Chapter Text
I just want someone to want me
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Stars were sprinkled across the black marble sky as if specks of sugar were blown onto its surface, evening had gone mere minutes ago. The night sky was such a welcoming sight, appearing like magic at a simple wave of someone's wand. It made one want to marvel at its awing beauty, simply starstruck.
The sound of the rickety metal rubbing against each other as it was being forced against the rushing air that passed it, a continuous motion of going up and down as the bunny hybrid sat on it. Jungkook's ears flopped onto his face as if to hide the tears that were being quickly wiped by the wind as if kissing them away. Soft whimpers and hiccups filled the empty playground, but as it was empty no one was there to bear witness to it. Well except for the person he was on the phone with.
Jungkook clutched the phone in his hands, stuttered words leaving his lips that were bitten a cherry red. His body trembled with his overflowing emotions as if trying to expel them.
Sitting down and absorbing it before finally deciding the dear friend of his woes made him realize how humiliating that all was, he felt utterly embarrassed and mortified about how he handled that, like a child. He wanted to be mature and grown-up like he said he would be when he moved here alone to pursue a new kind of life but he was bad at handling things, especially on his own. If his family found out about this they would drag him all the way home. They always thought he was much too soft for the real world and maybe they were right but Jungkook had finally managed to convince them even though they were very reluctant.
“Dear it's going to be okay. I'm here for you all the way you know that right? Turn on the camera Kookie so I can see that gorgeous face.”
Jungkook nodded, quickly wiping his sleeve against his face to rid of the now-drying tears that clung to his face, leaving a sticky trail behind. He could only hope he looked decently presentable but that was asking for a lot. The warm comforting face of his beloved Hyung could be seen. His usually cool features softened under the dining lights becoming a warm hue. His usually sharp jawline was now seemingly smoothed out. An apron that he had gifted said the male was stretched across his large chest. But what Jungkook loved the most about the man’s features was that timid but loving smile and those twinkling eyes.
"Nice to see you, sweetie, I'll be with you in a bit so wait. I want to give you my undivided attention."
"Okay Eunwoo-Hyung."
His face lit up from the light-emitting from his phone screen. A warm feeling coated his heart that he couldn’t help but give a small giggle, snuggling into his thin woolen jacket. Even if he closed his eyes he could hear someone cooking from the phone with an added effect of static from the line. It was somewhat comforting, with the way the metal knife would beat against the cooking board as it sliced through vegetables or the mixture machine working behind him. The main figure in the bordered scene was moving swiftly throughout the kitchen seeming to prepare some sort of soup and dessert simultaneously.
Something people didn't know about Jungkook was he had a single close friend, the male had long gone overseas and became long distant but they always were there for one another being born in the same year and having a lot of things to talk about. The male had matured much faster than he, Jungkook sometimes couldn't help but be in awe. Eunwoo had carved a successful job for himself as some big-shot actor, making it even harder for them to meet or talk face to face. Something the younger missed dearly. However, despite his found fame, he would always look out for Jungkook, constantly calling in just to make sure he was okay and make his day a bit less lonely.
Although he may never say it enough Jungkook appreciated it so much.
The swing began to move at a much slower pace so what Jungkook was looking at wasn’t a blur to his vision. Soon the male had finished preparing it all and let it begin to cook. Finally taking a moment to sit down, camera in hand. His wide shoulders took a large majority of the view he saw, just his upper body and handsome face were displayed in all their perfection.
Dread and nervousness filled Jungkook despite being the one to initiate the call.
Eye peer right at the camera, right at Jungkook. Face resolutely worried but stern.
“What’s the matter bun? It’s only the first day you are properly in the city. If your calling me something must be wrong as much as I’d like to think you would call me just because you know I miss you. What’s the matter?”
The black-haired male was coaxing in the way he talked, gentle and warm like a spring breeze. But Jungkook was left speechless not knowing how to word things so he didn’t seem pathetic and hopeless. After all, he wanted to stay here and follow his dreams. He couldn't help but stare at his lap and twiddle his thumbs uselessly.
The may cocks a brow at his silence, however, had kept that smile plastered on his face. He hums and proceeds to take a sip of the coffee he had made before cradling it in his hands.
