Chapter Text
Chapter 36: Hopes and Dreams
Eren shifted, trying not to disturb Levi as he tried to alleviate the pressure between his legs as the alpha slept on top of him. His emotionally exhausted mate had been sleeping for the last several hours, having worn himself out from crying as Eren told him everything.
Well—not everything. He did still want to keep him after all.
The Rumbling was still a secret that would never pass Eren’s lips. He had divulged more to Levi than he thought he ever would, whether it be from the heat or just needing someone to unburden himself to. They had talked about their history…about the titans…about their relationship…about their future. They had talked about everything, and Eren had lied through his teeth when he promised Levi no more secrets.
Oh well—by the time Levi had cause to be disappointed in him, it would all be too late anyways. It would be over between them, and the world would crumble because of it. Eren’s breath hitched, trying to keep it from becoming ragged as cramps roiled through him and the low grade arousal he was feeling turned painful.
Taking a deep shuddering breath, Eren tried to control it, not sure that his body was listening as it could feel the alpha pressed between his legs as Levi’s slow breathing puffed against his neck. He knew he’d need to wake him eventually, but that led to things he wasn’t sure he was ready for.
Levi had killed Armin.
He killed him because Eren played his hand with the fact that Erwin assaulted him, and miscalculated so greatly. It was his fault Armin was dead. It was his fault all those men were dead. The guilt made him sick as the weight of it pressed down on him harder than his slumbering mate.
Not to say it mattered much in the end—not after the world was trampled down to ash. Those hundreds of scouts would just be a drop in the barrel of his body count. But Armin was one of the ones he was trying to save. He was one of the ones this would all be for, and he hadn’t even lived long enough to witness their freedom.
Eren had killed Armin.
He killed him and he would never get to tell his friend how utterly sorry he was for making him a pawn in his game. He knew what his heat did to Levi—not that lust induced jealousy could ever excuse murder, but he knew the risks. Eren also knew what this meant for their future—a future that had been altered. It begged the question that he couldn’t bring himself to ask in his mind…that dangerous bit of hope that had been swirling within him since Jean was given the shot instead. If that part of their life could be changed, could other parts? …Could the Rumbling?
No, it was too dangerous to hope. Too dangerous to deviate any more than already had. Eren had already willed to change so much for this heat—for Levi’s future. He couldn’t go beyond that. He couldn’t keep messing with all of their fates, knowing that one wrong move could damn them all.
Eren’s fingers carded through Levi’s hair carefully, using it as a distraction from the throbbing between his legs as he tried not to wake him, noticing how sweaty the captain seemed to already be as he knew his pheromones must be affecting him even in his sleep if the hardness pressed against him was any indication.
When Eren planned this part, it was with such strong anticipation. Punishing Levi for the club was a necessity, but it was also a punishment for himself being away from his mate’s touch for such a long time. He would never forgive him for what he did—and he would certainly never fully trust him for it, but Eren knew the alpha had suffered for his choice to listen to Erwin and sell him to that place.
Levi had suffered.
Eren had suffered.
Did that make it even between them? Did that make them square? He was such a stupid kid to fall in love. He was an even stupider one now to stay with a man who could hurt him in the way that Levi had. He may be his abuser, but he was also the only person Eren had ever truly loved. That doesn’t go away just because you’re hurting. The feelings Eren had for the man sleeping on top of him spanned lifetimes. You don’t give up on true love. Even when it hurts. Even when you fucking hate them. Levi was his. His mate. His alpha. His destiny. Fate be damned, but he wouldn’t give him up.
“Did you get any sleep?” Levi croaked, his voice hoarse against his throat as Eren’s heartbeat quickened at just the sound.
“No,” he admitted. Not seeing the point in lying as his body was too strung out to even consider sleep.
Levi nodded against his throat, nuzzling closer as he peppered feather light kisses against his pulse. “Are you hungry? Thirsty?”
Eren shook his head, the thought of food right now beyond nauseating. “I’m fine.”
