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“You can’t avoid him, you know.”
The voice coming from what apparently is a bit of luggage is a little disconcerting. “He’s going to be right there, and possible suicide mission or not, you’ll both need to face up to what just happened.” Veronica is right but I don’t want to think about that just now. Just now the ocean breeze is blowing across my face and I’m thinking about what just happened. I feel the way I feel after finishing a wonderful run, escaping and right after that high, maybe a little adrenaline still left, but that blood still coursing through every part of me. I haven’t felt so alive in so long.
“Five? Is everything alright?” Sam was startled, that slight concerned tinge to his voice, upbeat but ready to deal with whatever reason I might be here at this hour. It was dim and the ship floor was swaying but we were all used to that at this point. Sam had stepped out into the corridor outside his and Peter’s bunk, pulling the door slightly to, but I knew Peter was somewhere else with Janine right now. I had that feeling…I wasn’t sure why I had even come and knocked…but I knew…I looked at Sam and wished again I could speak. I just shook my head no and bit my lower lip. Bad habit of mine. I looked at his shoulder. We were so close together in this cramped hall, so close. Sam didn’t look quite awake, his hair was all mussed, the way he sort of looked sometimes when he’d been napping in the comms shack or had been watching Sara in the early days. He still had that innocent look to him, the uni student who had failed French. That was so long ago. His hand came over onto my shoulder. “Five?” I couldn’t. I couldn’t not. It had been years, years of this. Watching from afar. Surely he had to know…
Time seemed to slow down and speed up at the same time. I leaned in, my eyes met his, and I just…hesitantly at first, then I pulled him in with my mouth as I pushed him against the door, fumbling for the strange hatch doorknob. Sam was startled, then his hands came round me and he awkwardly but hungrily kissed back, we were pulling into each other trying to merge but like teenagers who had no idea what to do even though we were full adults who knew what to do…
“Ow!” Sam’s foot banged against the strange raised edge of the door. I stopped, startled, red faced and flushed, all the blood coursing everywhere. I flung the door open and stumbled into the bunk room, pulling Sam’s orange hoodie pocket. Sam grinned at me and stepped clumsily over the sill, a huge goofy grin on his face…”Five, hang on, I’m coming!” The room was small with two bunks, crew quarters. But now…now the reality and unreality sets in. Is Moonchild going to say something? No, there’s Sam, he’s smiling but it’s back to being like two awkward students at uni. “Uh, do you want to sit down and have a curly wurly or something? I might have one around here somewhere…oh, I know! One of the sailors traded me for a Perplexor comic, we could read that for a bit…I think it’s over here at my bunk, it’s been such a while, or I mean you could help me try to make sure I’ve got everything ready for tomorrow, well today nearly…” Sam looked at me, sort of nervous and then he leaned in, I leaned in…”Ow!” The ship hit some kind of wave and we banged together as he fell onto the bunk. I couldn’t help but giggle. “Now, Five, look here…” Sam tried to look aggrieved but then that grin came through and a giggle…and then…
“I’m sort of awkward around you now, Five. We’ve been here, and it’s been years now…and…well, you know…” he gestured sort of helplessly in the air. “I make jokes and things but I never know what to say except to tell you to come home safe to me.”
“You can’t avoid him. You’ll have to interact with him. I know probabilities and there is a 99.2768% chance that someone besides me will sort out that something happened between you.” The voice broke in on my thoughts. “Both of you have personalities which are likely to manifest slightly aberrant behavior.” I looked over and rolled my eyes, then realized that didn’t make much sense given Veronica currently occupied essentially a briefcase. Then I wondered how she’d sorted it out.
“Five?” A hand gently on my shoulder as I looked over the rail. “It does look like it’s going to be a beautiful morning, doesn’t it? Do me a favor? I know we can’t talk about it right now, I mean, not that you can talk about it…but…you know…stay safe out there.” Then the hand was gone.