Chapter Text
Technoblade was ninety-nine percent sure that murdering his twin brother wouldn’t solve his problems. But the option looked more and more appealing as the minutes ticked by.
A light breeze blew his hair onto his sweat covered face. The wind came from an open window, which was used by the two kids that had just stolen from them and escaped.
Them, being himself, and Wilbur. Wilbur fucking Soot.
Murder was sounding great right about now.
He looked back from the window to see the man desperately trying to pull his left leg out of the ground. It was phased through to the middle of his calf.
Techno’s anger swelled at the way his twin swayed dissily, desperately trying to free himself from his floor confinement. He was useless, utterly unusable in the fight. Flailing around like a baby giraffe falling through the floor with every step, trying to hold on to the leg of the taller boy.
“Wilbur you’re a fucking idiot.” Techno said as he pulled the mask off his head, one of the buckles smashing on his bun.
“What the fuck ever man, he was slippery.” Wilbur slurred his response as he managed to finally free his left leg.
“Slippery? Slippery!? He was a kid- we had two amateur children fighting us and we, the top heroes of the whole damn nation, let them escape!”
“I think you're missing a key word Tech-” Wilbur tried to stand, only for his right leg to sink knee deep into the ground, trapping him once again. “Oh fucking great! We- we let them get away. Not just me.” He grunted, trying to push himself back up.
“At least I had one, he was as good as ours if yours hadn’t gotten loose and grabbed him!” Techno felt the urge to punch something (something being Wilbur).
“Okay listen, at the very least, I-” Wilbur pointed at himself before carefully spinning his finger around and pointing at Techno “tried.”
He pushed himself out of the ground before walking away, again mimicking a small animal learning to walk, taking longer strides than necessary.
“Where the fuck are you going? We need to find them!” Techno yelled after his twin.
Wilbur spun on his heel and started walking backwards shouting at Technoblade as he disappeared into the hall.
“I gotta take a shit.” He snickered as he slammed the door to the hall bathroom.
Techno looked blankly down the hall, wondering what had just happened, and where Phil went wrong with his second son. He sighed, pulling his hair out of its bun and running his fingers through it. The feeling of it being so short was still unusual to his hands. He felt the buildup of oil on his scalp, and the residue it left on the tips of his fingers.
Puffy’s words rang on the back of his mind.
“Remember, if you feel like you need a reset, wash it all away and start over.”
It was time for a shower.
Techno made his way to the stairs, the elevator being obviously damaged from the fight. He walked slowly contemplating his existence.
Foolish and Hannah were on patrol, but they’d probably be back when they were notified of the heist. Now that he thought of it, somebody probably really wanted to talk to him.
What happened?
Who were they?
Did you get a description?
How did they escape?
Wash it all away. They can wait fifteen minutes for him to shower, he was covered in sweat and blood anyway.
As he walked towards his room he heard a yelp. It came from the ceiling, he turned the corner and was met with…
Ass.
Wilbur, his beloved brother, the famed superhero, Icarus Soot, has fallen through the floor while taking a shit.
And Techno was looking at his bare ass. Wilbur’s bare ass was hanging through the ceiling.
Techno looked down at the floor, to his workout shoes, where a pile of…
Technoblade literally, in every sense of the word, wanted to die.
————————————-
The shower was cold, but he had convinced himself it was “good for his mental health”.
Technoblade listened to his phone buzz on the bathroom sink counter for the 7th time within the last twelve minutes.
He let out a deep sigh as he stepped out of the tub and wrapped himself in a plush brown towel. He ran a brush through his hair and dried it off with a towel before picking up his phone.
3 missed calls and 4 unread texts from Phil
2 missed calls and 1 voicemail from Bad
2 missed calls and 7 unread texts from Puffy
Phil:
2:23: Hey what the fuck happened
2:23: they said there was a red alert and you and wil fought
2:24: it was on our floor? are you hurt?
2:25: answer plese
Puffy:
1:32: Hey, if you're feeling up to it you should come down and meet the kids! It might cheer you up.
