Chapter Text
Sam fumbled to grab his phone from his pants with a body adamant about still being pressed up against him. “I-it’s Rowena,” he says, then swipes to answer. Sam opened his mouth to greet and thank her for calling back but the witch automatically says, “Samuel-dear, what have I told you about mixing magic?”
Sam’s mouth clamped shut and he swallowed nervously as his face heats up. “Uh, that I… shouldn’t mix magic,” he says in a quiet voice.
“Because?” she prompts.
“B-because magic is finicky and some ingredients can be, um, counteractive towards each other which can result in, uh… catastrophic things happening.” Sam felt as if his mother was scolding him; except he’s never had a mother, and never knew what a motherly scolding personally felt like, so this sent a warm thrill and sick jab through him. If Dean found out he saw the witch as a mother figure… well he didn’t even want to think about how Dean would react. “Sorry, Rowena.”
Rowena listed off the ingredients for the spell to undo the previous ones that caused the sentience in Cas’ body.
Sam sighed. “Really? Th-that’s great, I think we have those in the bunker.”
“Just remember it won’t undo the original curse, dear.”
“Yeah, I know. But just fixing my—”
“Our,” Cas corrects.
“—Er, our mess is good enough. Dean’s out finding the witch right now.”
“Samuel-dear, are you currently housing a certain tropical angel-fish?”
Cas huffed. “I don’t appreciate being called a fish, Rowena.”
Sam huffed a laugh. “Yeah, I let Cas possess me, he needed a body, especially when we needed to communicate with him.”
“I hope he’s treating you well.”
Sam was startled, it sounded as if Rowena was worried for him, and it sent a pleasant feeling through him. “O-of course, he is, it-it’s Cas.”
“Of course I am, Sam is very important to me,” Cas says. “And further it was incredibly considerate of him to allow me this.”
“That boy is always too concerned and generous to others, for once he should focus on himself,” Rowena huffed.
“Yes, he should,” Cas agreed.
“Um, I’m right here,” Sam says awkwardly.
“That you are, darling, are you collecting the ingredients?”
“Uh, no, sorry, I—I’ll do that right now.” He froze and flushed with horror, not only was Cas’ body wrapped around him in a bear hug but they were still completely buck-ass-naked in the middle of the library for fucks sake. “Er, Cas, do you mind putting him back to sleep? It’ll probably be easier to, uh…”
“Of course, Sam.”
As soon as Sentient-Cas was out again, Sam scrambled to put his pants on, he was sure as hell not going to continue a conversation with Rowena without damn pants. He grabbed Cas’ pants too, but Cas murmured, “It’s not necessary, we’ll do that later.”
“But—” Sam flushed.
“Samuel?” Rowena's voice rang through the phone.
“Er, nothing—nothing, just, er, uh, nothing, sorry.” Sam fumbled as Cas carried his naked body back to the infirmary and laid it on the bed. Sam yanked the thin white blanket half from under him and covered his groin then Sam set out to collect the ingredients Rowena listed. “Thanks, Rowena, for getting back to us so quickly—h-how are you? Are you nearby at all?” He paled.
“I’m well, dear, and no, I’m a wee busy at the moment, if I wasn’t I’d come visit you and your churlish brother.”
“Well, Dean’s not here at the moment. You’re busy?” Sam worried, he didn’t want to bother her if she was doing something important.
“Not too busy for you boys, of course.”
“I-I promise I’ll do the spell correctly this time, you’ve already given us the incantation so if you need to go…?”
“No, Samuel, like I said, not too busy for you. If I was, I would have said goodbye already. I know you’ll perform the spell perfectly, you always do but I’d like to listen, you’re so proficient, that’s what I like about you, dear.”
Sam blushed then darkened even more when Cas agreed with Rowena and they continued to go on about his proficiency in the magic arts. It was odd considering he was a hunter and maybe it wasn’t necessarily wrong to be a witch as well as a hunter but Dean would be uncomfortable about this topic if he was here.
Dean didn’t like witches, he didn’t trust witches, and he hardly trusts Sam, so it’s just one more thing that his brother has to watch out for him. He understood that it didn’t matter to Rowena considering she was a witch but Cas is an angel and he was aware of how close Sam had been to going Darkside a number of times and this just seemed like one of those times.
