Chapter Text
𝖒𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖘 𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖑𝖊𝖗
"Marriage is indeed a manoeuvring business."
— Jane Austen, Mansfield Park
I awoke a few times, was shushed by a calm voice, and then told to go back to sleep, which I gladly did. It was some time before I awoke properly and understood where I was.
I was in Imladris and I was resting on a bed, and even though on a light sheet was over me, I felt pinned down by a large weight. I took a deep breath in, and I felt a stabbing pain in my ribs. Broken, I decided. But not badly. I opened my eyes.
Glorfindel was sitting next to me, his long legs, holding my hand. His large grey eyes were sad and concerned, but he was smiling.
“Oh Glor,” I whispered, and suddenly he kneeled on the ground and leant over me and buried his head in my neck.
“Minnow,” he breathed. A sense of calm spread over me and I fell back asleep.
I was safe.
***
When I awoke again, I could sit up and I drank some water, helped by Glorfindel. For some time, we said nothing, although there was plenty to discuss. Now we have all the time in Middle Earth, and plenty after that, I thought ruefully.
“Glor, what happened? What did Ulmo do to me?” I asked after a while.
He looked solemnly at me and sighed. “He has tied your soul to mine, as mine is tied to Middle Earth.”
I nodded, not properly understanding. It was something that would take years to understand, I thought, to trulyunderstand. Ulmo had tied my soul to my husband’s – for eternity? Without properly asking me or discussing it with me.
That was very like him – rushing and not thinking through the consequences.
“I spoke to Eru,” I said. “At least I think that was Eru.”
“I think you did, darling,” he replied.
“You must explain it all to me,” I said, tiredly. “But later.”
“Of course,” he said softly, and stroked my hair until I fell into a dreamless and heavy sleep.
He talked and I listened for many days. He told me that I had almost drowned, that Ulmo had kept me underwater for too long and my lungs had filled with the river and he had wrenched me from the water’s grip.
Elrond had done everything he could to restore me. Glorfindel talked about how scared he was that I had died, and that for a brief time, my heart had stopped beating. They had almost given up, but it began to beat again – almost by magic. The few seconds that I had been dead was when I had spoken to Eru. Glorfindel shook when he talked, and tears ran down his face and the sight of him so affected made me cry too.
I told him about my conversation with Eru, and we talked around what had happened to me for so long, that I almost felt dizzy.
The room I was in faced the river and the hill, not out into the valley, and I didn’t leave for several weeks. There was a window and I sat on its ledge, looking at the river below and breathing in the sweet meadow smells.
The heaviness lifted from my body, but I still felt funny. I felt odd in a way I could not identify.
“Your soul has changed, Minnow, it would be strange if you didn’t feel different,” said Glor, bringing me an apple which he cut into slices for me.
“I don’t know how to be immortal,” I told him, nibbling a slice. I didn’t have much of an appetite. “What does it mean that my soul is tied to yours?”
“I don’t know, I’ve never had anyone tied to my soul before,” he said. “We will have to learn together.”
I sighed.
“Tell me about something beyond the sickroom. Beyond you and me. Beyond immortality,” I asked. “Some gossip.”
Glorfindel sighed and sat down on the window ledge next to me. “I came across Elrond and Alasse. Together.”
My jaw dropped. “Kissing?”
He glowered at me. “No.”
“Oh?” I asked, intrigued.
There was a long pause in which Glorfindel scowled out the window to my amusement.
“Apparently the Elves of Eryn Lasgalen are very free with their affections. They obey the letter of the law, but not the spirit-” he said, heatedly.
“Glor, speak plainly,” I commanded.
In stops and starts, keenly embarrassed, he told me that he had walked in on Alasse on her knees, pleasuring Elrond.
“Good for him!” I said, laughing. Glor stood up and started pacing, distressed.
“Minnow, they are Elves! They should not be conducting themselves in this manner, they ought to know better!” he cried.
“I thought you didn’t want to interfere?” I asked.
He crossed his arms and glowered at me. “They’re not suited to each other, Minnow. I thought her appreciation of him would fade. In time.”
“Oh Glor,” I said.
“You think me a prude Minnow, but how can one worship another if there is not love? I do not understand it…” he said, kissing me on the forehead.
