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Kate Bishop is Not a Lightweight

Summary:

“Kate,” Yelena said, dragging her name out as she leaned back on the sofa and continued to look at the girl who raised her eyebrows suggestively. “No.”

“I haven’t said anything!” Kate objected but the look on her face said otherwise.

“I know what you are thinking and no, we are not doing that.” Yelena sipped her drink.

“What is going on?” Shuri asked. “We are not all fluent in whatever language you two have both formed.”

“Kate Bishop apparently has a bigger death wish than I thought,” Yelena explained, looking towards Shuri. “She wants to play a drinking game with me.”

Or

Kate challenges Yelena to a drinking contest which goes about as well as you can expect.

Notes:

So I'm back with my second one shot in my little new avengers universe where Kate and Yelena are part of the new avengers, alongside Shuri, Cassie and Peter. In this universe Natasha, Steve, Clint and Tony are still around!

I'm overwhelmed with the Kudos and comments I received on my last one shot, it really means a lot to me and helps me with my writing!

Content warning: Alcohol misuse. I don't encourage heavy drinking this chapter is just a fun little one shot that shouldn't be taken too seriously!

Happy reading :)

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Yelena had learned very quickly into her relationship with Kate Bishop that the archer was competitive.

The assassin had been trained all her life to read people in order to analyse their strengths and, more importantly, their weaknesses. When she was still performing assignments for the Red Room, much of her work required her going straight into danger, usually undercover, as Dreykov was an impatient villain who saw the Widows as disposable and worth the risk of losing a few here and there in turn for a quick operation.

Since joining the new avengers team, however, Yelena did not have to utilise these people skills of hers as much anymore, learning that her new Avengers family cared more about her safety than any mission. Whilst sometimes this meant it may take longer to complete assignments, the team usually relied on Shuri’s technological ways of finding out such information on their targets, gaining enough intel before the team headed out onto the field.

Despite this, Yelena just couldn’t help herself when she met Kate.

She had found herself wanting to know everything she could about the beautiful girl that had caught her eye on the first day she had walked into the training room for a quick spar session with Natasha. They had made eye contact with each other that only lasted a second before the brunette, who was very much distracted, was knocked off her feet and onto her back after failing to defend a sweeping kick from Clint, who laughed at her before offering to help her up.

After spending a few weeks getting to know each other Yelena had quickly deduced that whilst on the outside Kate glowed with natural confidence, she had a strong competitive streak that ran through her, hinting to Yelena that there was also insecurity within the archer.

This first displayed itself when Kate attempted to teach Yelena the rules of checkers over a couple of beers one evening.

“It’s easy,” Kate had said whilst setting up the board. “Each player takes turns moving one checker and you can move your piece one space sideways, forward, or diagonally towards the other persons home space, but not backwards, you see?”

Yelena had nodded and took her time learning the game as she played, losing one round to Kate before they set up again.

“It’s okay,” Kate smiled at Yelena. “It took me way too many attempts to win against my mom when I was younger. I'm sure you’ll be beating me in no time.”

No time turned out to be the next round as Yelena, who was now fully familiar with the rules focused on her strategy to remove Kate’s checkers pieces until she had won.

“Beginner's luck?” Yelena had shrugged.

Kate laughed half-heartedly, agreeing with Yelena, but couldn’t stop the frown of confusion that formed on her brow whilst she set up the game again.

After the assassin won four games in a row, Kate looked as if she was merely seconds away from tipping the board and walking away. She couldn’t understand how Yelena, a beginner, had been able to beat Kate who had years of experience playing this game.

“How?” Kate practically shouted in frustration. “How are you doing this?”

Yelena could not manage to keep the crafty smile off her face as she watched the frazzled archer’s mind working in overdrive as she tried to understand how her strategy had failed.

“One more round, Kate Bishop?” Yelena asked with a grin.

“No,” Kate deadpanned before walking away. “No more checkers.”

Yelena laughed to herself before following the sulking brunette, shaking her head as she found herself growing more and more fonder of the archer.

She knew competitiveness was a trait that Kate had carried with her since her childhood. Once Yelena and Kate had begun properly “seeing each other” (they were still yet to put a label on the beginning's of their relationship), Kate’s mother insisted they meet for a monthly dinner at her penthouse in New York. Yelena was not a massive fan of Eleanor Bishop but she was a massive fan of her daughter and so reluctantly put up with the older woman for one evening a month.

