Archive of Our Own ^beta

Beomgyu knew it was over.

He had known this for a while, but he never allowed himself to admit it up until now.

A part of him always thought that, maybe, if he just pretended that nothing was wrong, if he just pretended that they were fine, then they really would be.
Fake it until you make it, right?

However, it has come to a point where it has become impossible to even pretend.

Yeonjun and him were over.

It wasn’t official yet, but he knew that it was just a matter of time.

He knew that after almost seven years spent together it was time to say goodbye.

He just didn’t know how.

-

Him and Yeonjun have a long history, both as lovers and as friends.

They met in middle school, right after Beomgyu’s parents decided to move from Daegu to Seongnam for work.

It was his first year of middle school, but while most of the other kids in his classes already knew each other from elementary school, he knew no one.

Nowadays all of his friends wouldn’t believe it since he’s known to be a social butterfly, but at the time he was an incredibly shy kid. So he spent his first weeks in his new school all by himself, just quietly observing the other kids talk and play together and longing to join them.

That’s when he first saw Yeonjun.

He was quite popular and just one year older than Beomgyu, yet the latter looked up to him as if he were one of the strong and fearless superheroes in the comics he spent all of his time reading.

He had a charming smile and fox-like eyes. He radiated confidence from every pore, but never acted in an arrogant or self-centred manner. Maybe it was because of his chubby rose-tinted cheeks or his constant child-like excitement, but Beomgyu, without even having ever talked to him, knew that he wasn’t like those annoying bullies who once made fun of his Pokemon backpack.

No, he seemed kind.

So that’s how he found himself sitting almost every day on a bench in his school’s backyard, admiring the older one as he played soccer with his friends.

And that’s when it happened.

One day, one of the kids kicked the ball out of their imaginary field. Yeonjun, bright smiled as always, offered to go and retrieve it.

It wasn’t until he saw the elder running in his direction that Beomgyu noticed the ball rolling towards him, stopping seconds later right at his feet.

He looked at it with a dumbfounded look on his face, eyes shifting from the ball to the kid who was now standing just a few steps ahead of him.

“Hi, could you pass me the ball, please?”

Beomgyu snapped out of his daze, nodding and clumsily getting up to pick up the ball and hand it to the older one.

However, the other, even once he had the ball tucked under his arm, didn’t move. He just kept looking at Beomgyu with curious eyes.

“Hey, why have I never seen you before? Did you just transfer to this school?” He asked, tilting his head in a way that Beomgyu couldn’t help but find endearing.

“K-kind of.” His voice cracked from nervousness, making him clear his throat, feeling more and more flustered by the second. “I moved here from Daegu a few months ago.”

The older one smiled, eyes crinkling, leaning forward excitedly as if he had heard the most interesting thing ever. It felt weird for Beomgyu to see his smile so clearly, having gotten used to only seeing it from afar. He was really pretty when he smiled.

“Really? That’s so cool, I’ve never been to Daegu, but my dad says that the food there is delicious!”

Beomgyu lowered his gaze, feeling shy by their sudden closeness, smiling nonetheless at the other’s antics.

“Yeah, it is.”

The other seemed pleased with his answer, leaning back with a grin, eyes still glued to the younger’s face.

Just when Beomgyu thought that their conversation was over he, once again, was snapped out of his thoughts by that same sweet voice.

“So, do you like it here?”

He hesitated, shifting from one foot to the other, gaze still on the ground.

“Yeah, it’s nice.”

“You don’t sound very convinced. You don’t like Seongnam?”

Beomgyu lifted his head, surprised by the genuine interest that the other was showing towards him. He nervously scratched his cheek, shaking his head.

“No, I like it. I’m just a bit homesick. Plus I don’t have any friends here.”

He didn’t mean to sound so sad, an apology already sitting at the tip of his tongue, but before he could say anything a loud voice made them both turn around.

“Jun, hurry up! The break is almost over and we are one point behind!”

“Coming!” Yelled back the elder, and Beomgyu sighed, waiting for him to turn around and get back to his game.

However, he didn’t. Instead, he looked back at Beomgyu, eyes bright as he asked.

“What’s your name?”

“Ehm… Choi Beomgyu. Why?”

“Well, Beomgyu, wanna come and play with us?”

Beomgyu’s expression immediately perked up, eyes wide with mirth and surprise.

“Really?”

“Yes, really!” The boy laughed, hand already tugging at his wrist, guiding him towards the other kids. “Come on, you’ll be in my team. I hope you’re good at soccer ‘cause there’s no way I’m losing to that midget Changbin!”

He stopped for a second, turning around to look at Beomgyu, who had been staring at the back of his head the whole time, letting himself be dragged.

“I’m Yeonjun, by the way.”

“I know.” Answered Beomgyu without realising, panicking once he did.
Would Yeonjun think that he was weird?

But, luckily, Yeonjun didn’t seem bothered. Instead, he simply smiled and turned around, announcing to his friends the new addition to the team.

In the end, they did end up losing the game, Yeonjun cursing out loud and earning himself a glare from one of the teachers walking through the backyard to supervise the students.

However, when Yeonjun walked up to him, throwing an arm around his shoulders, whining about their loss and talking about how ‘tomorrow they would win for sure’, Beomgyu felt more like a winner than he ever had before.

From that moment on they became inseparable. Even though Yeonjun was a year older than Beomgyu, they still spent all of their breaks together and texted each other during most of their classes.

Yeonjun took his role of hyung very seriously, walking Beomgyu home, buying him snacks and helping him with school (he wasn’t really the smartest cookie in the jar, but being a grade above Beomgyu he was pretty helpful).

Once they got into high school they still remained attached at the hip, even more than before.

The year that they had to spend in different schools, Yeonjun already being in high school and Beomgyu still in middle school, had been rough for both of them. It’s not like they didn’t still see each other at every chance they got, but they were so used to their usual walks to the bus stop, meetups in the hallways, sharing lunch and playing soccer in the backyard that not being able to do all these things was agonising for them.

So once they finally reunited in high school (one that Beomgyu definitely didn’t choose just to be with his best friend) they made up for all the time lost by spending even more time together.

They had countless sleepovers, going to school together the next day; they shared Yeonjun’s locker just because Beomgyu’s was too far from it and they wanted more time to chat before their classes; and spent their afternoons together studying, even if they had different subjects and topics, simply finding comfort in the each other’s presence.

If you were to ask them when they realised that their relationship was more than a simple friendship, they probably wouldn’t know how to answer. Because, in some ways, their relationship never was just a simple friendship.

They already did almost everything that couples did. Holding hands, cuddling on the couch, spooning in their sleep, calling each other pet names and being generally just very touchy and intimate.

The only thing that was left to do to make it official was… well, make it official.

They danced around the subject for a long time, both too shy to bring it up but still alluding to it at every chance they got.

Yeonjun became extremely flirty with Beomgyu, who, no matter which lame pick up line the older one used, couldn’t help but blush and splutter every single time.

Beomgyu, instead, couldn’t help but make fun of poor Yeonjun as much as he could, teasing being his love language.

He took every chance he got to annoy the older one, cracking jokes at his expense or mocking him (puberty was a difficult time for Yeonjun thanks to Beomgyu, who wouldn’t let him live every single time he had a voice crack).

Yeonjun pretended to be annoyed, glaring or hitting him, but he was really just endeared, enduring all of the obnoxious jokes just so that he could be rewarded by the sound of Beomgyu’s laugh.

They exchanged shy and secretive looks whenever someone mistook them for a couple, awkward laughs filling the tense air as they denied the obvious. They spent hours talking about every little thing that came to their minds, sharing every little problem or worry that downed on them at the time, knowing that they would always find comfort and understanding in the other. They had countless inside jokes that no one else but them understood. They kissed constantly, on the cheeks, foreheads, hands, fingers, and basically everywhere except for the place that they knew would inevitably change their relationship.

To this day, they still don’t know why they hesitated so much. Maybe they were simply scared of ruining what they had, perhaps they didn’t want to go out of their comfort zone, preferring to hide behind what was safe and familiar.

Now that they think about it, maybe they should have listened to their fears, which weren’t completely unfounded.

But they didn’t.

Eventually, they mustered up the courage to step into the unknown.

Yeonjun was the one who took the first step, texting Beomgyu and asking to meet so they could talk.

That’s how they found themselves sitting on a bench in the park near Beomgyu’s house where they often hung out during the warmer seasons. After an awfully long time of awkward small talk and tense silences, Yeonjun took a big breath and gave meaning to that meeting, finally asking Beomgyu out “in- like- a non-platonic way”.

Beomgyu immediately agreed to it with such eagerness that it made Yeonjun laugh. But at the time he didn’t care about all of the teasing that he would have to bear.

Yeonjun liked him.

That’s all that mattered at the time.

To this day he still remembers fondly that late autumn afternoon, the blue cloudy sky looking over them, the light chilly wind caressing their pink faces, warm coloured leaves gracefully falling all around them and taking part in beautiful circular choreographies at every particularly strong gust of wind.

He remembers their freezing hands tangling together on their walk towards their favourite coffee shop; he remembers how, even though the weather was cold and he was definitely underdressed (looking cute was the priority, he could deal with a cold), he felt his insides burn up with sheer euphoria and affection, warmth spreading from his and Yeonjun’s joined fingers all the way to his chest.

He can still feel the tingling sensation that the older’s lips had left on his rosy cheeks when he kissed him there as a goodbye, and he can remember the happiness and relief of being able to finally hold the other in his arms in the way he had wished for a long time.

That’s when they officially became a couple, never leaving each other’s sides even through their rough patches, like when Yeonjun moved to Seoul for college and theirs became a long-distance relationship for a year while Beomgyu was still finishing high school.

But they got through that, reuniting as soon as the younger one graduated, becoming once again inseparable.

“And that’s how we got here today” is what they would usually say at this point of their tale, ending it gracefully with a peck and an exchange of proud looks as their sweet love story earned them coos or envious looks from whoever was listening.

This is what happens when you’re in a long committed relationship: telling your story becomes like a choreography or a movie script that they learned by heart through repetition. They have now perfected it, reciting it like a fairytale.

Because it really seemed like one. They got teased so often about how theirs sounded like a story out of a romance book that they, too, started believing it.

They bought into this illusion that their love was perfect like the one they always saw in movies, that they were somehow destined to be together, soulmates bound to spend the rest of their lives together.

How foolish of them.

They should have known that real life is much different from movies and books.

They should have known better.

This is all that Beomgyu can think about as he looks at his phone screen, eyes trailing on the text that Yeonjun had just sent him, the first in the last few days.

A short greeting, way too polite and impersonal for two so-called “soulmates”, followed by four words that made Beomgyu’s heart abruptly stop.

“We need to talk.”

Beomgyu knew all too well what those words meant.

He knew what they needed to talk about, and it wasn’t gonna be a pleasant conversation about the weather or their classes.

This was gonna be the conversation.

The one that would put an end to everything. The one that would put an end to them.

He dreaded this moment, even though he had been fully aware that it was about to come.

They were nearing the end of Yeonjun’s senior year and Beomgyu’s junior one.
After almost seven years of happiness, the more Yeonjun’s graduation neared, the more obvious it became that they had an expiration date.

In their lovey-dovey perfect relationship, something had shifted. And, as a consequence, they started shifting farther and farther apart.

They couldn’t pinpoint exactly when it happened.
It was a small, gradual change, hard to notice until it became impossible to not notice.

They never dared to talk about it, but they had come to a point where it was too obvious to deny.

It became obvious once their time spent with each other was suddenly filled with either petty arguments or awkward silences; when while walking side by side their hands stopped searching for each other; when their text chats became more and more empty and their calls more shallow and short or sent straight to voicemail; and once they stopped spending most of their time together at their favourite cafe on campus or at each other’s places because of their busy schedules.

It became abundantly obvious when Beomgyu rescheduled their planned anniversary date to work on an assignment.

It became painfully clear when Yeonjun spent all of that rescheduled date staring at the cute blue-haired and dimpled barista that served them their drinks, smiling at him with the same warmth that Beomgyu knew all too well, having it seen an infinite amount of times directed at himself.

He couldn’t even bring himself to be jealous or mad about it. Perhaps a bit regretful and bitter, but definitely not mad.

After all, it takes two people to ruin a relationship, and he had already done his fair part in it.

He was struggling to keep up with his classes, his part-time job and his exams, the knowledge of Yeonjun being so close to graduation and, consequently, leaving him once again, only adding to his stress.

He wanted to excel, yet he only ended up crashing and breaking under the pressure.

And that’s how he became constantly tired, stressed and closed off, which made him shut everyone out, including his beloved boyfriend.

So it’s really no surprise that Yeonjun fell out of love with him.

But it wasn’t just that, honestly neither of them knew what exactly had stabbed their love, letting it bleed out slowly and agonisingly until there was nothing left.

It was all and nothing at the same time.

Beomgyu guesses that it’s just what happens with young love.
One day it’s fine, you’re both happy and you get lost in each other, but then, one day, you actually lose each other. The heartwarming love vanishes without a warning or an explanation, leaving behind only a cold and painfully empty void.

They thought their love was going to last forever, but it was arrogant of them.

At the end of the day, they got together when they were just two lighthearted and carefree kids. So many things had changed since then, they themselves had changed in so many ways. They were now adults who, no matter how much they wanted to, could no longer afford to indulge their past idealistic love.

No more nights spent on the roof of Beomgyu’s childhood home stargazing and daydreaming about their future. No more skipping school, hopping on Yeonjun’s dad’s car and driving to the suburbs to have a picnic on a field. No more days spent in Beomgyu’s king-sized bed cuddling and singing their favourite songs, accompanied by the younger boy gently strumming his guitar.

Now they spend most of their lives either studying or working. And even if they had more time to spend with each other, they started developing separate interests. They found new friends and started hanging out with different people and in different places.

The moment in which Beomgyu realised that there was really no coming back to their past happy and carefree moments goes back to many months prior when the school year had just started.

They were laying down on Yeonjun’s bed, limbs messily tangled together as they lazily held each other and shared affectionate touches.

The closed blinds left little space for the Sun to light up the room with his bold rays. Even though it was early September, the air was still as warm and suffocating as it had been all summer, which is why both boys were locked in the dark room taking a nap at three in the afternoon instead of going out and enjoying themselves before their classes start taking up all of their time.

Yeonjun was sprawled out on his stomach, one arm swinging off the small bed while the other was draped over Beomgyu’s waist. His face was pressed against the younger’s neck, warm breath tickling the boy’s honey skin as he absent-mindedly peppered light kisses all over it.

Beomgyu had to stop himself from giggling, having always been quite ticklish, focusing instead on gently threading his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair.

A calming R&B song was playing from a small speaker on Yeonjun’s desk, Beomgyu softly humming along to the melody, completely basking in the joy that such a peaceful moment with his boyfriend was giving him.

Almost as if reading his mind, Yeonjun sighed in satisfaction, melting even more in the younger’s arms.

“I wish we could always stay like this. I love doing absolutely nothing with you.”

Beomgyu smiled, patting Yeonjun’s head affectionately.

“Me too. It’s nice, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. Too bad that in order to survive we have to be functioning members of society and do useless things like studying and working.”

The brunette smiled at the other’s whining.

“Wow, I see you’re really looking forward to the start of this semester.” He teased sarcastically, making Yeonjun groan and bury his head even further in the crook of his neck.

“Just the thought that tomorrow I have to wake up early for my first lecture makes me want to bang my head against the wall repeatedly.”

Beomgyu chuckled and tried to cheer his boyfriend up. “Come on, it’s the first day of your senior year, aren’t you a bit excited?”

“Nope.” Yeonjun flatly answered against his shoulder, at which the brunette snickered.

The comfortable silence took over the room once again, the only sound being the soft music and the late summer breeze slightly shaking the half-closed blinds. That was until Beomgyu sighed, looking down at the boy in his arms.

“So, this really is your last year of college, uh? How do you feel?”