“Sam?” Cas says.
Shame wrapped around him like a worn snug blanket. Like many times before he’s sure that Cas had heard his thoughts. He cleared his throat and ran a shaky hand through his hair. “I’m ready.”
Sam put his phone on speaker and set it down and started to do the spell. By the end, Cas’ body illuminated a purple tone. He reported the change to Rowena.
“It means it worked, Samuel.”
Sam sighed in relief. “So Cas’ body won’t wake up by itself again?”
“Aye. Now, remember—”
“No mixing spells, especially not without knowing if the ingredients are counteractive toward each other or call you first about it.”
“Good boy. I'll come to check in when I'm free to. You take care of my sweet boy, angel-fish,” Rowena says then hangs up. Castiel grumbles at his by-name and Sam blushes at his— my sweet boy, as if Sam was Rowena’s child.
“Er, C-Cas, just think of it like, um, r-remember how Meg used to call you a unicorn? It’s like that. A tropical fish is special, it’s different and rare and uh, you’re unique. I don’t think she means it in a, um, rude way. Although she probably likes that you don’t really like it.”
Cas was quiet for a moment. “Meg called me a unicorn?”
Sam huffs a laugh. “Yeah, it was, uh… it little before she died. We were talking about… she called Amelia my unicorn because… because I gave up the hunting life for her, she gave me… a normal life for a while, something I’ve always wanted. And… Meg called you her unicorn. I-I can’t say why, but she definitely was attracted to you, probably even in love with you.” Sam says awkwardly, jealousy bubbling under his skin again.
He was soulless at the time when Cas kissed Meg and it made him actually feel something. Cas always managed to make him feel things despite even the times he wasn’t supposed to be capable of feeling things.
“Sam?”
“Uh, anyway, um… We should call Dean and tell him we fixed the sentient thing on your body and maybe join him,” Sam says, fumbling for his phone.
Except his call was sent to voicemail. Sam listened to Dean’s voicemail tone as his breathing shallowed like something wrapped around his throat and his heart pounded against his chest. Adrenaline shot through him and his legs carried him to the library, one hand fumbling to open his laptop while his brain couldn’t manage to do anything except re-dial his brother's number.
“Sam?”
“He’s not picking up,” Sam whispers, his stomach twisted like a knife was plunged inside his belly and someone just kept twisting it. He typed furiously one-handed as the other shakily gripped his phone listening to Dean’s pre-recorded message. “He’s not picking up!” Sam said frustrated. “He’s not picking up! Something happened, we have to find him.” He tried calling again. Maybe Dean left his phone in the car? Maybe Dean put it on silent? Maybe Dean was busy—maybe getting ripped apart by a witch. No, no, no.
“How do we find him? With security cameras? That’s how he found you last time.”
“His phone is on, I’m turning on his GPS, we’ll find him that way, let’s just hope the witch or whoever’s got him doesn’t turn it off before I can get a hit. I also kept the Impala lowjacked, don’t tell Dean, I’ll never hear the end of it.” Because Dean wasn’t dead, he just wasn’t. His big brother was alive and waiting for them to save him.
“I won’t tell Dean, but I appreciate knowing this and how to do this so that I can find you two easier—I hope you don’t mind.”
“Don’t worry, I don’t. I’m gonna search where the Impala is too, just in case and you’ll be able to remember how to do it later, right?”
“Yes, I remember everything. Sam, we’ll get him back, alive.”
Sam grabbed his notebook and scribbled the address on it. “Yeah, we are,” he says determinately. He hastily gets dressed, grabs his to-go bag, and goes to the armory for a load of pre-made witch-killing bullets, and loads his gun before he heads out to find his big brother.
* * *
Dean’s car is in the driveway of the abandoned farmhouse. “What do you think?” Sam asks the angel. “In the house or in the barn?”
“Both seem highly unsafe to be in. The barn seems to be in worse shape.”
“House it is then.” Sam gets out of the truck and grabs his gun from his waistband, snapping the safety off, and heads quietly to the house.