Yelena had learned a lot upon entering Kate's childhood home, and she suddenly began to understand the brunette a whole lot more. She knew better than to completely judge somebody on their upbringing but even Yelena almost had to physically prevent her jaw from hitting the floor when she saw the enormous penthouse. She knew the girl was rich but this was not what Yelena had expected as, truth be told, Kate did not talk much about her family life.

Thirty minutes into dinner with Kate’s mother, Yelena had learned exactly why Kate sometimes exhibited traits of an only child who had been spoiled from birth that could appear when the archer did not get her way. Her mother, while Yelena could see there was a lot of love there for her daughter, had coddled her against the harsh realities of the real world, raising her in a bubble fuelled by wealth and opportunity. Looking around, Yelena had also seen the multiple first place archery and martial arts trophies that had been displayed in the living room cabinets and around Kate's childhood bedroom, suggesting that Kate often gunned for first place and did not settle for anything less than the best.

So yes, Kate was competitive and could be a little bit of a spoiled brat but this could sometimes be a strength, driving her and her ambition to be the best archer in the world. But unfortunately, sometimes it could also prove to be her biggest flaw.

This was currently the case as Kate accepted one of Cassie’s dangerous cocktails, mixed with whatever she could find behind the bar and the fridge. It was a Friday night, and the team had just managed to make a breakthrough on their case in uncovering a criminal mastermind and so were celebrating with some drinks, whilst Shuri’s summer playlist played through the speakers.

Yelena, who was sipping her own drink, couldn’t help but tease her girlfriend from her comfy position on the couch. “Careful, Kate Bishop, I do not want to be holding your hair back over the toilet at 3am tonight.”

Shuri and Peter, who were both in a passionate discussion surrounding how they could improve Spidey’s web shooters, stopped to look into their direction, amused to see how Kate was going to take Yelena’s diss at her.

Shooting a pointed look at Yelena, Kate walked back over to her seat next the blonde. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Well,” Yelena continued, reaching for Kate's hand, wanting to lace their fingers together. “You are what you Americans call a lightweight, no?”

Kate pulled back her hand, withholding it from the other girl, offended. “I am not a lightweight, I literally spent three years partying at university.”

“Yes,” Yelena hummed considering this. “But that was over a year ago and last week you got so drunk on three beers that you passed out at 10pm.”

“Oooh,” Cassie said, joining them with her own cocktail, taking a seat in the armchair. “To be fair, she’s not wrong, Katie.”

“Yeah, it was actually pretty impressive, in a way.” Peter said, trying but failing to make Kate feel better.

“I already told you guys,” Kate said, her voice rising higher in the way that it did when she got defensive. “I hadn’t eaten all day and was already feeling tired so went to bed early. I wasn’t drunk.”

“It is okay, Kate Bishop,” Yelena smiled. “You have a low tolerance to alcohol that is completely normal for an American.”

“Oh and because you’re Russian you don’t?” Kate quirked back.

“Well,” Yelena faked considering this before nodding her head at the archer “Yes.”

“Isn’t that a bit stereotypical?” Kate said smugly.

“Yes,” Yelena smiled again. “but in this case it is the truth, I can drink more than you.”

Yelena swore she could see a flame ignite in the brunette's eyes as they darkened and narrowed at her, a smirk formed on her lips. Uh oh Yelena thought to herself. She knew this look well in the other girl and Yelena could feel Kate interpreted what she had said as a challenge.

“Kate,” Yelena said, dragging her name out as she leaned back on the sofa and continued to look at the girl who raised her eyebrows suggestively. “No.”

“I haven’t said anything!” Kate objected but the look on her face said otherwise.

“I know what you are thinking and no, we are not doing that” Yelena sipped her drink.

“What is going on?” Shuri asked. “We are not all fluent in whatever language you two have both formed.”

“Kate Bishop apparently has a bigger death wish than I thought,” Yelena explained, looking towards Shuri. “She wants to play a drinking game with me.”

“Ah, actually I cannot lie,” Shuri laughed. “I would not mind seeing this.”

“What, Kate, there's no way,” Peter interjected at the same time.

“Yeah, Yelena could drink us all under the table,” Cassie added.

“That is true,” Yelena agreed. “Although I will admit, Peter, because of your healing abilities I believe you would be a formidable challenge.”

“Awh thanks, I guess.” Peter said, taking the compliment from the Russian.

