Chapter Text
“If you must weep,
Do it right here in my bed as I sleep
If you must mourn, my love
Mourn with the moon and the stars up above
If you must mourn,
Don't do it alone”
-You, Keaton Henson (srsly my favourite song)
Erestor had been in the library doing the accounts for the wedding when the servant he had asked to bring food to Lindir came knocking. He bid him enter.
“Lord Erestor, I have brought breakfast to Lindir but he would not open the door nor would he reply my calls.” The servant looked squeamish, he had his hands clasped in front of his body, fidgeting, his voice worried.
Erestor sighed, “Go, I will deal with that elfling.” The servant bowed and left. Erestor gathered the parchments and quills into his hands and walked out of the library. He headed for Lindir’s rooms, dropping by to his rooms to deposit his work.
He knocked on the door, “Lindir, you cannot refuse to take your meals while you isolate yourself.” He waited for a reply, but there was none.
“Lindir ignoring me will do you no good.” When no reply came, he tried another way.
“I will go in there whether you want me to or not if you do not reply me.” He counted to ten before he pushed at the door, only to find it locked.
He sighed, “I will be back with the key.”
He went to find Lord Elrond, who had keys to all the rooms in Imladris. When he found the lord, he was in discussion with Lord Celeborn, Lady Galadriel and Lady Celebrían about the wedding guests.
“My lord, I am sorry to disturb, but I have need of you.” Elrond excused himself from his guests and walked a ways away to talk with Erestor.
“I need the keys to Lindir’s room.”
Elrond’s eyebrows shot up, “What has happened?”
Erestor sighed, “He has missed three of his meals, and he will not open his door for the servant to bring him food, I fear he has fainted.” Elrond bid him stay with the others while he went to fetch the keys with haste.
“What is it Erestor? Elrond looked worried.” Celebrían asked.
Erestor looked at her, he had seen Lindir and Celebrían become friends, just like Lindir said he would. But Celebrían could not possibly make Lindir’s grief any better, so he did not tell her.
“It is nothing, my lady.”
Celebrían would not have it, “I am about to be the Lady of Imladris, and if I am to be the lady of this realm then I wish to know what happens within it.” Celebrían stared down’s Erestor’s cold gaze.
Erestor sighed for the thousandth time that day, “It is Lindir, he will not open his door for the servant to bring him food.” As he said this he looked at Galadriel, he saw the guilt flash through her eyes before it was replaced with concern.
“Erestor, I have the key, let us make haste.” As Erestor turned to follow Elrond, Celebrían stood up and made to follow.
“You do not have to follow my lady,” you would probably bring more harm than good was not said but the other three occupants in the room understood.
“Nonsense, Lindir is my friend, I will see what has him in such malady.” Celebrían said it and it was final. Erestor did not have the energy to argue thus they left to Lindir’s rooms.
When the door was unlocked, Erestor pushed aside Elrond to get to his friend, this was happening because of Elrond, he would be a terrible friend if he let Elrond be the first to see to Lindir. He pulled down the blanket covering Lindir’s head and smoothed back the hair over his face.
“Wake, Lindir.” Lindir did not so much as stir, his body continued to breath in and out in even breaths. Elrond went to stand on the other side of the bed and placed his palm to Lindir’s forehead, the healer’s eyebrows creased.
“His body is sound, but I feel something is amiss.” He looked worriedly at Erestor.
“What is it?” Erestor was getting impatient, was Elrond a healer or not for Valar’s sake!
Elrond shook his head, “I do not know.”
Erestor glared at Elrond, then he felt a presence at his side, Lady Galadriel. He moved out of the way for her to see to Lindir. She placed both her palms on Lindir’s cheeks and brought her forehead to his, then her eyes widened in shock, she carefully laid him back down then shook her head at Erestor, “His Fëa has left, his body awaits the judgement of Namo.”
“If you must leave,
Leave as though fire burns under your feet
If you must speak,
Speak every word as though it were unique
If you must die, sweetheart
Die knowing your life was my life's best part”
-You, Keaton Henson
The first thing Lindir noticed when he opened his eyes were that he was not on his bed. He stood up and looked around.
He was in a hall, with high ceilings and wide arches, there were what looked like tapestries on the walls to his left and right, it was very dark here. Then he saw some other elves, milling about the place, some were looking lost like him, some others walked around with purpose.
He jumped when he felt a presence beside him that wasn’t there before, it was a person in a rich navy blue velvet cloak, her hood was partially up, revealing beautiful blonde hair and shocking blue eyes and a face which none could rival.
“Come, my husband will see you now.” The lady told him, he followed her, entranced. She had an aura about her, it felt to him like she was important, he could feel the power she had, she was a magnificent being.
She brought him through some arches and into a room which was darker and colder than the outside. There was a throne in the middle, and a dark figure sat upon it.
“Lindir of Imladris, welcome to the Hall of Mandos.” A loud voice rang around him, there was no cheer and no pleasantries, it made Lindir shudder.
“I am Námo, also known as Mandos.” Lindir did not know what to do but fall into a deep bow in his imposing presence.
“I am sure you know why you are here.” This Lindir knew, he had been hoping for it after all.
He had faded, he could finally find relief from his heartbreak in Valinor, a land blessed with healing and happiness.
“That which you wish to happen, will not happen. It is not yet your time to sail to Valinor, you have other destinies in Middle Earth.”
Lindir frowned, why would he want to go back to Imladris when all that waited for him there was heartache and sorrow?
“Do not despair, Lindir. The cloth for your tapestry is still long, there is much for you in the lands. Elrond was but a part of it, I can assure you there is someone waiting for you back in Middle Earth.” Lindir looked at the lady as she spoke, Lindir knew of her, this was Lady Vairë, the Weaver.
“I hurt whenever I think of my lost love, my lady, I cannot bear to go back.” He shook his head in disagreement.
“Then you will stay. You will be in the hands of Estë, she will aid you in healing and when you are ready, you will go back to Middle Earth.” The female Valar reassured him.
He was lead out of the Halls and into a gardens of sort. Everything had an ethereal look to it, a certain haze about it but it was also clear, bright but yet soothing, he couldn’t explain it.
“Welcome, Lindir of Imladris, I am Estë, Lady of healing and rest.” Lindir bowed to the Valar, what was the usual code of conduct in front of a Valar?
“Your soul is hurt and your heart broken, but your time in Valinor will be but a sojourn. I will aid you in healing, while you heal your body will be kept safe in Imladris, and when it is time, you shall return and continue on your journey.” Lindir nodded, he supposed if anyone could heal his broken heart, it would be the Valar, and so he rested.
And slowly but surely, he had healed.
As his stay went on, his songs had turned from sorrow to that of healing, which the others staying at Estë’s gardens could appreciate. And he had helped, his songs had brought joy to others, mending their bodies as well as their souls.
In fact, he was so much help that when the time came for him to return, Estë had secretly ignored it and allowed him to stay longer. Only until his return could not be delayed any further, with the blessings of the Valar and a new destination in mind, he returned.