“Hey, Cas,” Sam says in his head to keep quiet.
“Yes, Sam?”
“If I get hit with the same spell you did, what do you think would happen to me? It’ll boot you out for sure, but do you think it’ll kick me out too?”
Sam felt Cas muse on it. “Let’s not find out.”
“Agreed.” Sam peeked into the window but found no sign of people or light. “You mind—” Sam starts, but suddenly he can see clearly into the dark house. “Uh, thanks.”
“Of course, Sam.” Sam could feel Cas smiling.
Sam tested the doorknob, it was unsurprisingly locked. He crouched and took out his lockpicking kit and picked the lock. He quietly entered the house and listened for any sounds, more especially for his brother’s loud mouth, however, the house was quiet.
For a moment he feared that Dean wasn’t here, that just because his car was didn’t mean he was. But there he was, he looked passed out and tied up to an old radiator heating system but Sam was certain he was alive. He took a steady quiet breath and started for his brother.
Cas pulled him back and pressed him against the wall as they finally heard life in the house. In the next room, there was a light clatter and the floors creaked as someone moved over them. Sam’s heart was beating hard against his chest as the witch laughed.
“I was wondering when you’d show back up, angel,” she said. “You know I can always banish you from that body too?”
So she knew they were here. He glances over at his brother who was rousing from the sudden noise from the witch. They met eyes and Sam was just relieved to see his brother was in fact not dead.
“Might as well come out,” the witch continued.
Sam readies his gun, gripping it in his right hand as Cas’ angel blade slides into his left. Sam sneers, “Yeah, about that, you wouldn’t mind just reversing that, would you?”
“Maybe, if you let me—”
“Walk away? Hell, no, you lost that right when you started killing people, then you hurt Cas, and my brother, there’s no way you’re going to walk away now.” Sam rounded the corner and shot at the witch, who scrambled and dodged his bullets.
“Interesting,” the witch called out from behind the kitchen island counter. “The other body was dead but this one has a soul in it and you’re actually working together. Never seen an angel do that before.” The witch peeks around the counter but finds the possessed human missing from the room.
“What do you know about angels?” Cas growled. Sam pulled back to let Cas strike her, she fumbled to avoid Cas’ attack and while she was distracted Sam hit her with the butt of his gun across the face and made her stagger. She quickly recovered and reached blindly over to grab something from a bowl on the counter nearby. Sam took over and launched right and rolled to miss the magic the witch tossed, he landed on a knee and steadied his gun and shot twice, this time they both hit her. She screamed and crumbled to the ground, lifeless.
Sam took a breath then got to his feet and rushed to Dean’s side. “Are you okay, Dean?” Sam says untying his big brother.
Dean grins with bloody teeth. “Awesome, fuck, Sammy, you two were badass!”
Sam huffed a laugh as Cas pressed two fingers on Dean’s forehead to heal him as Dean continued, “Freaking bitch, hate it when they monologue. Kept going back and forth between telling me she’s gonna kill me, and use my blood and bones or whatever for a spell to say she’s gonna experiment with spells on me.” He shook his head. “Freaking witches, man.”
“Well, good thing she likes monologuing, gave me time to save your ass,” Sam sneered.
Dean snorts. “So this is the end of Cas-Sam, huh? Now that the witch is dead, your body should be curse-free, Cas.”
“Yes, I suppose it will be.”
Sam looks around. “We should collect her spell books and stuff, just in case. As well as store and get rid of any potions she’s got laying around, so nobody stumbles across them and gets hurt.”
“Alright,” Dean puffs.
“Just make sure you don’t touch any liquids or ingredients with your bare hands; some could be poisonous, considering the spells she’s been doing.
“Great.”
It didn’t take that long to gather everything, the witch seemed to stay on the ground floors of the old house and most of everything was in the kitchen. So they were back on the road within an hour. Cas and Sam followed behind Dean in Cas’ truck which they used to drive there.
Sam was relieved to be back at the bunker and he could tell that his brother was too.
“Oh, I forgot,” Dean says, as they make their way through the bunker. “Did you two end up fixing Cas’ sentient problem?”