“Eren?” His eyes carded over to meet Levi’s red rimmed ones at hearing the soft desperation in his tone. “Can I have you now? I won’t if you don’t want me to. I promise I won’t lay a finger on you.”
Always so concerned with his consent. That was Eren’s fault, he supposed. He had conditioned that into their coupling since the beginning. Not that it ended up mattering. Levi had still sold him off to be raped in the end. Seemed meaningless to be asked now when he knew damn well how bad the heats got.
“Do you love me, Levi?” Eren asked softly, thighs spreading slightly as Levi rolled fully on top of him. “Will you love me until the end?”
Levi sighed, leaning down to press lips against his heated forehead. “I’m yours. Whatever you need. I’ll help you. I’ll love you.”
“You’ll stay with me?” Eren asked, insides pulsing and turning molten with the words as warmth flooded from his insides.
“Forever,” Levi answered without hesitation, leaning back to stare into Eren’s eyes as he cupped his cheek. “You’re mine. My omega. My mate. My pain in the ass. My brat….”
Levi leaned down to kiss him then, claiming Eren’s lips as the world exploded behind his vision like it always did when the alpha touched him. Eren moaned, opening up for the other as a tongue slid against his own, mapping out his mouth in that utterly perfect way that only Levi could. …Not that he had experienced anyone else’s kisses. Consensually in any case.
Arousal pulsed through him as Levi ate out his mouth, wrapping his arms around the other’s neck as he was hitched up on the ratty bed, his thighs were pressed roughly open as Levi broke away from their kiss with a gasp. The alpha’s eyes had flooded with venom, the substance dribbling down his cheeks as his teeth were sharp to bite.
A nervous apprehension filled him as he saw Levi so succumbed to his own nature. This was dangerous in his heat. He knew what instincts alphas had towards omegas they wanted to mark, and no matter what Levi claimed, Eren still planned to make sure he outlived him.
He pulled him down to his mouth, distracting him from his instincts as they rolled over in bed, Eren landing on top as he moaned at the feel of the lean muscular body beneath him. “Why are you still wearing pants?”
“I got a little side-tracked…what with you destroying my entire existence a few hours ago,” Levi admitted, hands coming to Eren’s bare hips as they trailed upwards, thumbs pulling at his navel as wetness poured out of him from the simplest touch.
“My apologies, Darling,” Eren breathed, beginning to cant his hips as his body thrummed with the need for friction as he reached down between them. “Let me help.” He ripped at the ties to Levi’s slacks, yanking them over those thin hips as Levi lifted up to accommodate. His swollen cock sprang to attention as it looked almost painful from neglect.
Levi’s eyes were half hooded as he watched Eren, making him almost nervous as his hand came out to wrap around the aching length. “Do we forgive each other, then?”
Eren’s eyes flickered as he began pumping the shaft, sitting up on his hips as Levi pushed the pants the rest of the way down. “It’s dangerous to discuss this during my heat. Our emotions aren’t real.”
“They are,” Levi bit back in denial, gasping as Eren began to pump faster. “You’re mine.”
“Possessive little shit, aren’t you?” Eren asked in amusement, using the same words Levi had used on him during his first heat. “What you’ve done…I can’t forgive. Would you expect me to?”
“Then what?” Levi questioned. “You hate me forever? You hate me to the grave?”
“No,” Eren denied, thumb pressing into the slit as he smeared pre all over the bulbous head. “We don’t forgive. We move on. We grow. We don’t hurt each other anymore.” He needed to say it now. Before he fell even deeper under the sway of his pheromones and started promising Levi the world. “I won’t hurt you anymore,” Eren lied to his mate, knowing that wasn’t a promise he would ever be able to keep in the end.
“I won’t hurt you anymore either,” Levi conceded, lifting Eren up by his hips as he positioned his cock to drag against his soaked rim. “Can I have you now? I promise next time there will be more foreplay. I promise to make you see stars. I promise to never make you cry again.” He supposed it was fair in the end—Levi lied too with promises he’d never be able to keep.
