Work Text:
Lucy is in the middle of making a cup of coffee when her phone rings. Her personal phone, and not her station-issued one. Frowning, she reaches for it. Most of her friends know not to call her while she’s on shift (hell, most of her friends work with her), and she’s not currently speaking to either of her parents. Chris hasn’t called her in a few days, and she’s not even sure she wants it to be him. They’ve been having fun, and he’s a nice guy, but…
“Hello?” she says, pressing her phone to her ear as she dumps half of the bottle of creamer into her cup.
“Lucy?”
Lucy frowns, confused, when she recognizes the voice on the other end of the phone. “Ashley? What’s up?”
She hasn’t spoken to Ashley much since their double date. Honestly, every time she’s seen Ashley since then, the other woman pretends it didn’t happen (or that she doesn’t exist).
Ashley doesn’t answer right away, and Lucy sighs, pouring coffee into her half-filled cup of creamer. She tucks the phone between her shoulder and ear as she stirs and takes a sip. “Can you not get a hold of Tim or something? He’s not actually with me today. I’m buried under piles of paperwork, and so is he.”
She doesn’t mention that she’d brought him lunch earlier, when she’d noticed that he hadn’t left his desk. They’d barely talked, but they’d exchanged smiles and a quick comment on how much paperwork sucked.
“No, I actually wanted to talk to you.”
“OK,” Lucy says, and takes another sip of coffee as she heads back into the bullpen. She’s heading straight to her desk, but she sees Tim out of the corner of her eye and sends him a smile and a wave. He smiles back, and then turns back to his own paperwork as he runs his fingers through his hair. It’s a mess; he’s been doing that all day, and Lucy thinks it looks downright adorable.
“I’ve been thinking about this for a while actually, but I was working up the courage to talk to you about it. I didn’t want to talk to Tim, because,” Ashley pauses, and then makes a frustrated noise on the other end. “Just because.”
“Whatever it is, I’m listening,” Lucy says, and sits down, rearranging her phone so she can grab a pen and multi-task. She’s had to help Tim salvage his relationship more than once; she can do that and knock out a few forms.
“I don’t think you should be Tim’s aide. I think it’s unprofessional and inappropriate.”
Well. Lucy hadn’t been expecting that.
“Um, come again?” she says, and drops the pen, her entire focus now on the phone call. “Why not?”
“He was your training officer, and you guys are friends. I just think it’s unprofessional. You could ride with anyone else. I just think it’s weird how close you guys are and I think you should back off.”
Lucy is flabbergasted.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t think it’s unprofessional at all. We make a good team. We always have each other’s backs, and we know each other. We can communicate in any situation, and he’s saved my ass just as many or more times than I’ve saved his.”
Ashley is quiet for a moment, so Lucy continues to talk.
“Us riding together and me being his aide isn’t in any way inappropriate,” she says, and as she realizes as she talks that she’s beginning to draw attention — Tim’s attention, specifically. She knows that there’s no way he can hear exactly what she’s saying from across the bullpen, but she knows that he’ll be able to read her tone and body language and see that she’s upset. She makes a conscious effort to relax, and turns her attention back to the conversation. “That’s not the problem. So tell me what it really is, Ashley.”
Ashley makes a noise over the phone that Lucy could swear is a sniffle, and she wonders if the girl is crying. She hopes not; she doesn’t really want to ride with Tim tomorrow after Ashley tells him that Lucy made her cry.
“I just want you to stop riding with him,” she says, but she doesn’t offer anything else.
Lucy really doesn’t have time for this. She has so much paperwork to do, and she was hoping to finish by dinner so that she could take Kojo on a walk with Tim before his date with Ashley.
“Why?” she asks again, and her voice is growing testy. “Look, if you’re not going to tell me, I really have to get back to work, and —”
“I want you to stop being his aide because I think you’re in love with him and he’s mine. You need to back off.”
Lucy sits back in her seat, unable to speak.
“Um,” she says, and she knows it’s not a very eloquent response, but she can’t come up with anything else. Ashley continues as if she hadn’t spoken.
“That double date? That was a joke. That was like me and Chris being third wheels while you guys flirted, and I’m not comfortable with you spending twelve hours a day with my boyfriend. He picked me, not you.”
Lucy finds that her reaction this time isn’t confusion — it’s anger.
“Look, I don’t know what you think you saw that night,” she says, and she knows she has to finish this conversation; Tim has just stood up, and is walking toward her with a concerned look on his face. “But it’s not like that, and I will not stop being his aide.”
She manages to hang up the phone just as Tim reaches her. He props a hip on the desk she’s working at and gestures to the phone as she stares at it in astonishment.
Had that really just happened?
I think you’re in love with him.
“What was that?” he asks, and she shrugs, tossing her phone face down on the desk and dropping her head into her hands.