“Yeah, all fixed. Rowena said she’d visit when she could.”
Dean rolled his eyes. “Great, she’s just as bad as Crowley. Not only do they always bitch about each other but they always show up and act like they own the place.”
Sam smiled. It was kind of funny; he didn’t really like Crowley, but he tolerated him because Dean was buddy-buddy with the demon, and Dean didn’t really like the witch but Sam assumed Dean knew that he enjoyed Rowena’s company a bit so Dean tolerated her.
They entered the library and Sam’s heart shot up into his throat. The table is downright messy and Sam quickly remembers why. He and Sam had sex on it with Cas’ sentient body. Then he remembers that Cas’ body is still naked in the infirmary. He blushes and pales as he glances at his brother.
Dean stretches and heads toward the hallway that leads to the bedrooms as well as the infirmary, unaware of Sam’s panic. “I’m gonna go take a shower then I’ll make you your celebratory burger, Cas,” he says.
“Yes, I can’t wait to try it. Sam and I will pick up the library a little,” Cas responds.
“Nerds,” Dean quips, not turning around.
Sam watches as Dean turns left toward the bedrooms. He sighs out a relieved breath, then quickly goes to the door and waits for Dean to disappear around the corner before rushing right toward the infirmary.
“Jeez, Cas, just left you naked and—shit, you still have cum on you and-and inside you. Sorry.” Sam whispered hastily as he scrambles to grab a cloth and wet it down.
“It’s alright, Sam,” Cas says quietly. “I’m not exactly shy or appalled as a typical human would be with exposed genitals.”
Sam huffed a laugh, face heating up as he started to clean the cum off Cas’ stomach. “Still could have given you little more decency than just a thin part of a blanket.”
“You were distracted, I don’t blame you.”
Sam awkwardly paused and his face burned. “Do you want to wash the cum out of your, uh…”
Cas shrugs. “Just leave it, Sam.”
“L-leave it?” Sam squeaks.
“I’ll clean it later.”
“Uh…”
“Sam, if you’re going to re-dress my body, I suggest you do that now or Dean will come back. Honestly, I don’t care enough if he sees my body naked but you do and he’ll question why I’m naked.”
Sam looks at the door, Dean said he was going to take a shower so they most likely have time but he quickly dresses Cas’ limp body as if Dean would be back at any moment because maybe he could. He ended up doing a quick superficial swipe of Cas’ ass to clean any cum that leaked out of him before throwing on his underwear, pants, and button-up. He left both of Cas’ coats and his tie and shoes off.
He was back in the library putting books away, the table already sanitized, when Dean walked in freshly showered. “Burgers in twenty minutes, tops,” he announces.
Cas beams at him. “May I watch?”
Dean shrugs. “Sure, but it’s not all that interesting.”
Cas puts the rest of the books down on the table to put away later and he follows Dean to the kitchen. “I’ll most likely not be able to replicate it but at least I’ll know how to cook and possibly make a burger.”
Sam and Cas are a little fascinated by the way Dean cooks. Sam knew he was good with his hands, he cooked well enough that it tasted better than diner food but watching Dean move around and really focus on cooking was entertaining. It was like if they weren’t hunters this could have been Dean’s calling, alongside being a mechanic, of course. And the way that he’s cooking seems almost like he’s…
“Making it with love,” Cas finishes.
It gains Dean's attention, he glares at them. “Ugh, Cas, come on, stop saying that.”
“Well, you certainly aren’t making them out of hate.”
“It’s just weird, man. Nobody says that.”
“It’s a metaphor, Dean.”
“I know it’s a metaphor, Cas, it’s still weird.” He glares down at the sizzling pan almost sulkily.
“As weird as making something with blood, sweat, and tears? Now that sounds unsanitary and like something no one would want to eat. And people do say that, Dean.”
“No one says that.”
“It’s on the internet, there’s books and articles of people saying it. It’s said, Dean,” Cas argues.
Sam huffs a laugh. “People do say it,” he agrees.
Dean glares over at them again. “Oh, shut up, we don’t say it, we don’t.”
“I say it,” Cas says.
Dean rolls his eyes. “Obviously. Shut up so I can concentrate. You want me to burn them?”
