Chapter Text
To Indra, it seemed as though she was wading through thick syrup as she walked towards Bon and Lexa. No, not Lexa, Indra forced herself to remember, just a woman with Lexa’s face. She nodded to convince herself. Yes, that was better, a woman with Lexa’s face, her eyes, her mouth, and yet strangely unfamiliar to Indra, who knew her Heda like she knew her very own soul. Her legs still weren’t carrying her fast enough and her ears rang with some strange premonition. Somehow, Indra still managed to make it to Bon.
“Bon”, how her voice came out steady Indra would never know, because her mouth felt as though it was stuffed full of cotton.
“Seya”, Bon greeted back, respectfully inclining his head, though he found the movement difficult with the young woman still clinging onto him.
Indra’s eyes slid towards her, the gesture full of significance she knew Bon wouldn’t miss.
Bon’s expression turned slightly sheepish, “This is Leksa”.
Even though his declaration had been at a volume that would normally be a whisper in the busy central market of Polis, it rang out as if he had shouted it out. The crowd that had been miraculously silent from the moment Indra appeared at the gates reacted to Bon’s words as if it were a call to prayer. The chants of “Ai Heda kom daun” were deafening.
Once, during a particularly violent skirmish with the Ice Nation, an enemy soldier had struck Indra on the right knee with a tree branch. And though Indra had gotten her revenge well by firmly planting her sword in the belly of the offender, she would never forget the pain as her knee had buckled beneath the force of the hit. The moment she’d made sense of Bon’s declaration, she felt that same buckling sensation accompanied by pain. Bon’s words struck her as surely as that branch had and with far greater force.
Indra locked her knees in and with every bit of determination she had left in her weary soul roared out loud “NOU”. Thankful that the word had come out as an order rather than the plea it was, she raised her hand in the air to emphasize it. It did not have the immediate impact she wanted it to, but slowly the chants died down to a low murmur.
Indra fixed her gaze on Bon, her eyes flinty. Indra forced herself to think. She had several questions for Bon. But, given the crowd surrounding them and the cowering of the woman still clutched to Bon’s chest and the child sniffling in her arms, she would clearly have to wait to demand the answers she wanted.
“Follow me”. Indra forced herself to turn away. Some irrational corner of her heart was insisting that even if it was a mirage, it was still worth it to see Lexa again and that if she turned away she would lose even this. Indra was nothing if not adept and breaking her own heart for duty’s sake.
Lexa remained frozen, even as Bon began moving forward, following Indra’s command almost reflexively.
Despite the disaster of a situation they found themselves in, Lexa felt her lips curve into a smile. Indra was a force of nature and no one was immune. None could attest to this better than her. Indra’s ‘Gyon op’ had been enough to wake her out of even the deepest sleep. Once after a bloody battle, where Lexa had been knocked unconscious for nearly two days, an uncharacteristically sentimental Indra had begged her to never stay down again. Lexa remembered biting her down her smile to cheekily reply that Indra’s wake up calls would never allow her to rest for too long. Indra had laughed long and hard at that.
Her smile at the memory faded as she considered the problem before her. She was thankful for the barrier of Bon’s beefy arm around her, allowing her to recompose herself and rearrange her phase. Her little ruse was about to get a lot bigger.
She was shaken out of her thoughts by small curious hands patting her face with concern. “Nomon”, Riley whispered, eyes brimming with tears, her voice still a little shaky. Lexa’s heart dropped. The noises of Polis were already overwhelming for Riley who had grown up in a small village where the loudest noise was from the blacksmith’s hammer. So the chanting and Indra’s shouting had surely scared her even more. Lexa raised her head from Bon’s chest and readjusted her grip, bringing her baby closer to her body. “Shh, little one, there’s nothing to be afraid of”, Lexa whispered back quietly, “Nomon will protect you”. At this Riley’s face screwed up into a scowl, “No, I’m the gona, nomon, I will protect you”, she declared, then turned to Bon, “And Bon will help of course”. Bon’s laugh was quiet but full of amusement as he quickly nodded at Riley.
Lexa smiled at her brave daughter and pressed a kiss to her forehead. The kind of resilience Riley had was the kind she had spent a lifetime cultivating and yet it came naturally to this little soul, without hesitation. The day she had met Riley she knew exactly why her life had been spared.
She had spent much of her initial recovery going through the motions, without any actual desire to get better. Often, she had lain on her cot in the healer’s tent and wished to simply be allowed to die. The purpose that had carried her through life had deserted her. What use was there of Lexa Kom Trikru living if she was not Heda. Perhaps this is why Titus insisted that it was unnatural for nightbloods to survive into adulthood. And so, she had gone through life as though living under perpetual darkness, stumbling around without purpose, wounded and alone.
Until one day, the clouds had parted when a crying baby had quieted down in her arms. Suddenly there was a golden-haired candle, splitting through the darkness of Lexa’s second life.
She knew then that her purpose in life was to be Riley’s Nomon.
Now, it was time for that purpose to be tested. Lexa had battled death and somehow crawled out alive. She would not fail.