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It had only been a few sweeps (3) since you had been employed by him, but you had known him before this whole.. rainbow drinker status had been forced onto him. Honestly, the day that he found you out on the streets, you were ashamed. Even with the lovely violin you were playing, the simple fact that things had fallen apart affected you more than ever.
Well, that and the fact that you really couldn’t remember much of your past. Call it amnesia, call it whatever you will, but the fact of the matter was that you couldn’t remember anything since before you were six sweeps old. And the thing was, you didn’t want to remember, ever. There was a reason it was blocked and you didn’t want to chance it. Not when you were happy as you were now, serving the.. vampire, Sollux Captor.
Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you owe him your life.
At the moment, he was out, leaving you to clean the hive. In all honesty, there really was not much for you to do, seeing as this was basically the same thing you did day after day. And since he would take frequent trips out of the hive, you were left alone to keep the place up. You didn’t mind it of course, and you didn’t mind being left alone, the only thing that you minded was where he was going.
Sollux was not too much of a social troll, he wasn’t when he was alive, and he wasn’t even in death. So why did he continue to leave, day after day?
You knew the reason without him having to say anything.
He was going out to feed, more than likely. Prey on some innocent troll, lure them into a sense of security, and then sink his fangs into their neck.
That was the way vampires worked, they needed blood to survive, and Sollux was no different. Why would he be? This was how he was going to be from now on, hell, now that he was a vampire, you were pretty sure that he would probably live forever now. That was how things worked, from the films and things that you had seen here and there.
The thing was, and you couldn’t explain it, but whenever you thought about him being out there, hunting, your chest hurt.
Sollux might’ve been looking for a matesprit, or a kismesis, and you were here. Because of the simple fact that you were a servant meant that you didn’t have time to fill quadrants. You would probably never have a matesprit, kismesis, or even a moirail. All of your time and energy was going to make sure that Sollux was happy, that he was living an easy life, er- death, as it were.
Which is why you should be happy if he found someone that actually made him happy, correct? Yes. You should.
Though…
The thought of that alone only made your mood slowly turn, a frown tugging on your lips. You didn’t want to think about how things would be once he found another. That would be one more person in the hive, and knowing them, they would think that you were their servant as well, just because they were in some relationship with your master. It was sickening to think about, some other troll hanging all over him, making him smile those extremely rare smiles. No. No. That wasn’t something that you wanted to see happen, but there was nothing that you could do about it.
You were just a servant. Disposable if you broke anything.
Sollux…
Could continue on without you.
And of course, you jump when the door opens, signaling Sollux’s return. His return means you need to get your ass out there and greet him. So, as briskly as you can mange, you get out to the front room, bowing your head to him.
“Welcome home, s-“
“Shut up, kk.”
Oh. Well that’s new.
You bring your gaze up to meet his, trying your best not to let the shock make itself apparent on your face.
He looked, upset would be the right word, maybe even angry. There was no one with him, meaning he probably didn’t have any luck finding a victim for the night. Well, that and the fact that he was clean, there were no traces of blood on him. This wasn’t good, and you had seen him when he went without a proper feeding. Usually it would take a few days for him to get desperate enough to the point where he would force himself on someone. Of course, he would regret it later, but he couldn’t help himself at the time.
Tonight… tonight you were going to do something about it.
You watched as he stormed off, heading back towards the “study” as the humans would call it. It might be best to let him cool down, and then ask him about what happened while he was out. It might have been out of place for someone in your position, but you wanted to. You wanted to see if he would tell you, if he maybe trusted you enough. That would be a great thing, if he did.
The two hours you waited were the longest two hours of your life that you could remember. You didn’t know what to do with yourself, you didn’t know how to occupy yourself. You couldn’t clean, there wasn’t much there that you could clean anyway. You didn’t think that you would be able to concentrate hard enough to actually play the violin. The only thing you could do, was maybe read. Which is exactly what you did once you retreated to your own room.