Eren’s eyes welled up at just the feeling, the bulbous head dragging across his entrance over and over again as it began to twitch and spasm to get to its mate. “Would you want me if I wasn’t in heat?” He asked, not being able to help his insecurities even now as he was millimeters away from being penetrated and leaking rivulets from both ends. “Would you want me if I wasn’t an omega?”
He didn’t know why he asked the question.
He didn’t know why he could never believe in what they were.
He didn’t know why it hurt so bad to even consider the thought that Levi would tell him no.
“You are an omega,” Levi started hesitantly, nails digging into Eren’s hips. “My omega—to be clear. I’ve never known you as anything different. I want you like this. I want you always. Why ask me hypotheticals when you’re currently dripping need on my cock, Eren? Why must you constantly question me? Would you want me if I wasn’t an alpha?” Levi shook him, eyes narrowing in anger. “Would you?”
“I don’t—” Eren cut himself off, realizing it was a harder question than he had thought. All he knew was Levi’s alpha. His pheromones wrapped around him every time they had sex. His growl never ceased in calming his nerves. The possessive nature of the alpha was what he associated Levi with. His power came from being dominant. There was not one without the other. “Maybe…maybe we shouldn’t…maybe we should wait until I’m not in—
Levi flipped them over on the bed, Eren landing with an ‘oomph’ as he sucked in a breath of surprise, that breath hitching as his mate shoved his thighs apart, thrusting between them and inside of him before he could second guess this any further.
Eren groaned at the penetration, instincts lighting his entire body up with pleasure as Levi sunk deep inside him. His mouth fell open in a gasp as he filled up his insides, going deep enough that the pleasure-pain was blinding in its intensity as Levi pulled out, thrusting roughly back in as Eren screamed.
“Infuriating…moronic…stubborn…” Levi growled into his ear, rocking inside of him as Eren moved to push him away to catch a breath. The alpha growled, threading their fingers together as he shoved his arms above his head, groaning as Eren’s legs wrapped around his hips and he leaned down to angrily claim his mouth.
Their pheromones flooded the room, dancing with each other as all he could feel was Levi—all he could smell was that enthralling winter green and snow scent that was his mate. His mate. His everything. It didn’t matter what they were. It didn’t matter how much they hurt each other. This was all that mattered. They were together…they would always be together.
Always—and never.
“Levi—Levi more…harder….p-please!” Eren begged, needing more. Needing everything. Levi pistoned his hips then, pressing in deep against his prostate as Eren screamed, pleasure overwhelming him as a hand fisted around his cock, pumping him in tandem to the thrusts inside of him. “LEVI!” Eren screamed, arching up to meet those thrusts as he was soaked on both ends, Levi’s hand slippery on his weeping cock as they messily kissed.
“Oh? Now you’re happy?” Levi bit at his neck, sucking deep into his pulse as his tongue trailed along his scent gland. “Knew it…knew you just needed held down and fucked like the needy bitch you are.”
“I want your knot…” Eren begged as Levi sat back, yanking him up by the wrists and into his lap as Eren’s arms surrounded him, continuing to bounce up and down on his length as he was so soaked it was slippery. “I want you…I want you…” He begged. “Fill me up…breed me….fuck me until my belly is so distended I look pregnant…Make me fucking lose my mind with your cock.”
“Fuck…” Levi managed, his cheeks turning red in a blush as he buried his face in Eren’s neck. “I forgot how dirty you talk when you’re like this.”
Eren yanked on Levi’s hair, pulling him back as he licked a strip from his chin up to his nose, grinning down at him. “You fucking love it.”
“I fucking love you,” Levi corrected without hesitation, slamming their lips together as they messily kissed.
