly eased by the reason but still hid his concern for the other
“Let’s go inside Juyo?” Changmin asked reaching for Juyeon’s hand. Juyeon smiled at this, typical Changmin, always cute and clingy, sometimes annoying but he still loves his Changmin. Accepting Changmin’s invitation, they held hands as they entered the practice room together.
Although Changmin shrugged it off as a headache, Juyeon couldn’t shake the unease he felt when he found Changmin on the floor. He’s pretty sure that you wouldn’t normally close your ears tightly when you get a headache, and your hands most definitely don’t shake but he was sure Changmin had his reasons and didn’t push any further.
Changmin couldn’t help but feel guilty for lying to Juyeon, but he didn’t want anyone to know. He knows it’d be bad for him, but it’ll be okay. No one needed to know, as long as they were together.
Until they weren’t…
≿————- ❈ ————-≾
“Hwall, is something wrong?”
It was just the 12 of them practicing when Changmin brought up the question. At times like this where their choreographer couldn’t come, Changmin would often take of the dance practice. While leading, he had seen Hwall tripping and looking pained at some movements for the past half hour, it was getting worrying.
“U-uh… no?” Hwall stuttered at the sudden question. Changmin though wasn’t convinced.
They’ve been learning the choreography for their upcoming comeback, Giddy Up and Changmin’s been noticing Hwall limping often after dance practice. This concerned him, but whenever he tried approaching the younger, he would shrug it off and say he’s fine before leaving. Maybe Changmin’s overreacting, or maybe he isn’t, but he isn’t risking the health of one of his members — his family — for a dance. Knowing well that they could take a day or two of rest if needed.
“You’ve been tripping since earlier, and it looks like something’s paining you. Please don’t lie.” Changmin continued, his eyes softening in sympathy. Now all the members were looking at Hwall, worried looks on their faces. Sangyeon eyed Hwall, the latter looking down and fiddling with his hands with all his weight on one foot. Sangyeon had observed this earlier as well but thought it was just a bad day for the younger, but having Changmin pointing it out was scary, the dancer had always had a keen eye for these events.
“Hwall, it’s okay if something is paining you. You know that right? We won’t hate you for anything..” Sangyeon tried approaching Hwall with a gentler approach. He just wanted to make sure Hwall was alright before getting back to practicing for their upcoming comeback.
“… m-my ankle’s b-been hurting.. a lot…” Hwall muttered so quietly that no one heard, except for Changmin who had been standing beside him. While everyone else were trying to get Hwall to say it again, to Changmin it felt like everything around him stopped. Hwall was hurting. But while Changmin noticed it earlier, he should’ve pushed Hwall more. Get Hwall to sit out practices when he looked more pained. It was his fault. He knew and he didn’t do anything. What if he leaves? Oh God, what if he has to be hospitalized? What if-
“Changmin-hyung?” Hwall tugged on Changmin’s sleeve, trying to get the other’s attention. To say that he was concerned would be an understatement, as he watched his hyung shake and sweat from his answer. He knew Changmin had a habit of spacing out, but this time, he was spaced out with wide eyes, with one of his hands scratching the back of the other, a habit Changmin had developed whenever he was nervous.
“A-ah… yeah sorry.” Changmin broke out of his daze a second later, ceasing all movements and leaving his hands on his sides. “I don’t know what got over me.” Changmin continued with a sheepish smile, acting as if nothing had happened.
“Okay, anyways.. Hwall let’s get you checked up first? Yeah? I’ll come with you don’t worry.” Sangyeon continued after Changmin had apologized. Changmin had concerned him but he needed to put Hwall first, who had openly admitted that he was in pain. “I think we should call it a day. We still have over a month before the comeback so I’m sure a day off wouldn’t hurt.” Sangyeon continued before anyone could protest.
Nodding, everyone left to gather and carry their stuff before walking back to their dorm. While everyone was doing so, Sangyeon quickly pulled Kevin aside.
“What’s up hyung?” Kevin asked, a small smile on his face. Sangyeon smiled back, not knowing where to start. Kevin waited patiently for Sangyeon to organize his thoughts, the recent events is shocking after all.
“It’s about Changmin… could you check on him when you get back to the dorms Kevin-ah?” Sangyeon asked, looking at Kevin directly in the eyes. Listening, Kevin’s face became an expression of understanding. Everyone had witnessed Changmin’s little spacing out episode earlier and was concerned for their main dancer.
“Of course hyung, was planning to already anyways.” Kevin replied, putting a hand over Sangyeon’s shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze. It was moments like these, where he truly loved and appreciated his members. Sure they were a group, but not all groups work well together. But Sangyeon trusted and loved his members very much, he was willing to do anything for them.
“Kebin! You coming?” a familiar voice rang through their ears. Before leaving, Kevin hugged and wished Sangyeon luck with Hwall before bouncing off to Changmin and Chanhee outside the practice room.
“Here! Let’s go home!” Kevin said as he jumped onto Changmin’s back, making the latter lose his balance.
“WOA- careful Kebin!” Changmin laughed playfully, as he carefully let Kevin down.
“Let’s go home!” Changmin went to hold both Chanhee and Kevin’s hand, before leading them to the exit. While this was normal Changmin behavior, after seeing what had occurred just moments before worried Kevin. Anxious, he let his gaze reach Chanhee’s eyes, only worry shown in his expression as Changmin walks ahead with their hands in his. They had no idea what could happen, but if it was for Changmin, they’d do anything.
