Archive of Our Own ^beta

Hwang Hyunjin flipped the cigarette to the ground. He blew smoke from his nostrils.

"Do not mention that name."

His voice was low, danger seeping from every syllable. He shook his head lightly to move his long bangs out of his eyes. The blond had grown out a little, black roots starting to show, but it just made him more intimidating. 

He had gathered his hair in a messy bun, loose strands cascading over his shoulder. Every time he was mistaken as a girl, he took it as a compliment. Just thinking about the gross men that had flirted with him made him want to puke. He lured them in, flirted back, and then gave them a lesson on respecting women by kicking them in the balls so hard they usually wouldn"t move for a while. 

Hyunjin leaned back on the sofa, stared at the ceiling fan. Someone had hung boxer briefs on one of the rotor blades. 

"Brother, I just wanted to inform you." The man in front of Hyunjin was older by a few years, he was wearing all black, a silken shirt open so a dragon tattoo spread over his chest was visible. 

"Sure, thank you, Ryu." Hyunjun waved his hand and Ryu turned around immediately to leave the room.

"Get me Yang." Hyunjin yelled after him. 

Ryu nodded without turning around and ducked through the door. 

Hyunjin stretched out over the old leather sofa. The room was shabby, the backroom of a laundromat, but it was in the middle of a densely populated area of Hongdae making their business a little easier. It had taken Hyunjin only a year to take over the entire Hongdae branch. He focused on helping people, rather than getting them addicted to shit, and it paid off. The police just were way too useless in the nightlife of Seoul. They should just continue sorting the traffic jam on apgujong-sageori. 

A nightlife where people felt safe meant they frequented their clubs and restaurants. 

Hyunjin was about to light another cigarette when Yang came through the door. He never knocked.

"That"s bad for your health, Hyung." Yang Jeongin was tall and skinny, nothing would lead anyone to believe the sheer strength in him  if not demonstrated in real time. 

"Yeah yeah, mom." Hyunjin bickered but put the cigarette back into the box. 

"I heard from Ryu. They"re trying to move into our turf?" Jeongin let himself drop into one of the leather armchairs and swung his legs over one armrest. 

"It"s the building for sale close to the border to Sinchon, so of course they"d want to seize the opportunity to get on our nerves."

"Do you think he has his fingers in this?"

"Possible. Minho knows how to annoy me. But i don"t know his current standing in the organisation."

Minho was generally around when the organisation dealt with Hyunjin"s turf. Either they had intel that Minho pissed him off, or Minho had wrapped his boss around his finger so well that he could do what he wanted. Hyunjin guessed a bit of both. 

"I guess we"re gonna go for a little tea party. Gather Ryu and Seoyun."

Seoyun played with the end of the chain she had wrung around her waist and hips as a belt. Her black hair was in two tight buns, only her perfectly straight bangs and two strands of hair swayed in the wind that howled through the small alley in Sincheon. She wore platform shoes that made her almost as tall as Jeongin. Hyunjin always wondered how she never stumbled, he even fell when walking barefoot. 

Ryu was ogling her thighs that were in fishnet tights, showing under her black skirt. Jeongin gave him a slap to the back of his head.

"Stop drooling, Ryu, you don"t have a chance anyways."

"Why that? She got a man?" He turned to Jeongin.

"No," Hyunjin said. "But a girlfriend that will bury you alive if you even try so much as flirt with her." 

The shock on Ryu"s face was evident. Seoyun held her hand in front of her mouth and giggled into it. 

Jeongin opened the door to the Pajeon place, an old wooden sliding door. The restaurant didn"t even have a sign, people just knew or didn"t know it existed. 

The kitchen help greeted them, evidently new at the job, evidently not knowing who Hyunjin was. Hyunjin smiled and walked past him, straight to the storage room, followed closely by Ryu and Yang, Seoyun hanging back a little. 

An underling woman walking into a boss office first was the highest form of disrespect, but Hyunjin wasn"t there to disrespect. Only to annoy. Taking Seoyun with him was more of a precaution, showing up with his best fighters was always a security measure. 

The door was closed, no guards. Hyunjin barged in, the door crashed against the wall. 

Behind a large desk sat two people. A young man was staring at him from over his shoulder. Hands on his back and at his nape indicated he was sitting on the other"s lap.

Minho moved his head so he could see who had trampled into his office. 

Hyunjin bathed in the frown on Minho"s face as he realised. 

"So you like young boys now? I hope he"s not a minor, I recently made friends with a police officer." Hyunjin leered. 

Minho pushed the young man, who was still wearing part of his high school uniform, off his lap and made him sit on the desk.

"He"s 19, legal. you"re also younger than me, so this shouldn"t come as surprise." Minho swayed in his desk chair, gaze not leaving Hyunjin. 

Hyunjin"s eye twitched. He had to keep calm. 

Minho"s hair was tousled and his white shirt was open, all the way down, showing the scar on his abs. Hyunjin came closer but gestured to Ryu and Yang to stay back. Seoyun was guarding the door. 

Hyunjin walked around the expensive sofa that looked out of place in the other wise shabby room. He leaned on the desk and the high school boy startled, hurriedly stood next to Minho"s chair.

"Didn"t come far, huh?" Hyunjin gestured Minho"s bulge.

"Didn"t come at all, you bastard." Minho spoke through gritted teeth. 

Hyunjin looked at the highschooler. Tall, lanky, shy. Slightly too long hair, perfect for pulling it. Minho had a type. 

"What do you want?" Minho asked, buttoning up his fly. 

"You"re not going to buy that building, Minho."

"Is this a threat? send those to my boss." Minho sighed and his hand wandered up the boys thighs, to his back and Hyunjin watched as Minho squeezed the boy"s butt. The boy gasped. Minho was so irritating. 

"It"s not. It"s a friendly warning. That"s my territory and you know that."

"Of course I know, that"s why I"m buying it. Sorry you don"t have enough money to hold your own turf." Minho"s eyes were cold. An icy shiver ran down Hyunjin"s spine and he hid it by standing up tall.

"Oh we do. The seller just won"t let us have it. He told me something about a good looking young man, threatening - I mean offering a deal." 

Minho smiled, still fondling the behind of the high schooler and Hyunjin wanted to eat the table. 

"We could also make a deal." Minho said and laid his head to the side.

Hyunjin sat back against the backrest of the sofa and crossed his arms. 

He sighed. "Well, what conditions?"

"Hmm," Minho pretended to think. Hyunjin knew what was coming. 

"You give me your ass-"

Hyunjin burst out laughing. High pitched, clear as day, obvious fake laughter.

"What did i expect of the Gimpo Butt Hunter?" Hyunjin"s fake laughter turned into actual laughter, tears in his eyes. 

Then he abruptly stopped. "You already took my virginity, this doesn"t work again."

Hyunjin could hear bulky Ryu gasp and stumble by the door. 

Minho squinted his eyes. "You fucker either-"

"You"re the fucker, I don"t fuck."

"Okay. You whore , get lost. No deal." A grin played around Minho"s lips. 

"Show up on my turf and get ready to end up in hospital. Luckily the severance isn"t too far from here." Hyunjin turned around as he spoke and left the room, his long hair angrily flying around him. 

Hyunjin barked orders at Jeongin and Ryu when they were back in Hongdae. They had to be careful in case Minho wanted to pull something while they were distracted. 

Seoyun stood in the door of the laundromat, the chains on her hip and shoes rattling with every small movement.

"Boss, go clear your head. I"ll take your route tonight." 

Hyunjin nodded, grateful for Seoyun"s attentive eyes. He felt in his pockets for his keys and bowed past Seoyun. The back alley where the laundromat was in was barely wide enough for three people to walk next to each other, no car would fit. 

His motorcycle stood untouched at the back wall. 

He went for a ride, away from hongdae and sinchon, away from Minho, away from the endless fighting. He hadn"t even really noticed where he was going until the city thinned out and he found himself in a surburb, or used to be surburb. The city had eaten it up, dragged it halfway in, large apartments towering above the older, much lower architecture. 

Hyunjin took a right turn to the abandoned car park and rode all the way up to the rooftop. 4 levels of graffiti, broken bottles, abandoned cars. 

This had been the hangout spot for gang kids before the highschool close by got closed. Hyunjin never finished school, no one would accept even the objectively least dangerous boy from that high school. 

He locked his bike and took off his helmet. He shook his hair out and spotted the old sofa that stood on the rooftop since what felt like the beginning of times. 

It looked even worse now, as someone had dragged it across the parking lot, away from the little roof close to the stairs. The original colour wasn"t even discernible anymore and springs were visible. Hyunjin vaguely related to the sofa. 

He went to the railing of the parking lot, climbed a bit on it and spread his arms, holding himself on the railing with his feet. 

Wind blew through his hair and over the endless fields of weeds below and beyond. 

A few years ago, Minho would"ve stood behind him, never getting close to the railing of the rooftop, voice ringing in Hyunjin"s ears about how dangerous climbing onto this thing was. Hyunjin never cared. He still didn"t care, but now it hurt. 

