Chapter Text
Harry sat with his knees tucked to his chest. The only sound in the room was the steady ticking of the clock on the wall. It had been all of five hours since Draco had brought Harry to this muggle hotel. Why? Harry didn’t know. Though he had his suspicions.
They were obviously running from aurors. That would be the only reason Draco would force Harry to change his appearance, and rent a muggle hotel. It was obvious. Draco wasn’t going to let Harry go any time soon. Not that Harry ever really thought that he would. It was just...tense, now. Harry knew that Draco had snapped.
If Lucius was dead or just defeated, Harry had no idea. Draco surely wouldn"t have killed the man...right?
Draco had Harry alone shortly after arriving. Not before making a display of putting up wards. Both to keep people out and trap Harry in. Harry couldn’t open the window, the door or use the phone. He was trapped.
Again.
There was a heavy knot in Harrys gut. An anxiety that built the longer Draco was gone. Harry had thought that he would be relieved that Draco wasn’t here, but in reality he was terrified. Where was Draco? Why did he leave him here? When was he coming back?
The conclusions that Harry was jumping to were not helping to calm the man in anyway. Because every situation he imagined was worse than the last, and typically depicted Draco forcing himself onto Harry in some way. Finally snapping and using him, the way Harry knew he wanted to.
After all, if he was willing to go this far, what was to stop him from going farther?
Harry felt a strange sense of grief that he hadnt felt in a long time. A grief for his life. The one he could have had if Lucius had never taken him. Maybe he would be an auror by now. Or perhaps a teacher? It both hurt and comforted Harry to think of him and Hermione working alongside each other to help the next generation of wizards come into their own.
His mind wandered back to Dumbledore"s Army. He had felt such an ease with teaching. It filled a hole he had inside of him. To help others, to be the one supporting others, instead of needing to be saved himself. To be the kind of person that he had needed growing up with the Dursleys.
Harry thought about if Lucius had taken someone other than him. If it had been Ron or Hermione that had been taken, Harry would have stopped at nothing to find them.
A dark thought crossed his mind, then. . .
What if no one was looking?
What if, after all these years and everything that he had gone through, that his friends, the closest people to family he had, gave up? Surely they would have found him by now if they had been looking, right? If they still cared?
Harry didnt have time to ponder the black thoughts in his mind. Draco pushed the door open to the motel room, closing it and locking the deadbolt without a word.
Harry swallowed and stayed where he was, keeping his gaze down on the floor. Draco stopped at the mirror, pulling his wand from his boot as he did. his face was transfigured to look different He almost seemed like he was trying to mimic the look of one of Rons brothers, but Harry refused to look too hard at him, in case he caught his eye.
The smell of alcohol was clear, wafting off of Draco as the man waved his wand, detransfiguring himself. Harrys heartbeat was throbbing in his ears as Draco started towards him, his eyes locked onto Harry.
He took in a sharp breath as Draco grabbed the back of the chair he sat in, leaning down so they were face to face with each other. Harry swallowed again, doing anything he could not to meet Dracos gaze.
"Did you miss me?" Dracos words were quiet, and dripping with sarcasm. His eyes had this constant bitter look about them. Almost anger, but at the same time, defeat. It chilled Harry to the bone.
"Did you?!" Dracos voice got louder as Harry failed to answer him, shaking the back of his chair. Harry could feel tears building up behind his eyes. It took everything not to start crying. Crying would just piss him off more.
"Yes, sir. Sorry, sir." Harry choked out, keeping his head bowed. That answer only seemed to agitate Draco. He clenched his jaw and grabbed Harry by the shirt front, pulling Harry up so he was standing.
Harry followed him without resistance, his heartbeat throbbing in his ears.
"Liar." Draco hissed out. He glanced at the bed, his grey eyes flicking back to Harry. "Lay down."
"...Please don"t." Harry felt his heart drop into his gut, finally lifting his gaze to look Draco in the eye. Draco"s expression didn"t change. He glared at him expectantly.
"I told you to lay down. Now do it." Draco spat out, moving out of the way.
Harry took a breath in, forcing himself to walk towards the bed. The alarms in his head were screaming out at him not to do this, that he was going to get hurt. But Harry knew better than to ignore his request. He blinked tears away, laying down on his stomach on the bed, pulling one of the pillows to his chest to hug onto.
"Just breathe through it". Harry told himself, "It cant be worse than Lucius. Just breathe and let him do what he needs to do."
At first, the room was silent. Harry held his breath, keeping as still as he could, waiting. For a brief second he thought that maybe Draco wasn"t going to do anything after all.
Finally, he felt hands on him. Draco was behind him, grabbing at his waist band and unbuttoning his pants.
It was happening.
Harry couldnt help but let out a soft sob into his pillow. The tears he had been withholding finally flooding from his eyes like a burst dam. This was it. After all the niceties that Draco used, and all the false promises, Draco was finally going to give into his desires and use him like he wanted.
Dracos hands paused at Harrys hips, and it was silent for a moment. Harry pushed his face into the pillow, willing his body to stop trembling. He felt so stupid, reacting this way. After all he had been through so much worse with Lucius. Harry let out another soft sob into his pillow, muffling it as best he could. He didnt want to annoy Draco.
