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pastor, actually a hitman

Summary:

zoro is a hitman under the alias of 'father john' at a church. sanji comes in for confessions. father john is more than happy to hear his confession and give some advice.

(lapslock)

Notes:

i wrote this ages ago to pass some time with my own characters. i just found it in my docs after having the BIGGEST writers block for my parallel universe zosan fic so i decided to switch up the names and post for a change of pace lol :') hope you enjoy this small ficlet, i havent read it in properly in probably 3 years so you be the judge <3

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

tedious, stressful nights dragged for what felt like hours. Constantly alert, even the smallest of presence known; in frame of mind. it was draining, but work was work. deep knots built themselves within zoro's muscles, centred in his shoulders and behind his thighs. though the soreness caused deep, searing pain, it was also something akin to a prize. the dull residual ache the physical labour left felt somewhat pleasurable. it reminded him of his success- urging the young man to take on more and feel that throb all over again.

 

working as a pastor was quite difficult. since zoro was still young, he used his time around the church to help the staff with various odd jobs. it boosted his credibility by a lot, making him locally known. this included anything amongst ordering or moving shipments, chairs, tables, crates, anything necessary to run a church. the lifting would come to benefit him for his night job, however it was still a pain in the ass to actually do. as long as he had a strong connection with the community, everything else would fall in place.

 

although the days were lackadaisical, zoro found himself looking forward to a certain day each week. confession day. the church he worked for held one on one confessions every saturday, in hopes the confessors would return on sunday with a clear conscience. zoro was exceptional at giving sincere advice. in fact, the children who would usually be forced to attend church with their families would come willingly after speaking with the mysterious green haired man. 

 

he found it ludicrous. indeed, he was a hypocrite, two faced, a genuinely horrific creature. he gave advice which he did not use himself, opting to make his circumstances worse. calling him human was nothing short of a compliment. 





.





iron-clad dress shoes clacked against the smooth, tacky marbled floor of the church. zoro wore his 'signature' warm smile- it didn't reach his eyes nor did it hold any candor- however it seemed to convince all who it was forwarded to. maybe it was his overall handsome appearance which caused everyone to melt? whatever it was, it made zoro's job easier tenfold. 

 

his smile was not completely forced this great saturday morning. it was 6am sharp. his calloused hands forced open the great wooden doors of the church, their history groaning at the lack of oil between its hinges. blood rushed through his ears. zoro came forthwith from his late night job, not getting even a wink of sleep. rolling his shoulders earned a few pops of relief for his back and a light sigh escaped his lips. 

 

a large presence lurked behind him, probably within a metre of the altar. as if on instinct, he began to twist from his position facing the main, empty street before the church. he opted not to, an unrested and illogical brain urging him to speak instead. 

 

"what brings you here so early, father?" 

 

he spoke with a deep rumble in his voice, a hint of a smirk laced in the undertones. finally turning, he locked eyes with the man exactly where he estimated him to be. they wore similar uniforms, zoro's one darker in colour. the man seemed surprised, his expression soon resolved into a neutral one.

 

"you never cease to amaze me,"

 

zoro's smirk instantly dissipated. it was replaced with a hard, cold yet expressionless stare. the other froze at this. his throat began to constrict under the influence of unreadable fear.

 

"it seems you didn't get much sleep, john. try sleeping in the office for an hour, i'll wake you when members start coming in for confessions."

 

zoro chuckled at his response. taking agonisingly slow steps, he travelled the long distance between himself and the latter. he slipped a hand on the man's shoulder, caressing it softly. 

 

"how about i make a confession instead, usopp?"

 

he visibly gulped, the sudden tension in the room contrasting zoro's less-than-tender actions, face was unreadable, completely neutral.

 

"well. confession starts soon. i suggest you begin preparing for it if you don't need to rest. then, i'll be at my office if you need me." 

 

he took three uncoordinated steps back before falling into a solidified consecutive rhythm. the fear in his urgency while walking up the stairs towards his office brought zoro mild satisfaction; the fact he has no real evidence to class zoro as an evil menace, yet feel that as nothing but truth was the main cause of that elevating feeling.





.

 




"i'm here for confession?" 

 

a deep, crisp voice stated after making eye contact with zoro. the pastor smiled sweetly at the unfamiliar man standing awkwardly at the door. he ushered the man up to the second floor where his office stayed.

 

"come this way, we shall begin whenever you're ready."

 

the short journey halted before the deep brown door of zoro's temporary office. they entered, the pastor sitting behind his desk. the man sat opposite him, looking stiff and nervous. the pastor studied the man before him. he was tall in stature, short blonde hair and probably lean muscled based on the weight of his steps and how he behaves. zoro spoke first, saving the man any embarrassment of starting the conversation.

 

"i'm pastor john, but people just call me john here. you're free to call me father or just john. what's your name?"

 

his shoulders grew lax, making eye contact with the pastor.

 

"i'm sanji."

 

zoro smiled once again.

 

"may i ask how old you are?"

 

"i'm 21."

 

"we're the same age then. please be comfortable."

 

"quite young to be a pastor." 

 

"i am." "enough with the introductions now, what do you wish to confess?"