By the time they had reached the dorm, Changmin was already yawning as he dragged his feet into the dorm, still holding on to Kevin and Chanhee’s hands. Since their rooms were connected, Chanhee decided to hold on to Changmin until the latter let go. But it was only when the younger had to put down his bags did he let go of their hands.
Before leaving, Chanhee shared a glance at Kevin while the younger was still fixing his stuff. ‘Call me if you need help’ Chanhee mouthed at Kevin before turning his back to head to his room.
“Don’t forget to bathe Minnie! You’re sweaty..” Chanhee teased lightly before leaving to go to his shared room with Eric, leaving a pouty Changmin behind. The members had only started calling Changmin, Minnie recently in the dorm only, and in all honestly it made their dorm feel even more homey. But now that Kevin was alone with Changmin, he didn’t know how to approach the other at first. How do you even start a conversation about something that could be rather private. The opening of the door shook him out of his thoughts, with Changmin about to leave for the shower. Kevin couldn’t prolong it, Changmin might start shrugging it off if he didn’t bring it up now.
“Minnie! Do you have a minute?” turning around, Changmin met Kevin’s gaze, eyes soft and unknowing.
“Kebin? What’s up?” Kevin had to hold in a giggle at Changmin’s tiny english, it was cute how Changmin tried his best to reply to Kevin in english whenever he could. But that was for another time, he had more important matters to attend to.
“Come sit here Minnie, I wanna ask you something.” without hesitation, Changmin closed the door and sat next to Kevin on his bed, his eyes filled with affection and a slight bit of concern for Kevin.
“Are you okay Keb?” Changmin continued in english, slightly anxious after hearing the serious tone Kevin had used earlier.
“A-ah yeah I am. I wanted to ask you if you were feeling better.”
“Feeling better? From what?”
But Changmin already knew what was about to be brought up, and that knowledge made Changmin shake slightly from anxiety. Kevin monitored Changmin’s every movement, his hands were holding each other a bit more tightly than usual, his left leg was bouncing, and he was biting his lips. The younger sure was nervous about this, while he was good at hiding his feelings, his actions often said otherwise, much to Changmin’s despise.
“About what happened earlier, and don’t act like you don’t know I can tell you’re nervous so just tell me what’s up. We’re all worried for you Minnie.” Changmin, not knowing any better, quickly hugged and held onto Kevin as tight as he could. He didn’t know why, but Kevin bringing this up made him extremely nervous as the latter often spoke with Jacob and Jacob reports lots of things to Sangyeon, which would then be replayed on to the managers, then the company. The company couldn’t know, they’d kick him out of the team. He’ll end up being a burden to all of them. He’ll lose them…
Still holding onto Kevin, Changmin felt his eyes water and no matter how much he tried, he couldn’t keep the tears in. Blinking once, twice, his tears started falling and Changmin felt his breathing become heavy and labored, a start of a panic attack starting to overcome him as he held on to the older.
“Shhh… it’s alright Minnie.. just breathe..” Kevin although, in a way, expected this to happen and allowed Changmin to cry into his shirt him. Slowly, he put his arms around the younger not wanting to overwhelm him so suddenly, burying his head onto his neck while muffling cries, whispering comforting words into the dancer’s ears. He then took Changmin’s and slowly pried the younger’s hands off of his shirt, which didn’t work out. While the dancer didn’t seem as build compared to Hyunjae or Sangyeon, Changmin was still extremely strong, and his grip on Kevin’s shirt was proof of that.
“Kevin are yo- wait what’s wrong?!” and bless the god’s above for Chanhee’s presence.
“Kinda need some help, Changmin’s having an attack he can’t breathe and I can’t get him to let go of me.” Kevin said quite quickly, panic heard in his voice. At this, Chanhee rushed to sit beside his best friend’s side and gave Changmin a hug from behind.
“Min, I need you to breathe okay? I know you can feel my breathing follow it.” Chanhee whispered into the younger’s ear, tightening the hug allowing Changmin to feel his breathing. Slowly but surely, the younger’s breathing slowly started to even out, and his grip on Kevin’s shirt started to weaken. Kevin was rather taken aback at this. Chanhee’s movements showed so much delicacy and practiced care, it was as if he knew what was needed to be done.
Kevin silently observed Chanhee and did his best to mirror his movements, supporting the dancer from the front, patting his hair and staying silent, waiting silently for Changmin.
Like Kevin thought, this wasn’t the first time Chanhee’s seen Changmin go through a panic attack. The first time it happened was after a particularly long and difficult vocal practice the younger had, he had received lots of criticisms and nothing went the way he had wanted. After the two hour long session, his teacher had dismissed him with a wave telling him he needed to improve lots before his debut. Afterwards, Changmin stayed back in the company, working up slowly with the comments his teacher gave without minding the time.
Once his gaze did go over the clock, his heart dropped at the time, and he was almost sure that everyone else would’ve left the company, which meant that he was alone. Unknowingly, Chanhee was passing by just as Changmin had left the room, with the latter’s gaze on the floor. While Chanhee was worried for the younger already, he did not expect Changmin to collapse and have an attack at the given moment. Chanhee wouldn’t ever forget that terrifying moment of the dancer shaking and sobbing uncontrollably, but at least now he has some some knowledge about what Changmin preferred and disliked during these times. For instance, physical touch was more than welcomed with the younger, and he hated being being pushed away and always needed to hold on to someone.
