Work Text:
Mending Fences
Daniel opened the passenger door of his grandmother’s car. They had just stopped in front of an old apartment building and the woman turned to him, worry etched on her face.
“Daniel, are you sure you should be doing that?” she once again asked, not caring about the number of times her grandson had already told her he was not backing off.
“Down worry, Grandma, I promise I won’t be long.”
“You don’t want me to go with you?” she tried once last time and just sighed when Daniel answered negatively.
The young boy got out of the car and, walking with more determination than any boy his age should be able to, made his way to the building door. Truth to be told, he wasn’t so sure what he was doing to do once he was face to face with the person he was coming to see, but he knew he had to make things right and he wasn’t going to give up just because he was beginning to worry about how he would be welcomed and whether or not the man was going to be receptive.
He looked at the mailboxes and rapidly found the name he was looking for. Memorizing the floor number, he went to the lift, pressed the right button and waited. He could do that. There was no reason to be afraid. Alright, so, he didn’t know much about the man he was going to talk to, but he knew he was a federal agent and, technically, a friend of a friend. That was all that mattered, right ?
Finally, he found himself in front of the door and he took a deep breath, before releasing it and ringing the bell. He really hoped someone was home, and alone, because he was already stressed enough without having to have that particular conversation in front of an audience. He probably would chicken out and it just wasn’t an acceptable option, not when it was the only way he could thank his friend.
Thankfully, his prayers were answered and, before he knew it, the door had opened, revealing a man in his early forties.
“Can I help you?” the man asked, raising an eyebrow, probably wondering what exactly a child was doing at his door.
“Are you Billy Cooper?” Daniel asked, swallowing.
The man frowned before answering positively. He was curious to know exactly who that kid was and what he was doing there, actually looking for him, but his questions were answered soon enough, if not exactly the way he thought. To say he was surprised was an understatement.
“My name’s Daniel. I wanted to talk to you about… hum, about Don,” he said, biting his lower lip, realizing how stupid that sounded.
Coop’s eyes widened at that. Alright, he certainly wasn’t expecting that. He stepped back and invited the kid in ; he couldn’t help it, he was very curious as to what he wanted to say about Don and what exactly was the relationship between him and his ex-partner, ex-best friend, because he had certainly never heard of Daniel before today.
Daniel entered but politely declined the invite to sit down. He had promised his grandmother he wouldn’t be long, after all, so he had to make it quick.
“So, who are you exactly and what do you want to tell me about Eppes?”, Coop asked, easing donw on his couch.
“I… My mom died and I stayed with Don during the investigation, ‘til my grandma could take me with her.”
He paused, trying to find the right words to say what he had to say, without looking as if he was getting involved into things that weren’t his problems in the first place.
“I really need to tell you something,” he began and quickly realized he had Coop’s rapt attention.
***
Special Agent Billy Cooper entered the LA office quickly, determinedly, so he wouldn’t be able to change his mind because he quite frankly didn’t want that to happen. If all of what had happened recently had been a misunderstanding from the start, then he certainly wanted to know it and see if there was a possibility of sorting everything out smoothly. Maybe what he had thought completely lost was salvageable after all. He would be happy if that was the case because, even though he had refused to admit it, even to himself, it had been messing up with his mind, big time, and messing up with his work, which had been noticed by his current partner.
Eventually reaching the right part on the federal building, he knocked softly on the conference room open door, eyes darting around, trying to locate a familiar face. Thankfully, it happened soon enough.
Agent David Sinclair immediately recognized Coop as the agent who had worked with the team a few months ago, helping them during their manhunt.
“Hey, Cooper!”
Coop smiled, an easy smile that didn’t reach his eyes, but would be convincing enough for anyone who didn’t really care. “Hey Sinclair, you’ve seen Don?”
It wasn’t David who answered, but Megan. She may not have known Coop, but it was evident enough that David knew him and was apparently on good terms with him. That meant he was okay in her books and it wasn’t as if anyone could come into a federal building anyway.