Finally, you found yourself standing outside his room and you tug on your tie. Did you really want to chance this?
Yes.
Yes you did.
And you weren’t going to back down, even as you lifted your hand and knocked on the door, forcing your voice to work.
“Sir, may I come in?”
A grunt is your reply, and you assume that it means you’re allowed to. You push the door open, the metal hinges creaking a bit before you slip in and shut it right behind you.
He’s sitting at a desk, still looking as pissed and upset as he did when he first walked in. You move to stand in front of the desk, and it’s now or never.
“The hunt didn’t go so well tonight, I am assuming?”
“Well no shit it didn’t go well. Do you thee me with someone’s blood on me? No. I think not. Fuck, kk, if you’re going to be an obvious little prick about this shit, get out. I don’t need to deal with-“
“Stand up, please, sir…” You interrupt him, slowly moving around the desk and tugging off your tie. You had made up your mind and once he got past the initial shock of you telling him to do something and stood up, you were in front of him, eyes looking down at the ground. You unbutton the first few buttons of your shirt, enough to tug it away from your shoulder and neck, before you look up at him.
“You.. don’t need to hunt. I don’t know why you never asked this of me, but I want to offer you my blood. It’s the least I can do to make sure that you stay happy and you don’t need to worry about going out night after night and attempting to find some sorry fool to fall for you just to make sure you have something to eat.”
You were probably flushed, but you stood by what you said. He had never touched you, never ‘fed’ off you, even though that was what you were here for. You were here to help him life this afterlife easier, and if that meant spilling your blood every once in a while, so be it. You had enough to last him for the rest of, well, your life at least. And if the time came, you would go out and find another that could serve him
Finally, you look up to him, surprised to see that he’s simply staring at you with his mouth agape slightly. Despite his eyes looking like black, empty sockets, you knew he could see. It’s just the way this change had affected him. At first, yes, it had freaked you out a bit and for the first few weeks that you were working for him, you weren’t able to look him eye to eye. Now though, it was easy to tell where he was looking, and well, at the moment he was still staring at you.
Maybe this really was a bad idea. There must’ve been a reason that he never bit you before and you didn’t even think about that. Well, it might’ve been something to do with your blood. The fact that it was candy red, not even on the charts for the hemospectrum, might’ve set him off. Of course, not even a vampire would want to have anything to do with that mutant colour. Even with living on the streets, you learned fairly quickly just how ‘important’ blood colour was, and how.. well, living on the streets was suited for someone with your mutation. So why did you think that he would want to spill your blood to survive? Then he would be tainted as well, coming into contact with that hideous colour.
“Wh.. kk? I-“
“If you don’t.. want to, that’s fine. I just thought it would be in the best interest to tell you. Because like I have told you before, I’m yours, and whatever you choose to do with me, so be it.”
He stands up, an involuntary flinch coming from you as he moves around, leaving you with your back facing the desk and him leering down on you. You can tell he wants this, he wants blood and the offer of free, no fighting to get it blood was probably a rather appealing thought to him. His expression simply gives it away, that and the fact that he’s moving closer to you now.
“I hadn’t done it before because of the simple fact that it is painful. Though you are my servant, I would rather not put you in any position that might cause you pain. And yet, here you are. Telling me to do something I’ve been fighting against.”
Your eyes drop once again. It’s so hard to look at him, it’s so hard to face someone who held so much power over you, friend or not.
It’s so hard.. to face the one that you feel an insane amount of pity for. Insane to the point where it hurts, knowing that your relationship was at a standstill, you always being the servant, him always being the master. That’s just how things were going to be, and there was nothing you could do to change that no matter how much it pulled at your heart strings.
Was it strange to feel such an amount of pity for someone who was already dead? For you, that only added to the list. Him as a whole, he was just a walking, undead ball of pity, waiting to be snatched up by someone. You wouldn’t be that someone. You would have to watch as another came into his life, and figuratively make his blood pusher pump faster. You would watch, in the shadows, as he made them into one of the undead, to keep them around with him forever, if they so choose. While you.. would simply fade away. You already knew this from the day he employed you. He was going to live on, while you were destined to die.