“Like shit. I’m not ready to officially be a full ass adult.” Grumbled Yeonjun, making the younger boy smile fondly at him.

“Come on, it’s gonna be fine. Have you already planned what to do after graduation?”

Yeonjun groaned, finally turning over on his back so that his face was no longer hidden in the crook of his boyfriend’s neck, staring at the ceiling instead with a frown.
“God, you sound just like my mom.”

“Your mom is a very nice lady, so I’ll take that as a compliment.” Grinned Beomgyu, turning on one side and propping himself up on his elbow to look at the other, who followed suit.

“Yes, you’re both very nice, but you’re also both very annoying and nagging.” Pointed out Yeonjun, playfully bopping the brunette’s nose.

“Sorry if I worry about my boyfriend’s future.” Pouted Beomgyu, moving to lay once again on his back. “Just know that if you end up homeless and living under a bridge I sure as hell won’t let you stay in my future big ass mansion with a garden and a pool.”

“And you’re gonna buy that with the money you will make as a musician?” Smirked Yeonjun teasingly, making the younger’s pout even more prominent.

“Fuck off. You’re a dance major, you don’t get to snob me.” He grumbled, at which the older boy snickered and leaned forward to place a soft kiss on his lips.

After a few more tender kisses, Yeonjun laid down once again on his back, seemingly hesitant.

“Actually… there’s this particular dance academy that I plan on applying to once I graduate.”

Beomgyu turned around a confused frown on his face.

“Really? Why have you never told me anything about it?”

Yeonjun nervously bit his lip, avoiding the younger’s questioning gaze.

“It’s… uh… because it’s a bit far from here.”

Beomgyu gulped, throat suddenly dried from dread.

“How far?”

Yeonjun finally looked at him, voice barely above a whisper.

“New York.”

“Oh.”

“I know that it’s far, but it’s one of the best dance academies and it’s convenient because I could stay with my aunt and cousins who live there.” Explained Yeonjun, worried gaze trailing over Beomgyu’s serious expression.

“Yeah, I get it.” Smiled the brunette, even though it felt forced. “It sounds wonderful, I really hope you get in.”

Yeonjun looked pleased with the other’s understanding words, sighing in relief.

“How about you?” He asked in a more cheerful tone. “What are your plans for after your graduation?”

“You already know it. My dream’s to work at HYDE as a music producer.”

“Right, how could I forget when it’s basically all you ever talk about.” Yeonjun chuckled with a playful roll of his eyes, however when he turned towards the brunette, his smile faltered.

Beomgyu’s gaze was distant, void of its usual joyful sparkle, emotionless expression if not for the slight frown of his eyebrows.

Immediately, Yeonjun sat upright, taking the younger’s hand in his as to gain his attention.

“Hey, what’s with the sad expression?” He softly asked, at which Beomgyu gave him an incredulous look, also sitting up straight.

“Are you not worried about this? About us? You’ve basically said that our relationship will probably only last until your graduation. Our dreams are so far away from one another.”

“That doesn’t mean anything. You don’t need to worry so much.” Yeonjun dismissed him, but Beomgyu didn’t seem to listen.

“What will happen to us if you move to America? I mean, we already struggled so much with a one-year long-distance relationship when you first came here, and we were only a train ride away from each other. How will we handle being an ocean away from one another?”

“Listen, nothing’s set in stone. I haven’t even applied yet, and even when I do, we don’t know if they’ll take me. Let’s not worry ourselves with problems that are yet to come, ok?” Said Yeonjun confidently, placing a kiss on the younger’s forehead before laying down once again as if nothing had happened.

Beomgyu hesitated to do the same, and even when he found himself engulfed in the other’s arms, his mind was far away.

He couldn’t help but worry and fear what would happen to them in the near future, too afraid that being distant once again would break them.

Turns out his fear became reality much earlier than he expected.

That conversation was the first crack in their apparently perfect relationship, a crack that only grew deeper and wider until it eventually tore them apart.

They didn’t need distance to ruin what they had built in their years as a couple, time made sure to take care of that.

People grow up, change and fall out of love.
That’s the fate of most young lovers.

Just like in that song by Conan Gray that Beomgyu had found himself playing way too often on his guitar in the last few weeks said: “A tale old as time, Young love don’t last for life”.

No matter how much you used to love someone, sometimes things just don’t work out.

And it’s fine.

It doesn’t have to end in a big fight or some life-changing tragedy, through cheating, yelling or lying.

Because they did still love each other, just not in the way that they used to. There was still affection and care between them. They had way too much respect and devotion towards each other to ever do any of those distasteful things.

Although Yeonjun might have stared at the cute barista for a little longer than normal, Beomgyu knew that that was as far as it had ever gotten. He had the certainty that even if their relationship was falling apart, Yeonjun would have never stepped so low, remaining nothing but faithful and honest.

And the same could be said about himself. It’s slightly different in his case since he, in all honesty, can’t bring himself to even look at someone who wasn’t his boyfriend yet, which is why it was probably much easier for him to reject the beautiful blonde boy that he met at the gym and that asked him out.

Yet, this was just another way of putting off the inevitable.

Now Yeonjun had decided to stop procrastinating, so Beomgyu had to accept the reality, replying to the message the older one sent with a simple:

“I know”.

-

That night, he couldn’t sleep.

Yeonjun and him had set up a time and place for their meeting that would happen the next day, which is why he couldn’t bring himself to close his eyes for the whole night.

He just tossed and turned, thinking of what was about to come.

He was anxious and scared, but he was also a bit curious.
He wondered how Yeonjun would break up with him.

Would he ramble, trying to avoid the subject as much as possible to ease him into it or would he just get straight to the point? Would he act nervous and stiff or cool and relaxed as always?

He thinks of which break up cliché Yeonjun will use.

“It’s not you, it’s me” would be a lie.
“I just need some space to reflect on myself” is also a lie.
“I’m not good enough for you” is a big fat lie.
“I hope we can still be friends” lie, lie, lie.

He wonders what he will do as he breaks to Beomgyu the bad news. Will he reach out for his hand and hold it, caressing it gently even as he broke his heart? Or will he keep his distance, not wanting anything more to do with Beomgyu, leaving him without as much as a hug?

No, he shouldn't think like that. Things might have changed between them, but he still knew that Yeonjun was one of the kindest people on this godforsaken planet.

He will definitely be sickeningly sweet, handling Beomgyu’s fragile heart with the same gentleness and carefulness that he always had, even as he tore it to shreds.

Yet, what bothered him so much wasn’t the simple fact that they were going to break up. He had given up on their relationship by now. The thing that really upset him was the thought of how it was going to end.

Thinking about their beautiful seven year long relationship ending in a shitty diner near campus on a humid Thursday afternoon with a plate of greasy fries as his only comfort while he sat through a bunch of clichés and platitudes heard a million times before, made him feel sick.

That’s not the ending that such a long and happy relationship deserves.

That’s not the ending that they deserve.

With that thought in mind, Beomgyu, in the darkness of his room, gives up on trying to sleep, wide awake now as he gets up, set on giving a worthy end to their relationship.

-

The next day he’s anxious but ready as he’ll ever be as he walks into the diner where Yeonjun and him decided to meet, spotting the elder already sitting at a table in the back of the room.

Taking a big breath to steady his beating heart, he strides forward, heavy steps that resonated in the almost empty restaurant, catching the attention of his boyfriend (Beomgyu’s calling him that in his mind as often as possible, enjoying it while he still can).

Yeonjun looks up, long pink hair falling beautifully on his face, dark eyes locking with Beomgyu’s. A small smile spreads on his face, not nearly as bright as it used to be but still enough to make the younger immediately return the gesture.

“Hey.” The elder greets, feeble voice and nervousness written all over him. The dark circles under his tired eyes told Beomgyu that he wasn’t the only one who wasn’t able to sleep that night. He was so clearly dreading what was about to come, making the younger even more certain of his plan.

“Hey.” Beomgyu softly responded, taking the seat in front of the pink-haired male, who started to mumble under his expectant gaze.

“Sorry if this was so sudden, I dunno if you’re busy or not so I’ll try not to take too long, I just think we really need to talk and this is the only day I’m free so- uhm yeah.” Yeonjun took a deep breath, mouth opening and closing multiple times as if struggling to find the words.

Beomgyu frowned and leaned on the table, getting closer to the boy, hating seeing him so tense and insecure.

“Sorry,” the elder sighed “I just don’t really know how to say this and-”

However, before he got to finish his nervous rambling he was silenced by Beomgyu’s lips pressing softly against his.

Yeonjun didn’t even have the time to process the sudden kiss that Beomgyu was already pulling away, eyes slowly fluttering open and a sweet smile tugging at his lips. This was a sight that Yeonjun had seen a million times by now, a sight that had made him fall head over heels for the boy the first time he had seen it.

“I know what you’re trying to say.” Murmured Beomgyu, hands still softly cupping his cheeks. “You don’t have to, I already know.”

Yeonjun found himself almost instinctively laying one of his hands on top of Beomgyu’s, brows furrowed in confusion.

“Then why did you…” He breathed, trailing off. Beomgyu ignored his question, smiling instead as he let go of his face and stood up, as if ready to leave.

“Come on, I prepared something for you.”

However, when he turned around he felt a hand on his wrist stopping him. He looked down to see Yeonjun still sitting in his chair, a serious expression on his face.

“Gyu…” He whispered in an almost warning tone, eyes pleading as if to say ‘please don’t make this harder than it has to be’.

“I know what you want to say, but please just let me do this.” Beomgyu didn’t mean to sound this desperate, but this was his only chance so he couldn’t help it.
“I promise you won’t regret it.” He smiled weakly, trying to appear reassuring even though he was now finding it difficult to hide his own insecurity.

Yeonjun lowered his gaze, seeming conflicted.

“Are you… are you still able to trust me?” Feebly asked Beomgyu, making the pink-haired male look back up. As soon as their eyes met, Yeonjun’s whole face softened, expression almost resembling the one that he used to have when their love was still in full bloom.

“Yeah, I can.” He murmured, letting go of his wrist and slowly getting up.

“Well,” he smiled, “Lead the way.”

That’s how they found themselves sitting in silence in Beomgyu’s old and scrappy car.

The air was heavy between them, the tension palpable, Beomgyu’s gaze still on the road while Yeonjun’s was pointed out of the window, never daring to look at each other.

After about ten minutes of complete silence the car came to a stop at a red light and Beomgyu took it as his chance to turn on the radio as a way to bear the awkwardness, however, he was interrupted by Yeonjun’s tired voice.

“Beomgyu, where are we going?” Sighed the elder, head still turned towards the small window.

“You’ll see. Don’t wanna spoil the surprise.” Smiled Beomgyu and the other finally turned around, face sceptical. He looked ready to say something else, but the younger was faster, switching on the radio and turning up the volume.

Beomgyu kept on driving, smiling when a Taylor Swift song came on the radio. He felt Yeonjun shifting in his seat, and saw him in his peripheral vision lightly bopping his head to the rhythm.

Yeonjun has always been a huge fan of Taylor Swift, so Beomgyu can’t even begin to count how many times the singer has accompanied them in their many road trips through the years.

Without even realising Beomgyu found himself humming the familiar melody of Cruel Summer, fingers tapping rhythmically on the steering wheel.

He could feel Yeonjun’s gaze on him, but he tried hard to not falter under it, continuing to mumble the lyrics under his breath.

“Shit, I fucked up.” He murmured when he messed up the second verse, making Yeonjun chuckle.

Soon, the elder had joined in his humming, saying the actual lyrics for once.

Beomgyu’s heart warmed up at hearing that smooth and soothing voice that he hasn’t heard in a while. His smile grew and so did his voice, singing more confidently now, followed suit by Yeonjun.

At one point their gazes met for a brief second, and Beomgyu couldn’t help but marvel at the sight of Yeonjun’s pink hair swaying from the wind, face lit by the spring sun rays sneaking through the rolled down windows, smile even brighter than said rays and mouth open as he sang enthusiastically along to Taylor’s sweet voice.

It was so familiar.

He thought back to all the times they had driven to the beach in that same car, shouting at the top of their lungs that same song, hands intertwined between them and the same wide smiles on their faces, exchanging loving looks at every chance they got.

However, those times were long gone.

Which is why Beomgyu found himself shutting up and averting his gaze.

Yeonjun seemed to realise that too, smile slowly fading as his voice got quieter and quieter until eventually it was gone.

Soon the song was over, and they had fallen silent once again.

Finally, after what felt like forever, Beomgyu stopped at a parking lot, finding an empty spot and turning off the engine.

“Where are we?” Curiously asked Yeonjun, unbuckling his seat belt.

“Come and see for yourself.” Said Beomgyu getting out of the car and tilting his head to the direction opposite of where the elder was sitting.

Yeonjun followed his advice, looking around, eyes going wide when his eyes landed on what he had missed while in the car by not looking in the younger’s direction.

“An amusement park?” He said incredulously, eyeing the big ferris wheel slowly spinning and the roller coaster full of screaming people, both visible from where they were standing.

“What better way to alleviate college stress than by screaming and puking on a huge ass roller coaster?” Joked Beomgyu, making Yeonjun laugh, excitement written all over his face at the unexpected surprise.

“Let’s go!” Yeonjun happily exclaimed, taking the brunette’s hand and dragging him towards the entrance, stopping when a member of the staff asked for tickets.

Beomgyu extended his arm, showing on his phone screen the two tickets he had booked online the day before, dragging then a baffled Yeonjun inside the amusement park.

“Wait, you actually bought tickets?” Asked the pink-haired male, and the brunette gave him a funny look.

“What, did you think that we were gonna sneak in illegally or something? I’m not a criminal, unlike you.”

Yeonjun huffed out a laugh, giving him a fake annoyed look.

“Again with this? I didn’t mean to steal that bracelet, I forgot that I had it on.”

“That’s what they all say, you perp.”

“I literally walked back into the store and paid for it!”

“You deserve jail time.”

They both chuckled, amused by their own antics.

Bickering had always been a huge part of their relationship. They would argue and annoy each other to no end, but it was always done with the utmost love and respect, both careful to never cross any line.

“Anyways,” said Yeonjun, “I just meant I’m surprised you paid for the both of us and bought them just to surprise me.”

“First of all, don’t flatter yourself, they weren’t that expensive, it’s not like this is Disneyland, it’s just a small park and the tickets were on discount. Also, even if they weren’t, excuse you I’m not completely broke.”

Yeonjun raised one eyebrow sceptically. “I’m not saying you’re broke, I’m just saying you’re annoyingly stingy.”

Beomgyu pouted, trying to look offended, muttering:
“I’m not stingy. I just save my money for special occasions.”

“Is this a special occasion?” Asked Yeonjun, suddenly serious. It was so clear that, even if they had joked around a bit, he was still confused and reluctant about this sudden date.

Beomgyu, however, once again ignored his question with a simple smile.

“Come on, let’s go and see if we can find some of the delicious looking cotton candy that kid over there is eating.” He tilted his head, encouraging the elder to follow him as he started walking through the busy park.

Yeonjun sighed, going after him nevertheless.

They did find the cotton candy, both getting the biggest size, eating it happily in almost complete silence. They only talked to point out the attractions and games that they wanted to try. Beomgyu at one point commented on how Yeonjun’s hair was the same colour as the cotton candy, joking then about how he’ll probably be bald by thirty because of how many times he had bleached his poor hair.

Yeonjun simply rolled his eyes, changing the subject by asking him what he wanted to do next. Beomgyu munched on his cotton candy, eyes scanning his surroundings, lighting up when they landed on a small stand, big plushies hanging up as prizes.

“I absolutely need to win that big dolphin plushie.” He said in all seriousness, pointing at it.

Yeonjun chuckled, raising one eyebrow. “You need it? Since when are you so passionate about plushies?”

“It’s not for me, but for my roommate.” Said Beomgyu, already striding towards the stand with a fortunately short line.

