Chapter Text
They tell themself things can be okay. But just in case, they opt for a simple shirt, pants, and sneakers. Something they can comfortably run in.
Just in case.
It seems like Shinsha may have had the same idea, at least, wearing something similar. The lights around the city indicate it's mid-afternoon when the two step out. Dia will be performing again today, but they can at least meet up when it's over.
"I don't remember you ever talking about them," Shinsha muses on the way to the arena.
They really hadn't, had they. "I didn't want to crack thinking about them. At first, anyway." They glance up into inky blackness. "Then the Lunarians stopped coming. So I tried to just forget…"
Shinsha leans into Bort's side as they walk. "So what do you think?" they ask, after a few seconds.
"They're my sibling," Bort answers, almost automatically. "They were my first and longest partner. They--They were really special. And I just wanted to keep them safe…"
They pause to rub wetness out of the corners of their eyes. "I don't even know what to think of them now. Everything I know about them, all of my memories are so old. They don't need me now. They probably never did…"
In this moment, they're grateful Shinsha has been holding Bort's hand -- their right hand -- for the entire walk there. They can't complain for even a second. Shinsha's warmth doesn't leave them.
"…We all have a lot of regrets. But we can learn from them, too. And grow. Remember what Euc said?"
Bort remembers. They didn't think about it so much, never thought it mattered for them to be able to fight. But they remember.
"Yeah…" They also remember another thing. "What were you going to say, on that day?"
They look at Shinsha, who looks almost lost in thought. Shinsha smiles. "It doesn't matter anymore."
"No, I suppose not."
Curiously, they see the arena before they hear any noise. The concert should be in full swing right now, but the most they can hear are the indistinct conversations from passing citizens. There are no brightly coloured lights, no cheering, no music. They approach an important-looking Lunarian with glasses and a clipboard near the entrance, who looks frustrated, and ask what's going on.
"The performance was cancelled," she says with a huff. "And our lovely Dia won't say why, but now I've got to manage PR, rebook, send out a bunch of make-goods to all the VIP fans, and probably work all through the night, so that's just great."
"Uh, so," Bort tentatively asks through the grumbling, "is Dia still here?"
"They'd better be, last thing I need is to chase after them, too."
"Oh." This might be the most angry they've seen someone since arriving on the moon and it's a little unnerving. "Would you mind letting them know I'd--uh, Bort, would like t--uh, is here? Please?"
She gives them a look that makes Bort tense up and want to grab their whip, but throws up her hands and starts walking inside.
"Sure! Why not! Not like I don't have a hundred other things to do, I'd be happy to, pile 'em on! Nothing like running errands for some stuck-up diva a hundred times younger…"
She continues, out of earshot, and Shinsha pipes up.
"That was intense. Why do a job you hate?"
Bort decides against pointing out the obvious. "It's like Jade on a really bad day," they say instead.
The two find a nearby bench to sit on for the next few minutes, idly gazing at the stars.
"I heard Thirty is learning to be an astronomer."
"Really? And Eighty's a scientist, right?"
"One of the best, apparently."
"Those Amethysts sure are ambitious."
"Mm."
…
"It's nice out here."
"Mm."
…
"What are those people over there doing?"
"I think they're just eating some food."
"Oh… What is food like?"
"Huh, I guess you haven't had it before."
"Nope."
"It's weird to describe. It's this chewy stuff, you put it in your mouth, then it just, uh, kind of goes through your body and comes out later."
"That sounds weird."
"Mm."
"I wonder why they do it."
"I liked it better as a gem," comes a familiar third voice, snapping the two out of their reverie. Dia, dressed in what looks like a long, thick shirt, with a hood drawn over their head, and shorts to match. Bort jumps to their feet, Shinsha right behind them. Or, actually Shinsha jumps up in front of them, coming between the siblings, true to their word.
Bort gets a proper look at Dia. They're smiling. Not the smile from yesterday. It's a smile they remember from back on Earth, but it was never on Dia's face. It's the smile Yellow always had. Tired.