“Nothing,” she says, and Tim kicks her shin with his boot, causing her to look up and meet his eyes. He looks… concerned, almost, and she sighs, giving in. He really can read her too damn well. “That was …. Um, that was Ashley.”
Tim looks taken aback, and Lucy shrugs as she sits back in her seat.
I think you’re in love with him.
She’s never going to get the fucking paperwork done at this rate.
“What did she want?” Tim asks, and Lucy does not have time for this.
“Ask her tonight,” is all she says, and she knows she shouldn’t be brushing off Tim’s concern like this, but fuck, she’s always helping him through his relationship problems. She softens her tone and sighs, adding, “I don’t feel like it’s my place to tell you.”
Tim nods once, and stares at her for several more seconds. She’s desperate for him to return to her desk, because Ashley’s words are running through her brain on a loop and him being right here is making it hard for her to ignore what she’d said.
I think you’re in love with him.
The thing is…
Lucy sighs and drops her head onto her desk as Tim walks away. He doesn’t look back, and she’s grateful. Because the thing is …
Ashley might be right.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Tim does end up asking her if she wants to take a walk with him and Kojo, but she says no for probably the first time since he’d adopted her dog. She’d spent the entire day trying to ignore what Ashley had said, and had only barely managed to finish her paperwork before six.
All she wants to do now is hang out on her couch with some terrible reality show and a bottle of wine.
The only problem is, once she’s on the couch and halfway through the wine, she doesn’t feel any better.
I think you’re in love with him.
Lucy’s less mad that Ashley was right, and more mad at herself that she had let it happen without realizing it.
How had she not realized that she was in love with her former TO, current partner, reluctant friend, and dog-co-parent?
It did make a lot of things make sense, though, she thinks, taking another pull from the wine bottle. It’s sickeningly sweet, but it’s all she has, and at this point she can’t afford to be picky.
It made the way she felt every time she saw Ashley make sense. It made how she felt when she was with Chris make sense. Yeah, they had fun, and she liked him, but it wasn’t the same as when she was with Tim. When she was with Tim, she was… calm. When she was with Tim, no matter where they were, she was calm and at home.
It made the warm feeling in her chest when he smiled at her make sense.
The way she would smile and giggle to herself when he would send her cute pictures of Kojo (and, memorably, one time of him and Kojo).
The way she gravitated toward him whenever he was near.
The way she teased him about his relationships and dates with a smile on her face while she felt like her heart was breaking on the inside.
I think you’re in love with him.
Fuck.
She was.
She was in love with Tim.
Maybe Ashley was right. She probably shouldn’t be Tim’s aide if she was in love with him. That’s a disaster waiting to happen, and she wouldn’t be able to live with herself if something happened to him because she was distracted by her newly realized feelings.
Lucy reaches for her phone immediately. Not because she’s going to tell him she's in love with him, of course. She’s not an idiot. He’s in a relationship, a happy relationship, with Ashley.
But she needs to tell him that she won’t be riding with him tomorrow.
Or the day after.
He should probably find a new aide, someone who isn’t hopelessly in love with him.
The phone rings twice before Tim picks up, and Lucy realizes too late that he’s on a date with Ashley.
Why the hell had he picked up?
“Lucy?” comes his voice, and she can hear a hint of concern.
“Sorry,” she says quickly, and presses the heel of her hand into her eyes. “I’m an idiot. Sorry, I forgot you were with Ashley tonight. This can wait. Sorry.”
She hangs up and falls back on to her couch, cursing herself for being an idiot. How had this day gotten out of control so fast? How had she —
She’s cut off when her phone rings, and a glance at the screen tells her it’s Tim. She’s tempted to not pick up, but she knows if she ignores him for too long he’ll drive over her and break her door down, so she closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and answers it.
“Do not hang up on me,” Tim says, and Lucy smiles.
“I won’t,” she promises, and then presses a pillow over her face.
“Why did you call?” he asks, and Lucy can hear the sounds of a restaurant through the phone.
“It’s not important. Go back to your date with Ashley,” she says, and Tim makes an irritated noise on the other end.
“I stepped away for a minute. Look, you don’t call me normally unless there’s a reason. You text. So, spill.”
Damn him.
I think you’re in love with him.
“I can’t be your aide anymore,” she says quickly, and then bites her lip when she hears his quick intake of breath.
“What? Why the hell not?” he demands, and Lucy remembers why she’d wanted to do this over the phone. If she’d waited until tomorrow, in person, she wouldn’t have been able to go through with it. She would have given in, smiled, and pretended like nothing was wrong, because she couldn’t say no to Tim.
“It’s not a big deal, I just think Ashley was right.”
“Ashley was right about what?” Tim asks, and Lucy wants to get off the phone. She needs to get off the phone, or she’s going to say something she regrets.
“Ask her about it, I’m sure she’ll tell you. Just tell her she was right and I’m sorry, please?”