“Kai, right? I’ve talked to him a couple of times, he seems nice.”

“Yeah, he’s like the nicest and purest person on this Earth. And he absolutely loves plushies, his bed is full of them. Also, he kinda laughs like a dolphin so that plushie would be the perfect gift for him.”

Yeonjun smiled in a way that looked way too fond for someone that was about to break up with him, getting in line for the carnival game.

“Well, let’s get it then.”

Turns out it wasn’t that easy.

The game was crossbow shooting, and Beomgyu was exceptionally bad at it. He’s always had terrible aim, and Yeonjun laughing his ass off at his numerous failures wasn’t really helpful.

In his peripheral vision, he could see a bunch of kids playing the same game and hitting the target full-on as if it was the easiest thing in the world, only aggravating his frustration mixed with embarrassment.

“Wow Gyu, beaten by a seven year old. How does that feel?” Teased Yeonjun, shit-eating grin on his face.

“Fuck off.” Glared Beomgyu, trying to show the elder his middle finger while holding the crossbow, which accidentally set it off, fake dart almost hitting the poor girl working at the stand.

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry!” Gasped Beomgyu, mortified, cheeks flaring up in embarrassment.

Yeonjun burst out laughing, almost toppling over from his loud laughter, which only made his ears turn even redder.

“Oh my God, you are really awful at this.” Sighed the elder once his laughter had died down, wiping away a few tears.

“I told you to fuck off.” Grumbled Beomgyu, furrowed brows and a pout on his face.

“If we keep this up we’re gonna spend the whole day here without even winning the plushie. Let me do it.” Even though he was basically insulting the younger’s abilities, Yeonjun’s tone was honey-sweet as he gently took the bow from Beomgyu’s hands.

“Let’s see if you can do better.” Challenged the brunette, hoping to save some of his dignity.

Needless to say, he couldn’t save his dignity and Yeonjun did indeed much better than Beomgyu, hitting the target spot on time after time and winning the big dolphin plushie in less than a minute.

Beomgyu found himself regretting his life choices.

He was distracted from his sulking by the big plushie being shoved into his chest.

“Here you go, dummy.” Chuckled Yeonjun, a satisfied smirk on his face that made the younger huff and pout even more.

“Aw come on, don’t give me that look! I got you the plushie, didn’t I?” Cooed Yeonjun, arms crossed on his chest as he lightly pushed Beomgyu’s shoulder with his own.

“Yeah, thanks.” Muttered the brunette, hugging the plushie close to his chest and trying to hide his smile behind it. It probably didn’t work since Yeonjun affectionately ruffled his hair, smile even brighter than before.

“Now, where to next?”

They walked around for awhile, trying various games and rides, laughter filling the air.

Beomgyu was paid back for his embarrassment at the crossbow shooting when he dragged a whining Yeonjun on the roller coaster, tearing up from laughter as he saw the usually cool and confident guy sitting there completely terrorized, hands gripping on the safety bar so hard that his knuckles turned white, eyes wide as ever and extremely loud high-pitched screams escaping his throat every two seconds.

After that, the elder (who was still completely shaking and struggling to walk straight on his wobbly legs) swatted him in the head for “laughing at his suffering” and complained about needing food to comfort him after that terrifying experience.

So they got churros and walked around a bit more, the sky turned a light pink above them as the Sun started setting.

As the natural light started decreasing, the bright lights of the amusement park were turned on, giving the place a somewhat magical look.

“Hey, we should do that!” Exclaimed Beomgyu without even bothering to chew his churro first, hand pointed towards the big ferris wheel.

Yeonjun first gave him a disgusted look for talking with his mouth full of food, turning his attention towards the ferris wheel and stopping in his tracks.

“It’s a bit high.” He muttered seeming unsure.

“Are you scared of a little height?” Teased Beomgyu, making Yeonjun straighten up, scoff and wear a solemn look on his face.

“What? Of course, I’m not! I was just worried about you since I know how much of a scaredy-cat you are. Come on, let’s go.” Without even waiting for an answer he stomped over to the line for the ferris wheel, making Beomgyu chuckle and shake his head.

Yeonjun always tried to present himself as strong and fearless to him. Ever since they were young and Beomgyu used to gush out constantly about the elder being his role model, he bent over backwards to live up to the younger’s expectations, somehow afraid to disappoint the younger.

Beomgyu often scolded him about it. Even now he wanted nothing more than to cup the elder’s face, press his lips softly to his nose and reassure him that he didn’t have to try so hard because in Beomgyu’s eyes he would always be the most admirable and coolest person to ever walk the Earth.

However, he had to suppress that urge, simply following the elder.

That’s how they found themselves sitting in one of the small booths, slowly travelling higher and higher.

The, now, full sunset was well visible from there, however neither of them was looking at it.

Yeonjun was, once again, holding on for dear life to the safety bars, terrified eyes looking all around him in an attempt to not look down. Beomgyu was watching the elder, silently wondering how to help him calm down.

He wanted Yeonjun to enjoy the ride too. After years of being together, he knew that the elder found great comfort in physical touch, but he wasn’t sure where they were standing right now regarding boundaries.

The booth rocked a bit while moving, making Yeonjun mumble out a string of curses and hold even tighter on the edges. That’s what made Beomgyu gather up his courage and clear his throat to get the other’s attention.

“If you’re so scared you can hold my hand.” He tried to make it come across as teasing, but he probably wasn’t as good at acting as he thought since the pink-haired male took him completely seriously, eyes wide in surprise.

“I’m not scared.” He insisted, lowering his head as he then muttered: “But I guess that if it shuts you up…”

Without a warning he reached out, holding Beomgyu’s hand in his own.

The brunette was surprised, having expected a glare or an insult, yet he relished in the familiar warmth of Yeonjun’s soft hand.

He silently slid over, sitting closer to the other, both of their gazes finally pointed at the beautiful sunset before them.

The sky was painted in different shades of pink, orange and yellow, one more beautiful than the other. Even the clouds were now rose-coloured, resembling the cotton candy that they had eaten a few hours prior.

The Sun looked shy, blushing bright red and hiding partially behind the horizon, curious gaze still looming over the Earth through his warm rays.

It was all so warm and comforting. Like the embrace of a loving mother, or like holding a cup of warm tea in the winter, or a thousand kisses from your lover against your skin.

That sunset felt like love.

Beautiful, dazzling, overwhelming in every sense but still so familiar and comfortable. Just looking at it was like rediscovering the beauty and meaning of love.

Yet, just like love, it was also temporary. As the sun slowly disappeared more and more Beomgyu became very aware of how, similarly to his relationship with the boy beside him, it was bound to end.

No matter how spectacular and breathtaking it was at that moment, soon it would all disappear and they would be engulfed by darkness.

“It’s… it’s so beautiful.”

Yeonjun’s voice awakened him from his thoughts, making him turn around just to see the other male completely still, mouth agape and eyes shining as he stared in awe at the pink and yellow spectacle that was happening before them.

“Yeah…” murmured Beomgyu, eyes trained on the pink-haired male’s face, relishing in how the yellow light shined upon him making him look even more angelic than usual. “It almost feels unreal.”

Yeonjun nodded at his comment, lips lifting in a dreamy smile.

“That’s one of the beautiful things about such sceneries. No matter how many times I’ve seen the sunset, no matter how many people have admired it before you and I, no matter how many songs, poems and paintings have been inspired by it… it still remains beautiful. We often take such things for granted because we’re so used to it, but every time that I stop and really look at the sunset, it feels like the first time all over again. It never loses its almost magical beauty.”

Beomgyu didn’t know what to say to that.

Once again, he was reminded of love. Of how many books, poems and paintings there are about love; he thinks about all of the songs that he himself wrote about love, yet it never feels like it’s enough. It’s too strong of an emotion to properly express it.

He thinks about his love for Yeonjun. That love that started many years before and is now nothing but a small flame at the end of an almost completely consumed candle, ready to be extinguished. That love that has faced one too many challenges and that he had taken for granted one too many times. That beat-up, old, tired and flickering love that, somehow, still remained beautiful.

Even after all that it had been put through, right now as he felt the elder’s hand in his, he was reminded of the sheer beauty of that ever so sweet feeling that had bloomed in his chest that very day when Yeonjun first talked to him in the playground of their school.

He wanted to say even half of what he was feeling, but no sound was able to come out of his mouth.

He was just so starstruck, so utterly lost in the pure beauty of that moment. He just felt warmth, and he only saw yellow.

The warmth of the yellow Sun, the warmth of the yellow rays, the warmth of Yeonjun’s amber skin, the warmth of the other’s honey-like voice, the warmth of his golden words.

His heart felt so comfortable and cosy, bathing under that yellow light like it had found its place.

It reassured him. Because, even if the sunset was fated to end eventually, right now it was there, making him feel this special way.

He had to make the most of the little time he and Yeonjun had.

That said, he intertwined his and Yeonjun’s fingers and snuggled closer to him, leaning his head on the taller’s shoulder as he looked at the Sun turning redder and redder.

He felt Yeonjun tense at that, but after a few moments he relaxed again, giving Beomgyu’s hand a firm squeeze and laying his head on top of the brunette’s.

Once they got off the ferris wheel, the Sun had just disappeared over the horizon. The pink hue of the sky had remained, but it wouldn’t be long until even that went away, which reminded Beomgyu of how little time he had to properly say goodbye to his and Yeonjun’s relationship.

“I think we did everything there was to do here, wanna go?” He asked as they passed many of the attractions that they had already tried. Yeonjun shrugged, not really looking at him but rather letting himself be captured by the magical atmosphere of the place.

The light and happy music playing in the background, chatter and laughter filling the air, the delicious smell of the many street foods swirling from various stands, and the countless colourful lights that shone all around them.

“I guess. Do we grab one last thing to eat before heading back to campus?” Hummed hesitantly Yeonjun, almost like he didn’t want to leave that place.

Beomgyu understood that. After all, to Yeonjun’s knowledge, after this, they would go back to their usual life and have the dreaded talk that started this last-minute trip in the first place.

However, Beomgyu had so much more planned.

“How can you still be hungry after all that we ate?” He chuckled, making the pink-haired male glare at him and huff.

“It’s not like we had a whole meal, just some snacks here and there.”

“We basically spent more time at the food stands than at the actual games and rides!”

“That’s not true!” Whined Yeonjun, making Beomgyu wonder who really was the older one between the two. “Don’t hunger-shame me, you have no right! You spend all of your days sitting down and writing music, while I dance! I go running every morning while you go to the gym like once a month, do some stretching and you call that a workout! I need fuel to function!!”

Beomgyu laughed, not even pretending to be offended at the jab on his lack of physical activity. Call him lazy, but he would take his couch and guitar over coughing out your lungs by running or tearing a muscle while lifting weights, every day.

“You’re right, you’re right. But we’re still not eating here.”

“Why?”

“Day’s not over.” Simply responded the younger with a cheeky grin, making Yeonjun furrow his eyebrows.

“You’ve got something else planned?”

“Yep, so if you’re that hungry enough with the chit chat and hurry up, we have a long drive ahead of us.”

Yeonjun didn’t reply, silently following Beomgyu outside of the amusement park and back to the younger’s car.

And that’s how they found themselves sitting silently in the small car once again.

To avoid the awkwardness from before, right after turning on the engine, Beomgyu looked through his many CDs sitting in a small compartment in the car, choosing Coldplay’s “A Rush of Blood to the Head”.

He started driving, humming the songs under his breath. However, it didn’t have the same effect as it had on their previous drive. Yeonjun was sitting in complete silence, tension radiating off of him, putting off the younger in his attempts to keep the mood happy.

The Sun had completely set as Beomgyu left the highway, taking a small road to leave the town centre.

He gazed up at the sky, smiling slightly.

“Look,” he said softly, “it’s the blue hour.”

The pink-haired man looked up, eyes trailing on the bright blue sky above them.

Actually, it wasn’t just the sky. Everything, every cloud, tree, house, and even the inside of their car… everything was blue. Since they were in a suburban area with very few city and street lights it was much more prominent than it would have been in the middle of Seoul.

Yeonjun glanced at the younger boy, who was looking at his surroundings in pure awe, eyes almost twinkling.

That made him smile, just slightly.

“This is your favourite time of the day, isn’t it?” He gently asked, feeling a small tug to his heart when the other quickly looked at him, pure adoration on his face.

“Yeah, it is. It’s just so… so magical.”

Yeonjun had a feeling of deja vu as he thought back to a breezy autumn evening of many years prior when Beomgyu said those same words to him for the first time.

He remembers walking home with the younger one after a coffee date, the bright blue sky looking over them as the night grew near.

Beomgyu was swinging back and forward their intertwined hands, humming a light tune as he happily looked up at the sky.

That’s when he randomly told Yeonjun about his love for the blue hour, the time of the day that comes either right after the Sun has set or a bit before it rises.

His first instinct was to tease the brunette, because who the hell has a ‘favourite time of the day and why was he so enthusiastic about a simple blue light? But when he looked over to his boyfriend, ready to start their usual bickering, he found himself not able to say anything bad about the younger’s rambling.

He ended up just quietly listening and staring at the other.

Beomgyu spoke about a simple thing that Yeonjun had never really paid much attention to before with such excitement and passion that completely entranced the older. His eyes were wide and twinkling as they stared at the sky above, on his face a smile so bright that it could replace the Sun that had just disappeared, voice loud but soft as he talked about something that he so clearly loved.

This was a special memory for Yeonjun.

Because this was the moment that he realised he was in love with Beomgyu.

It’s not like he never thought that his feelings might be deeper than a simple crush before that moment, but at the time they had been dating for only a few months and so he didn’t want to think too much about it and rush things.

However, in that exact moment, as they were hugged by a soft blue hue and the quiet and calmness of their childhood suburban block, hand in hand, Beomgyu glowing with pure joy, he no longer had any doubts.

He was utterly and completely in love with Choi Beomgyu.

That memory made his heart ache with nostalgia, a small smile of both love and pain on his face as he looked at the boy he once loved so dearly, wishing that those feelings were still there, hidden somewhere in the depths of his heart.

“Yeah, it is.”

And so their trip continued in silence for a while, accompanied only by Coldplay’s music as the sky slowly darkened more and more.

Beomgyu smiled when the piano riff of Clocks echoed in the car, softly singing the melody under his breath, unaware of Yeonjun’s growing impatience.

The brunette hummed louder as the drums kicked in, bopping his head in an obvious attempt at involving the other.

However, as soon as Chris Martin started singing, Yeonjun’s voice made him divert his attention from the song.

“Beomgyu.” Called the older one seriously, deep voice that made the brunette shiver. Whenever Yeonjun used his full name instead of just Beom, Gyu or one of the countless nicknames he usually used, the younger one knew that it was going to be serious.

“Yeah?” He answered back, eyes not leaving the road ahead of him, trying to hide his nervousness by tapping his fingers on the wheel in the rhythm of the song that continued to play.

Yeonjun sighed, remaining silent for a few moments as if weighing his words.

“What is this?”

“Uhm… Coldplay? We literally bought this CD together-” The brunette tried to joke, shutting up at the stern look that Yeonjun sent him.

“You know that’s not what I meant. Stop avoiding the question. What are we doing here, Beomgyu?”

For about a minute the only sound audible in the car was Chris Martin’s voice as both boys fell silent.

Yeonjun’s arms were folded on his chest, sharp eyes glued to Beomgyu’s profile, making the brunette’s fists tighten around the steering wheel in nervousness, not daring to take his eyes off the road.

Seeing the younger’s stubbornness, Yeonjun scoffed incredulously.

“You’re not even gonna answer?” He leaned forward, frustration seeping through his voice. “Beomgyu, I trusted you like you asked me to, followed you here without as much as a simple explanation, but I’m not putting up with that anymore. Either tell me what’s going on or I won’t hesitate to stop this car and go back home.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” Rushed the younger, knowing that Yeonjun was dead serious. “It’s just…” he sighed, gaze sad as he flashed a quick look at the other boy, “we haven’t been on a proper date in forever. I wanted to do something special for you, for us.”