“Min, are you okay?” Chanhee asked after a period of time. Changmin’s eyes were fluttering and his he can feel him slowly become limp in his arms.
“Was worried… about Hyunjoonie… sorry..” Changmin collapsed soon after, the attack draining all his strength, leaving Chanhee to carry his weight while Kevin supported him from the front.
“Alright Minnie. Get some sleep, I’m sure Hyunjoonie will be fine. He’s strong.” Kevin’s eyes noticeably softened at the dancer’s words, understanding the sentiment. Of course Changmin would be worried, their Changmin who had worked hard and persevered so much to debut, their Changmin who cares plenty for their members even though he teases them, their Changmin who always watches out for them was worried for Hwall.
Quickly, they laid the dancer down as softly as possible as to not disturb his sleep, which was much easier to Kevin’s surprise, he was light as a feather. Silently he took a peek at Chanhee’s face, which was showing nothing but concern for the younger, something tells Kevin that this wasn’t the first time this had happened.
With Changmin laying down, asleep, Chanhee quietly spoke up.
“Kevin, can you come with me for a sec?”
Nodding, Kevin silently followed Chanhee to his bedroom. Their bedroom was a conjoined room with his and Changmin’s so it didn’t take much time to get there. Luckily, Eric was currently eating and watching television in the living room, leaving the two alone in Chanhee’s room. Chanhee invited Kevin to sit down on his bed while he locked the door before following the older and sitting next to him.
“So? What’s up?”
“It’s about Minnie… would you listen?” Kevin had expected this, especially after the gaze that had been shown on Chanhee’s face earlier.
“You don’t have to ask you know? Of course I’d listen.” Kevin replied with a smile. At this Chanhee looked up at the older with a slightly shocked, before it morphing to a much softer expression giving a small chuckle, before turning serious again, with Kevin mirroring his expression.
“So, I could guess that you can guess that this wasn’t the first time this happened… nor that it was my first time seeing it..”
“Ah… yeah it did seem like you had experience with this..” Kevin chuckled, lightening the mood just a bit. “Could you tell me why?”
“Hmm… the first time was because of a really bad vocal practice late at night, and the second time was when he was sick and he had to stay back in the dorm. This is the third time it happened…” Chanhee said solemnly, eyes on the ground not daring to look up at Kevin with unshed tears in his eyes. Leaning forward, with his elbows on his knees and with his hands together, he hung his head down.
“I have a guess on why. Do you mind?” Chanhee immediately looked up at Kevin, taken aback at Kevin’s sudden declaration. Kevin took this as a yes and continued.
“Before coming here, I did get into UBC for Psychology and I did read lots so I know a bit. But, I think Changmin may have separation anxiety.” Kevin paused to observe Chanhee’s expression. The younger’s eyes opened wide in surprise, mouth aghast as he processed the information. Kevin waited patiently for Chanhee to absorb everything before continuing, the younger always liked to have things to the point but he does have his difficulties when its news like this.
“H-how did you know?” Chanhee asked after a while, his features relaxed yet eyes serious. He’s been concerned for Changmin for a while, it pained him to see him suffer, but the latter never said anything to him.
“Just to confirm, when you found him after the vocal lesson, was there anyone else in the company?”
“Uh… no not that I know of. It was way past working hours during our trainee days but I came because I forgot my phone in the vocal room, that’s where I found Changmin.”
“Alright then it most likely will be separation anxiety. Separation anxiety means that someone gets extremely anxious and nervous when alone, one of the symptoms of this is panic attacks.”
“But that’s just one of the symptoms… it could be other ones too..”
“I know but let me know if any of these are true. Does he show excessive distress when he’s going the be left alone? For example, if there you and Changmin were alone together, would he ask to come with you do he won’t be alone in the room?”
“Yes… he does.”
“Okay, next. Does he worry a lot about kidnapping cases? I know there’s been a few cases especially in our area recently, has he spoken to you about it? Because he’s talked to me about staying safe.”
“He did.. he told me to never leave alone and to call him if I wanted to go somewhere late at night.”
“Alright, now for the last one. But has he ever shown worry for anyone who was seriously sick? I don’t know much about his personal life but…”
“Yeah there was a time… his sister got into an accident and he was worried sick.”
“Then based from these he does probably have separation anxiety. I already know he has nightmares about being alone in the dark when he’s asleep sometimes. But then again I’m not a professional, it’d be best to ask him directly.” Chanhee was horrified at the news. His own best friend… had separation anxiety, and even worse, Changmin didn’t tell anyone about it, especially him. Did he not trust him enough? Did he not trust the other members enough?
“Hee… are you okay?” Kevin gently shook Chanhee out of his stupor gaining the latter’s attention.
“Y-yeah.. it’s just a bit shocking…”
“Don’t blame yourself too much though Hee, it’s not your fault, it’s none of our fault. Minnie obviously didn’t want to tell anyone.” Chanhee could only sigh and nod at this. It was always like that. Changmin always taking too much for his small shoulders to bear, never coming to anyone for help and always solving everything on his own, all the while helping and leading the team when needed. Chanhee chuckled,
“Yep, that’s our Minnie alright.” Kevin sighed in relief, Chanhee took this better than he thought. He turned to Chanhee.
