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i’d marry you with paper rings

Summary:

“marry me,” sana says matter-of-factly, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “when we’re older and we know each other and love each other better. okay?”

dahyun blinks at her outstretched pinkie, before nodding solemnly and linking it with hers. “okay. okay, i’ll marry you.”

 

(five times dahyun refuses sana’s proposals, and one time she doesn’t.
twenty-one years full of her.)

Notes:

saida fr eating up my life

anywayyyy enjoy this lovelies <3333 just a lil (okay, lie, medium-sized) oneshot for yall

and it’s fluffy!! fluffier than saturn. that was a depressing episode

‼️‼️ FIC PLAYLIST: i’d marry you with paper rings.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

" i like shiny things

but i’d marry you with paper rings

uh huh, that’s right

darling, you’re the one i want. "

 

— paper rings, taylor swift

 

 

six years old.

 

“marry me!” the girl at the playground says when dahyun is six years old. she is hanging upside down from the monkey bars.

dahyun only blinks a few times, mouth full of pancake. she had only been walking by, and doesn’t really know what to say to this, especially when the other girl only tilts her head questioningly at her.

“i don’t know you yet,” dahyun finally answers, once she’s finished her pancake. the other girl looks expectantly at her. “we can’t get married because we don’t know each other and we don’t love each other yet.”

the other girl scrunches her nose up before untangling her legs from the monkey bar and hopping down. she’s taller than dahyun when she stands up, she realises.

“that’s ok!” the girl beams, smiling widely. she smiles a bit like a hamster, dahyun notes, with the plump cheeks and honey-coloured eyes. “my name is sana. and i’ll be your friend so we can get married.”

dahyun quite thinks that marriage is something kids their age shouldn’t be considering, but she shrugs it off anyway. “i’m dahyun.”

“that’s a pretty name,” sana hums nonchalantly, like she didn’t just propose marriage a few minutes earlier.

dahyun smiles at that— she’s always liked compliments, they make her feel warm. and even if sana is a little tiny bit weird, she’s very pretty and seems nice, so the praise is good anyway.

sana looks at her curiously. “how old are you?”

“i’m six.”

“oh! i’m seven and a half. i’m a little bit older than you.” sana giggles, short and high. “that’s okay, i suppose.”

“don’t people usually get married when they’re older?” dahyun muses. 

“if we get married before that, then we will be able to be married for longer.”

“why do you want to marry me?” dahyun asks, as sana begins to follow her when dahyun walks to the water fountain. it’s a genuine question, because dahyun is generally curious as to why she’s been proposed to. it’s not something very normal to happen, she thinks.

sana only hums, links their arms together and skips towards the water fountain. “you’re very cute. also, you seem really nice.” she gives dahyun a toothy smile as dahyun bends to drink from the fountain. “my okaasan and otosan said that i have to find someone nice to marry.”

“oh,” dahyun says. isn’t sure how to continue the conversation.

apparently that’s not a problem for sana, anyway; the other girl tugs at her hand. “come on, then. if we play for the rest of the day together, then we’ll know each other more and we can get married sooner.”

 

dahyun does, indeed, end up playing with sana for the rest of the day. not that she’s complaining, of course.

sana turns out to be good company— she smiles a lot, makes dahyun smile a lot, laugh too. she makes a lot of funny jokes and plays fair. 

she lets dahyun go first on everything, like the slide. jokes about ‘ladies first’. she takes her job as a courteous future wife very seriously.

“you’re very kind,” dahyun notes, when sana gestures to the swings.

“i have to be nice and kind, too, because then i’ll be good to marry.” the girl responds. pushes the swing lightly once dahyun is on. “i want to make sure i’m always nice and kind to the person i marry because they’ll like me better and keep me around.”

“oh,” dahyun says. turns slightly to look at the older girl. “well. i think you’re nice. i think you’re very nice.”

dahyun is sure there’s a wide smile on sana’s face when she pushes the swings this time. “thank you, dahyun.”

 

when her mom, joohyun, finally yells for dahyun to get back here so we can go home, dahyun turns to sana. braces herself for whatever the girl will say to her next. 

“i was right,” sana says triumphantly. grins with all the energy of a thousand suns. 

dahyun is confused. zips up her green jumper, because it’s cold outside. “right about what?”

“you are really nice. which means you’ll be the perfect person to marry.”

dahyun didn’t think about it that way. dahyun quite likes being nice. especially if it means she’ll be better to marry. 

but instead of pondering it over any longer, she smiles at the other girl.

“thank you for playing with me today,” dahyun says genuinely. 

“that’s okay.” sana says. then scrunches her nose up and holds out her pinkie finger. “dahyunnie. you have to promise me.”

“promise you what?”

“marry me,” sana says matter-of-factly, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “when we’re older and we know each other and love each other better. okay?”

dahyun blinks at her outstretched pinkie, before nodding solemnly and linking it with hers. “okay. okay, i’ll marry you.”

sana smiles so widely that dahyun thinks she’s actually the sun, and not a real human being. 

“i have this,” the older girl says, pulling out a small ring from her pocket. it’s metal, and has a stingray engraved on it. then she reaches out and takes dahyun’s hand to slip it on her finger. “you have to keep it safe until we get married, okay?” 

“okay,” dahyun says. looks down at the ring and back up towards the girl. “i’ll see you again, won’t i?”

sana smiles at her. “of course. for the wedding, dahyunnie.”

dahyun gently lets go of her hand and walks towards her mom, leaving sana behind.

 

“mommy,” dahyun says, “a girl asked me to marry her earlier.”

“oh?” her mom says, busy cooking. joohyun can still hear very well while she’s cooking, dahyun knows, so she continues to talk.

“mhm. her name is sana, and she’s very pretty and good at monkey bars. and she gave me a stingray ring.”

“i see,” her mother says. turns towards dahyun after cutting up some vegetables. “did you say yes?”

“i said that we can get married later,” dahyun explains, taking her drawing and colouring book out of her bag. “i said that we don’t know each other and don’t love each other yet, so we can only get married after that.”

“oh, okay,” her mom says, walking over to dahyun and kissing her head. “so you’ll find each other one day and get married?”

dahyun liked to think that she will. dahyun likes to keep her promises, so she’ll keep this one extra safe and make sure she finds sana again. maybe when they’re older, they’ll love each other, like how the people in the movies love each other. dahyun likes the idea of being in love. maybe it will feel nice and warm, like how mommy and eomma love each other.

dahyun hums and nods in confirmation. “i like her. she’s nice and pretty. so i’ll marry her later when we’re older and love each other. like people in movies. like you and eomma.”

dahyun’s mom smiles. “that’s very smart of you, hyunnie.”

“thank you, mommy,” dahyun beams. thinks about her future wedding with a pretty girl in the playground who smiles like a hamster. 

 

~

 

ten years old.

 

“marry me, dahyun!”

this time, dahyun is sitting in the school playground, on the swings, moving it gently back and forth. her hand instantly moves to the ring hanging around her neck; she’d outgrown it a while back and eomma had been happy to give her a necklace to put it on.

unprepared, dahyun nearly falls off, until she sees the person sitting beside her, on the opposite swing.

sana is still as pretty as she was before, still as smiley and happy as she was four years ago. pink cardigan and light green skirt. her hair is a bit longer, and in a ponytail this time; messy but beautiful still. and her eyes are just as bright as they were all those years ago.

“dahyunnie!” sana exclaims, grinning brightly, leaning over. “look at this, dahyunnie, we’re older now. which means we can get married.”

dahyun hasn’t seen sana for four years, but still thought about her nearly every day since then. how strange it is, dahyun thinks, that someone you’ve only known for a few hours makes such an imprint that lasts for so long.

“no, not yet,” dahyun says, giggling a little bit at sana’s frown. “we still don’t know each other well enough.”

sana pouts. “well, can we know each other then? if we’re friends for long enough?”