Yeonjun’s face seemed to soften at that, but he still looked troubled. He sighed, fiddling nervously with the many rings adorning his hands (most of which were gifted to him by Beomgyu), legs bouncing frantically until he finally looked up again, faltering determination on his face.

“I want to break up with you.” He said all in one breath as if stopping for even a slight second between one word and the other would make him reconsider his decision.

Beomgyu smiled bitterly, heart clenching at those words.
“I know.” He simply answered. Yet it didn’t seem to satisfy Yeonjun this time, since he huffed and shook his head.

“I’m serious, Beomgyu. I spent so much time thinking about it, and even though it hurts, I’m set on it. It’s too late to try and change my mind with a last minute romantic date.”

The brunette remained calm, eyes not leaving the road.

“I also know that. I swear this isn’t my way to try and win you back or anything like that.”

“Then, for fuck’s sake, fucking tell me what this is?!” Finally snapped Yeonjun, loud voice echoing in the small car even above the music.

Beomgyu flinched at that, all of his previous calmness and confidence faltering. Without saying a word he pulled over the car, carefully parking on the edges of the small town street.

Chris Martin’s soothing voice accompanied by the nostalgic piano riff was a sharp contrast to the tense atmosphere in the car, which is why Beomgyu leaned forward and turned it off, leaving them both just sitting in complete silence.

“Sorry.” mumbled Yeonjun after a while, “I shouldn’t have snapped like that.”

“It’s fine.” Shook his head Beomgyu, trying to give the other a reassuring smile.

Yeonjun always had some difficulties at managing his emotions, so it wasn’t unusual for him to snap like that at the younger. He always made sure to apologise right after, so Beomgyu never really minded. After all, it was mostly his own fault for pushing the other’s buttons so often.

This was just yet another thing that reminded him of how unfit him and Yeonjun were for a relationship. The elder needed someone calm and controlled to help him work through his anger issues, definitely not someone as loud and impulsive as Beomgyu who just stirred him on.

Beomgyu tried to ignore those thoughts, focusing instead on the situation at hand.

“Listen,” he sighed, hands still holding tightly on the steering wheel and gaze low, “I organised all of this because… because I wanted a good ending for us.”

“What do you mean?” Asked Yeonjun softly, almost as if he was afraid that if he raised his voice above a whisper he would scare off the younger boy.

“Yesterday, when you sent me that message, I already knew what you wanted to talk about. I knew that it was the right choice, yet when I thought about you breaking up with me my heart still dropped. I spent the whole night wide awake thinking about it, and questioning why it was affecting me this much even though I’ve known for a long time that we are over.”

Yeonjun averted his gaze, sadness taking over as he thought back to his own sleepless nights spent thinking about their relationship as it was falling apart.
“Then I realised that, while I’m obviously sad that our relationship’s ending, I was mostly bitter about how it was going to end.” Explained Beomgyu, finally turning around to meet the other’s confused gaze.

“Yeonjun, you are my first love.” Whispered the brunette tenderly, “You are my first everything, and you are my best friend. I can’t even put into words how much this relationship means to me. It was really something special, wasn’t it?”

Yeonjun was rendered speechless by the pure adoration in the other’s eyes.
“Yeah, it was.” He breathed out shakily.

“Which is why I hated the thought of it ending like any other relationship. I wanted something special for us. A special and meaningful goodbye to put a beautiful end to such a beautiful relationship. I didn’t want a bitter breakup, instead I wanted us to honour our love one last time before parting ways, no regrets.”

“No regrets?” Asked Yeonjun, pretending to be sceptical even though his soft smile was proof of him warming up to the younger’s crazy idea.

“Yeah!” Perked up Beomgyu, turning his body to fully face him, expression intense as he gesticulated excitedly. “That’s what happens after all breakups, right? Feeling regretful. Regretting not saying something, or saying too much. Regretting not doing enough, and regretting not being able to properly say goodbye to someone who meant so much to you.”

“Since when do you know so much about breakups?” Teased Yeonjun, trying to hide how much the brunette’s words struck him.

“What are you insinuating?” Scoffed Beomgyu, glaring at him.

“You just said that I was your first love, we’ve been together since high school. What would you know about breakups?” Chuckled Yeonjun, at which the younger boy lightly shoved his shoulder.

“Hey, don’t be so cocky, need I remind you that I’ve had other relationships before you?”

Yeonjun frowned, thinking about it for a few moments before giving him an amused look.

“You mean that girl you were with for like a week in third grade?”

“I don’t know if I should be touched that you remember that or offended at you for underestimating the depth of that relationship.”

Yeonjun laughed, rolling his eyes at his boyfriend’s antics. “What relationship? It was third grade! Do kids in third grade even break up or simply go play Pokemon or whatever with someone else?”

“Hey, we did break up, and it was fucking brutal!” Defended himself Beomgyu, pretending to shiver at the memory.

“She came up to me during recess and just straight up told me that she didn’t like me anymore. And all because she now liked the new kid with the shiny shoes and a shitty Spiderman backpack.” He glared almost as if he could see that kid right in front of him. “That asshole, I’ll never forget his ugly little face and those ugly little shoes.”

Yeonjun couldn’t help bursting out laughing, all but intimidated at the brunette’s murderous expression.

“Wow, so it’s because of that that you’re so scared of breakups?”

“Yeah man, that shit scarred me for life. Never been the same since then.”

“You’re so freaking weird.” Giggled Yeonjun, sounding nothing but endeared even as he insulted the boy.

Beomgyu smiled at that, sitting in silence for a few moments as he slowly became serious once again.

“You see, this is why I wanted to do this. For the comfortable talks, the teasing and the bickering. To have it all just one last time. Don’t you want to feel it all again, just like before things started going south?”

Yeonjun was more than tempted. Which is why he reached out his hand, taking Beomgyu’s and caressing it gently just like he always used to do. The younger one seemed to relax at that gesture, but seeing the pink-haired male still conflicted he continued.

“One last taste of our past happiness before saying goodbye to it all. It can be like our last meal on the death row.”

“You’re always so dramatic.” Chuckled Yeonjun, before humming in thought. “Yet… I like the idea. We’re two dead men walking, taking advantage of their little time left.”

“Exactly!” Exclaimed Beomgyu happily.

“So, in synthesis, you’re saying that we should just pretend everything’s fine for tonight so that tomorrow we can break up more easily?” He murmured, at which the brunette nodded.

“Yeah… if you can stand being with me just one more night.”

His voice wavered a bit, insecurity showing itself.

Yeonjun, wanting to reassure him, guided the brunette’s hand that he was still holding to his lips, pressing a soft kiss on the back of it, intense gaze locked with Beomgyu’s surprised one. He smirked when he heard the younger’s breath hitch, enjoying the fact that even after all this time he still had the same effect on the boy.

“I’m in. Let’s do it.”

Beomgyu’s face broke into a huge grin, eyes shimmering as he started once again the engine.

“Get comfortable, it’ll take a bit.”

-

After their conversation, the air became lighter, void of all the previous tension. There was still some awkwardness, but they tried to overcome it using the main thing that they both love: music.

Even though they had different tastes in music, neither of them was really picky regarding what to listen to, so ever since the beginning of their relationship they bonded thanks to their shared passion for music.

So the elder connected his phone to the sound system of the car, and after a bit of their never ending bickering, they finally decided on a song, blasting it at full volume and singing their hearts out together, until Beomgyu stopped the car, talking over the loud music.

“We’re here.”

Yeonjun stopped the song, looking around with a confused face.

“Seeing as we’re in the middle of nowhere, either we got lost or your idea of a romantic last date is very weird.”

Beomgyu rolled his eyes at the older’s comment, turning off the engine and getting out of the car.

“Get out and you’ll understand.”

Yeonjun stepped out into the small and lonely road, a weak streetlight looming above them and nothing else in sight around them.

“Yeah, you gotta give me something more buddy ‘cause I still don’t see what we’re supposed to do here. Unless your plan was to murder me, in which case I advise you to rethink your life choices because I’m so much stronger than you and I could easily take you down-”

“Will you shut up for a second?” Sighed Beomgyu, walking around the car to get to the trunk.

“Are you reaching for a gun or something? Cause that’s cheating.” Complained Yeonjun when he saw the younger open the trunk.

“Look up.” Deadpanned Beomgyu, completely done with the pink-haired male.

Yeonjun, while still sceptical, did as he was told.

And that’s when he was greeted by the sight of countless shiny dots lighting up the whole dark sky. He gasped, gazing up at those many stars, failing to recall the last time he ever saw the night sky so brightly lit.

Seoul, while indeed a beautiful city, was always so bright that the natural lights of the galaxy ended up getting suffocated and fading away. He wasn’t really passionate about astronomy, but he still missed looking out of his window and seeing even just a few stars as he did in his childhood home.

But now they were perfectly visible, glowing proudly above them with their ethereal light.

“This is supposed to be one of the best stargazing spots in the area.” Beomgyu’s voice awakened him from his thoughts, making him look back at the younger, who was now holding a picnic basket in one hand and a familiar guitar case in the other.

“Wow…” was all Yeonjun managed to say, making the brunette smirk proudly.

“What were you saying about me not knowing how to plan a romantic date?” He teased, making Yeonjun scoff.

“It’s a bit cheesy but I’ll take it, I guess.” He pretended to complain, at which Beomgyu laughed and rolled his eyes.

“Come on, it’s already past dinner time and I know how grumpy you get when you skip your meals.”

“If you’re not gonna murder me you better be careful, otherwise you’ll be the one ending up killed.” Threatened Yeonjun, walking alongside the younger to the wide field on the side of the road.

“You realise you just proved my point, right?”

“God, you’re annoying.”

“Hey, don’t push me! I’m holding the food!” Screeched Beomgyu, stumbling when the older boy lightly shoved him.

“I barely touched you, you’re so dramatic!.”

In between their usual bickering, they found a nice spot, so Yeonjun helped the younger lay a blanket on the soft grass, where they sat down comfortably.

“I know that usually in this situation it would have been cute to bring home-cooked food, but considering my cooking skills I decided to settle on takeaway from that Chinese restaurant you like and some snacks from the convenience store. Not very romantic, but definitely more romantic than giving you shitty food, you know?” Mumbled Beomgyu as he set the various foods that he bought on the blanket.

“Oh, I do know. You’ve already given me food poisoning once, and once was enough.” Said Yeonjun solemnly as he eyed the food, pleased to see the younger had bought all of his favourite snacks.

“When will you stop bringing that up?” Whined Beomgyu. “I apologised like a million times. Get over it!”

“Get over it?” Repeated incredulously Yeonjun. “You poisoned me!”

Beomgyu rolled his eyes huffing. “And then you say I’m the dramatic one.”

“You used expired milk for a milk cake!” Yeonjun glared at him, crossing his arms. Beomgyu mimicked him and shrugged.

“I forgot to read the expiration date, big deal. Can happen to the best of us.”

“Yeah, whatever you say.” Rolled his eyes Yeonjun, looking over the food. “Did you bring chopsticks?”

Beomgyu snorted, taking out of the picnic basket two pairs of chopsticks, mumbling:
“Of course I brought chopsticks, you thought I was gonna make you eat noodles with your hands?”

“No, but knowing how forgetful and easily distracted you can be I just wanted to make sure.” Teased Yeonjun, opening the small takeaway box containing the noodles and tasting them. They were obviously cold but nevertheless good.

“I’m the forgetful one?” Scoffed Beomgyu incredulously. “Need I remind you who forgot to buy me a Valentine’s day gift for two years in a row?”

“You know I get confused with dates, how do you expect me to remember it if you don’t remind me of it?” Complained the pink-haired male, mouth stuffed with food, making Beomgyu sigh and shake his head.

“Not my fault you’re a moron who thinks Valentine’s day is in March.”

“Hey, don’t call me a moron. You’re the one who used expired milk, dumb ass!” Argued Yeonjun, trying to hide his smile.

Beomgyu gasped dramatically, clutching his heart and making the older chuckle.

“How dare you! That milk cake might not have been very good but I made it with love, putting my blood sweat and tears in it!”

“I don’t think it’s that hard to make a milk cake.” Yeonjun pointed out, but Beomgyu just shushed him and continued.

“And then, after you got tragically and randomly sick, who was there for you to help you recover?! Me! And this is the thanks I get?!”

Yeonjun looked at him sceptically, arching one eyebrow. “What do you mean ‘who was there to help you’? While I was throwing up in the toilet, instead of staying there with me to hold me, you literally stood outside, shouting words of encouragement through the door.”

“Listen, I love you and all, but you know how I feel about vomit, it’s so fucking gross.” Commented Beomgyu, fake gagging just to be even more dramatic.

However, Yeonjun didn’t respond, going silent.

And that’s when Beomgyu realised.

‘I love you’.

They haven’t said that to each other in… he can’t even remember how long.

His eyes went wide with regret and fear that he may have ruined the night.
“I’m- I’m sorry. I just- you know, force of habit-”

“It’s fine.” Yeonjun interrupted him, a kind smile on his face. “No need to apologise. Tonight we’re not supposed to think about all that went wrong but rather celebrate what went right, ok?” He said, leaning towards the younger and gently brushing away the strands of hair that had fallen over the brunette’s eyes.

Beomgyu smiled, warmth spreading through his chest at the loving gesture. “Ok.”

After that they focused on eating, exchanging a few words here and there but staying mostly silent. Once they were both satisfied with their meal they decided to lay down on the blanket to look at the stars.

They sat in comfortable silence, little space between their bodies given that the blanket was pretty small, however, they didn’t dare to touch each other. They simply breathed in each other’s presence, taking in the beautiful night sky, shiny wide eyes that reflected the stars above them.

“You know…” Yeonjun spoke after about ten minutes spent like that, voice just barely above a whisper as if scared to ruin the moment. “It’s been forever since I heard you play the guitar.” He said, gaze landing on the instrument laying down on the grass next to them.

Beomgyu followed his gaze, a knowing smile growing on his face.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I haven’t heard you play since that one gig you had at Yoongi-hyung’s bar.”

“Are you serious?” Beomgyu widened his eyes, remembering the time their friend let him play a few of his original songs during a music night at the popular bar. “It’s been like half a year since that night.”

“I know.” Smiled bitterly Yeonjun. “As I said, it’s been so long.”

Beomgyu felt his heart clenching, remembering how he used to serenade the older almost every night before they started drifting apart. Yeonjun would often sleep over in his room, asking Beomgyu if he could sing him to sleep, saying that he always found the brunette’s voice calming and comforting. And Beomgyu was too weak to ever say no to his boyfriend.

Not much has changed now, because Beomgyu found himself, once again, giving in to the other’s request, reaching for his guitar with a playful smile on his face.

“We have to fix that, then.”

Yeonjun’s whole face lit up, sitting up as he excitedly observed the younger take the guitar out of its case, plucking the chords to check if they were all in tune.

“So, what do you want me to play?” Asked Beomgyu, sitting with his legs crossed and the instrument propped up on his lap.

“Whatever you want. I’m just happy with finally hearing your sweet voice.” Responded Yeonjun, snickering when he saw the other turn bright red and lower his gaze shily at the compliment.

Yeonjun was a straightforward and extremely flirty person, so by now Beomgyu had mostly gotten used to receiving all kinds of flattery even at the most random times, but he had one weak spot that always made him terribly flustered.

His voice was his Achilles’ heel. For a musician, any compliment related to their art is the highest type of flattery, but hearing someone compliment his voice made Beomgyu even more giddy than normal. As someone who used to sit silently in a corner during karaoke nights with his friends because he was too scared to sing in front of people, whenever someone (especially Yeonjun) said something nice about his singing he felt his heart swell up with happiness and pride.

Beomgyu was deep in thought for a few moments, fingers randomly plucking a few strings of the guitar as he debated on what to play.