“He went home,” she informed him. “Megan Reeves,” she added afterwards, introducing herself to the new comer, holding out her hand, which he shook.
“Billy Cooper,” he answered. “To his dad’s?”
“Nah, his flat,” David countered. “Good thing you’re here, by the way. You may be able to find out what’s going on with him. He’s been kinda out of it for a while now, and he doesn’t really talk to any of us.”
“What do you mean?” he asked, concern for his friend bleeding through; in their line of job, a little out of it could easily turn into a disaster of epic proportions.
“There is something bothering him,” Megan answered, the behavior analyst taking over. “It’s quite evident. But he refuses to acknowledge anything’s wrong. I think he may have talked about it with a witness during one of our cases. A kid. He has been acting a bit differently since then. Maybe you will have more luck. It’s probably easier to open up to someone he doesn’t work with every day. People tend to be more private if there is a chance it could change their working relationship, especially since he’s the boss.”
Cooper was able to keep an impassive face, thanks to his training, but he knew better than anyone what was on Don’s mind. Of course, he certainly wasn’t going to inform any of the team about that. It certainly wasn’t any of their business, unless Don decided to make it so. After hearing all that, though, it was clear he hadn’t.
“Thanks for telling me,” he acknowledged. “I’m gonna try and find out what’s up.”
Tilting his head to say his goodbye, he left the office and went back to his car. It was high time to talk to Don, face to face, so the possibility of misunderstandings that came with written communication would be erased. He made the trip as fast as he could, without breaking any speed limit, so as to not chicken out and, much too soon for his liking, he was there, parking in front of Don’s appartement building.
Billy sighed. He opened up the door and walked straight to the entrance, taking the stairs instead of the lift, just to clear his head and put off the inevitable. Of course, it only served to give him to minutes at most but, at that point, it was already more than enough.
Finally, he pressed the doorbell and waited. There was no going back from that moment on, and it was a good thing. After a few seconds, he heard Don on the other side of the door, walking towards it, and he braced himself for the shock of seeing his friend after so long.
Obviously, Don wasn’t expecting him, and it was written all over his face. Billy could see that the man didn’t seem to know whether his being here was a good or a bad thing. Of course, considering their last communication, it wasn’t really a surprise. Billy also registered the bottle of whisky in his hand but, thankfully, it was almost full.
“Billy?” Don asked, his voice shaky enough that he knew he had already quite a bit of alcohol in his blood, without being totally trashed.
“Can I come in?”
Don stepped back quickly, allowing Coop to come inside, closing the door behind him, still stunned to see him after his last letter. He had been so certain he would never see his friend again, not unless one their case required it. Yet there he was, and Don had no idea how to act. Never before had he felt self-conscious around Billy.
“You’re going to stay standing there all day?” Coop asked, jolting Don from his thoughts and he looked at him, finding him already sitting on his couch.
Don shook his head and sat down at his side, swallowing, trying to find something to say.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, both curiosity and hope badly concealed in his voice.
Coop looked at him, really looked this time, and he didn’t like what he was seeing. And from what little he had gathered from David and Megan, he had been like this since the case involving Daniel, which coincided with his last letter’s arrival. Shit!
“Came to see you,” he said simply. “Didn’t like how things ended.”
It was the truth. Granted, he wasn’t certain he would have actually come without Daniel’s prompting. He had thought Don didn’t care, when he had stayed completely silent. Now, he began to see that there has been something else under all of this.
“I’m sorry,” Don interrupted quickly. “For not answering, for not trying to make things better. I didn’t know how, so I just kept putting it oof. I’m bad at that, Coop. You know I’m bad at any kind of relationship. I didn’t mean for it to go that far and then I saw your last letter and I thought..”
Don didn’t know how to finish that sentence. He didn’t need to, though. That was the first reason it would have been a better choice to have that conversation face to face all along. They communicated better that way.
