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To say the least, it has been a strange and rare day at Wayne Manor. Steph has never experienced anything like it before, and she doubts that she ever will again. Before patrol, Alfred asked all of Bruce’s kids to attend a dinner. He feels like it has been a long time since they’ve shared a meal between themselves, with no significant others or superhero interruptions. It’s a request all members of the family are happy to fulfill. Who in their right mind would say no to Alfred?
Apart from Duke and Damian, who still live at the Manor, most of the other kids trickle in throughout the day after work, whether it be the vigilante or the civilian kind. As the day progresses, the weather outside gets more intense. Even the weather channel wasn’t able to properly predict the oncoming blizzard’s severity.
Steph and Cass are the first ones to arrive at the Manor, just as the storm is starting. They dash inside, not bothering to wait for Alfred to open the door for them as they miserably fail to dodge hail the size of golf balls. The next ones to arrive are Dick and Tim. The eldest enters the home covered from head to toe in snow, while Tim complains about the unbearable freezing temperatures. Jason arrives minutes before dinner, the wind slamming the door violently behind him. Alfred lends Jason a new pair of pants since the ones he arrived in are soaking wet after trudging through four inches of snow.
Despite everyone's cheery mood during dinner, no one is able to ignore the pensive look on Bruce’s face every time the wind howls, or when snow pelts against the windows. He leaves the dining room as soon as everyone is finished eating, retiring to his office to make a call. Alfred shepherds all his grandkids into the kitchen to help him do the dishes and put away the very few leftovers. It isn’t lost on them that Alfred is probably trying to stop them from eavesdropping on whoever Bruce is calling.
They silently take bets behind Alfred’s back to see if Bruce would call Diana or Clark to help watch over Gotham. They also have a large, still silent, debate on if Bruce would go out alone to patrol and force them all to stay behind for their safety. They all know that villains are less likely to venture out in the storm to take over Gotham; only Mr. Freeze would find this blizzard comforting. All the Bats know that patrolling and fighting crime in high winds with no visibility and freezing temperatures is a recipe for disaster.
Bruce finally leaves his study and joins them in the living room just as Alfred finishes turning on the fireplace. The head of the household casually declares they won’t be going out tonight. Has Bruce been possessed? They all know how he feels about not patrolling Gotham, especially if none of them are out there covering for him.
"And you’re okay with this?" Dick asks.
"I’ve contacted Barbara and she’ll keep an eye on things. I’ve also asked Clark to check in on Gotham at some point tonight," Bruce replies, masterfully ignoring Dick’s actual question.
"Damn, I had bets on you calling Diana for help," Jason grumbles from where he is sitting on one of the armchairs.
Bruce raises an eyebrow at Jason’s comment.
"Clark is closer," Cass says as she smirks in her brother’s direction. She obviously already had this debate with Jason and is basking in the satisfaction of winning.
"Yeah, but we all know Bruce prefers Diana over Clark when it comes to which of their powers might destroy Gotham," Steph pipes up, also disappointed she lost that part of the bet.
Bruce only grumbles in response, ignoring his kids as cash is blatantly passed around the room to the winning parties.
"I do believe you should all be thankful you won’t have to spend the night freezing outside rather than commenting on the smaller details of Master Bruce’s excellent judgment," Alfred chastises, as he places small bowls filled with snacks on the coffee table near the couch. Brief apologies are mumbled, and the cash is quickly hidden out of sight.
After that, it doesn’t take long for them to split up into groups, each with their own way of enjoying their rare time off.
"You totally did that on purpose!" Steph exclaims angrily as the blue shell smashes into her virtual kart. She watches helplessly as the other racers pass her and cross the finish line.
"I swear, I thought Tim was in first place!" Dick replies frantically. He clearly feels bad about costing Steph the game.
"I knew you were personally out to get me!" Tim immediately accuses his older brother.
"As if that’s a secret! You’re way too good at this game," Steph tells him, dropping her remote beside her on the couch.