“okay.”

they sit in comfortable quiet for a moment, the only sound being the creaking of the swings, until sana pipes up again. 

“what’s your favourite colour?” off of dahyun’s confused look, sana blows a raspberry. “so that we know each other, dummy. then i can get you flowers with the same colour and you’ll fall in love with me.”

dahyun blushes a little bit at that, but still responds. “i like white. and red.”

“oh, that’s nice!” sana beams, “then i’ll get you white and red roses. lots of them.” spreads her arms dramatically. “all the roses in the world.”

it’s a sweet promise that dahyun quite likes the sound of. she likes flowers, and love, and this girl who has promised both.

sana is still looking at her— waiting, for an answer probably. dahyun isn’t sure what to say. 

but, as usual, it’s not a problem for her— sana stands up to hold her hand out towards dahyun. “come on, then.”

to distract herself from sana, dahyun reaches onto her collar to fish out the necklace, which she shows proudly to her. “i still have your ring. it doesn't fit anymore, though.”

sana looks positively delighted that dahyun has kept it all this time. “that’s okay! we can get you a new one when we do get married. i’ll get you a really pretty ring that will never get too small.”

“really?” dahyun asks. she assumes that sana will have forgotten all about their promise by then; maybe she’d even marry some other person and never remember. but it is quite nice to hope. 

“of course!” sana beams, leaning over to hold dahyun’s hand. sana’s hand is warm and soft and bigger than hers, but dahyun thinks she quite likes holding sana’s hand. “i don’t break my promises.”

 

it turns out that sana is moving to dahyun’s school permanently now. apparently it’s because she wants to know dahyun better so they can get married quickly. dahyun still thinks that marriage is a far stretch, considering they’re only…what, ten and twelve respectively. but sana is nice, and kind, and smiles really warmly, so maybe it’s not a bad idea.

she gets along well with all of dahyun’s friends, and she even told them that sana will marry dahyun one day.

“really?” chaeyoung says, eyes shining. she’s always been a romantic. “can i come to the wedding?”

“of course,” sana assures her, “everyone can come. it’ll be very fun.”

tzuyu tilts her head. “do you love each other?”

dahyun glances over to sana, who’s watching her with a gentle smile. 

“i will love her a lot when we’re older,” sana declares, hugging dahyun from the side. “i will love her as much as i can.”

dahyun smiles lightly at this. it’s quite nice, knowing someone will love her when she’s older. and sana hugs very warmly, which is an added bonus.

 

“mom,” dahyun says, “the girl is back.”

it’s been four years, dahyun knows, but she’d expect her mom to at least remember. “which girl?”

“the one who asked me to marry her.”

“someone asked you to marry them?” seulgi, her eomma, asks confusedly, from where she sits at the dining table. “who?”

“her name is sana,” dahyun explains. “she’s very pretty and asked me to marry her four years ago.”

“when you were six?” eomma asks in surprise. “isn’t that a bit young?”

“yes, but she insisted,” dahyun says. “she’s very stubborn like that.”

eomma looks inquiringly at mom, but she only shrugs. 

 

(later that night, when dahyun is about to go to bed, she hears her moms talking.

“did a girl actually propose to dahyun, joohyun?”

“oh, yeah. that was a while ago. it’s pretty cute, actually. dahyun said something about waiting until they loved each other in the future.”

“god. i can’t believe our daughter is already getting married. how long did it take you to propose, huh?”

“yah! seulgi!”)

 

sana fits in well at her school. a lot of people want to be her friend, want her to notice them. a lot of the boys have already asked her out.

but sana always comes back to her. sana always comes back to dahyun. she refuses the boys with a wide smile and skips over to where dahyun sits, smiles, kisses her cheek and chats animatedly to her for the rest of the day. it baffles her, honestly, because shouldn’t she be talking to other people? everyone else wants to be with sana but sana is with dahyun.

“why don’t you hang out with other people?” dahyun asks one day. sana has given her half her sandwich, because dahyun is still hungry and sana insisted. 

sana only looks at her. pops the rest of her sandwich in her mouth. “because i like you, dahyunnie.” her smile is as bright as the sun that’s filtered through the leaves of the trees above. dahyun thinks she wouldn’t mind seeing that smile more often. “and i don’t wanna marry anyone else.”

“oh,” dahyun says, like she usually does whenever sana says things like this. she isn’t sure about marrying sana— they are far too young, after all— but she is sure that she wants sana in her life. sana is nice, and warm, like the beginnings of light after a harsh winter. and she makes dahyun smile all the time, too. that must be good.

 

“sana,” dahyun hums one day, while they’re lying in the shade of the tree. sana takes the step of getting to know dahyun very seriously, and they hang out every afternoon after school.

they’ve just gotten ice cream— dahyun getting her favourite chocolate scoop. 

(sana was very happy about learning dahyun’s favourite ice cream flavour. 

“one more thing i know about you!” she’d exclaimed excitedly, slinging an arm around dahyun’s shoulders.)

“yes, dahyunnie?”

“would you really love me?” her question is carried on the gentle wind. “when we’re older?”

sana smiles softly, nods. “of course. i’d love you lots. i’d love you like all the people in movies do.” sana is smiling wider now, but not looking at her. “i’d make you smile every day of my life. until i die.”

the words are like a light reassurance. something for dahyun to hold onto. it’s…surprisingly nice.

a promise to be fulfilled.

 

~

 

thirteen years old.

 

“marry me, dubu…”

dahyun frowns, turns to her side. sana is there, blinking sleepily down at her. slight smile on her face.

she’s gorgeous, of course, as minatozaki sana always is— her newly-dyed blonde hair strewn messily across her face, honey eyes blinking innocently at her. a sight dahyun is rather fond of, no matter what she says. 

“pretty please, dahyunnie?”

dahyun only rolls her eyes half-heartedly. “not yet, sana.”

“why not?”

“because.”

“because whaaat?”

“sana.”

sana whines quietly, before reaching for her body underneath the blanket. dahyun tries not to squeak at how sana’s arm instantly travels around her waist and presses her front to dahyun’s back. tries not to shiver as sana’s hand creeps under her shirt, brushing against the skin there.

“do you not care about me, dahyunnie?” sana says, voice heavy with drowsiness. outside, the moonlight is barely enough to slip through dahyun’s curtains, but they still manage to reflect in sana’s honey eyes. “i care about you, you know. that’s a third of the way already.”

dahyun pouts at her. then tries not to feel victorious when sana basically melts behind her. “i care about you too, sana, i really do.”

“yay…” sana hums happily, kissing dahyun’s shoulder. it’s so strange how normal it is. it’s normal, right?

right?

“what are you thinking about?” sana’s voice is dangerously close to her neck, near her ear.

dahyun turns over in the bed, lets sana’s arms adjust around her. “just…” she pauses. “why do you still want to marry me?”

“i told you before, silly,” sana giggles, “because you’re nice. and really cute.” she seems to gain a lot of amusement from seeing dahyun blush, because it happens too much to be a coincidence. then she gestures vaguely to the necklace around dahyun’s neck. “and you still kept my stingray ring.”

“of course i did,” dahyun replies hotly, protectively putting her hand around the ring, before sana giggles and reaches up to hold it. and they lay in a comfortable silence for a long moment, before sana interrupts it.

“would you still want to marry me? if we could?”

what’s dahyun supposed to say now? her best friend is lying in her bed, because apparently the other bed in dahyun’s room is ‘too cold’, and dahyun is a nice cuddle buddy. her best friend whose first words to her were literally a marriage proposal. her best friend who makes her feel weird inside.

dahyun is only 13. she doesn’t know enough about any of this, really, any of life.

she’s certain about one thing, though, and it’s that she’s completely uncertain about anything to do with sana.

yah ,” sana whines, tapping her temple with her index finger, “you’re getting lost up there again, dubu. you still haven’t answered my question.”