A wet drop landed on his face and Hyunjin looked up to check if it was raining, but the sky was blue. He brushed away the tear with his sleeve, rubbing too hard on his skin. 

He wouldn"t cry. Not for that bastard. 

The sound of a heavy steel door startled Hyunjin awake. He was still on the rooftop, sitting with his back to the railing. The person hadn"t seen him yet. The way the other walked and pulled out his cigarettes… 

Hyunjin became smaller, hiding in the shadow. Minho lit his cigarette and leaned against the old sofa.

Hyunjin hadn"t seen him up here since they had parted ways. He was fairly sure no one except stray cats -

Oh, of course Minho would come here, why had Hyunjin never even considered that. When they were still in school he would bring fish and water for the cats, one of them even followed him home. 

He couldn"t keep sitting there, otherwise it would become even more awkward when Minho noticed him. 

So he stretched his legs and got up, and hit his head on the railing.

The metallic sound rang in his ears and he held his head as he straightened himself up. 

Minho was staring at Hyunjin. Mouth open, cigarette burning low.

"The fuck, man?" Minho yelled over. Then: "You okay?" 

Hyunjin gave him a lopsided smile, still holding his head. He quickly checked his hand for blood. Nothing. What luck.

"Yeah."

Minho walked over, slowly, a swagger in his step. Hyunjin wanted to punch him. 

"You"re pretty far away from your gang, baby." Minho said and drew on his cigarette. 

Hyunjin flinched at the pet name. 

"Don"t call me that."

Minho just blew the smoke into Hyunjin"s face. Hyunjin"s eyes stung. 

"You liked it so much, back then." Minho put a hand to Hyunjin"s waist, drawing him closer. Hyunjin stumbled into him, no defense whatsoever. Minho flicked the cigarette away, this time blowing the smoke away from Hyunjin.  

Hyunjin didn"t know what to say to that. 

Minho was a little smaller, but no matter what circumstance, he made Hyunjin feel like a midget. 

Minho brushed a hand through Hyunjin"s hair, his eyes betraying his composure. They flickered, and he blinked. 

"Don"t touch me, Minho." Hyunjin spat his name.

"So you do still have a voice."

"Fuck you." Hyunjin grabbed Minho"s wrist and yanked it away from him. 

Minho gaped at him. "I"m trying?"

"Oh god, Minho." Hyunjin rubbed his hands into his eyes. He really didn"t want to deal with that now.

"Keep saying my name and I might lose my self-restraint." Minho grinned, obviously the act was back in place. Or was he serious? Hyunjin couldn"t tell anymore. The person in front of him was just so different from the person he had loved. He just wanted to cry. Just not in front of him. 

"You wouldn"t. Not here. You-" 

Minho grabbed his hips forcefully and crashed Hyunjin"s crotch into his. 

"You don"t know me all that well, hm?"

"Stop, you"re hurting m-"

Minho pressed his lips to Hyunjin"s, rough and strong. Hyunjin pressed his own lips together, trying to deny Minho. Minho"s hands went to Hyunjin"s ass and he squeezed. His hands still fit perfectly. Hyunjin gasped, involuntarily, and Minho used the opportunity to shove his tongue into Hyunjin"s mouth. Minho licked over Hyunjin"s teeth, making the gum tingle, then over his palate and then Hyunjin"s knees gave in. 

Minho"s grip on his waist held Hyunjin up, but Minho broke the kiss. 

"Fuck-" Hyunjin pressed out between thin lips. His eyes couldn"t find a clear focus as he tried to hold back tears.

"Yeah. Let me-"

"That"s not what i meant. You know that." Hyunjin heaved. His head was still processing what had happened. 

Hyunjin struggled free of Minho"s grasp and speed walked over the rooftop to his bike.

"Hyunjin, let"s meet at the building you"re trying to buy!" Minho yelled after him.

"Bastard!"

"Then call me? If you want weak knees again!"

Hyunjin put on his helmet and started his motorcycle. His hands were still a bit shaky and he had trouble inserting the key. 

Minho stood, staring at the pavement, one hand to his hips. 

"You"re not better than them. " Hyunjin yelled over the engine sound, hoping that it drowned out the shaking in his voice.

Minho looked up and stared. Hyunjin watched him in his rear mirror as he guided his motorcycle to the ramp down.

Hyunjin lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling, old memories bubbling up. The first time he saw Minho, in middle school, how they sat next to each other in school but rarely talked. They weren"t even really friends.

Then Highschool. Hyunjin had let his hair grow out to rebel against his mother, but it had gotten him the wrong attention. 

He stuffed his books under his table and leaned back. The summer sun was hot, the air condition working hard against it. He opened the top buttons of his shirt and used some paper as a fan. The heat was unbearable. 

The rooftop might offer a breeze, so Hyunjin made his way up the steps, his white shirt almost see through from his sweat. It clung to his skin at his abs and arms. 

The wind on the rooftop was only cooling a little…

A hand grabbed his waist from behind, another went to his mouth. Hot breath hit Hyunjin"s nape as someone pressed his ass into - No, no no no, this couldn"t be happening. Hyunjin thrashed, tried to free himself, but there was a second pair of arms holding him steady. No matter how good of a fighter you are, the element of surprise would almost certainly lose you a fight against two people. 

Hyunjin was pushed into the concrete, the side of his face scratching over little pebbles that left tiny wounds in his cheekbone. He wanted to yell for help, but air was knocked out of him as the first kick landed close to his solar plexus. He coughed. 

"Hold his hands together," the one behind Hyunjin demanded of the other. Hyunjin recognised the voice of an upperclassman. 

"Please no-" Hyunjin"s voice shook.

A belt buckle opened. Hyunjin"s arms were forced behind his back. The person half sat on him, pressing Hyunjin"s body into the ground. 

A belt wrapped around his wrists, pulling them together and cutting into his skin. Hyunjin sobbed. 

"Hel-"

His scream got cut off by a kick into his back, forcing him on the concrete so hard, breathing became difficult. 

The big weight from his back vanished, but a boot was still rammed between his shoulder blades, making it impossible to get up. 

His pants were pulled down forcefully along with his boxershorts. Hyunjin struggled against the belt at his wrist but it was tied strong, withstanding even the biggest force Hyunjin could conjure. 

Another belt clacked open and a zipper sounded through the air. It was as if all Hyunjin"s senses had been amplified by a thousand, except his sight. All he could see was blurry concrete and a foot close by his head.

A rough hand pulled his ass apart. Hyunjin tried screaming but the other boy pressed his shoe into his backside. 

Something wet, hard prodded at his entrance. 

"Please, no-"

"Shut up, why won"t it go in?" The question was evidently for the other boy.

"You idiot, that"s not a pussy. You need"a stretch him firs"."

Hyunjin"s tears flowed. His shoulders were hurting, his wrists were hurting. He was scared for the first time in his life. 

"Like, with something wet. And ya fingers." 

"How do you know that shit?"

"Basic sex ed you fucktard." 

Weird way to say you liked to watch gay porn. 

Hyunjin"s brain was going crazy with fear apparently. Joking was not a way out of this situation. Should he give in and let them have their way? Should he try yelling again?

He struggled against the belt one more time when something wet and sticky was poured all over his ass. Two fingers pushed into Hyunjin"s rectum and he tried kicking up with his feet, hitting air. The fingers burned inside of him, pain clouding his thoughts. He felt as if his ass was going numb, yet the stinging sensation wouldn"t leave.

Sharp bones pushed into his thighs and feet held his legs down. 

The fingers had a relentless pace and Hyunjin was sure he was about to split open. The fingers retreated and Hyunjin sobbed. Everything hurt. He wanted to yell but he had no strength left. 

The weight on his shoulders was lifted, but only because the other dude must"ve been sure Hyunjin wouldn"t move. The dude knelt in front of Hyunjin"s face and opened his pants, taking out his dick. Gall rose in Hyunjin"s throat. He just wanted to puke. The guy started jerking himself off, forcing Hyunjin"s chin up with the other hand. Hyunjin pressed his eyes closed. 

Pain shot through him as the boy behind him pressed what Hyunjin suspected was his dick into his asshole. Hyunjin couldn"t even scream because the hand on his chin held his mouth in check. Tears flowed down his cheeks as the man penetrated him slowly, every millimetre hurting Hyunjin more. 

The door to the rooftop crashed open and Hyunjin heard footsteps. One Person, evidently angry by the way their shoes impacted the ground. The two other students had stopped any movement. 

Hyunjin heard a punch, bones cracking. The pressure on his backside was gone and he immediately curled up into a shrimp position, crying uncontrollably. His surroundings became a haze.

Hyunjin didn"t know how long exactly he had laid there crying. But soft hands removed the belt and massaged over his wrists, pulled up his boxers and pants. 

His tears were wiped away and Hyunjin opened his eyes. 

"I"m here, it"s okay now." Minho tried a smile as he wiped away even more tears.

"It"s okay, they won"t do this again."

Hyunjin shook. Nothing was okay, but what exactly was one to say in such a situation. 

Minho sat him up on his knees by his armpits and kneeled in front of him. 

