Chapter Text
Jensen kicked the door closed behind him and carried his bags into the kitchen. Setting them down, he started to put away his groceries, shaking his head when he realised that once again he'd bought way too much food for one person. Three months of living on his own, three months of waiting for the other shoe to drop and looking over his shoulder, and he still hadn't moved on. Because he didn't want to move on. Jared was meant to be it for him, and, sure, it hadn't been perfect, but he'd been happy.
And now he wasn't. Now he was alone and miserable and barely getting through the day...which was really fucking irritating. Wasn't stuff like this supposed to get better? Wasn't that what everyone said? Well, they fucking lied, because this ache inside him, this gaping hole Jared had left in his chest, got worse every goddamn day.
He slammed the cupboard door shut when he felt tears prick at his eyes...no, he wouldn't cry again, not over Jared. Not when he was sure Jared wasn't crying over him, and why would he? Jensen was sure Jared had another twink in his bed by now, one who didn't argue back like Jensen had, one who wasn't grumpy in the morning like Jensen always was. No, Jared had probably forgotten all about him by now.
And it was Jensen's fault anyway, for getting involved with a mafia boss. What had he been thinking? Then a memory of watching Jared in the shower, all wet and huge, flashed unbidden before his eyes...oh, right...that's what he'd been thinking...
Well, maybe if he'd used his upstairs brain a little more during their relationship, Jensen wouldn't be where he was now.
But...that wasn't entirely true, was it? That wasn't the whole story. Sure, he'd been a little dazzled by Jared when they'd first met - those dimples, those dark, fox like eyes, that playful smile - and it hadn't taken much to convince him to go back to Jared's hotel room. But after that...
There had been so much more to Jared than just his looks. He'd been kind and thoughtful, and ridiculously fun to be around, so even after Jensen had found out what Jared did for a living, he'd stayed. He'd made Jared promise to keep that stuff away from him, but he'd stayed, because Jared had been worth it. And that made this all so much worse. He wouldn't miss Jared so damn much if the guy had been a little more of an asshole.
Jensen ran a weary hand down his face. He really needed to stop thinking about this; it wouldn't change anything, and all it did was leave him heart sore and depressed.
Bed.
Yes, he was just going to take a shower and go to bed; maybe tomorrow, he'd start feeling a little better about all this. New day and all that. He severely doubted it, but what other choice did he have?
So he stripped off his clothes and walked slowly across his apartment towards the bathroom. Flicking on the shower, he waited for it to heat up before he climbed inside. The water was perfect - exactly what he needed - running over his skin like a balm, soothing his tight shoulders and washing the tension from his body, and he let out a long, drawn-out sigh. It felt so good, and he was just so tired, that all too soon his eyes fell closed and his mind began to wander.
Jared used to like to surprise him in the shower. He'd just shove the door open and step inside, cutting off all of Jensen's protests - which were usually feeble at best - with a kiss as hot as the water raining down on them. Then he'd slam Jensen up against the wall, pin him to the slippery tiles, helpless and desperate, as he licked his way down his body, marking him with bites and bruises Jensen would feel for days. It was always quick and brutal after that - Jared shoving inside and owning him completely, body and soul, and Jensen had loved every second of it. And if Jensen just pressed against the wall just right, he could almost...
He yelped as the water suddenly turned cold, scrambling to turn off the cold stream without toppling over. Once he finally got it turned off, he stood there, goose pimpled and breathing heavily - well, at least that had killed his hard on - for a few moments before grabbing a towel, wiping himself down and wrapping it around his waist.
His limbs felt heavy as he walked into his bedroom, like he was sixty years old instead of half that, and he couldn't wait to just collapse into bed. Walking over to his closet, he reached in to grab a nightshirt when a voice behind him made him freeze.
'Don't think you'll be needing that tonight, Jen.'
Jensen would know that voice anywhere.
All the tiredness suddenly fled from Jensen's body, replaced by bone chilling fear, and his hand shook as he dropped it back to his side. He tried to speak, but couldn't get the words past the lump in his throat. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before trying again. 'Please, Jared,' he said, his voice barely above a whisper, 'please, don't hurt me...please...I won't...I won't tell anyone what I saw...please....'
Silence.