“I know. You made a friend who decided to make a house call to me,” he chuckled, remembering the way Daniel had pleaded for Billy to go to LA, all the while knowing that Don had absolutely no idea he was there in the first place. “And Sinclair told me you haven’t been focused. That’s dangerous, Donnie.”
He couldn’t help it. He had been a mentor to Don, when he had fist come to fugitive recovery. He still sometimes found himself falling into the role of the teacher and he certainly couldn’t let that go unadressed.
“I know,” Don said, a touch of a smile on his lips at hearing the old nickname, which he would usually have balked at. “What… what friend?”
Don frowned. He was fairly sure he didn’t know anyone who could have gone there, especially without him noticing anything.
“Little boy. Very determined. Came with his grandmother.”
Don couldn’t prevent the look of utter shock on his face. Daniel went to Coop? He had barely known the kid. Sure, they had stayed in close quarter for a while and he had talked to him, maybe more than to anyone else, but for the boy to go and look for a perfect stranger? He tried to articulate something, but no sound left his throat.
“Yep, Daniel came to me and told me what happened. Don… not all of this was become of my letter. We both know that. It may have been the last straw, but there must have been something else, before that. Come on, talk to me…”
Don swallowed. Of course, Billy was right. There had been way too much, for far too long. But he couldn’t talk about it, not even to Coop. Especially not to Coop.
“You don’t’ have to keep everything in all the time. You don’t have to stay strong all the time.”
“But I do!” Don exclaimed, suddenly angry. “You don’t understand! I have to be strong for Charlie, for Dad. They are counting on me to be strong. And so do the rest of the team. I’m their boss. I’m the one they are supposed to rely on when they are in trouble. If I stop being strong, I…”
He cut himself, because he didn’t know. He didn’t know what would happen if he stopped being strong, even for just one moment. However, he wasn’t sure he could afford to find out.”
“That’s why you stopped talking to me. Why you didn’t know how to talk to me anymore, isn’t it? Because you know that with me, the dynamics are reversed. That you could let go and you got afraid you would.”
Coop understood everything more clearly now. He understood why things had been so strained between them, suddenly, and he almost groaned out lout. It was so stupid. Why the hell didn’t Don understand he was allowed to be human. That the world wouldn’t suddenly stop spinning just because he stopped carrying its weight, all by himself, for a little while.
“I’m not afraid,” Don countered, indigned.
“Yes, you are. You are because you think that if you let me help you, you won’t be able to be superman for everyone else anymore. And that’s just stupid. Do you think you’re doing anyone a favor by running yourself into the ground? By stretching yourself so thin? You’re headed straight towards a burnout or a break down. You need to let go for a while, to stop being strong. You know I will be there to catch you and then you can be everyone here again, okay. You just need to let me help you.”
Don was looking at Billy as if he had never seen him before. Yes, of course, he had had the occasion to see Billy’s more gentle side, before, sometimes, mostly with kids. But he had never heard him talk quite like this, so freely, and he blinked rapidly because he couldn’t break down again. He wasn’t going to cry in front of Coop, no matter how true his words rang, no matter how much he hoped that Billy understanding meant that all was forgive and that things were okay between them.
“I…”
“Come on, Eppes. Just admit that you don’t have to be superman all the time, not with me.”
Don closed his eyes and nodded, his throat stinging with the effort not the shed tears. They wouldn’t come, he knew. Even agreeing to let Billy help, he wasn’t going to be able to let go so easily, so completely. Not after all this time. He just hoped Billy would understand.
He was still musing on that, when he felt a warm hand at the base of his neck, not doing anything, merely resting there, proving to him that he wasn’t alone anymore. He let himself lose his balance, tilting forwards, until his forehead could rest again Billy’s solid shoulder and he breathed in deeply, inhaling his friend’s unique scent and letting it calm him down.
“Stay a few days,” he murmured hoarsely. “I will catch you up.”