"I"ll get you to the hospital." 

Hyunjin shook his head. That would end up with questions to which he didn"t have answers. He grabbed onto Minho"s t-shirt. 

"Okay, then the showers." Minho grabbed him by his hips. "Up we go."

Hyunjin didn"t have any strength left in his legs and fell into Minho before he had even stood up entirely. 

Minho carried him all the way to the showers, five long flights of stairs and across part of the school grounds, but Hyunjin didn"t even register. He buried his face in Minho"s t-shirt, staining it with tears. 

The shower stall was colder than the scorching heat outside. Minho put Hyunjin down and was about to turn away, Hyunjin grabbed his ankle

"Please-"

Minho squatted down in front of him. "I"m not going, I just-"

Hyunjin started crying. 

"Okay, okay, i didn"t know if you wanted some privacy."

"I can"t even stand..." Hyunjin"s tears were flowing, his voice weak.

Minho sucked in a breath. He hadn"t been prepared for a situation like this. Who would have?

He stretched his arm to the faucet and laid his hand on it. "This is going to be cold, I"m sorry."

"It"s fine." Hyunjin was looking at the tiles where he had rested his hands on. 

Minho turned on the water and the air was knocked out of Hyunjin"s lungs. He coughed and looked at Minho like a drenched poodle.

Minho, who sat with him under the ice cold shower. Minho, who helped him undress as he clung to his body. Minho, who didn"t even look at him as if he wanted something from Hyunjin, he was just there to give. 

"These fuckers used sunscreen so we need to get that out of your ass, can you…" Minho"s voice trailed off as he looked at Hyunjin. Hyunjin"s long hair was sticking to his face.

Minho inhaled. "Can you lean forward? I"ll do it."

Hyunjin steadied himself against Minho"s shoulders and laid his head on one of them. More tears were streaming down his face, at the pure kindness that radiated off Minho. How he carefully but pointedly willed his hand to do something and touch somewhere…

Hyunjin was crying, still staring at the ceiling of his apartment. Minho wasn"t like them. 

Minho wasn"t like them. 

Like a mantra he rotated the words in his head until none even had meaning anymore. He curled up, hugged his knees to his chest. He should"ve just gone on gang duty tonight. 

The laundromat was empty in the early morning hours. Hyunjin sat at the table in the middle of the room and read a manhwa, about a young man becoming a ballerina. He hadn"t slept at all last night, his eyes were puffy in his mirror image in the window. 

Ryu and Yang had gotten into a small brawl with neighbourhood ruffians last night so Hyunjin had offered to watch the shop. Letting his people rest meant having their trust and, at best, healthy people. 

Watching the shop wasn"t really that necessary, the machines worked with coin slots, but having someone around never was a bad idea. 

Hyunjin laid his head on the table and paged through his manhwa. Outside, students were rushing past the shop to their morning lectures. A group of girls bowed to him and he smiled back. Not long ago they had been harassed by a group of businessmen in one of the popular metro exits. Hyunjin and Jeongin had provided enough distraction to save them. And by distraction Hyunjin meant his shoe in some testicles. 

He lazily slurped on his coffee that would"ve tasted pretty bad, if not for the sugar he had dumped into it. He preferred it with milk and honey but that shit was just so expensive. 

Time wouldn"t pass. Hyunjin was on his third coffee and it wasn"t even ten yet. 

At last a few sleepy students had come to wash their clothes, but the day seemed too calm, compared to all the stuff that had happened yesterday. 

He was on volume 13 by noon, running out of reading material, but the bookshop around the corner always took a lunch break.

Hyunjin sorted the books into the shelf at the free wall of the little room and stepped out of the laundromat. The late spring breeze ruffled his hair and he quickly wrestled it into a scrunchie.

As he turned the corner, a foreign car, probably German, maybe French, held pace with him. An orange keychain dangled from the mirror inside the car. 

Hyunjin flipped them off and laughed, the car sped ahead. Damn those rich kids, but at least they brought money to his business. During the day, driving through Hongdae was fine, as long as one looked out for the university students walking carelessly on the streets. At night it was so packed, driving a car through took longer than walking.

Hyunjin opened the door to his favourite homemade korean restaurant when he saw someone running to him. He stopped, the door halfway open still in his hand. 

Jeongin was panting hard, catching his breath. "They"re selling."

"What? Jeongin, calm down first."

Jeongin sank to the pavement. "Okay, hah, the house at the border to Minho"s. They"re selling. To us."

Hyunjin thought he hadn"t heard right. " Us?"

after minho had gone through blackmailing the owner? very unlikely. unless something had happened.

Hyunjin"s head spun. "We"re buying. Get Ryu, get the money."

Jeongin heaved himself up again and ran off again, the metal chain hanging from his belt clanking with every step. 

Hyunjin took a breath. And then raced to his motorcycle. 

The deal went oddly smooth. No one in the back rooms of the building, no one hidden in the alleys. Not even Minho"s boys patrolling the turf. Hyunjin had a bad feeling. 

Nothing he could explain. It was just too easy after Minho had put up such a fuss about it. Especially because it was a good location. Not only because they basically sat on Hyunjin"s turf but because the building was perfect for secret gambling rooms and illegal red light work Minho had all over Sinchon. 

Compared to Hyunjin, Minho"s reach was big. He controlled all the neighbourhoods of Seodaemun that bordered on Hongdae, and a few going down to the river. His reach went from Yondae all the way past Hongik Uni. Eating up Hongdae would"ve been no problem had Hyunjin not the Orange Tribe full of rich kids that just threw money everywhere. 

Hyunjin held the key in his fist and pressed until his hand started hurting. 

Something wasn"t right, and his uncertainty made him shake.

Seoyun looked out of place in the chic cafe. The young women studying at the table next to them stole glances over from time to time. 

The cafe owner, clad in heels, a soft pink skirt that made it look like her waist was thin and a white frilly blouse brought them their coffee. Hyunjin knew about the two daggers on each thigh, strapped securely but easy to reach, under the skirt that played around her knees with each step. She had a high ponytail and a gazillion of pink ribbons in her light brown hair. A long pin stuck in the base of the ponytail, a character from an anime dangling at one end, the other end sharp enough to stab a person. 

Sooyoung placed a black coffee mug in front of Seoyun, there was so much cream it spilled over the edge and a strawberry sat on top. 

"Coffee with Milk and Honey, it"s ordered so rarely that i didn"t bother putting it on the menu," Sooyoung smiled as she placed the mug with pink hearts next to Hyunjin. 

"It"s on the house. Since you made my girlfriend show her face in this cafe for once." Sooyoung winked at Hyunjin and he jokingly shook his shoulders. Seoyun hid her red face behind her coffee, just not very effectively. 

Hyunjin saw her eyes follow Sooyoung as she went to sit behind the register and picked up the gameboy she had left on it. 

He felt strangely safe, even though no bulky men with muscles were around. Then again, he was sitting in the cafe of the woman who controlled the entire Idae area. Sooyoung held strong against Minho the past two years. He had tried more than once to get her to join forces, but she declined - and could do so without being overrun. Their connection had turned to the positive, Minho could walk through Idae without being stabbed, and Sooyoung helped his girls that wanted to get out of prostitution back into society. Hyunjin had watched all this from the sidelines, it wasn"t really his place to get involved when they fought.

Hyunjin stared out of the glass front of the cafe, into the little alley it was wedged in. Seoyun was busy looking at her girl anyways so a conversation was useless. 

Hyunjin lifted his coffee mug to his lips. It tasted exactly like the first time he had tried it. As if Sooyoung used the same recipe. 

>>>>

"Hyunjin, do you like coffee?" Minho asked. They sat in his bedroom, playing video games. Minho"s hair was wet. He had showered earlier because he had managed to get into yet another fight on their way home. 

Hyunjin watched how the strands behaved so differently as when his hair was dry. 

"I think. It"s just very bitter." Hyunjin had stopped paying attention to the game when Minho had started talking and his character died. 

"I"ll make us some, I know you"re gonna like this!" Minho grabbed Hyunjin"s hand in excitement but immediately let go again. Hyunjin looked at his hand, then at Minho, whose ears had turned a soft red. 

"Sorry, I always forget you don"t like people touching you." Minho stood up, slightly off balance and left the room.

Hyunjin followed him to the kitchen.

"You know, it"s not that i hate being touched…" Hyunjin"s voice was quiet.

Minho turned on the coffee machine and put two mugs on the counter. Hyunjin sat down in his designated seat, where he always sat and watched Minho cook ramen or pour them some juice. 

"You always flinch when people do it though." Minho sat down at the other side of the table as he waited for their coffee.

"It"s because I don"t… This is hard to explain." Hyunjin brushed through his hair and stared at the pattern on the tablecloth. 

"Try. I"m not that stupid, I might understand." Minho"s smile was blinding. At least to Hyunjin. And his eyes were insanely beautiful and Hyunjin wanted to hit him for being so pretty because it flustered him every time Minho so much as looked at him for too long. 

"Well… I don"t like most people that touch me."