“Hey Hee, will you talk to Minnie about this?” Chanhee took a deep breath.
“Yeah, I will… after he showers though.” this earned a chuckle from Kevin. Chanhee was right, maybe it was about time they confronted Changmin about this. Especially if it was something this serious.
≿————- ❈ ————-≾
“He’ll be alright…”
“He’s been asleep for 2 hours already…”
Changmin was roused from his sleep by soft whispers and slender fingers running through his hair. The touch was so gently that it reminded him of his mother’s when he was sick. If it wasn’t for the soft hushed whispers above him he would’ve thought that he was alone.
Changmin let out a small grumble, pitch whiney, as he fluttered his eyelids open, causing the hand to stop its ministrations. A sweet chuckle ran above him, filling the dancer with a comforting warmth as turned around to face the gazes of Chanhee and Kevin.
“Hi Minnie.” Kevin greeted softly, his warm tone encouraging the younger to fully open his eyes. Changmin blinked slowly with Chanhee’s hands massaging the younger’s temples, the room gradually swam into focus. They were alone in the bedroom. The other members were most probably out in the living room, as he could hear their chatter through the thin walls.
“Hi Keb… Hi Hee.” Changmin greeted back quietly as he took Chanhee’s hands in his and burying his face into the pillow. Kevin smiled at the sight, glad that Changmin was able to sleep without any nightmares this time around. Chanhee gently took back his hand from Changmin’s, much to the younger’s despise, and softly placed his hand on Changmin’s cheek.
“How are you feeling? Tired?” Chanhee asked gingerly, hands never stopping its tender ministrations.
Changmin shook his head, “Nah… I’m okay.”
“Then if you don’t mind, could you shower? You kinda stink..” Changmin let out a chuckle at this.
“Sure, I’ll go. Be back.”
“You want company?” Chanhee asked. They were 12 boys in the group with 2 bathrooms so of course they’ve seen each other naked already.
“No I’m good… thanks, I’ll be back in a bit.” Changmin said as he waved off and exited the room to the bathroom, leaving Kevin and Chanhee in the bedroom. The 2 vocalists decided to help change Changmin’s sheets since he did sleep in it sweaty. Chanhee went to place the new sheets while Kevin took the sheets to the laundry, passing by the members, reassuring them that they were okay. Kevin had given them a brief idea of what could be happening but didn’t specify anything about separation anxiety, he wanted to respect Changmin’s privacy.
By the time Kevin returned back from the laundry room, Changmin had returned from his shower with Chanhee blow drying the younger’s hair so he wouldn’t get sick, it was still rather cold and the dancer was always sensitive towards the cold. Kevin’s heart warmed at the sight, he had always enjoyed it when everyone was home and domestic. The nicknames and the intimacy between the members behind closed doors away from the camera never failed to make Kevin feel like home. He didn’t realize he was close to tears until Chanhee called him out.
“Kevin? Are you okay?” Kevin looked back at the two, the hair dryer discarded on the side with Chanhee brushing Changmin’s hair, the duo looking at Kevin with worried gazes.
“Ah yeah sorry… seeing you guys made me feel like I was home and I got emotional. Don’t mind me.” Kevin smiled as he approached Changmin’s bed.
Chanhee smiled, “Of course Kev, you’re part of this family too.”
Changmin made grabby hands at Kevin, asking for the older for a hug. Kevin happily complied and reached into Changmin’s embrace. Changmin was warm, gentle, and kind, he almost couldn’t believe that the younger might be suffering from separation anxiety. Slowly, he released the hug, and simultaneously Chanhee had finished brushing the dancer’s hair sitting beside them.
“Min… can I ask you a question.” Chanhee asked quietly, taking Changmin’s hands and playing with it.
“Hm? Of course you can, what is it?” Changmin replied, confused at Chanhee’s actions and tone.
Chanhee took a deep breath, “Minnie… do you have separation anxiety? Be honest please.”
Changmin froze. “What?”
“Do you have separation anxiety?” Kevin repeated the question gently, taking Changmin’s other hand. It’d be best if he doesn’t scratch himself out of nervousness, he didn’t want Changmin’s hands to get any worse.
“I- wha-… h-how did you know?” with Changmin’s head hung low, Chanhee and Kevin can feel his trembling hands, but his words had just confirmed it. He has separation anxiety and the 2 vocalists’ heart broke a little at the news.
“I observed a few symptoms of it, and Hee confirmed some of it for me too. Basically, I’ve observed that when Hee first saw you experiencing a panic attack in the company, there was no one else in the company so you were alone and that would’ve set so many alarms in you. This is also evident that whenever you’re alone with someone else, you would ask to join the other so you wouldn’t be left alone.” Kevin paused, quietly observing Changmin’s reaction as he explained and as far as he can see the younger’s head was still hung low but his hands have stopped trembling, so he continued.
“You’ve also been really on edge with the recent kidnapping cases, and you have nightmares about being alone in the dark. Finally, you were terrified when your sister got into an accident… These are symptoms of separation anxiety so I thought it would be the case, but really I’m glad you told the truth.” Kevin continued slowly, his tone tender and concerned for the other who has now relaxed in his hold. It was relieving that Changmin wasn’t trembling anymore but his head was still hung low, he couldn’t see the latter’s expression, that worried Kevin.
