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I'm a minor

Summary:

Izuku saw Hitoshi freeze at the empty threat and sent a reassuring nod. “Don’t worry Hitoshi, it’s fine. He can’t kill us without our consent.”

“W—what?” stammered Shigaraki.

Izuku made unwavering eye contact with McCrusty, “I’m a minor, I can’t legally die unless I consent.”

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Inspired by This is Not an Act of Spite by Alex_Wants_To_Die, Ella (ellabellachicketychella)

Notes:

pls enjoy my insanity

edit: OH MY GODS WHY IS THIS ON TIKTOK!?
hello people?

Work Text:

Shinsou knew training to be a hero was going to be hell, but they honestly did not expect to be tied up like some kind of damsel in distress while their classmate was being interrogated. Said classmate was tied down to a chair on the opposite end of the room with Dabi practically shoving a knife into their throat.

“Come on now, I know for a fact you know what the heroes are planning. They have been quiet for too long and you know I will do anything for information.”

Including fuck a chicken, apparently.

A quiet scoff was the only answer. Green eyes rolled pointedly, trying to antagonize the burnt chicken nugget of a villain. “Listen, Dabi. We all know they don’t tell us shit.”

Well, that was new. Midoriya was not someone who cursed. In fact, Shinsou had only seen it happen once when Bakugou got his ass handed to him by a villain, a fond memory for most of their class. It had made Izuku mad enough to cuss the villain out, insulting their mother, their entire bloodline, and their dog. How the bush knew the villain had a dog, no one was brave enough to ask.

Anyways, back to current events.

Midoriya was staring at the corpse man, “I don’t want to be here. You don’t want to be here. It seems we want the same thing, so why don’t you just run along and we can continue our escape attempts in peace, thanks.”

Dabi straightened his back, truly an impressive feat ‘cause the fucker was gayer than a limp wrist. Turning on his heel, -oh my god he was in theater too!- he left the two heroes-in-training alone in the room.

Hitoshi made eye contact with Izuku. Raising one eyebrow à la Aizawa, “So, you come here often?”

A bark of startled laughter escaped Izuku, “Well, I’m glad one of us kept some humor. I know this is kinda keeping us from our date with Shoto but hey, bonding time!” A bright smile was flashed their way. “Did they take all of your knives? Toga took my detachable pockets.”

“Izuku, please stop calling your utility belt ‘detachable pockets’. And yes, they took everything.” Hitoshi wiggled a bit against the ropes tying them to the uncomfortable chair. The rope did not budge an inch. “He said he wants information about the heroes, but fuck even I haven't heard anything.” Hitoshi hung their head, no plan of escape coming to light. No way to get out of here without some semblance of maiming.

Before Hitoshi could complete jumping into a panicked spiral, the door slammed open. Whipping their heads around to the sound, they were met with the leaders of the League. Toga and Twice at least looked excited to see them, the other two not so much. Mr. Handsy led the pack with his signature crusty AF lips split into a jokeresque grin. “Hello, heroes. Now, Dabi told me you were being uncooperative, but we have ways of getting you to talk.” The creep tilted his head like a bird, focusing solely on Izuku. For some unknown reason, cough they were a fucking main character cough, Izuku was always the first one targeted.

Toga skipped ahead of handjob boi and circled around Izuku, “Come on cutie! Just listen to Shiggy and then we can totally hang out! Wouldn’t that be fun!?”

“Lots of fun! Fun with heroes!? Never!” Twice as per usual was confusing but seemed less hostile than the twig fuckers.

“Yeah, that sounds like fun. You think Shiggy here could lend me a hand, he has plenty.” Izuku grinned, not a smile. It wasn't nice. This grin was of Nedzu, thin and calculating. That meant there was a plan or at least scraps of a plan in Izuku’s brain. Thank god, Hitoshi had nothing.

Shigaraki bristled and stalked over to the teenager. “You know I could just kill you now to make a point to those fucking useless heroes right?”

Well, that wasn’t good. What the hell was Izuku thinking?

Izuku saw Hitoshi freeze at the empty threat and sent a reassuring nod. “Don’t worry Hitoshi, it’s fine. He can’t kill us without our consent.”

“W—what?” stammered Shigaraki.

Izuku made unwavering eye contact with McCrusty, “I’m a minor, I can’t legally die unless I consent.”

The room froze.

Time stood still as an awkward silence enveloped the space.

Dabi chose this exact moment to give up and just left the room, shoulders hunched and a migraine forming on his brow. “I don’t get paid enough for this shit.”

Hitoshi started cackling, bending forwards, and unfreezing the villains.

“It doesn’t work like that. It doesn't- it doesn't work like that, right?” Shigaraki glanced at both of his accomplices in confusion. “Right?!”

Toga shook her head. “No, I think… I think he has a point.”

Twice nodded and shook his head on repeat, seemingly as confused and enlightened as the rest of them.

“Wait, what did you just call them?” Hitoshi realized they could use this.

The room froze again.

The playing field was set with mines.

“Go ahead, repeat what you just said.” Hitoshi narrowed their eyes. “I can’t believe you assumed their gender. Look! Look at the tiny they/them!”

The villains turned around to face Izuku who was actively trying and failing to hold back fake tears. The poor minor had eyes like a baby deer and the look of a puppy that had been abandoned and kicked on the way out the door.

“Oh, oh no.” Toga looked horrified. “Oh, shit! I am so sorry!”

“It’s okay, my dad doesn’t believe in they/them either. I’m used to it at this point, it’s fine. I have a therapist for a reason. Maybe I should move up our next session.”

Twice looked like he was going to cry as he reached toward Izuku, collapsing to the ground in shame. There was no conflict in the man, only pain.

Toga actually looked ready to cry as she babbled about the late Big Sis Magne. “Nonono! Genders are more than two! I know this! I didn’t- I didn’t mean to-” A single tear escaped the blonde, “I promise- I’ll do better! I’m so sorry! What would big sis do? I-” She continued vomiting words but moved to untie Izuku as some sort of apology.

Izuku stood stiffly, wiping more tears, “Can- can we just go? Do this again some other time?”

Toga nodded frantically and gestured toward Hitoshi. Shigaraki seemed haunted with a thousand-yard stare, not moving an inch to stop Izuku. Twice lay crumpled on the floor, seemingly dissociating.

Slowly as to not break the spell of misgendering and implied misconduct with minors, Izuku crept toward Hitoshi, quickly untying and shuffling them towards the door.

Neither teenager spoke until they were at least a few blocks away from the temporary base of the villains.

“......So, wanna see if we can still catch that movie with Shoto?”

Fuck yeah.”

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Notable Quotes:

R: “One second, I need my tiara.”
K: “What.”

R: “~taters~”

R: types staitened
K: “You’re too gay to spell straightened XD”

K: “aaaaaah puncTUATION”

K: “Is the League of Villains a proper noun?”
R: “I don’t know but fuck ‘em if it is”
K: “Do you know the definition of a proper noun??

K: “~concentrated crack cocaine~”

K: “Rain?”
R: /unholy screech/ “Alright.”

R: “My autocorrect gave me spoons, what the fuck??”