"That makes sense. I don"t like that either, sometimes it can"t be helped though. But your reaction is so strong. Earlier when that senior -"

"I don"t know him so i don"t know if I like him…" By now Hyunjin had made out where the pattern repeated. 

Minho got up, the coffee was done. He filled both cups halfway, then poured a ridiculous amount of milk that made Hyunjin gasp. He took out a jar of honey, took a teaspoon full and stirred the coffee with it. Hyunjin watched in amazement as he did it again. The golden honey dripped into the coffee just before it vanished in it.

Minho took the cups and walked over, placing the slightly bigger one in front of Hyunjin.

It tasted like heaven. The bitterness was still there, but the honey and milk gave a sweet note making it bearable. 

Hyunjin put down his cup and laid his hand on the table. 

"Touch my hand, Minho."

Minho looked at him from behind his cup. He moved his hand. Stopped. Then, as if not wanting to break expensive porcelain, he put his fingertips to the back of Hyunjin"s hand. 

Hyunjin looked at their hands for a second. Warmth spread from Minho"s fingers, probably from the warm coffee he had just held. 

"I won"t flinch when you touch me."

Minho took Hyunjin"s entire hand. Looked up at Hyunjin, probably to check his reaction. Hyunjin just smiled.

"I was so worried. I mean, I"m not a super touchy person, but i still didn"t want to make you suffer so I tried to touch you as little as possible."

"Minho, it"s okay. You"re the only one I would trust with my entire body." Hyunjin said the words before he registered how embarrassing they were. Heat rose in his ears and he took a sip of coffee to hide it. 

Minho caressed Hyunjin"s hand with his thumb instead of answering. 

Hyunjin stole a glance over his mug. Minho"s ears were cherry red.

>>>> 1992

Hyunjin still felt the ghost of a touch on his skin as he drank his coffee. He didn"t have a problem being touched anymore, seeked it out himself even, yet he held these memories close to his heart. 

When Hyunjin came home, the anxiety he had earlier drowned in Honeymilk Coffee crashed down on him. His heart rate sped up, his palms became sweaty and he barely made it to his bed. His bed was too large for him alone, at least he always thought that. He only lay curled up close to the wall, the rest of the king size bed unused. Minho had bought it for him when he had moved out. And then Minho spent almost more time in that bed than the owner. Hyunjin smiled to himself at the memories, but they soon left him with an emptiness in his chest. 

Just why was this bed so big?

Hyunjin woke at the first sunlight, checked his alarm clock and wanted to go back to sleep when he remembered his dream. Old memories mixed with current desires…? He had dreamt of his first time with Minho, but it was slightly off. In his dream, Minho had been rough, forced Hyunjin, yet his words and eyes were the same as Hyunjin remembered. Hyunjin shook to get the weird feeling off that made his nerve ends tingle. Minho had been kind and loving until that thing happened, although they often bickered like an eldery couple. Hyunjin couldn"t believe at first that Minho was breaking up with him to join an organisation they had vowed to destroy. His thoughts circled back to the sex dream and his dick stood at attention. Where on the loss of self respect scale lay "jerking off to your ex-boyfriend now rival gangleader"? 

>>

The fight with the boys from the other school had been rough. 

Hyunjin tried to put ointment on the wound on Minho"s cheek but he jolted every time Hyunjin touched him with the cotton ball. Minho was already done patching up Hyunjin"s arm, still holding onto it like a buoy on the sea.

Minho winced.

"Oh will you hold still I don"t want your pretty face to have a scar." Hyunjin grabbed Minho"s chin and forced him to look into his eyes. 

Minho"s eyes sparkled. "Pretty? You just said I"m pretty…"

"Should I have said handsome?" Hyunjin wrinkled his forehead. 

"No- Ah. Damn that hurts."

"Yes, but I"m almost done so be a big boy and hold still."

Minho bit his lip when Hyunjin finished cleaning the wound. Hyunjin pulled the plastic off a bandaid and aimed the bandaid so it covered the majority of the wound on Minho"s cheekbone. Hyunjin pulled his hands back but Minho held his wrists. 

"Call me pretty again." Minho pouted. Hyunjin"s heart skipped a beat. 

"P-Pretty," Hyunjin stammered and avoided eye contact by looking at the shelf behind Minho where his video game collection stood. 

"Hyunjin, you"re beautiful."

Hyunjin yanked his head to look at Minho. Heat rose in his cheeks and he wanted to hide but Minho still held onto his hands. Hyunjin just gaped at him.

"Is that such a shock to you?" Minho laughed and placed a kiss on one of Hyunjin"s bruised hands. He closed his eyes.

"I…" Hyunjin didn"t have words. His heart beat so fast and so loud, he couldn"t hear his own thoughts. 

Minho kissed the other hand and Hyunjin startled so hard he pulled his hands away with too much force. 

Minho"s eyes were full of hurt. He turned away. "I"m so sorry Hyunjin, I shouldn"t have done that."

"No, don"t be." Hyunjin extended his arm, placed his hand on Minho"s cheek and guided his chin to look at him again. Hyunjin leaned forward and his thigh hurt from a strong kick that had landed on it earlier, but he ignored it. His other hand went into Minho"s hair, deep, cradling his head, Hyunjin felt Minho"s scalp. 

Minho"s hands instinctively went to Hyunjin"s hips and dug into his flesh lightly. 

Hyunjin scooted forward and Minho pulled him skillfully into his lap. A thousand questions crashed over Hyunjin, but at last, the Butt Hunter nickname Minho had gotten from the older boys made actual sense. Somehow Hyunjin hadn"t ever witnessed Minho picking up someone for...

Minho breathed in Hyunjin"s scent, freshly showered with Minho"s products. 

Hyunjin felt so clumsy as he pressed his lips to Minho"s, but soon, Minho took control over the kiss. Minho lightly bit on Hyunjin"s lower lip and he parted his lips. Minho licked on Hyunjin"s tongue, careful at first, but when Hyunjin sighed into the kiss he became more intense. 

Hyunjin"s hands lay on Minho"s nape, playing with the hair that reached there. Minho"s long silver earring was cold on Hyunjin"s arm. 

Minho pulled him close, arms wrapped around him, hands brushing over his back. Hyunjin felt like melting.

Minho leaned into Hyunjin, making him fall backwards, but Minho"s hands were there to stop him. Minho laid him on the floor, still holding the kiss. 

Hyunjin became awfully aware how close their crotches were and how just a kiss had made him rock hard. 

Minho"s hands wandered down Hyunjin"s sides, leaving tingles where he touched. Hyunjin pulled him closer by his neck. 

Minho broke the kiss suddenly and laid his forehead against Hyunjin"s. 

"You"re so beautiful Hyunjin." Minho moved his hand through Hyunjin"s bleached hair all the way to his collar bone. 

Hyunjin didn"t answer. He was busy trying not to explode from a racing heart.

"Sorry, I didn"t even ask if it"s okay to -"

"It"s you, so it"s okay. It"s just… I don"t… Technically I"m a virgin. I"ve never done this." Hyunjin closed his eyes, preparing himself for Minho letting go of him. Instead, a pleasant weight laid on his chest. Minho had lowered himself to hug Hyunjin.

Hyunjin moved his arms and legs around Minho"s body. 

"That"s fine, baby." Minho nudged Hyunjin"s cheek with his nose. "I thought you had a girlfriend a while ago though?"

"Not really?  We never officially dated, she figured out she likes women." Hyunjin laughed. 

"Oh, well…" Minho tried to suppress the laughter at first. "I mean… If you heard what the boys say about you."

"I know, i know. I just ignore it. I"m still very sure I am a man."

No one in the gang dared touch him. One, because he was one of the strongest fighters and two, everyone who laid even so much as a finger on Hyunjin was met with Minho"s rage. 

Hyunjin thought ahead of himself and a shiver ran down his spine at the prospect of what they were about to do.

"Hey, are you alright?" Minho"s eyes were searching his face for answers.

Hyunjin nodded. "Yeah, just a… reality check from my brain."

Minho placed his hand on Hyunjin"s cheek and caressed it. "We don"t need to go further if you don"t want to."

Hyunjin gasped. "No, I-"

He was interrupted by a sob, tears pooling at his eyes and he wanted to hit himself for being such a crybaby.

"Shhh, it"s okay. I won"t do more than this." Minho lowered his head and kissed away a tear that ran down Hyunjin"s face.

"It"s not that i- that i don"t want it." Hyunjin took a deep shaky breath. "I"m scared it"s going to hurt."

"Oh, oh my god, sweetheart," Minho pressed a kiss to Hyunjin"s forehead and held his face.

Hyunjin blushed so hard at the term of endearment he wondered how there was still enough blood in his dick to be so hard. 

"We don"t need to… I don"t need to, you know… You could also…" Minho breathed out. "You could top me. If you like."

"No, that"s not what i meant. I like it this way. It"s just, a dick is way more than my fingers." 

Had the situation not been so serious Hyunjin was sure they would"ve laughed at that statement. 

Minho was silent for a moment and then sat up. "Let"s move to the bed, hm?" 