"Hi Bort. Hi Cinnabar."
"…Hey," Bort calls over Shinsha's shoulder. Shinsha gives a wave, before stepping back to Bort's side and grabbing their hand. They can handle this. It's just a conversation, and they have Shinsha here.
Dia looks to the street. "Can we go for a walk? There's something I want to show you."
Bort looks to Shinsha, who is also looking to Bort. They aren't sure which one of them is supposed to nod first.
They nod, first to Shinsha, then to Dia, and the three set off. It's quiet between them at first. How are they supposed to start, Bort wonders. What do they want to say?
Before they can figure it out, it's Shinsha who makes the first move. "What happened to the concert?" They really hadn't expected Shinsha to make conversation at all. They're glad to have someone to fill in the empty space.
"I wasn't feeling up to it, so I called it off," the star replies, simply. "It's not a problem, attendance has been down all week anyway."
That's surprising to hear. "But there were so many people yesterday," Bort points out.
Dia's smile doesn't change. "Not as many as you'd think. They used to fill every seat, come out to see me shoot music videos, come to autograph sessions… It all started dwindling away. My manager tried telling me the fans were just overexposed, so we'd just pull back from events for a few decades and work on more songs, get everyone excited for a comeback. But I'm not an idiot."
Bort doesn't get it, and suddenly feels like an idiot themself. "What happened?"
Dia's smile widens -- it's fake, Bort can recognise that, but it doesn't feel malicious; more like a lie they're telling themself -- and they take a step in front of the other two, spreading their arms out and performing a twirl.
"The end of the war! Our wonderful, new, Lunarian bodies." They continue walking, falling back into step. "The real reason so many people liked me is because of how I glistened. They try to fake it, but you can tell it's not the same, so people don't bother."
Bort tries to take it all in. They wanted to talk to Dia, but it was going in a completely different direction than they had predicted. Now they barely know what to even say.
"But your music is still really nice," Shinsha says with the same timid voice they'd slip into when everyone would start paying attention to them.
Bort can't stop looking at the ground ahead, trying to work out how to reply and also bring up their own points. They hear a light giggle, though.
"So they say. But it's not like it used to be… This album will probably be my last one. This way."
Bort falters in their step for a moment as the three round a corner. "B-But don't you like doing it anyway?!"
"Maybe, but is there a point if nobody appreciates it? Hmm, maybe that's the old gem in me talking, but I just can't imagine spending ten thousand years doing something that's of no real use to anyone."
That's not right. That can't be right. They want to prote--
"Isn't that sad?" But Dia isn't finished. "After all this time, I'm still back where I started. I spent so long thinking I wanted to change myself, to be worth existing. But it didn't work, and I thought I really just wanted to get away from you, so I ran away to the moon."
Of all the things to hear, this is just magnifying their guilt over their time on earth. And worst of all, they can't even say anything, the words die in their throat.
"Two hundred years. I really thought I was happy. That this was everything I wanted. I got to sing and dance for legions of adoring fans almost every single day…" Dia stares at Bort and Shinsha. Their eyes are leaking, just a bit. "And do you know what? Even with all of that, even the mere mention of you made me freeze up! Isn't that silly?"
No, it's not silly. But they can't bring themself to say it fast enough, and Dia continues. How long were they waiting to speak with Bort about all of this?
"After all that time! I still couldn't shake the terror. And I thought-- I thought, I just wanted to beat you. If I could just shatter you, I'd finally be happy…I thought I was, for sure this time. I didn't think about you for a hundred years, and whenever someone talked about you I didn't care. I thought it was fine, and then I…"
Dia trails off; Bort can see they're eyeing their hand, still holding onto Shinsha. Dia's smile is gone now.
"I didn't mean to do that to you. I really didn't, I hope you'll believe me. I just saw you there, and. I just. I don't even know, but I wanted to just, do something. I thought it would just be quick and harmless because all the other Lunarians reform immediately."
