Chapter Text
Chapter 2
Shikamaru was born into expectations. He was born completely shadowed in wisps of black shadows marking him the next in line.
The Nara were favored by the Shadows, some more than others. Shikamaru stood out in this regard, born almost glowing with yin chakra.
He came into the world crying as most do. It was nothing out of the ordinary. After all, being molded by yin chakra while being created was hardly an easy task. The shadows seem to sense this too as they were at his every beck and call. It’s been centuries since a Nara was so synced with their natural form. There was no doubt in anyone’s mind who the next clan leader would be.
Of course, this universal Nara thought only solidified itself during the naming ceremony, the leader of the ancestral deer giving their blessing, naming him as ‘Shika’, naming him the next in line.
Then, with a suddenness, he would not stop crying. At first, it was thought to be residual trauma from the Kyuubi attack, only it did not stop. If he was not crying, it was simply because he was sleeping. He slept often.
But the older he got, the more worried Shikaku and Yoshino were. The little Nara seemed to always be in agony and the helplessness of being a parent was…hard.
Shikaku takes him to Inoichi. The Yamaka, Nara, and Akimichi were tied close, having joined Konoha at the same time during the foundation years and even having an alliance prior to that. It is Inoichi that confirms what he has been thinking but wishing was wrong. His son was in pain. However, he learns the unexpected. His son was hungry, to the point of hunger pains. At first, a sense of confusion filled Shikaku’s mind. Shikamaru was fed often. Sure, they were not Akimichi but he received more than supplemental nutrition. He was the next clan leader after all.
The answer struck him harshly. His son’s soulmate was starving, constantly. There was nothing he could do about this as a father. It would be an impossible task to find the one kid starving the whole world, a world that was highly corrupt and broken. Sure, the chances of the child being from outside the village are not the highest… but it was impossible to tell. Shikamaru will simply have to fight through this on his own.
…
Somehow, Shikamaru grew up easygoing. Life seemed to pass him by and he could not manage to care. He spent his time on the endless glass of Konoha, eyes to the sky as though he wished to float through the cloudy blue ocean as well. When the winds flowed through his hair, his eyes slipped closed and the intimate pain of living seemed just a bit easier. Sleep was a cure.
As soon as he learned to walk, he learned to disappear, slipping like a shadow. Out of sight, he found himself often in the Nara forest among his ancestors in their chosen form as deer. The forest helped ease the aching in his chest. But only just…
Shikamaru’s childhood centered around almost accidents. He almost trips while walking in the forest but the his shadows catch him. He almost cuts himself while being forced to help his mom in the kitchen but a dark tendril wraps around his finger just in time. He is not supposed to know pain and yet he knows it in an intricate way.
He knows it in the sharp pains that disappeared just as quickly as they came. He used to cry in the beginning, for the one pain that never went away. It would burn his stomach like nothing else for days on end. He used to worry that it would burn him away, till he was nothing more than ashes. As he grew, he realized it was hunger and that eventually it faded. But, he never allowed it to leave his mind.
His mind was always racing even when he didn’t want to, thoughts connecting as strings, forming complicated webs. So, putting it together was easy to do early on. After all, even among the smartest, he stood above the crowd. It was hardly anything to be proud of, knowing his soulmate had hunger gnawing at their soul.
He went to the most knowledgeable man he knew and asked. His father as always did not hide the weight of the truth. He learned his early history : stories of himself, younger and crying. It made him angry, so much so, he felt it simmer like lava in his chest. Yet, what burned the hottest was the impotence knowledge enkindled. There was nothing he could do about his soulmate’s pain so he would do his part. He will not add to their struggle. Shikamaru Nara was not a burden.
…
The first time he sees him, it is a blur of yellow. He hardly even gave it much thought. But then, he sees him again and again. He was always running either from someone or on his way to cause trouble. The grin on his face is hard to miss. When he painted the Hokage faces, Shikamaru decided he liked him.
Only, when Shikamaru turned to his knowledgeable father, he received avoidance for the first time.
As clan heir, you must keep your distance. Naruto Uzumaki is of the village.
Further questions seemed foolish given the hard tone of his father, one he had never heard before. He knew then… there was something special about the sunshine boy and he would get to the bottom of it. And if he had another agenda, it was not worth being noted.
…
Patience was a working struggle for Shikamaru so the start of the Academy was just as prompt as he needed it to be. With so many first years, they end up split between two classes at random. His luck, the wishy-washy thing, placed him with Choji and Ino but away from Naruto. Academy was boring.