“I don’t think lust is simply a human – or mortal – feeling, dearest,” I said, amused. He shot me a look and then softened.
“I am so sick of seeing you unwell!” he said and burst into tears. “But I’m so selfishly happy!”
“Come here,” I said, and held him tight.
****
“You are now well enough to speak of important matters, Minnow,” said Elrond, a few days later. I had seen no one Glorfindel for weeks now – I thought it was very strange that I had no visitors, but maybe they were letting me get used to my new circumstances.
Who knew with Elves, I thought, they were such strange creatures.
“You wish to speak of my soul?” I asked. I had managed to eat some stew and was feeling quite satisfied with my progress. My ribs were mending, and I felt stronger every day.
“Your life,” said Glorfindel. I sat up with a start.
What could they mean? Was there more to think about than my soul changing and living forever? Outliving many of my friends, seeing the seasons change and being unchanged myself? Or perhaps I would change more than I knew over the coming decades, centuries… even millennia.
It was too big to contemplate.
But perhaps now I was part of their club, they had some secrets or even wisdom to impart, I hoped. How to cope with immortality.
“You will have to leave behind the name of Minnow,” said Elrond, gently. I turned to Glorfindel and he smiled sadly.
“Why?” I asked, unable to keep the alarm out of my voice.
“It’s no longer safe-“ began Elrond.
“Who would care about what happens to me? I have no family beyond Ulmo – and my friends are so… far away,” I said, confused, looking between them.
Glorfindel and Elrond shared a look.
“It is from Anarion and Numenoreans that we must protect you,” said Glorfindel, slowly and with meaning.
Elrond stood up and gave me time to appreciate his beautiful light blue robe. It glittered in the morning light and made him look princely. The expression on his face was pensive and sad. He spoke at long last.
“They mourn the loss of immortality. My brother Elros made his choice – most willingly – and rejoiced in his humanity. But that was a long time ago, and his memory has changed. There is resentment towards me, for choosing differently and taking a path they cannot follow. There have been mortals, of course, who have been granted leave to step in Valinor, and not be parted from their immortal lovers – but it is so rare, Minnow.”
“They will think I don’t deserve it?” I asked, confused.
“I know you deserve this, and no one can deny Glorfindel his happiness. No, my fear is that their resentment will turn to jealousy and hatred.”
“Minnow, it is dangerous…” said Glorfindel.
“You will not keep me inside again?” I asked, in horror. The thought of being locked up in Elrond’s house for a hundred years…
“No, darling, no. Never!” said Glorfindel, taking my hand and putting it against his check. “But there are choices before you.”
I nodded.
“I ask you to leave your name behind,” repeated Elrond. “And choose another.”
“Erestor will put it about that you drowned in the river – and we will use another name for you. Inside the realm of Imladris you will be safe.”
“Is that why I’ve seen no one?” I asked. “Even Elwen?”
From Elrond and Glorfindel’s expressions, I could see that I would have to give up my friend as well as my name. Glorfindel took me into his arms and I started to cry, but then a door crashed open.
“There is no need to fear me. I will write to Anarion myself – he will believe me,” she announced, striding into the room in a beautiful burgundy dress. She looked like an Elvish princess for a second, regal and masterful, but her face softened as she looked at me. Erestor followed in her wake, looking annoyed.
“She’s very pushy!” he said in Sindarin.
“You are a poor guard, Erestor,” snapped Glorfindel.
“I’m more of a scholar than a soldier,” he returned, closing the door and leaning on it. He crossed his arms and scowled at us.
Elwen ignored this exchange. She took my hand and looked into my eyes. “I think it is only men – and perhaps Maia – who wish to live forever. Women never do. I have never wanted it. I want to have Aradon’s baby, and perhaps a few more, and live to see the North prosperous and do all I can to help it. We shall have balls, and assemblies, and parties and I will celebrate life at every stage. I don’t fear the passing of time, and I never have. It is a gift. And I will not accept you being cloistered away from me. You and I have been through too much to be parted. Our lives – and destinies – have ever been different, but we have always been friends.”
I was too affected by her speech and could only grasp her hand and nod. Perhaps it was selfish, but I couldn’t let go of everything in life I held dear for Glorfindel. The cost was high.