Cas shuts up but he continues to smile as he watches Dean craft.
As Dean is putting the burger together on a plate, Cas gazes at it considering. “Hmm.”
“What is it?”
“I’m just thinking, how much better would it be to put honey in it?”
Dean looks a little grossed out. “Why would you…” He shakes his head. “Nevermind, it’s you and Sammy, together, of course, you want to put honey on my masterpiece to make it an abomination.
Sam kind of cringed at the word but laughed nonetheless. “I’m sure it’ll be good.”
“Like I said, you and your weird concoctions. Knock yourself out, you two, make it abominable.”
Cas went to the cupboard and grabbed the bottle of honey. He went to the table where Dean carried the plates over. “At least try it without the honey first, Cas.”
“Okay. Then honey.”
Dean rolled his eyes and took a bite of his own burger, but was watching Cas as he lifted the sandwich to his mouth.
“So? Do they make you ‘very happy’?” Dean taunts, a smug smile on his face. He already knows the answer. Sam’s face all but lit up.
It took only a moment for Cas to realize what Dean was specifically referring to. Cas smiles goofily at Dean. “Yes, it does. I can taste the love dripping off of it.”
Dean’s cheeks picken. He shakes his head. “No, no, you don't, that's the excessive amount of honey dripping off of it. Shut up and eat.”
Cas and Sam laugh.
* * *
Cas is still licking the taste of honey off his lips as Dean collects the empty plates. “I’ll clean up, why don’t you go get back in your body now that you can.”
Cas nods and makes his way to the infirmary. He can feel Sam’s loss despite Cas having not left yet. The angel smiles. “I know we’ve talked about this, Sam, but I can't express how much this means to me. Allowing me this.”
Sam chuckles. “I trust you, Cas.”
“And I still can’t understand that, but I’m grateful and… touched by your boundless compassion.”
Sam scoffed. “You can’t understand why I trust the angel that turned his back on and lost everything for two brothers? You can’t understand why I trust you, you, who tries to help us and heal us when we need it and not ask for anything in return? You can’t understand why I trust someone that loves and cares for us?”
“Your utter devotion is a little impossible to compete with. I’ve hurt you, multiple times, yet you still…” Cas stares down at his body, he wants to feel one more thing from the soul that's snug against his grace. “You amaze me, Sam,” he says.
The soul that has been beaten and tortured, and continues to throb in pain from the abuse, brightens and pulses in affection. Cas could all but hear his name thrumming from Sam.
“Sam, it’s definitely okay to say no, but may I… May I leave a piece of myself with you?”
His soul immediately rings yes! Sam’s body warms at the sentiment. “Wh-what for?” he croaks. “What would that do to you?”
Not ‘what would it do to me’ but ‘what would it do to you’. “My grace will recharge over time, I probably won’t even feel that it’s missing. But I’m hoping… that leaving a piece of me with you will keep us connected, maybe help you heal, or… It’s okay if you don’t—”
“I don’t mind,” Sam says. I certainly don’t mind! Sam’s mind adds.
“Thank you, Sam,” he says.
Cas steps closer to the bed. He places a hand beside his head and leans down, barely an inch between Sam’s mouth and his own, causing Sam to blush and imagine closing the space between them to kiss him again. Cas wants to but he wants their next kiss to be him and Sam together, not them and an empty vessel. Castiel exits Sam’s body and takes back his own, both saddened to leave Sam but eager for what could emerge from what had taken place already.
He had not meant to invade Sam’s privacy as much as he had in the time he was possessing him, but the boy was both adamant about them both being in control which meant sharing a mind, and what Sam felt and thought flowed onto Cas and Sam was sometimes too slow in pushing a few thoughts away to hide them from him. Cas felt it was obviously fair to share his own thoughts and feelings back, even if he could keep it to himself with ease.
Sam stepped back, clearing his throat and pushing a hand through his hair. “H-hey, Cas.”
“Hello, Sam,” Cas smiled as he sat up. Sam watched hypnotized as Cas’ tongue swiped over his bottom lip. “Uh, Cas, uh—” They stared at each other for a moment.