"I can wait all day for your answer Jungkook."
He knew the male would see through it with that promise, having tested it one time. The older was resolute until Jungkook had cracked so who was to stop him again?
"I-I keep messing up Hyung. Everything I do it goes wrong, I already ruined my chances with the people I was meant to stay with. They probably think I'm some freak now, I can't face them it would be like a walk of shame!"
Jungkook buried his face in the palms of his hands, shaking his head at the mere idea of going back with his head down in utter humiliation. The thought of hurling himself upstairs to get pack up everything he had just set up and then seeing them once again. Would looks of anger, disgust, or pity stare at him as he walked out the door? That certainly was not something anyone wanted an answer for, especially at home. To do that then go through the hassle of finding a place to stay when he had already been denied-
"Baby stop getting lost in that head of yours, you are overthinking again. Take some deep breaths. It'll be alright, even if you mess up it always works in the end right?"
Yeah but never the way he wants.
Those words didn't leave his mouth, Jungkook knowing he should keep his mouth shut when talking to the other, keeping his lips pursed so as to not delve into his habit of rambling. Learned from many moments throughout his life that was how many of his secrets were spilled without his very own permission.
But he could tell his worries he guessed.
"I really don't want to mess this up again Hyung, you know how the last time it happened went."
The person on the other side of the phone screen furrowed his eyebrows, clearly unhappy at the sentence. An exasperated sigh left their lips. He knew it wasn't aimed at him but it certainly felt like it in this case. The look he got though was not one of frustration but one of sadness and anger, anger the male had told him was at himself for allowing that incident to happen. It looked so sad and pained that it made Jungkook's heart clench.
A soft voice, almost a whisper began talking, "Kookie you know those people weren't good. T-They hurt you so much and I think it's time you replace those memories with new ones because sometimes we have to let them go and be able to move on to pursue happiness.
You should be able to judge their character, I don't think they'll be like them. And if they are well they'll have to have a talk with me then because I swore that I would never let that happen again.
By the way, you talked about them before I think they will be good for you. Kookie, I know you want this to work out more than anyone, so give it a shot okay baby? I know it's hard but if you've done it once you can do it again."
Deep down Jungkook knew this, knew he should be rational, most people in the world weren't out to get him but at times it felt like that. As if everyone was after him as his found fear always shadowed everything. Forcing him to want to stay where it was safe and isolate himself from danger. He didn't want to feel that pain again, it almost broke him and if he went through it again he wasn't sure if he could make it through and keep going. No one but him was there to pick up the broken pieces.
"You're so easy to love."
Now those words made memories resurface, ones he much rather erases from his mind.
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A small scrawny bunny was surrounded by much larger and more intimidating predators and petite prey who were all very popular. With large doe eyes, he couldn't help but look up to them, they were all so amazing. One of his hands found itself clutching the edge of one of the predator's sleeves, it belonging to a lion. For some reason it made him feel a false sense of safety and reassurance standing right there, especially with how pointed glares were directed at him but nothing was done about it.
He heard their vulgar words of slut, whore, leech, and gold digger but told himself it was alright. Well until it wouldn't be.
He brushed it off and chose to look at those right by his side, Jungkook couldn't believe they were his friends and this lion was his very own boyfriend. The captain of the football, a star athlete, and the son of a wealthy and affluent man, he was absolutely adored. Despite all of this he had chosen the meek introverted, and shy Jungkook, a bunny hybrid. Small in size with his fair share of acne and pimples. Definitely not as attractive as the prey and predators that liked the lion too.
The lion had confessed to him on the rooftop, swooning him with promises of sweet mating. At first, it was all rainbows and sunshine, as if Jungkook was on cloud nine with all the gifts he received. He had friends and became seen, something that never happened since he had been bullied and picked on since he was young. Ears were always being tugged at, the tail being teased for and so much more. This was nice, something he always wanted.
It didn't last long though, it seemed as if he was some toy a kid enjoyed for a while before throwing out for some new one.
