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This was the first time they were meeting up after the events of, well, saving the world. Naturally, it was at Denny's. Hey, The Thing needed to keep his calories up and even if they were supercelebrities now... no one is too good for bad breakfast food. Somehow they managed to squeeze all five of them into a four-person booth in the back. As soon as they settled in, Reed flagged down the waitress and slid her a hefty tip to take their orders and then leave them alone. She shrugged, short box red hair unmoving from the sheer audacity all the gel keeping it spiked up. A fifty dollar tip would buy a lot of cigarettes. Four whole boxes in 2007 money.
"Damn," said Susan FantasticFour, "That was crazy. I almost died. And you know what! I DID die. But enough about me and my problems," she reached a hand out across the booth towards her younger brother, "Johnny.... I'm so glad you finally found a primary partner. You were looking like you wanted to kidnap my husband before the wedding. He's still dating you, you know. Our marriage is for tax purposes."
"And next of kin stuff, don't forget about that," said her new husband, managing to give the whole table a smoldering look with that strangely elastic face of his.
"And next of kin stuff," she repeated with a fond grin.
"I know" said her pain in the ass but undeniably hotter brother, Johnny FantasticFour, "I am so glad we decided to be a polycule all those years ago. Even though Ben keeps leaving us to be with his totally normie girlfriend of his."
"I'm right here," muttered The Thing around a fork of oversaturated pancake. Johnny threw a napkin at him from across the table.
"Soooooooo can I join the polycule?" asked Johnny's sexy silver boyfriend, Norrin, or whatever his name was.
"I'm sorry," said Mr. FantasticFour himself where he was squeezed between The Thing, his wife and the wall, "but I've gotta say no!! We already had the suits made. Too late to change 'em now! Brand recognition, you know."
"Plus, he's a bit of a size queen and you don't exactly have a-"
"Susan!" yelled Johnny, half in mock-astonishment, half because it was extremely rude, "Enough of that!"
"Well, it's true," she said, rolling her beautiful brown eyes. Her blonde hair didn't suit her, but everyone was too fond of her to tell her how they really felt. That's romantic love for you. And fear, on Johnny's part. Mostly fear.
Johnny picked up a fry from Norrin's plate and threw it at her, aiming for her cleavage. It missed. The surfer didn't eat but being extremely reflective and essentially naked while in public was weird enough, even for New York, so he had randomly ordered a "bur-gar" after some prompting to better fit in. It helped. Slightly.
"Your human ideas of sex are too restrictive. One day Johnny will tell you of all the-"
Johnny covered his silver mouth with one firey hand, sparking only for a second in order not to trigger the fire alarm. After the thirty-second time, he had finally managed it. Even dumbasses are capable of learning new tricks!
Norrin licked his hand, his tongue like mercury appearing between Johnny's fingers for a second. Johnny stifled a moan.
"Ew! He's hard!' Reed laughed, removing one of his stretched-out hands from where it lay across Johnny's lap, "You guys are such freaks!"
"Says the size queen," said Norrin triumphantly, eyes unmoving from Johnny's face.
Susan reached her hand up and they highfived.
Later, as they stood in the lobby to all go their separate ways (since Ben only lived part-time at the pad these days, and Norrin was about to take Johnny on a trip through space to go meet his family) they lingered, collectively.
"Are we doing this?" grunted The Thing, and Mr. FantasticFour stretched his long-long arms around all four, no, all five of them, and brought them in for a hug. One by one they kissed each other. Reed and Susan, Susan and Ben, Ben and Johnny, Johnny and Reed, Reed and Ben, and finally, the silver surfer newcomer and Johnny. Susan reached out a hand and tousled first her brother's hair, and then, with only minor trepidation, her brother's new boyfriend's shiny pate.
"Don't forget to call," she said, "We'll miss you."
And that. Was that.