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“Cap, why do you look like a kid?”
1: Billy groaned from where he was laying on the floor. Crud, his secret was out. He’d half-hoped he’d never have to confess.
Billy coughed and tried to sit up. Superman flashed over to him and helped lift a beam off his chest from where a bridge had collapsed on top of him. Who knew magical lightning could be so destructive? “I’m really sorry guys, I should have told you. This is my other form, I shapeshift using magic lightning.”
Wonder Woman nodded. “While a warrior should not lie to their comrades, it is understandable that you would want to hide a potential weakness. I do regret that you feel as if you could not show your other form to us.”
Billy shakily stood up. Wow, they’re taking this really well. “Um, thanks. I always meant to tell you guys, but as time went on I felt like it kinda would be weird to tell you after so long, ya know?”
“Wow, this is so weird,” Flash said. “You even act more like a ten-year-old when you look like this. Is it a psychological thing? Like, you're an adult, but when you look ten you subconsciously act younger?”
Green Lantern elbowed him. “Dude, don’t be rude.”
“How is that rude? I was just asking-”
“You said he acts like a ten-year-old-”
Wait, what? Did they think… did they think that Billy was the disguise?
“Oh, um, yeah. It’s like, my brain is of a ten-year-old when I’m in this shape. But I’m an adult. So I act weird. Like Flash said.”
“See! I told you it isn’t rude!”
2:
Play dumb. “What do you mean?” Not that dumb!
“Marvel, you look like a ten-year-old,” Superman told him.
Crud. Double down. “No, I don’t.”
“Yes, you do.”
“No I don’t.”
“Yes, you do?”
“Do not.”
“You clearly look like a child, Captain.”
“Superman, are you hallucinating? I don’t look like a ten-year-old.”
“Captain, have you been injured? Did you get hit with something magic?”
Well like, yeah, technically. “Superman, I’m fine. I’m more invulnerable than you, are you sure you haven’t been injured?”
Superman stared at him for a long moment. He touched his comm, glancing away as he started talking slowly. “Superman to Watchtower. I believe I may have been hit with a hallucinogenic, possibly a form of Kryptonite- what the-?”
Billy waved away the smoke from the lightning, again looking like Captain Marvel. “What’s wrong, Superman?”
“...If I can get a transport up to the Watchtower med-bay immediately, that would be great.”
3:
“Well. I died at age ten and my body would look like this if I were still alive but uh. Yeah, I’m dead.”
Superman looked horrified. “We have a dead ten-year-old on our team.”
“I’m not ten! I’m an adult! I just look ten sometimes because I died.”
“That’s weird as hell, man.” Green Lantern said.
“Oh, and a dude who got chosen by the god of green to get a fancy ring so he can fight threats using the power of imagination and green energy isn’t weird?” Billy complained. “That guy’s whole thing is run fast. That guy is a regular dude.”
“Hey!"
“I mean, fair.”
“Hm.”
“I’m still hung up on the whole “dead ten-year-old” thing,” Flash said. “How did you die? Can I ask you that? Are you gonna go all Exorcist on us?”
Billy hadn’t thought this far ahead. Time to bullshit. “Uh. So I got caught in the middle of a super awesome wizard duel, sorry I was cursed so I can’t elaborate. And one of the wizards hit me with a spell and it killed me but instead of dying like a loser I became a ghost and my body ages and I’m physical so I’m basically alive? But I definitely died. The wizard told me so. And I won't go all Exorcist on you guys, I promise.”
“Is this the same Wizard you have mentioned before?” Wonder Woman asked. “The one you reference when you talk about your powers.”
Uhhhh. “No, that's a different, third wizard.”
4:
“You know, that’s really human-ist of you. Not every species naturally looks like a full-grown adult human when we’re adults.”
Batman frowned. “You’re saying you’re an alien.”
World’s greatest detective, everybody.
“How do you look like an adult, then? If your species typically looks like a younger human would.” Superman asked.
“Why hide your true self from us, Captain?” Wonder Woman agreed.
“I use a glamour to look older than I am because I knew you guys would react like this.”
Green Lantern stuck his hand in the air. “Actually, I got sensitivity training about the appearances and cultures of other species from the lantern corps because of my status as a member of a non-space-faring species. So. That's why I didn’t react like that.”
Everyone, including Billy, looked at Green Lantern, baffled.
“And honestly, Cap is right to be a little mad at you guys. Supes is like, really lucky that he looks like a human, and Martain Manhunter over here can shapeshift. I’d use a glamour to look like an adult too if I were an adult who looked like a kid.”
Convenient. Billy gave Green Lantern a thumbs up. “Thanks, GL.”
5: “I got cursed by Klarion”
There was a short pause as everybody digested that.
“Got cursed to… what exactly?” Green Lantern eventually asked.
“What, do you think he bothered to tell me? All I know is every so often a bolt of lightning comes out of the sky and I turn into a ten-year-old, it’s nuts.”
“Jesus Christ,” said Flash.
“No god here, buddy”
“Is there any way of reversing the curse?” Batman asked. “This is a serious concern, we can’t have you turning into a ten-year-old in the middle of a battle again”
Billy made a face. “Nah it’s fine- OHNOHERECOMESTHELIGHTNINGAGAINshazam”
Everyone dove for cover as lightning again struck Billy. He coughed from the smoke and grinned at the League. “See? All good!”
1:
“I look like a kid? What do you mean OH MY GOD BEHIND YOU IT’S DARKSEID RUN FOR YOUR LIFE.”