Cas cocks his head. “What is it, Sam?”
“Um, a-about, uh—” Sam jumps as his brother walks in. “Cas, good to have you back, man, you know, in your own body.” Dean clapped him on the shoulder.
“Yes, no offense to Sam, but this one does fit me better.” Cas looks over at the younger Winchester. He takes a moment to look briefly deeper inside Sam, the grace he left was snuggled up against Sam’s soul just as he assumed it would be.
Sam huffs a laugh. “None taken. Bet you’re glad to be back in your body alone, huh?”
“Yes, but the experience you’ve given to me, I enjoyed very much. So thank you, Sam.”
“O-of course, Cas. But you know, sometimes, if you want to, I could, uh, let you possess me again to, you know, taste things again. I know that was one of the things you enjoyed doing.” Sam glanced at Dean to see if he disapproved then back to Cas to watch him lick his lips again, ocean eyes focused on him. Sam swallowed and found himself feeling weak and warm. He wanted to reach out and touch Cas.
“It was one of many things I enjoyed, yes.”
Dean looked between them awkwardly, sensing something happened between them and it certainly didn’t seem like something he wanted to know about, what with the eye-fucking they’re doing and the way his brother is blushing and with Cas’ vague hinting. Dean inches backward, toward the door. “Uh, right, okay, um, you know, I’m exhausted, I’m gonna go get some shut-eye.”
Sam cleared his throat, and looks over at him. “Okay, night, Dean.”
Cas remains trained on Sam as he says, “Goodnight, Dean.”
He briefly sees Cas reach out and grab Sam’s hand and stand up from the bed before he’s out of the room and making his way to his room. He smiles knowingly and plans to sleep with his music blasting tonight.
Sam cleared his throat, the flush darkening his cheeks and reddening his ears. He glances at Cas’ hand gently gripping his wrist.
Cas tilts his head at him. “What is it?”
“Um, well, how, uh, how are you?” Then at Cas’ confused look, Sam continued, “Your body, how is your body, uh, you know, from the… from before?”
“Oh. I still have your cum inside me,” he says.
Sam chokes and huffs out a shaky laugh as his face heats up even more. “Th-that’s not, um, that’s not what I was asking.”
Cas grinned at him. “I’m okay, Sam, you worry too much.”
Sam swallows and shyly tugs his hair behind his ear. “So, um, what was it about you, uh… wanting to kiss me?”
Cas’ eyes crinkle pleasantly. “That I wanted to… and I still do.”
“Huh. You know… I want you to do that too.”
“Then I suppose you should lean down so I can or would you rather me toss you up against a wall?”
Sam laughs breathlessly and steps forward, he cups Cas’ face and they kiss just like Sam imagined. It isn’t like the pizza man-move he did with Meg but the angel is assertive and insistent about mapping out his mouth. And Sam surrenders to him, just like he knew he would.
“Taste like honey,” Cas says, moving his hand from Sam’s wrist to his waist, pulling them closer together as he takes Sam’s breath away; the other tangles into his hair.
“Cas,” Sam sighs, but Cas kisses his words away again and again.
“I’m very, very glad that I can touch you like this now,” Cas says, finally pulling away to let Sam breathe.
“Me too, so hurry up, Cas,” Sam pants, snuggling into the angel’s firm body.
Cas grins. “I’d rather savor the moment than rush.” The angel’s hands slip under Sam’s shirt.
“Shit, just touch me!”
“Oh, I am, and I will. I will touch every part of you, inside and out. So perfectly formed, I’m going to enjoy finding the places that make you—” Sam moaned and pushed into the angel’s caressing hands. “Yes, like that. Makes you ache in pleasure.” Cas leans up and kisses Sam’s bared neck. “You’re sensitive here.”
“Shit!”
“Yes, I saw that. And the thing with your hair.” Cas curls his fingers in the hunter’s hair again and tugs, causing Sam’s toes to curl and stifle a moan. “I’m pretty confident I’ll be able to take you apart, just how you like.”
“Fuck, Cas.”
“We have all night. It’s just you and me. What do you say, shall we head to your room?”
“Please, yes, Cas.”