1:33: Maybe don’t bring Wilbur…lol
2:20: Tech, they want you and Wil to come down to security for a meeting.
2:21: Everyones really confused so it would be great if you could come down.
2:26: idk what you're doing that's so important, please come down
2:27: Techno?
2:27: Is your phone broken?
He shook his head, wondering what he was supposed to tell these people.
“Sorry team, one of ‘em mentioned my dead brother and Wilbur was too high to fight the other one! No idea what they took but I’m sure it won’t cause a problem!”
Wait. The kid had mentioned Techno’s dead brother.
“Tommy wouldn’t want this.”
How the fuck did he know who Tommy was? Or that he would care if he knew Tommy? How did this random kid know about his connections to Tommy? And did he know his name as well? If he knew Tommy, who has only ever been known in the public eye as Theseus, did he know Technoblades real name? Or Wilbur’s? Phil’s?
And the other kid, jumping on them both right as he said that. It was like he knew he’d be shocked. This wasn’t a coincidence. This had to have been planned.
Dream had sent two teen boys to steal and gave them just the right information to throw him off his game.
Techno left the bathroom in a flurry of towels and clothes, and sped walked down the stairs to the first floor, he realized at floor two he has no shoes on.
And who’s fault was that…
He decided not to care as he quickly stepped the two flights left onto ground level. The door in the stairwell read “Security: Level 1”. Techno pushed the heavy door open with the ease of someone with superstrength and was met by the stares of at least twenty superheroines.
“Technoblade! You’ve finally decided to join us-” Bad seemed irate, his tone bitter and dismissive to the man.
“Techno, we were hoping you could enlighten us on what happened.” Puffy interrupted the angry man.
“The security cameras cut off, and the whole system’s code is fried,” Sam typed upsettedly, his eyes glowing green as his powers hacked away bit by bit at the destruction done by the teen boys.
“All I know is that the red alert sounded and Wilbur and I prepared to disarm the perpetrator, before any further issues arose. When the elevator doors opened on floor 7, the two boys put up a good fight and the ender hybrid used a pearl to teleport them out the window. By the time I even got to the window they were long gone.” Techno forced as much of a casual tone as he could.
“Oh of course! With Wilbur fighting even two children could escape!” Phil made his way out from the crowd of security guards and HQ staff.
“Don’t start Phil.” Puffy instructed, pointing at him with a fury unmatched.
“They had a small black case, I’m guessing whatever was in it is what they stole?” Techno spoke up again to Sam, the man still speedily typing.
“Yeah, they took 3 power dampening vials from the training floor.”
“Power dampeners? I’m guessing that could be bad in the wrong hands.” The pinkette crossed his arms over his chest.
“Yeah no shit,” Ponk pulled their chair in closer to Sam, looking over what their husband was doing.
“Techno was the smaller boys power Tech Control?” Sam looked up from his computer to the camera in the corner or the room, his eyes still bright green.
“Seems like it, he closed the elevator door on my arm, so I’m assuming he hacked them.”
“Yeah okay, so two teenage powered boys, ender and ram hybrids, with teleportation and technology control…” Ponk was on their phone now, typing and scrolling. “Is this them?” They said holding the device up for Techno to see.
“Yep.” He popped the “P” as he stared at the boys that bested him.
“Hazard and Enderwalk and two vigilantes from Logsted, not super well know but seem to keep they’re area free of muggers and crooks.” Ponk read the first article.
“Huh, listen to this,” Puffy was now also on her phone. “Vigilantes Hazard and Enderwalk spotted with newest Logsted vigilante Lycomedes. That’s a new name.”
“Yeah it is, Techno knows all about those, who was Lycomedes?” Phil questioned.
Technoblade felt like icy-hot was flowing through his veins. The day had been so shitty. First the red alert waking him up, then the two teens getting away. One of them mentioned Tommy by name. And it was only now 11:00 am, he wasn’t even through half the goddamn day.
Now he needs to find out why they stole power dampeners for what purposes. they’re probably working with Dream, and a man named Lycomedes. Which in the literal story means.
“The man who killed Theseus.”