"That’s not true! Duke is better than all of us combined," Tim argues. He points an accusatory finger in the teen’s direction. Duke, who’s sitting on the far-right end of the large couch, is sporting a smug smile on his face.
"I’m not going to argue with that statement," Duke says casually. As he speaks, the screen displays a highlight reel of all of Toad’s best moments during the Mushroom Cup.
"So why don’t we team up and go after Duke?" Tim continues ranting, ignoring the ranking on the screen that shows that his avatar, Yoshi, finished the game in a respectable second place.
Steph and Dick exchange a look before miserably failing to suppress their laughter.
"It’s cute that you think you can beat me, even if you get Dick and Steph to help you," Duke answers, expertly tossing a grape into his mouth. There isn’t much left in the bowl that Alfred graciously left for them on the coffee table.
"Yeah, it’s easier if I compete with you and Steph for second place; everyone knows Duke will end up in first place no matter what. He’s got gaming skills and Lady Luck on his side," Dick gives his younger brother a goofy smirk as he says this.
"Which brings us back to my original argument!" Steph exclaims, once again fired up. "If you knew Duke would win anyways, why would you send the blue shell knowing that for the first time in my life, I was about to place within the top three?"
Steph can admit she wouldn’t have finished first place, whether Dick had sent that shell or not, but she was damn close to actually making top three. "You literally just helped Duke win!"
"I said I was sorry. I really thought you had already fallen behind, you had stopped screaming about being in first place," Dick replies. He knows Steph isn’t actually mad – she’s just complaining for the hell of it – but he still feels bad.
"I was concentrating; that’s why I was quiet," Steph tells him.
"You should concentrate more when you patrol," Bruce says calmly, suddenly speaking up from the opposite side of the room.
All four kids stare incredulously at Bruce as soon as their brains register what he said. They’d all forgotten he was in the living room playing a game of chess with Cass.
"Ha, ha," Steph deadpans, recovering first. "Admit it, Bruce! You just don’t want to say it would be boring without my commentary."
The three boys beside Steph are not subtle in hiding their snickers. She glares at them as she tries not to laugh as well. Game can recognize game. She’s not going to say it out loud because it would be a blow to her own ego, but Bruce’s comment was actually funny. That’s something she came to learn about Bruce over the years; one of the funniest things about him is his delivery and sense of comedic timing. His jokes and the way he calmly tells them always take people by surprise.
"Come to think of it, all four of you would benefit from using some of your gaming tactics while on missions," Bruce continues to say as he moves one of his chess pieces diagonally across the board. Cass frowns slightly at his move, but it’s impossible to tell if it’s because she’s about to lose or if it’s because she feels bad about her next move annihilating Bruce.
"Don’t psychoanalyze the way we play Mario Kart; just concentrate on your game with Cass," Dick grumbles, although anyone who knows him can tell he’s just as amused as his siblings.
"Hrn," Bruce grunts in return. His concentration returns to the game in question, his eyes already analyzing Cass’s composure.
"Another round?" Duke asks. He’s halfway done with setting up the game.
"I’m going to sit this one out," Steph tells them, turning off her remote to remove her character, Waluigi, from the game.
"Are you sure?" Tim asks. His brows are slightly drawn in concern. He clearly thinks Steph is upset about the events of their last round.
"Yeah," Steph cheerfully replies, trying to dismiss his unfounded worry. She gets up from the couch and shuffles her way out of the tangled mix of limbs on the sofa. "I’m getting hungry again and I’m no longer in the mood for healthy snacks."
"Bring me back something?" Dick requests as he takes over Steph’s place in the middle of the couch.
"Sure," she answers. "But I might be gone a while; I’m going to go see what Damian and Jason are up to first."
"I think they’re in the library," Duke adds before pressing start on the game.
"Thanks!" Steph continues walking towards the hall that leads to the rest of the Manor but pauses before stepping out of the room. "Cass? Bruce? Do you guys want a snack?" She knows Bruce will most likely decline since he keeps a strict diet, but she doesn’t want to be rude and not offer him some of his own food. After all, she’s currently on her way to raid his kitchen.