“Hey Minnie, look at me?” Chanhee gently coaxed Changmin to look up, using his free hand to reach up to the younger’s face, brining his gaze to meet Chanhee.
Another part of Chanhee broke at the sight. Changmin had tears rolling down his face endlessly. His eyes only showed pain and fear, nothing left to mask the pain he felt. The big sunshine smile of his nowhere to be found, as the younger continued to cry and whimper. Chanhee had never seen so much vulnerability on his best friend’s face. He knew that the younger had the tendency to solve everything on his own, but watching him cry now made him wonder how much pain he had been hiding behind his smile. Quietly, Chanhee moved his fingers to wipe away Changmin’s tears, Kevin mirroring his actions, always making sure to keep one of his hands holding Changmin’s.
“You’re not… mad?”
“Minnie, why on earth would be mad at you?” Kevin gently took the younger into his arms, moving to allow Changmin to sit on his lap with his face on his nape and Kevin’s hands on Changmin’s face. In this position, Kevin observed how smaller the other looked, and how light he felt on his legs. Kevin frowned, Changmin hasn’t been eating then he guessed. While the younger didn’t do it on purpose, Changmin still had the tendency to skip meals and instead practice the routines till dawn, forgetting about his own needs. We need to eat after this.
“That I have separation anxiety… wouldn’t that hinder you? Be-because I can’t stand being alone…” Changmin had barely muttered the last part, but still both Kevin and Chanhee were able to catch it, they warmed a bit inside.
“Being around you will never be a hindrance to us Minnie, we love being with you! I’d say we’re more mad that you didn’t say anything sooner.” Chanhee replied, lightly teasing Changmin making the other giggle.
“Hehe, I’m sorry… I was scared.”
“It’s okay Minnie.” Chanhee moved to sit beside Kevin, letting Changmin rest his legs on Chanhee’s, with the vocalist taking the dancer’s hands into his own.
The trio stayed like that for a while, giving Changmin small but heartfelt reassurances whenever the younger would whimper. Occasionally, Kevin would peck kisses behind Changmin’s ear as he whispered words of admiration towards the younger, thanking whatever being there is up there that had let him meet the dancer. Chanhee then moved and nuzzled his face in the Changmin’s arms, gaining the younger’s attention. Smiling, Chanhee looked up and peppered Changmin’s face to urge the younger to calm down and relax. Within the next few minutes, Changmin had stopped crying and sat there accepting all the love and reassurance he got from his fellow tigerz, until they heard a knock.
“Come in.” Changmin said, voice a bit strained from the crying session just a few minutes prior. Quietly, the door opened to reveal Sunwoo.
“Hi hyung… do you mind if I come in?” Sunwoo asked playing with his fingers, anxious that he could’ve messed up their moment.
“Yeah, come sit here.” Changmin replied, inviting the younger to sit on his bed. Kevin and Chanhee moved to the side, giving Sunwoo space to sit beside Changmin. Wordlessly, Sunwoo shut the door quietly and made his way to the bed, but instead of sitting next to Changmin, Sunwoo straddled Changmin and hugged the dancer as tight as he could, as if Changmin was going to disappear.
“S-Sun? Are you okay?” Changmin asked, startled at the rapper’s sudden behavior. Sunwoo smiled softly at the nickname Changmin had let out.
“Min… are you okay?” Sunwoo knew something was up ever since Changmin had his episode in the practice room, but decided to leave it to Kevin and Chanhee first before the rest of the group. The chatter in the living room had long since died since Kevin had re-entered the room with new sheets. Despite the vocalist’s reassurances, Sunwoo couldn’t help but worry for the older.
Changmin stilled at Sunwoo’s words, unsure whether or not he wanted to tell the others about this so suddenly. Instinctively, he pushed his back towards Chanhee, trying his best to find comfort in his best friends touch. Chanhee responded to this easily and took Changmin’s hand giving it a gentle squeeze getting Changmin’s attention.
“It’ll be alright Minnie.” Chanhee encouraged the dancer, giving him a small smile and nudging him back towards Sunwoo, who was patiently waiting for Changmin, sitting still in his lap giving Changmin time. Sunwoo knew that the dancer often needed time to process and organize his thoughts, and from Chanhee’s words, he guessed that this was a rather serious topic.
The room stilled in silence for a moment, before Changmin spoke up, looking directly into Sunwoo’s eyes, “Sun, is it okay if we move to the living room? I want everyone in the team to know.”
Sunwoo softly smiled, nodding at Changmin’s request and getting up from his lap and standing up before lending his hand to the older, to which he had greatly, with both Kevin and Chanhee following just behind them. Still holding on to Changmin, Sunwoo opened the door, the sound alerting everyone of their presence causing all conversation between the members to halt. Startled, Changmin stopped, feeling uneasy with everyone’s gazes on them. Noticing this, Sunwoo rubbed his thumb over Changmin’s hand, making sure to put lighter pressure on the light scratch marks over the back of the dancer’s hand — a small reminder of his episode earlier that day — and tugged the dancer towards an empty spot on the couch.
Together, the four settled down on the couch, the other members sensing that something was up and gave them space to sit together. The other members decided to huddle around, keeping each other close trying to provide as much support towards Changmin especially. They had all noticed how Changmin was hesitating, and how nervous the dancer was upon his entry, and they all wordlessly decided to be patient and wait for Changmin.
