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It's raining. Heavily . And being out in the middle of the open trying to subdue swans just to get a few cents a day to afford living in a dumpster while your possum roommate refuses to pay rent is NOT the best place to be in when that happens. Unfortunately, our dear friend Randy is in this place. Who else would be?
So now he was absolutely soaked in both cloud nectar AND swan spit with a hint of garbage juice and various other things, wonderful . He just wanted to get out of the rain, so he ran, looking for the closest thing nearby. Good thing the bar wasn’t closed, he ran right in.
Various people were either playing the slot machines, losing all of their life savings, or heavily drunk at the bar trying to flirt with everyone and everything, some poor bastard was flirting with the wall thinking it was a lady. The barman Pierre looked at him.
“Aren’t you the guy in Bunny’s dumpster?” He told him. “I thought you were in poverty or something, I won’t give a drink for no price, feel free to be in even more of a crippling debt over by the gambling section though .”
“I don’t do that stuff; I just came here to get out of the rain admittedly.” He went to the bathroom to grab a few paper towels to dry himself off, although he could just use the hand dryer, he was not ready to embarrass himself in front of whoever's in there . Pierre went back to giving already drunk enough customers drinks.
He took perhaps too many paper towels and cleaned himself off to the best of his ability and threw the paper towels away. Before he could leave, someone in front of him stopped him, he looked up.
The guy was tall, taller than him, with the newest phone released as his head, talk about a showoff, he was wearing a generic outfit with long sleeves, and was clearly a bit drunk.
“Oh! Uh… mind moving out of the way sir...?”
The guy in front of him shoved a cup in his hands “Take some of this... It's... good. Pierre don’t normally sell this stuff.”
Randy was smart enough to not drink or take things from strangers. He was thirsty though… The drink was a bright green, was this man giving him poison? He got worried; he didn’t know what he would do if he declined.
He decided to take it, it goes with his motto anyways; ‘At worst this will probably just kill me, which is better for everyone, including myself’.
“What is this?”
“Absinthe. It’s not exactly legal here, so you better try it while I have it.”
Randy looked down at the drink in his hand, he was hesitant. This man just said it wasn’t legal here. I wonder why. He took a little sip.
“ ALL of it. If Pierre catches eyes of this, he’s going to think it was me who gave you that.” The man left.
Randy looked at the drink again, it wasn’t THAT bad. He took more sips, then drank the whole thing. He didn’t feel weird, so he thought it was just fine.
WRONG
After a few minutes Randy started seeing emus, swans, and various other long necked birds, now screaming for help. Pierre had kicked him out of the bar, and it was STILL raining. Randy had to find the next closest shelter, but a lot of the buildings were closed, and emus were guarding every door.
Wait…
THE CINEMA!
He could go there, it's plenty warm and moist and is usually open today. He ran over to Uptown Dialtown dodging the imaginary birds and went inside. He was breathing heavily.
Oliver looked over at him, surprised “What’s the rush Randy?”
“BIRDS, EVERYWHERE, I CAN'T ESCAPE THEM! OLIVER HELP ME ” He shook him intensely.
“Calm down! What do you mean birds? Did you have to escape another swan?”
“YES, THEY’RE TRYING TO BREAK IN, LOOK!” He pointed at the cinema windows while now hiding behind the counter.
He looked at the window “It’s… just rain.” he looked back at him; Randy was shaking while holding onto him. He didn’t know what to do.
Oliver spoke again “You need some rest dude, clearly you’re just seeing things.”
“ THEY’LL EAT ME IN MY SLEEP. ”
He sighed “Just come to my house, my shifts about over, it’s bird proof.” He patted his head in an attempt to calm him down, it only made things worse.
“THEY’RE PECKING AT MY BRAINS OLIVER GET ME OUUUUUTTTT! ”
Oliver dragged him outside and put him in the car, Randy still screaming, he started driving to his house. He put on some 80’s music to drown out the sounds of the screaming. By the time he got home Randy was asleep, he picked him up to the best of his ability and went inside.
He sat Randy down on the couch and wrote a note to tell him what happened in case he woke after he left for his shift, he then went to his own room to sleep.
.
.
.
Randy woke up, feeling shittier than usual. He looked around, wait… This isn’t his garbage can. He found a sticky note on the table, he picked it up.
“Hey dude, you broke into the cinema screaming about how birds were trying to kill you right before the end of my shift. I took you to my house, feel free to make yourself at home since it's still raining, and also, I really don’t want you screaming at people that there's emus taking over the world.
- Oliver”