"No, thank you," Bruce replies, his eyes fixated on the board. Based on Cass’s now relaxed posture, Bruce is about to lose the round.
Steph sees Cass nod in response to her question.
"Duke, win this round in my honor!" Steph yells as she exits the room. She doesn’t answer back when she hears Dick and Tim’s squawks of indignation. They’re accusing her of jumping ship after having just yelled at them for helping Duke win. Hopefully, her comment will motivate them to actually beat Duke for once. They can thank her later.
"Who wants to help me beat Duke in Mario Kart?" Steph announces as she enters the library. It’s just as warm as the living room, courtesy of Alfred no doubt. Jason looks up from his book, a grin already on his face.
"That’s a trick question, no one can beat Duke," Jason says calmly. He grabs the bookmark that’s laying on the arm of his chair and marks his page.
"Damn it, I was hoping you were immune to his legendary skills," Steph replies, pulling a chair out from one of the nearby tables and sitting on it. "What about you kid, any good at driving?"
Damian is sitting on the opposite end of the table. He’s busy drawing something in his sketchbook and doesn’t bother looking up as he answers.
"Tt. I’m a fantastic driver. You should see me drive the Batmobile."
"So, that’s a no on being a good Mario Kart driver, then?" Steph asks, even if she senses she’s pushing the limits with this question.
"He’s going to plead the Fifth on this one," Jason snorts as Damian finally looks up from his sketchbook to glare at them. "Lost one too many rounds, Steph?"
"Obviously," Steph admits freely. "But I have a more pressing issue right now. I’m hungry and I’m in the mood for something sweet."
"Is this your way of asking me to bake something for you?" Jason asks, an unamused look on his face.
"No. Unless you're offering?" Steph replies in an uncertain tone. She’s not going to turn him down if he does offer to make something for her, but she doubts he will. "I was just checking to see if you two wanted in on my snack."
"What kind of snack?" the eldest replies in a cautious tone.
"Undecided; I’ll let you know once I raid the kitchen," she declares.
"Pennyworth doesn’t keep a lot of processed foods and sweets in the kitchen," Damian replies nonchalantly. "You’ll have to bake yourself something if you want to satisfy your terrifying sweet tooth."
"Seriously? Not even a tub of ice cream?" Steph questions.
"Thomas finished the only tub of ice cream we had yesterday," Damian informs her. "He made a milkshake." That last sentence is said with such bitterness, it’s impossible for it to not go unnoticed by Jason and Steph.
The pair exchange a quick glance, eyebrows raised in confusion. They wait in silence for a couple of seconds before Jason finally takes the bait.
"Don’t leave us hanging, Demon Brat. Are you mad because Duke didn’t share with you or because you’ve been harboring a personal vendetta against milkshakes?" Jason says teasingly.
"Tt," Damian scoffs. He lets go of his pencil to properly scold his brother. "Don’t be absurd, Todd. No one with an ounce of maturity holds a grudge at inanimate objects like food."
"Oh! I hate peas," Steph immediately answers. "Have you ever smelled canned peas? They smell like vomit."
"You do know peas don’t grow in cans?" Jason banters.
"You don’t say?" she replies, rolling her eyes playfully. "I don’t like peas, canned or not."
She glances back at Damian, who is glaring at her in a judgemental way. Obviously, he thinks her hatred of peas is ridiculous.
"So, we agree that we want milkshakes?" Jason says, feeling the tension building between the two younger ones.
"I told you we’re out of ice cream, Todd," Damian replies, returning his focus to his drawing.
"But you clearly want some since Duke didn’t share with you yesterday," Jason observes, giving a pointed look at Damian as soon as the young Robin shows signs that he’s about to argue this statement. "And Steph will never say no to sugar," Jason continues, successfully getting Damian not to fight him on this.
"Of course I won’t," Steph exclaims as she excitedly stands up from her chair. "So, what’s the plan? Oh! We can order and get some delivered. I’m sure Bruce would pay for it," she says, answering her own question.