There was a long pause where she scowled at Glorfindel and Elrond.
“How did you know that she has been granted immortality?” Elrond asked at long last.
“I’m a princess, not a simpleton,” she scoffed. I snorted.
“I’m to deliver her baby,” I said, weakly, after a pause. She smiled and a tear ran down her cheek, unchecked.
“Of course, you are,” she replied.
Glorfindel kissed my head. “I do not believe I could chase you away if I tried,” he said to Elwen. “I know you will keep this secret, and aid in this endeavour. If Elwen declares her dead to Anarion, he will not send any scouts to make sure. Elrond?”
The half-Elf was looking out of the window, his eyes misty.
“Perhaps I spoke too soon. Elros’ memory and choices are still honoured by his kin, and I ignore this at my own peril. Thank you, Elwen of the North.” He turned back her and bowed at her, the Elvish way.
She nodded at him.
“Linyalótë,” I said, after a moment. “My epessë.”
“Water flower,” said Elwen. “Very pretty. I’ve never heard you be called that before.”
“That is because it is supposed to be private,” said Glorfindel dryly.
“Call me Minnow in private then, and Linyalótë in public,” I said. Glorfindel raised an eyebrow at me, and I rolled my eyes.
Minnow was dead. Long live Linyalótë, I thought.
***
“It is not something that Glorfindel understands, because his love and desire for you run parallel in him, but it goes differently with me,” said Elrond, walking slowly besides me. I was holding his arm and walking slowly. A few weeks had passed since I had taken on a new name and left the healer’s room, but I still felt fragile.
Glorfindel was looking after me, and I was beginning to get cabin fever, restless and impatient with how I felt. Patience was still something I needed to learn.
“He doesn’t think badly of you, Elrond, he just doesn’t understand. He wants you to be happy,” I said, fervently.
“I believe I am, given the circumstances,” he said, ponderously. It was such an Elrond reply that I had to stop myself from snorting.
“My happiness will be complete when yours is,” I said.
“You are sweet, Linyalótë. I begin to fear that no Elf will ever marry me, and perhaps I no longer desire that,” he said, with a sigh.
Privately, I thought that this could be a good thing. Chasing after marriage couldn’t end well. Instead, I asked him what made him happy.
“I must admit, I have missed fucking."
I choked on air, tripped and grabbed onto his robe. “Valar above, Elrond, such foul language!”
Elrond laughed at me. “Who do you think taught ‘Stor how to swear?”
“In all honesty, did not think Elves could be… could… engage in…ummm,” I said. It felt too rude to discuss sex in detail with such an elegant and graceful Elf.
“As Glorfindel would say, they obey the letter of the law and not the spirit,” he said, amusedly. He looked down at me. “Oral sex.”
“Yes, thank you, that was unclear to me. I am a midwife, I do know of such things,” I protested.
“I am aware you know of such things, you and Glorfindel are not as discrete as you think you are,” he said, blithely.
Blushing hideously, I apologised, and he laughed at me. “In truth, Linyalótë, I am aware that my dalliance with Alasse will be short-lived, but neither of us mind. We already set the terms – she shall stay for a few months more, then leave for Lindon. I miss the intimacy of being with someone. I thought that I was ready for love, but perhaps it was just infatuation,” he said. “I am a little too old for such missteps.”
“Oh, no one is too old for the occasional misstep,” I said. Elrond smiled at me.
***
“It is done. I have written about your death to Annie and told him I am distraught,” said Elwen, calmly.
“What a strange conversation we are having,” I said.
We were drinking tea and eating dainty little pastries. It was a glorious day. The sun was shining, bees were visiting flowers, and Glorfindel had travelled outside Imladris to set up his perimeter, which I took as a good sign. He was only to be gone a few days, and he had taken Erestor and Aradon, but the fact he felt comfortable to do so made my heart soar. I had asked him to confide in his friends if he felt it would soothe his distress and he had kissed me deeply, and promised he would.
“What a strange life!” said Elwen. “My maid’s child is my niece, my friend is marrying an Elf, but we are pretending she’s dead, my brother is married to the most annoying courtier I’ve ever met, and my husband is in love with me!”