But sometimes, he would see him; A flash of yellow and orange, like the calendula flowers that bloomed in his patch of grass in the Nara forest. He stood out brightly against the other drab students with boundless energy. He was loud. His voice carried to the ends of the building as he yelled and cursed freely. He seemed liberated. He shined.
Naruto managed to keep him distracted. At least, until they started sparring. He hated sparring. As a clan heir, it was expected of him. However, the Nara were not known for their hand to hand combat so he often gave his lessons a slip.
At first, it was quite manageable. After all, his shadows don’t allow him to get hurt anyways. Practice with kunai was easy enough. His shadows were quick to protect him from any potential knicks. Not to mention, the Nara focused most on chakra control and manipulation.
But, even he could not avoid getting hit forever. He saw it coming. Sasuke was one of the best in their class and no one seemed able to beat him. Shikamaru always managed to team up with Choji but Iruka-sensei changed the pairings.
Even his shadows, for all their protection, were no match for the countless hours Sasuke had practiced. Sasuke swung his leg throwing off his balance and flipped him downwards. He felt his ankle twist and felt the sharpness of a break. The pain hit him in sudden sharpness and he felt his eyes tear up just a bit. He never had been hurt like this and the throbbing pain reminded him of his failure at every turn. He often prided himself on being able to accomplish what he put his mind to. And yet here he was, causing his already suffering soulmate even more trouble.
Iruka-sensei rushed in, asking him unnecessary questions but his mind could hardly focus. Shame coiled in his stomach like a snake making it harder to breathe by the second. He could only nod and shake his head before he was taken to the hospital and placed into crutches. As someone who has never been truly hurt, he was surprised at the constant ache an ankle fracture caused. He began to worry even more then. His soulmate’s pain was always quick and sharp. The only time it ever stuck around was when they were hungry. Even that hardly ever happened anymore. Does this mean they were in pain even when he could no longer feel it?
He asked—begged really— for a healer. Even when his own soulmate was in pain, he was quick to cut it off. It was the least he could do. His father disagreed, claiming foreign chakra in the pathways of a child should be avoided when possible. Shikamaru called bullshit.
…
His father was not particularly helpful on the subject of soulmates in the past but he couldn't help but ask him.
“When mom cuts her hand on the knife, does it hurt only in the beginning or until it heals?” He saw the furrow of his father's brows before he answered. So, it was a weird question to ask, meaning the answer was obvious.
“...Until it heals,” Shikaku answered after some hesitation. He was gearing up to subtly interrogate but Shikamaru would not let him.
“Oh. Is it like that for everyone?” He asked casually, like he does not need these answers, like he did not eat up any information he could get his hands on.
“Is it that way for you?” His father’s knowing look forced a quick retreat from Shikamaru. He could not keep the blush from covering his face. It seems he and his soul match were an anomaly. He did not miss the calculating eyes on his father as he hobbled away. He ruminated on the incident so often, he almost does not notice the increased presence of a certain blond in his life. Almost.
…
Naruto seems to think he is sneakier than he actually is. It was cute in a way and he should maybe confront him about it… but Shikamaru found that he does not mind. They were curious about each other and Shikamaru was not going to break first.
The continuous presence of Naruto helped put a small balm on Shikamaru’s increasing chagrin. While his ankle healed, he was not forced to spar and instead focused on other things like chakra control and sleeping.
His break ended too soon and Shikamaru found himself in the midst of practice. During the months he took to heal, his classmates had gotten better and he had stagnated. He found himself frustrated day in and day out by more than just Sasuke. Maybe he should just quit the ninja thing… It's a drag.
However, the potential disappointment from his father and the possibility of seeing Naruto less (Choji as well) prompted him to simply start working on his speed and sparing ability even more, just enough for him to sit in the middle of the roster in terms of ability. No need to try too hard after all… if he is sore, his soulmate will be too.
Naruto’s increased glances and appearances did not help his concentration. He found himself looking at him more too. He could not help but notice the disdain most students and even teachers had for him. It just did not make sense. If he is so important to the village, shouldn't he be treated better?
Weeks of waiting on Naruto tested his patience( working progress). His curiosity won. He was not going to get answers from his father and he wasn’t sure his mom knew anything. All Choji knew was that he was supposed to stay away from him. If all the kids were told this, something is there. He will understand it.