"I doubt anyone is delivering in this weather and Bruce would hate it if we forced some poor delivery guy to trek all the way out here," Jason counters. "I say we go out and get it ourselves."
"You want to drive to downtown Gotham on your motorcycle in a snowstorm?" Steph questions hesitantly. She knows he’s a good driver, they all are, but even she doesn’t think that it’s a good idea. And this is coming from someone who’s not normally the voice of reason.
"Todd’s civilian motorcycle wouldn’t make it out of the driveway, but the Batmobile could get us there."
Steph is surprised that Damian is suddenly on board with this idea. She honestly expected him to try and stop them.
"We’re not taking the Batmobile, Bruce would know. I swear it’s an extension of his body at this point," Jason explains to Damian and Steph. "We sneak out with some of his Bat Bikes; they’re more durable than civilian motorcycles and Bruce is less likely to notice the older models are gone. We stop by the diner closest to the Manor and grab some milkshakes, then we’re back in less than an hour. Bruce won’t be the wiser."
"I’m sure we’ll still somehow get caught, but let’s do it!" Steph answers.
"Do you want to start another round, Cass?" Bruce asks after losing another game of chess. He always enjoys playing with his daughter; she’s incredibly skilled and it offers a nice challenge for him. Since deciding not to go on patrol tonight, they’ve finished three rounds, Cass having won two of them.
He watches as Cass gently shakes her head in response to his question. Instead, she points towards her brothers who are still busy playing video games.
"Are you going to try and beat Duke?" he asks.
"I won’t try; I will," she proudly announces.
She stands up from her seat and starts making her way towards the couch but stops in her tracks when she hears the sound of a phone ringing.
Bruce looks down at his cellphone which is laying on the table beside the chessboard. The caller ID feature shows that Clark is calling him. Strange. If there was a problem, Clark would have called down to the Cave or quickly flown here to get him. Why is he calling from his civilian phone when he should be patrolling Gotham?
Cass tilts her head to the side as she turns back around to face Bruce.
"It’s okay Cass; I’ll let you know if something is wrong," he promises. He grabs his phone and leaves the room. From the corner of his eye, he sees Cass join Dick, Tim, and Duke on the couch. She perches herself on one of the armrests, waiting for the round to finish before joining the next race.
"What’s wrong," Bruce growls as soon as he answers the call. He immediately recognizes the sound of the wind howling in the background of the call, which means Clark is somewhere outside in the storm.
"I’m confused," he hears Clark say in response to his question.
"Confused about what?" Bruce replies, his voice going deeper in response to his own confusion and frustration with the current situation. "You’re the one calling me. We agreed you’d only contact me if there was an emergency."
"That’s why I’m confused. If you’re answering your cellphone, that means you're in the Manor and not in the Cave," Clark tells him, the wind still howling in the background.
"Correct."
"So why did I just hear Robin say that he needs to get back to the Cave as soon as possible?" Clark asks. "I didn’t think you’d want any of them patrolling if you weren’t going out tonight."
"No, I didn’t," Bruce grumbles. He knows that Damian isn’t in the living room with the rest of his family, but he wasn’t expecting him to be foolish enough to sneak out to go on patrol.
"I was in Metropolis listening in on Gotham when I recognized his voice. I called you as soon as I left for Gotham. I should find him in no time."
"I’m heading downstairs," Bruce says, already halfway to the study. He’d started walking there when he began talking to Clark. If Clark heard Damian talking to someone, either Jason or Steph, but most likely both, are with him. Bruce hasn’t seen them in a while.
"I know Robin is out there and if I’m not mistaken, I think Red Hood and Spoiler are with him," Clark explains, although Bruce already knows this. "I recognize their heartbeats."
"I know; those are the only three not here right now," Bruce confirms as he reaches the study. With a precise and practiced motion, he unlocks the entrance to the Cave and starts walking down the stairs. He hears the hidden door lock shut behind him. "Some of my bikes are missing," Bruce immediately remarks as his eyes scan the Cave for any hints as to why his kids disobeyed him and left during the storm. Because he knows they wouldn’t be foolish enough to steal the Batmobile, he’d automatically started searching for any other missing vehicles.