“sorry,” dahyun says. only just notices that sana is still staring at her, expecting her to answer. “i’d still marry you. if you wanted.”

the smile on sana’s face is almost enough for her to die happy. “really? aw, that’s so sweet!!”

dahyun closes her eyes to prevent further damage as sana hugs her tightly. lets herself fall asleep in sana’s arms. at the end of the day, she’s only 13, and doesn’t understand jackshit.

if sana’s smile makes her happy, then so be it.

 

“yo!”

“yo!”

“yo!!”

“yo!!!”

“please, please, shut up.”

dahyun pokes her tongue out at tzuyu. “no fun.”

chaeyoung stifles a laugh as tzuyu straight up pouts at her, causing dahyun to run and hide behind chaeyoung’s back.

it’s a cool evening, wind blowing softly against the trees above. the park is quiet, since most are enjoying the warmth of their own homes, but the sounds of nature are more than enough.

today, dahyun is hanging out with her fellow members of the school meal club. the other two thirds of the three caballeros. chaeyoung and tzuyu have barely changed from the three years they’ve all known each other, and dahyun is still terribly fond of them.

“where’s your little girlfriend, huh, dahyun?” chaeyoung asks teasingly, taking a strawberry from the little picnic basket eomma packed earlier. eomma and mom are fond of dahyun’s friends, so there’s always their favourite foods in the basket too. “i thought you were inseparable or whatever.”

remember dahyun said that sana was her best friend? yeah. it’s because these two are more siblings to her; the fattest pains in the ass that dahyun could have.

she glares at them, even at tzuyu, who has a bread roll stuffed in her mouth. “yah. she’s not my girlfriend.”

“oh, sorry,” chaeyoung grins, and dahyun is sure whatever she says next will make dahyun want to murder her. “i meant wife .”

called it.

“son chaeyoung i swear i will make your life a living hell—”

“okay, calm down,” tzuyu, ever the peacemaker, says as dahyun is about to rip chaeyoung’s vocal chords out of her throat. “dahyun, it’s amazing that you’re spending time with us instead of her. but .”

“but what?”

“you like her.”

now it’s dahyun’s turn to blink. “what?”

“you totally like her,” chaeyoung teases yet again. pops another strawberry in her mouth with a smug look that dahyun would like to smack off. “it’s really cute, though. i think she likes you too.”

“no, nope, nada,” dahyun shakes her head, “we’re best friends.”

“that agreed to marry each other when you were six.”

“that doesn’t count.”

“it sort of does,” tzuyu interjects.

well, shit. “we do all friend things.”

“she’s kissed you basically everywhere but your mouth. chaeyoung, please don’t make that dirty.”

“a bit late for that.”

“yeah, b—”

tzuyu looks at her doubtfully. “you still have the ring she proposed with seven years ago.”

dahyun scoffs, reaching for her necklace with the old, weathered stingray ring, before realising that they’re completely right. chaeyoung watches her with a shit-eating expression on her face that dahyun would like to punch.

“yeah, but we go for friend dates,” dahyun argues, trying to save what little dignity she has left. these revelations are sort of getting to her. her? liking sana? no way.

chaeyoung arches a dubious eyebrow at her. “girl, if they’re not the most romantic dates in the world, i’ll eat all of tzuyu’s bread.”

the taller girl, mouth still full of bread, whips her head in chaeyoung’s direction. “you wouldn’t dare .”

“all i’m saying,” chaeyoung says, scooting away from tzuyu and her killer bread eyes, “is that we just want you to get some .”

“get some,” tzuyu echoes.

“we’ll even help you get together,” chaeyoung says hopefully, to which dahyun shakes her head vigorously. “at least admit it, pretty please, unnie?”

dahyun’s lip quivers, before she sighs. “fine. maybe i like her a little bit.”

tzuyu hums. “there we go. a confession is always a good sign.”

“atta girl,” chaeyoung claps dahyun painfully on the back. “now, please tell your mom that her strawberries are amazing. how does she grow them?”

 

“hyun-ah,” joohyun calls, a bit before dahyun leaves for school.

dahyun turns and tilts her head curiously. “yeah, mom?”

“is sana coming over tonight?” there’s a slight teasing lilt in her voice that dahyun barely catches. seulgi pads into the room with half a muesli bar in her mouth.

dahyun pauses. “yeah, i think so. why? do you want me to cancel?”

“no, no, we love having sana over, it’s just…” joohyun glances sideways at seulgi. “do you, uh— how do i word this—”

“—like sana?” seulgi finishes. her voice is muffled due to the muesli bar, but dahyun hears it all the same.

the house is dead silent for a good ten seconds. 

“um,” dahyun says. sweats slightly. how have they already figured it out?

gaydar?

joohyun is still grimacing from seulgi’s outburst. “it’s just, you two seem to like each other a lot.” she moves over to where dahyun is still awkwardly standing, and reaches out to place a hand on her shoulder. “and it’s great if you like her! go for it, i guess.” 

“if you really like her, go tell her!” seulgi exclaims excitedly, swallowing the last of the muesli bar. “i’m sure sana would be happy about it!”

“and most importantly,” joohyun says, “be the gay you were born to be.”

“be the gay you were born to be!” seulgi echoes, and suddenly dahyun is overcome with gladness that she has moms like them. sometimes their energy is weird, but dahyun has always been fond of weird energy.

it’s also funny, because dahyun thought that coming out to her parents and admitting a crush would be a lot harder. like, a sort of interrogation, like in all the american movies. maybe she watches too much tv. also, then again, her mothers are probably the most out-there gay couple she’s ever known, which is amazing too.

she bows down at both of them. “thank you, eomma, mom,” she smiles, before turning to leave. “i’ll try.”

“we love you, hyunnie,” seulgi says, before she leaves. “remember that.”

dahyun beams. “i know.”

 

as soon as the door closes and locks behind her, joohyun and seulgi share a look.

“seul, our daughter…is all grown up.”

“i know.”

“seul, our baby is getting older.”

“i-i know.”

“seul, she’s not a baby anymore!”

i know !”

“seul, are you crying?”

“…m-maybe…” 

“oh, seulgi, baby. it’s okay, darling. come here.”

 

~

 

sixteen years old.

 

“it’s a beautiful night, we’re looking for something dumb to do…hey baby, i think i wanna marry you…”

this time, dahyun is sitting peacefully on the dorm couch, biology homework sprawled across her lap and on the coffee table. it’s literally murdering her right now. goddamn cells.

sana, her roommate, and now friend of about ten years, hums along to music in the kitchen. honestly, dahyun is scared as to what is happening there. sana has never been the most…successful cook.

 

dahyun and sana’s friendship is, well, a lot more confusing than dahyun would’ve thought.

when they were little, it was simple. they were playmates, they went to each other’s houses and had fun. (head out of the gutter!)

when they were little, the world was black and white. sana liked dahyun and dahyun liked sana, and they were best friends that nobody could part.

now? life is a lot weirder. a lot more different than “marry me!” “…okay”. a lot more complicated.

 

it’s been three years since dahyun admitted that she liked sana. like, as a lot more than best friends who agreed to get married. and she still…hasn’t gotten anywhere.

see, it was so hard to get anything to come out of her mouth when sana looked at her like that and smiled at her like that and made dahyun into a melted puddle of slush. it was so hard to look sana in the eyes and tell her, i like you.

since when was it so hard? eomma says that mom literally just told her ‘ kang seulgi, please just date me you fucking coward ’ so it shouldn’t be hard for dahyun to say the same thing.

except she tried that, and accidentally told sana ‘ beep honk, you’re a cow ’ so maybe dahyun shouldn’t listen to everything her moms tell her, despite their obvious efforts to get them together.

tragic childhood friends to lovers. except it’s unrequited, unbeta’d, and 150k words of useless pining. god, dahyun should stop reading hopeless lesbian fanfiction.

sana tells her a lot, actually. i love you. she says it so normally that dahyun’s come to accept that it’s just as friends. friends say it a lot, don’t they? do they say it with the same soft eyes and soft voice that sana does?

ugh. dahyun. stop overthinking this, you and sana are friends.