 

"i've killed someone" 

 

the words thickened the tension in the air. zoro's eyes hardened- leaning back into the smooth cushioning of his chair. trying his hardest not to burst into a fit of laughter, he only managed to suppress a smile. warm electric rushed through his veins at the phantom pulse of one of many dying men's hearts in his hands. blood lust seeped into his brain like adrenaline, the sweet satisfaction of severing a man's head and sending it back to his client in a silver box eating away at his calm demeanor.

 

"oh."

 

an uneasy feeling hardened at the pit of sanji's stomach. regret instantly started to swell at the base of his throat, rendering his voice almost unheard.

 

"why? are you afraid of me father?"

 

zoro then let his smile show.

 

"of course not. we are all children of god, are we not?"

 

"of course, father."

 

"i believe it's a common misconception about christianity that the bible is god's word. it's not. in reality it was written by people who had nothing to do with jesus or his companions. we have no definitive proof that jesus, god or any of the people in the bible even existed. it's pure speculation, humans making up lore to rid themselves of the fear of the unknown. many cultures of different ages had their own stories and legends because they couldn't explain the world they lived in. now we can, and people aren't afraid enough to hold on to speculation anymore.

 

those in power have changed the bible to create or try to manipulate societal laws and beliefs forever. it's human instinct. the bible is very much a 'take what you will' type of thing. that's why there's so many different types of christianity."

 

his smile only grew wider as he spoke, his deep rooted insanity growing rapidly and leaking out unhinged and brutal. a sweat broke on the blonde man's nape, a lump forming in the base of his throat.

 

"are you saying religion isn't real?"

 

zoro inhaled sharply, willing his instinctive urge to strangle the man in front of him down for the moment. 

 

focus.

 

"not necessarily. i have no proof to go against it. every lie is based on a truth. therefore I'm neutral"

 

they sat deeply in silence for a short while. the pastor continued.

 

"humans aren't moral creatures. they are truly the most evil to curse the earth yet. humanity has been brainwashed into thinking we're kind beings, when in reality the government is only making sure to turn us as weak as they possibly can. execution is still legal in some countries. civilisations who live without contact to the vast world would kill an outsider on sight. it was only a few hundred years ago when people would gather in public to watch someone lose their lives.

 

killing someone is no easy feat though. the human body is extremely resilient and can withstand more than people would think. it's just what we were brought up believing. and who knows? maybe you killed some human scum and rid us of some sort of negative impact. maybe you did the world a favour. who knows what situation you were in."

 

"what you say is very controversial, father. many would just call me a murderer."

 

"you could say i have very logical opinions. and why would i follow a religion which hates it's creators so much? those who wrote it at the time it was first published probably caused an insane amount of deaths."

 

"you have a point there. even if said point is a terrifying one." 

 

"fear comes and goes. if you weren't afraid, you wouldn't have even stepped foot in this place, and i wouldn't have talked to you. and from this point forward will be when it goes."  "if you don't mind me asking, do you regret killing?"

 

"no father"

 

"then were you in a situation where it was the only means of survival?"

 

"instinct took over at that point, father. i couldn't think properly and i only wanted to protect myself. at the same time i was filled with rage. rage at that man. if i didn't kill him, my whole life would be riddled with anxiety of whether he will find me again."

 

"what did the man do to you, sanji?"

 

"he imprisoned me, starved me, beat me, caused my mothers death. that's to put it lightly"

 

"then i'm glad you did it. you're still alive. that means god intended for this to happen. and god wanted this. rest assured, sanji."

 

an intense sigh of relief forced itself out of sanji's lungs. his world seemed lighter and his face seemed more relaxed. 

 

"i want to ask you one more thing, sanji." 

 

managing eye contact once again, zoro continued.

 

"did you find pleasure in killing him?"

 

instantly, a seething aura filled the compact office. zoro's eyes grew all the more piercing and relentless as sanji recoiled into his seat. the confessor couldn't pinpoint the meaning behind the forwardness in the pastor's expression; he had a strong urge to ignore it. waves of gut-wrenching anxiety flooded sanji's rationale. 

 

"uhm, i can't say i did."

 

with that, the pastor's gaze broke; his expression softened.

 

"why? didn't he deserve it?"

 

sanji's face dropped.

 

"did you say why?"

 

zoro smirked, clearing his throat and letting his soothing voice glide through the confessors' delicate ears.

 

"well, if you rid the world of a monster, that means you did yourself and other potential victims some good. one less scumbag to worry about. it's all in god's plan anyways. so does it not make you feel good to benefit god?" 

 

the twisted grin disfiguring the pastor's face instantly froze whatever blood was left pumping in sanji's veins after the incident. petrified, he sat stiff on the wooden chair unable to move despite his mind screaming for him to run. 

 

abrasive ringing cut through the morbid silence, signalling the end of the session. the confessor let his breath go, releasing all the tension from his shoulders as he forcefully relaxed his muscles. he must have subconsciously held his breath as the aura of the room took a turn for the worst.

 

schooling his expression once again, zoro wore his usual hollow smile, bringing the ring of the alarm to a halt. sharply inhaling, he made eye contact with sanji one last time.

 

"i'm glad you came here today, my son. i pray you find peace with yourself as god will surely forgive you for your sins."

 

he pushed himself from the uncomfortable chair with clammy palms, urging his usually strong legs not to buckle beneath the pressure of the room. gently sighing, he faked a small smile,

 

"thank you for your time, sanji. hope to see your face around more often."

 

he left.

Notes:

well that was it. hope you enjoyed!

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