"Are you...crying?" Draco asked, his voice soft now, the anger from before now gone. Harry sniffled, swallowing harshly before he moved, stealing a glance over his shoulder. Draco was sitting on his knees on the bed, looking at Harry with an expression of utter defeat.
"No, s-sir. Sorry,sir. Please continue." the words left Harrys mouth before he could stop them. Almost like an automated response. Draco stared at Harry, his mouth slightly open and his eyes sad.
"You really are broken..." Draco whispered, his hands falling to his lap, "Aren"t you?" His voice was quiet. He wouldn"t look at Harry then, his gaze now on his own hands in his lap. Harry swallowed again, too afraid to move, or speak. Utter confusion was coursing through his veins. This had to be a trick of some kind. Or a test? Harry wasnt sure what was going on, but he wasnt about to speak or move and piss Draco off.
Harrys heart did a backflip as Draco suddenly moved, crawling over him and laying down on the bed beside Harry. Draco had tears in his eyes, which only confused Harry further. Looking at him, Harry felt the overwhelming urge to apologize. It had to be his fault in some way that Draco was upset. But he couldn"t understand what he had done.
"...I"m sorry sir-" Harry started but was cut off.
"I thought-" Draco said, his eyebrows furrowed together as he looking down at nothing. "I thought if I pushed you- just a little...Acted like I was going to... That youd-" He shook his head, rolling onto his back. "But you just cried. You never used to cry. You always fought back..."
This, of course, did nothing to ebb Harrys confusion. He didnt reply, just stared at Draco, his body tensed, waiting to be struck.
"I wasnt actually going to.... I thought it would give you the courage to fight me. To-to show me youre still in there. I thought you would push me off and take my wand...kill me." Draco said, the last part almost a whisper.
Harry was silent, shock waving through him like a tsunami. It almost made him feel ill. Draco wanted him to kill him? Draco was going to act as if he were going to rape him, to get Harry to...kill him? That didnt make any sense.
Harry finally moved, sitting up slowly so that he was facing the wall, and Draco. Draco was laying on his side, laying facing where Harry was, between the wall and Harry. Beside Harry, on the nightstand was Dracos wand. It was just sitting there, out in the open.
Something inside Harry was screaming at him, and he leapt into action before really thinking about it, or any consequences it might bring. Harry grabbed the wand and jumped to his feet, whirling around on Draco, aiming it right at his chest.
Draco blinked slowly, not moving a muscle as Harry grabbed his wand. His grey eyes flicking from Harry to the wand.
"Do it." He said quietly, rolling over so his chest was exposed. He moved his arms out on either side of him. He didnt attack Harry, or beg, or run. He just laid there, a look of defeat on his face.
Harrys heart was throbbing in his ears once more and the room was almost spinning. So many thoughts were going through his mind at once. His brain screamed at Harry to run! Strike Draco down and run while he had the chance. But another part of him was sure this was a trap or a test in some way.
"I-" Harry hesitated, taking a step back. His hand was still firmly on the wand. Draco still did not move. He merely watched Harry. It disturbed Harry, the expression Draco had. It wasnt fear or regret. It was just....sadness. And acceptance. As if he were ready for Harry to end his life. He wasnt even going to fight for it.
Harry clenched his jaw "what...what the FUCK Draco?" He asked, taking a few more steps away from the bed, towards the door. Dracos wand was still grasped in his hand.
"What kind of fucking game is this? Is the wand rigged or-or is this a test? What is going on?!" Harry asked him, his voice almost desperate. He felt as if he were going mad. Confusion and fear all swirling together to make a nauseating combination in his mind.
"Theres no game. Im letting you go. Im letting you get your revenge." Draco replied, frowning at Harry. He sat up slowly. "Why arent you...you hate me. Kill me." Draco spoke, his expression hardening.
Harry let out a noise of exasperation, shaking the wand as he shouted. "You wouldnt let me go this easily Draco, this is a trick!" Harry wasn"t stupid. He knew what this was. If he tried to harm Draco, or leave, it would come back at him double. Draco just wanted a reason to punish Harry that he wouldnt have to feel guilty about later.
He just wasnt sure what the trick was going to be.
"It isnt." Draco snapped back, glaring at Harry. "Youre ruining this moment. Just kill me and leave!"
"Why do you want me kill you so badly!?" Harry demanded, shaking the wand at him.
"Because Im too scared to do it myself!" Draco shouted back. There was a deafening silence in the room. Harry and Draco had their expressions locked onto each other.
"I can"t...do it myself." Draco admitted after some pause, his eyes misting over. "But I dont want to be alive any more...I"m tired, Harry. I"m so tired."
For the first time, as Harry looked Draco in the eye, he saw him for what he truly was.
A broken, scared little boy.
It was as if the pieces were all starting to piece together. Lucius was a monster to Harry. He had never considered what it would have been like to grow up with the man. To live under him for a lifetime.
But Harry wasn"t a murderer.
"Goodbye Draco." Harry muttered, turning from the bed. He waved Dracos wand, feeling magic surging through him like a long dry spout. He broke the wards with almost no effort. Like slicing through butter. Draco had seemingly put no strength behind them. Harry grabbed the handle, flinging open the hotel door.
There was a moment of hesitation, a lingering doubt if this was a trap or not that persisted in Harrys mind. But he stamped it down, crossing the threshold and stepping into his freedom.
That was it.
Harry Potter was free.