Then he heard Jared's footsteps behind him, scarcely audible over the loud thud of Jansen's heart and far too quiet for a man Jared's size, and waited for the press of a gun against the back of his head. His whole body shook, his legs like jelly and his hands balled into fists. But he didn't run. There was no point. Jared would always find him.
He felt Jared stop behind him and screwed his eyes shut, praying it would be over quickly, praying he wouldn't feel it.
He gasped when instead of cold metal pressing against him, he felt arms wrap around his torso and pull him back against a warm chest. 'I know,' Jared said, nuzzling his face against Jensen's neck. Jensen's heart was still pounding in his chest, his breath coming in pants, as Jared...hugged him.
What the...why...why wasn't he dead? 'Can't believe you ran away from me, baby,' Jared continued, seemingly oblivious to Jensen's inner turmoil, 'can't believe you thought I'd hurt you.'
The obvious hurt in Jared's voice - that Jensen had caused - was enough to finally break him out of his shock, and he slowly turned in Jared's arms. The look on his ex-boyfriend's face was even worse; Jensen didn't think he'd ever seen Jared look so upset. Or so tired. Which didn't make any sense, not with everything that happened that day, not with everything Jensen knew about Jared and his business. 'But I heard you...I heard what you said...'
Jared frowned and shook his head, his confusion palpable. 'What I said?'
Jensen swallowed and looked away; this was far from a favourite memory of his, and the idea of bringing it out into the open was even more distasteful to him. But he had to, because nothing was making sense right now and he really, really needed some answers. 'To Jeff and Tom,' Jensen said, his eyes fixed on the Jared's belt buckle, 'you said you were going to deal with me.' His voice cracked slightly, and he cursed himself for not being stronger.
'I don't...oh my god, Jen.' Jared's hand dropped to cup Jensen's cheek and raise his face. There was a sad smile curving his lips as he continued, 'It's not what you think, baby...I just meant that I needed to see how you were doing, make sure you were okay. I made a fucking stupid mistake bringing that into our home; you should never have had to see that, and I'm so sorry that you did.' His thumb stroked gently across Jensen's cheekbone. 'I wasn't going to hurt you, Jensen...fuck, I'd cut off my own hand first.'
Jensen's swayed a little on his feet - this was all a little too much to handle at once, not to mention he hadn't gotten a good night's sleep in three months and had spent those three months constantly on edge - but Jared was there to steady him and he quickly found himself being gently walked over to the bed. Once he was sitting down, he turned to Jared. 'You weren't...you weren't going to kill me?'
Jared's face crumbled, and Jensen almost took the question back, desperately wanted to, but he didn't. Couldn't. Because he needed to know...he needed this answer more than he'd ever needed anything in his life. Jared slowly sat down next to him, and took Jensen's hand in his as he replied, 'No, god...fuck, don't you remember what I said about anyone hurting you?'
Jensen did; Jared had told him enough times, he doubted he'd ever forget it, or forget the look in Jared's eyes when he'd said it. 'That you'd kill anyone who tried to hurt me,' he said quietly, not quite sure where Jared was going with this.
'Exactly,' Jared said, his grip tightening on Jensen's hand slightly. 'Exactly, Jen. And that includes me.' He let out a laugh then, and Jensen felt some of the tension leave his body as what Jared was saying finally started to sink in. Because this meant...this meant...'Jen, you could go to the fucking FBI and tell them everything about me, and I still wouldn't be able to raise a hand to you. I love you. I've loved you since the day I met you...there's nothing you could do that would change that.'
'Really?' Jensen asked, throat tight for an entirely different reason now.
'Really,' Jared replied, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to Jensen's lips. 'Really.'
The kiss that followed wasn't nearly as gentle, nor as chaste, as Jared pressed himself closer, licking deep into Jensen's mouth. Kissing Jensen the way no one had ever kissed him before Jared had come into his life - kissing him like Jensen was his...like Jensen had only ever been his.
Jared's hand slipped down to Jensen's waist then, thumb stroking the bare skin above the towel as they kissed, and Jensen couldn't help but shudder. Those hands, those long, long fingers, had taken him apart more times than he could count, and having them on him again sent a flood of heat coursing through him. 'Can I?' Jared whispered against his lips. 'Baby, can I?'
It took a moment for Jensen to realise what he was being asked, head too lost in the feel of Jared against him to have much room for anything else, but as soon as he did, he nodded. Of course, he nodded; he'd never been able to deny Jared anything. And it wasn't like he wanted to deny Jared this.