“I love you…I love you….” Eren agreed, batting at Levi’s hand that reached down to once more stroke him, knowing he would cum with just one more stroke. “No…No, Baby…On your knot…I want to cum on your knot…” He lapped his way into Levi’s mouth, loving the way Levi’s entire body shuddered in need at the request as he bounced on his cock. “Alpha…” he begged. “Please…”
“Gods…I wish you were this open all the time,” Levi breathed, hands digging into his hips as he rocked them. “I wish you knew what you did to me.” He cupped each side of Eren’s cheek. “You want my knot?” Eren moaned in reply, reaching down between them to stroke Levi’s cock, trying to coax the thickness inside of him. “Are you ready? I didn’t prep you.”
“Don’t need it…just you…just…” He screamed as Levi scraped his prostate, his cock spraying as he grabbed for it to stop his orgasm. “Levi do it!” He cupped his face. “Please—please I want to cum.”
“You are asking very politely,” Levi agreed, panting as he buried his face in Eren’s hair. “It’s going to be hard not to bite if I knot you.”
So?
Of course he should he bite.
He belonged to Levi.
Everyone should know.
Everyone should see.
“I’m yours…” Eren tried to reason, not able to understand why Levi wouldn’t want to in the first place as his movements stilled and they clung together.
“You are,” Levi agreed with the assessment. “But you don’t want me to bite.”
Why would he not want him to bite? Eren whined at the assessment, waggling his hips to try to get some movement as he pumped himself up and down on his mate’s cock. “Levi…”
“Stop whining at me,” Levi growled, burying his face in Eren’s scent gland. “You have no idea how much I want to.”
“Do it,” Eren begged, rubbing his scent across Levi’s lips in temptation. “Do it…Do it….”
“Fuck…” Levi managed, flipping them around again and slamming him down into the bedspread, grabbing for Eren’s hand as he grabbed for him and sinking his teeth down into the mark on his palm.
The moment Levi’s teeth pierced his flesh and the venom mixed with his blood like an aphrodisiac, Eren came in rivulets, thick ropes of cum soaking between them as pleasure overwhelmed him and he felt a hot thick knot pressing against his hole. Levi dragged it across his rim, waiting for it to catch as he thrust deep inside Eren’s overstimulated body as he came down from his orgasm, the thick hot pulsing knot causing him to cum all over again as he body whited out and sang with pleasure.
Flesh was pressed to his mouth as Levi’s knot pumped inside him, biting down without thinking as teeth sank into his alpha’s palm, arching and cumming a third time as his cock spurted what it could, while his entrance spasmed and milked what was given to him.
He moaned as a bloody mouth found him, doing his best to kiss back as he lapped at their mixed essence, his stomach swelling with the seed being pumped inside of him. They stayed joined like that for nearly an hour, neither saying a word as Eren swelled messily and they kissed with abandon.
“Levi…” Eren whined needily, stroking through sweaty hair as the alpha laid on his chest. “I want more.”
Levi chuckled sleepily, kissing Eren’s peck. “Do you?” Teeth scraped over his nipple as Eren arched in pleasure. “I forgot how insatiable you were while in heat.”
“Levi…” Eren whined again, trying to move his hips. “I want more…”
“I’m still swollen inside you…what more could you want?” Levi questioned, smiling at him as he kissed his forehead. “I can’t believe it’s been so long since we’ve done this.”
“We’ve never done this,” Eren argued, cock already stiffening between them as he licked his lips hungrily.
“Oh no?” Levi asked, more than a little amused as lips pressed against him. “Did I take your virginity then?”
“Don’t be stupid…” Eren said dreamily, smiling as he kissed Levi’s cheek.
“Well, we’ve fucked before, Eren,” Levi argued, still amused as they embraced, content to lay all his weight on the omega beneath him.
“Silly alpha,” Eren teased, nuzzling their noses as he couldn’t stop from smiling as he wiggled underneath him. “We didn’t just fuck.”
“No?” Levi questioned, kissing Eren’s bloody hand as he still smiled dopily and shook his head. “What did we do, Sweetheart?”
