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I’m Only Me When I’m With You

Chapter 4: A Perfectly Undead Heart

Summary:

A pile of shit thrown together to satisfy my need of continuing this story.

Notes:

Hey guys I know its been quite a while, I've been so busy. But I've thrown together a few words that will hopefully get me working on this fic again. Thank you so much for your patience with me and my horrible writing schedule. Also yes, I am very unstable at the moment. Love ya!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Baz:

The morning after I got my soulmark, is coincidentally the morning that I must return back to Watford. I sigh as I roll off my bed, and then cringe when my foot hits the bloody suitcase I had packed the night before. “Fuck,” I mumble as I stagger into the wash room. 

 

The first thing I do once I’m in there is to of course lift up my shirt and check to make sure the mark is still there. It is, of course, written in its messy print. ‘Cause he’s the reason…’ . 

 

I’ve come to terms with the fact that I am very, very gay over the summer. When I finally had a break from the bumbling numpty that took what's left of my heart. I told my father and Daphne as well, and while Daphne has always been very supportive of me, father was less than pleased. Which was to be expected of course,  just shove it under the carpet, along with the fact that I’m an undead vampire, and never talk about it.

 

But when I saw ‘he’ written on my chest, I almost allowed myself to hope that maybe, possibly- My soulmate is a boy? That maybe the universe finally gave me something, that maybe the universe was on my side for once.

 

I sigh, it’s highly unlikely, the universe is an arsehole.

 

I dress in my Watford Uniform and grab my suitcase before heading down to the dining room where my family was most likely waiting for me. When something catches my eye. A christmas gift from Fiona a few years back, my guitar.

I hadn’t played in forever, not since I learned that my mother had played. A fact which led me to become openly irritable whenever I so much as thought of it, another open reminder of all I had lost. 

Mordy of course had begged me to play again when she began to listen to her pop music. But when you’re constantly reminded of everything you hate about yourself, about your life, unnecessary reminders of any kind were… well… unnecessary.  

 

If you can even call it a ‘life’ at this point, I’m dead, and honestly I couldn’t forget that fact if I tried. Believe me, I’ve tried.

 

I let out a low, sorry excuse of a laugh, give my guitar the finger, and exit my room stage left.

Simon:

I’ve decided not to worry about the soulmark. My soulmate has to be Aggie. Maybe her opinion has changed this summer, or maybe my love for the song compensates for both of us. That's a thing- right?

 

Either way I’m sure once I get back to Watford and talk through things with Aggie, everything will be fine and normal. Well, as normal as things can be when you share a room with a huge prick. Who also happens to be a vampire . I let out a huff, the subject of Baz always just gets my blood boiling. I’ve complained to The Mage about him tons of times, how he always makes snide remarks and sneers. Or how he pushed me down the stairs. Or how he tried to feed me to a fucking Chimera last year. Then Baz argued that the fact that he failed was punishment enough. And The Mage agreed .

 

Whenever I would bring up my problems to The Mage he would always say something like, ‘This is a war Simon, we are all making sacrifices.’ Or ‘He’s our enemy Simon, I need you to keep an eye on him.’ Or most commonly, ‘I have enough problems already without you bothering me. I need you to work this out on your own, I can’t be your babysitter anymore Simon. I need you to do that, can you? I need you to grow up and solve your problems by yourself, could you do that for me?’ And what was I supposed to say to that besides ‘Yes sir.’ If The Mage needs me to do something for him, I do it, no questions asked. I just can’t let him down, you know?  He's the whole reason I’m here(which he never fails to remind me of) and I need to prove myself to him, make him proud. 

 

But Baz .

 

…Baz

I sigh, there’s no use thinking about this now, an hour away from Watford. I should let myself enjoy this last bit of time for my 6th year of having to deal with that arsehole. And so I try not to think about him as I relax into my seat and bring up my list of things that I miss every summer. As I do this I queue up my playlist and listen to- well the only artist I ever really listen to. If you don’t know by this point shame on you.

Notes:

Hiii, hopefully the next chapter won't take months to write, thanks for reading and I'd love to hear any comments, questions, or concerns of yours. Also again I'm so sorry it took me this long, I seriously hope I will get back into writing again. Sorry for any typos this was briefly edited.