“‘til the end of the line,” sana had once told her.

 

she never forgot the promise. love each other, know each other, get married eventually. she doesn’t know if sana forgot, though, but it doesn’t seem to affect their relationship at all. so maybe she has forgotten.

dahyun still has the stingray ring, actually— she’s had to change the necklace several times, but the ring on it is still exactly the same. there are some moments where sana’s eyes are drawn to it, which gets awkward, because it’s on her chest, which means sana is staring at her chest, but dahyun thinks she doesn’t remember it anyway. she thinks sana just vaguely remembers giving it to her at some point.

also, sana really cares about her. takes her out to little dates (friend dates? date dates? she doesn’t know), always makes sure she’s fed, just makes dahyun smile all the time and feel warm. it’s normal, isn’t it? friends do this all the time. and that’s all they ever were and ever will be.

just some friends who agreed to get married. completely normal.

but…it doesn’t really feel that way.

and it doesn’t help that sana is super touchy-feely. hugging her whenever she gets the chance, kissing her cheeks, holding her hand; it’s completely random and it never fails to surprise (read: fluster) dahyun to hell and back.

additionally, puberty hasn’t helped anything. dahyun is constantly drawn to sana’s figure basically all the time, because: 

a) she’s absolutely gorgeous. what the hell. the gods in charge of body change in the early teenage years seem to have favoured minatozaki sana far too much.

b) she’s sort of, maybe, kind of got a crush on sana. like, a teeny-tiny one. just a little bit. i mean, they did agree to get married at 6 years old. she has some reason.

c) WERE HER HIPS ALWAYS LIKE THAT??

sana is literally a goddess and her body and personality proves it. she also seems to enjoy making dahyun blush, because it happens far too much and has been happening since they were little.

so…maybe dahyun has already fallen for her. maybe dahyun really fulfilled a child’s foolish promise. maybe dahyun is just a massive dumbass who fell for her childhood best friend.

 

she’s distracted by the sound of something crashing in the kitchen. she should’ve known that sana wouldn’t stay out of trouble for long enough.

“sana,” dahyun calls, “are you okay?”

soon enough, sana replies, “i’m fine! thank you for worrying about me, dahyunnie!”

dahyun only rolls her eyes half-heartedly, even more so when sana pads up behind her, dropping her speaker on the couch and wrapping her arms around dahyun’s neck. dahyun tries to ignore the way her hand moves to touch the necklace on dahyun’s neck.

“what did you drop?”

“nothing! nothing, really.”

“it was the saucepan, wasn’t it?”

“it was the saucepan,” sana admits sheepishly, letting go of dahyun and moving to sit on the couch next to her. if dahyun’s heart rate spikes when the other girl intertwines their hands together, nobody needs to know. “it’s not my fault the handle is very slippery. it’s stupid, dahyunnie, i tell you.”

“of course,” dahyun rolls her eyes fondly again. 

sana’s speaker starts to play music again, and dahyun basically feels sana’s face light up.

“really, sana?” dahyun arches an eyebrow. “bruno mars?”

sana’s smiling too brightly for dahyun to stay dubious at her. “of course! it’s a classic. a classic wedding song.” sana’s smile only widens, almost menacingly, as she watches dahyun somehow pale even more in front of her. “come on, dahyunnie. come dance with me.”

it’s a beautiful night, we’re looking for something dumb to do

dahyun sighs as she lets sana pull her up, lets sana wrap her arms around dahyun’s slim waist. lets sana nuzzle into her hair as they sway back and forth to bruno mars.

“ten years,” sana murmurs into the crown of her head. dahyun frowns quizzically.

ten years? since—

oh.

“i haven’t forgotten, you know. i never did.” sana’s voice is ethereal, and her eyes trail dahyun’s neck to the ring on her necklace. “ten years since i first saw you. how many times have i proposed now?”

hey baby, i think i wanna marry you

dahyun pulls back slightly to look up at her— sana is beautiful, she always is, but there’s something about her in this moment. looking down at her with honey-brown eyes, a soft gaze that dahyun has seen hundreds of times in her life but never fails to make her become soft, whipped butter.

“three times,” dahyun says, trying not to lose her composure as sana leans down to peck her cheek. “if you count bruno mars proposing for you.”

sana’s mouth opens into a wide, gummy grin, one dahyun doesn’t see every day. one sana says is only for her.

dahyun really cares about this girl. ten years of existing alongside each other has really reduced dahyun into a stuttering mess, she quite thinks.

“remember, you told me we could only get married if we loved each other.” sana’s voice is gentle over the sound of the music, her touch on dahyun’s waist even more so. “we could only get married if we knew each other.” sana’s gaze is watery and so loving as she pulls away to hold dahyun’s hands. “what if i told you we were halfway there?”

dahyun stops breathing for a good moment. she thinks her heart has bailed on her, too; probably escaped to somewhere far from the sweet girl who stands before her with soft and gentle eyes.

“dahyunnie,” sana says, the music coming to an end, “i really love you. i love you so much. it’s crazy, isn’t it?” she smiles so gently that dahyun wants to cry. brings her hand to trace dahyun’s jawline. “i promised it so long ago, and now we’re here.”

dahyun really is crying, now, what a fool. “i…sana…”

“you don’t have to say it if you don’t want to.” sana’s voice is delicate. so full of affection and love and everything in between. “you don’t have to marry me if you don’t want to. hell, you don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.” 

“no, i—” dahyun swallows numbly. 

 

dahyun has never been impulsive. dahyun always thinks first, before she does things. think it through, know that what you’re doing is right. her mothers taught her that.

she made sure that she thought before agreeing to marry sana when she was a little kid, didn’t she? she made sure she knew what was going on.

dahyun has never been impulsive. but, dahyun thinks, as she pushes up to stand on her toes, maybe that can go stuff itself.

 

sana’s first reaction when dahyun leans up to press their lips together is surprise.

dahyun can tell, when she freezes, but very quickly reciprocates, and it’s just as sweet as dahyun always imagined, when sana tilts her head to deepen it. 

it tastes like what all the movies say, but it’s also infinitely better.

(dahyun could get used to this.)

when she finally pulls away, the look on sana’s face is nearly enough to send her straight to death’s arms.

“oh…” sana says, face flushed, biting her lip. “that was…um…”

“too much?”

“no! no, not too much! not at all! that was, uh, good! i mean—”

dahyun only giggles. sana’s face is red now, and she’s stuttering like a maniac. 

this is new. usually it’s dahyun with the unnatural face colour.

“i love you too,” dahyun tells her. “a lot.” because it’s true. ten years next to a girl with cheeks like a hamster and a promise sweeter than honey has proved it.

“oh,” sana says.

dahyun can’t help but laugh a little at the dazed look on sana’s face. mouth slightly open and slightly bruised from their maybe makeout session, hair messy and falling around her face, cheeks tinged pink. she’s literally so cute, it’s unfair.

then sana scrunches up her nose and grins at her. leans in to peck her mouth again, turning dahyun into jelly. “god, we’re a mess, aren’t we?”

“oh, certainly,” dahyun grins back at her. “but, uh…we could be a mess…together. if— if you like.”

“of course!!” sana squeals, and before dahyun can stop her, sana has picked her up and spun her around.

“ah! sana!” dahyun squeaks, her voice a much higher pitch than usual.

“wahhh, you’re so cute~” sana says, pinching her probably bright red cheeks. dahyun blushes the whole spectrum of red colours before they both collapse onto the couch. “i love you so much. ugh.”

they lay in the peaceful silence for a while before sana rolls onto her side and leans her head on dahyun’s chest. it’s comfortable, but also at the same time makes her want to die. 

dahyun wants to combust at how domestic this feels. so normal. also, sana is really warm.