But that was okay, because for now you had him. He was leaning closer as you finally found your voice once more. Forced, but you were able to talk none the less.
“Pain is nothing I cannot handle. Please, do not force yourself to hold back on account of my well being. I will be fine, I assure you.”
You try to contain any sounds of surprise as he lifts you up, forcing you to sit on the desk and moving in between your legs. His fingers threaded through your hair and lightly pulled your head to the side as he leaned in. Oh god, maybe this was a bad idea. He was so close, and once he bit into you, he’d be able to feel just how insanely fast your pulse was. You weren’t scared, far from that, you were eager. You wanted to be the only one that he fed on, it gave you a rush simply thinking about it. He would no longer need to go out, he wouldn’t need to dirty his fangs just to get a meal. You would be that for him.
A small whisper that you barely heard was uttered, “I’m sorry, kk.”
Your neck burned as the skin was broken, his fangs sinking in until you were able to feel his lips against your neck. You couldn’t help yourself, your arms moving up and around him, fingers gripping tightly into the fabric of his jacket. You were unconsciously pulling him closer as your eyes clenched shut, even though you just wanted to look down at him, you just wanted to see what he looked like.
It hurt, you weren’t going to lie about that. Whatever fool decided to write about vampires, making it seem like getting bit by them was a sensual experience, deserved to be kicked in the face. Then again, this was only the first bite, and if there were more, you were sure that you would get used to them, used to the pain, and sure, over time they might become pleasurable, but for now, no.
But you weren’t going to say anything, tilting your head to the side more as his fingers left your hair, trailing down your neck, your chest and brushing over your hip before settling on the wood of the desk. His other hand hadn’t left it’s place, holding onto the arm closest to where he was biting.
You could feel his lips working against your skin, and from where he was positioned, you could feel each suck, and each swallow. He could feel your heart racing, you knew it. The blood was probably pumping through your veins faster, meaning it was flowing into his mouth quicker than it should. You shuddered, a shaky breath slipping past your lips.
You didn’t want anyone else to have the privilege of having his lips so close. You didn’t want anyone else to have him so close. Close enough to smell him, know what he was, that faint hint of roses that always surrounded him, and of course, you were always able to smell the slightest hint of honey. No one should ever be allowed to be this close to him.
You didn’t want anyone else to have him.
You were so lost in your own thoughts, in your own emotional turmoil, that you didn’t even notice that he had pulled away. He was saying your name, shaking you lightly as you slowly opened your eyes, noting that faint look of relief he had. Or maybe that was relief, you weren’t too sure. Your head was spinning a bit more than you would like, though it was understandable with the loss of blood.
“Thank god. I thought I went too far. Shit, kk, you need to give me a sign when you start getting light headed, alright? Especially if I’m going to continue to do this.”
He was going to do it again. He was going to continue to use you to help himself. You opened your mouth to speak, to tell him everything was alright, but nothing came out. No matter how hard you tried, or how much you wanted to speak, you couldn’t. Your brain couldn’t concentrate hard enough or long enough to process such a request.
So all you could do was nod and lean forward, resting your head against his chest. He was stiff for a moment, but after a sigh he relaxed, letting his arms move up and around you, pulling you closer to him. You simply close your eyes, your grip on his jacket loosening, but still holding on to reassure yourself that he was still here. Against his chest, there was no sound, no beating of his heart and yet, you felt your lips curling up into a smile.
As he blabbered on, lecturing you about god knows what, you felt yourself zoning out. You only wished that you were more conscious, you wanted to talk, hell, at the moment you felt as though you could tell him everything that had been building up over the past few sweeps. How important he was to you, to your very being.
There were words on the tip of your tongue, waiting for a signal from your brain to spill out.
I pity you.