After a few silent, yet comforting minutes, Changmin quietly spoke up, “Hey guys… I have something to tell you.”
“Sure, what is it Minnie?” Jacob responded lightly, trying to ease the younger’s nerves a bit.
Gulping, Changmin bowed his head low and shut his eyes closed, “I’ll be direct. I have separation anxiety.”
Silence. The room stilled at Changmin’s sudden confession, and Changmin just continued to stay quiet and kept his head low, fearing other’s reaction. It was a mistake. I shouldn’t have said anything. It would’ve been better if I kept quiet. They’re gonna ha-
“Minnie, is that all?”
Changmin whipped his head towards Sangyeon’s voice, shock shown clearly in his face. “Huh?”
“Minnie… if you think we’d hate you over something like that, you’re gonna have to try harder.” Jacob replied, smiling at the younger. But still, Changmin just continued to stare at him with wide eyes, not yet fully processing his words.
Without making any sounds, Juyeon slowly stood up from his place on the floor and made his way to Changmin, who didn’t notice Juyeon’s presence and was still looking at Jacob. Juyeon proceeded to sit in front of Changmin, taking the younger’s hands which caused the younger to flinch in surprise. After gaining Changmin’s attention, Juyeon took a moment to study his face, lifting a hand to run his fingers over the younger’s features.
“J-Juyo… wha- what are you doing?”
“Minnie, I think I can speak for the group with this one, but we will never hate you for something like that.” Juyeon paused and took a moment to look at the reactions of the members sitting beside Changmin. Changmin was sitting still, mouth still aghast eyes focused on Juyeon and no one else. Chanhee was sitting together with Kevin, with the older leaning his head on Chanhee’s shoulders, smiling sweetly towards Eric and Haknyeon’s direction as the other two were cuddling while listening intently to his words to Changmin. Sunwoo was just quietly listening, placing one of his hands on Changmin’s thigh quietly giving support.
Juyeon continued, “I thought we all talked about this together already, but we love every single part of you. We love your strengths, your amazing dance skills and voice. We your beauty, your fashion and your dimple. And most of all, we love your flaws.”
Younghoon stood up from his place with Sangyeon and Jacob and made his way towards Changmin, placing a hand on his shoulder, “We all love your flaws Min. The struggle you have when you try to open up. The instinct you have to solve everything on your own. Every single time you had a bad day, we still loved it. And you having separation anxiety? That’s just another thing for us to love about you. We love you Minnie.”
As soon as Changmin heard those last 4 words, tears welled up in Changmin’s eyes. He couldn’t count how many times he’s cried today, but he couldn’t be any more thankful for group members.
“Thank you… thank you so much… thank you” Changmin couldn’t help but keep repeating his thanks for his members as they all gathered around him and held him tight. Together they cuddled on the couch, staying silent and calmly waited for Changmin’s cries to die down.
“Don’t forget, you have to tell Hyunjoon too Min.” Eric teased when Changmin had calmed down, even making the older laugh.
“Hehe yeah, I’ll tell him don’t worry.”
≿————- ❈ ————-≾
Fast forward to D.D.D. era…
“Guys… I’m leaving the group.”
Everyone froze, not quite processing what Hyunjoon had said, “What do you mean… Hyunjoonie?”
“Please don’t make this harder… I’m leaving the group. I’ve talked to the managers and my doctors already, it’s for the better.”
No one dared to move after Hyunjoon had spoken. They were just celebrating after successfully finishing their Asia and Europe tour in their dorm, no one expected this to happen so quickly. Sure they’ve all witnessed Hyunjoon struggling to dance on his ankle during the tour, but they didn’t think much of it until now.
“If it’ll help you recover Hyunjoonie, then go ahead.” Sangyeon had quietly replied, voice shaky as he tried to hold in his tears.
“I agree… as long as it’s your decision, I’ll respect that. We love you so so much Hyunjoon please don’t forget that.” Haknyeon continued, reaching to put his glass down and moving to give the younger a hug, everyone following him, encasing Hyunjoon in a group hug. Tears welled up in Hyunjoon’s eyes.
“I’m sorry… I’m so so sorry… thank you for allowing me.. I love you all so much.” Hyunjoon said as he cried softly in their embrace, savoring the warmth of his members before he needed to leave. He was going to miss this, he really was, but he knew this would be better, for both him and the group.
After a few more moments in their embrace, Hyunjoon faintly tugged on them signaling that he had to go. Reluctantly everyone let go of him, except for one.
“Minnie… please let go, I have to leave the train’s gonna leave.” this only caused Changmin too shake his head and hold Hyunjoon tighter. Hyunjoon’s heart quenched at the older’s actions, he knew about Changmin’s separation anxiety and kinda guessed that this would happen, but despite his soft requests and attempts to pry Changmin off of him, the dancer only held on tighter.
“Minnie, come on… Hyunjoon needs to leave. Please let him go.” Juyeon had gently tugged Changmin, trying to encourage the younger to let go. Everyone stood there, watching it all unfold. After what Hyunjoon had said, it was no surprise that Changmin wanted to cling onto the younger.
“Hyunjoonie… do you really have to go? Will you be okay?” Changmin muffled into Hyunjoon’s shirt, his face buried in the younger’s chest. Changmin knew it was for Hyunjoon’s well-being, but he was scared about the younger leaving. He didn’t want him to leave.