He extended a hand and helped Hyunjin up, pulled him into a hug and maneuvered them to the bed. Not one of his touches felt like Hyunjin was being handled by the leader of the local gang. The bed was soft, clean, unlike what Hyunjin thought was a teenager"s bed. Then again, Minho had been living quasi alone for some time, probably did the majority of the house work to let his mother rest when she came from her shifts at the hospital. 

Minho was older, would turn 20 soon, but Hyunjin felt like Minho was mature enough to lead his own life. Hyunjin depended on him for so many things.

Minho pressed a kiss to Hyunjin"s neck and sucked. Hyunjin gasped at the unexpected pleasure. 

Minho"s hand wandered under his shirt, palms flat so Minho was touching as much skin as possible. Minho"s finger brushed over Hyunjin"s nipple and a million nerve endings responded. Hyunjin hadn"t known he could feel that much from his nipples only. He hid his face in the crook of his arm as he moaned softly. Minho shoved his shirt up and kissed the areola of one of his nipples before licking it. The wet feeling made Hyunjin"s nipples hard and he arched into Minho to feel it again. Minho sucked on the hard nipple and Hyunjin mewled. He didn"t even know he could make that sound. Minho twirled the other nipple between his fingers before switching. 

"Ah, Hyung…" Hyunjin gasped when Minho nibbled on the sensitive area. 

Minho sat up, the sensation on Hyunjin"s nipples still lingered. Minho removed his shirt, his abs defined. A scar ran across them. Hyunjin lifted himself a bit and felt over the scar. It was healed well. When they were rookies in the gang, Minho had gotten stabbed by a knife during a fight. Thankfully it wasn"t super deep and the attacker had missed any vital organs, but the week Minho had to spend at the hospital was a reminder of his mortality. At least he got to see his mother more often than usual. 

Minho helped Hyunjin remove his t-shirt and pushed him back down into the mattress. Hyunjin watched as Minho opened his pants and stood to pull them down with his boxers. He had seen Minho naked before, skinny dipping in the lake close by was their favourite thing to do in summer. He"d just never seen him erect. Hyunjin gulped and willed his eyes up to Minho"s face. A soft smile and, was it adoration that lay in his eyes? Minho stole Hyunjin"s socks and threw them through the room before he unclasped Hyunjin"s belt and opened his pants. He hooked his hands into the waistbands of Hyunjin"s boxers and pants and looked at Hyunjin. 

"You gotta lift your ass a bit." Minho looked amused.

Hyunjin moved his ass up and let Minho undress him, trying hard not to become self conscious. 

When Minho bent down and placed a kiss on Hyunjin"s dick, Hyunjin"s brain short circuited. He hid his face behind his hands as he moaned. Minho licked along his shaft and Hyunjin could feel his penis leak precum. 

"Minho, I-"

Whatever Hyunjin wanted to say, his thoughts and words were interrupted by Minho lifting Hyunjin"s hips and pushing a pillow under them. 

Minho felt under his bed and pulled a box from under it. A bottle of lube, condoms, a vibrator, furry handcuffs, a stack of magazines… Hyunjin couldn"t take in all of the things at once. Minho grabbed the lube and a condom and pushed the box back under the bed.

Hyunjin looked at Minho"s face and then at the lube in his hand and realised it was the same brand he bought. 

"If it"s too much, say stop and I"ll stop immediately." Minho said and climbed between Hyunjin"s legs.

"Okay." Hyunjin"s heart must"ve relocated to his head. He couldn"t form a single thought over how loud his heart was beating. 

"Do you want to prepare yourself?"

"Y-You should do it. If you want?"

"Absolutely." Minho licked his lips and kissed Hyunjin until they were both panting, reaching for  breath. 

The clack of the lube bottle sent tingles down Hyunjin"s spine and he held on to Minho"s nape so he would continue kissing him. Minho poured lube onto his fingers without looking and a few drops landed on Hyunjin"s thigh. He shivered at the cold fluid on his skin.

Hyunjin was clinging to Minho"s lips, Minho licked his tongue licking over Hyunjin"s and Hyunjin"s dick twitched. A warm feeling spread in his lower region. 

One of Minho"s hands went to Hyunjin"s waist, holding him steady, as he pushed a lubed finger against Hyunjin"s entrance.  

Hyunjin jolted at the touch. In the end, someone else doing it was entirely different. Minho squeezed his hip and rubbed his thumb into Hyunjin"s skin, Hyunjin"s breathing calmed down.

Minho pushed a finger in, and broke the kiss. Hyunjin looked at his eyes, steady dark brown, reassuringly calm. 

Hyunjin gasped when Minho pushed a second finger in. His head fell back and he shut his eyes, feeling the fingers move inside. Minho"s pace wasn"t fast, he was concentrating on stretching Hyunjin. Minho curled his fingers, searching around and Hyunjin wrinkled his forehead. Minho found his good spot and pressed lightly and Hyunjin saw stars, biting on his lip to hold back a moan. He had shot quite a load onto himself, his cum sticking to his skin. Hyunjin moved his arms over his eyes. 

Minho"s hair tickled the skin on his chest and Hyunjin startled as Minho licked in long streaks over his torso, gathering the sperm.

"Ha- Hyung, that"s embarrassing." 

Minho sat on his heels between Hyunjin"s legs and Hyunjin stole a glance at him. With his thumb Minho gathered some cum that had smeared on his cheek and moved it to his lips. Hyunjin thought passing out would be a good idea.

Minho smiled at Hyunjin who looked at him through his fingers.

"You taste good."

Hyunjin shoved his foot flat against Minho"s abs.  "Stop making fun of me."

Minho"s eyes went wide. "Shit, that wasn"t my intention. I"m sorry."

He leaned forward and moved Hyunjin"s hands out of his face to place a kiss just next to his lips. And another kiss on his cheekbone, his jaw, throat. Minho lightly sucked on the skin over Hyunjin"s collar bone.

"Minho, I-" Hyunjin"s ass felt empty, but how was one to say that?

Minho stopped and looked at him. Minho had one hand pressed into the mattress next to Hyunjin"s chest, the other one… Minho was stroking himself and Hyunjin blushed. 

"I"m sorry i already came."

"Don"t worry about it." Minho"s eyes were soft, so unlike when they were with others. Hyunjin secretly had named this look in his eyes the "Hyunjin gaze", because he had never seen it any time else. How selfish of Hyunjin. 

"You can…" Heat rose in Hyunjin"s face and he spread his hands over his face, looking over his fingertips at Minho. "You can put it in."

Minho"s eyes flickered. He pressed a kiss onto Hyunjin"s chest and then came back up to look into his eyes.

"Tell me as soon as it hurts okay."

Hyunjin nodded, still hiding most of his face. 

Minho opened the condom wrapper and for a second Hyunjin thought his hands were shaking. Hyunjin followed Minho"s every movement. How he rolled the condom over his dick and stroked himself a few times, leaning back on his heels. Hyunjin had watched quite a lot of porn, but nothing even compared to Minho quite obviously putting on a bit of a show. Minho poured some lube over his dick, smeared it around and aligned himself with Hyunjin"s ass. One hand spread Hyunjin"s cheeks apart, with the other, Minho guided the tip of his dick past Hyunjin"s rim. 

Hyunjin sucked in a breath. It didn"t hurt yet.

"You have to breathe really well, baby, it hurts less." 

Hyunjin nodded, his eyes trained on Minho"s strong thighs quivering at holding still in the post he was in and how Minho"s dick was inside of him . Minho held onto Hyunjin"s waist and slowly pushed. Hyunjin tried to control his breathing but every so often a moan escaped him. He could feel his insides stretching, clenching to Minho at first, and then loosen up. There wasn"t really pain, but the stretch was such a new feeling for Hyunjin he couldn"t help but moan with every bit that Minho pushed further. 

Hyunjin was so overwhelmed by his emotions he didn"t even register he started to cry. Only when Minho stopped his movements and wiped away his tears did Hyunjin got his brain back into reality.

"Does it hurt? Do I need to stop?" 

Hyunjin shook his head. "No don"t stop. Give me all." Hyunjin pressed a kiss to Minho"s palm and Minho pushed stronger this time. He adjusted Hyunjin"s legs over his thighs to go deeper. Hyunjin huffed into the pillow under his head. Minho groaned and Hyunjin"s dick twitched. Minho sighed when he bottomed out and let Hyunjin adjust to him. Sweat ran down his temples and his chest. 

Minho rubbed his thumbs over Hyunjin"s nipples. Hyunjin arched into the touch, canting his hips and his eyes went wide as Minho"s dick pressed at his good spot. He gasped, breathless all of a sudden. Minho held his hips in place.

Minho held eye contact as he moved his hips, pulling out a little and pushing back in. Hyunjin bit his finger to drown his moans. 

Minho picked a steady but relatively slow pace, hitting Hyunjin spot. Hyunjin huffed and clamped down on Minho every time Minho"s dick put pressure on it. Minho"s breathing became heavier. He reached for Hyunjin ankle and brought his leg up, leaving kisses on Hyunjin"s calf. Minho thrust even deeper than before. Hyunjin"s head was spinning. He was drooling into the pillow and couldn"t stop moaning. He had given up on suppressing them.