I smiled at her. “Is that so?”
“He told me! It was from his own lips! Before he left, I swear it,” she insisted.
“I believe you!” I laughed. “I believe him!”
Elwen was suddenly solemn. “But there is bad news, too. Berendine and Joy won’t join us for your wedding. Elrond doesn’t think it’s safe.”
I took a sip of tea. “No lace, or tiara then, huh,” I said. My lip was wobbling. “So, they think I’m dead.”
It was too awful to contemplate, but it was unavoidable.
“It is a hard thing, being a woman in this world,” said Elwen, ponderously.
“Gah,” I said, with feeling.
I would miss Joy growing up, becoming a young lady and an adult. It felt like such a loss. And Berendine, who I had been through so much with… I would never see the two of them again.
“I think I’m having a boy,” said Elwen.
“An heir,” I said, my voice breaking. “Aradon will be pleased.”
“He says he will happily train a daughter to look after the North,” she replied. I could see that happening. A little Elwen, serious and with a blade. Middle Earth would not be ready for such a person, I thought.
“He’s a good man,” I said. “The best.”
“We should ask Celebrian if she has something you can wear on your wedding day!” cried Elwen, as if the thought just occurred to her.
“Over my dead body,” I grumbled.
***
Elwen took no notice of my wishes, and two days later, Celebrian invited the two of us to her massive, airy tent where she had taken out a magnificent gold dress.
“It’s too long for you but we can pin the hem up!” said Elwen, approvingly. She started stripping me as if I were a doll or a young child. It was futile to resist, I thought, and I was touched Celebrian would share a dress with me. She made me stand on a stool and I put my arms up and allowed Elwen to pull the dress onto me. She was clearly enjoying the fussing.
“Oh! Elvish dresses are to die for! It falls so elegantly around you...” she cried, not paying me or Celebrian any attention. She started holding up pieces of jewellery that she brought and making disapproving noises.
“I am to leave Imladris to go home after your Tolfalasian wedding to Glorfindel,” said Celebrian, stiltedly.
“Oh?” I said, feigning interest.
“I have worn out my welcome, I believe,” she said, softly.
“Elrond’s hospitality could never be worn out,” I said, warmly.
“He has made it perfectly clear that I have no place here,” she said, waspishly.
Was she insulted, or was she jealous about Elrond's dalliance, I wondered. Elwen moved my hair about.
“Alasse is loved by all,” I said. “She is a friend to all.”
“She is, isn’t she,” said Celebrian, resentfully. “You do look lovely,” she added, softly.
“Not too bad, not too bad. Could be worse,” said Elwen, approvingly. I rolled my eyes. “Your curls would support a flower crown,” she said, ponderously. “Hmmm…”
“I can hem the dress,” said Celebrian, and to my utter surprise, she knelt down and started pinning it dexterously.
“It’s all coming together…” said Elwen, crossing her arms and looking at me up and down. “I wonder what flowers…” she muttered and walked out the tent.
I was left alone in the tent with Celebrian. I turned to her.
“Would it be possible to take in the sleeves as well?” I asked her. I flapped my arms: the long butterfly sleeves came down to my knees. She stood up and pinned the sleeves back.
“I am happy that you and Glorfindel are marrying, and that your soul is now tied to his,” Celebrian said, softly.
“It’s a strange transition,” I said, holding out my arms for her. She worked quickly, and the sleeves were soon shortened.
“It cannot be easy,” she said, as she worked. “To change into something else that you were not expecting. But we will all help you.”
“… Thank you,” I said. She nodded at me.
I had not expected any help from Celebrian, but I supposed I was one of them now.
Well, almost.
***
“Tomorrow, we marry,” I said to Glorfindel. We were naked in our bed.
“I cannot wait, but in my heart of hearts, we are already married,” he said, stroking my hair.
“My soul is already tied to yours,” I said. “But a party is always fun. It would be nice to celebrate something.”
“And be married in the eyes of all,” he said, stroking my hip, then my waist, then slowly running his thumb over my nipple.