She hangs up the phone before he can respond, and turns it on silent. She flips it over where she can’t see it, wraps a blanket around her shoulders, and settles in to watch another episode of her favorite trashy TV show.
He’s in front of her doorstep less than an hour later.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“Open the damn door, Boot,” he demands, and Lucy thinks he might actually break it down if she doesn’t.
She’s in her pajamas, no make up, and her hair is a mess. She’s still wrapped in her blanket, and has been having a little pity party on her couch for the better part of the last hour that had involved the rest of the wine and most of a tub of ice cream.
She’d denied her feelings for so long, there was no reason she couldn’t continue to do it. She was determined to feel sorry for herself tonight, and then put on her big girl panties and deal with it in the morning. Nothing else had to change, she thought. She just wouldn’t ride with Tim any more, and she’d try to stay out of his and Ashley’s way.
“I don’t want to,” she says honestly, and presses her forehead against the wood.
“Open it,” he says again, and she’d expected him to be angry. If Ashley had told him everything she’d said to Lucy (and the fact that Lucy was love with him, which she’d pretty much confirmed when she’d told Tim that Ashley had been right), then he should be mad at her.
But his voice is quiet now, and there’s a hint of desperation in it.
“I don’t want to talk to you,” she says, and it’s a blatant lie.
She always wants to talk to him. To be with him. To be near him.
“You’re a fucking liar, Lucy. Now open the damn door.”
She does, because she’s an idiot.
She hasn’t even looked up to meet his eyes when she’s enveloped in a warm embrace, and she finds herself stiffening in his arms. He presses his forehead to her neck though, and she can feel him trembling in her arms.
“Ashley told me everything,” he says, and Lucy is confused. She pushes away from him and forces herself to meet his gaze. There’s something desperate in his eyes, and she’s confused.
“Tim,” she begins, and he herds her forward, closing the door behind them.
“She told me everything she said to you, and you said she was right. Was she right, Lucy?” he asks, and she can deny him nothing.
“Yes,” she confirms, quietly, and she wants to melt into the floor. She doesn’t want to see his reaction. He’ll let her down easy, she knows. He’s not cruel. He’ll let her down like he was going to in the shop, on her last day as a rookie.
“Thank God,” he breathes out, and suddenly his lips are on hers.
She kisses him back for one blissful, invigorating moment, and then pulls away, her brows furrowed.
“Tim,” she says, and he looks down at her. His eyes are glazed over and his cheeks are flushed, and he’s smiling.
Or, he was smiling.
Now he looks terrified.
“I’m sorry,” he says, and he steps back. “Oh, fuck, did I misunderstand? Oh shit, I’m so sorry, Lucy. I didn’t mean to —”
“Tim, shut up and tell me what the hell is going on,” she demands, and Tim takes a deep breath, pulling away a few inches and putting the kitchen island between them. He looks hesitant, like he doesn’t actually want to say anything, but after he kissed her, all of his cards are on the table, he supposes.
“Ashley told me that she asked you to stop riding with me because you were in love with me. And, you told me she was right, so I thought —”
Lucy cuts him off again. She’s never seen him this flustered, and if she weren’t so confused and terrified of having her heart broken, she might think it was cute.
“I am,” she says, and then bites her lip and crosses her arms over her chest, looking down at the kitchen island. “In love with you, that is. Why aren’t you mad at me?”
Tim moves quickly. He doesn’t touch her, because he’s not sure he should , but he stands close to her, his hands hovering, his eyes full of concern and something she’s too scared to name.
“Mad at you? Lucy, I’ve been in love with you for forever. I thought… In-in the shop, on your last day as a rookie, when you said… that, I was … I was so hopeful for a moment, and then I thought about your career and how anything between us would ruin it, and so I started to turn you down. And then you said it was a joke, and that broke my damn heart, Lucy. It broke me, but I ignored it and moved on. I focused on being your friend, and ignoring my feelings. That’s why I started dating Ashley, because she was nice and I liked her, but she wasn’t you. So when she told me that tonight, I just… I got up and left. I needed to be here, to be with you.”
Lucy can’t speak.
I’ve been in love with you for forever.
“Tim,” she manages, and she reaches out to put her hand on his arm.
He takes her touch as permission and the dam breaks.
She’s in his arms and pressed up against the kitchen island within seconds. His lips are on hers again, and she knows she should push him away. They need to talk. She needs to make sure he’s broken up with Ashley, because she will not be the side chick. And, fuck, she needs to break up with Chris, too.
She needs to make sure that he’s for real, because if he’s not and this is a joke (she knows it’s not. He would never hurt her like this) then she’ll break. She’ll break, and she’s not sure she’d be able to put the pieces back together again.
But all she wants in that moment is to be right where she is, so she ignores the little voice in her head and kisses Tim back.
I think you’re in love with him.
Lucy smiles against Tim’s lips.
I am. I am so in love with him.