“Well, since we were listening to Coldplay earlier in the car…” He murmured more to himself than to Yeonjun, looking down at the strings and taking a big breath before starting to play the chords of Sparks.

His fingers moved quickly and confidently on the instrument, yet the sound that they produced, though full and firm, was incredibly gentle, almost as if he was just caressing the guitar.

“Did I drive you away?” He started singing softly, almost in a whisper, voice barely audible over his gentle strumming.

Yeonjun, however, didn’t seem to mind, simply shuffling closer to the brunette, watching him intently just like a child would watch his favourite cartoon.

Beomgyu kept singing, eyes either closed shut or lowered to his hands as they expertly played that same sweet song that he used to serenade his boyfriend many times before on starry sleepless nights just like that one.

However, as he finished singing the first chorus and went once again silent, just strumming the chords for a while, his gaze somehow found Yeonjun’s.

The pink-haired male smiled, a smile so soft and encouraging that Beomgyu’s hands trembled for a moment.

“My heart is yours, it’s you that I hold on to…” His voice got slowly louder and bolder, adding intensity but never losing its softness. This time the brunette didn’t close his eyes as he sang the next verse, gaze locked with Yeonjun’s.

Yeonjun was slowly swaying from side to side, completely immersed in the song, letting himself be lulled by his boyfriend’s deep and smooth voice.

“Yeah I saw sparks...” As Beomgyu repeated this over and over again he found himself getting lost in the dark eyes that kept staring at him as if he were one of the bright stars that sparkled above them.

It had been so long since Yeonjun had looked at him, really looked at him, that Beomgyu almost forgot how intoxicating that gaze was, never failing to make him dizzy. He felt himself wishing for the song to never end just so that the older would keep staring at him as if he was the most precious thing in the whole world.

However, sadly, the song had to end eventually, so Beomgyu reluctantly strummed the chords one last time, letting the sound echo in the silent night.

Yet, Yeonjun’s gaze on him didn’t falter in the slightest, even when the brunette put carefully aside the guitar.

Suddenly Yeonjun’s hands were on his face, gently cupping his cheeks, as the older slowly leaned in, an action so familiar yet so foreign to Beomgyu.

The night fell completely silent, almost as if even the wind and the crickets sitting in the trees were holding their breaths in anticipation, the starry sky acting as a blanket hiding them away in a different time and space from the rest of the world, in their own little Universe made of shaky breaths and tender touches.

Beomgyu felt Yeonjun’s lips press against his own.

And in that moment he really saw sparks.

He had almost forgotten how incredibly soft those lips were and how skillfully they moved against his own.

He had almost forgotten how perfectly they fit together, like two puzzle pieces.

He had almost forgotten how it took only one playful swipe of Yeonjun’s tongue against his mouth to make him crumble and fall apart in the most beautiful way possible.

He had almost forgotten how it felt to have his boyfriend hold and cradle him with gentle tenderness as a stark contrast to the way his poor lips were being devoured with what he didn’t know whether to describe as either passion or desperation. Perhaps a bit of both.

He couldn’t focus on one single thought that ran through his head, finding it impossible to think of anything else but the intensity with which Yeonjun was kissing him.

He ran his hands through Yeonjun’s pink hair, loving how, now that the elder had let his mullet grow, it was easier for him to grab a handful of the soft locks, gently tugging at it in a way he knew the other loved.

Yeonjun’s arms were circling his waist, pushing their bodies flush against one another, Beomgyu ended up sitting on his lap.

The brunette’s sighs and gasps were being mercilessly devoured by Yeonjun, who didn’t seem intent on stopping even for a second to gain his breath, instead holding Beomgyu even tighter, almost squeezing him with the force of his hug.

They hadn’t kissed with this much intensity in many months, and yet Beomgyu was already, once again, addicted to the taste of Yeonjun on his tongue.

Before he could stop his train of thought he found himself wondering why they were even breaking up.

How could they break up when their bodies and lips were constantly being pushed together like magnets by this much desire as if meant to be?
How could they break up when he felt as if the sole purpose of his existence was to be kissed like this by Yeonjun?

However, when the other’s hands gripped his hips trying to impossibly pull him even closer, he felt as if something was off.

Yeonjun had never kissed him with so much desperation. It was as if he was trying to achieve something, as if sealed behind Beomgyu's lips he would find what he had lost.

And then Yeonjun pulled away, eyes cast downwards as a sigh escaped his red and swollen lips. That’s when Beomgyu was reminded of why they were breaking up.

Yeonjun didn’t love him anymore.

Even after desperately trying to reignite the fire that used to burn for the brunette through that maddening kiss, the sad reality remained unchanged.

“I’m sorry.” Murmured brokenly Yeonjun, as if having read his mind. Or maybe he had simply read the realisation followed by devastating defeat on the younger boy's expression.

“You don’t have to apologise. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Beomgyu tried to smile forcefully, unsteadily climbing off the other’s lap and sitting once again on the blanket.

Yeonjun awkwardly ran his hand through his messed up hair, trying to regain his composure.

An uncomfortable silence settled over them, gazes avoiding one another as they basked in their own shared embarrassment.

Beomgyu silently sighed, head hung low as he nervously ruffled his hair. His mind kept replaying the kiss over and over, mocking him and making him want to drown in his own shame at the reminder of his previous neediness and thoughts.

He was mad, but at himself. He was mad that a small part of him believed that this night could end in any other way but with their breakup. He was mad that, deep down, when planning this night he had hoped that maybe he would be able to win the other back.

However, he now realised how stupid it was of him.
No matter how many dates he took Yeonjun on, how much cotton candy he bought for him, how many picnics he prepared or how many beautiful places he took him, things wouldn’t change.

Love isn’t something that can be forced, and Yeonjun had fallen out of love with him.

He suddenly starts wondering if it was even a good idea to plan this whole night in the first place. Perhaps it would have been easier to just toughen up and take the hit, letting Yeonjun break up with him at the campus diner. Painful but quick, just like ripping off a bandaid.

Maybe they should just go home before more damage is done.

With that in mind, Beomgyu sighed once again, finally lifting up his head to look at the pink-haired male.

“Want me to drive you home?”

Yeonjun widened his eyes, a confused frown on his face.

“What? Already?”

“It’s fine if you want to go, you’re not gonna hurt my feelings.”

While Beomgyu had given up, Yeonjun didn’t falter, solemnly shaking his head.

“I’m serious, I don’t want to go so soon.” He leaned over, hand brushing over the brunette’s, a grin on his face.

“After all, the night’s still young.”

However, when he saw that there was still doubt in the younger’s face, Yeonjun got up, stepping off the blanket.

Beomgyu’s eyes followed his movements, widening in surprise when the older boy suddenly bowed down like a prince trying to court a princess at a ball, extending his hand towards the brunette.

“May I have this dance?”

“What?”

Yeonjun giggled at the younger’s dumbfounded expression, refusing to move from his awkward bow.

“Dance with me, just like we always used to do.” He stated confidently, but his voice softened as he added: “Please?”

Beomgyu bit his lower lip to hide his endeared smile, hand hesitantly meeting Yeonjun’s, who gripped it tightly and used it to pull him up on his feet.

Like they had done a million times before, Yeonjun’s arms circled the younger, pulling him close, ready to dance together.

“Wait, aren’t you going to put on music?” Asked Beomgyu in a confused frown, looking up at the other boy, who smiled cheekily.

“We don’t need music, Our heartbeats are enough to guide us.” He declared theatrically, at which Beomgyu arched one eyebrow, looking at him sceptically for a few seconds as he processed the elder’s sentence, before fake gagging.

“God, that was the lamest and cheesiest thing I have ever heard.” 

Yeonjun rolled his eyes, hiding his actual happiness at seeing the brunette smile once again.

“Shut up and dance with me.”

“Now we’re just quoting random popular songs from the early 2010s?”

“God, you’re insufferable.” Groaned Yeonjun, letting the younger go just to fumble in his pocket, fishing out his phone. “Let me put on some music, that way I won’t have to hear you talk.”

Yeonjun pursed his lips as he thoroughly searched for the right playlist, face lighting up when he found it, playing it at maximum volume as he tossed back his phone on the blanket.

“How gay of you.” Commented Beomgyu when he heard Mr Loverman by Ricky Montgomery start playing, making the older smirk.

“I know what my boy likes.”

Beomgyu felt his heart flipping in his chest at the words “my boy”, but he tried to play it off, simply rolling his eyes as to avoid eye contact with the elder.

Yeonjun, however, wouldn’t let himself be ignored, once again extending one hand towards the brunette and asking with a very poorly executed English accent:

“May I have the honour?”

Beomgyu couldn’t help but smile at his boyfriend’s goofiness, giving in.

“Yes, you may.” He stated with a small bow of his own, taking the pink-haired man’s hand.

Yeonjun didn’t lose a beat, interlacing their fingers together and pulling Beomgyu to his chest, gently placing his other hand on the younger’s waist and beginning to rock from one side to the other, following the song.

Beomgyu followed suit, hand on the older boy’s shoulder, a soft smile on his lips.

Yeonjun reciprocated the smile, taking small steps back and forward, leading the brunette in a slow waltz.

Beomgyu struggled a bit to follow the dancer’s steps, trampling his feet many times before getting into the flow of it all.

Yeonjun didn’t mind, simply chuckling whenever the younger stepped on his feet, patiently guiding him and encouraging him.

“I’m awful at this.” Murmured Beomgyu through a breathy laugh, but Yeonjun smiled reassuringly and shook his head.

“No, you’re not. I’ve seen people do much worse, you’re a bit clumsy but you’re perfectly on beat.”

“I would hope so, I haven’t spent the last ten years of my life studying music for nothing.” Huffed the younger, making Yeonjun laugh.

The pink-haired man then raised their clasped hands, Beomgyu getting the cue and doing a quick twirl, all accompanied by his sweet laugh.

“See, you’re already getting the hang of it!” Encouraged Yeonjun, pushing once again their chests together.

“Yeah, watch out ‘cause I’m coming for your place as best dancer on campus.” Joked Beomgyu, and this time he was the one to make the other twirl gracefully.

Their giggles echoed in the air along with the music and the sound of their shoes on the grass, bright starry sky looming above them.

And like that, many songs flew by, with the two of them trying out different dance moves and laughing freely, entertaining themselves with simple conversations or friendly bickering, singing their hearts out whenever a particularly dramatic song came on, not worrying about how they might have looked completely drunk to anyone else.

Perhaps they really were drunk. Deeply intoxicated by the starlight all around them, dizzy from all of their dancing, tipsy on serotonin thanks to their loud laughs and high on the feeling of their hands on each other.

A much slower song started playing, finally calming them down. Not that Beomgyu’s heart rate was getting any slower, instead speeding up when Yeonjun let go of his hand just to tightly hug his waist.

It took Beomgyu a few seconds to reciprocate, surprised by how quickly the older went from jumping and spinning around, cackling whenever the brunette tripped on his own feet, to holding him with such intimate sweetness.

He wrapped his own hands around Yeonjun’s neck, burying his head in the crook of the taller boy's shoulder, deeply breathing in his familiar scent.

He always smelled like cheap perfume and lavender shampoo.

Countless times he’s fallen asleep to that same delicate scent, face buried in the older’s chest or hair, comforted and relaxed by it.

When exams are nearing, the smell of black coffee is also added to the mix, and even though Beomgyu despised that bitter beverage, only drinking coffee with loads of sugar and cream, he grew to love the smell of it just because it reminded him of his boyfriend.

He barely felt Yeonjun’s lips brush against his hair, but that light contact still managed to make him feel giddy and warm.

Yeonjun’s hand was drawing small circles on his back, touch so delicate to make the brunette shiver as goosebumps formed on his skin.

Beomgyu couldn’t help but sigh softly, breath tickling the pink-haired male’s neck, and his arms tightened around it, trying to bring the other impossibly closer.
At that Yeonjun chuckled, a smile forming on his lips when he felt the younger boy snuggle into him and squeeze him as if he was hugging a stuffed toy.

“Hey, at this rate you’re going to choke me. And not in the good way.” Joked Yeonjun, expecting the brunette to glare at him and insult him for the dirty joke, but he was met with no answer.

“Gyu?” He asked, expression filling with worry when he heard a quiet sniffle.

“Hey, are you ok?” He held Beomgyu’s shoulder to try and get him to look up, but the brunette only hugged him tighter, face still hidden against his shoulder.

“I’m really starting to regret this date.” Mumbled Beomgyu, voice muffled and feeble.

“What? Why? Did I do something wrong?” Yeonjun frowned, growing more worried by the second, especially when he felt the younger’s shoulders tremble under his touch.

“No, you didn’t. You’ve been absolutely perfect. That’s the problem.”

“Why?”

Beomgyu finally looked up, eyes filled with tears and a bitter smile on his lips.

“Because now you’re making it really fucking hard to say goodbye.”

Yeonjun didn’t know how to respond to that. He saw Beomgyu’s eyes flash with what looked like shame, before he felt the brunette try to pull away from him, making him snap out of his daze. He grabbed one of the boy’s hands, gently cupping his face with the other one in an attempt to make their gazes meet.

“Hey, this doesn’t- it doesn’t need to be a goodbye. It’s just a… a ‘see you later’.” He stuttered, trying to smile reassuringly, but Beomgyu didn’t seem to believe him.

“What do you mean? A break-up is a goodbye.” He stated bitterly, however, the older didn’t give up, thumb brushing over his cheek and catching a stray tear.

“It doesn’t need to be. We can still be friends, right? We don’t need to completely part ways. After all, we were best friends before we became boyfriends.”

Beomgyu finally looked at him, uncertainty clear on his features.

“Do you really think that’ll work? Being friends with your ex? Do you believe that we can go back to just being friends after all that we’ve been through?”

Yeonjun deflated a bit at that, but he refused to give up on the brunette.

“I know that it will be difficult, but I believe we can make it work. Perhaps not right away, but we can try to get used to it.”

Beomgyu silently nodded, even though he didn’t look convinced at all. The older boy noticed it, slouching slightly to be at eye-level with the brunette and once again cupping his face with both of his hands.

“Hey, even if staying friends doesn’t work out, who knows what will happen! Right now we’re both too different, we want different things in life, we’re out of sync. But maybe in a few years that’ll change. Who’s to say that we won’t meet again in, like, ten years from now and fall in love with each other all over again?”

Beomgyu sceptically arched one eyebrow, but his lips were slightly curved in a small smile.

“What are really the chances of that happening? This isn’t a rom-com.” He rolled his eyes, but Yeonjun only smiled wider.

“These things can happen in real life too!” He protested, making the brunette chuckle.

“Thanks for trying to cheer me up, but… please don’t say things like that.” He said, suddenly serious.

“Why?”

“Because then I’ll just keep holding onto this feeble hope.” Admitted Beomgyu, eyes shiny with unshed tears. “And I’ll never be able to move on from you.”

Yeonjun was once again rendered speechless, feeling a pang of guilt rising through his chest.

He wished he could just snap his fingers and make everything turn back to how it once was. Turn back to when they were happy together.
Turn back to when he was completely in love with the beautiful boy standing in front of him.

Maybe there were some lingering feelings in his heart. Scratch that, there definitely were lingering feelings in his heart for the boy, but they were overpowered by the pain that those same feelings had brought to him in the last couple of months.

Even if he tried to dig deep within himself to make his love for the brunette resurface, there was no use in trying to keep their relationship going, as it would only be putting off the inevitable break-up.

He hadn’t told the younger boy yet, but he had applied for the New York dance academy that he had always aspired to, miraculously managing to get in. That’s what made him text Beomgyu the night before in the first place.

It devastated him to reach that decision, but he knew that it was the best thing for both of them. He would leave shortly after his graduation, so he had to do it before finals as to not risk ruining his or Beomgyu’s results, instead leaving them both time to process the break-up and then focus on their studies.

It was the best thing to do, but it hurt so fucking much.