“Again, Glorfindel?” I chastised, as he pinched my nipple and pressed his erection against my hip. He smiled at me and flipped me over as I gasped. This time, he fucked me so slowly and intensely, I started crying, surprised at the emotions pouring out of me. Relief, love, amazement and safety, as his body engulfed mine, I was surrounded by him and felt so safe. I lost myself in emotion, closing my eyes and letting Glorfindel guide me. I was lost in an orgasm, shuddering and crying his name.
“Minnow,” he whispered in my ear after I finished.
“I love you so much,” I muttered in return, and he kissed my ear. The sun was rising, I realised, as I fell asleep
***
“Brides are supposed to be nervous! I was nervous! Why aren’t you nervous?” cried Elwen, who had braided white flowers into my hair. I did look miraculously serene, I thought, as she held up a mirror to me. I had colour in my cheeks, and I almost looked smug. Well, I was marrying an Elf lord, I thought.
“Probably because she spent all night fucking,” muttered Erestor, his hands on his hips. “I’m here to deliver you to your groom, who is nervous.”
I stood up, worried. “Oh Glor!” I said, thinking about how strange it must be to go through a wedding. Elves don't wed in front of other people... it's such a private thing.
“That Elf is going to be looking even smugger than you,” said Elwen, straightening my dress. “He dies, he comes back to life. He finds a lover, she’s mortal, oh no, a king is after her, oh she chooses the Elf. Turns out she has a Valar for a father, now she’s immortal. Sauron dies, everyone lives happily ever after. There!”
Elwen stood back and admired her work. Erestor said I looked lovely, and I squashed a sudden pang of longing for Thavron to call me piglet and walk with me to my new husband. Instead, Erestor and Elwen stood either side of me, and threaded their arms through mine. This was enough, I thought. More than enough!
They walked me to the centre of the valley, where all of Imladris had gathered. Someone was playing a harp, but I wasn’t paying attention. Glorfindel was standing next to Elrond, smiling at me.
I walked towards him.
He was dressed in a plain gold tunic, but his style was never particularly ornate – it never needed to be. We matched – for once, I thought. Despite his short hair, he looked handsome and happy. There were still shadows under his eyes, but they were receding.
We stood in front of each other, smiling but unspeaking and held each other’s hands. He squeezed my hands and nodded at me. All I could do was smile.
“Strangers from a distant land, friends of old. You have been summoned here to celebrate the love between Laurefindil, Lord of the Golden Flower, and Linyalótë, of Imladris,” said Elrond, who was wearing a beautiful burgundy robe, and a circlet.
“Many of us have been witness to the love blossom between our two dear friends. There have been countless obstacles to overcome, and much darkness to endure – but their loyalty and devotion to either other, and those they love, has never been in doubt. I have witnessed great spiritual change in both of them, as they have grown individually, and together to become the best versions of themselves. It has been a beautiful, and sometimes remarkable thing, to watch two very different people fall in love and choose each other again and again, even when it was hard. Even when it meant letting go.” Elrond looked at me and I held Glorfindel’s hands tightly. “But Glorfindel and Linyalótë have never been quiet about their love for each other,” said Elrond with a twinkle in his eye. I blushed, but Erestor burst out laughing. Chancing a look at Glorfindel, he looked a mixture of amused and annoyed.
“As they stand before each other, they have chosen to commit to their relationship – forever, throughout all the seasons of life. These are the ties that bind,” he said, taking out a silken rope from his sleeve, and wrapping it around our hands and wrists. “Are you willing to be bound for eternity to your love, Glorfindel?”
“Gladly,” he said, in a clear, strong voice that rang like a bell. I felt something deep inside me - it must be my soul, I thought.
“And you, dearest Linyalótë, will you bind yourself to Glorfindel?”
I nodded, too overcome with emotion to speak for a few moments. “Yes… yes I will,” I said. Glorfindel reached forward and kissed my forehead.
The rope glowed and disappeared. I jumped and Glorfindel grabbed me, my eyes wide and shocked as I looked up at him. Elrond clearly couldn’t resist a little bit of magic.
“Linyalótë and Laurefindil are wed in the eyes of all,” cried Elrond, but I wasn’t looking at him.
Glorfindel’s smile was wide, and he was crying, but they were happy tears.
“Minnow, forever and always,” he whispered in my ear.
Reader, I kissed him.