They look guilty; no, Bort is the one who should be guilty that things turned out this way at all.
"I didn't know you hadn't reformed before, I thought you--"
"…"
"…"
"…I'm so sorry, Bort."
And finally, Bort finds their own voice again.
"N-No, I'm sorry!" They stop walking so they can face Dia properly. Shinsha gives their hand a tiny squeeze. "I ignored you and hurt you and talked down to you nearly my whole life, this is all my fault!"
Dia smiles that tired smile again. "But you moved on. Even before I left, you had. You even managed to move on from battle. You were able to change. So many of us were. Except me. I've been stuck this way for so long, hating a You that doesn't even exist anymore."
Bort feels sick. "Dia…"
The idol shakes their head and wipes their eyes. "It's okay, I got carried away for a second there. We should keep going, we're almost there."
Suddenly they're walking again, Bort desperately trying to keep up with a conversation that's slipping through their fingers. They don't want to just let it end there, of all the possible outcomes, they never wanted to see Dia like this. But what are they supposed to say now? They already tried apologising and it didn't change anything.
They look to Shinsha for guidance. Their partner rubs their shoulder and whispers that it'll be okay, then plants their lips on Bort's cheek. For a split second, they do feel calmed down. The split second is interrupted by a shocked gasp. In front of them, Dia is holding their hands up against their mouth, eyes wide.
"Oh my gosh, you two, really?!" Dia exclaims in a voice Bort remembers hearing every time a new gem was born and brought to the school. Pure excitement that breaks their face out into the most genuine, Dia-like smile they've seen since coming to the moon.
"U-Us two, what?" Shinsha replies, almost shifting to stand behind Bort.
"I should have realised sooner! So who confessed first? Or was it both at the same time?"
"What?!" the two nearly shout. Dia just said what? They didn't mean confess, as in. Love.
Did they?
"Wh-what do you mean, why would we do that?" Of course Dia's always thinking about romance, but where did that come from all of a sudden?
Dia bounces on their feet, their smile fading back into something more coy. "I saw that kiss just now, just like the prince and princess. Of course you're in love, that's amazing!"
Bort's mind wipes itself clean of any existing thoughts to try and make room for an explosion of questions. So that thing is called a kiss, huh? Kisses mean you're in love? Bort is in love with Shinsha? Is Bort in love with Shinsha? Wait, does Shinsha love Bo--
"Hey!" Speaking of Shinsha, it seems like they want the subject to change immediately. "So, where are you taking us, anyway?"
Dia smiles and doesn't say, instead continuing on, a few steps ahead of the pair. The quiet between Bort and Shinsha is palpable. Bort is acutely aware of Shinsha's hand holding their own. Do they love Shinsha? It's really not their area of expertise: what is love supposed to feel like? Are they feeling it now? Were they feeling it before, sometime? They suppose they always knew they loved Kongo. But that doesn't seem like it's the same. That always felt like a sense of duty towards him, to their fellow gems.
What do they feel towards Shinsha? They want to protect them, keep them safe, but not like the other former gems. Shinsha is…was delicate, fragile, yet fierce, stronger, more deadly than all of them. They were always terrified of themself, convinced they were harmful to everyone, and Bort always wanted to show them that didn't have to be true. They spent over two hundred years staying as close as they could, keeping Shinsha from getting lonely. They liked hearing Shinsha talk about random facts about the plants and animals. They liked not needing to say anything at all. They liked sitting next to Shinsha, joking about Red Beryl's latest extravagant designs. They liked how Shinsha never complained when Bort did talk about battle tactics, showed off their whip. They liked the way Shinsha listened intently when Bort started learning about jellyfish. They appreciated that Shinsha didn't want to leave them alone during the final invasion.
It's all different now. But it's the same in essence. They want to stay close to Shinsha, smile and talk about nothing important with Shinsha, and, now that they can, hold and even "kiss" Shinsha. Isn't all of that normal? What else would you do for someone precious to you? Is that meant to be love, then? Does it even matter what it's called? Shinsha understands, they're pretty sure Shinsha understands them. Isn't that what's important?