As he looked at his love’s pained expression he could only think about how much it hurt to let this beautiful boy go.

The pain was so strong that it almost made him give up and abandon all reason and logic and keep holding onto the boy.

But he had always been a man of logic, used to shutting out his emotions in favour of listening to his brain.

To alleviate the ache in his chest he tangled his hand in Beomgyu’s hair, softly threading through it before pushing the brunette’s head in the crook of his neck, both to comfort the younger and to avoid seeing his expression, knowing that he was weak against those doe eyes.

Beomgyu didn’t question him, burying his face in the elder’s shoulder and letting himself be hugged so tight to almost take his breath away.

They stayed like that for only God knows how long, clinging desperately onto each other, the heat of their embrace serving as a stark contrast to the chilly night that enveloped them.

At one point the soft music that had acted as a background to their gloomy goodbye stopped, signalling that the playlist chosen by Yeonjun had already ended.

The pink-haired male, noticing it, softly patted Beomgyu’s shoulder. The brunette got the silent request, breaking their tight embrace so that Yeonjun could lean down and grab his phone from the blanket.

“It’s half-past one.” Yeonjun read the time, surprised by how quickly the night was flying by. “Maybe it’s time to start heading back.”

Beomgyu nodded slowly, eyes cast on his shoes.

Yeonjun made a move to grab the blanket and picnic basket from the ground, jolting in surprise when he felt a hand on his wrist stopping him.

He turned around, surprised to see the brunette staring at him with an odd mix of determination and hesitance, cheeks bright red but eyes fiery.

“Can I kiss you?” Blurted out Beomgyu, becoming quieter as he added: “Please? One last time before we part ways?”

Yeonjun smiled tenderly, moving to hold the hand wrapped around his wrist, intertwining their fingers together.

“How could I ever say no?”

Beomgyu lookws up at him, his cold hand reaching out to cup Yeonjun’s warm cheek, before slowly leaning in.

It started out simple, with the brunette just brushing their lips together in an innocent peck.

However, once Beomgyu leaned back and locked eyes with the elder, he threw all caution out of the window. This was his last chance to taste the boy’s soft lips, he sure as hell wasn’t going to let it go to waste.

He stood on his tiptoes to be at eye level with the other boy, circling his shoulders with his arms to pull him closer before diving back in with a much bolder kiss.

Yeonjun, while a bit surprised by the other’s eagerness, reciprocated almost immediately, his instinct pushing him to sneak his hands around the brunette’s waist and pull him flat against his chest.

Just like they did during their previous kiss, Beomgyu’s hands settled between the other’s pink locks, tenderly threading his fingers through them a few times before harshly tugging at them.

Yeonjun moaned at that, and the brunette didn’t waste his chance to deepen the kiss by swiftly pushing his tongue past the older boy’s lips.

Before they could realise what was happening, what was supposed to be a simple goodbye kiss grew into something more as their tongues danced and swirled together just like the two boys were doing a few minutes prior.

Bromgyu gasped into his lover’s mouth when Yeonjun bit his lower lip, the needy sound only making the pink-haired male rougher as he nibbled and sucked on his lips.

Soon Yeonjun was leaving a trail of wet kisses all along the brunette’s jaw and neck, licking and sucking his amber skin as if it was made of honey, breath hitching when he felt Beomgyu’s hands slip under his shirt to lightly caress his hips and his back.

Beomgyu, keeping his eyes closed and head tipped back to let Yeonjun mark his neck more easily, then moved his hands to pull at the other’s jacket, helping him take it off.

Yeonjun quickly discarded the thin jean jacket, letting it fall on the ground without care, hands immediately going back to gripping the brunette’s hips.

He pulled Beomgyu towards himself before gently pushing him down on the ground, joining him to sit on the grass and smash their lips together once again.

In the bat of an eye, Beomgyu found himself lying down on the picnic blanket, Yeonjun on top of him kissing him fervently and leaving soft touches all over him.

However, when he felt Yeonjun’s hand inching dangerously close to his inner thigh, he had to summon all of his strength and break the kiss.

“Yeah, I’m not doing it here.” He heaved against the other’s lips, feeling like he had just run a marathon by how out of breath he was.

“Why? Isn’t it romantic to have our last time here under the stars?” Asked Yeonjun, peppering light kisses down his jaw and neck, at which the younger scoffed.

“Yes, it will be really romantic when some random stranger who just happens to walk by here catches us doing it. Are you forgetting that we’re in a public space?”

“There’s literally no one but us.” Deadpanned Yeonjun, but the brunette wouldn’t budge.

“For now! What if -like- a family with young kids walks by, huh? Would you care to explain to the police why we’re out here traumatising children, huh?!”

“A family with young children just casually walking through a random field at one in the morning on a Thursday night?”

“Could be a family tradition, we don’t know. The point is: I don’t care if this is your kink, but I’m not planning on getting arrested for public indecency.”

“Alright, you drama queen.” Sighed Yeonjun, getting off of the younger boy.
However, Beomgyu wasn’t done.

“Plus it’s way too fucking cold!”

“It’s spring!” Protested Yeonjun, incredulously.

“Exactly. Spring isn’t summer! It’s too cold to be naked out here in the middle of the night!”

“Ok, I get it. You convinced me at ‘getting arrested for public indecency.’” Chuckled Yeonjun, sighing before sitting up and grabbing his jacket from the ground with the intention of putting it back on.

However, he was stopped by Beomgyu mumbling something that he couldn’t quite hear.

“Sorry, what?” He asked innocently, which made the younger blush but repeat himself nevertheless.

“I said, there’s no need for you to put it back on.”

“And why is that? Like you just said, it’s pretty cold. If we’re not gonna do anything I might as well keep myself warm.”

“W-well… I said we can’t do anything here in the open, but… I’ve got a car.” Stuttered Beomgyu, growing even more flustered when he saw the other’s huge smirk.

“Wow, Choi Beomgyu! That is so inappropriate, how could you suggest such a lewd thing?” Teased Yeonjun, pretending to be shocked, which only made the younger turn even redder.

“Fuck off.”

“Plus, what if a family with young children catches us?!” Mocked the older boy dramatically, laughing when the younger showed him his middle finger.
“You know that your windows aren’t black tinted like a limo, right?”

“Keep this up and I’ll get in the car by myself and let you walk back to campus.” Deadpanned Beomgyu, making Yeonjun laugh and shake his head.

“Sorry, I’m done, ok? Now let’s hurry and put everything back in the car so that we don’t risk getting robbed while we have some fun.” The pink-haired man winked, making the younger roll his eyes.

That’s how they found themselves kissing passionately once again in the back of Beomgyu’s car, limbs tangled together and hands all over each other as the younger straddled Yeonjun’s lap.

“You know,” murmured the latter against the brunette’s lips as the younger busied himself by bruising up his neck and taking off his shirt, “this reminds me of your senior prom.”

Beomgyu stopped trailing kisses along the elder’s bare chest for a second to look in his eyes and chuckle.

“Yeah, that was the first and last time we did it in a car. Until today.” He smirked, and the other laughed, shifting in the seat.

“And it is just as uncomfortable as the first time.”

“You didn’t seem to mind last time.” Teased Beomgyu, brushing his lips against the other’s.

“Of course I didn’t. You were so fucking pretty that night. With your silver hair, rosy cheeks, and all dressed up for prom… you made all of the uncomfortableness and the scratchy leather of the cheap car seat worth it.” Mumbled Yeonjun, gripping the younger’s hips and pressing their lips together in a wet kiss.

Beomgyu melted against him, a breathy laugh escaping his throat as he leaned back and looked at the other.

“You weren’t quite bad either that night, if I remember correctly. I really liked your blue hair. Not as much as I love you in pink, though.” He said while carding his fingers through the older’s pink locks, Yeonjun closing his eyes at the action.

“Which reminds me,” suddenly said the brunette as he stifled a laugh. “I need to ask you this before we break up: once you become bald from all of this bleaching your hair, can you please send me a picture so that I’ll have something to laugh at whenever I’m sad?”

“Can you stop joking about this?!” Spluttered Yeonjun indignantly. “Who says I’m going to become bald?!”

“Please, I’ve seen your hairbrushes, you shed more hair than a golden retriever. You’re gonna be left with nothing by the time you’re thirty.”

“I really don’t like the turn this conversation took. I thought you were supposed to talk about how handsome I looked on your senior prom, yet you’re just trying to hurt my feelings.” Grumbled Yeonjun with a pout, making the brunette laugh and kiss him sweetly.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. You looked so handsome!” Giggled Beomgyu while caressing the other’s face.

“Don’t patronise me.” Yeonjun childishly frowned, making the brunette giggle and sweetly pinch his cheeks.

“I’m serious! I remember that all of the girls there were fuming with jealousy because of my super gorgeous boyfriend.” This seemed to please the pink-haired male, who sighed dreamily as if reminiscing that night.

“Well, I don’t really remember that. I was so busy admiring you that I probably didn’t even notice.”

“God. you’re so cheesy.” Scoffed the younger while throwing his arms around the elder’s neck. “And you definitely did notice because you bragged about it the whole night, you narcissist.”

“Oh, yeah. Now I remember.” Grinned Yeonjun, at which the younger boy rolled his eyes.

“I found it annoying then, and I find it annoying now.”

“Really? Then why have you ended up writhing and moaning on my lap both times?” Said the elder with a smirk, making the brunette blush and glare at him.

“It’s just to shut you up.”

Yeonjun laughed before starting to leave a trail of kisses on the younger’s jaw and neck in an attempt to get him to stop frowning, which worked really well because after a while the brunette was smiling and sighing in pleasure.

Beomgyu closed his eyes, a small whimper leaving his lips as he felt the older nibble at a sensitive spot on his neck, biting and sucking in a way that would for sure leave a prominent hickey.

“You know…” murmured Yeonjun as he placed one last kiss on the sore spot before raising his head to meet the brunette’s eyes “I also remember that when we drove back to your house after prom your mom scolded me for letting you stay out so late. Little did she know that it was your fault for throwing yourself at me as soon as we got in the car.”

Beomgyu chuckled, remembering the pained expression on the elder’s face as his mother lectured him about needing to take better care of her child once they’re both off to college together. While his mom absolutely loved Yeonjun, she was also a bit overprotective of her son, so him getting home over an hour past the curfew was a tragedy in her eyes.

“Don’t laugh, it’s not funny!” Frowned Yeonjun, which only increased the other’s laughter.

“It was a bit funny.”

“Not for me! I was going to sleep over at your place anyway, you didn’t need to make me suffer like that just because, apparently, you really enjoy car sex.”

“I’m ignoring that last comment,” glared Beomgyu, “but can you really blame me for wanting to jump your bones as soon as possible? After months of distance because you were off to college, you suddenly knock on my door to surprise me and be my date to prom. I was not only touch starved but also very moved by your gesture.”

Yeonjun smiled, seeming pleased with himself.
“Yeah, that was very romantic of me. I was a pretty great boyfriend, wasn’t I?”

“Yeah, you really are.” Smiled Beomgyu, less radiant than usual.

Yeonjun hugged his waist, pushing once again their lips together in a heated kiss, yet he was quick to notice that something was wrong from the lack of response in the younger boy.

“Is everything ok? Do you want to stop?” He asked worriedly.

“Huh?” Beomgyu broke out of his daze, eyes going wide as he shook his head. “No, please don’t stop. Sorry, I was just thinking.”

He leaned forward to continue their kiss, but was stopped by the pink-haired man putting a hand on his chest and giving him a serious look.

“I know you, you’re not just thinking but overthinking. We don’t have to rush, I don’t want you to be anxious or distracted. We have all night to ourselves, so just tell me what’s on your mind before it eats you alive.” Said the elder as he brushed away a few strands of hair from Beomgyu’s forehead, which made the younger sigh tiredly.

“Why do you have to be so sweet and perfect all of the time? Could you please be just a bit of an asshole for once so that I don’t feel like such a terrible person?”

“Why would you feel like a terrible person?”

“Because you’re literally the most loving and caring boyfriend on Earth and yet I managed to push you away from me.”

Yeonjun found himself at a loss for words under the younger’s regretful gaze, hesitating before muttering: “We both made some mistakes-”

“No, you didn’t.” Smiled bitterly Beomgyu. “I was the one who took you for granted and now, rightfully so, you’ve had enough of it. I’m the one to blame for all of this-”

“I got into the dance academy in New York.” Blurted out Yeonjun, making the brunette stop in his tracks.

After a few moments of processing, Beomgyu’s eyes widened. “Really?”

“Yeah, I got an email from them a few days ago.”

“That’s great?” Smiled Beomgyu, but it sounded more like a question since he couldn’t figure out what that had to do with their conversation.

“That’s why I decided to break up with you. I mean, that’s not the only reason, but it’s the reason why I wanted to do it tonight.” Yeonjun explained, voice firm yet soft.

“Oh… ok. I get it.”

They fell silent for a few moments, awkwardness filling the air.

“Do you know what I also remember from your senior year?” Suddenly asked the older, making Bomegyu look up in confusion.

“I remember that we almost broke up then. The distance wasn’t working and we were growing farther and farther apart from each other. That’s why I decided to surprise you for prom… I was just trying to keep our love alive. And I’m so glad it worked, but…” Yeonjun sighed, sadly lowering his gaze. “I don’t think I can do it anymore.”

“I know.” Whispered the brunette sympathetically.

“This time I will be gone for much more than just a year, I’m not even sure if I’ll come back at all, and if we’re already having trouble while we’re on the same campus, I’m afraid we won’t stand a chance with a long distance relationship.”

“I know.”

“But please,” Yeonjun looked up and held the younger’s hands in his “don’t say that you’re the only one to blame. I’m really not the perfect boyfriend you make me out to be.”

“You know that humility doesn’t really help your case, right?” Lightly joked Beomgyu, but the elder kept going.

“I let myself be pushed away because I was so focused on just myself. I’m short-tempered, I snap way too often and I’m so easily frustrated. On the other hand, you are so bright and happy, you have so much patience with me and you never hold grudges like I do. You need someone who’s more controlled, someone patient who can bring out the best of you.”

“Junie…” Muttered Beomgyu, ready to disagree, but he was once again gently silenced by the elder.

“I’m not going to pretend that you’ve never hurt me before, but I’m not gonna pretend that I’ve never hurt you before either.”

Beomgyu lowered his head at that, not knowing what to respond.

“You need someone who will be there for you even when you shut yourself out. When you fall asleep with your head on the piano keyboard after a sleepless night spent writing songs, you need someone who will be there to tuck you back in bed and make you coffee in the morning, instead of someone who spends his night in the practice room, too busy to answer your texts. You need someone who will never make you spend Valentine's day alone at home crying over a stupid fight that I caused in the first place.”

“How did you know about that-”

“I’ve ran into your roommate Kai a few times. He’s pretty chatty. He's also not very fond of me after that particular incident.” Chuckled Yeonjun before turning serious once again.

“The point is: you need someone who can give you what I never could.”

Beomgyu shook his head, eyes sparkling with emotion as he whispered:

“Then why do I feel like all I need is you?”

“Eventually you’ll get over me.” Sweetly replied the older with a comforting smile. “This is what’s best for the both of us.”

“You’re right.” Beomgyu gave in, quickly wiping his eyes before swiftly getting off the pink-haired man’s lap, settling in the car seat beside him.

“I’m sorry, I keep ruining every nice moment with my whining.” The brunette laughed breathlessly, leaning forward to pick up his discarded cardigan from the car floor.

“Don’t say that. You didn’t ruin anything.” Yeonjun patted him on the shoulder, a grin forming on his face as he kept talking.

“After all, this whole night was your idea, a great idea. It was so smart of you, you did so good. You’re such a good boy.”

“A good boy? What am I, your dog?” Scoffed Beomgyu with an offended frown, glaring at the pink-haired man, stopping once he saw the other’s expression. “Wait, what are you trying to do?”

“Nothing. Why?” Smiled innocently Yeonjun, which only made the other boy more suspicious.