Kate, silently watching her friends, was only more stirred on to prove everyone wrong that she was not a lightweight. Whilst she was not a complete idiot she did not truly believe she could outdrink her girlfriend but she wanted to prove that she could hold her own against the blonde. She got up, walked over to the bar and brought out the bottle of Yelena’s favourite Russian Vodka, which burned Kate a lot less now than it did the first time she had drunk it with Yelena. She had grown accustomed to the taste, learning to appreciate the drink rather than just using it to get drunk on the cheapest vodka on a student night out.

She brought the bottle and five shot glasses over to their table, eliciting a groan from Peter who absolutely did not want to do shots. His protests were overshadowed by the celebrations of Shuri and Cassie, clearly still feeling the high of the breakthrough they had in their mission.

Yelena tried to give Kate a stern look in an attempt to warn the girl that this was not a good idea but it melted almost instantaneously once the archer sat beside her and looked into her eyes, her hands resting on her thighs. Kate's cheeks had flushed slightly from the slight alcohol induced buzz she was feeling, and the look in her eyes was adorably affectionate. Yelena thought for sure there was no prettier sight than the one in front of her. She was also feeling the tiniest bit tipsy herself, not that she would ever admit that to anyone, and couldn’t help but lean forward to give the brunette a light kiss which Kate gladly reciprocated.

“Okay, we can have one shot,” Yelena submitted. “To celebrate.”

Kate smiled widely and poured five shots, which each member took and saluted in cheers before knocking it back. Cassie, Shuri and Peter cringed at the burning but Kate had managed to drink hers without any reaction and Yelena felt herself falling a little bit more in love with the girl.

“Это моя девушка.” Yelena said in Russian, putting her hand on her knee. (That’s my girl)

“Again,” Kate said, reaching for the vodka to pour two more shots, knowing full well Cassie, Shuri and Peter would not accept any more vodka.

“Kate!” Yelena groaned, although she did want more vodka, she did not want the other girl to take this as an invitation to a drinking competition.

“Don’t be such a chicken,” Kate said, handing Yelena the shot. “You’re just afraid you’ll lose.”

Yelena quirked an eyebrow. The thing was that whilst Kate Bishop was very competitive by nature, the blonde also had the same streak in her, although hers was much more subtle than her partners. She considered the other girl’s comment for a moment before picking up the shot.

“к черту это.” Yelena shrugged, downing the drink. (to hell with it)

“This is going to get very messy very quickly.” Cassie said into her hands whilst Shuri cheered.

“They are both fools.” Shuri laughed, clinking her drink with Peter’s who just looked amazed as Kate took her second shot without grimacing.

“Uh oh,” Said Natasha entering the room, looking slightly out of breath from a night run with Clint beside her. “What have we just walked in on.”

“Kate just challenged Yelena to a drinking contest.” Peter answered.

Clint laughed. “I guess I can go ahead and cancel our training tomorrow, Katie-Kat?”

“No way,” Kate waved him down. “I'll be there, don’t worry.”

“She’s not gonna be there.” Natasha shook her head at Clint before turning to her sister. “What about you, Yelena, are we still on for tomorrow?”

“Yes, yes don’t worry, Natasha,” Yelena said. “I never get hangovers and I'm just going to show Kate how we do things in Russia, I'm sure she’ll tap out soon.”

“Tap out?” Kate quirked. “Very American of you and no I won’t.”

“Ahh, you are a bad influence, Kate Bishop.” Yelena said, pouring a third shot.

“Guys, I really think you should slow down, three shots is like, a lot!” Peter said growing very concerned.

“I really want to go to bed, but I've gotta see where this goes.” Cassie said, feeling the alcohol hit her as she curled up in her chair.

“Oh do not worry, this will not last long.” Yelena smiled at the other blonde.

Natasha and Clint laughed as they were reminded of a similar time many many years ago where Clint had challenged Nat to a drinking contest which resulted in him passing out in a German beer hall. They said their goodnights before leaving the New Avengers to their antics.

Yelena threw back her shot with ease before noticing Kate was still eyeing up her shot, suddenly feeling a bit ill.

“You’re hesitating, моя любовь,” Yelena hummed “You don’t have to drink it, you know.” (My love)

Kate was beginning to feel the effects of the alcohol she had been drinking after such a quick period of drinking and cursed in her mind before taking the third shot. She managed to down the shot without showing any reaction to her friends and shot a smart smile to Yelena, who was impressed.

