Work Text:
Lan Wangji knew that he would never be married.
Except in the slight chance of an arranged marriage, his future was undoubtedly made for one. He would never share a bed. He would never slide the silk red of wedding robes over his skin. His forehead ribbon would remain exactly where it always rested- in perfect place with his perfect restraint.
Lan wangji would never get married. He knew, because Lan Wangji would never fall in love.
It was less of an oath than a deep understanding about his reality. That knowledge sat evenly in his mind, spread wide and white like the snow outside his mother’s door, the day he realized it. The cold from that day that never left him, the muted tones of gray and white and blue tracing over his life- these rested in the same places as that surety.
Lan Wangji would never love. Because love was a greedy, greedy thing. It caused one to trap, to confine, to suffocate and take until there was nothing good about it left. Until everyone within the impact radius was torn and marred and walked with pain climbing their joints if they were ever so lucky as to be able to move afterwards in the first place.
Love was greedy, and love was selfish, and frankly too much effort that he wouldn’t even know how to try. Lan Wangji was better than such things. “To stand apart from the world.” He wouldn’t fall like this.
Or.
He really shouldn’t have.
After the fifth paper that Wei Wuxian aims at his head, Lan Wangji is about ready to stand up and redeclare his intentions of being a permanent bachelor, because nothing could be more infuriating than this.
As he swiveled around to aim a cutting glare at the other boy, his heart was immediately assaulted by a brilliant grin and a lilting laugh. “Ahahahaha, so angry, Lan Zhan! At least you’ve finally looked at me,” he pretended to pout, even as mischief shone in his dark eyes. Lan Zhan felt wood shift beneath his grip on his desk. Wei Wuxian continued as if he wasn’t the most frustrating thing that had ever happened to Lan Wangji in all his 16 years of living.
“You know, for someone who’s supposed to be overseeing my discipline, you sure don’t actually look at me much, hm Lan Zhan? Why, am I so terrible to look at?”
He was not. That was very much the problem.
Before Lan Wangji could do something impulsive- like tell him that- Wei Ying was already rambling on, the brush between his fingers motioning quicker in the air as he got more worked up. “Ah of course not! But compared to you, no one could be seen as even half decent, so that’s really an unfair assessment. Don’t you Lans have precepts against that? I’m sure you must’ve thought that far ahead but well, you never know-“
“Do not be partial.” Lan Wangji’s words jumped past clenched teeth, euphoric at escaping, being able to talk to Wei Ying. Lan Wangji didn’t have time to curse his own weakness before Wei Wuxian clapped his hands, scooching towards Lan Wangji.
“A glance AND a response! Tell me, Lan-er gege, what did I win? I didn’t forget my birthday, did I?”
The wood splintered.
Lan Wangji’s thoughts blurred, even over the sound of Wei Wuxian continuing to chatter, “-a little past midautumn so it would be too cold here for me to ever come but why would I leave home anyways when it’s my birthday? Lan Zhan, you should be a good friend and really just make sure that you come to Yunmeng. Even if it’s not for my birthday! Any time is a good time, really, there’s so much good food, and the lotus ponds are really stunning. A poet like you’d probably melt at how the sun sets over the water- we could go out on a boat in the evening and I’d row to the best spot but then to repay me you’d have to write me a poem about it ok? Hahahahaha can you imagine-“
Ridiculous
Infuriating
Lan Wangji really
Really
Really
Liked him.
It was all incredibly upsetting.