“Don’t lie. That’s your evil ‘I’m up to something’ smile. What are you doing?”

“I’m definitely not trying to see if you’ve still got a praise kink.” Smirked the elder, making Beomgyu blush bright red and splutter nonsense for a good few seconds.

“Wh- what the hell are you talking about?! I do not have a praise kink!”

“Sure you don’t, beautiful.” Winked Yeonjun, at which the brunette blushed even more.

“Shut up!” Basically screeched Beomgyu, stopping when he felt a hand on his thigh.

“Make me.”

He didn’t need to be told twice. In the blink of an eye Beomgyu was once again all over his lover in a mess of lips clashing together, hands gripping whatever they could reach and bodies pressing against one another.

Their hot and heavy breaths melted together as they mercilessly got rid of every piece of fabric standing in between them until there was just skin on skin.

Soon it all became blurry and frantic. All they could remember about that moment were their trembling frames fitting together like two puzzle pieces, their red and swollen lips falling agape and letting moans, whimpers and gasps echo in the small car. Hands molding soft flesh, nails scratching sensitive skin, beads of sweat shining on their bodies and dripping on the car seat.

They got lost in the pleasure, consuming one another through every kiss, thrust and bite for as long as they could, for as long as that lustful need kept burning deep within themselves.

It felt like a hurricane of passion and heat, an overwhelming dance filled with all of the things that up until that moment had been left unsaid, the intensity of it leaving them shaken up and breathless as they slowly came down from their high.

Their minds were as fogged up as the car windows, through which nothing could be seen anymore.

Beomgyu, exhausted, let his body fall forward, flush against the one laid down below him and head resting on Yeonjun’s bare chest, the same place that not too long ago he had marked with bruising kisses, taking big breaths to slow down his heart rate.

Yeonjun sighed in satisfaction, hands softly stroking the younger’s thighs that kept straddling him, unfocused gaze pointed at the car’s roof.

He gently patted the younger’s head as the brunette snuggled more into his chest, mindlessly fixing his messy hair.

“Are you sleepy?” He asked after a while of Beomgyu just laying on top of him, to which the boy shook his head and sat up, allowing Yeonjun to finally see his flushed face, lazy smile and clouded eyes.

“No, just a bit tired. You?”

“Same goes for me.” The elder smiled, slightly sitting up and leaning back on his hands.
“So… we have time for some cuddles?” Beomgyu asked hopefully, his sparkly eyes making the other let out an endeared chuckle.

“Of course, I would never deny you my cuddles.”

Beomgyu gleamed at that, letting the older boy adjust so that he was seated comfortably, the brunette immediately curling up against him.

Yeonjun buried his nose in the younger’s hair, fingers drawing soothing circles on his bare back as he held him close.

He turned his head towards the window, seeing that the fog was starting to disappear allowing him to notice the sky growing lighter, bright stars slowly vanishing to leave room for the first morning lights.

“It’s almost dawn.” Murmured Yeonjun, making the brunette look up and slightly smile at the pretty view of the world beginning to light up.

“Yeah, summer’s nearing so the sunrise is pretty early in the morning.”

“Soon we’ll have to go back to campus.” The older pointed out, trying to make his voice sound neutral, but couldn’t help the bit of dread seeping into his tone.

Beomgyu noticed it, a sympathetic smile on his lips.

“You’re right, but why don’t we enjoy the twilight for a while before leaving?”

Yeonjun smiled and nodded, eyes quietly thanking the other.

They quickly got dressed and exited the car, deciding to sit on its hood as they glanced at the sky.

Since it was still very early, the Sun was nowhere in sight, its light nothing more than a thin bright orange and yellow stripe sitting just over the horizon like a pair of arms hugging the Earth.

The sky above the warm line was powder blue, all of the stars hiding away from the light, shades darkening the upper you looked.

The sight wasn’t as beautiful as it must have been at the beach facing east, but the boys were enchanted by it nonetheless, admiring it in complete silence for endless instances.

“This last day…” Suddenly Yeonjun spoke up, wide eyes reflecting the twilight. “It has been like a dream. I don’t know about you, but I feel like here, alone in this place so far away from our usual lives, it’s like being in a whole different world, a place where time goes at its own pace. A world that we’ve filled with laughter and love, sunsets and sunrises. But now that this dream is almost over… I don’t want to wake up.”

Beomgyu turned towards the other, but Yeonjun didn’t meet his gaze, eyes still trained on the horizon, a bit more shiny than they were before.

“I don’t want to either, but… all beautiful dreams must end…”

“Because that’s what makes them truly beautiful.” Finished his sentence Yeonjun, the ghost of a smile on his lips as his melancholic gaze finally met the younger’s.

“Exactly. If they lasted forever then they wouldn’t be special.”

“Which is why our relationship has to end here. Because this way it’ll be more special. Right?”

Beomgyu nodded, eyes stinging but willing to keep his bright smile on.

“Yes, especially after making sure that there is no angry or hateful breakup to ruin it. Fifty years from now we’ll think back to these past seven years spent together and they’ll seem just like this past day: a beautiful dream. And though there may be a bit of nostalgia we’ll be happy thinking about it, storing all these memories in our hearts and pulling them out for comfort.”

“I like the thought of that.” Nodded Yeonjun, lips quirking in a hopeful grin. “Our relationship will become our secret happy place. A magical world that only we know, kept within our memories. It will be our connection, even if we never see each other again after our break up.”

“Our secret happy place.” Echoed Beomgyu with a nod, tenderly holding the elder’s hand in his.

They fell silent once again, laying down on the hood of the car as they kept looking at the blue and orange sky for a while.

Beomgyu at one point turned around, laying on his side, staring at Yeonjun’s side profile.

“Am I that handsome?” Smirked Yeonjun as he turned his head, catching the brunette red-handed.

“I’m just taking it all in before it’s gone. To remember this.” Simply replied the younger with a shrug of his shoulders.

Yeonjun turned serious at that, copying the younger and laying on his side so that they were face to face.

“You know I’ll never forget you, right?” He asked, hand reaching up to brush Beomgyu’s bangs away from his eyes.

“I know.”

“You were my first love. You will always be my first true love.”

“I also know that.” Chuckled Beomgyu, squeezing the other’s hand.

They stayed like that for a few moments, staring, admiring and studying each other. Trying to take notice of every single thing about the other, just like you would do at a museum with a complex painting.

They tried to memorise every mole, every scar, every pore and every eyelash on the other’s face. Every star, every shade and every emotion in the other’s eyes. Every precious detail being engraved in their minds forever.

Once enough mental pictures had been taken and they deemed to have seen everything there was to see, they finally tore their gazes away from each other, slowly, almost as if it pained them to do so.

“Well, then I guess there’s nothing left for me to say.” Sighed Yeonjun, attention going back to the sky.

“I guess not.” Replied Beomgyu, huffing as he sat up and jumped off the car, hand extending towards the older.
“Shall we?”

Yeonjun nodded, grabbing his hand and getting up,

Soon they found themselves sitting in the car once again, music echoing in the silent air and nature flowing by them as they travelled back through the small deserted street.

Beomgyu struggled to keep his eyes open and trained on the road, too tired to properly function now that the adrenaline was wearing off, which is why, once they were back in the city, Yeonjun offered to switch seats and drive for a while.

As soon as he was settled in the passenger seat Beomgyu went out like a light, head falling back on the headrest, slightly bobbing with every car movement.

Yeonjun smiled at the sight, turning off the music so as to not disturb the boy’s sleep before focusing back on the road.

Given the early hour, Seoul was particularly quiet and peaceful, a very rare sight which made Yeonjun enjoy the ride even more.

Sooner than he’d like he found himself pulling over right outside of their campus.

He sighed, turning his head to look at the sleeping boy beside him. He always looked so small and peaceful when sleeping, body curling up on himself and mouth agape as he breathed softly.

“Gyu, wake up.” Whispered Yeonjun, sweetly patting the brunette’s head, succeeding in making the boy stir awake.

“We’re here.” Was all that Yeonjun said as soon as those sleepy and confused eyes met his. Beomgyu woke up completely at that, nodding seriously.

They both got out of the car and took a few steps towards Beomgyu’s dorm building, Yeonjun residing in another one across campus with all the seniors, since they were divided by year.

It was now full dawn, the Sun rising through the sky in all of its bright and glowing glory, showering the two boys in its rays.

Yeonjun walked Beomgyu home one last time, their hearts heavy and light at the same time.

Even though they were back to their campus and therefore to their daily lives, they somehow felt as if they hadn’t woken up yet from their shared dream, their surroundings seeming new and strange even after years spent on that same place. They still felt as if they were walking on a cloud, the world muffled out by the bubbling feeling of both satisfaction and anxiety sitting in their stomachs. They were still so high on the beautiful night just spent that reality hadn’t fully dawned on them yet.

And then reality finally showed up.

“So… this is it, huh?” Beomgyu announced, pursuing his lips, feeling suddenly awkward as he fidgeted with his hands.

“I guess so.” Was Yeonjun’s soft response. “Are you ready?”

“I think so, yeah.” Breathed out the brunette with a slow nod, gaze avoiding the elder’s.

“Well then,” Yeonjun inhaled deeply, taking both of Beomgyu’s hands in his and looking the younger in the eye as he tenderly said:

“Choi Beomgyu, let’s break up.”

The younger couldn’t help but smile at the oddness of the scene.
With the beautiful sunrise shining upon them, painting just one side of their faces with its honey hue, their sparkling gazes locked in one another, hands clasped together and their peaceful expressions, from an outsider’s perspective it must have seemed like an incredibly romantic scene. The perfect setting for a love confession or a proposal, definitely not for a breakup.

The dawn might have suggested the start of something beautiful, yet it was really an ending.

The most beautiful ending Beomgyu could have hoped for.

Which is why he nodded, wide smile outshining his teary eyes as he echoed:

“Let’s break up.”

~~~

Beomgyu exhaled deeply, a white cloud leaving his lips as he did so and floating through the cool air.

He shivered as the piercing winter cold hit him, a deep contrast to the warmth of the store that he had just gone out of.

Already missing the comfort of his beloved heater, he started heading back home now that he was finally holding his Christmas gift for Kai, after a long day of searching.

He walked down the busy street, swerving through the many people rushing from one store to another just like he had been doing a little while earlier.

Through the years he had grown accustomed to the frantic mess that was Seoul, finding even comfort in it. He liked to be just a small dot in a big crowd.

He strolled peacefully on the sidewalk, eyes wandering as he looked at the many colourful shop windows, bright neon signs lightening up that dark winter night void of any star.

He was awoken by his thoughts when his shoulder bumped onto someone, the impact small but still a bit painful.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” He immediately said with a polite smile, turning around to look at the person whom he had just collided with. Yet as his gaze was met with a familiar face he froze on the spot.

His grip on the paper bag he was holding tightened instinctively as his whole body tensed up, his face previously pink from the cold now turning pale.

“Yeonjun?” He managed to blubber out in bewilderment, eyes training on the man’s face.

His pink hair was gone, replaced by a short black cut; his shoulders were visibly wider even under the big black coat he was wearing; his features were sharper, and his eyes looked more mature without the childish sparkle that they used to have; yet there was no doubt. Choi Yeonjun was standing in front of him, just as gorgeous as he was in his memories.

“Beomgyu?” Asked the other man with the same surprise, looking him up and down before breaking in a huge smile.
“It really is you!” He exclaimed as he pulled the younger man in for a quick but tight hug.

Beomgyu was too stunned to react, eyes wide and heart speeding up against his will as he felt the jet-haired man squeeze him in a way all too familiar.

“It’s been so long! When was the last time we saw each other? Like, seven years ago?” Yeonjun, friendly as ever, started chatting as soon as he let go of the younger, who nervously cleared his throat to regain his composure as he pointed out:

“Actually, eight years.”

“God, I can’t believe it’s been that long. I feel so old.” Chuckled Yeonjun, slightly shaking his head.

“You are old.”

“I see that you’re still as much of a brat as you were eight years ago.” Yeonjun sighed with a fake glare, making the younger snicker under his breath.

“So, how are you? What have you been up to these last eight years?” Asked Yeonjun, putting a hand on the younger’s shoulder to guide him towards the edge of the sidewalk so that they could stop and talk without blocking the way for other people.

“Nothing much.” Shrugged Beomgyu, awkwardly scratching his head. While he was happy to see the other, he couldn’t help this weird uncomfortable feeling that sat in his chest. After all, last time they had talked it was to break up.

He wondered how the elder could talk to him so easily, as if they were simple friends or acquaintances and not two ex-lovers.

“Nothing much?” Echoed Yeonjun with a scoff. “Don’t lie to my face, Mr. big and famous music producer at HYDE!”

“Oh, yeah. I’ve been doing pretty well lately at my job.” Chuckled Beomgyu, at which the raven-haired male arched one eyebrow.

“Most hit songs from the last few years have your name attached to them, so I’d say that ‘pretty well’ is a bit of an understatement.”

Beomgyu simply laughed it off, face heating up at the flattery. Turns out that even after eight years of not speaking to each other, the elder’s words had the same weight and power over him as they did when they were together.

“All jokes aside, I’m really happy things have worked out so well for you. I always knew you were gonna make it.” Yeonjun smiled proudly, and Beomgyu cursed his heart for not having grown any stronger through the years, being now just as weak as ever for that sweet smile.

“Thank you, but you’re making it sound like a bigger deal than it is. It’s not like I’ve become a celebrity, most people don’t even know who produced the songs that they like. Not that I mind, I actually prefer having my privacy while still making loads of money.” Smirked Beomgyu, joking around to hide his flustered state.

“Stop pretending to be modest, it doesn’t suit you.” Teased the elder. “Plus I always recognise your songs when they play on the radio. After years of you sending me hundreds of drafts of your songs in the middle of the night to get an outside opinion, I’ve grown to know your writing style pretty well.”

Beomgyu forced a smile, trying to mask the way his heart fluttered at the thought of the elder hearing a song on the radio and, even after all those years distant from one another, immediately thinking of him.

It reassured him that he wasn’t the crazy one for still thinking about the other regularly and not being able to completely move on from his first love in eight whole years. Or, maybe, they were simply both crazy.

“Well, enough about me. What have you done in all these years? Last time we talked you were taking off to a dance academy in New York.”

“Was that really the last time ever? It seems like a lifetime ago.” Commented Yeonjun in surprise, at which the younger one nodded.

“Yeah, we texted like a few days before your departure and then never again.” He chuckled even if that memory was all but funny, instead leaving on his tongue a bitter taste just as vivid as the regretful memory of eight years prior.

It had been just a little less than a month from their breakup, but the wound was still as fresh as new, especially once there were no more exams to distract him from the pain.

Their plan to remain friends wasn’t working as well as they would have hoped seeing as they hadn’t talked even once in all those weeks. Not that Beomgyu expected otherwise, it was predictable that it would have taken them more time to find the courage to see each other again.

Apparently, Yeonjun was much braver than him, judging from the text that made Beomgyu’s phone screen lit up on an early summer morning.

After an awkward greeting, the elder delivered the news that Beomgyu had dreaded for all those past weeks: in a few days, he would leave for the dance academy.
As if that notion hadn’t just made the younger’s heart stop, Yeonjun ended the text by informing him of a small goodbye party that a few of his friends had decided to throw, inviting Beomgyu.

He spent the rest of the day reading and re-reading that same text, debating on what to answer.

Only once he found himself under his bedsheets engulfed by the darkness of his room, the blue glow of his phone shining on his tired face, he finally responded.

He politely declined the offer, claiming to be busy.

It pained him to do so, but he knew that it would have been much more painful to go.

He couldn’t have survived another goodbye. Their last one completely broke him, and he wasn’t sure if he could have done it again.

He had already spent too many weeks locked in his room, crying himself to sleep because he missed his love, his roommate Kai as his only source of comfort and human contact.

He couldn’t go through that again.

“Well, I spent four years at the academy.” Yeonjun’s voice brought him back to the present.

“It was really useful, I got the chance to do many shows all over the country, but I soon got stressed and homesick. It all became a bit too much, I struggled a lot during that last year.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Frowned Beomgyu, but the elder just shrugged.

“It happens. Sometimes you do something thinking that it’s the right thing for you, just to end up regretting it.”

Beomgyu gulped, understanding those words all too well.

“Once I realised how miserable I was I decided to move back to Korea. I stayed with my family for a while as I tried to get my life back together. Then with- with a bit of help, I applied for a dance instructor’s job here in Seoul and… well, here I am.”

“That’s great to hear. Looks like we both achieved our high school dreams, career-wise.” The younger smiled excitedly, patting the raven-haired man on the shoulder.

“Yeah…” Yeonjun tried to reciprocate, but he suddenly looked nervous. He started fidgeting, weight shifting from one foot to the other before murmuring:
“Actually, that’s not all that happened.”

“What else?” Beomgyu gently nudged him, not understanding the other’s shift in mood.

“I actually…” The older man hesitated as if debating whether to say it or not.

“I actually just got engaged.”

He took one of his hands out of his coat’s pocket, a simple yet elegant ring adorning his finger, a small precious stone glowing under the city lights, almost blinding to Beomgyu’s eyes.

And, just like that, Beomgyu felt his heart shatter for the second time in his life.

He didn’t know what was worse, the pain in his chest or the embarrassment at the knowledge that his only two heartbreaks were both caused by the same man.

Said man was looking at him expectantly, reminding him that he needed to gather himself, not wanting to fall apart in front of the elder for a second time.

“Really? Congratulations, I’m so happy for you! It must be so exciting.” He smiled, trying not to show how dizzy he felt from having the world fall down on him once again.

“Thank you, it really is.” Was Yeonjun’s sincere answer, followed by a heavy silence. An air of awkwardness filled their lungs, even colder than the winter air and much more suffocating.

“How about you?” Suddenly asked the elder, not being able to withstand the uncomfortable quiet any longer. “Is there a special someone in your life?”

“Not at the moment.” Beomgyu chuckled nervously, gaze fleeing from Yeonjun’s eyes as he scratched his neck. “I’ve been dating around these last few years, but never got to settle down with anyone. I just can’t seem to find the time to fully commit. You know, ‘cause I’ve been focusing so much on my career.”

‘And I still love you, so I guess that a part of me hoped that we would somehow still end up together’ he would have liked to add, but he kept the bitter thought to himself.

“I get it, it’s hard to balance love and work.” Yeonjun solemnly nodded, completely believing his excuse. Long gone were the times the elder could read him just as easily as Beomgyu reads his favourite music scores. “I simply got really lucky and found someone patient enough for me to learn how to do it.”

Beomgyu chuckled along with the raven-haired man, though no humour could be seen in his eyes.

“Speaking of which, you didn’t tell me who the lucky person is. Do I know them?” He couldn’t help but ask, curiosity overpowering his self-preservation.

“Actually you do, even though you probably don’t remember him. His name is Soobin, he used to go to our same college, I actually shared a class with him even though at the time we barely talked to each other.”

“I don’t think I remember him.” Beomgyu squinted, as if searching through his memories for a Soobin, yet not finding anything.

“Maybe you remember him as one of the baristas at that cute coffee shop on campus we always had breakfast together at. The nice one who always did a bit of small talk and used to put a bit of extra maple syrup on our pancakes.”

Beomgyu widened his eyes, the image of a dimpled smile and bright blue hair flashing in his mind.

“Oh, now I remember him! The one who was known around campus for being freakishly tall?”

“Yes, that’s him.'' Yeonjun smiled, so sweet and so fond that it made Beomgyu’s insides churn uncomfortably.

“How did it happen? Did you two get together after our- uhm, I mean, in college?” He asked, attempting to sound laid back as if the thought of Yeonjun moving on without any struggle or regret immediately after their break up wasn’t killing him.

“No, we weren’t close at the time.” Answered Yeonjun immediately with a shake of his head.

“How we got together is actually a funny story. Also a bit long, so I don’t want to bore you.” He chuckled, but Beomgyu, against his better judgement, shook his head, curiosity overpowering his sense of self-preservation.

“Go ahead, I don’t mind.”

Yeonjun looked surprised, but then smiled, eyes shimmering as he started talking.

“Well, like I said, I was having a hard time in New York, and when I got back home I was still struggling. I spent a few months at my parents’ house just lazing around, locked in my room like a moody teenager as I drowned in self-pity. It wasn’t a pretty sight.” He chuckled, but his expression turned serious as he added.

“I actually tried contacting you at the time, but I guess you changed your number.”

Beomgyu felt a pang in his chest, eyes wide as he gulped to try and speak even though his suddenly sore throat.

“I did, the year after my graduation I lost my phone on a trip, so… yeah.” The urge to slap his past self was strong, and he couldn’t help but wonder if things would have turned out differently had he not changed his number. Would he have been the one to adorn Yeonjun’s hand with a beautiful ring? Would he have been the one to circle his finger with a loving promise?

Now it was too late to know that.

“Anyways,” Yeonjun quickly shook his head, a bright smile settling once again on his face.
“After a while, my parents pushed me to try and find myself a job, so I did. I applied for many different jobs, a few in Seongnam and others here in Seoul. One day after a bad job interview here in Seoul I went to a random bar and got completely wasted.” He chuckled in embarrassment.

“You know how emotional I get when drunk, so I randomly burst into tears in the middle of the bar, to a point where a random stranger approached me to ask me if I was ok.” His expression turned incredibly soft, cheeks becoming rose-tinted as he lowered his eyes and started fiddling with his engagement ring.

“That stranger was Soobin. He recognised me almost immediately, but I was too drunk to do the same. Still, even though he was with a group of friends he stayed with me. He held me back from drinking more and asked me questions, so genuinely worried even if we were basically strangers. I rambled on and on about all of my problems for God knows how long, yet he listened to it all.”

Beomgyu listened intently, trying his best to not let his bitterness show. How he wished to have been the one to comfort the elder. But it just wasn’t fate.

“When I became too tired to function he offered to call a taxi to take me to the hotel I was staying at. Since I could barely walk he decided to come with me, basically dragging me to my hotel room. Next thing I remember is waking up with a terrible headache and a glass of water on the bedside table with an aspirin and a note signed by Soobin. ‘To help you with your hangover. I promise things will get better, just don’t give up, ok?.’ I know it by heart because I still have that note.”

Beomgyu’s expression softened, recognising, even though his inner pain, how lovely that story was.

“Long story short, he left his number at the end of the note so we spent the next weeks texting each other nonstop. Thanks to him I applied for a dance teacher job, got it and moved here. I asked him out on an actual date and… four years later we’re engaged.” Yeonjun ended with a small chuckle and a smile so bright to compete with the city’s lights.

Beomgyu opened his mouth to say something, even if he didn’t really know what, but was stopped by the elder suddenly perking up and announcing:

“Speak of the devil…”

The younger frowned in confusion before realising that Yeonjun was looking at something behind him. He didn’t have the time to turn around when he felt someone tower over him, a low yet soft voice ringing through his ears.

“Choi Yeonjun, I’ve been waiting for you for like ten minutes, what are you doing?.” A tall man with ash red hair rushed by Yeonjun’s side, scolding the man with a not so intimidating scowl.

“Sorry Binnie, I just ran into someone I hadn’t seen in quite a while.” Smiled easily Yeonjun, making the red-haired man finally turn around and face Beomgyu.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t see you.” He genuinely apologised, before smiling brightly and extending his hand towards Beomgyu.

“Hi, I’m Choi Soobin.”

His hair was a different colour, his face more mature and he somehow looked even taller, but his gentle manners and dimpled smile were exactly how Beomgyu remembered.

“I’m Choi Beomgyu.” He replied, cold hand shaking the other’s bigger and warmer one, trying his best to contain the anxiety in his voice.

Soobin’s face morphed into a surprised expression, grip still solid on the younger’s hand as he stared at him for a few seconds before completely lighting up.

“Oh, Beomgyu-ssi! I’m sorry I didn’t recognise you.” He said with a smile so radiant it startled the younger.

“Uhm- it’s fine, don’t worry about it. We talked only- like- twice during all of college. Except for when I stopped by your coffee shop. It’s not like we were friends.”

Given the friendliness of the other man, Beomgyu found himself wondering whether he remembered that Yeonjun and him used to date. They did have many dates at the coffee shop where Soobin worked as a waiter. Yet, Yeonjun and him weren’t as touchy and publicly affectionate in public as many other couples, preferring to keep their intimacy for themselves, so it was also plausible that Soobin thought they were just two close friends hanging out.

It’s safe to say that Beomgyu was starting to panic thanks to all of this overthinking.

“I know, but I honestly feel like we were from how much I know and I’ve heard about you.” Soobin giggled, the sound light and sweet.

“Huh?” Croaked out the younger, dumbfounded.

“This guy has told me all about you. I know by heart all of your crazy shenanigans from when you two were kids.” Soobin put his arm around Yeonjun’s shoulders, playfully rolling his eyes.

This did nothing to answer the question in Beomgyu’s head.

“Oh, well I hope he didn’t tell you anything too embarrassing.” He laughed awkwardly, to which Soobin smiled cheekily.

“No, just a few funny stories, like the one where a monkey at the zoo threw poop at you.”

“God, Yeonjun! Why do you still tell that story to everyone?!” Complained Beomgyu, glaring at the raven-haired boy, who simply laughed and shrugged.

“Not my fault it’s such a nice ice breaker.”

Beomgyu was ready to protest but was stopped by a ringtone echoing from Yeonjun’s coat pocket.

“I’m sorry, I gotta take this but I’ll be right back.” The raven-haired man said as he fished out his phone, not leaving without first squeezing his fiancé’s hand tenderly, Beomgyu’s eyes silently following the action.

Soobin looked at the man stepping aside to answer the call for a few seconds, pure adoration in his eyes, before turning back towards Beomgyu with his typical polite smile.

An awkward silence settled between them at being left alone which made Beomgyu more uncomfortable by the second.

“Uhm… so,” He started out, nervously shifting from one foot to the other. “Yeonjun told me you two got engaged. Excited for the wedding?”

Soobin brightened up at that, nodding eagerly. “Yeah, I was over the moon when he said yes. Still struggle to believe that it is really happening.”

Beomgyu hummed in understanding, not quite knowing what else to say. Fortunately, he didn’t have to ponder for much longer because the red-haired man spoke up once again.

“Speaking of which, would you like to come to the wedding? We still haven’t sent out the official invitations, but I figured since we’re here it would be rude not to ask.”

The younger man almost choked on air at the other’s offer. He tried to not give away his tension and anxiety, wearing what he hoped would come off as a relaxed expression.

“I’m sorry, I won’t be able to make it. I have a thing with work.” He tried his best to sound disappointed as if the thought of going to his first love’s wedding didn’t terrify him.

Soobin, however, didn’t respond right away. He simply looked at the younger, a sympathetic glint in his soft eyes.

“I haven’t even said the date yet.” He pointed out, his tone was all but offended or upset. Instead, he sported the same sweet smile, eyebrows raising in a hint of amusement.

“I- uhm…” Stuttered Beomgyu trying to get himself out of this situation.

“It’s fine, don’t worry. With the history that you two have, I understand it must be difficult, so I’m not going to insist. Just offered to be polite.” Shrugged Soobin, ready to drop the subject, but the younger had other plans.

“History?”

“Well, I imagine that it isn’t really ideal going to your ex’s wedding.”

“Wait, so you know we used to date?” Beomgyu widened his eyes in shock, earning himself a confused look from the red-haired man.

“Of course. You two used to have so many of your dates at the place I worked at, remember?”

“Yeah, I just… I guess I assumed you didn’t remember.” He chuckled nervously, suddenly feeling intimidated by the taller man.

Soobin seemed to notice this, a small frown forming on his face.

“Hey, why do you look so worried? We’re all grown adults, it’s not like I’m gonna be mean to you out of jealousy just because you’re my fiancé’s ex. He has his past and I have mine, it’s natural. I’m not gonna resent you for that, it wouldn’t make sense.”

Beomgyu let out a sigh of relief, a slight smile tugging at his lips at the other’s kindness.

He can see why Yeonjun chose him.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. I just got a bit anxious.”

“No problem.”

Silence fell over them once again, though not as uncomfortable as the previous one. Beomgyu’s gaze travelled over to where Yeonjun was standing, a few feet away from them talking on his phone, expression relaxed and shoulders shaking from time to time with a light laugh.

Beomgyu glanced at Soobin, just to catch the man staring at Yeonjun just as he had been doing.

However, the softness and pure adoration twinkling in Soobin’s eyes were something that Beomgyu didn’t think he was even capable of feeling that strongly. He had an expression full of a certain softness and satisfaction that only someone who was completely in love and reciprocated could manage.

Beomgyu couldn’t help but feel envious.

“I know that you don’t need to hear this from me,” he found himself murmuring, focus going back on his first love “but he’s really something special.”

Soobin smiled, dimples poking through his rosy cheeks, unfaltering eyes on his fiancè.
“I know.”

“I’m sure you already are, but… take care of him, will you?” Their eyes met, expressions turning serious as Soobin solemnly nodded.

“I will.”

“Hey, I’m back. Sorry about that.” Yeonjun’s loud voice took their attention away from their silent agreement, the two turning around just to see the raven-haired man walk up to them with a big grin on his face.

“No worries. Well, it was nice bumping into you two but I should go now.” Beomgyu said as casually as possible.

“Oh ok, we should go as well.” Replied Yeonjun, exchanging a glance with his fiancé before extending his hand towards the youngest of the three.
“I’m glad we got to catch up after all these years.”

“Likewise.” Beomgyu shook his hand with a smile, genuine this time.

For the second time in his life, Beomgyu gently squeezed Yeonjun’s hand in his, enjoying the warmth for as long as he could while getting ready to say goodbye.

“Congratulations again for the wedding.” He said sincerely as he retrieved his hand, blinking a few times as to hide his shiny eyes, giving the two his widest smile. “I wish you all the best.”

“You too.” Soobin murmured softly, Yeonjun nodding alongside him.
And Beomgyu turned around, walking away from his first love once again, this time permanently.

However, after a few steps, he came to a halt, not being able to stop himself from glancing back over his shoulder.

Yeonjun and Soobin were now standing face to face, eyes locked together as they exchanged words that Beomgyu wasn’t able to hear over the noise of the crowd.

Soobin giggled at something the raven-haired man said, before leaning down to plant a soft peck on his lips.

Yeonjun smiled, eyes crinkling and expression so bright to light up the whole night sky. He reached out, taking Soobin’s hand in his and intertwining their fingers before softly tugging at it to guide his lover forward as they started walking in Beomgyu’s opposite direction.

So he stood there, watching them walk away hand in hand until they disappeared from his sight.

Yet in his mind, he could still see Yeonjun’s gleeful expression, and he found himself smiling.

Yeonjun had looked so incredibly happy.

Even if he was no longer able to give that happiness to his love, he was glad that someone else could.

Those last years without Yeonjun by his side had been harder than he would have liked to admit, and when he found out about the mans’ engagement he had felt his heart crack.

Never understanding why, even after leaving each other on such a beautiful note, he was never fully able to move on from the elder, instead keeping on clinging desperately to their memories, which for so long had been all that he had left of the other.

However, after his conversation with Soobin, his heart seemed to relax, as if relieved at the knowledge that the man with whom Yeonjun was going to spend the rest of his life was such a genuine and kind person.

Now that he saw how happy Yeonjun was with the life that he had built himself, and how the elder had no need for Beomgyu in his life any longer, he finally felt like he could breathe again.

Like he could finally move on.

With a deep breath, he turned around and kept walking, feeling at peace like he hadn’t felt in a very long time.

He finally let go of his first love.

He stopped holding on.