Shikamaru rested, waiting for him under the shaded tree in their reclusive spot after the academy. The rustle of some leaves announced a certain someone’s appearance. He kept his eyes closed lulling Naruto into a sense of false security. Maybe he should have planned what he wanted to say but he seemed to lose control of his mouth.
“Why do you keep staring at me?” Shikamaru practically wanted to hit himself for the way he said it. He did not even get another chance before Naruto flushed, eyes wide.
“Um… Sorry!” Naruto was gone before he even got a chance to ask all the questions he had. Shikamaru pondered for a bit, unsure if he should follow. Eventually his curiosity won out again and he chased down his… acquaintance.
However, he did not even get the chance to reach him before he was struck with a sharp pain on his side. As always, it faded as quickly as it came but it was soon followed with continuous hits. He lost sight of his surroundings for a minute until he heard it, a heart wrenching sob.
He looked up to see Naruto getting beat, each hit coinciding with each sharp pain he was feeling himself. His brain put it together so quickly he did not even realize he was speaking until the words were out.
“Stop! You are hurting him! Us,” Shikamaru shouted, his voice strained as he took it all in. Naruto looked over at him but Shikamaru could hardly even look back as an unprecedented rage filled him. He manages to stand up with his arm clutched on his side.
“You will leave my soulmate alone if you know what is good for you.” Shikamaru is aware that he is easily outnumbered and a child as well. However, he was never alone. He never has. His shadows seemed to flare from around him growing into a mass of shadow. He heard the growling of shadows begging to free themselves, and he felt bloodlust, thick and rusted. He could take them and even he could not, as clan heir, he has his people behind him.
The civilians seemed to realize this possibility too as they soon ran leaving just Shikamaru and Naruto to themselves. Naruto looked at him with wide eyes before looking away.
“I’m sorry. I-I didn’t want them to hurt you. I w-wasnt sure and-” Naruto mumbles completely defeated. His loudness that had stood out so proudly to Shikamru was gone. His shoulders hunched as though he expected blows from Shikamaru as well.
The utter shame and anger that filled Shikamaru made all his past failures nothing more than child’s play. He felt the beginnings of tears prickling as he realized just how much this blasted village has beat Naruto down, his soulmate.
“No. This is my fault. I should have put it together. Some genius huh…” Shikamaru said self-deprecatingly, ashamed he had not connected the now glaring dots. He crouched down along Naruto’s side as he took in what the civilians did. His revenge would be planned and spiteful. It was one thing to feel it. It was another to see it too. He reached gentle hands forward, cupping Naruto’s face in his hands, brushing the healing knot. This seems like the last straw for Naruto as he gasped and began crying again.
“I’m sorry I'm your soulmate. I k-know you wouldn’t… how could you want...Sorry. Sorry-” His sobs took over, stopping him from finishing. He removed himself from Shikamaru's arms to curl in on himself.
“Naruto, no. Please, stop apologizing” His voice cracked as he fought back tears as well. His soulmate was in his own village and he left him alone to be broken like this. “You did nothing wrong. Of course I’m happy you are my soulmate. I’ve wanted to find you for so long. You don't have to hurt anymore. Life is a drag but I’ll make it better, okay? You and me.” He reached forward again, drawing Naruto into a hug. Unexplained relief flows into his Naruto stiffens and then relaxes into him.
“How do you even know my name?” Naruto mumbled into Shikamaru’s chest after the tears seemed to stop flowing.
Shikmaru chuckles, “Of course I know your name. I’ve noticed you all year. I wanted to talk to you but I did not know what to say. It was troublesome. I finally talk to you and I scare you away.” He laughed sheepishly. God, he was pathetic.
“N-No! You did not scare me. You can’t. I’m the monster here,” Naruto said, affronted.
“Who told you that?!” Shikamaru’s anger erupted from him. He knew Naruto was hardly treated well around the village but a monster… What the hell is going on?
“Everyone knows I’m a monster. You should too. Sorry.” Naruto pulled away, looking down again. The defeat in Naruto’s eyes froze his heart. He might have failed in his first promise but he will never fail Naruto. This… he will do right
“Stop apologizing. You are not a monster no matter what anyone says. If you are anything, you are mine. And I'm yours.” Naruto’s eyes fill with tears again. Shikamaru saw the doubt in his eyes nevertheless. He will erase that if it's the last thing he does.
“Okay.”