“you know,” sana mumbles into her collarbone, which is sort of ticklish, “now that we’re here, we’ve ticked all the boxes.”

dahyun leans up to stare at her quizzically. “hm?”

“we could get married now.”

dahyun is hoping to high hell and back that sana isn’t grinning devilishly at her when she opens her eyes, but of course, she hoped too hard. because there sana is.

“sanaaa,” dahyun whines, letting her head fall back onto the couch cushion. this girl is literally going to be the death of her.

sana only giggles, tracing circles on her cheek, before sitting up to kiss her again. “well. i know it’s too early to ask, but…” she pulls back slightly. “would you marry me? maybe? in the future? i know that life changes and stuff but…”

“of course, sana,” dahyun says, smiling gently, “if you’ll have me.”

sana looks at her for a moment before her lip begins to quiver and she buries her face in dahyun’s shoulder.

“sana, are you crying?”

“n-no…”

“i love you, you know that?”

“i-i…”

“oh, no. i’m sorry, please stop crying—”

 

~

 

twenty-one years old.

 

the next time sana proposes to her, it’s in the midst of a busy, stuffy airport.

dahyun is about to cry. she’s always been sensitive, but it gets so much worse in times like this. the only thing keeping her at bay is sana.

five years. five years of bliss, of quiet love, of promises hanging in the air like fairy lights in the streets of seoul. five amazing years dahyun will hold onto for as long as possible.

sana is leaving and dahyun doesn't know when she’s coming back. her luggage is purple and sits neglected beside the two.

“dahyun,” sana says, and her voice is broken, like a promise made years ago. almost 15 years. most of her life ago.

 

sana is going back to japan. her mother is asking her to go back, and dahyun knows she’s going home, because sana’s home was never with her. never their city, which would light up at night, and sana would lean down to kiss her in the street. never their apartment, where sana would dance and pull dahyun up to dance with her, and they would stumble back and forth and laugh. never her, who sana would wake up next to in the mornings, and kiss her gently.

sana is going home, and dahyun is not there. 

sana doesn’t know when she’s coming back. she tells dahyun that it’s soon, soon, sometime before dahyun gives up hope, but the way sana says it means she’s probably never coming back.

sana’s mother doesn’t like dahyun. never has. she knows, because she’d heard the phone call, heard how sana yelled, and heard how sana cried after her mother had hung up. she’d wiped sana’s tears and hugged her tight and ignored how her heart broke into a million pieces, because even sana’s mother knows that dahyun is not enough, no matter what sana says. dahyun is not enough and never will be.

 

twenty minutes. that’s all they have.

“dahyun,” sana says again. dahyun doesn’t have to look up to know that she’s crying. “dahyun, please.”

she numbly registers sana’s hand cupping her cheek, leaning into the contact— the last piece of familiarity. god, the nights she’s lived through, with sana’s touch, sana’s smile, all of her—

“sana,” dahyun says. she feels her throat closing up, but keeps talking anyway. “go home, sana.”

dahyun braces herself and looks up. sana is crying, her eyes are red and puffy, tears sliding down her face, and dahyun resists the urge to stand up on her toes and kiss them away.

sana shakes her head. “dahyun, i can’t…”

“yes, you can,” dahyun smiles lightly. tries not to let sana see her crying. sana doesn’t deserve anything but to be happy. “you can, sana. i believe in you.”

sana shakes her head, steps forward, closes a little bit of the distance between them. dahyun only vaguely hears the announcement over the loudspeakers. she only has fifteen minutes.

“i don’t…want to,” sana chokes out, moving forwards even more. if dahyun tilts her head upwards, she could kiss sana’s jawline. “i don't want to leave you.”

“you’re going home, sana.”

sana squeezes her eyes shut. “don’t you get it, dahyun? i’m not going home. i’m leaving home.”

it’s the way sana says it, broken and crying even harder. she’s sobbing now, ignoring the looks of people walking around them. to the whole world, these two girls are just friends saying goodbye.

to them, it’s the whole world falling apart.

“sana,” dahyun says, leaning up to touch their foreheads together. “sana, you have to go.”

“dahyun—”

“i love you.”

the announcement over the speakers announces ten minutes until dahyun’s world falls apart, and sana launches herself into her arms.

“i love you too,” sana cries into her shoulder, and dahyun only holds her, kissing her hair. “i’ll be back, jagiya, please wait for me.”

it’s a promise that dahyun knows could never be fulfilled, but she lets the words fill her with a little bit of hope. if it breaks her later, that’s okay.

“please, baby,” sana sniffles, her hands making fists of dahyun’s clothing. 

dahyun takes a deep, shaky breath. she loves sana. she loves sana so much, which means that she needs sana to be happy. if sana has a happy life, and that life doesn’t have dahyun in it, then so be it.

she pulls away from sana’s embrace. gently pries sana’s hands off her back. creates a little bit more distance.

“sana,” dahyun says, the next words threatening to overwhelm her, “go be happy. go be happy somewhere else.” a tight, forced smile. “with someone else.”

the tears rolling down sana’s face are almost too much to bear, and dahyun forces herself to keep her sight on her. “no, dahyun, no, i couldn’t, never. it’s always you.”

“sana,” dahyun says, “it’s okay.”

 

(it’s not okay.)

 

the dreaded announcement rings over the loudspeakers, signalling the last five minutes of dahyun’s life.

“d-dahyunnie,” sana hiccups, as dahyun opens her mouth to tell her to go again. “promise me.”

she knows that the next promise is the one dahyun will hold forever but never be kept, but she still listens. the foolish six-year-old part of her, the part that’s still in a playground with a stingray ring and a green jumper, still listens, despite the impending heartbreak.

“marry me,” sana says, crying and crying, and oh, dahyun wishes she’ll stop crying before dahyun starts to break and never be repaired. “marry me, when i come back.”

( “dahyunnie. you have to promise me.” )

the being holding dahyun’s throat squeezes it tighter. “sana…”

her hand goes up to the necklace that holds the old stingray ring on it, and sana bites her lip looking at it.

( “promise you what?” )

sana nearly collapses, reaching for her hands. sana’s hands are still soft and warm, but hold her like she never wants to let go. “please, dahyun. marry me when i get back. i’ll wait for you forever if i have to.”

( “marry me. when we’re older and we know each other and love each other better. okay?” )

it’s a promise that’s too good to be true. but dahyun’s life has been blessed with everything too good to be true. 

sana’s smile, which dahyun sees every morning, every moment. sana’s eyes, which search for hers in the early morning light. sana’s love, which dahyun has felt every day for years and years.

will it hurt to say yes ?

a beat.

she’ll take it.

a deep breath. “…okay. i’ll marry you, sana.” the shock, surprise, and hope on sana’s face is almost too much for dahyun to bear. she smiles, softly, instead. “i’ll wait for you too.”

( “okay. okay, i’ll marry you.” )

sana leans in and kisses her one more time— and dahyun can hear all the promises she wants to keep, she needs to keep, all the love and all the hope that they’ve both carried for so long. she kisses her like the world is about to end, gentle and soft but so greedy still.

“s-sana,” dahyun mumbles against her lips, “your flight…”

sana nibbles gently on her bottom lip, before pulling away, one hand still on dahyun’s cheek. leans in and kisses her gently again. “wait for me, love. i’ll be back. for you.”

it’s the last thing dahyun has, as sana walks backwards, looking at her one last time before she disappears into the waves of people.

the announcement over the speakers tells her: it’s all over now.

( “i’ll see you again, won’t i?”

“of course. for the wedding, dahyunnie.” )

the people in the airport pay dahyun no mind as she turns to leave and tells herself one more thing.