Before they can follow the tangled roads in their head to a conclusion, they notice Dia leading them through an archway. On the other side they notice the path is now lined with pools, almost like the pond outside the school. They see slugs lining the waters, colours multitudinous unlike anything else they can recall seeing on the moon so far. It's quite beautiful, they think. There are Lunarians sitting on the pools' edges, some holding and petting the slugs, and they remember something about a sea slug from a long time ago…
They continue on, coming to a smaller pool next to a building. Dia kneels down and reaches into the pool.
Bort stays a few paces back, Shinsha still by their side. "What is this place?" they ask, happy to think about their destination rather than anything else for a moment.
"I had a feeling you hadn't been here before," comes the reply. "The admirabilis back there used to live outside the city. They're a lot cuter now. But they don't seem to play nicely, so they stay separated."
Before they can ask "who", Dia stands and turns. Bort's mouth stays open, slack-jawed, at the jellyfish in Dia's hands.
Just like the ones on Earth. They let go of Shinsha's hand and rush forward, past Dia, sinking to their knees, staring into the pool. Dozens of them! They reach into the water, making sure they're actually real.
"Th--they…"
"I didn't actually realise what you'd said until after you'd left, and I thought it was strange. They're pretty common. Some people keep one in their homes 'cause they like how they glow."
"I never knew…"
"It's been over a hundred years since we got here and you really hadn't seen any jellyfish until today?"
They ignore how startled they are by Shinsha appearing next to them with Ghost-like stealth and focus on what sounds like a critical tone.
"None of the gems had any! And nobody I'd see ever came here, how was I supposed to know?"
They could swear they hear Shinsha whisper something.
"Bort…" Dia's voice floats above the two. "…Do you only see former gems when you go out? You've never just gone to see what's around? Go exploring?"
"…No?"
The way Dia looks at them, they feel like they've done something wrong again. But Dia doesn't say anything and instead waves to a pair of Lunarians, signalling them to come over.
"You can pick one of the jellyfish. Or two, however many you want. They can help install a tank or a pool at your home, so you can keep them there. You'd just have to take care of them, but you already know all of that, right?"
This all feels like…a lot. A lot of…a lot. Without thinking Bort points at the jelly in Dia's arms and the latter stammers a little, handing it over to the workers.
Bort looks back down at the pond, the remaining residents floating peacefully. Peace, just like on Earth. The question bubbles up and makes its way out on its own. "Why?"
Dia sits down at the pond's edge -- Shinsa still between them -- and lets their legs dip into the water. They don't speak for a while. Bort doesn't press them.
"…When we fought on Earth, I didn't really win, did I? It was a draw, but it wasn't even that. You were rusty, and you let your guard down. Even after everything, I still wasn't stronger than you. I didn't even feel like I was equal to you."
Dia collects a new jelly and lets it float around their legs. "I tried to tell myself it didn't matter, now that we were Lunarians. And then I saw you yesterday and all I could think about was hurting you. I thought, 'there must be something wrong with me,' I was just going to be broken, despising you for eternity."
Bort doesn't bother saying that that they deserve that kind of ire. They know the other two would talk them down at this point.
"But then I pulled your arm off and I saw you. I saw you scared. Terrified, even. I don't think you ever looked so afraid and lost in your life, not even when you were born. It just wasn't in your nature. I guess, I finally realised what you must be going through. You're a Lunarian now, and so am I. We're exactly the same physically…there's truly nothing left about you for me to be angry at. And if I hold onto this and keep tormenting you, how am I any better than your old self?"
The question lingers in the air after Dia asks it; Bort can't answer, not like they expect they should. And maybe not everything needs a response. Maybe they should just let Dia speak their mind and not offer an opinion. That's how this all started anyway, wasn't it. Shinsha gently takes their hand and entwines their fingers together.