"Hyunjin I"m close." Minho nuzzled into Hyunjin"s calf, his hair tickling Hyunjin"s skin.

"Mmmm too." Hyunjin couldn"t even speak properly, his entire brain clouded by how good he felt. 

Minho leaned forward, bending Hyunjin"s leg with him. His face was just centimetres away from Hyunjin"s. 

Minho"s gaze was so intense, unwavering, full of desire. Hyunjin was being eaten alive by those eyes.

"So deep, Hyunnnnnnng." Hyunjin came, grabbing onto Minho"s neck for support. Minho moaned into his ear and thrust into Hyunjin again and again, chasing his own release. Hyunjin"s insides clamped around him. Hyunjin was still spilling semen onto his abs as he kissed Minho, hands pulling on his hair. Minho"s hips stuttered and stilled and Hyunjin felt weird. Minho pulled out, got rid of the condom and jerked the rest of his cum onto Hyunjin"s tummy. 

Hyunjin felt as if there were no bones left in his body. Minho heaved himself up and off the bed.

"I"ll get a towel."

Hyunjin stared at his hands, then at his belly, and then at the ceiling. His brain was full of nothing, a happy buzzing, not a single thought wanting to form. He wiped his drool on the pillow and sat up a little, careful not to get the sticky mess onto the sheets. It flowed sticky and slowly down. 

Minho had come back and rubbed the wet towel over Hyunjin"s abs and chest as he sat, butt naked and if it was the most casual thing ever, next to him.

Hyunjin couldn"t hold himself back, and with the last bit of strength he kissed Minho, as if he had starved. 

>>>>

1995

Hyunjin was angry at himself. He threw his keys up into the air and caught them again, trying to get rid of the restless energy inside of him. He had spent half the night jerking off, got barely any sleep and then his dreams had been of Minho. No thanks. He couldn"t really place where the emotion that gnawed slowly at him belonged. Was it bodily desire? Even after he had forced his tongue down Hyunjin"s throat?  Was it the Minho of the past to whom he was so attached? Minho wasn"t the same as two years ago. Hyunjin dug his fingernails into his palm just to feel something other than that stupid emotion. 

So far the new building hadn"t caused any problems, so Hyunjin had started planning a bar and a restaurant. 

Hyunjin wasn"t even hungry but still he walked into the packed sushi place. Rich students were chatting away, a few businessmen who already had finished work for the day were talking about yesterday"s baseball game. The owner greeted Hyunjin and gave him a plate of sushi before he had even ordered. Business had started to boom since the rich kids had recommended the place to their friends. And Takasaki-san"s sushi really was brilliant. 

Hyunjin ate a few, then left the restaurant again. He didn"t feel like being around people, so he walked through the side alleys of Hongdae, checking on a few shop owners.  Seoyun and Sooyoung sat in the laundromat, Sooyoung on Seoyun"s lap, playing gameboy while Seoyun coached her. Hyunjin bowed from outside as Sooyoung looked up from the game and greeted him with a smile. 

He could"ve had that. A relationship. Someone to play video games with. He only wanted Minho. 

He angrily kicked a can of coke and then quickly picked it up and threw it into recycling. 

Somehow his feet had brought him all the way to Sinchon. He stood in front of the Pajeon place, not exactly sure what he was doing. It was the stupidest thing ever to go in there alone, yet Hyunjin slid the door open. 

The kitchen help bowed and greeted him, then his eyes went wide as he recognised him. 

"I"m alone, don"t worry. Not here to hurt your boss." If at all, it was more likely Minho was going to hurt him.

Hyunjin walked to the door. He didn"t even know what he wanted there. 

He knocked and opened the door a bit. Minho"s voice was clear, he was talking on the phone. Hyunjin slipped into the room and leaned against the wall next to the door. 

Minho sat leaned back in his desk chair, feet on the desk, twirling the phone cord between his long fingers. His mouth fell open mid-word. Without a greeting he put the phone down, cutting the call. He left the phone next to the receiver? blocking incoming calls. 

"That"s kind of a surprise? What brings you here?" Minho"s eyes were cold. Icy. The "Hyunjin gaze" long gone. Hyunjin"s heart hurt, as if Minho was roasting it over open fire. 

Hyunjin avoided his gaze, turned his head to the side and placed his hand at his neck. His hair fell into his eyes.

"You came here to stare at my wall?" Minho got up and walked towards him.

Hyunjin turned to look at him, annoyed. 

"I can develop a photo of it if you like."

"Shut up." Hyunjin yelled. Minho"s voice was so different to back then, so cold, so mocking, the kindness he had shown Hyunjin buried deep in past memories. 

"The building. What"s up with that?" 

Minho stopped in his tracks. "Oh so you are here because of business."

"What else would i come for?" Sex. And Minho must have smelled it.

"Oh, well. Anyways. Got bored of the building." He waved his hand, an expensive watch lay snug on his wrist. His white shirt was partially unbuttoned. He looked more like a tired office worker than a gang leader, had it not been for the piercings in his ear, and the heavy duty chain at his hip. 

"You also got bored of your highschool boy?" Hyunjin regretted that the second it had left his lips. 

Minho narrowed his eyes and stepped closer, close enough for Hyunjin to strangle him. Hyunjin wouldn"t. Maybe in an emergency. No, he"d rather strangle himself first.

"You"re still wearing the necklace…" Minho"s eyes were trained on Hyunjin"s collarbones, his open white shirt allowing a little view, but not too much. The necklace was silver, a daisy with a missing petal hung from it and rested right in the middle where Hyunjin"s collar bones joined. Minho had given it to him on their first anniversary and Hyunjin hadn"t taken it off since. 

A fleeting motion, Hyunjin would have missed it had he blinked, Minho reached towards him. Then buried his hands in his deep pockets.The chain rattled. 

Something clicked in Hyunjin"s brain. He stretched his neck back, rolled his head against the wall, looking down on Minho. 

Minho stared. 

Good to know that still worked.

Hyunjin closed his eyes, grabbed his shirt, wrinkling it. It exposed the top of his boxer briefs and part of his abs.

"What the hell do you think you"re doing?" Minho"s voice was a low rumble, like a thunderstorm over Seoul. 

"Hah, we"re not fighting about the building anymore, so you might as well…" Hyunjin licked his lips and unbuttoned his shirt, his eyes not leaving Minho. 

Hyunjin let his hands wander over his chest. Minho still stood at the same spot, unmoving. 

Hyunjin pinched his nipples and arched his back, moaning softly. 

Minho took a step forward.

1992, late summer.

The rooftop of the carpark was quiet. The days were becoming colder again. The other boys had probably gone to pick up some girls in Seoul, but Hyunjin didn"t care as long as they didn"t get into a fight with a rival gang. The sofa by the roof was old, and Hyunjin wasn"t quite sure what kind of bacteria were growing in it, so he barely ever touched it. Minho and he had drank a little, sitting on the hard asphalt of the carpark, just some cardboard beneath them. Hyunjin leaned against Minho and intertwined their hands. Minho placed a kiss on Hyunjin"s head.

"Hey, wanna fuck?" Minho said and pulled Hyunjin closer.

"Here?" Hyunjin"s face was hot from the alcohol. His drinking tolerance was basically nonexistent. His dick nonetheless reacted.

"We did it at the lake and in the lake and-"

"Okay okay i get it," Hyunjin waved his hand. "I"m just worried in case the others show up."

Minho pulled him on his lap, his hands finding their usual place on Hyunjin"s hips. 

Minho brushed back Hyunjin"s hair from his neck and pressed a kiss to the skin. 

"I"d eat you in their presence any time." Minho"s breath was hot and sent shivers throughout Hyunjin"s body. Minho opened the buttons of Hyunjin"s shirt all the way down. Hyunjin never closed his top buttons unless he wanted to be annoying. 

"Don"t you think they"d stop taking orders from us?" Hyunjin wrinkled his forehead. 

"Hm, dunno. Holding eye contact with them while i make you cum… Isn"t that even more of a power display?"

Minho"s words went immediately to Hyunjin"s head, making his thoughts spin with fantasies. 

Minho"s hands were warm on Hyunjin"s chest. He brushed over Hyunjin"s nipples and made him jolt. Hyunjin moved his dick against Minho"s crotch, a calculated move. 

Minho kissed his chest, then mumbled, "Undress." 

Minho watches him through hooded eyes as he stood and opened his pants. With a rattling sound caused by his wallet chain it sank to the ground. Hyunjin swayed his hips as he removed his boxer briefs. Minho licked his lips and opened his pants. 

"Check my jacket pocket." Minho ordered as he stroked himself through his underwear. 

Hyunjin looked around and found the jacket on a crate not far from Minho. 

When he bent forward to go through the jacket pockets, Minho grabbed his ass and moved the hem of his shirt up. 

"Someone thought of me this morning..?" The smile in his voice was practically audible.

"What if i thought of that hot dude from Sechskies?" Hyunjin found the lotion in the jacket pocket and threw it into Minho"s lap. 