(it was nice while it lasted.)

 

a grim truth sneaks up on her as dahyun lays her head on the side of the car door while joohyun drives her back to her home.

(not the one she’s made with sana. never the one she’s made with sana. dahyun has already decided that she’s not going back there. goodness knows, dahyun will drown herself in an old life that she’ll never live again, and never return.)

sana will find someone else, in japan, someone her mother will actually like, someone who will make sana smile so much wider than she ever did, someone who could care for her and provide for her more than anyone else.

maybe they’ll get married. have a big wedding with so many smiles and so much glitter; sana loves glitter. she’d look so beautiful in a white dress, smiling brightly, like the whole sun and the whole world. sana loves the idea of a bright and colourful wedding.

maybe she’ll carry a man’s child, a small thing to call hers, who will make her happy. the child will have sana’s eyes and her love’s smile. sana said she loves the idea of being a mother. being responsible for a little thing, for her.

sana will live a life full of love and happiness, and dahyun will stay here with one half of a broken promise.

“hyun-ah,” joohyun says, voice soft in a quiet car. like when she was little. dahyun misses those days, when the world was black and white. joohyun’s hand moves to hold dahyun’s, a gesture dahyun still finds comforting after all this time.

joohyun doesn’t say anything. dahyun knows it’s because she’s at a loss as to what to say. she doesn’t blame her, though; her quiet comfort is almost enough.

 

as soon as dahyun gets home, she breaks.

seulgi, who is in the kitchen upon their time of arrival, basically runs towards her and engulfs her in a massive, warm hug.

it feels like home, but also feels so different.

“hey, hyun-ah,” she says. her voice is so comforting after the hour and a half dahyun’s just had. 

joohyun bends down to hug them both tightly, pressing a kiss to dahyun’s head. their warmth is nearly enough, their comfort, their everything.

“i’m sorry, hyunnie,” joohyun sighs into the crown of her head. “i’m sorry.”

it’s not her fault, dahyun tries to tell her, but the tears keep coming.

 

sana’s not coming back.

 

~

 

twenty-three years old.

 

two years. dahyun can nearly count the days since she’d last seen sana.

they talk, of course; sana calls her every week, every day if possible. messages her all the time. have you eaten, how was work, jaljayo jagi, i love you. it makes her smile all the same.

but it’s also…so different, dahyun thinks. a lot quieter. seeing sana on a screen is nothing like having her by her side, because at the end of the day, dahyun dances alone in an empty house. sana is hundreds of kilometres away and there’s nothing dahyun can do about it.

she moved back into their apartment about a year after she’d left sana behind in the airport. along with it was a lot of pain and a lot of messed up feelings that dahyun nearly couldn’t bear, but she lives anyway. 

or survives. they’re not the same thing but dahyun is still painfully here, so it must mean something.

sometimes the apartment feels too empty; dahyun is still too accustomed to the sounds of soft, bubbly laughter and the humming of a love once theirs. too empty, with the unused light purple plates stacked in the kitchen drawers, gathering dust. too empty, with the cold bed dahyun wakes up too every day, too neat and too tidy.

empty.

 

chaeyoung and tzuyu are around a lot, and so are joohyun and seulgi.

chaeyoung and tzuyu sometimes spend the night in the apartment. they make pillow forts and watch old disney movies like they used to when they were younger, with chaeyoung somehow knowing all the lyrics to every song, and tzuyu yelling for her to shut up. dahyun is so glad to have them in her life— as annoying as they are sometimes, they’re also dahyun’s favourite people in the world, and strangely very good therapists.

and her mothers, of course, have been amazing. joohyun stops by every few days to make sure she eats, since that’s becoming a problem. and seulgi takes her out on little mother-daughter food dates. 

it’s almost enough.

almost.

 

“dahyun,” chaeyoung groans, “you’re not even eating anything.”

dahyun blinks out of her stupor, before smiling apologetically. “sorry, chaeng. not hungry.”

“you’re never hungry, unnie,” tzuyu remarks. “one day you might just fade away.”

oh, if only. dahyun could only begin to wish for the world to let her fade away.

“you’re thinking of her,” tzuyu says, observant as always. she’s poking at a piece of meat in her kimbap. chaeyoung watches silently.

dahyun glares at her empty plate. because it’s true, she is thinking of sana, as always. as it has been for years and years. she almost doesn’t remember a life where she hasn’t thought of sana.

“why don’t you go visit?” chaeyoung queries through a mouthful of tteokbokki. “you could probably afford a return ticket to japan. if not, we could chip in, right tzu?”

dahyun shakes her head as tzuyu nods feverently. “no, no, it’s okay, i couldn’t go anyway. you remember what sana’s mom thinks about me.”

she’s not enough.

“well, fuck her,” chaeyoung declares. dahyun tries her hardest not to laugh, but fails, as per usual. even tzuyu lets out a little chuckle. “she’s an asshole. goodness knows how she birthed someone like sana.”

someone sweet and kind. someone too good for her.

maybe dahyun does see what sana’s mother thinks of her.

“just go, unnie,” tzuyu says, moving her hand to touch dahyun’s. “what do you have to lose?”

everything, dahyun wants to say, but doesn’t. she has everything to lose.

 

“jagi! look what i found!”

joohyun looks up, frowning at where seulgi’s legs poke out of the ceiling. she’s rummaging around in the attic, and joohyun can hear the sounds of various items likely breaking.

“what is it?”

“just wait!” seulgi replies, voice muffled. soon enough she pulls herself out of the ceiling and triumphantly holds a little box. “ta-da!”

sometimes her wife is so much like a little child that joohyun just has to sigh. fondly, but still. “what’s that, seulgi-yah?”

seulgi grins widely, bounds down the ladder (in a way that makes joohyun want to warn her, because it’s more likely she’ll end up in the hospital, but this is seulgi. she gave up long ago) and places the box on the coffee table in front of the couch.

“you remember my little camera?” seulgi asks, pulling out her old camera. it’s faded, the lenses slightly cracked. but yes, joohyun does remember.

“i kept all the photos,” seulgi explains softly. pulls out a few polaroids, lays them on the table.

joohyun feels a wave of nostalgia flood her senses. there are some photos she never knew existed— there’s one from dahyun’s childhood, the first time they went out as a family after dahyun’s adoption, with joohyun pulling a funny face and seulgi and dahyun laughing.

she remembers that day. it was a long time ago but she still remembers it.

there’s a lot with sana, too; some from when dahyun was only about 10 or 11, smiling and laughing and all the moments in between. some more from when they’re slightly older. some with joohyun and seulgi, some without.

and then joohyun is drawn to one of them near the end of the table. she looks so…young in the photo. she’s smiling, so widely, a few streaks of paint on her cheeks, definitely done by seulgi.

“this…” joohyun trails off, pads of her fingers tracing the photo. “this was our first date, wasn’t it?” she turns to look at seulgi, whose gaze is transfixed on the polaroid. “i didn’t know you took a photo.”

 

( “i’m going to marry her one day,” joohyun claimed, watching seulgi dance around. the walls were blue and so were her hands.

yerim shrugged. “if you can get through her thick-ass skull,” she grinned, “then go ahead.”

she watched as seulgi ran up to her, wide smile on her face. beaming like a little child. adorable and beautiful, too.

until she dabbed a bit of blue on joohyun’s cheek, before laughing and running off.

“yah! seulgi!”

“sorry, unnie!” seulgi laughed, in a voice that told her that she was not sorry at all.

joohyun sighed. she really will marry this girl. )

 

seulgi grins guiltily. “well— you just looked really pretty so i decided to freeze the moment.”

joohyun-ssi yeppeuda <3, the faded sharpie in the corner says. 

“and you kept it,” joohyun says. her voice is quiet. “all this time.”