“I’ll be fine Minnie… I’ll stay with my family while I recover first, then I’ll find another job. Don’t worry so much okay? I’ll update you constantly.” Hyunjoon reassured, prying Changmin off to look directly into his eyes, hoping that his feelings will be able to reach Changmin.
Timidly, Changmin let go of Hyunjoon, looking down at his hands before looking back at Hyunjoon, a small smile adorning his face, “Alright Hyunjoonie. Take care.”
Changmin closed in on Hyunjoon, hugged him and pressed his lips on Hyunjoon’s, giving the younger a short yet longing kiss. “I love you.”
Blushing, Hyunjoon smiled and turned his back to the group, getting ready to leave, for good.
“Guess this is goodbye?”
“Never goodbye Hyunjoonie… just see you later.” Hyunjae replied smiling sadly at Hyunjoon. Happy with the answer, Hyunjoon turned his back to the group and left the dorm. Together, members waved Hyunjoon goodbye and wished him safe travels and health, promising to meet up again with him some day.
As soon as Hyunjoon is out of their sight, they closed the door solemnly walked back to the living room, but while walking back, Changmin collapses.
“CHANGMIN!” Chanhee screamed as Changmin collapsed, luckily onto Hyunjae’s arms who was able to catch the younger before he had fallen down on the wooden floor.
“Minnie? Hey Minnie? What’s wrong?” Hyunjae asked in a panic, gently settling him and Changmin down. After settling himself down first, Hyunjae then prepped Changmin and held him bride style, never flinching when Changmin grabbed and held on to his shirt as tightly as he could. Hyunjae then tenderly placed Changmin’s head on his chest, using one hand to pat the younger’s head while using the other to keep him from falling.
“Minnie, you’re shaking so much.” Hyunjae said as everyone else kneeled down, everyone putting a hand on Changmin, giving him quiet comfort and letting their dancer know, that he isn’t alone now. This wasn’t their first time seeing Changmin like this, especially as a group there were times wherein their manager would call Changmin for an individual schedule, which alone wasn’t bad. But there was this one time, when a manager had gotten stuck in traffic and was extremely late when picking Changmin up, which meant that Changmin was left alone in the venue until late at night. That night, the members were worried about his late arrival and decided to stay up and wait for Changmin, that’s when they witnessed Changmin’s first breakdown.
“Min, just breathe. We’re here for you.” Juyeon quietly whispered into Changmin’s ear, before going back to his ministrations on the younger’s shoulder. Ever since that night, the members learned and quickly adapted on a formation that would give Changmin the most relief and alleviation. The room was silent, save for Changmin’s soft whines and whimpers, as they waited for the dancer to calm down.
Short time skip…
After a few moments, Changmin moved to adjust his position, slightly uncomfortable after saying that way for a period of time. While he had calmed down now, his nose was stuffy and exhaustion was seeping through his body, he was only able to move so much before leaning against Hyunjae again.
“Ah Minnie don’t move. I know you’re tired right now, I’ll carry you to your room.” Hyunjae offered as he easily lifted Changmin up from the floor with the others proceeding to stand up as well. It was times like these when Changmin was thankful for being one of the smaller members of the group, not that he will ever admit it, it made it easy for him to shrink in their embrace, feeling protected in their arms.
Hyunjae continued to make his way towards Changmin’s room, holding on to the younger tightly, making sure that he wouldn’t fall. As soon as he entered the room, he gingerly laid Changmin on his bed, giving Changmin a small kiss on his forehead before standing up to join the others.
“Minnie, who would it be tonight?” Hyunjae asked the younger, as Sangyeon entered the room last and closed the door.
“Cobie and Hee… please?” it was something that the group had started doing during their early debut days. Whenever one of them had a bad day, they would let them choose a couple of members who’s they want to be with and cuddle with for the night. While initially this was in order to build a stronger bond between everyone, it ended up becoming a habit to ask which members they’d want to be with at that moment, especially since each one of them enjoyed the comfort of physical touch.
Smiling, both Jacob and Chanhee nodded and moved to lie beside Changmin, with Chanhee on the left and Jacob on the right. “All right, we’ll leave you alone for now. Kevin can sleep with Eric first for tonight.”
Except for the three, everyone else placed small kisses on Changmin’s forehead before moving to their own rooms, giving Changmin his privacy to rest for the rest of the night. In the dark room, Jacob and Chanhee made it their mission to get Changmin to sleep in peace, despite having a free day tomorrow, they still wanted him to get as much rest as possible. Turning to face Changmin, both Chanhee and Jacob put their arms around the younger, bring themselves close to Changmin while the said boy made himself smaller in their embrace.
“It’s late Minnie, let’s go sleep.” Jacob whispered, moving to place a kiss on the younger’s cheek. In his embrace, Jacob could still feel Changmin’s weak trembles in his arms. Subtly, he placed one of his hands on Changmin’s head, giving soft pats on the younger’s head. Chanhee on the other hand, nuzzled into Changmin’s hair, took his hand and played with his fingers. The two older boys continued their ministrations, quietly urging the younger to sleep.