Even so, he couldn't help the heat that rose to his cheeks as Jared pulled the towel away. And his blush only deepened when Jared took a step back to look at him, dark eyes moving slowly over Jensen's body, unabashedly drinking in every naked inch of him. 'Jared...' Jensen breathed, voice shaking with nerves and want, and about a hundred other emotions he couldn't even begin to sort out right then.
He didn't know what he was trying to say, what he was trying to ask for, but none of that mattered because, just like always, Jared seemed to know exactly what Jensen wanted. Exactly what he needed. His hands came up to Jensen's chest, gentle but firm, and guided him backwards onto the mattress. Laying him out like some virgin offering before climbing on top of him, his body a familiar, comforting weight pressing Jensen down into the bed.
Their gazes caught for a moment, hazel boring into green, and Jensen couldn't look away. Didn't want to. 'You're so beautiful,' Jared said softly, stroking his fingers down Jensen's cheek. 'God, I missed you.'
'Not as much as I missed you,' Jensen whispered back, even though that didn't even begin to describe the pain he'd suffered these last few months. But he'd never been all that good with words, not like Jared, so instead of correcting himself, he just reached up and pulled Jared down into another kiss, hoping to pour everything he couldn't say, everything he couldn't put into words, into the slow press of lips.
Couldn't breathe...
Couldn't think...
Felt like I was dying without you
When they finally parted long minutes later, both slightly breathless and panting against each other's lips, Jared rested his forehead against Jensen's and said, 'I wouldn't bet on it, sweetheart. You have no idea how hard I looked...what I did to find you.' He ran his nose along the edge of Jensen's jaw, and Jensen's breath hitched in his throat. 'Thought I'd lost you, thought I'd finally-'
And then he was kissing Jensen again, a hard, desperate press of lips that made Jensen's heart race and had him reaching up to thread his hands through the silky strands of Jared's hair so he could pull him closer. Bring him deeper inside. He was so caught up in the feel of Jared's lips against his own, in the feel of Jared's clothes against his bare skin, that Jared's finger stroking over his hole forced a stuttered gasp from him. A gasp that quickly turned to a moan as Jared slipped the tip inside. 'God, Jared,' he breathed, rocking back against Jared's hand - fuck, he wanted him inside him...needed it - 'please...please...'
Jared cursed above him, voice reduced to nothing but a throaty growl now, and suddenly pulled away. Before Jensen could do more than whimper at the loss, though, he was back, body pinning Jensen to the mattress again, fingers slick as they slid between Jensen's ass cheeks.
Yes...yes...
He couldn't help the way his mouth fell open, back arching, toes curling, as Jared pressed his finger all the way inside. It felt so good...so long...so perfect. And then Jared crooked his finger, brushing that bright spot that sent electricity sparking along Jensen's veins, sent pleasure gliding across his skin like a loving caress, and Jensen cried out, hands flying up to Jared's broad shoulders and grabbing hold.
By the time Jared had three fingers inside him, he was almost out of his mind, head thrashing on the pillow, fingers digging into the muscle of Jared's shoulder almost cruelly. God...those fingers...thrusting into him, working him open little by little, taking him further apart with every clever flick of Jared's hand. And he just couldn't take it any longer - he was so close to coming he could almost taste it, but he didn't want this to be over before Jared was inside him.
So he wrenched his eyes open and looked up at Jared, opening his mouth to tell him that was he ready, only for his words to fail him completely when he caught a glimpse of Jared's face - when he saw his own desperation, his own need, reflected back at him.
The same longing and pain and loneliness the last few months had worn into his soul staring back at him from Jared's eyes.
His heart stuttered at the sight; even with everything Jared had said, he hadn't quite realised that perhaps their separation had been as hard on Jared as it had been on him. At least Jensen had known that Jared was safe. Jared...well, he hadn't had that luxury.
But Jensen couldn't take it back, no matter how much he might want to, so he did the only thing he could do to try and soothe the hurt he'd caused - he dragged Jared down into another searing kiss before pulling back and whispering, 'I love you,' against Jared's kiss swollen lips. 'I love you so fucking much. I need you now...please...'