“of course.”

all this time…

it reminds her of a promise once made between two girls. it reminds her of the time dahyun came home with a smile and a ring. it reminds her of bright eyes during sleepovers. it reminds her of two young girls in love, laughing and smiling.

it reminds her of the time dahyun cried for weeks upon weeks, and joohyun could do nothing but kiss her head and hold her tightly.

seulgi leans over to grab joohyun’s hand. squeezes it reassuringly. “she’ll be okay, yeobo. she’ll be okay.”

seulgi’s words bring comfort to her, as always, but joohyun still worries. dahyun hasn’t smiled in so long. 

then seulgi’s phone buzzes from the floor, and she picks it up. “are you expecting someone, seulgi?”

seulgi wears an expression of confusion. “no? who’s it from?”

joohyun leans in, squints to read the name in bold. then gasps. 

“it’s from…sana.”

 

i miss you, darling, ” sana’s soft, sleepy voice barely penetrates dahyun’s train of thought. but it comes through, as always; it seems like dahyun’s brain is wired to focus on just the sound of sana’s voice. 

dahyun adjusts herself so she can comfortably stare into the screen while lying on her stomach. sana’s favourite pillow sits under her arm. “i miss you too.”

four words were never enough.

sana, from the other side of the screen, is still beautiful. bare-faced, smiling just like that, even the graininess of facetime can’t diminish her beauty.

they sit in the comfortable silence for a while. most nights are like this, with both of them quiet, just…basking in each other’s digital presence. if dahyun closes her eyes for long enough, it’s just like before; sana curled up on one side of the bed, her warmth radiating off of her, soft sleepy breathing.

but she opens her eyes and sana is just a screen. dahyun is still alone in their apartment.

dahyun? jagi? ” she opens her eyes to see sana leaning down close to her phone, before smiling. “ you’re falling asleep, princess. go to bed.

“nooo,” dahyun whines, lip jutting out in a pout. sana coos. “i don’t want to go.”

i’ll message you tomorrow morning, ” sana promises. “ i’m busy at work for most of the day, though, so i can’t call. ” blows her a kiss and smiles warmly. “ but! i got a little surprise for you. for tomorrow.

this perks dahyun’s interest. “oh? what kind of surprise?”

i got your mothers to help me. just… ” sana bites her lip. “ you’ll see. go talk to them, mmkay?

dahyun tilts her head curiously. frowns a little bit, but lets it go. “okay. tomorrow, then.”

tomorrow, ” sana agrees. the camera shakes a little bit as sana picks it up. “ love you, baby .”

“love you too.”

and the screen goes black, leaving dahyun in the dark alone with her thoughts.

 

“eomma?” 

the door opens to reveal a fresh-looking seulgi. “good morning, hyun-ah. how are you feeling?”

dahyun blinks; none of the blinds in the house are open yet, and her eyes haven’t adjusted to the light pouring in from outside. also, her mind hasn’t quite caught up in the two minutes since she’s woken up.

“what are you doing here?”

“checking on my darling daughter, of course,” seulgi snarks, before softening. “i assume sana told you about her surprise?”

“she has,” dahyun says. waits for seulgi to elaborate, but she doesn’t. “she also said that you had something to do with it.”

“maybe a little bit.” seulgi grins, before giving her a little slip of paper. “she says to go to the old playground you two met at. that’s where the surprise is.”

dahyun frowns. what kind of surprise needs a playground? “do you know what the surprise is?”

“yes, but i can't tell you,” seulgi rolls her eyes half-heartedly, “that’s the whole point of a surprise, hyun.”

dahyun sighs. looks down at the paper, where the address of the playground is written. she’d never have forgotten it in a million years, but stuffs it into her pocket anyway. “where are you going, anyway? i haven’t seen you look so nice in ages.”

“date with the wife,” seulgi throws her a dirty look before flicking her forehead. then gestures towards where her car sits. “your mom’s been pestering me about this place. also, i basically signed a contract to take her out every once in a while when we got married.”

“YAH! I HEARD THAT, KANG SEULGI!” a faint yell from the car. both dahyun and seulgi roll their eyes before laughing.

“anyway. see you tomorrow, hyun-ah,” seulgi says, ruffling her hair in a way that feels both nostalgic and annoying as hell. “good luck.”

dahyun doesn’t have time to think about what she means before seulgi is off.

 

it’s a dark evening, the light seeping down into sunset much earlier than most other days. dahyun can barely make out the sidewalk, but still she hurries as fast as she can to the playground.

dahyun had visited this playground many, many times since she’d first met sana. sometimes with her, sometimes alone.

it’s always been a cute little place. a warm place. a place with nice memories. their little playground.

it’s there, in sight, but dahyun stops short within a few metres of it.

there is someone sitting on the swings of the playground. gently rocking her heels back and forth. dahyun can’t see her face, but her hair catches the light from the lamppost above.

the figure on the swings is familiar, so familiar, that dahyun’s breath catches; because if this is a dream, she’s going to kill someone.

it’s… her. really her.

she looks exactly the same as when dahyun last saw her. hair has faded from the light orange she’d last had, hair tied up messily, hands loosely grasping the chains of the swing.

dahyun walks closer— slowly, quietly, so as to not disturb the girl on the swing, but it’s no use; she looks up at her and it feels like the first time all over again.

sana’s smile is just as soft, just as gentle, just as bright, as dahyun remembers, in long nights filled with caffeine and the smell of sana’s perfume. and sana’s embrace is just as warm, as she nearly jumps up to grab dahyun around the waist, and dahyun buries her face in her safe spot in sana’s neck. it’s almost like a dream.

“dahyun,” sana breathes, and oh , dahyun missed how her name sounded on sana’s tongue. “dahyun.”

it’s so unreal that dahyun nearly believes it is. for a fleeting moment, dahyun believes that she will wake up, and sana’s smile will disappear, and she’ll be back alone in their apartment, grasping pillows that lost their scent long ago. but sana pulls back and the look on her face, of hope and happiness and euphoria, is too real.

sana swallows visibly and smiles shakily, nervous like she was during all their firsts. the first time they kissed. the first time they went on a date. the first time they held hands outside. all of them.

god, dahyun didn’t know she could miss someone so much.

“sana,” dahyun says, voice trembling, “y-you’re here.”

“i don’t break my promises,” sana lets herself smile. “i’m here, dahyunnie, i’m here.”

and sana leans down and dahyun is home, here, in sana’s arms, with sana’s taste, touch, her love. it’s been so long since dahyun’s last felt like this.

“i’m sorry,” sana mumbles against her lips, “i’m so sorry, i shouldn’t have left— i shouldn’t have gone…”

dahyun leans their foreheads together. to the rest of the world, they’re just two girls embracing in a playground in the middle of the night. to them, the whole world is coming back together. “no, sana, jagi, it’s not your fault. never your fault.”

sana caresses her cheek, with warm hands. dahyun leans into the contact instantly. home, home, home.

“so,” sana says, interrupting their little silent moment. pulls back to hold dahyun’s hands. she looks nervous, and dahyun almost thinks she’s going to leave again.

sana must sense dahyun’s anxiety, because she shakes her head. “no, no, dahyunnie, i’m not leaving again! it’s okay!” then she bites her lip. smiles and leans in to kiss her again. “i’m never leaving again.”

this reassures dahyun a little bit. lets herself relax slightly.

is it selfish? maybe. greedy? certainly. but sana is here and so is dahyun. sana is not leaving again, and sana is right here, and sana is kneeling, and— oh.

oh.

“oh,” dahyun says.

“i did promise, didn’t i?” sana smiles lightly, and oh, god, she’s holding a ring. a real ring. glinting with the light of the lamppost.