“It’s a secret,” Eren breathed out, trying to drag Levi to his lips, but the body above him was stiff and uncooperative. He whined in displeasure as the slowly deflating knot ripped out from him and he reached down to press fingers against his swollen and puffy hole. “That hurt.”
“A secret?” Levi growled, gripping Eren by the hair as he ripped him up to sitting. “Another secret? Again, Eren!?”
Eren laughed at the misplaced anger, straddling Levi as he hugged him close. “Don’t worry, my love, this one you’ll like.” He kissed him as Levi was still stiff, shoving him backwards onto the bed as he grinned down at him, starting to pump Levi’s slowly hardening cock. “Now fuck me again. I’m horny.”
“You’re in heat,” Levi argued, stiffening further under Eren’s ministrations.
“Same difference…” Eren mused, leaning down to kiss him as he reached back to line up Levi’s cock to his swollen hole. “Now be a good alpha…and don’t spill a drop this time.”
Hours—it could have even been days later, Eren lay content in Levi’s arms, the alpha wrapped tight around him as they both panted into the pillow. “Eren, do you promise?” Levi asked, voice sounding beyond exhausted as Eren was hardly conscious while the thrum of lust threatened to pull him down once more.
“Do I promise what?” Eren managed, eyes shutting as he couldn’t keep them open any longer, sighing in content as he was pulled even closer.
“It’s not a bad secret?” Levi asked, voice an almost desperate begging whisper against his ear.
“It’s not bad,” Eren agreed. “I’ll tell you soon…When we’re married.”
“Married?” Levi asked into his ear, an amused surprise in his tone that Eren was too far gone to read.
“Mmmm…” Eren murmured his reply. “You’re going to ask me soon.” Eren opened his hazy eyes, not able to comprehend why Levi’s were blurry with tears. “Don’t worry, I’m going to say yes.”
“You are?” Levi asked, voice shaky as fingers traced sweaty bangs out of Eren’s eyes.
“Of course,” Eren assured him, smiling up at his mate. “You know I can’t say no to you. Especially when you finally get romantic.”
“Romantic?” Levi asked quietly, continuing to stroke his hair as Eren drifted further and further.
“Yes…romantic…I’ll probably cry,” Eren assured him, twisting in Levi’s arms and dragging him back to the mattress as he laid on his chest.
“You always cry,” Levi argued, kissing the top of his head.
“Suppose that’s true, but these are happy tears.”
“You know exactly how I’ll ask then? Do you know our entire lives?” Eren hummed, loving the way Levi’s thumb stroked his hips.
“Not all of it…Just bits and pieces, but they keep changing in my head….We keep changing things.” Eren didn’t have the sense to be less honest. He’d answer anything his alpha asked him in this state—so exhausted and eager to please.
“So it can be changed?” Levi asked him, desperate and hopeful. “We can save you?” Lips pressed to the top of his head. “You know, Eren, I’ve been thinking—it might not only be 13 years. That’s for one, right? But you’ve eaten three. That’s 39 years, Sweetheart…and if you eat more…we could have a lifetime.”
“You don’t know that’s true,” Eren argued, too exhausted to get into his head about it. “That’s a faerie story.”
“It’s our story.” Levi insisted. “I’ll force feed the other six to you if I have to. How’s that for romantic?”
Eren laughed softly, forcing his eyes open as he stared up at Levi with all the love and adoration he could muster as their lips pressed together in a chaste kiss. “You say such sweet things to me, Darling.”
“I love you,” Levi murmured, kissing him again as he held his head aloft to keep him awake. “I don’t care about Marley…or saving Paradis. I care about you. I care about us.”
Eren smiled shyly, pulling him down to his lips. “Whatever you say, Levi,” he teased playfully, laughing as he was rolled on top of again. Let Levi think what he wants. Let him be happy. They deserved this much. Tears would come later. Until then he would give Levi all the false he could ever want—even if he had to be the one to take it away in the end.
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