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maybe i have been used up

Summary:

Sasha didn't remember much about the Before, just a feeling of warmth in her chest, a bright laugh and warm hands holding hers. No names, no faces, no voices, just feelings.

And Sasha liked it that way.

She didn't remember anything before waking up, surrounded by water and with Him in her head. But that was fine, because even though she couldn't remember, she was learning again.

---

or: after the events in the throne room, sasha has had time to acquaint herself with her new roommate!

Notes:

HI!!!!! DID U MISS ME??? shakhdad

back at it again w the sasha angst!!!! u should probably read the first part to understand this but it's p easy to pick up if u don't want to!!!

i've had this written for months but only a few of my friends saw it, and their kind words convinced me to post this!!! i'm not too proud of this but at the same time, this is a style i don't do often for an au/idea i haven't worked in a while so dhkdhadh (just a quick heads up this hasn't been massively edited, i went through for obvious errors and added in words in places i thought needed bulking but yh this isn't perfect and if u see any mistakes pls ignore it <3)

i do hope u all enjoy and i'll love to hear all your thoughts and feelings at the end!!!!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Sasha didn't remember much about the Before. Just a feeling of warmth in her chest, a bright laugh and warm hands holding hers. No names, no faces, no voices, just feelings.

 

And Sasha liked it that way.

 

She didn't remember anything before waking up, surrounded by water and with Him in her head. But that was fine, because even though she couldn't remember, she was learning again.

 

He would tell her things, teach her about the war and why she was special and going to be a turning point in stopping it to keep everyone safe. She would listen, rather intently, as He would tell her about what had happened to her, what led to her being in that glass tube. He told her about the two girls that stabbed her in the back and left her for dead. That only He could've saved her, and if He wasn't around she would be dead. Killed by people that were her friends.

 

Sasha couldn't remember those friends, but she knew she didn't trust them. That was all amplified by the knowledge that it was these, so called, friends that she was fighting against. It was them, causing all the pain and suffering. That's what her job was, He wanted her to protect Amphibia from the two with glowing eyes and hair.

 

These lessons would take place under a tree. She never remembered going to the tree, it would simply appear and there she was, sitting against the trunk with a book in her lap. He told her they'd made the trip, that she'd walked there, but she never even remembered opening her eyes. Not that it really mattered though. She was under the tree and He was telling her all these things about how He came to be.

 

The tree was strange, Sasha thought it was a willow tree, but each time she looked too closely the leaves would shift, blurring at the edges until she looked back to the horizon, or the book placed on her lap. It was always sunny under the tree, and she was constantly bathed in light, but Sasha was always cold. No matter how much she tried to move, or sat in direct sunlight, all she could feel was mind numbing coldness.

 

But it wasn't anything to worry about. He said that it was normal, though something in the back of Sasha's head told her He was wrong… but He was never wrong, so Sasha quickly stopped questioning it.

 

Sasha wasn't aware of the passing of time, He told her all she needed to know and if that didn't include how long she'd been His host, then she simply didn’t know.

 

So she wasn't sure how long it had been when the world started to fall apart. 

 

One moment she was sitting under the tree, reading all about a music box and how it was very important, and the next thing she knew there was a voice, echoing in the back of her head.

 

But it wasn't His voice. She'd pushed it away at first, because if it wasn't Him it wasn't important. Then it got louder, and then the only thing that could block it out was Him,  talking louder and louder to the point He was shouting. Telling her to do all these things, like fight and duck and kick, but she couldn't.

 

She'd never disobeyed Him before, but as He grew louder and tried to drown out the noise, she felt herself becoming cold, so, so cold and light. Almost like she was floating in something.

 

With her hands clamped over her ears, Sasha tried to continue reading, because maybe if she finished the page He would stop shouting, and let her rest again.

 

She finished the page,

 

and He was still ordering her to do things.

 

She could hardly hear Him anymore.

 

Everything was blurring into a loud rushing noise, louder and louder, until it was all she could hear.

 

Her hands tightened around her ears as she sat there, under the ever-changing tree. She didn't mean to cry, if He knew she'd been crying He wouldn't be happy, but she couldn't stop the tears welling in her eyes as the sunny patch of grass wilted and the tree cracked and burst into flames. The sob seemed to come from nowhere, but once she'd started she couldn’t stop and soon she was practically begging for Him to let her go.

 

But He wasn’t there.

 

The realisation dawned slowly, as her world shrivelled and burnt, that she was alone. He'd left her. He had left her just like her friends.

 

She was alone.

 

She was cold,

 

and scared.

 

So, very scared.

 

She was about to give up, give in when the voice came, bringing with it a searing, unexplainable pain in her heart.

 

Muffled, but gentle and Sasha knew it was for her. "Hey, we're going to get you out, okay? Marcy just went to find something we can break this with," the voice spoke. So different to Him. The voice was soft, and slightly sad, but it held so much warmth.

 

Marcy… She knew that name. Sasha knew that name and she knew who was talking to her. Their name was on the tip of her tongue.

 

"'Kay, Anne, I don't know what this is, but it looks heavy enough to break through reinforced glass. "

 

Anne.

 

Anne and marcy.

 

They were her friends.

 

They were saving her?

 

Why were they saving her? After they'd killed her?

 

Unless…

 

No, no He wouldn't lie. Why would He lie?

 

A loud THUMP caused Sasha to jump up, clinging to the remnants of the tree for dear life. Then there was another one. THUMP.

 

On the third one, it felt like a dam had broken somewhere. There was a loud crash and a tinkling of glass, but Sasha wasn't focused on that. No she was more focused on the sudden warmth enveloping her, voices loud in her ears. Happy, giggling voices, and arms wrapping around her, pulling her into warmth she’d craved for so long.

 

It was then she noticed the tree fading away. Her hands were soon grasping at nothing but darkness. Am I going to wake up now? Is this it?

 

Then there was an orange glow.

 

Oh.

 

Of course.

 

Of course it had been a trick.

 

No one was going to come for her.

 

No one was going to save her because she didn't need saving. Sasha wasn't in danger. not if He was there.

 

And He was.

 

Did you enjoy the show, Miss Waybright?

Notes:

hehehehe

there should be other parts coming so keep your eyes peeled!!! once again, i hope you all enjoyed! please tell me all your thoughts hehehe

kudos and comments are massively appreciated!!!!

find me on tumblr @waybrights !!

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