"Can"t be, I"m way hotter."

"Oh so we ate confidence for breakfast today?" Hyunjin mocked as he straddled Minho. 

Minho turned red and Hyunjin, smiling with this small victory, unbuttoned Minho"s shirt.

Bruises were forming on his abs and Hyunjin traced their outlines.

"Are you hurt?"

Minho smiled. Then brought his hands to his abdomen and bent to the side theatrically. "Oh, Hyunjin, it hurts so bad."

Hyunjin huffed a laugh. He rested his hand on Minho"s neck and immediately Minho"s hands went to Hyunjin"s ass, fingers spreading his cheeks. 

Hyunjin took Minho"s dick out of his underwear and stroked it to hardness?. He struggled to open the lotion with one hand and Minho removed one of his busy hands to open the bottlecap. 

The lotion was cool on Hyunjin"s fingers.

"This smells good." 

Minho moaned and his head fell back when Hyunjin spread the lotion over his dick, not missing to massage the head. 

He sat up a little and Minho went wide eyed. A questioning look on his face gave away his thoughts.

"I thought about you earlier." Hyunjin said and lowered himself on Minho"s dick.

Minho panted, his eyes still wide open, watching Hyunjin"s body. "Any philosophical findings?"

Hyunjin bottomed out and sighed. "You"re fucking hot."

"Good one." 

Hyunjin steadied himself on Minho"s shoulders and began a slow, deep rhythm. Minho"s eyes rolled back when Hyunjin circled his hips. 

"You spelling-"

Minho"s mobile phone rang. The midi sound cutting through the air. Hyunjin felt Minho"s dick twitch before Minho grinned and immediately had a semi bad feeling. 

"You answer. It"s Yang." Minho handed him the phone.

"No, that"s cruaahh." Hyunjin"s last word was disrupted by Minho thrusting upwards.

Hyunjin glared at him but still picked up the call. 

"It"s Hyunjin. What"s up?"

"We got into a bit of trouble."

While Jeongin spoke, Hyunjin tried hard to hold back his moans. Minho was stroking his dick lazily, drawing circles on the head with his thumbs.

"Do we-" Hyunjin was interrupted by a moan caused by Minho pressing on the sensitive area below his dick"s head. "Do we need to come over?"

"No. Brother, are you okay?" The concern in Yang"s voice was evident. 

Before Hyunjin could answer, Minho was thrusting into him, slow and steady with the little movement he had, grazing Hyunjin"s prostate.

"Hah- Yes. Hnnng." Hyunjin breathed out. "Come to the carpark- Minho fucking stop this - If any of you are injured…" Hyunjin expected the next thrust but Minho had decided to stop fooling around. "Get some bandages at the pharmacy and bring them here. We"ll talk about everything else then."

Jeongin hung up after confirming.

Hyunjin put the phone down and looked at Minho"s eyes. A mischievous sparkle was running through them, but Hyunjin wasn"t having any of it.

"You probably just broke this kid"s heart, why do you think i won"t let you kiss me in front of him." Hyunjin was getting worked up, Minho was getting harder inside him and he wanted to give him a good old beating but he loved him a little too much.

"We can always ask him to join us?" 

Hyunjin shook his head. "He doesn"t necessarily want sex, he wants love. Somehow from me. If you do this again i won"t even touch your dick for an entire week."

That worked. "Okay, I"m sorry. I didn"t know you care for him this much."

Hyunjin frowned. Minho was an attentive leader, how had he not noticed that Jeongin h

liked Hyunjin in the most innocent of ways. Not entirely probably, but the kid looked up to Hyunjin a lot.

Hyunjin dug his nails into Minho"s skin and began grinding on his dick, harder than before. "Make me cum, maybe I"ll forgive you."

1993, Spring

Hyunjin dragged the back of his hand across his mouth, wiping away blood. Three of them left. He could do this. He charged forward, knocking down on of them. The skull impacted the ground. Hyunjin got up with a swift motion and used his momentum to roundhouse kick the guy who was coming towards him. He doubled over. Too easy.

A scream cut through the night, almost like a crying cat, the voice was shaky. And Hyunjin recognised it immediately. 

Hyunjin spun around, his eyes darting through the sparse lit area until they caught Minho bent over, holding his side. Hyunjin stumbled towards him.

"Minho, you alr-"

Hyunjin had barely reached Minho when he collapsed into his arms. Hyunjin looked around, but the others had fled.

Minho was clutching his side, tears welling up in his eyes. 

>>> 

Minho rushed through the door of the pajeon place, pulling it open so hard a few splinters shot off the wood. The waiter stood up with shaking legs. "I"m sorry we couldn"t-"

"Not your fault," Minho growled. "What"s that package he talked about?"

The waiter steadied himself on the table. "Not directly a package you see. in your office."

Two quick steps and Minho was through the kitchen, two more and he was in front of his office door. He took a breath, that could be a bomb. or generally something exploding. His hand hovered over the door knob for a mere second before he opened the door. As calmly as possible. 

He saw his bare feet first. bound with red shibari rope, the fine quality ones. He lay on Minho"s desk. Exposed, long legs, a semi erection on his beautiful - Minho had known who this was the moment he had seen his feet. It would"ve been more surprising if he hadn"t. He knew every inch, every pore on that body. 

His hands were bound behind his back, making him arch upward, his neck was stretched back, his mouth agape. red spots and bruises decorated his pale skin and Minho took every last one in, mapping them, to pay the bastards back who had even so much as touched his hair. His blonde locks stuck to his face, sweat making it shiny, dirt and blood muddying the golden colour. 

His eyes were closed but he shifted his hips slightly to the side. It cost him so much energy, the sound of exhaustion ringing in Minho"s ears long after. 

Minho couldn"t move, could only stare, his brain begged him to help Hyunjin, his body unmoving. 

"Minho, I..." Hyunjin"s voice was but a whisper, hoarse and close to cracking. His eyes were still shut, but tears fought through his lashes, one already had made it to his chin.

Minho was shaking. He couldn"t control his hand no matter how much he willed it.

"Minho, please remove…" Hyunjin shifted his hip again and then Minho saw it.

A silver, shiny buttplug had been shoved into Hyunjin"s ass, dried cum stuck around. 

Minho regained his voice first. "Shit fuck bastards." 

Minho"s hands still shook but at least he could move again. With shaking hands he took out his utility knife and removed the bindings on Hyunjin"s ankles, accidentally breaking the skin where it was already sore. Minho wanted to ram the knife into his own hand but first he needed to free Hyunjin. The rope around his wrists was almost lose. Minho only needed to tug on it. Hyunjin hadn"t even had the strength..? 

Minho settled his arms under Hyunjin"s shoulders and knees and held him up to stand. Minho expected Hyunjin to not have any control over his legs and held him up.

"Lean… Turn around and bend over the table, you won"t exhaust your legs that way." Minho helped him turn and settle safely on the desk. 

"Breath in when i give you the signal." Minho said as he pressed apart and Hyunjin"s bruised ass cheeks. Hyunjin whimpered. 

"Ready." Minho placed his fingers around the end of the buttplug. "Now." 

When he heard Hyunjin breathe he pulled. Steady, slow, skilled hands that had stopped shaking now the initial shock had worn off. Hyunjin cried out, cried tears. Minho could feel his pain in every sound. Hyunjin became limp on the table, even the last bit of tension leaving his body, as Minho watched cum from what he suspected a bunch of men from his own clan dribble down his lover"s thighs. 

Minho pulled Hyunjin"s butt cheeks apart, with the gentlest touch, but Hyunjin flinched nonetheless. 

"Bear with me," Minho had settled on his desk chair between Hyunjin"s dangling legs. Hyunjin"s breathing was already unsteady when Minho pushed a finger in. The warm cum around Minho"s fingers made him want to puke, he felt something rise to his throat but suppressed it just in time. He pulled his finger out, curling it, dragging the white fluid out. It was macabre to watch but he couldn"t avert his eyes, watched it run down Hyunjin"s legs, drip onto the ground. At least he wasn"t bleeding. Someone must"ve had the tiniest bit of sense and prepared Hyunjin"s ass. 

When nothing would flow out anymore, Minho removed his finger and scooted closer between Hyunjin"s legs, careful not to touch Hyunjin"s ass with his chest. It was colder than usual, Hyunjin"s skin, when Minho laid a hand on his waist. Hyunjin"s breathing was still ragged but the touch seemed to calm him. Minho laid his head gently onto the small of Hyunjin"s back. Tears streamed down Minho"s face and he sobbed. 

Hyunjin stirred below him.

"Sorry, I"m so sorry I couldn"t protect you again." Minho was talking way too fast to combat the violent sobs rippling through his body. 

"Not… not your fault." Hyunjin was breathless and speaking sounded like it hurt.

Minho abruptly rose his head and spoke in a loud and shaky voice. "Taehee, bring water, lots. A blanket and a clean towel." 

Then he pulled Hyunjin back, into his lap, hugging him tight. Hyunjin"s face was so close. 

"Should i bring you to the hospital?" Minho"s voice was small, a whisper close to Hyunjin"s forehead. 