"I see them!" Clark suddenly exclaims. "They’re almost back at the Cave, stolen motorcycles included."
Bruce grunts in reply to Clark’s comment. He can tell his friend is trying to be positive despite the situation, but that’s not Bruce’s style so he can’t return the favor. Instead, he stomps over to the main computer system at the center of the room. His fingers fly over the keyboard as he inputs the code to unlock the hidden entrance to the Cave. It’ll make sure the trio knows he’s waiting for them.
"Should I make sure they arrive at the Cave safely or—" Clark starts to ask, but Bruce is quick to interrupt him.
"Finish patrolling Gotham; I’ll handle them."
"Okay, good luck."
Bruce hums in response before hanging up the call. After years of working together, he knows Clark will be able to recognize the sound he made as his way of saying thank you.
Soon enough, the loud noise of motors revving and tires driving on asphalt fill the silence of the Cave. Bruce waits at the computer. There’s no need for him to walk down to meet them; they’ll know he’s here and that they’ve been caught red-handed.
As the bikes exit the tunnel that leads outside and enters the Cave, Bruce watches as Damian, Steph, and Jason notice him sitting at the computer. They’re all in their uniforms. The helmets protected them from the cold winds, but the rest of their bodies are covered in snow. A quick once-over tells Bruce that none of them are visibly injured, but they’re all suspiciously cradling their own plastic bag. Something fragile must be inside and if Bruce isn’t mistaken, the logo on the bag is from a diner not too far from the Manor.
Bruce waits as they dismount from their bikes and remove their helmets.
"Told you we’d get caught," Steph declares as she hangs her helmet on the left handlebar of the motorcycle.
"Then why did you do it?" Bruce can’t help but ask. There’s no mistaking from the tone of his voice that he’s angry. All three of his kids start slowly making their way towards him. "I explicitly told you not to patrol tonight because it was dangerous. I didn’t even go out! What could possibly have been so important that—"
"We weren’t disobeying your rules, Father," Damian interrupts when he reaches the computer.
"Both Superman and I caught you red-handed. You can’t talk your way out of this, Damian," Bruce retorts. He’s trying not to lose his temper, but he just can’t understand why the three of them would risk their safety on a night like this.
"We respected your wishes and didn’t go out to patrol Gotham," Damian continues explaining. He doesn’t seem angry at being caught.
"Then—"
"Relax, Old Man. Your spawn, for once, actually listened to you. We went to get milkshakes," Jason answers calmly. He raises his arm to show Bruce the bag in his hand. Up close, he can now tell that there’s a large cup nestled safely inside each of the plastic bags.
Bruce wants to reply, but he can’t find the right words. Why did they leave the safety and warmth of the Manor to drive in the middle of an unrelenting and dangerous blizzard to grab themselves frozen beverages?
"Milkshakes?" Bruce repeats, not sure where to start in questioning their line of thinking.
"Yeah, we were craving some, and Jason thought you wouldn’t appreciate us getting someone to deliver it here in these conditions, so we went out ourselves to get some," Steph explains. Despite the tension in the room, she’s smiling.
"You drove out in a snowstorm to get milkshakes?" Bruce feels like a broken record repeating himself, but he’s in such disbelief that his brain is unwilling to turn on and assist him in handling this situation.
"Yes, Father," Damian answers, sounding exasperated.
"What’s going on down here?" a voice suddenly yells from the top of the stairs. Bruce turns to look in the direction of the noise and sees Dick poking his head through the secret door. As soon as Dick notices that there are several people in the Cave, he fully opens the door and walks into the Cave. Obviously, his children’s sixth sense was triggered and the rest of them came down to join in on the chaos.
Cass, Dick, Duke, and Tim are quickly descending the stairs with the clear intent of joining them.
"We went out to get milkshakes!" Steph announces proudly, removing a styrofoam cup from her bag to show off her prized possession.
"In this weather?" Duke asks incredulously. Bruce is thankful at least one of his kids is just as confused and surprised as he is.