"It's not like I'm not still annoyed when I think back on it all. It's easier said than done to let go of the past, I suppose. But it hurts a little less than yesterday. And hopefully less tomorrow, too. Piece by piece, replacing bad memories with good ones." Dia looks over to them, and Bort feels something in the air. A gesture, an offer. Replace bad memories with good ones. Maybe that's what they need, too.
"You could--" Bort stops for a moment, but nothing bad happened today, so why not put themselves out there again? "Maybe, you could show us some more places around here we haven't seen before…?"
They look at Shinsha to make sure they're okay with that idea, and the gentle smile and fierce look that meets them fills them with such confidence; Shinsha is proud of them, believes in them. They then look past Shinsha to Dia and feel elated to see a smile on their sibling's face. Not a sad smile, not a tired smile, not a fake, scary smile. A genuine, bright smile. A real Dia smile, that they haven't seen in hundreds of years.
"That sounds nice," Dia says.
It's at this point a Lunarian approaches them, with one of the giant ones following behind, pushing a kind of cart with no sides, a tank with the selected jellyfish floating in resting on top.
"This is Wasp," the other Lunarian says. "He'll help bring this to your home."
Dia stands, and Bort follows, not knowing what else to do otherwise. They feel the water dripping from their arm; different than when they were a gem.
"I guess you'd better lead the way for him," Dia explains, with a very wrapping-up-the-conversation tone. It makes sense. Bort still doesn't really want Dia to come back to their home; Shinsha probably doesn't either. So then this is where they'll part ways.
Except it still doesn't feel right. Something is nagging in the back of Bort's mind. They still feel like they haven't done enough to earn the kind treatment Dia is giving them. Like they haven't said enough compared to Dia. They release Shinsha's hand one more time, stand in front of Dia, and open their mouth, hoping they know what they want to say.
"…I really am sorry, for everything."
Dia's smile doesn't fade. "I know you are, Bort, and I'll forgive you someday, someday soon, I hope. So you don't have to shatter yourself over it, okay?"
Bort nods, content with that, at least for now. Then they think of one other thing they want to say.
"Your music is amazing, whether you're a gem or not."
That one actually seems to take Dia aback for a moment, before they recover with a tiny giggle.
"Well then, maybe I'll keep writing songs after I call it quits. Just for you to listen to."
That. Wasn't quite what Bort was hoping for Dia to say in response, but they won't complain. "I'd like that…thanks, DiDi," they mumble, a smile finally pulling at their own lips, for the first time in Dia's presence.
The two say their farewells without any more ceremony, and Bort and Shinsha regain their bearings on the street, before leading Wasp back home. It's getting late.
Shinsha's hand finds Bort's, and the two lean into each other like it's the most natural thing to do…because it's the most natural thing to do. "Are you okay?" Shinsha asks.
"I'm okay…" Are they? They're not entirely sure. It's true, they don't feel any doubts or fears remaining. The outing went well -- better than they could have hoped -- and they might be able to have a relationship with their sibling as equals. But it's all so fresh in their mind. "Hm. I think I'm okay."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"…It's just hard to believe I didn't ruin things forever."
"Even if you did, nothing really lasts forever."
"Even with all the mistakes I made."
"We all made a lot of mistakes. We'll probably keep making them. I think Kongo once said that's one of the best parts of living. As long as we make sure to learn from them."
"Hm…"
"…"
"Shinsha."
"Yeah?"
As their partner turns their head, Bort leans forward, two pairs of lips meeting. A kiss, they remind themselves. It's soft, gentle, warm. Everything their previous kisses have been, but more. A million things that they don't think they'll ever have words to describe. Tiny movements between the two introduce new sensations to the mix that they want to experience again and again.
They part.
"Do you really think nothing can last forever?"
Shinsha smiles that bashful smile of theirs that Bort always found cute.
"Maybe some things can. If we work really hard at them."
And that's enough for them; Bort smiles in return. An easy gesture when they're with Shinsha, at ease. They focus back on the street, continuing the short journey back home, hand in hand, a tingle on their lips.
Maybe everything can be okay.