Hyunjin shook his head. Minho took his hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it. More tears fell from Hyunjin"s eyes when Taehee, the waiter, came in with the requested items. 

"Put it here on my table. And call my driver." 

Taehee nodded and backed out of the room after putting down a water bottle, a small towel and the dirtiest blanket Minho had ever seen. He sighed. Then the tears came again.

The bedsheets were obscenely white. Starch and flowery scent bit Hyunjin"s nose and he opened his eyes. His whole body hurt. The memories shot like flashes through his brain, each one making him jolt. Three men…

Someone stirred next to him and he used all his strength to turn his head. Minho"s hair was tousled, lips parted in his sleep. He had thrown his arm over Hyunjin"s back. His eyes looked red and Hyunjin could already make out the dark circles under them. He reached for Minho"s face, removing a strand of hair that had fallen on his cheek. When had his hair gotten so long? When was the last time they had touched like that? 

Minho blinked awake, disorientated at seeing someone in his bed, and then a flicker ran through his eyes. Without a word, he pulled Hyunjin close, his hand went into his long hair as he held him.

"I"m sorry, Hyunjin. I"m sorry. I"m so sorry." 

A tear ran down Minho"s face and Hyunjin wanted to kiss it away but he couldn"t move. His entire body was numb. 

So he just smiled. "It"s not your fault. I was careless."

"Don"t. You didn"t do anything wrong." Minho"s eyes pierced through his, as if Minho could see into Hyunjin"s soul.

"Tell me who did this."

"And what are you going to do with that information?" Hyunjin"s throat hurt, his voice was raspy. He shivered as he remembered the man yanking his head back by his hair and forcing his entire dick into his mouth in one go. 

"Hey, Hyunjin." Minho"s voice yanked Hyunjin back to the present. He was safe. He needed to relax.

"I"ll just… talk to them."

"You do talking with your fists, Mr six-times blackbelt."

Minho smirked at the nickname. 

"I"m serious. Tell me who did this."

Hyunjin shook his head. "You"re going to kill them."

"I"ll promise not to. Only a little."

"Minho, this isn"t- You can"t touch them. You"ll be dead yourself I don"t want that." 

Hyunjin could see in Minho"s eyes how the realisation settled in. 

"It couldn"t be-"

Minho was dressing hastily, almost missed the leg hole of his pants. Hyunjin moved, wanted to stop him, but his body wasn"t cooperating. He winced in pain.

Minho looked up from the pants he was trying to put on, his entire body frozen in position. "Hyunjin?" 

Tears were flowing down Hyunjin"s cheeks. "Don"t go-" Hyunjin moved again, the pain in his back making him pull a face. Minho watched in horror as Hyunjin moved to the edge of the bed, settled his feet on the ground - and collapsed on the carpet the second he had tried putting any weight onto his legs. Naked and helpless, begging… Minho from a few months ago certainly would"ve reacted different. Or would he? Dormant feelings washed over Minho all at once and he scurried over to Hyunjin. 

"Baby what are you doing?" Minho took Hyunjin"s face in both of his hands. Hyunjin"s hand found Minho"s biceps and held onto him.

"Stopping you from doing something you will regret. I don"t want to lose you again. Like back then… I know that look in your eyes, you"re going to do something stupid because of me." 

A wave of memories hit Minho like a strong ocean current.

>>

The stab wound stung like hell. Hyunjin had patched Minho up under his direction, but sewing the literal skin of his boyfriend back together had left Hyunjin with a mental blockade. The wound wasn"t too deep, but still a flesh wound, Minho hoped there was no damaged organs, but going to the hospital where his mother worked was out of the question. 

Hyunjin sat on the edge of Minho"s bed, bloody cloth on his lap, and stared at the bookshelf with all the photos of him and Minho. 

Minho lay back, moaning in pain. 

"What the hell were you thinking? Going at the armed dude?" Hyunjin"s voice was small but the anger was unmistakable. 

"I recognised him. He deserved a good beating." Speaking hurt, but Minho tried to play it down.

"Huh, where from? I don"t remember ever encountering him on gang stuff."

"He"s… He was-" Minho looked for words. But what the hell kind of situation was that. No words would ever be the right ones.

Hyunjin turned around to look at him, he rested his hand on Minho"s bare thigh as he waited, patiently and obediently, for the answer.

Minho stared at the ceiling. 

"He"s the one who did that to you. He"s the reason you wouldn"t let me touch you for so long. He is a monster-"

"Stop." 

Minho shut up.

"I didn"t ask you to do that, Minho. Even if i had recognised him, that was way too dangerous, what you did." Hyunjin"s voice was level - almost too monotonous, as if he was trying with all his might to stay calm. 

"But-"

Hyunjin snapped. His voice pierced through the air as tears ran down his face. "You could have fucking died."

He stood, the bloody cloth dropped to the ground. "I"ll be in the kitchen if you need anything."

Hyunjin stuck around while Minho was recovering, but Minho knew something was about to happen once he was well enough on his own.

And happen it did. 

Within a week Hyunjin had packed his bags and left home, moving "to the city". 

A bunch of what Minho guessed where mafiosi took Hyunjin with them in a large black car. Minho stared at the empty parking lot where Hyunjin"s bike had stood until a few days ago. 

He later found a note on his desk, short and to the point, almost as if Hyunjin, his emotional loving Hyunjin, had been entirely replaced.

I cannot stand you risking your life for me. it"s better we"re apart for now. I"ll be moving to seoul. be well. love you.

>>> 

"Hyunjin i lost you, not the other way around," Minho said, still sitting on his carpet, Hyunjin in his arms. 

"We lost each other, i guess…" A weak smile played on Hyunjin"s lips. "I was planning to come  back and introduce you to my new boss, but when I did, you were gone to Seoul yourself, directly to the rival gang."

Minho stared, he had never heard Hyunjin"s side of the story. 

"I didn"t know why, I thought you possibly hated me for how i left you. Injured and alone with a bunch of highschool delinquents." 

"Well… at first i didn"t know they were your rivals. I didn"t even know what group you belonged to. But they made me believe that you had been cruel to me…" tears welled up in Minho"s eyes and he tried to laugh them off awkwardly. "Saying you only thought of yourself and should"ve never left me." 

Hyunjin nuzzled closer to him. 

"It"s what i wanted to hear… probably. I wanted to hate you, because i had loved you so much. Still love you so much. I would take another knife to my guts for you anytime." 

"Do not-"

Minho shut Hyunjin up with a kiss, lips parted, stormy, as if they had never kissed before nor would ever kiss again. Minho held Hyunjin"s face, anxious he would be rejected if he let go. Anxious his feelings had been unrequited the entire time. But Hyunjin reciprocated the kiss, holding onto Minho"s arms as well as he could. 

They parted, panting, Hyunjin"s eyes sparkled with tears. 

"I never wanted us to be like that," Hyunjin avoided eye contact. "I was too young to understand that entirely removing myself from you would not make you better. I really thought that was best for you… Without even asking you." The apology hung in the air between them, but no words were adequate as an apology for what the past years had done to Minho. 

"I"ll help you back into the bed." Minho said instead of addressing the elephant in the room. 

"Promise you won"t leave?" Hyunjin held out his pinky. 

"What are we, highschoolers?" Minho smiled but Hyunjin"s expression didn"t change. 

"Okay, I"ll stay here." He said as he intertwined their entire hands.

Hyunjin recovered relatively quickly, after a few days he was walking around Minho"s flat, inspecting every nook and cranny. Word had spread that he had been sent away for safety reasons, mafia leaders just sometimes dipped like that apparently. Minho spent the days mostly outside, but the moment he came home he fell into Hyunjin"s arms. 

"How are you feeling?" Minho"s question had become routine. Hyunjin knew if he lied Minho could tell.

"My back still hurts like fuck but the painkillers are making it bearable." Hyunjin tried a smile and Minho winced. 

Minho leaned against the wall and stretched out his hand to cup Hyunjin"s cheek. He slowly caressed the soft skin. Behind his eyes, layers and layers of exhaustion had piled up. 

Hyunjin felt a surge in his heart. "Minho. Hyung." 

Minho"s eyes cleared and focused on his lips. "Hm?"

"I love you."

A tremble went through Minho and the next second he sank to the floor, his face buried in his hands. Sobs echoed in the small hallway of the flat. 

Panicked, Hyunjin dropped to his knees, ignoring the soaring pain in his lower back. For lack of words he brushed a hand through Minho"s hair. 

"I"m sorry," Minho spoke between sobs, looking at the floor. "Today was a bit much. I didn"t know how much i missed this."

"This?" Hyunjin couldn"t follow, all he had done was be honest. As they were supposed to be to each other.

"You. I missed you. So much. I nearly forgot how those words sounded in your voice." 

Hyunjin pulled Minho up with him and embraced him, slowly backstepping to get away from the tiles and to the living room carpet. Minho collapsed onto it before they could reach the sofa. 

Hyunjin laid down next to him, still holding part of his arm. He had never seen Minho like this. He wagered Minho himself hadn"t ever seen himself like this.