"We would not have had to venture out in this weather if you had not finished the ice cream yesterday, Thomas," Damian growls angrily, turning around to face Duke as he approaches them.
"You told me you disliked mint chocolate chip ice cream!" Duke retorts, frustrated. He’s clearly had this argument with Damian recently.
“You’re such a hypocrite,” Steph mumbles playfully. And he’d had the audacity to judge her for disliking peas.
"Enough," Bruce announces sternly. "I don’t know what to say other than that was stupid and dangerous." Bruce pinches the bridge of his nose, trying to maintain any sense of calm. At this point of fatherhood, he’s convinced his kids’ sole mission is to find new ways to make him grow gray hairs. "Who in their right mind wants to drink something frozen in this weather?" Bruce mutters under his breath.
"When have those three ever been in their right mind?" Tim asks in response to Bruce’s comment. Of course, he didn’t whisper to himself softly enough. It’s just one of those nights.
As soon as Tim utters his judgemental remark, all hell breaks loose. The Cave is instantly filled with the cacophony of several voices.
"Do not question my sanity; I will murder you, Drake!" Damian angrily claps back at Tim’s comment.
"Only I can make jokes about me dying and losing my mind," Jason pipes up, but Bruce can tell he isn’t actually angry. He seems to be enjoying the chaos. He’s also removed his milkshake from the bag and is now drinking it.
"Cass! I got an extra-large chocolate milkshake so we can share!" Steph excitedly announces as she walks towards Cass.
"I won Mario Kart for you!" Cass replies as she happily accepts the milkshake to take a sip from it.
"This is why you’re everyone’s favorite," Steph smiles.
"Where’s my milkshake? I asked for a snack earlier!" Dick asks as he watches Cass and Steph share their drink.
"Sorry, Dickwing. There are no cup holders on the bikes, and you need at least one hand to drive in these conditions," Jason replies, taking another large gulp of his drink.
"You shouldn’t have been driving in these conditions, even with two hands," Bruce chastises, but even he hears how discouraged he sounds right now. Jason just chuckles at his comment.
"Fine. Damian, what flavor did you get? We’re sharing," Dick says, undeterred by Jason’s deliberate taunting.
"Don’t even think about asking me to share," Jason says, pointing at both Duke and Tim.
Bruce can hear Tim and Duke trying to convince Jason to just let them have one sip each, but Bruce isn’t focusing on what they’re offering in exchange. Instead, he turns his attention to the computer behind him as he hears the familiar tune of an incoming call. He presses a button on the nearby keyboard to answer the call.
"Nothing to report in Gotham, B," Superman says. Bruce is glad he remembered protocol and called through the private communication line instead of his personal cellphone this time. "Do you need backup in the Cave?"
Bruce sighs as he listens to the chaos of the Cave. He knows this isn’t going to end well. He doesn’t like asking for help, but it seems like tonight he’ll be setting a record for the number of times he needs Superman’s assistance.
"Be here in five minutes with some tubs of ice cream; I’ll pay you back," Bruce instructs. He doesn’t wait for Clark to reply before disconnecting the call. He knows Clark heard him and will happily help him out, even if it’s an odd request.
Bruce turns back around to face all seven of his children. "All of you, change out of uniform and be upstairs in the kitchen in five minutes."
At least they stop bickering to listen to him, but they look confused and a bit wary by his instructions. They obviously expected some kind of speech about the importance of remaining safe. But Bruce is too tired to deal with this.
"Clark’s bringing us more ice cream," Bruce explains. "I hope you all know Alfred isn’t going to be impressed."
"We’ll clean up the kitchen after we’re done making the milkshakes," Tim promises on behalf of the group.
Bruce grunts in reply as they all nod in agreement. He watches as Damian, Steph, and Jason make their way to the locker room to remove their uniforms while the other four walk back upstairs. Their voices carry across the Cave as they debate the most efficient way to prepare all the milkshakes and whether Clark will bring more than one flavor of ice cream.
Great, now Bruce is also craving a milkshake. His kids’ weird cravings are rubbing off on him.