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Dean woke up with a shock for what felt like the hundredth time that night, hearing footsteps that he recognized almost instantly. Finally, after ten whole months, nearly the same time heaven brutally rejected him and zapped him back to earth and to the bunker physically uninjured but mentally scarred. He stumbled to his feet and ran to the kitchen, where he found Castiel, alive and healthy standing there in his trenchcoat, the original one. Dean grabbed the lapels of his coat and leaned in to only be shoved away with angelic strength and laughed at, Cas’ serene partial smile twisting into a horrifyingly cruel grin.
“I didn’t really think you would believe any of the bullshit I said before the empty but yet, your stupidity always found a way to amaze me, Winchester” Cas said with a sneer.
“Cas I-“ Dean started.
“You weren’t ever worth anything to me, why would I, a soldier of heaven be in love with you, a fucked up, desperate, faggot with daddy issues, a human no less” he continued with that new, ever present sneer, not even stopping for a breath, as sure sign he was less human than he ever had before.
Cas walked lazily across the kitchen to Dean’s crumpled form, letting his blade fall from the ether and into his hand as he went. He brought his hand far into the air and hit Dean, the sickening crunch of his jaw breaking seeming to only satisfying Cas for a moment as he struck Dean again, breaking his nose this time.
By some stroke of sick, twisted luck, that was it, the dream stopped suddenly at that very moment, leaving Dean aching. He heard Sam shouting his name from the bunker library but Dean couldn’t summon the ability care anymore and simply rolled over and covered his head with the nearest pillow. Unluckily for him, Sam wasn’t going to give up that easily and started banging on Dean’s door, after a few seconds of the obnoxiously loud noise, he shoved the door open with a final bang.
“So get this-“ Sam started.
“Jesus fuck Sam, can you calm down for, like, two seconds, it’s literally whatever the hell in the morning and I just wanna get some goddamn sleep” Dean groaned angrily while gesturing at the clock on his nightstand.
“Ok first of all, it’s the afternoon, not the morning, and second of all, I think I found a way to bring back Cas” Sam said with impressive patience.
“You think?” Dean said incredulously, not wanting to get his hopes up just to be torn right back down again.
“Well, I’m like, 90 percent sure at this point and we need to start working on it ASAP if we’re ever going to get him”
Dean’s eyes widened and he pulled himself out of bed at record speed and immediately regretted how fast he moved at the very second he remembered that he was still working off the hangover of a lifetime.
“Ow” Dean groaned dully.
“How the hell’s this supposed to work, isn’t the empty supposed to be impenetrable.” Dean barked at Sam.
“Well, Rowena managed to find a spell that nobody’s ever heard of before, in some really old witches grimoire. She says that the witch wanted to share the spell with all of the witches of her time so that everyone could get in and out of the empty for all kinds of reasons, but death, the original, really didn’t like that, and completely annihilated her, soul and all, and tried to do the same to all the spells she created. Luckily for us, this one managed to resurface just two days ago” Sam said at what must have been a record setting speed, even for him.
Dean blinked, trying to process all of what he just heard.
“Then we’re getting started on that thing right now” Dean said with undying determination.
“Dean, it’s not that easy, we need the perfect ingredients and the correct moon phase and most of all, Rowena’s help” Sam said
“Then we call Rowena, grab the ingredients, and wait for the goddamn moon, it’s not that hard, Sam!” He said with the air of someone who knew everything.
“Dean, there’s one ingredient that’s a bit… iffy”
“How iffy are we talkin here”
“Like, ‘unless there’s some kind of miracle, it’s gonna be impossible’ kind of iffy” Sam said with tangible sadness.
“What’s the damn ingredient” Dean groaned.
“We need a small amount of Cas’ blood” Sam said with a wince.
“I have that” Dean said softly.
“Wait, what? How’d you get some of his blood” Sam asked, his loud and confused voice contrasting Dean’s small, somewhat scared one.
“Before Cas” Dean started, pausing to swallow “Before he died, he drew sigils to keep Billie out, to keep her away from me. He drew them with his own blood and his hands were still soaked in it. He put his hand on my shoulder to throw me out of the way and got blood on my jacket”
“Let’s hope that’s what we need” Sam said sombrely.