“We’ll be here Minnie. Sleep well baby, we love you.” Chanhee greeted Changmin good night when he noticed the dancer’s eyes slowly flutter shut as his trembling subsided. Slowly, Changmin gave into the pulls of sleep and went to fell into a slumber in the embrace of Jacob and Chanhee. Smiling and satisfied, both Jacob and Chanhee smiled at each other before reaching over to kiss each other good night before falling into dream land.
Short time skip…
“Alright everyone! Good job on the run!” Changmin applauded, getting everyone’s attention and greeting each other as they got off stage after rehearsals. Changmin and Juyeon walked back together last, since they had to speak with the camera directors for adjustments after the run. The two were joking about gestures they’d use for the recording before a scream rang out.
“That… came from the end of the hallway… where our waiting room is…” Changmin looked at Juyeon horrified before they both dashed towards their waiting room. Driven by adrenaline, Changmin made it to the waiting room before Juyeon only to panic at the sight.
Hyunjoon laid on the room’s floor, clutching his leg as he broke down in cold sweat, clenching his eyes shut. Panicking slightly, he eyed Sangyeon and Hyunjae who were hovering over the younger in a panic. Sangyeon proceeded to lift Hyunjoon up by the arms, allowing Hyunjae to roll Hyunjoon’s pants up so they could address to his injury as quickly as possible.
“Wha- What is this?! HYUNJOON WHAT IS THIS?” Hyunjae yelled as he uncovered Hyunjoon’s ankle. His ankle was extremely swelled up, bruised and was hot to the touch. Changmin could only collapse as he watched everything unfold before his eyes, frozen in fear, unable to to move as he struggled to breathe. It was around then when Juyeon had reached the room, shocked he immediately went to Changmin’s aid.
“Changmin? What’s wro-“ Juyeon breath hitched as he paused mid sentence as he saw Hyunjoon struggling on the floor.
“Fuck no…” Juyeon muttered under his breath before standing up and running to Hyunjoon, leaving Changmin alone with his thoughts.
‘No wait… this can’t be… he was okay earlier, no flinches no swelling. Hyunjoon was okay. Huh? Juyeon? Please don’t leave me… please don’t leave me alone’
Changmin started to tremble as tears freely fell from his cheeks, ruining his stage make up, “Wait… don’t leave me…”
Changmin kept weakly mumbling to himself as he curled in on himself, hugging his knees and burying his face.
“Please don’t leave… I can’t..” the dancer’s breathing was extremely labored as he scratched the back of his hands, desperate to feel anything but the horrible dread in his heart right now.
“Minnie…”
‘Please stop… don’t go.’
“Min wake up…”
‘Don’t leave me… wait…’
“Minnie we’re right here… wake up please…’
‘I’ll change please please don’t go…’
“MINNIE WAKE UP!”
Changmin jumped awake and sat up, eyes wide and unfocused, breathing shallow and labored as his body shook with fear. Immediately both Jacob and Chanhee were by his side, with Chanhee positioning himself to give the younger a back hug while Jacob moved to be within Changmin’s line of sight, holding onto both of his hands and rubbing the back of it.
“Minnie, we’re right here. Follow Hee’s breathing.” Jacob whispered loud enough for the two to hear, his eyes never leaving Changmin’s face. Jacob couldn’t be any more thankful that both him and Chanhee are light sleepers, they were able to hear Changmin’s soft mumbles and feel his subtle movements. Though it didn’t start out bad, it did get progressively worse and despite being a light sleeper himself, they couldn’t get Changmin to open his eyes and even resorted to shaking him awake.
“Min, we’re here, take your time.” after Chanhee had said those words, both Chanhee and Jacob proceeded to stay quiet and wait for Changmin’s tremors to stop. As much as they both wanted Changmin to sleep peacefully through the night, they knew it would’ve been a stroke of luck if he did manage to do just that. But now they both sit there, calm and patient as Changmin’s tremors eased and his eyes slowly but steadily came back into focus. Jacob sighed in relief as Changmin slifted his gaze from his lap.
“Cobbie…?” Changmin whispered so quietly that if it wasn’t for the deafening silence of the room, they would’ve missed it.
“Hi Minnie, welcome back.” Jacob greeted back with a smile. Kevin often shared his experiences with Changmin whenever the younger had nightmares, and frequently Kevin mentioned long episodes of spacing out and tremors. The main vocalist also mentioned that it took Changmin longer to process questions and replied a bit slower than usual. Knowing this, Jacob and Chanhee continued to wait for Changmin, not caring about how late at night it was, they had a free day the next day after all they didn’t mind staying up to ensure that the younger would be okay.
“Cobbie… Hee… I’m sorry… did I wake you?” Changmin replied after a minute of silence. Jacob chuckled at the sight, Changmin was pouting and his cheeks had a pink hue, it was evident that he’s probably a bit embarrassed by this.
“No need to apologize Minnie, we’re glad you’re doing better now.” Chanhee shook his head with his face still buried on Changmin’s back, tightening the hug on the younger before slowly letting go, moving to get a better view of Changmin’s face. Sensing his movement, Changmin broke his eye contact with Jacob and faced Chanhee.
Everyone knew that this was going to take a while, but they didn’t mind, for this was going to be one of many obstacles they would need to face. But with his fellow members, Changmin knew he’d be alright, he’d be safe and stick together through everything, forever.
≿————- ❈ ————-≾
Couple of years later…
Hyunjoonie~
——————————————————————————-
Minnie, congrats on finishing the fancon!