“Are you ready for another?” Yelena asked, guiding her hand over the bottle in preparation to pour another shot, looking at the brunette for a sign to stop.

Kate’s throat burned from the third shot and she really did not want a fourth shot and suddenly felt a wave of tipsiness flow over her. She closed her eyes, and took a deep breath but that just made her more sleepy as she felt the vodka do its thing. She weakly opened her eyes and in her stubbornness, she nodded at Yelena.

“Yeah, I'm ready.” She slurred, hiccupping on her words.

“Okay, Kate you’re not a lightweight you don’t have to drink anymore!” Peter all but panicked for Kate’s health whilst Shuri laughed.

“Oh, I think we all know now Kate is a lightweight,” Shuri said, looking at the archer, who had closed her eyes again and looked like she was ready to pass out.

Yelena, noticing this, chuckled to herself before she poured just one shot, which she downed before getting up and pouring a glass of water for the girl. When she came back Kate had leaned back on the sofa, her long wavy brown hair messily covering half of her face as she released soft snores. Yelena envied how quickly the girl had managed to fall asleep, even if it was alcohol induced.

“I guess that’s that then,” Cassie said, getting up and starting to clean the mess that had clustered at the table. “What’s the time?”

“9:52pm” Shuri laughed before finishing her drink and getting up to help. “A new personal best for our Hawkeye.”

“Awh, we can’t tell her she’ll be so sad,” Peter said, emptying some beer bottles into the sink.

Yelena, who had been stroking Kate's hair out of her face gently, looked up at Peter with a smile.

“Oh, I am not letting her forget this.”

 

-

Kate Bishop woke up the next day to a throbbing headache. She brought her hand to her head in attempt to alleviate the pounding in her brain. She looked down and saw she had one of Yelena’s oversized European band shirts on, which was very comfortable. Groaning, she rolled over, and saw a pair of mischievous green eyes staring back at her.

“Good morning, Kate Bishop.” Yelena hummed.

“Is it though?” Kate muttered, feeling very hungover.

“I think so,” Yelena shrugged, a smile plastered on her face before stretching out “I feel great.”

“Can’t relate.” Kate huffed, rolling on to her back.

“There are pain killers and water on your side that I put there last night,” Yelena said “I was prepared for this.”

Kate rolled over and took the pain killers and drank the water, quickly swallowing them and prayed for them to kick in sooner rather than later. “You do look after me.”

“Yes,” Yelena agreed. “Even when you do silly things like challenge a Russian to a drinking contest.”

“How many shots did I take?” Kate asked, the end of the night being hazy in her brain.

“Three within ten minutes, which for you, and I do not mean this condescendingly,” Yelena assured, quirking her eyebrow at the younger girl to make sure she did not take this as an insult. “Is impressive.”

“Because I am a lightweight?” Kate wondered, knowing the answer.

“Because you are a lightweight, Kate Bishop.” Yelena confirmed, making small soothing patterns on Kate's arm, which seemed to help take away Kate’s attention from her headache.

“I don’t remember coming to bed last night.” Kate said after a minute of silence, thinking back to what she could remember.

“I had to half carry you to our room,” Yelena said. “Which is very hard when it is on a different floor to the living room.”

“I don’t remember that,” Kate said and then cuddled into Yelena. “God, that’s embarrassing.”

“No, you were very funny,” Yelena laughed, bringing her arm over the archer and rubbing her back under her shirt, just how she liked it. “You tried to speak to me in terrible Russian and I think you were trying to tell me how much you loved me, but I could be wrong.”

“Well, I do love you a lot,” Kate looked up at Yelena. “And I am trying to learn Russian.”

“And failing it would seem.” Yelena teased.

“Hey, I was drunk it doesn’t count!” Kate furrowed her brows in a weak attempt to look angry.

“I love you a lot too.” Yelena raised the brunette's chin up to meet her lips as she kissed her, causing Kate to momentarily forget about her hangover. As Yelena deepened the kiss she heard a knock on the door which caused them to break apart.

“Hey, is she awake yet?” Cassie said through the door. “Did you tell her she passed out before 10pm?”

Kate processed this for a second before catching on to what Cassie had meant. She cringed at herself and groaned into Yelena’s shoulder.

Yelena chuckled, pulling the brunette closer to her.

Notes:

Have a great week and take care! :)

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