“kim dahyun,” sana starts, and her voice is already catching. dahyun can feel her eyes starting to prick with tears. “kim dahyun, i love you so much. you’re so sweet and absolutely gorgeous and i’m convinced that you are a real life angel sent down from heaven.” both of them let out a wet chuckle at that. “and i want to stay with you like i promised.” sana tries to smile but instead chokes back a sob. “seventeen years, dahyun. i’ve loved you for so long. and i want to make you happy.”

dahyun feels like she should say something, but can’t seem to make any words come out of her mouth. sana understands, though. 

“so…i was just wondering…” sana continues, biting her lip, voice wavering. “if you’d like to marry me?” off of dahyun’s wide eyes, she backtracks a little bit. “i mean, it’s okay if not, i can’t really promise much, but—”

she doesn’t get to finish her sentence, because dahyun basically jumps on her, nearly tumbling both of them over. “sana, sana, sana.”

sana blinks dumbly for a few seconds. “wait, wh-?”

“of course i’ll marry you, you idiot.” dahyun is openly crying now. “i’ve waited this long, haven’t i?”

sana takes a moment to respond, but soon she’s crying, too. quickly slips the ring on dahyun’s finger before hugging her tightly and mumbling into her hair, “i love you, i love you, i love you.” kisses her softly. once, twice, again and again.

 

to the world, they’re just two girls in love. to them, it’s everything.

 

~

 

they’re married in a small place. it’s quick, and they probably messed it up somewhere, but neither of them care.

it turns out sana looks spectacular in a wedding dress, smiling brightly at dahyun. she looks like she’s glowing.

there aren’t many people; some of sana and dahyun’s friends. chaeyoung and tzuyu, of course. and irene and seulgi, both of whom are sobbing their eyes out.

even sana’s father is here. he smiles proudly at both of them, and even shoots dahyun a little thumbs up.

dahyun decides, in that moment, that she’s willing to spend the rest of her life with sana.

they dance, too; they dance to all sorts of songs. dahyun keeps stepping on sana’s feet, and sana’s laughter rings through the air louder than the music ever could be, but they’re happy.

 

(and after the wedding, sana’s father pulls dahyun to the side. at first she’s scared he thinks the same of her as sana’s mother does.

but instead, he smiles.

“i just want you to know,” he says, “that you are so much more than enough. you are an amazing person, dahyun-ah. you’re sana’s everything.” sana’s father smiles before hugging her warmly. “thank you for staying with her.”)

 

and later that night, dahyun crawls into bed, exhausted but happy. collapses into sana’s waiting arms. and sana holds her, like she has for so long.

“we did it,” dahyun says.

“we did it,” sana echoes. leans over to kiss the shell of dahyun’s ear. whispers in her ear. dahyun can’t see her face but knows she’s about to fall asleep. “i love you.”

“i love you too,” she says, before singing her love to sleep.

 

~

 

twenty-seven years old.

 

the sun has barely penetrated dahyun’s eyelids when she’s abruptly woken up by someone jumping on the bed.

there’s a poking on her cheek. poking and poking and poking.

“i married you, like i promised,” dahyun grumbles, swatting the hand away, “and this is how you repay me?”

as annoying as she can be sometimes, sana’s little laugh makes dahyun smile ever so slightly. “you love me, dahyunnie. now wake up!”

“n…no.”

“wake up!

“what time is it?”

“time for you to get up,” sana pouts, blowing air into her face. dahyun scrunches her nose up before adjusting herself so her head rests in sana’s lap. “do you know what today is, yeobo ?”

dahyun blinks slowly, eyes still adjusting to the light. “…day fifty-three of me wanting this baby to hurry the hell up and birth itself?”

sana only laughs, a soft noise in a soft morning. she leans down to peck dahyun’s mouth and lightly brushes her fingers against the skin of dahyun’s stomach. dahyun does admit that she is hella tired of having to drag two people around whenever she wants to go out, but sana seems excited to be a mother. when sana is happy, dahyun is happy. so she’ll just deal with it for now. 

hopefully the baby is nicer and less mean than her mother. goodness knows dahyun couldn’t survive with two of her wife.

“no,” sana shakes her head, eyes shining. “today is day seven thousand, six hundred and sixty-five of being in love with my amazing and beautiful and adorable wife. twenty-one years.” her smile is so bright that dahyun thinks that she might go blind before thirty. “and that meeeaaaans…we’re going out!”

dahyun narrows her eyes at sana before pushing herself up to rest her head on sana’s shoulder. “where?”

“you’ll see.” sana says in a sing-song voice, before her gaze softens and she leans down to kiss her jaw. “now, go get ready. i already made breakfast for both of us.”

 

“would you look at that,” sana says, nodding up ahead. “it’s still there.”

dahyun frowns, blinks a few times. 

then it registers.

it’s their playground.

the paint is weathered, flaking in all the corners, and the plastic worn from years of children playing and laughing. it’s empty now, since it’s a school day. and there’s a sign nearby, saying that the playground will be destroyed soon. 

“they’re making a new playground here,” sana muses, tapping the sign with her pinkie finger.

but for now— it’s still undeniably their playground.

“oh,” dahyun says. and sana laughs and releases her hand to run up to the playground with all the excitement and playfulness of a young child. to think she’ll be a mother in a few months’ time. this woman is nearly thirty, but still finds so much joy in such a small thing.

“dahyunnie, look, look here,” sana says, giggling like a schoolchild. she’s somehow managed to climb up on the monkey bars, and before dahyun knows it, she’s swung upside down so that she’s hanging on with only her legs, arms dangling in the air. it’s so familiar but so distant, now.

dahyun lets herself smile. steps closer so that sana’s face is near hers. 

“twenty one years!” sana exclaims, as she jumps off the monkey bars and grins bashfully at dahyun. “and you’re still stuck with me.”

dahyun sighs fondly. she really is stuck with this woman, isn’t she?

“twenty one years,” sana says, one more time, as she takes dahyun’s hand. it’s cold outside and sana reaches up to zip dahyun’s jacket for her, before leading her to a bench nearby. “and we kept our promise, didn’t we?”

dahyun smiles lightly. leans up to press a quick kiss to sana’s cheek. “we did.”

 

they sit at the bench for a few more minutes, watching the playground, as a few kids with parents run up to jump on the equipment. they laugh and smile like dahyun and sana did all those years ago. they’re happy, too, like they are now.

“we’re going to have to take dahyun jr here, later,” sana grins, tapping dahyun’s belly with a finger. “to the new playground.”

dahyun hums. “definitely. maybe they’ll meet their future partner here, too. wouldn’t that be funny.”

sana laughs, leans her head on dahyun’s shoulder. “let’s go have lunch. i did promise you, didn’t i?”

“you did,” dahyun says. “and you don’t break your promises, do you?”

“never.”

 

as they make to leave, dahyun takes one last look at the playground. the old swings, creaking slightly with the wind. the slide, plastic weathered and battered. the monkey bars, the faded multicoloured metal. 

she’ll miss this place, when it goes. it did help her find the love of her life, after all.

but hopefully when she comes back, it’ll be better than before.

 

their playground. 

 

twenty one years.

 

one promise.

 

[ end ]

 

 

" we’re only getting older, baby

and i’ve been thinking about it lately

does it ever drive you crazy

just how fast the night changes? "

 

night changes, one direction

Notes:

I SWEAR I DO WRITE FLUFFY STUFF

but. hope you enjoyed!!

anyway, side rant: have you ever seen an author that you know the fics of give your work kudos? bro. that happened the other day and i nearly criedddd like

AlaskaAustralia?? if you’re there? i fucking love your fics. SOOO much. i recommended them to my friend bc she wanted angst/fluff shit and i was like “girl you MUST read this” for basically all ur fics. i nearly died when i saw ur name in the kudos list—

OKAY I WILL STOP FANGIRLING NOW SKDJSKD

i hope u enjoyed <3 feel free to comment or anything! praise makes me feel nice and motivated to chrun out even more fanfics

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‼️‼️ and revisit the fic playlist: i’d marry you with paper rings.

love you <3!! azzie out x

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