Dean could only nod his agreement, too scared to open his mouth in fear that it would be the final straw and he would start sobbing on the spot, sitting at the map table with his brother.
“Just lie down dear, it won’t take us a second to finish this up” Rowena said while pushing Dean softly down into a bed in the infirmary while snapping closed a pair of handcuffs with sigils that Sam claimed were just ‘for precaution’.
It had been nearly a month, hours of help from Rowena to learn about and locate all of the ingredients, and hours more recruiting and finally getting help from every hunter Sam and Dean could get a hold of to actually round up the all of the herbs and powders to get to this very moment and Dean could practically hear his heart beating, blood rushing past his ears as fast as he felt he could run in that very moment. Flames sparked up inside the blood bowl and high up in the air as Rowena chanted the complex incantation needed for the spell, her eyes starting to glow a bright purple. Dean started to tremble, his restraints shaking and starting to glow slightly.
“What are you feeling right now” Sam said with a note of urgency.
“Like shit” Dean groaned, slurring his words slightly.
“At this point I’m surprised you can even stay awake” Sam said with a mildly teasing tone.
“What’s even gonna-“ Dean started before his body goes limp in the restraints and his soul pulled into the empty.
“Long time, no see, Dean-o” said a voice in the vast blackness.
Dean recognized the voice quickly. “Meg?”
“Oh, I nearly forgot that I’m just using her newest cute little mud monkey disguise to talk to you” they said with a sharp grin not unlike the one that the dream version of Cas had flashed at him.
“Mud monkey?” Dean questioned, recognizing the phrase as something one of the angels from way back before mentally shifting gears and trying to stay as calm and patient as he possibly could in a situation like this.
“Oh yeah, I’ve been making some friends with my new roomies” they replied with a faint snort of laughter and that menacing smile. As if on queue, a scream that Dean managed to recognize as probably Uriel’s erupted from the depths of the empty.
“Where the hell is Cas” Dean said, slowly losing his patience.
“Now Dean-o where have your manners gone, that’s no way to treat a lady” they said in a mostly teasing voice.
“You aren’t even a chick! You’re the ancient cosmic being holding my best friend hostage for fucks sake!” Dean shouted.
“Oh I bet that hurt, he tells you he loves you and you call him your best friend” they said with an air of someone who knew a lot more than they should.
“How the fuck do you-“ Dean started before his soul was pulled from the empty and into his body faster than it could even register that he moved an inch.
“Oh thank god that worked” Sam said in a purely relived voice.
“What the hell happened” Dean said incredulously.
“Your body was decaying and the stress of that stupid spell was killing Rowena because of how much it was draining her magic” Sam said without a hint of the previous relief, only leaving him with a a wifi symbol scrunched in the wrinkles of his forehead and a raised voice.
“How long until we can try again” Dean said.
“Come on Dean, it isn’t that simple and you know it” Sam said “As much as I hate myself for saying something like this but I think we have to stop”
“No the fuck we aren’t! It’s Cas, and I, at least, am not just gonna give up on him this goddamn easy!” Dean shouted.
“Dean it’s just not possible-“ Sam started, getting cut of by miracle barking his head off right outside the door of the infirmary. The door suddenly clicked open and there stood Castiel, covered in toxic smelling black slime.
“Hello, Dean” Cas said in his deep, grumbling voice that always seems to get pitched higher when he’s possessed.
“Cas? Is that really you?” Dean said softly, letting his hopes get impossibly high.
“Yes, and I would like to speak to you, alone” Cas said.
Dean silently nodded his approval.
“Dean I need you to know that I meant everything I said before the empty took me from you and that nothing you say or do could ever change my love for you” Cas said with defiance.
“Cas, man you know I’m not great with the whole words thing so I’m just gonna-“ Dean said, cutting himself off by crashing his lips into Cas’. He pulled away quickly to give Cas a moment but he felt two sturdy, slime covered arms hold him still.
“Dean I never knew that you felt this way, about me, no less” Cas said with a truly happy smile that mostly only showed in his eyes.
“Well I did try to keep it a secret” Dean said with a small chuckle.
“It seemed a well kept secret, but a bad idea overall” Cas teased, finally feeling like he was truly home.
“What’re you rating me” Dean said with similar teasing and the same sense of unspoken comfort