And maybe that was what Jared had been waiting for because Jensen had barely even finished speaking, begging, before Jared was pushing inside, thick hardness filling Jensen up so good. 'Yes,' Jensen moaned, wrapping his legs around Jared's hips and drawing him deeper inside.
Jared grunted against Jensen's neck as he bottomed out, biting down hard enough that Jensen knew the skin would be bruised and marked tomorrow...and he didn't care. He wanted that mark. He wanted Jared's claim on him.
Almost as if he'd heard Jensen's thoughts, Jared breathed a harsh, 'Mine,' into Jensen's neck that sent a shiver down Jensen's spine.
He was far too gone to speak now, too caught up in the tantalising feel of Jared against him and inside him, but that didn't stop him from answering 'yes' with every flex of his fingers, with every clench of his thighs around Jared's hips, with every arch of his back. He was Jared's, now and forever.
The first thrust against his sweet spot had Jensen damn near screaming in ecstasy - had him writhing against the sheets as pleasure lanced through his veins like wildfire - and slamming his head back into the pillow hard enough to shake the bed. They were moving together now, two bodies as one, two halves made whole, and the ragged, festering wound that leaving Jared had torn into Jensen's chest finally healed. For the first time since he'd shimmied his way down that pipe all those months ago, it didn't hurt to breathe.
Unsurprisingly, after so many months without Jared, without any comfort other than what his right hand could provide, Jensen's orgasm crept up on him far sooner than he wanted it to. He felt the first dull crackles of it at the bottom of his spine, but before he could do much more than shake his head - not yet; he didn't want this to end yet - it crashed over him, whiting out his vision and setting his body alight.
Jared fucked him through it, long, powerful thrusts that sent Jensen's orgasm lax body jolting up the bed, until he finally followed Jensen over the edge and came inside him.
He rolled off Jensen almost immediately, flopping down on the bed next to him for a moment before turning on his side so he could look Jensen in the face. And Jensen felt his heart skip a beat as he stared back. Jared had always been a little intense, laser focused on Jensen in a way that sometimes made him uncomfortable, but none of that had anything on the way Jared was looking at him now. Like Jensen really was the only other person in the entire universe; like the rest of the world just didn't exist outside Jensen's apartment door.
It was too much - especially when his soul felt so raw, so open - but before he could look away, Jared's hand was there, catching his cheek and holding him in place. 'Promise you'll never leave me again.'
And that was a promise Jensen could easily make - he knew deep down that he wouldn't survive leaving Jared again - and he didn't hesitate before leaning into Jared's touch and nodding his head.
'Say it, Jen...I need you to say it,' Jared said, voice taking on a desperate edge Jensen had never heard before. 'Please.'
Jensen's mouth dropped open a little at that; if he hadn't heard it with his own two ears, he never would've believed it. Jared Padalecki didn't beg for anything. But he was begging now, begging Jensen, and Jensen didn't have the heart to make him wait a second longer, not when the answer was so easy. 'I promise,' he said, moving closer so that his next words were breathed against Jared's lips. 'I'm not going anywhere.'
And then Jensen kissed him.
Jared's hand tightened on Jensen's face immediately, reeling him in so he could deepen the kiss. Jensen wasn't sure how long they kissed, but by the time they pulled back, Jared's hand had migrated back down to Jensen's hip - his favourite spot - and their bodies were pressed flush against each other. Slotted together like two puzzle pieces, and Jensen couldn't help but smile at how good it felt to be back in Jared's arms. So good, in fact, that he actually felt himself drifting off, heading towards his first restful night's sleep in what felt like forever.
Just before he succumbed, though, he felt himself being jostled, and he was just about to complain - and maybe slap Jared's side for waking him back up - when he realised what Jared was doing. And, yes, this was better. Tucked against Jared's side, his head on Jared's chest, Jared's arm around his waist and their legs tangled together.
So much better.
He sighed softly, hopelessly content, and nestled closer.
The last thing he felt was Jared's lips pressing against the top of his head, a tender brush against his hair, and then he let himself fall, safe in the knowledge that Jared would always be there to catch him.
THE END.
Hope you enjoyed, guys; thank you so much for all your wonderful comments and all the kudos you've left. I think some of you were expecting a longer story with this one, but it was always just meant to be a one shot - to fill the prompt - but...I am currently writing a longer, darker mob boss!Jared fic so...watch this space, I guess, lol. Thanks again for reading. :-)