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English
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Published:
2022-04-11
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1,111
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1/1
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The Tale of the Gentleman of the Sea

Summary:

“The gentleman Pirate I presume” “You’ve heard of me?” “I’ve heard all about you”

While Stede is on his ship listening to tall tales about Blackbeard; Edward Teach is on his ship listening to tall tales about the mysterious Gentleman Pirate.

Notes:

I too have been infected with the gay pirate brainrot. When Episode 3 ended and Blackbeard says “I’ve heard all about you” I paused and went “Have you? What have you heard?” I just couldn’t help but wonder what kind of stories a bunch of superstitions uneducated pirates would make up about Stede Bonnet.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

By the time he led the trembling merchant from the smoke hazed captains quarters, the malicious gleam had begun to fade from Izzie's eye. Yes, the rat was returning from his questioning sweat drenched and reeking of fear; but not of blood. Not a single bruise or scratch- well, no more than what they started with and as far as Izzy can tell, everyone still had all their fingers and toes.

 

Normally after a raid the ship timbers would thrum with the screams of interrogated men, instead there was only the soft murmur of conversation when Izzy had cautiously pressed his ear to the closed door.

 

Izzy Hands had begun to spot a pattern and he was officially becoming concerned.

 

Blackbeard was undoubtedly the greatest pirate captain of their generation and Izzy was honored to be the man's first mate. The captain had a combination of sharp cunning and explosive violence that put him on the cutting edge of piracy. Unfortunately, every now and then, that writhing bag of cats Blackbeard called a brain would latch onto some other obsession not pertinent to the business. Then it would be Izzy's job to drag the man back to the business of Piracy.

The last time had been a fixation on learning everything he could about clouds and weather. The final straw being when Blackbeard had them abandon a foundering merchant galleon to sail directly into a roiling storm that had almost formed into a ship killer. After, the crew had talked mutiny, even after a demonstration of Fangs new skinning knife.

 

Blackbeard was displaying the same troubling behavior as last time. Locking himself away in his cabin, wandering the deck late at night staring up at the stars. Ivan had reported back to Izzy after delivering Blackbeard’s dinner that the captain barely touched his meal. He had quizzed the crewman on his knowledge of imaginary sea creatures. Why did the captain suddenly want to know about mermaids? And what the hell was a selkie?

 

 

"So Frank, your cousin in Tortuga, Robbie, says you saw a mermaid onboard the deck of the revenge?"

 

The battered prisoner stared at the terrifying sea captain in confusion. "W-what? How do you know-?" Blackbeard casually rested his hand on the butt of his pistol. It worked like a charm.

 

"Well, I guess it could have been a siren? I didn't see no tail. It was in the dark of night, I couldn't make out a lot of details..."

 

"Tell me what happened. Tell it just like you did for your mates in the Red Snapper Tavern." Blackbeard settled back into his chair; the release of tension encouraged the crewman to weave his tale.

 

"Right, well it was a few months back. Me and the lads was celebrating a big payout, you know how it is. It was late, the moon was high and we was good and merry at that stage. We got the idea to spread some of that clink with the ladies, and Johnno, he swears he knows a place where the girlies dance naked with swords. He says we've got to see it to believe it, but it's at the other end of the wharf. We figure, fuck it, we'll take a walk for some tits and a blade."

 

Captain Teach nodded along, taking a slow puff on his pipe. He knew the place; it was definitely worth the walk.

 

"We're heading along the pier and I realize all that booze is going right through me. I tell the boys I gotta take a slash and I'll catch up. So, I head down the dock and as I'm unloading, I hear it."

 

"Hear what?" Asked Ed, trying to play it cool but eager for the tale.

 

"Singing. High and sweet; it was coming from one of the ships anchored in the bay. The most beautiful voice I ever heard, in some strange language, calling to me from across the waves. I didn't know the words, but that voice had a hold on me. Before I knew it, I'm standing right at the end of the pier, the song still pulling at me. And I see him, standing at the prow of his ship, fine robe flowing in the breeze, fair hair glowing under full moon...” Frank paused for dramatic effect. “It was the Gentleman Pirate!”

 

Ed released the breath he’d been holding in a swirling puff of smoke. “You sure it was the revenge you saw?”

 

“Oh aye, it was the Revenge. I could see that lacquered unicorn figurehead clearer than anything else on the bay. No doubt about it.”

 

“Hmm, and what happened after that?”

 

“I bloody well fell of the pier, didn’t I?” The tart reply jolted a bark of laughter from Blackbeard. “I was leanin’ out over the water, trying to get a better look at him, like the soused idiot I was and went tits up into the drink. By the time I made it back to dry land The Gentleman Pirate had vanished.”

 

 

After Blackbeard had seen Frank and his men off, he stomped up to the ship prow and leant out against the rigging, breathing in the fresh salty air.

 

He knew that all pirates were terrible gossips, and that most of the stories about his contemporaries were utter bullshit. Fuck, half the stories about him say he has a head made out of smoke and swans about with twelve pistols. Or the one about Spanish Jackie: That she cuts parts off men to stitch together into a new husband with her hoodoo magic.

 

He’s not an idiot!

 

It’s just that... All those tall tales are more like horror stories; designed to fuel the terror that makes their life easier. Then out of nowhere, Blackbeard starts hearing tales of a new comer. Only these aren’t horror stories, they’re more like the fairy tales his mother would whisper to him in the night.

 

Ed can’t help himself; he’s started to collect these Gentleman Pirate Fairy Tales. Laying in his cabin at night and replaying the stories, drifting to sleep with beautiful mermaid songs and living coats made of silk. Managing, for the first time in many years, to sleep a whole night through without nightmares. He’s docking the ship more frequently, heading into the bars and taverns to hunt down fresh tales from the local gossips.

 

Sometimes he thinks he should organize a meeting, nice and casual, to meet the Gentleman Pirate. But Blackbeard also knows he is probably just another rough fucker with maybe a slightly better jacket and for now he’d rather keep collecting his fairytales.

 

Maybe one day he can bear the disappointment, but not now.

Notes:

It’s the first story I've written in years, please be gentle and let me know if you’d like another tall tale about the gentleman pirate – I've got a list of Ideas.