As the weeks went on he couldn't help but have an uncomfortable feeling in the pits of his stomach and brushed it aside because he thought it was normal. Weren't these feelings butterflies that people always said they felt in their stomachs?
He should have known it was all too good to be true.
Should have known the news about bunnies being sluts would reach the ears of such people.
But he was naive, he wanted to fit in like everyone else. He liked feeling special and important.
Should have known with the way those predatory stares would linger on the forms of gorgeous prey whenever they walked by. There was always that dark glint that lingered in his eyes, never targeted at him once in the nine months they dated, nine months too long but he had been too late to realize. That look was one of lust, pure unadulterated lust.
Everything came down on an unsuspecting Friday, the school was bustling with life as it was the last day of the school week, and everyone dying to have the weekends come so they can proceed with whatever plans they had. Chatters filled the corridors and hallways. Jungkook was looking for his lover as the day had ended and continued to walk away but from a distance, he heard the boisterous laughter that was all too familiar. He paused in his tracks and turned to approach them but froze as if an ice bucket had been thrown at him.
They were having a conversation with the very people he believed to be his friends.
"So have you had a chance to have a taste of that slutty bunny! Is it as tight as they say, it should be with how ugly and stupid he is!"
"That stupid bunny won't let me. He should appreciate I even give him the time of day! I've been doing this for nine months now, all for some dumb bet!"
The male seemed outraged despite being the one to have even asked Jungkook out in the first place, he had never asked for this in the first place.
The scene in front of him continued to play out and he was the one to bear witness. The mocking laughter echoed in his ease as if to make fun of him. He covered his ears and high-tailed out of there, crashing against students who swore at him as he wiped at his eyes. He didn't want to hear any of it, the people he thought he could trust were laughing right at him, not with him. They continued to say vulgar things about him and the lion hybrid did nothing but join it, sending arrows straight through his heart but he was told this was all funny when he had asked. So why was he the center of all this joke not finding it funny?
He found his way to the children's playground, sitting on the empty swing. Tears pricked his eyes but dare not fall and took a few hours to just sit there in his solace.
If he thought they couldn't get any worse he was sorely mistaken.
With each step, he had to drag himself up, and as he stood right in front of his own door he heard something that made his heart drop and shatter. The sounds of moans and groans were emitted from his very own safe haven to which he had entrusted the keys. He heard "What if he comes catches us?" and the answer he heard from his boyfriend was a raw groan and "That's all a part of the fun right?"
The hand that was placed on the handle shook with newfound vigor, trembling as much as an earthquake. But that was what it was like as if he was suddenly thought off balance.
Right there on his own bed was the man who proclaimed to love him and a woman right below him writhing in pain and pleasure. Both melded together in a much too intimate embrace to be anything but cheating.
Jungkooks heart was beating out of his chest, at any moment he felt like he might faint from utter shock. He wasn't ready to see it firsthand, although the words he had heard should have spoken volumes in his heart for the male he thought he adored for nine months wasn't ready for the impact. He covered his mouth, barely holding himself up against the wall. The tears he hadn't shed before came with full force now to his paralyzed form due to his disbelief. His mind went blank as if watching it all in slow-mo, eyes widening at what he bore witness to.
It was too much.
The smell was too much.
The petite lamb prey arching his back in his estcay.
The large lion let his instincts overtake him and put marks on the lamb hybrid who seemed all too happy to receive it.
But what was the most disgusting thing he witnessed was that smirk, that mocking sly smirk he wish he could slap off his face. However, he was too weak to do anything that wouldn't have serious retributions.
So Jungkook did what he was best at.
Runaway.
It made him sick to his stomach, all of it happening in his own home, his very own room. His eyes latched onto the key and kept it close to his heart. Grabbing it in his sudden rush of adrenaline. He jumped flights down his stairs, feet pounding against the cemented pavement to the one place he could escape it all.
It seemed that it had all meant, some sick kind of joke and bet at the expense of his heart.
He ran and ran allowing his feet to carry him away from it all, wanting to forget it for a moment and not think about tomorrow.
All he wanted at that moment as he sobbed on the cool grass floor in the midst of night was for someone to just be there, one thought blaring in his mind,
"I just want someone to love me."